Fort Mill times. (Fort Mill, S.C.) 1892-current, August 13, 1902, Image 4
WISHED HE HAD THE STORY BACK
Funny Tnto I.oit on Non-Appr?clatU?
Ucrmsa Andleaec.
t Col. Adolphus Buscb, who has been
doing some booming as a member of
the St. Louis Exposition exploiting
committee, tolls the following story:
"Last summer when I went to Europe
I took along my head brewer,
whose admiration for his adopted
country is only equaled by his desire
to appear thoroughly Americanized.
Together we visited his native town in
Germany, where ho was made much
of. Of course they had a 'kommers,'
and my companion took the oppor
n'niiy 10 endeavor to malto a speech
after thv. American style, but In the
German language, of course. He start-*
ed out boldly, though he 1b no public
speaker, and got Along fairly well until
ho attempted tho funny story which
ho knew should accompany every
American speech worthy the name. It
was funny, I assure you. as he told It,
but his hearers were too well-mannered
to laugh at tholr fellow-townsman,
and so It fell flat. Discouraged
and disgusted by this lack of appreciation
of American humor, he droppod
heavily into his chair, and, leaning
across tho table, whispered hoarsely;
to me:
" 'I'd gif ten tollars If dot story was
pack into mo.' "?New York Times.
, nrliiRO Whist In Washington.
What is known as tho "congressional
bridge whist ban" consists of
Speaker Henderson, Representative
Sherman of New Yor?, Representative
Metcalf of California and Representative
Powers of Maine. Tho memhera
' of the quartette aro carefully looking
over tho southern delegation for a
member with wealth and lack of
skill. "How does the record stand
geographically?" Mr. Powers was
asked tho other day. "Well, the
speaker is tuo greatest holder I ever
saw," he replied, "but the far east
Is not behind the game."
A?k Viuif llfntrr Cor Alien'* Font-K??f,
A |iowd<>r. It rests* the feet. Cures Corns.
I.'11 tiiiuis. Swolliui. Sore, Hot, Callous,Aching,
Swaling Sect iiikI Ingrowing Nulls. Allen's
foot t'.iisc makes new ortiglit shoosuasy At
all Druggists and Shoe stored, 25 cents. Accept
no substitute. Sample mailed fitr.E.
Address Allen S. Oltnsted, I.cltov. N. Y.
In ancient times the addition of a cross
to a signature did not indicste "his mark."
hut w a-, added as an nt testation of good
faith.
f ITS permanently cured.No fits or nervousness
nfter llrst day\suso of Dr. Kline's Oreat
Ncrveltestorer.ti.rlal bottle and treatisefree
Dr. It.ii. Ki.ink. Ltd,. 081 ArchHt., l'htln., Pa.
Women are t(o be employed to work the
signals on the iSouthern Railway in Austria.
\
II. II. C.iikkn'hV Sons, of Atluntaa^h^^c
the only successful Dropsy spcclal^^^^^^M
world. Sue their liberal of?er in
ment in another column of ?tvls mBbw
A tier man specialist, ci
his country one out
h.us gallstones.
Mrs. Winslo w's Soothing Synip^^^^^R'cn
teething, soften the gums, reduces InwPimation.allays
pain, cures wlndcoile. 25o. a bottle
For a quarter of n century no new houses
have been built in the Sussex (Kngland)
village of Slindon.
Albert Burch, V?s Toledo, Ohio, says"Hall's
Catarrh Cure saved my life." Write
him Tor particulars. Sold by Druggists, 75o.
The man who has made a fortune has a
profound contempt for the man who has inherited
one, and vice versa.
Tlso's Cura for Consumption Is an Infallible
medicine for coughs and colds.?N. wUutUKL,
0<MU tirovu. N. J.. Feb. 17, 1300.
The only heroes whose reputation* are
safe are the dead one*.
I? the oldest and only business college in Vo. earth
Ing its building?? 0r*nd near one No vacatlona
l.ndies A gentlemen bookkeeping,Shorthand,
Typewriting, Penmnuship, Telegraphy, Ac.
' Loading business college south of the Potomao
river.'?I'htla. Stenogtaf>hr? . Address,
G M. Sinitlulcal. President. Richmond. Vs.
Medical college of virqiniX
RSTAHLISIIKI) IH38.
1 he six'y-Flitli Session will commence
September UO.h 1IKKL, Departments of
Medicine, Dentistry and 1'harmaoy.
Well equipped I.nborntorlea. splendid HosiHI
il tacllltles and abundance or Clinical Material
utford unetcelled opportunities for
iiraeticnl work. For Announcement mid farther
Informal ion, address, Cliilatopher
Tompkins, IB. O., Dean. Richmond, Vs.
ncxt session
| UNIVERSITY COLLEGE I
i OF MEDICINE "vrnGmfi?" ft
| meoicine ?pen tistry ?pharmacy 1
Lecture halls /or Theory, I
Laboratories for Proof, X
ft Hospital*/or Practice. I
ft One hundred page Catalogue Free. 8
ATLANTA COLLEGE OF PHARMACY.
Fre? lH?|>i<nmiry. only rollogn In tuo U. 8. opiTnlliitf
a iiriiK more Demand for graduate*
irr.-atm iLtiiii wo ran supply. Address 1?R
?SKO. K. I'AYNK, Whitehall. Atlanta. (la.
oi?o*o**ol?oj|o?oi?oHoa?oi?oiaol?oH
Headache, ?**.2
FEVERISH CONDITIONS ?
AND COLDS CURED BY o
o C APUDINE o
f SoI?l by all DrucKlata. ^
*o?>o*o?to?to??o?to?tc>ito?to?io?tcmo
>VMI->V CRTMAOTIf^^^^'
Ik. Dri|?l>U
Genuine stamped C C C. Never sold in balk.
Beware of the dealer who tries to sell
"something just as good."
So. ?3.
Br?t i'kiibIi Hyrup. Tastaa Good. U?r
In tuna. >..ld >? druKgOx.. (*"
we*^I Thompson's Eye Water
%
IF YOU WILL PUT C"
with this garglo your throat after
\
JL?U_
Keej
fact, always fresh
For Cats, Mashes ?
need only to apply
ff^cxican
a few times and the sorci
he conquered and the wo
To get t lie best result s;
of soft, cloth with the linii
wound as you would a p<
? 2oc., 50c. jini
9
KEEP AN EYE ON >Zr,
diseases ornonn your fowls use Ji
I SOUT1
I RAIL
/ THE GREAT
| OF TRADE A
I Uniting the Princ
I Centers end Heul
I Resorts of the Sou
1 Amni-j-r r/ir
$ it i ii, *m%j>
Hi|(K.CUai4V^^<le Trail
b?tw??n KJ^BvrH and
Ctnolnnil Kriorldj
^ AahavillJi^^T
I New Tork end Florida, elth
and Stvinnih, or via
Savannah.
Superior Dinln^-Car Sorvic
Excellent Service and Lo\
count South Carolina lnt
Exposition.
Winter Tourist TicKeis io
reduced rates.
Por detailed information, liter
* apply to nearest ticket'agent, 01
S. H. HARD WICK,
General Pnuenjer ^jrnt,
Washington, D. C.
R. W. HUNT,
Dlv. Passenger Jtgent,
Charleston, S C.
rtoRUAitv 10. iocs.
RAM'S HORN BLASTS.
i
* ^HP' many poraona {
I *re looking for an |
I A lm norcnnnl rnHcrinn 1
?") {ifaf) 'n l'mo trouble
' rrfuse tho devil's
/ It Is sometimes
/itjwi \vKr?s\ convenient to mista^C
prP-',I<"c0 *or
|>Qk \ JL- Culture will never
-i^rl eliminate the marks
?f the Cross from
rhrlst.
Falsehood turns its ba<k on truth
and he who looks through the one may
often see i : other.
The bitterest rod may drive to the
sweetest comfort.
Every youth will become a yeoman
in some cause.
What we gain in sentiment wo are
apt to lose in sense.
Consrieneo is a good watch, but it
will not wind itself.
.iptitude in prayer may depend on
altitude in nrncti<A
The miracle la the flash that cornea
when God to ichcB man.
The Bible o ves its place to its power
and not to oir. polemics.
God brings His eeivants to the ride
of His Son bv the path of His sufferings.
What God sends down depends a
good deal on what we will give up.
We are commanded to rejoice in one
another ns well as in ouraolves.
Tho analysis that destroys is too
high a price to pay for our knowledge.
True love for God cannot he satisfied
with selfish pleasure in His presence.
Take care to fill your pulpit with loving
piety and your pews will fill up
with living people.
poonfulof Mexican Mustang Ltnt
into a glass half full of wo tor and
l it will quickly cure a bore ThroaU
3 this
in your memory:?
iiid all Open Sores, yon
ustan? ^inimcnt
ic.ss ami inllaimnat ion will
untied llesli healed.
yon tdiould saturate a piem
mcnt and bind il upon tlio
uilticc.
:1 $1.<K) n bottle.
poultry nml nt tli" vry Oral ficu of
>, Krnly 1Rurul?l?!oi?? or other
cxJcuii Mustang liiiilinent.
HERN|
WAY j
HIGHWAY
WD TRAVEL.
:ipal Commercial
Ith and Pleasure
th with the A? *
T and WEST.
-is. Through Sleeptng?C>ri
N*w Oricani, via A-Jania.
Points via Atlanta and via jj
ervli Lynchburg', Danvlll*
Ricinnunu! Danvlll* and J
n on all Through Trains.
v Rates to Charleston ac>
'cr-Stalc and West Indian
ature, timo tablet, ratem, etc.. 3
r a U d rets Li
W.H.TAYLOE, |
Asst. Cen. Pass. Agent, |
Atlanta, Ga. Ei
J. C. BEAM. r
District Pass. Agent,
Atlanta, Ga. I
WAS IT A NEW EXPERIENCE?
Tale of a Strange Happening to Party
of Literary Men.
Sir Womyss Reid's now biography
on William Blank, the novelist, recalls
an amusing story of Black's visit to
America which has never before appeared
in print. It concerns Mr.
Black and three literary men, who,
as they are still living, we shall designate
as Messrs. A.. B. and C. It seems
that Black and this interesting trio
were having a quiet afternoon at
poker, into the mysteries of which
Black desired to be Initiated. An accompaniment
to the game, merely for
purposes of accuracy in local color,
was a hottle of fine old whisky, which
Black had provided, with pride in its
high merit. This bottle now becomes
at once the hero and villian of the
storv for it TV-no on nIH n - V- ? '?
long been undisturbed that the fuselnil
had collected at the top in dendly
strength. All of the party drank
lightly, hut the consequences were
so unfortunate that one of the literary
gentlemen retired and went to
bed, and another, a very abstemious
man, ascended the staircase of his
own home on his hands and knees,
and when his astounded wife inquired
what was the matter, amiably replied.
"M'dear, I wish they wouldn't take th"*
banisters off the stairs. Why do they
do it, m'dear?" When the four friends
met later and compared notes, their
experiences were found to be singularly
alike, and, the trouble being explained,
Black laughingly apologized
for his unintentionally dangerous hospitality.
The Boston Transcript notes the
fact that a woman recently went to
a strange town to marry a man whom
she had never seen, and says this Is
not so strange as that so many wo|
men rnarry the men they have seen.
"I SUFFERED TEI
WITH FEMAI
SAYS MRS. ESTH
"I Had the Headache Con- r-"
tmually?Could Not Do My
Work?Pe-ru-na Cureck"
Mrs. Esther M. Milncr, DcGraff, /!i<
Ohio, writes: ? f .
"I was a terrible sufferer ||,
from female weakness and had Z I,
the headache continuelly. / r
xcan not able to do my house
work for my husband a nd my- J vt1
self. 1 wrote you and described 1m
my condition as tiear as pits- J k.
sible. Tou recommended I'e- % \
r it tin. J took four bottles and J
was completely cured, t think
\ Pernna a wonderful medicine *
antl have recommended it to 5
my friends with best results." *
?.Mr*. E. M. Mil tier. J
**"
Miss Mamie Groth, I'lattcville, '
Wis.f writes: "Accept a crate- *
ful Ktrl s thanks for the wonderful <
ful help 1 have received throupt.
the use of I'eruna. Although I looked well I
ami strong I have for several years milfered
with frequent backache, and would
for several days have splitting headaches.
I did not wish to till my system with poisonous
drugs, and so when several of my
friends advised me to take Peruna, I asked
my physician what he thought of it. lie
recommended it, and so 1 took it and am "
entirelv without nam of any kind now."?
M iss Mamie tJrotn.
Dr. S. B. Jlartman, President of The
Hartman Sanitarium, has had over fifty
years' experience in the treatment of letnale
catarrhal diseases. He advises women
/bon ton cor
STRAIGHT FROKT
^ improve the appearance of ^
^all women, stout or slim, tal
^^mediutn. Ask your dealer al
ROYAL WORCESTER
^^^CORSET CO., wof
WHEN THEY GAVe LAND AWAY
NchrMlin Soil Not AIkiijt* hi Viiltmlile
n? It In Now.
"Fertile as our broad prairies are in
Nebraska." said Judge Stark of that
state, to a group in the Democratic
cloakroom at Washington. "I havo
seen the time when men were glad to
give awny all the real estate they had,
and counted themselves fortunate if
they couid succeed in that.
"During one of our bad drouth years
I met a scrubby-looking team one
morning making toward the Kast. The
man in the carriage was one of my acquaintance.
amW he was on the way
back to Illinois, nis old tome. We
talked on, and he told me how everything
on Ms place had dried up and
disappeared till he had only a cart, a
cow and a few farming implements |
left of all his prosperous assets.
" 'My next neighbor,' he continued,
growing cheerful at the thought, 'was
a Dutchman. I proposed to trade iny
cart and cow and remaining farming
implements for his horse and wagon
here, if he would also accept the deed
of eighty acres, half of my land.'
" 'He took you up on that?' I remarked.
" 'Yes,' answered my friend, cordially.
'You see, the Dutchman could not
read, and I needed over to hfin tho entire
160 acres. That is the reason why
I sm able now to pull up 3tak?g? for
Illinois.' "
The man who thinks he is ahead
of God is decidedly out of date.
:
w?wpmacrMU w
My Hair \
I " I had a very severe sickness fcj
that took off all my hair. I pur- I
chased a bottle or Ayer's Hair g
Vigor and it brought all my hair fl
back again."
W. D. Quinn, Marseilles, 111. 8
One thing is certain,?
Ayer's Hair Vigor makes
the hair grow. This is
because it is a hair food.
It feeds the hair and the
hair grows, that's all there
is to it. It stops falling |
of the hair, too, and al- S
ways restores color to |
gray hair.
SI.00 a bottle. All druggists.
If your dragzlst cannot supply you, J
and us one dollar and wo will express I
you a bottlo. Bo sure and eive tbo uamo jf
of your nearest express office. Address, U
J. C. AVER CO.. Lowell, Mass. fl
Liver Pills
That's what you need; something
to cure your biliousness.
You need Ayer's Pills.
Want your moustache or heard a I
| beautiful brown or rich black ? Use
Buckingham's Bye
SOctt ot drugg'tliO' P P Hill & Co . Ntihua.N.H
. , , - ?
?RIBLY
LE WEAKNESS;"
OR ?!. niLNER.
free of charge. If ?
you are suffering * 'TJr / \
from any female ? a**********
derangement write
him a description of your symptoms and he
will give you the henetit of his experience
in the treatment of women's diseases.
If you do not derive prompt and satisfactory
results from the u?e of lWuna,
write at once to Dr. llartman, giving a
full statement of your ease aftd he will be
pleased to give you his valuable advice
gratis.
Address Dr. llartman, President of The
llartman Sanitarium. Columbus. O.
I
I 4 Rashes, Heat, Perspirati
fa 11 other application so soo
hath with CllTirtiRA
$ ings with Cuticura, the Great
a! relief for skin-tortured babies
S No amount of persuasion can in
0 these great skin purifiers and beai
serving, purifying, and beautifyin
j of infants and children. CUTK
? emollient properties derived from
1 with the purest of cleansing ingre<
Li flower odours. Together they fo
I and infallible cure of itching, sea
p and irritations of the skin, scalp
| Guaranteed absolutely pure
Sold throughout the world. British Depot
London, F.. C. Pottkr Drik; and Ciibmigai
r i; ::-?AREM'
a U\ JuI E13 :; S7i Twrtvt c
I
M-WUTTOY AMOlTt MTmXP * *4 OO PIASt
SOUTHERN DENTj
If yoa aro interested in obtaining a de
of full instruction. Address Dr. s. w. J
BOILE
Work. Shafting, Pulleys, Gearing, Boies. Hsngr
parity, 30O bAB is l.ouih?ril Foundry, Mac!
m. J. SILLS DAKIEL,
OF KICIinOND. VA?
I I The moat prominent and successful apeclallst
on
A N C E R,
Tumor and Diseases of Women, of the South, i
Is iummrrlnK In Hendersonvllle, N. C. the :
months ot July and August. The Dr. takes !
this opportunity of ? iTcring his eervfoes to ]
I foe mfierer* of Western North and youth !
| Carolina. Consultation and Kluini nation
free?ample accommodation provided for patients
from a distance. Grndaataa >furse In .
I attendance. Address or call 60'Main St. |
ilondersoyllle. N. c After Sept. 1st call or ,
1 add i rs. Thk On. IlANISL.SaRITOPlUM.Hleb- ,
tnond. Vs. Send for my Ulurtratad book on j
VancerFree.
NEW PENSION LAWS 332 I
Apply to NATHAN flit KFOKI), OI4 F St.,
Wsskiuslon, D. t'. I
|
for frisky Youngsters
"Red Seal" Shoes. gfglf |
PIANOS . . I
, . ORGANS
1E*BT iWe arc "f" 1
' ial"n ucc-l
Pianos and Organs g
Writo for our Catalogs ntul Easy H
ruynvut Tortus. Wo can tell you Btl
how to buy tin Instrument at the Rfl '
lowest Cash prlco ntul pay lor it onsy. I
FURNITURE AND CARPETS I
Special Clearance Sale,
I ALL THE MONTH OF AUGUST.
Ill ritr for Kfthtvta /VicrI.int.
Andrews Furniture & Music Co., $
( IIAUI.OTTi;, >. < .
im miwi"
CEABOARD
3 AIR LINE RAILWAY.
WEEK-END AM) SUNDAY
EXCURSION TICKETS . .
On enle Saturdays and for forenoon trains
Sundny, good to return following Monday,
from Charlotte to the following named
points ut rates ns shown below: Portsmouth,
Vr. , $7.Od, Jackson Springs, N. O., 63.50,
Monroe, N. C., 75 oents; Wilmington, N. C.,
4.00| Llncolntou, X.C.. $1.00; Mt. Holly, N.
C., 60 cents; Stanley Creek. N. O., 75 rente;
Iron, N. C., $1.00; Cherryvllle, N. ('., Si.00,
W?co. N. C..61.25. Shelby, N.C., 61.25; llutherfordton.
N. C. 61.50; Marlon. N. C., 62.95,
Hickory, N. <"!., 61.95; Clifls. N. C., 62.00;
Renoir, N. C., 62.05; Plowing ltock, N C!?
65.06; Cross Hill, S. C., 62.00; Morlicnl
City. N. C.. 60.50.
Exceptions: Tickets to Illowing Rock will
be sold on Friday and Saturday, good to re.
turn the following Tuefduy. 'Jickets tt> l>e
sold to Morehend City on Ratnrdays, good
to return the following Tuesday.
For further information, cull on. or address
All. V. IIMtUlhli, P. and T. A.,
23 South Tryon Street, Charlotte, N. C.
D R O P S Y
jL ^ 1C OATS'TREATMENT FREE.
r*/ Ty Harp mad > Rrnp.-y acd its com*
Pffwiw ^ plioatior.s a tipeciulty for twenty
T years with the most wonderful
X. , 4 success. JIavo cared luanythoaa
JMV /Jk^auaonses.
CS.II.IL asssivs cci:s?
VBiplnrr? " T.rx 15 Atlanta, Qa.
BABY'S j
DELIGHT 1
[OTHER'S I
MFORT I
:hafings,itchings, |
on, Lameness, and Soreness no tt
thing, cooling, and healing as a ?
dap, followed by gentle anoint- 8|
Skin Cure. It means instant K
and rest for tired mothers. K
duce mpthers who have once used Bj
utifiers to use any others for preg
the skin, scalp, hair, and hands R
1URA SOAP combines delicate &
CUTICURA, the great skin cure,
dients, and the most refreshing or K
rm the only speedy, economical. E
ily, and crusted humours, rashes,
and hair from infancy to age. H
N vwfixffY A Son*;, oj Charterhouse So., Kj
i. Corporation, Sole Props., llosioo, U.S.A. Pj
ON^gOLLEGE,
JmaWwEN & w, HICKORY.' N .C.4*
IY JRAINfD TCACHIRt i'A NOTtt> MfcAlTM WfAGRT.
OUR3I5 Of SUIDY >* - - - r ^
MLt* DOC.axrOND-'.Lf I>!IU<
P CIVtN IN MUSIC. PfA'JTlfdl CAT A10 JI I lift, f
fVL COLLEGE,At,orntal
education writo for froo cntaloffua
foMtmr.D?an.(>l Inmnn UIcl/.. Jitlanta.Ga*
"O AND ENGINES
JLh Ij^t hwi_i? Tanks. Stacks. Murnl.
pipes and >hn?t-lion
>rs. Etc. HutlrtlnR Cnstlnxs?cist ?>?i<rv day; ca?
dit. .nil Holler Work., Augusta. (!a.
80. 33.
K1IMS
For years I had been a sufferer with
chronic stomach trouble, pressure of pas
and distress of my bowels. I contracted
what the doctor pronounced a low type
of malaria. I could not take solid food
J at all, and only a very little of the light- *
est diet would create fever and vomiting.
The druggist sent me a box of Hi- ?
pans Tabules, saying he sold more Hi|
pans than anything else for stomach
I trouble. I not only found relief, but believe
1 have been permanently cured.
At druggists.
The Five-Cent packet is enough for an
ordinary occasion. The family bottle,
60 cents, contains a supply for a year.
I