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?*-' THE FORT MILL TIMES Publlahed Every Thursday. FORT MILL, 80UTH CAROLINA. England Is in acute need of elastic' window glass. However, as for hobble skirted women, how can sne expect to "win in a walk?" A Peruvian aviator proposes to fly over the Alps. In a Peruvian bark, probably. "Bashi-bazoukesses" may fit the crime, but It'B altogether too hard to pronounce. A Vienna astronomer says 218,000,000 tons of cosmic dust fulls on the earth every day. A Pennsylvania man has contracted 6mallpox from a roll of bank notes. But who's afraid? A professor of music says that there are 10.000.000 melodies. But of these, how many are original? Man needs a few more soft spots In his heart, says a western preacher. And a few less in his head. ?????????? A Chicago thief was kicked sense- | less by a woman the other day. She must have been a ballet dancer. A New Jersey man claims to hnve Invented a seamlesH coat as the result of a dream. It sounds like one. A St. Ijouis newspaperman bought twelve engagement rings in one year. ; Perhaps he believed in advertising. Hereafter, when dinner Is late, don't be too quick to blame wife or cook. Perhaps It was the postman. A French scientist says men get ! bald because they eat too much. Then why Is It that a dyspeptic usually Is bald? Paris husband who suspected his wife of Infidelity, cut off her nose. To keep her from nosing around, no doubt Pittsburg burglar fleelug with plunder was captured by a small boy with a toy pistol. It's the little things that count. A Texas undertaker has contracted to bury the county paupers at Mi cent each. Doing the work at pauper's prices. Inventing a "cure" for tuberculosis seems to be a heap ensier than convincing other specialists you have done It. A naturalist sayB that lobsters are becoming extinct. Hut. then, of course, naturalists do not hung out along Broadway. Chicago violinist attacked a burglar, rendered him unconscious, and turned him over to the police. Wonder what , uu jimvi'u ( / Moving picture theaters are proving Immensely popular In Mexico. Probably those western and Mexican films manufactured on Long Island are shown to the surprise of the natives. The Chinese have adopted our calendar. It would not be at all surprising In the oriental rush for occidental reforms to hear of the Celestials falling eager victims to the trading stump habit. Le Due de Mal-a-Merte, who Is also IjO Comte Cnrll dl Mombercalli, was halted by federal examiners because of a swollen face. After he had disgorged his names he was allowed to enter the country. A $5,000 prize ofTored In Kngland for the best mine lamp has been divided between nine inventors. Sounds like a Joke. A Mississippi man has named all bis daughters after flowers. He all right If they don't fade before they y are murried. [ ? A Pittsburgh criminal got out of priBon with no other aid than a button hook. A woman could have done It with a hairpin. A San Francisco doctor replaced a j dog's knee Joint with a silver, diamond ' atudded hinge. Now watch the dog catchers get busy. "Mme. Bernhardt Is an artist," remarks one critic, "and can ploy any role except Falstaff." It would be mighty Interesting to see her doing lit- j tie Eva. wouldn't It? jp; Automobiles killed 142 persons In New York during 1912, while wagons killed 172 people. Which only goes to ; show that New Yorkers are more expert dodging automobiles. Danish professor says that tears are ntlaont In anil rtuatmu mU./.K.. * ? I W >?IV,IUU<SB. A II answer to: "Tears. Idle tears, 1 know not what they mean." Kansas State college has a course to teach 1.000 girl students how to be good wives. Positions are not guaranteed graduates, however. i Gentlemen and ladles who acquire 1 chilblains through exclusive devotion | to semi-transparent silk hose have Pp themselves to thank for subsequent % # MAN OFJUSINESS But His Methods Were Bad, and Then Love's Young Dream Comes True. BY SELINA ELIZABETH HIGGINS. "Don't stand in your own light, Hilda. Mr. Armitage is a rising man of business, and many a girl would consider herself lucky to receive the attentions he haB shown vou." "Mother, his attentions are more than distasteful to me. 1 cannot bear to even have him speak to me." "There are a good many reasons why you should encourage him," declared Hilda Mason's stepmother. The girl's lips closed tightly. A worried, anxious look came over her face. She put on her wraps and left her humble home for her daily work. The worldly advice of her stepmother had made little impression upon Hilda. Mr. James Armitage was practically her employer. He was in full charge of the silk factory of Meserve & Co., one of several operated by that wealthy firm. Hilda's father had been engineer of the plant half his life time. Her brother, Bob. was in charge of the shipping room. A smaller brother w.\s errand boy In the office. Hilda had light agreeable work in the sample department. It was only recently that the Masons had felt that prospects were brightening for them. A strike, 6ickncB8, the failure of a bank carrying away their savings, had brought about a hard experience. Now, with all hands at work, the future looked encouraging. Armltago hud come to the plant about a year previous. From the first Hilda had felt repelled by him. He had a hard, cynical face. He was pitiless in his exactions with the workers. He was a widower, and Hilda had heard that his wife had died of a broken heart. Armitago had seemed to take a fancy to Hilda, ub the thoughtless Mrs. Mason put it In her shallow way. When on two occasions recently he Had asked permission to take Hilda to places of entertainment, she had not enjoyed his company, and wan glad to get home again. "I wouldn't wipe my shoes on the wretch," a discharged office girl told Hilda, meeting her on the street. "He is a snake, a tyrant. He discharged =4 D pi { wmm ' Armltage Slunk From the Room. tne out of sheer meanness. ami all the girls deBpise him. One good thing? he won't be here long." "Why not?" askod Hilda. "I Hhun't tell you, but you'll Bee. I do hope you are not falling in love with him." till J.. ? A i - J J *? A' niiuu prijienieu lnuignnniiy. ?ne evaded Armitage, and twice when he called managed to be out of the way. Henco her stepmother's advice. A new interest cams into the life of Hilda one day. Armitage passed through the sample department accomparied by a bright-faced athletic young man. The latter seemed interested in everything ho saw. Something about the neat graceful Hilda held his glance. She noticed it and flushed, but his look was so pleasant she could not feel offended. "He is a Mr. Harold Macy," a companion told Hilda. "He hau come well recommended to Mr. Armitage, and is going to be a kind of an overseer." Armitage was absent for several days inspecting another mill. It was a happy week for Hilda. The new employe passed through her department frequently. From the first he hud a pleasant word for her. Then he began to question her about her work and its details. One evening he was strolling past her homo when he met her. There was a band concert going on in the public square. The young man asked for her company there. Both enjoyed the concert. Mrs. Mason gave Hilda a great lecture when she got home. "Spoiling her chances," "out of respect for Mr. Armitage," were some of the pointed phrases she used. Rut Hilda could not help thinking of the manly young fellow whose bright natural ways had opened a new chapter in the book ol her young life. A few evenings later young Macy called at the Mason home. But for the glum looks of Mrs. Mason, it was a second happy occasion for Hilda. It rnHun n?r nappier sun wnon snc fancied she noted something in hie eyes, that told he was thinking of hei with a warmer sentiment than of stm pie friendship. Armitage, returned, came Into the nttfiK&lMflfcafhSki l* .i&l . v\ -A . V * room where she sat at work next morning. He was pale and stern looking. He forced a smile, as if asking a welcome. Hilda reluctantly touched the hand he extended. He tried to retain it, but she arose to her feet. "I beard of your having quite a social time during my absence," insinuated the manager. "Hilda," and be came a step nearer, and bis eyes bad an eager, sinister glow, "the time has come when circumstances force me to reveal my feelings towards you. I have spoken to your mother; 1 wish you to become my wife." "Oh, Mr. Armltage!" breathed Hilda tremulously. "You must not?that is, I cannot?cannot ever marry you." "Because, I suppose," sneered the manager with a dark scowl, "you have taken up with this new employe, Macy ?" It was coarsely said. Words and manner were offensive. Hilda bridled. "Mr. Armitage Is a gentleman and a dear friend of mine," she said staunchly, as though defending him from aspersion. "He shall not remain here long to crosB my path!" cried Armitage savagely. "Come, Hilda, be reasonable," he added in a pleading tone. "At least consider my appeal. I truly love you. I can give you comfort, luxury, a social position far beyond your own." He could not but note firm denial in her eyes; more than that, positive aversion. It maddened him. Armitage sprang towards Hilda and threw an arm uround her. "You shall become my wife," he rriPfl "I nm not naorl fn holniy ornoooH in my plans. Girl, do you understand that I hold the welfnre of your family in my hands? I can turn you and your father and brothers out of your positions. Only love me, and they shall be well taken care of." In an excess of emotion the manager attempted to' "kiss Hilda. With a scream she beat his face with both her hands. "That will do," spoke a calm but masterful voice, and Armitage was hurled to the other end of the room. "You!" panted the manager, recognizing young Macy, his eyes blazing with fury. "You are discharged from my employ. Out of here at once, or I will have you thrown out," "Your employ?" repeated young Macy. "My man, I advise you to get to the office and be ready for an accounting. which will be demanded of you by my futher, the owner of this business. I have telegraphed him, and he will be here tomorrow. A dis charged girl employe gave us a hint of your double dealings in dividing sales profits with our clients. 1 came here under an assumed name to get the details. My correct name 1b Victor Meserve." L.ike the craven he was. Armitage slunk from the room. With a slight twinkle in his eye. young Meserve turned to the astonished Hilda. "Miss Mason?Hilda," he said, "judging from whut you just told that man, you intend to remain a spinster. Still, recalling your kind words about myself, I must hope that you will allow me one favor." "What?what Is it?" faltered Hilda, red as a rose. "To ask your parents if we may become engaged," was the earnest reply, and Hilda did not say him nay. (Copyright, 1913, by W. G. Chapman.) Turkey Stuffer. "These scratches on my face," he said, "don't indicate that I am unhappily married. They indicate that 1 am a turkey stuffer. "High grade turkeys are brought up to the proper degree of corpulence by hand stuffing. That is where I come in. With a short cane I stuff their food down their throats twice daily. They object to this. They expostulate with beak and claw. Hence these scratches. "What do we stuff our high grade turkeys with? Well, their morning meal is ground pea flour and olive oil. Their evening meal is wheat boiled in milk. Sometimes, for a prominent millionaire, we stuff our turkeys exclusively with chestnuts boiled in milk. You'd hardly believe what a delicious nutty flavor this gives. "Hut it's hard work, the work of a turkey stuffer. Your assistant holds the bird's legs; you hold its head with one hand while you thrust the food into its mouth with the other, and then you shove the bolus down where it belongs with a short cane. The turkey gives you many a nip. many a scratch, during this forcible feeding. A turkey stuffer's Job is no sinecure." Improving Under Difficulties. Few cities are doing as much building as Buenos Aires, easily the largest center of population south of the equator and the fourth city of the western hemisphere, but such work goes on under difficulties in that part of South America. The iron, steel 1 and cement are Imported, chiefly from England, Germany and France, with I some from the United States. The pine and spruce lumber used comes from this country and Canada. Sand is brought across the wide estuary of tho I^a Plata from Uruguay, because it !s very scarce in Argent ia. SomeI times bricks are ground up and used as a substitute for sand. Tiles for floorp nnd roofs are imported from France und Belgium. Most of the ' plumbing and builders' hardware comes from Great Britain, a llttlo being imported from the United States. i And thousands of buildings are rushed . up every year in a booming citv under these conditions. i ' i Instruction ends in the schoolroom. bnt education ends only with life, and education Is to unfold nature; to strengthen good and conquer evil; to i give self help.?F. W. Robertson. \ 11,000,000 FOUND WHEN MR DIES Vast Fortune of Frugal Toiler in Safety Vault. PIPE IS ONLY LUXURY Tilled Soil in Homespun for Years While Standard Oil Stocks. Bonds, and Stocks in Banks Lay Gaining In Value Each Year. Oregon, 111.?A frugal, simple, old farmer lived for 60 years in Ogle county. Illinois, and tilled his farm unassumingly, Then he died, leaving no will or Information regarding his relatives. More than $1,000,000 in securities lay during a large part ot those 60 years in a safe deposit vault of a Chicago bank in his name, and he never came to look at them, showing no Interest in them, apparently other than enough to keep rental on his deposit box paid. And not until neighbors had themselves appointed administrators and thus uwukened Interest in his estate did an attorney he had known for | years gain knowledge that the man i who owned the securities and the simi pie farmer were the same, j David 11. Wilson was the farmer He tilled the soil in homespun, years I ago, and latterly in blue jeans, as did | his neighbors. He never found hlm1 self able, he said, to luy aside the care of his farm and take comfort in life, i Ills one friend was his corncob pipe, and his one luxury," as he termed it, was the purchase, each spring, of a 1 new one. This, while in the deposit vault. Standard Oil stocks, bonds, stocks in Chicago and Oregon banks and in railroads, lay gaining each year in value. At the end, when death came to him, tho stocks had climbed in value till | they represented more than a million uuimra. Unique in court record Ih the manner In which the great wealth of the simple-lived farmer came to be discovered. Neighbors who had cared for him had themselves appointed administrators, as 'distant relatives," it 1b said. Harry A. Smith, attorney, former mayor of Oregon, and one of the few who had broken through the farmer's reserve and had become something of a friend, heard of relatives in Canada. K C innnflftfM i Tilled the Soil in Homespun. and looked them up He identified [ them and had himaelf appointed ad mlnistrator. States tax agents started on the trail of rumors that the old man, who had lived alone, as are supposed to be all men living the life of a recluse, of "fabulous wealth." They found receipts for a safe deposit box In Chicago. Therein lay Standard Oil stockH that since their purchase had risen In market value more than f>00 points; there were stocks of Chicago banks now away above pur with thousands in accrued dividends, and bonds with accrued Inj terest. Stocks In railroads were I found with their years of unpartaken ; protlts and several securities were I listed which hod been the subject of ! "stock melons" meanwhile, making l them doubly valuable. Mr. Smith has notified the Canadian relatives, nnd the estate .has been reopened for probate while search is made for other possible heirs. The | first administrator's bond filed by j W. Smith was for $50,000, but by reai son of the gold lined box found in the J recluse's name in a Chicago hank this i had been raised to $1,500,000, issued by a Chicago agency. "Jelly Fish Wobble" Barred. Indiana. Pa.?Expulsion faces stu i ~ unim ov IIIC 1I1UIHI111 .Normal SCIIOOI who dance the "jelly fish wobble." and other modern dances, is a ruling of , Mlsa Jane n. Leonard, preceptress. Anti-Tipping Crusade. Rerlin?Germany has started an anti-tlpplng crusade by discontinuing thd custom of giving street cur conductors a pfenning gratuity for making change. Has Eight Grand Parents. Chicago.?A ten-pound boy born to Mr. and Mrs. Reyburn Post of I.* Grange boasts of eight grand parents . . % _______ V , An Old-Fashioned Car 01 JlSSS WVSHINGTON.?The electric car, ! or better, the electrified car, that ; i uiis back and forth across the t'ennsylvania avenue bridge and for some distance up Pennsylvania avenue exj tended, is a relic. When you enter this car you note that it is only half as large, or a fourth as large, as the average run of the heavy and noisy cars on the main lines. There are only six windows on each side of this little car, and a low bench or side seat runs along ench Hide of the car. This seat is covered with red carpet. That looks old-faHhioned and homelike. But you note also that a group of incandescent lamps glow In the low ceiling of the car. that electric push buttons are in the window frames and that the usual electric traction devices are on the platforms. Finally your glance hits an opening "Biscuits Is Biscuits" Is WHAT is a biscuit? There has been an impression abroad that "biscuits is biscuits," and that that let . them out. but German customs ofllcials have found a biscuit is: "A fine baker's product, sweetened and flavored, and should, therefore, come under a particular heading for import duty." And, in consequence of this epicurean definition, importers of American biscuits in the Fatherland are forced to pay a prohibitive duty. So high has this duty been set that one importer has made a protest to Ainbasj rador G. A. Irishman at Ilerlin that ! the matter be taken up by the state department. Many weighty problems have left , their indent on the massive brows of the skippers of our ship of state. Hut I I_.?* -? ? - i iuc mit-ei pruuiem 18 Olie tliat Will force them to get down on their knees and scrub out the cellars of their intellects. "What is beer?" "VVhnt is a Democrat?" "What is whisky?"?they have all been answered. Hut now comes a proposition of preponderant pourousness, and It is up to the state 1 department officials either to substan! time the good old Century dictionWhite House Housekeepe WINERS and diners at the capital UfVi r\ nro fnrnl t R 5 n " "w huuu lu out and have palates hard to please, are beaming because Mrs. Woodrow Wilson has retained Mrs. A. J. JafTray, : the Canadian woman who for the past four years has served as housekeeper i at the White House. Few if any of Mrs. Jaffray's admirers know her personally It's her j works that have won her name and fame. Tlio presiding genius of the interminable series of feats which murked the progress of the Taft administration, Mrs. J affray has earned a j place in history. The cusine of the Taft regime has become famous for Highwayman, Dressed a TWO highwaymen, one attired as a stylish young woman, held up | John Mcl-ain of 110X Florida avenue Northeast, he told the police of the ^ Ninth precinct the otheV night, and ! at the point of a revolver demanded his cash and Jewelry. Ale I.a in was going to his Jiome, when he was accosted at Montello avenue ano Morse street iNortneast by two men, one dressed Jn woman's clothes. Roth had their faces smear ed with lampblack. The one in man's clothes pointed a revolver at McLnin. and demanded his money. He only had 25 cents, so the highwayman took that, and pointing his revolver at McJ-jtin told him to "beat It." McLatn ! did. Hastily turning a corner, he met Policeman Steele about to mount the steps of the Ninth precinct station. "There's a couple of hold-ups down the street." he yelled at Steele. The bluecoat spied the pair about four blocks away and atarted after them on the double-quick. Tho two heard hla footsteps and vanished around a corner. No mors was seen of them. .V J fr \* ' I n Pennsylvania Avenue In the middle of each door. In this opening works a brass slide. As. you have it; through that opening in cold or in rainy weather you would hand a quarter to the driver, and putting your lips close to the opening, would say, "Tickets" or "Change." The driver would open a long tin box attached either to the dash of the car or to his belt and would pass back to you through the opening a little envelope on which was printed either "Tickets" or "25 Cents." You would tear the | end off the little envelope and. taking out a ticket or a nickel, would drop It in a tall box of wood and glass on the right-hand side of the door. The driver?from the outside of course? would look into the box, and seeing that you had deposited your fare, would pull a string and the nickel or the ticket would drop out of sight into the base of the box. You know now that you are on board one of the old horse cars.' Having the ticket slot in the door at bsth ends, shows that It was of a later period than the bob-tailed car with the luuuuvti ucu>u in ironi ano me iunny little step behind?the car that was turned round on a turntable at the end of the route. Still you know that that old car has made many trips In this town. the Impression Abroad ary. or to agree in the German version. The Century dictionary gives, this press notice on biscuits: "A kind of hard, dry broad, consisting of flour, water, or milk, and salt, and baked in thin, flat cakes. Thename is also extended to similar ar- * tides very variously made und flavored. See cracker." The Gorman importers of American biscuits say that our biscuitB ought toI be classed as "Einfaches backwerk," I and taxed accordingly. The state department hasn't heard from Ambassador Letshman yet. but expects to at any time, and officials* are getting rca<ly for an international tussle over the dictionary. They may ask a counter-question: "What is a pretrel?" r Wins Name and Fame its excellence and the ninnner of fetegiving at the White House is the envy of the smartest hosts at the capital. Multimillionaires who pay their chefs $10,000 yearly are not able to match the product of the White House kitchens and millionairesses who have aimed to make good by living up to the maximum "that the way to a man'sheart is through his stomach." cast envious eyes upon the way things are done at the home of the president. Caterers who previous to the coming of Mrs. Taft had found the White House their best patron, bewailed the lost trade. N'o mutter- Vmw irtl their wares they had no sale at the \ White House, where Mrs. Jaffray's management made it possible for "home cooking" to hold the boards against all comers. The biggest fete . planned, as for instance the silver wedding celebration of the President, and Mrs. Taft, as well as the tiniest / luncheon served, were provided for down in the big White House kitchens. It was all done so easily that 1 it looked like child's play . s Woman, Aids in Hold-Un 7 I Before they disappeared, however. Policeman Steele saw the "woman" pick up "her" skirts and do 100 yards In ahout ten Hat. I'nderneath the ^ skirts "she" had on a serviceable pair of trousers. Mcl.ain expressed doubt as to his ability to identify the pair should they be arrested. He said the lampblack they had on their faces made it difficult to remember their features. In addition, the beskirted member of the j team had on a heavy veil. A blue broadcloth suit, furs and muff, tan shoes, and a big black picture hat comprised the attire of th? ...k? . - -? ? - ? u??v n uw lliaB^UCinum HH |& woman. The police are wondering Just what the game was.