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r WHAT A OOAT TAIL DID. To a law Abiding Citizen Who \Vns Making Himself Generally Useful. Gideon Woodruff,of Capner Street, was limping around these streets Inst week?-and Is at It yet?liken hero of many battles. His foot had met with strange adventure. It seems that Gideon arose beforo breakfast on Monday of last week, and taking tho bint that a pan of ashes would look neater on tho dump In the garden, resolved to carry It out. Before starting out o' doors In tho cold uud darkness, however, he reached for his overcoat, meaning to throw It over his shoulders. In so dolnir. the tall of thn coat caught the snout of a pot of boiling coffee on the kitchen rango, bringing It down upon one of Otdeon'a feet?the othor not being convenient. The scalding fluid had plenty of "pea room," bo to Rpeak, for "Old" had only his slippers on, and the foot was badly burned. For a time there was "music" and dancing In that home, although the hour was unseemly?and In the exciting festivities of the hour the ash pan on the hearth was forgotten.?Democrat-Advertiser. The Important (Question. "Charles asked mo the all-Important question last night," said Clara. | "What?a proposal?" "Oh, heavens, no. Ho wanted to I know If I would like the uso of his anto while he was away this sum- | mer." "And what about the other ques- i tlon?" "Oh, that will come; hut I felt uncertain about the auto."?Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. The Worm Turns. Garrulous Acquaintance ? Aren't you Bometlnies afraid a day will come when you will have written >o\irself Out and will have to quit and go at something elso for a living? Bonis (struggling author)?My dear sir, such an Idea Is wholly fallacious. You have been talking for fifty years, and you haven't talked yourself out yet, have you??Chic.a0O Tribune. Hank Heresy. "T sometimes think," said Deacon Ironsides, "wo Hhall have to summon Brother Hardosty beforo the church board." "What is the trouble with Brother Hurdeety?" asked Kldor Keopnlong. "He is finding fault with the plan | Of creation. He says there are too many carp and dogfish and too few black hnflM." rhliMiirn Tflhnn? Impossible SaxKt'si l?n. Doctor?Don't spend any more money on medicine! The quickest way for you to got fat la to havo a contented mind. The Patient?That may all be, but medicines are cheaper. 1 couldn't got a contented mind for lean than a million dollars, and I haven't got the prlco!?Detroit Free Press. , So Different. Uncle Wlnthrop?And what do you deslro to bo whon you have become a man, Emersle? Whon I was your ago. I wanted to be a pirate. Emerson Lowell Backbelgh?The aspirations of modern youth are so dtfferont, unclo. Now 1 should like to be a promoter.?Puck. Word From Hr'er Williams. Don't think de world's gwino tor turn roun' tor look at you; Ue best thing you kin do Is ter keep up wid . de world. Try ez you will you can't take up do sunshine, an' you won't find no i Happiness lu standln' In anybody's light.?Atlanta Constitution. The Hurtling Hug. Alice rushed In from the garden. ' whero she had been picking flowers. She was badly stung by a bee, and was holding on to her finger and sobbing pitifully. "Oh, mamma," sho cried. "I burned mo on a bug!"?Brooklyn Life. The Bride's Task. Mr. Newlywed?Now that we're married, dear, you have a serious tank before you. Mrs. Newlywed ? What's thut, j Tom ? Mr. Newlywed?You must provo to my sisters that you are worthy of mo.?Philadelphia Ledger Helping Him Out. Mr. Tliumld?You are going to be ??er?marriod, I hear. Miss Lovott?1 sincerely hope to be. Mr. Tlnimld?When, may I nak? Miss Lovett (desperately)?You may ask me now If you really care tor me.?Philadelphia Ledger. Confidence and Uncertainty. "Thuro are two kiuds of automobile face." "For Instance?" " i no ruco a man wears In his own niRchlno and the face ho wears when he rldos with another man."? Brooklyn Life. Vetoed. Mrs. Subbubs?Wo really ought to have ono of thoso burglar alarms put In. Mr. Hubbubs?Whnt! nnd have the thing go off at night and wake the baby! No. ma'am, not much. When Benny Hutted In. Mother ? Henry says you slapped him and threw him out of the nursery. Bertie-?Well, I'm building a pence palace, aad he kept buttln' In.?San Franclaco Nowe Letter. i NO CAUSE FOR ALARM. The Old Lady Was Able to Manege the Horse. There were severnl people In the shop when the stranger entered, and so he addressed them at large. "Any of you drive up here In a trap?" "Yes," Fald Farmer Crabbo. "I did. Why?" "An old gray horse in the trap?" "Yes; but?" "And nu elderly lady on tho scat?" "Thut's right; but?" a r>u |'i-uoo out; wau ixiuiiiigu inai old horse?" "Rather! I should Just think she could. Why, she's drove him sluce he \. as a two year old." "Oh," suld the stranger, "then It's all right. I merely a.ske:l beeauso tho gray has started up the street like a scarllled mad bullock, nnd tho old lady's hanging on the back of the trap, screaming 'Murder!' Still, If sho can manage him, of course, there's no uso of getting excited over It. How's the price of tntem down your way?" ? Birmingham (England ) Post. Museum Muses. Mnnnger?What do you think of tho rough house that "The Bearded Woman" created last night? Tho Skeleton?I'm surprised. I always thought ho was a perfoct lady. Courtship nml the Camera. He was pleased?or, as he expressed It, rapturously delighted? with the beautiful features portrayed on a photograph th<* lady had just given him. "Some day," said ho, "I shall, wi?h your permission, plead for tho lovely original." "Oh, Ernest," the maid replied, "I really could not find it In my heart to elve von the neirnttvn " "Are you positive?" he asked. Then the love on both sides having been found to be fully developed, the date was fixed, and the couple are now toned down in a Loudon Hut.? The Taller. A Youthful Agnssiz. "And what did try little dnrllnt lo In school to-dn.v?" a Chicago mother asked of her young son?a "sec >nd grader." "Wo had nature study, and it was my turn to bring u specimen," said Evan. "That was nice. What did von do?" "I brought a cockroach in a bottle, and I told L at her we had lots more, and If she wanted 1 could bring one every day."? Youth's Companion. A lienuukahle Child. Flatbush was telling me about his young son. Gotham?I shouldn't think you'd have the patience to listen to him "Oh. yea. I did. I)o you know he'a a most remarkable child." "Of course; they ull are." "Hut this child is remarkable. Flntbush himself says he never did anything worth speaking about."? Youkors Statesman. Itcnllsm, us 1'suhI. Fond Mamma?Gracious! What's thnt noise In the nursery? Nurse (entering hurriedly)?The children, mum, have hern plnving nntymobilo, mum. And Master Tommy hns Just taken a big firecracker and exploded It under the oiin} iu uiiiKi' u:i uuiynioDiie explosion. mum.?Brooklyn IUfe. Xiii*"rtH from GrcirRla. Trouhlt never comes to stay; but If he only stays teu minutes, It's just that much too lone! It. won't do to wiiit for the wn, on. The wise man meets it half way down the roud. The man who whistles on tho way makes tho whole world feel like dancing.? Atlanta Constitution. Pointed Paragraphs. You can't always tell?unless you are a woman. A stilT upper Up doesn't amount to much if the lower Jaw Is too Umber. A pessimist's Mfo Is seldom as groat a hurden to him as it Is to his neighbors.?Chicago News. Not Quite. "What a beautiful new public building," exclaimed the visitor, "and it's almost completed, Isn t it?" "No," replied tho citizen; "It looks like it is completed, but they haven't exceeded the appropriation jot. ?inuiuun[ioiia ouir. Limitations of Mero Machinery. The irritable employer turned to bis typist with h sudden snarl. "Why don't j >u write it Just as I Mty it?" he demanded . "Because my typewriter hasn't the catarrh," she quietly responded. ?Cleveland Plain Dealer. Lv'i.i ..A:-,.. I # | A GENTLE HINT. Which Caused the Unsuspecting to Take Ills Departure. The uncouth Individual had decorated the car lloor with amber. "Excuse me," said the stranger in the next seat, "but did you ever visit tho stockyards?" "Believo I have," replied the oths er, chewing vigorously. "Ever ?,o In tho rooms where tlioy make lard?" "Yep." "Well, you should have remained there." I "What for?" "Because that Is tho place where they refine hogs." And th uncouth Individual moved toward tho door. A Slight PlfTerenoc. "John, raid the devoted wife, "yon told ne that there was a photograph ov r the way that reminded >ou so much of me." "Did I?" asked John. "Yes. Eon't you remember? Well, I was over there to-rinv nnil I ill .-l n't sec any photograph that looked tho least bit like ine. Was it In an albu in?" "Photorraph! My dear, I said a phonoyrai !i."?Modern Society. i Sun:e Ohl Story. Enpeck was dining at tho home of a friend. ' "Will you have some cl tho tongue?" \slced the hostess, j "No, thank you," replied Enpeck; I "1 get too much of that at home."?? Judy. Plausible. Miss El "erbv- f o you really think that women propose? Olclhach.?If they don't, there aro a great many marriages I cannot account for.?Fun. Foggy in London. "So you were In London, ch? IIoW did you ftr.d the weather there?" "1 dldn'c have to llnd It It came and hunt' J me up and surrounded ; me In chunks.--Philadelphia Ledger. The Wise M. l>. Hushnn - -The doctor told me I must go to a "rest-euro." Wife?Old he look at yourtonguo? Ilusban.l No. 1 told him about ! yours.?J * 'v. The Idea. "I don' like the way every man we meet stares at you, Eihol." "Well, you don't expect them to 1 stare at you, surely, ma!"?Tit-llita. Perhaps It Is True. "It seems to me your wife ought to do the cooking instead of employ| lag a cook." "Possibly she 'oves me too well, mother."? Houston Post. , No Hurry. Poppy?Pr.h Jove, I think you oupht to apologize for calling me a ! calf. j Pose- 1 will. Peggy?When? Pose- Wait till I moot the calf unrt I will. Modern Life. She?la It true that your brother la going to remarry his divorced wife? He?Yea. He became ho well acquainted with lier during the divorce trial *hnt he fell in love with her. Translated for T .les from Fllegeude i Blutter. I'nibreiln Clearing House. Slst'T WllV. John* flnino ? church, ami It's raining, too? Dear ' mo! you haven't gono for years. John?Yes. You see, somo one ox! changed umbrellas with me yester day. and I'm going to swap this ono for something choice. No 1'se to Them. She?I'm told this play was taken from the French. Ho- -Well, I'll bet the French gave It tip without a struggle.?Uluck ami White. lioslng Strength. "An' how'a ycr wife, Pat?" "Sure., she do be awful sick." "Is ut dangerous she Is?" "No, she's too weak t' be dangerous any more!"?Cleveland LeaderThe illter IHt. "Is It customary to tip the waiter In this place?" "Wh; -ah?yes, sir." "Theu hand me a tip. I've waited three-quarters of an hour for that steak I ordered."?Cleveland Leader. No Choice. Ted?Do you think that old millionaire will do auy good with Ills money? 1 Ked?Ho'll have to. He has six marriageable daughters. ? Illustrated Bits. NOTICE, . Notice is hereby jriven that the ft*. I visions of un ordinance relating t. the running at large of cows horses, hogs and other neat aninmls will hereafter be strictly enforced, aud ( hut all violators may expect to pay the penalty prvscribed in said ordinance By order of council this 9th of February, 1900. A. R. McKlhanoy, Clerk. When in the Market! FOR GOOD WHISKIES, WINES, BRANDIES, ETC., CALL ON OR WRITE -JolT-T") 1\T037^1?. IV. 1 , - 1>. Kj. | ^HftleDoctor cives you a complete treatment at our store for 25 etc. His specialty is Liver Complaints, all kinds, and he guaranty .s satisfaction, cr money back. Ramon's L:vcr F1II3 ar.d Tonic Pellets make permanent cures. For sale by \V. 11. A id ivy A- Co. BO | i ;U N ? ? I I] a _ . I?* ?"?1 ii my \ ir so. R. > j <. ? I r-Licc your f ) ?!-*- *-, or I ,. ? " i next order i> in | hH" i . ! kcov?:<! a i liA^ 5 T?FTi-n l\ J ii I Vu4 u 1 Ll J f i i r I P ; way 01 ; i^'fcbury, >:. C U l ^ PI ion: 243. | J gCOU 125 E. Council St j j" " J 7 7 ^ "JT t <r i >r> .-*? <r* ; uvuciks? j - . -*i-. r^-a- rr rrrrrnrc^as^." es?a i ^Irnci) v;^ - ' ' s ir, , " " >/- ""'*v P SiPW/.- v?/ J . .;?r-;, x y | ' ' ** >?-a ? f*W '? SVVr": ^**98^ $. f ^ ??.* vV' on YO?;?< hunt?ua trui? n-?>,*< i > i ? I'fM i -. I- u?*? i' sir. v. | ?? - ' ' | rTFIES . . Ir.-uS". . ~x.,i$x OCJ , i'MTOl.S . f". n - iii; :o 60 O 5 f-IlO'lGl'IiS . ' r.j'.'i 1 TO 10 S5 00 j A.Vy r ' .Iff < " .< .*. I r?n? r j? 1 .r 1 ? ? at'.. c- 1? tutor- K v . in:t. ? t 1 . ? t ! 1t. M! >??TIN?, )?. j ?] t ,r<- '. i v ;? .1st !? ! } f * r t.i i? r v ?. ?; ; ?. r? r In $utiri| i 10 9 . V .... Jin e. I . ..? . r. ' Our attn 'ive .1. r A i i !fi * All i c | rnt.f ( < . ?l J. RTiiVZ." i -AnMS J> V > TOOL CO., 1 P. O. Il.it 4 <A |_ LC'iiCoi'O, F.ib*. M '.s? ir *?. A. WW-?? - ? f *is *m-irxz ^x .xvbjxcpt l: ?;.si crrM) | K:LJLw?C033GH $ |?kd CURE TI R I UNCSj f \ ?,? ' & T g w;th Ij if ( A b ?. ** M ^ # ui tj f. i 41 * ' ^ w, ?\p ' ?? < " nif a "j Si k J Lri '\Jf J ii J ^ I ___ /CONSUMPTION P.b? S .;n- sji.OO 9 }jj .:.>c ir.at. p ^ S>.' ? ; f Ml 1 th:: ja'l .. .v. * ira.oaa. a j XJE3, or JACK g Ti""' :?' IF YOU W ANT -To buy, rent sell or oxclmnw unythiiitf, p n?**? n "want" ad. in 'i Uo limes. . thrco liues. ? nf nnrahlfi Pain 1 f A Painless Cure i fej Never resign yourself to P pains are curable. They a pt conditions of the female o ??] promptly attended to or daiij p> tk MM A OP1011 ' ? n IT CGME3 TO v/< f4j| ^dienever sho suffers from soy cf v/c [vJ It r.ot only compels the pains to s".c toH the cause of the pains, v/hich prove R>j| It makes vou Trv it. fe] Sold ever/w! ..c in $1.C3 bo"J ^ WRITE US A LETT211 Jct< freely a:td frankly, in strictest confn!ence, telling us ail your symptoms naJ gj, troubles. We will send free advice Pr? (in pla'n s. aled c ivelope;, h< w to cure them. Address: Ladies' Advisory Efe Dept.. Til. Chattanooga Medicine Co., ti). Clu uinooga, Teun. | (Cabbage Plant 5 Thavo had seveml years oxporionce in ?1 | ami imw liavo ready I'm* shipn eon Kui I : <;( Typ -Wain-fields, Ilendersnii l-necr I varieties to oxperion oil tnu U farnterr ' f water in open air. Wi'l stoml severe < ii if in iiii'u! l?o\? s. F. (>. II. hero, $! dip-i* 1 rial prioos mi larjro onk rs The oxqr rati'Son plants this sc asoti. All plants v pro for to s.tnd the money with t ho or dor. and porsimal attention. Give me a trial li. J. nr>w v/x~, -c, tAio-ir ?> 01 n u ? fsFilifr Eppol Pc r-1'fil! Fvsr* Promise and U? M l*""u tMSiC StvU'turo mtip'Ut the huli kj * \m tlVflo r',lu "r it?ti-uaun from ki M cured avfor to ruturu, uulio. t mercury ? W r V Rorl'iiilUvtiyi 'A \ Tno Dr. Ring Modi /C Iiovm <>f tor mate "f \M /?'.'?? 4T -V l-erroua total chronic ' a /^r. ? ? > \ WsUlntlnn. I? th f?l ky.AAf/ \ Pv??UBofcnttf..t I /T&* Otimti roi< In the | * ** t get: we use both inn' i V."-' iS . j Our others ere e>iul 1 ] tfT let, X-mj, tlolrt *?< > V conirlrmtce known u ^ * I it- dura id every rn ' . ) ti . 'ti?l total i A x. ri~ sial licensed pbytolrlfl / >\ -"tsw \V> ? nloloy no ni ' * \ ^ l*>.-7fTyTs? pnlrortto^e -noC. O. V Y- ' \i ' tiythi lie* ut ton O \ \ -, ^ to flO.OO per niontl i *-** '-u. u i V r.uceut n e.irt* with! :;ya-srrir;mc is. GK!i3M!SDir>? " W^UUDotfrfiS 'Vup.tme. H vK UE.TiLCEJQILD r"ifl?r t ?-.?-?. Tuner* r ri.iut-JUJ. ^ f s<i Tnrott, il'-n.l m. k. kinq, IA d. cii>miii? ula." t * * *? Cjvtjnitii Phvs'oian. r*?.\Uiir?l n sell tr?r . t ?T. *.. us 1 j u?y reRtot'iott j 'ur cana Mutt 1 s . to 01, ! jro.t pur l.ie.ivture, iraluui.; *v ? t U:M T.A iloN, J XAUG/.TI is 1/ fuort gat?w%? j. 3 No. 1 * . ^rrrwmiwwMKTCT fM?^HiS^SISiS[ErB!lil- [lijl 1 SOUTHERN l *?rl | THE S3UTH'S GR! ; (El ^ij I iioxrt'licil Dining Cur Serv , 52! ('onvenient Schedules oh all i qij | rki- Through Pullman Sleeping ( Wintes Tourist Rates in KiT g . . I"or full information iih to rates, 1 iJ&j Southern Railway Ticket Ajjfe ''I CROOKS M*-MS, \>3 AG. P. A., Atlanta, Ga. IfSL _ ! ^TtBiSilv ?2SHiSl!5EI GUS !~5St jS>3? iSiSISlifls fi |JOB PRIN" :Si NEATLY hXE' ^ Tin: TiMi-s o y~} L J I <-to:lira ds.N >ethend* Rillhcuds, S J| Circulars, ISnvelopos, tftc. at the low zij work. 5" end us y> uv orders ami wo v fjj 'X'fcL.ggigl Si?i?i3s5iSJaiSJ@!Sit! OUR PRICE LIST. Combining good quality and low prices. Th" prices quoted below an guaranteed to be the lowest for quality of Goods: 1 year old Corn Whisky, per gallon $1.50 3 ? ? 1.73 ? .. ? ? 2.00 1 .. .. 2.25 5 ,, ,, Tar He -1 Corn Whiskey 8.00 1 ? ,, Good Hyo Whisky per gal 1.75 2 ? ? Goo I Rye Whisky " " 2.?k> 1} ,, ,, Good Rye Wh'sky " " 2.50 t ? (rood Rye *.Vi 1 y " " 13.00 5 ., t loo'l Rye Wle ky " " 4 00 Ko^liargo for vessel {tacking. 50c extra will pmjKiy expresA on one to Iliroe gallons, over 8 gallons, 7.5c. SHUUAN & GG^NY, SALIbiiUUV . . . - N c. I urid kj w; a s s Mi suffer pain. Women's W re the sign of dangerous II rgans, which should b? E porous results will follow. j| EE W j.?s\ VI w\ 4$%\ | q P i/u m II M$, 3MAIi'S RSUE? $ men's tit'.ng and v/e-kening pains, m \ but it 1 -llov.'s up ; r.d drives out P r.ts (rc..n coming b.ick. S< "WITHOUT A TAUi" ? writes A'ary 5h?;ltr?n, of Poplar Fff Blutt. jMo., " i cu.n do my housework, ffi although, before taking CARDUI, two B doctors haJ done rac no good. I can jj trui fully say I was cured by Caidui R*1 1 want every suffering lady to know of B this wonderful medicine." L :s For Sale. ;1 rowing ("abpn^eplants forMietrnde i ly .jersey Waketitdils, t hurlcston ' smiiiis, \\ hieti are (In best known Those plan's mv ^niwn mar salt (1 without injury. Prices, paekeil M)0. I ot s of s,o > i at $1 'do rer 1 .<?.>:?. v ess company is ^rivin^ us eh ap .ill he s.ipped It >. I), unless you Your orders -will have my prompt 1 iruer. Address all orders to DON \ LPSON. Me^retts, S. O. at Oar Patients. & v?r NcM Gut faUe f'.opas. H ?i urbuugiiuiiiil Vifrtci'ctl* n ihoat B| iwlit???i Cor>H|iliiu( Kinoil jffi ip mineral MUiurnj loan rtt Manly tJ 'nmil; lit) lit mutant t'iit p?ri??ni>i t. H ' ill Co U tin IneUtuMon orgatitied urdor tl?o ly . eors'a Xsr Ibc treatim-tit ami ourr ?-l s i |u it aa (.?. ?. Dr. N. K. K': " thr ToondAr ot p ? chief cnnsultiait specialist, beluH uasi&ted h nhyr'clitu.* and .urgoona. k treatment 01 chronic <1l.iiifii la unaurpa-v | Ileal and electrical ugrnclea. pped wl'U a I llie galvanic, faradtc batterr. n <1 I'lnca ray: In fact, every electrical n the in-uioal prof jeston. Ourrinltanutn 1* per', and we employ noun tiui the bust t attendurus. regularly quail Hod graduate* na bring tn charge. Uluadlog u i tun to tenure patient* and IVo or nim-ki'd for literature ar*scut Old ur l?ru'.? tor t ronton nl average from 16 Od ! medic! ei. Inc'ndod) aud we give the aosur n a e: ocltled''me. " A f;. C e euoceesfully font nodInenaiV- | tUuOl nrntty rurr *:1 cbr ule ?..?-irs nuil ItludUcr troubles. Rheuav.tpun, , rle. I?r-tltm. Lwnu. etc.. end nil Ft I wit o . I r.ia'.l.-rant trmblia. t'utairli of the a and I.i.i :re. Itlseasof ISjo and F. ir, 9 , t.f 't'vnron, Ku.'h as jitvplnceinctit.*. t| s, i.nd h uih arakieKri of wouu n. H I j o.i are .Il k or atSlc -d. On request we r..; ten 1 'n k? for hum* treatment. a >V AS l? Af'VtCirr WRKK - * flttanta, Ka.J '^.-T - : nsrrrmW sjui RAILWAY. 1 =n t ETTEST SYSTEM. j? if i Focal Trains. jjpl 'nrs on Ti.ro;: j*l? Trains. *el to Floiiilu Points. 1^ [a routes, etc., consult nearest Uq nt, or frH R. W, HURT, I D. ?. A, Charleston, S. C. 02 _ m MM [SfS't^EKMlMl} 1 1 J Ef5?J?P riNG | CLThl) AT p inch, a; ' fz Handbills, Posters, (pi ' a prices consistent with ^ood Ijq till please you. rd IS e> Times, p i5?iUranaf? iSfSSBlEi ' ?-a EXPERIENCE Copyrights Ac. Ant mo nendtnir n nkptrh and dr*rrlntl<in may qti'.i'lcly annort'iln <>tir <>i>lr>mn fret- wlinther nn Invi ntloti m i>rnl>ai>ly imu-tttnhle. t orn muni ration* ntrlctljr rnundontlal. Ilitixltxiok on 1'iitonts sent free. t tldnat a?ency for sertiruiK Pttenin. Patents liikcii fliroutrh Mutui ft Co. rccolvo tpsrinl notice, without cliariro, In tho . Scientific JEttsericatt. A bnndnori'ly tlln- r ''ad W"?i?V|r. I invert rireolation <if any m iuntilli' Journal. Term*. $.1 u year: four month*, <1. Sold liyall newsdealers. fiSUNN & Co."'"""'? New York Uliuicti OOice. tZii if St., Waablntflon, 1>. A. j.