W
THE FORT WILL TIMES
Published Every Thursday.
PORT MILL, 80UTH CAROLINA.
This la the open aeaBon for TurklBb
ruga and hot lamalea
What 1b wanted la a cold etorage
egg that bears the date of lta eepultore.
Some of those new songs would
make a respectable family phonograph
bluah.
Pythons have gone up. They now
cost $5 a foot, isn't that awful.
Mabel?
PariH may have seen the last of the
hobble skirt, but they are still popular
In America.
The French aviator, who flew 281
miles in 185 mlnuteB, had little time tc
view the scenery.
The San Francisco dog. with a gold
hlpge on his back leg, wouldn't be safe
a minute in Chicago.
Noah was more fortunate than
present day circus men. lie had no
press agents on his salary list
The soda fountain Industry is traced
as far back bb 1552. Surely the soda
thirst has not existed that long.
Fashion may decree mannish skirts
for women, but why masculine when
they talk of embroidery effect?
Strange as It may seem, while beef ,
and lamb and butter aviated, the price
of chile con came remained stationary.
Five million muskrat skins are mar
Kcted each year, but when the conBurners
get them they are variously
named.
It Is fervently hoped that walking
does not Become .a tad. Cold suppers
are not the most enjoyable things in
the world.
Sometimes we refer flippantly to
the antiseptic life, but there Is no
doubt about It?the free lunch fork
ought to go.
An experienced English aviator
thinks bomb dropping at b^st a game
of chance, but It will never be taken
up like poker.
In tracing the typewriter back to
1714, we fall to find any record showing
when the stenographer took hold
of the situation.
Aerial deadlines are to be established.
Thut leaves the cyclone cellar as
the only place left for the poor In
habitants of earth.
Chicago, according to the latest estimate.
haB a population of 2.307,628.
but the next wave of crime may re- j
duce that considerably.
Taking Into consideration the nd I
verBe talk against the tipping habit. !
we are forced to concede that after all
tips are grudgingly given.
It Is a mistake to nsBume that courtesy
costs nothing. A St. Louis man.
while In the act of bowing to a lady
on the street, was struck by an auto- 1
mobile.
Now
In the time for energetic In- !
venters and vendors of bulletproof
cloth to be Interesting high Mexican
officials In their material for new I
spring atyles.
The New York baseball club has In- !
sured Manager McOraw's life for
$100,000. Might not humanity pre |
acrlbe n similar provision for the
league umpires?
Rtocklngs are not to be worn on the
Cleveland bathing beaches next sum- >
mer, says the Cleveland Plain Dealer
A barefooted bathing beach ought to
be worth seeing
Selling old letters for $2,000 and
$2,500 convinces us that the goose
quill and the sand, used by our forefathers.
beats up to date writing meth
ods. financially speaking.
A little piece of twine, which
dropped Into the steering gear of the
liner Lusltnnla, caused $1,000,000 dam
age. It sounds "fishy." but the Cunard '
company says It Is a fact
One concern In Atlanta burned $30.000
worth of one tlmo fashionable car- j
rlnges to make room for the modern '
auto And yet the horse Is holding j
^iiin urn u iij iince unu niyie excellently
well.
A man In Pennsylvania who volunteered
for service In the Civil war and j
was rejected because he was too old '
has Just died. Rut he established his
point, though It took him a long time
to do It.
Cleveland officials, who declare that
the fly has been exterminated there,
evidently plan to spend their summer
vacations In some other state.
Just to show that he Is a Jolly
good fellow still. Sir Thomas Llpton
will come over next year and lose another
race for the America's cup.
The Iowa man who missed train
connections and was one hour too late
for his marriage ceremony should appreciate
Just how kind (ate ?b? to
i?ilDJEA CHEST
It Contained Treasure Which
Brought Happiness to Both
Old and Young.
By GENEVIEVE ULMAR.
"It's the law or poverty?take your
choice." was the stern dictum of obstinate.
self-opinionated James Ross,
unci? of Philip Carle, who stood before
him.
*'I Am Rorrv nnrlo hut It'a r*a* V*r?
law for me." came the clear, definite
response. "I'm not cut out for It, the
business Is distasteful to me. and I
would rather have a crust of bread
and my artistic ambitions, than the
solemn judicial sense and a fortune."
"So much the poorer you. so much
the richer I," quoted the old money
grabber. "You need bank on no dependence
ou me hereafter. Walt."
And the speaker snapped open a
drawer in his desk and took front it a
small package. "That belonged to
your father. It Is legally mine, but I
give It to you. as a memento or to
waste, as you like. I wash my hands
of you."
Philip Carle made his exit feeling
that he had made a pretty bad mess
of his affairs. There was no help for
It, however. The artistic impulse in
him was strong, and uncertain as
seemed the field he was bound to stick
to It.
He had not gone to his self-centered
relative to ask money for himself.
While he had very little of that
commodity personally, the needs of
another had urged him to apply for
assistance. He undid the wrappings
of the little parcel. It contained a
diamond ring, probably n remnant of
the wealth he knpw his dead father
had once possessed.
"I will never sell it." he said, walking
on thoughtfully, "but"? and he
stopped at the first pawnbroker's
shop he came to.
"I will loan you three hundred dollars."
its proprietor said, and Philip
nodded with a lump 1n his throat.
"What About This?"
trying to believe that what he was doing
was right.
Me at length turned into a small
tailoring Bhop. Its show windows
were neat as a pin. A rather unique
sign swung over its doorway. It read:
"Only the lilies of the fieM enn
clothe themselves cheaper than you
can In this shop."
"Well, how is business, Mr. Garland?"
Inquired Philip of an old man
with tj?e worried yet expectant fnce
of a person waiting and hoping for
work.
"Getting worse, if possible, all the
time," was the reply. "I am afraid
my venture is a poor-one. Locality
bad, or else 1 do not know how to
win trade. There's the mortgage, too.
They have given ine a bare twentyfour
hours to Hettle or give up possession.
Why does not my brother
come on?"
"There is the money to relieve your
present necessities." Hald Philip,
handing over the proceeds of the loan.
The old man stared; quick tears
arose to his eyes. He waved back
the geuerous hand extended, but
Philip persuaded hiin with success.
He induced his friend to make one
more trial of his business experiment.
and left him with encouruglng
words.
"1 had to do it," Philip told himself.
"I can't see Mr. Garland lose his nil.
If it is only for her sake?dear Isabel!
How he has struggled to give her a
musical education. So near to acquiring
it. too. I won't regret a good
act."
It was Philip'H first picture, the portrait
of this Isabel, that smiled down
from an easel as tho young artist entered
his studio. Quite incidentally
he had become aennnlnfeil uMth Mr
Garland and tnen with his ward Isabel
was the daughter of the closest
friend of the old man who had started
him in life, lost his own wealth,
and a more loyal guardian never lived.
Isabel was perfecting a musical education
and Garland never let her
know how hard he was pressed. For
over a month he had been In an optlmlstie
mood. He had received a letter
from a brother, a sea captain who
had been off on a two years' cruise.
It came from a distant city and on
Its heels a large seaman's chest. The
letter announced that very soon Its
writer would follow, and that he had
come to share a royal fortune with
his brother.
Rut since then not a word had been
7 .
received from the ae& Sptaln. Business
had fallen away, ai j now the I
generous-hearted artist sacrificed
his all to assist hij frierd8
No love word had bee! spoken be- |
tween Philip and Isabe'. Evenings
when he visited the neat I\r]0r*behlnd
the little Bhop. however, Jnd the happy
twain conversed of ar mUBic and
of all things beautiful, fejt that
their souls were in comply harmony.
One week later Philip -vigtygd the |
Garland place to find ?16 man
immersed In the deepest gUfyjp. He ;
had received a telegram^ attflfbtmcing I
me aeam 01 nis oromer II *-*fc?pltal.
The last words he Bpok?'wej? transmitted:
"Tell my broth*,. lU the
chest and Its treasure is .fcjfown."
Its "treasure," accordUUCt^-^jl^-laud,
consisted of some Balka^^jjothes. a
few nautical instrument? ^apd a keg
containing some oily of the
"It's the end," said the <]o-man dejectedly.
"My main is that
your generous loan l*-'lbtt. They
threaten to sell me out' tomorrow."
Philip could do nothing further in
a money way. He wan r*S&ute not to
abandon his friends, ho*s%er That
afternoon ho made a cootf|Ct with a
picture houBe to do .?otSri? copying.
The recompense was not l^-go?, but it
would fit Into a plnn t > had for taking
care of Garland until the l<jjtter could
find new employment.
He was greeted with a Raj pppctaclo
when ho reached the Gar|inj place
that evening. The old man was pacing
the floor distractedly. TLbel, pale
and distressed, was seated tt, al) that
had been left in the plaq. by tho ;
ruthless creditors?the old s\a chest.
"It will be easy to arrange for your
care until you get on your fiPt again, ;
Mr. Garland," said Philip cheerfully, j
"What are we going to do ^.itb the
chest, though? Let us opei, an(j
select what is worth while."
They set aside a compOBS anfj ponip
other few things out of the betero- i
geneous contents of the ches^
"What about this?" inquired philip.
lifting out the keg. "Why, \jr p,ar.
land!"
Reversing the keg. the yoUTg artist
uttered a very startled exclamation.
Across one end there was tracetj jn
ink the word: "Ambergris."
One hour later the happy c,|(j man
knew that the old sea chest hud CQn.
tained treasure, indeed. Worti,
than its weight in gold, the
rare and readily salable. r?PfS??nted
over twelve thousand dollars.
"wow Isabel ran flnish her ttLpK<"
cried the old man joyfully. y?Ui
oh. my dear friend! coinxan^d jh0
fortune you have discover^U*"
slat you in any way in your Krtlgt's
career." Tfc
Isabel clung close to the arm
young man who had ao loyally*
their troublea. aa he escorted tJLeiit to
a near hotel. The pressure Of "htr
dear hand thrilled Philip ('aria \
old man walked prudently, 0I
the happy pair.
And when they parted foil
night, the decision had been re'tChed
that the mualcal and the art ?
should be pursued?together.*'
(Copyright. I!d3. l>y W. O. '!"hapit in)
CAME OUT OF HIS "?lw E
But It Took Some Language* by t^e
Motor Bus Conductor to Arotn t
Him.
vl te\ *
"Pares, please."
But the passenger on tor d| j^e
Fifth avenue motor bus gave no llf.P(p
"Fares, please." This time a 1 ttje
louder.
Still the passenger oblivious.
"ny the ejaculatory term 'far,^
said the conductor. T imply no r^f'or.
ence to the state of the weather,
complexion of the admirable blqn(jp
you observe in the contiguous ?,oat,
nor even to the quality of Beryjce
vouchsafed by this philathropic ;or.
poratlon. 1 merely allude, in a n an.
ner perhaps lacking in delicacy |i)Ut
not in consclseness. to the monetury
obligation set up by your presencd jn
this conveyance, and suggest tl\at.
without contempering your celebiijty
with enunciation, you immediately pL0.
ceed to liquidate or?"
And at this point the pnssen?et
emerged from this trance.?New Y(Lr](
Mail. 1
Bibles in Bristol.
A hint of ancient Hibles in :*f
neighborhood of Bristol has btAMHL
many other confessions of cofl^^KKS
treasures There is n "1
Hi hie of into, niOHM
1555 in a country cottage, a
good condition dated 1599. and
er dated 1594, which the owner.jHkfy'-!
a poor man. would like to sell. tHJn
also is in good condition. They 4MB j>
their Hibles well when printing^KjHflf
young, and that is possibly the jfltjnV1
of their preservation.
Those long-preserved west coftR;
Hibles remind one of the '
sanctity which the Hible attAfiM<
among those who never open?!?*
"We always keep a Hible In the fK?n
in case of illness," said a plou# vfl
lager, "but, thank heaven, we've^baa
no use for It since poor old graft^W
ther was took!"?London Chron
' l9' I I
The Mimosa.
i The mimosa or wattle.
triotlc Australian* wore recentlpftfti..
celebration of the anniversary otjepSI^
landing of the first colony of EnpSfitti]
draws its name from its supposed'
mimetic powers. Hs leaves wereli
thought to assume the shape of anl 1
mals. Shelley knew it as the scnsi- ;
tlve plant, and other poets have rep
resented the mimosa as curling up
when the sound of a horse's hoof*
came within a mile or two. Southey
imagined the mimosa as a giant tree
and saw men reclining "beneath Its
1 shade." But the mimosa Austral >
I ians know is of moderate dimensions
( .. .f
TROUT IS TRAINED TO
DO CIRCUS STUNTS
They Jump Out of Water for Morsels,
Spring Through Hoop
and Stand llnrinht.
Tort Townsend, Wash.?Educated
seals, cultured cats, trained dogs,
chickens, mice and the rest may as>
well take a back Beat. C. \V. Lange
or thiB city has a school of trained
trout that do about everything he
tells them, both In and out of the
water. Lange is a fish fancier, and
his trout pool is one of the showplaces
of Fort Townsend.
All the Annies in his trout pool are
18 inches long and weigh about 4'f:
pounds each. He has always taken
a great delight In feeding them, and
when some months ago several of the
fish leaped clear out of the water tc
get the bits of steak he was giving
them for their supper he saw possl
?
Had Them Jump Through a Hoop
bilitfcs. Kvor since that time he has
been educating the school.
First he throws a few small bits ol
meat into the water to let them knowit
Is feeding time; then he has them
jump out of the water to cat eh the
morsels, has them jump through a
hoop, stand upright on their tails,
flip to the reverse, nose downward,
and makes them shove a pushball in
the water.
He has a fairy boat, with strings
dangling, and at his command they
will take the strings in their teeth
and pull away on the tiny boat for
dear life.
Feeding time Is as good as a circus
at the Lnnge homertead. and hundreds
gather about the pool to see
the show almost every day. lie says
that as soon as he can teach them to
spar with gloves and repeat the
Lord's prayer he will start out on the
road with his pets.
DREAMS HE'S OM A VOLCANO
'Jsea Electric Warmer: lllusior Is
Shattered on Arrival of
the Firemen.
Chicago.?All his life J. It. Orelnei
f?*'.l Lake avenue. Wilmette. has been
troubled with cold feet KMnnllv hi.
purchased an electric pad foot warmer
The other night was the first
time he had occasion to use It. Wrapping
it carefully arotind his frigid
feet Grelner drifted off into pleasant
dreams
Warmth suffused his whole system.,
lie was in a bathing suit, dabbling
In the tropical waters of the gulf
He walked barefoot on warm, white
sand He swam in warm water far
out into the gulf to a tiny speck in
the distance. It was an island, the
j?enk of a volcano,
r .'The lava was warm and soothing
to his former chilled feet. He sat on
tiie edge of the orates and dabbled
els feet in the seething water within,
f "Wow'" "Oli h hl" "Ouch!"
t A terrific shriek arose in the night
and its echo reverberated Flash'
ust like that disappeared the warm
Vision Hut some of it was real
relner cotild smell the crater's
smoke
f Outside n clanging announced a
re department answering a call
' orclicd feet within told Orrlner
that heat somewhere was renl. Then
a half-clad volunteer fireman of the
W'imette department buret into the
pom.
Tin minutes later tttlt part of the
bed and house that had caught fire
from 'he foot warmer had been saved
|r< r.i further ruin and Crelner soothed
his burns with oil
"Cold foot npnln." he mused dlstonsolatr
iv: "I might have known
that dream of warmth was too good
ft be true."
Courteous Suicide.
KblMgOr "Scatter my nshep In the
f?u r winds." wrote George Williams
to his undertaker friend, before he
shot himself. "Pardon mo old fellotf
for pausing the trouble." read the letter.
"Ill health caused the action."
%Quecr Navy.
Perne.?The Swiss navy no longer
w ill be .? joke If the government succeeds
in Its project to raise a fund
hy p? pular subscription to purchase a
fleet of aeroplanes.
f : \
i v
i
I s,
J
* yCr^'^-3 -ar
Lone Set of Whiskers Up
: nr vSHINGTON.?It was whispered. '
! *? but the whisper was not absolute- .
w verified, that the real absorbing
question before the Wilson cabinet at |
its special meeting the other day was
that of a delicate tonsorial policy, one ;
Involving the much-vaunted "J?-ffer- ,
nonian simplicity" in its inherent prln- !
clplcs and requiring razor-edged dl- j
ploinacy in Its treatment.
The intricacies of the Mexican situ- !
ation, the matter of patronage distri- ]
bution. the subject of diplomatic rela- 1
tions with South and Central America,
the tarifT, the currency and kin- j
drcd topics all were shelved while
i the cnbinet members turned their
combined statesmanship loose 011 a
pair of offending whiskers.
Secretary Redfleld of the departj
ment of commerce is the owner of the
hirsute appendages in question. With
j one exception the other members of
the cabinet are as smooth-shaven us
was Jefferson himself. Not one lias a
! hair 011 cheek, chin, lip or Jowl, while !
a few in addition have domes that
Gray Squirrels at Soldiei
THE- gray squirrels in the Soldiers' 1
Home grounds are happy and well |
ted. Perhaps it may be that they are j
the most carefree and the best fed
squirrels in the district. There is a .
: strong friendship between many of
i the veterans and these frisky little
: creatures. Of course, they are tatnc,
j very tame. This Is not peculiar to
the Soldiers' Home squirrels, because
j the squirrels in. the capitol grounds.;
In the Smithsonian grounds, in the
Monument lot, in Prahklin park and
; In other of the city squares ure ex- i
tremelv tame. Hut these Soldiers' ;
; Heme squirrels when they see a man
i in blue und feel the want of a hick- |
i ory nut or a filbert or u peanut do
not hesitate to walk right up to him
! or climb right up on him and ask in
the squirrel language for What they
j want.
West of the main building, Scott
; "hall, Is a tree whose summer shade
> Is dense. Under it is a rectaugle of
| brick pave. On this pavement are
rows of bepches placed as they would
1 be in a hall, that is, the rows are as
' close together as they can be for the
j comfort of the occupants. Many ;nen
sit there on warm and genial days
and on soft and balmy evenings. It
is a squirrel playground. Hut in winter
the benches are removed and the
veterans do not 'linger there. Neltb- ;
er do the squirrels. ,
In the rear of the Anderson cottage
' ?the cottage from which President i
McCoy's Humor Enlivens
I
*"?' \ f THERE SEEMS T4 |
S ? J 6E A CREAT MAMY
T^2V:^ lA I5UCK6RS IN TW' J
Representative m'coy of new
Jersey, one of the most serious1
faced men in congress, has the most
! surprising way of enlivening the dehates
of the house with humorous
suggestions. No one is safe in speech
or a motion when McCoy is on the
j floor looking solemn,
i Recently, during a discussion of n
project to erect one-hundred-thousandj
dollar memorials in Washington, L>.
C., to Thomas Jefferson and Alexan;
der Hamilton, Representative Cooper
! of Wisconsin wanted to know what
, had become of a fund raised by the
sale of Thomas Jefferson's works, and I
which had been advertised as a fund
with which to erect a statue to the
Where Representative M:
ii k GAND1DATK for congress has to
J\ stand for a good many things,
; but I draw tho line on drinking snnke
liquor," said Representative James T.
McDermott of Illinois.
"You see, it was this way. I had
been iu a mighty hard- campaign and
was about exhausted. I dropped into
a cafe run by an old German. He inquired
about, my health, and 1 told
him thnt 1 was 'all in.'
" 'My side hurts, my head aches, my
lungs are sore and I am just about
played out,' I complained.
" '1 bin mighty glad you tolt me :
about it,' he replied, all sympathy at
once. 'I got der stuff dat vill yust i
fix dat all right.'
"With that he reached beneath the
bar and pulled out a big bottle in
which there were floating half a dozen
small snakes, and he insisted that I
should take a drink of the mixture
" 'It vlil make dat all right in no
\
JJjf 4
'
" .it > -sSfei
ft
wmm'
sets Wilson's Cabinet ? '
ire sparingly thatched. The Secretary
of Agriculture. David F. Houston,
las a very small mustache, so spare
n fact, that It is barely noticeable.
Opposite President Wilson sits Mr.
Redfleld at the foot of the great mahogany
table, a position that makes
his facial decorations all the more
conspicuous.
The whiskers that tickle the fancy
of the cabinet are of the Burnside pattern.
If allowed to grow a bit more
luxuriantly they would be a famous
pnir of Dundrearies. They lack the
swishing whiskbroom of Senator
Kern's beard, but are of a tvne that
might adorn with equal grace a prosperous
banker or a patent medicine
man.
When the Redfield Burnsides loom
in sight their wearer might be taken
for a successful manufacturer, a returned
missionary or an advance
agent for a three-ring circus, for they
lack the umbrageousnesa and the effulgence
thnt go with the statesman's
cut.
In official circles it was reported
that a resolution was presented asking
that Mr. Hedfleid detach himself
from the whiskers.
This report raised a question !n a
western delegation of how such & tonsoriul
policy adopted by the national
administration might affect Col. James
Hamilton Lewis in his contest for
election to the United States senate.
V Home Are Well Fed
Lincoln went forth to see the attack
by Early's troops on the northern
lino of Washington's defenses at Fort
Stevens,: and which . has been occupied
as a summer homo by other
presidents?is an oval around whtcji
ten elms are growing. ThiB oval is
bisected east and west by a brick
walk. On the trunk of each of theso
trees about six feet from the ground t
is nailed an old grape basket; and ' V-\
each of these baskets is kept nearly
filled with nuts and acorns.' It is the
principal dining room of the Soldiers'
Home squirrels?the squirrels' mesa
hall. These little baskets ,of acorns
may be seen on trees in other parts of
the Soldiers' Home grounds, but here
they are close together.
i.
The Anderson cottage is pebbledash?that
is, the walls are. Squirrels
climb these walls and scamper up and
down as nimbly as they do the trunks
of trees It seemed to the Rambler
that a number of the squirrels have
built their homes somewhere back under
the eaves of this cottage.
Debates of the House
great founder of the Democracy. The
house fell into a general clatter of
talk over these books and it develop
ed that. nearly all the .Democrats had
bought them, while from such goodold
Republicans as Uncle Joe came
suggestions thst "the gentlemen on
the other side are easy marks."
Whereupon Representative McCoy,
as serious as he was the day he undertook
to probe the expenditures in the
postofllce department, arose and addressed
Champ Clark:
"Mr. Speaker," he said, "as there
seem to be so many suckers in the
house, I move that the bill he referred
to the committee on merchant marine
and fisheries."
And, Speaker Clark, without a smile,
put the question, and the bouse voted
"Ave" 'with a roar.
This is only one instance of a great
many exhibitions of the New Jersey
representative's dry humor. He Is always
so extremely serious that his
humor has every appearance of being
unconscious. This of course adds to
its effectiveness.
_ n r\ .1
^uermoit urew tne Line
time,' he explained, sympathetically.
"Now I wanted this man's friendship,
hut I simply could not go the
snakes. I have heard that snakes
could be found in things handed over
the bar, but this was a little too realistic
for ir?e.
"I afterward learned that he turned
against me for refusing to take his
remedy and that he voted for my opponent;
but 1 think that it was asking
too much of a mazt to expect him to
drink itquor in which he can see.
snakes in advance."