Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

‘5v> A RANCH GIRL’S CHOICE. 7ollu aback their heads, an’ whispered ' 'round. In rather of a sneerin’ way, IThat I was crasy, when they found Me icoln’ to mnrrv Tommy Gray. They hinted that I’d beat be dead Than hitched for life to such as he, JJat I jet’ let ’em talk an’ aald They didn’t know him well aa me. Pur though be might be wild at times, He never did no aer’ua crimes. When I declined young HllnaPope, Who slung at me his ranch and herd, An’ put the rowels to his hope Without a aaper-flu-ous word. An’ offered Tom encouragement — A cowboy working for hla hire— The neighbors ’round ua nearly went In spasms, an’ they used to tire 3ie hall to death a-snyln* I Would take a tumble byan’ by. /An’ pa an’ mo, both of ’em roared Like Texas bulls, they got so wild. An* Hid they wlsht the blessed Lord Had tuk me when I was a child. They said If I would marry HI ’T’d make big folks of all of ua. But as far Torn, they knowed ’at I Would find be was a worthless cuss, T told ’em plain aa A D 0 IMy heart was doin’ It, not me. An’ all the same I married Torn, An’ you Jos’ ort to seed ’em stare To see him settle down ’an come j Right to the front, an’ every care jl ever had Jos’ oozed away Like smoke before the prairie breeze, A“’ we’re as happy as the day Is long, an’ also, If y ( There ain’t a neighbor But tblskstuy Tom is out o’ sight yon please, left or right An’ sometimes wbeu I set sn* peep At that fat baby lyin’ there ICurled In Its little crib asleep, Resemblin' Tom right to a hair, • An’ hear Its pa In the corral A slngln’ tunes In his delight. An' whls'lln' dancin’ music—well, I think I hit It mighty right, A u ; as fur 81,1 shed no tears— He's gone to Jail fur steulln' steers. TIE SOLDIER'S USS WHO LOVED I SAILOR UD BY IMOUSNB MANCItEMTKR. 16*1$ T the time of Glory Price’s birth the Civil War had been over just teu years. —- v They called Iier ® ,or 7 k*- P / cause, when her ■ //i * soldier father had, with awk- wark tender* *»ess, first taken the warm little bun dle into hi* one arm, he bad glanoed come back to yon soon,** and, not dar ing to trust himself further) the strong man passionately kissed the tear- stained face and was gone. Hhe could not shake off the strange forltoding that wonhl not leave her until her father jocosely asked why finding a lover had made his Glory so dim. Time passed, still the shadow of ill seemed never to lighten. On that February morning when the world was appalled at the horri ble disaster to the Maine Glory went into the kitchen to give the order to the grocery clerk. “Heard the news?" he inquired ex citedly; “battleship Maine is blown up and everybody on board is killed —but what’s the matter? Help!" he shouted, for the shadow had dark ened, and Glory was granted the bless ing of unconsciousness. Then came the horrible days of waiting for the official reports, and finally it was found that Jim was alive, hut horribly mangled and burned, and Glory knew from the dis patches that he was maimed for life. Honest John Price and his wife grieved over the change in their daughter, who was but a ghost of her former self. At last a letter came from Jim, only two or three blurred lines, and thou Glory seemed to change. With almost a return of her old- time brightness, she went about her household duties until the twilight came, and then, drawing a parent on either side of her, Glory began, half- timidly: “I want to ask you both to consent to my marrying Jim as soon as he re turns. I want to care for this mangled and injured one and nurse him hack to what health remains for him; I promised to be true to him, and I meant it," and she looked pleadingly at both parents. “But, Glory Hear, he can never support you, and probably not him self,” interposed her mother. “No, mamma, I have thonght of that, but it is no burden to care for those we love, and I am strong and young, besides our great and gener ous government will find some niche for the wife of a Maine sufferer to fill; I am not afraid to try and I know 1 shall succeed," and in the light of the slowly rising moon the upturned face was angelic in its sweetness and pur ity. “I want to be married beneath the old bullet-ridden flag—my namesake, you know—for you see your little Glory has found something to do for her country.” And so it was all settled, and when Jim was able to return to the little New England village among the hills ho found waiting what he had already won—Glory—his bride, a soldier’s daughter.—Chicago Becord. MAKING ROADS IN CUBA, helps for housewives. for ‘obi glory’ and you _ *e yonrs for baby; suppose her ‘little Glory?’” and the gentle mother bad answered: “All right, John; she shall be our little Glory." Yho neighbors had said it was a silly •ort of name; that Harriet or Susan or even a fancy name like Rose would h»re gone beautifully with Price; but they for their parts never knew a child with such a fool uume*to come to any good, and they one and all hoped that she would be true to her name and not come to an inglorious end; but it w*s plainly evident they did not look for any such miracle ami would be al most disappointed if the united pre diction of the neighborhood should prove untrue. Notwithstanding the shadow of her name little Glory thrived and grew so •weet and winsome that even passing strangers would stop to pat the crown of golden curls and gaze into the per fect face. Nothing pleased her childish fancy more than to hear tnlm.' of the uphold ing of the old flag, and oftentimes wit^i shining eyes she would stroke the empty sleeve and look up into the weatherbeaten face she loved so well •nd wonder “what a little girl like Glory Price could ever do to serve her country." “Be a true soldier's daughter," her father would reply; “for some day the union may need strong men and brave women again, yon know." The years came and went, bringing with them a rare and perfect woman hood for the old soldier's daughter. Bhe was still Glory Price, for to one after the other she had said “No," scarcely realizing P at her heart was afloat with one who was serving under the old flag, until she read that the battleship Maine—Jim’s ship—had been ordered to Havana harbor to pro tect American interests there. Un shed tears trembled in the bine eyes at the thought that perhaps she should not see him again, and,startled at what sho read in her own heart, Glory Hung herself upon her little white bod in an agony of tears. But Jim did come, jnst to say good- by, and as he strode up to the old Price homestead Glory thought him the handsomest and bravest looking man she ever saw. Before he left he had won her promise to be his bride upon his re turn, and, laughing at her fears, as sured her that sending the ship was only a precautionary measure, and his absence would not be long. It was a sweet and sad parting, their happiness so newly found, their separation so soon. ‘I go, my darling," he said, ten- rly, ’“to fight for the old flag if nec- __ ry, and then my reward will be the sweetest Glory that ever was given to man. You will be true to me, will you not, dear, and God grant that I Hippopotamus Traits, The last hippopotamus has been slaughtered in Natal. All the larger *anv rate for natur alists, in another century. Not so long ago the hippopatamns haunted the rivers of Cape Colony and Natal, and “lake-cow bacon,” as tho salted layer of fat underlying the hide is called, was a favorite dish, but now this huge creature has disappeared from both countries. Tho hunter has been its enemy for many a century, but the rifle is a far more deadly weapon than the assegai. The animal has an appetite proportionate to its bulk, anil can accommodate a good deal of vegetable produce. Besides tins, it is a wasteful feeder, tearing down and trampling up much more than it consumes, and if prefers cul tivated plants to wild vegetation. That has proved its doom in Natal. One herd was left at Seaoow Lake, a coast lagoon near Durban, and was protected by the government. It con sisted of parents and a family of five. Unfortunately, these, like young peo ple all the world over, loved “sweet ies,” and made nocturnal raids on the neighboring sugar-cane plantations. The owners petitioned the govern ment, a warrant of execution was granted, and the parental bull, who must have been nearly fifty years old, was the last to fall, and will hence forth he only an “exhibit” in the Dur ban Museum.—London Standard. How fast Things Go. A mathematician has compiled the following list of speeds a second: The snail, one-half inch; a man walking, 4 feet; a fast runner, 23 feet; a fly, 24 feet; fast skater, 38 feet; a carrier pigeon, 87 feet; locomotive—sixty miles an hour—88 feet; swallows, 220 feet; the worst cyclone known, 380 feet; the Krukatoa wave—at the vol canic catastrophe of August 27, 1893, iu the Sunda Islands—940 feet; the surface of the globe on seu level at the equator, 1500 feet; the moon, 3250 feet; the sun, 5j miles; the earth, 18 miles; Holley's comet in tho perihel ion, 235 miles; electric current on telegraph wires, 7000 miles; induction current 11,040 miles; electric current iu copper wire armatures, 21,000 miles; light, 180,000 miles; discharge of a Leyden jar through copper wire one-sixteenth of an inch iu diameter, £27,100 miles, which is said to have been the highest velocity measured.— New York 8uu. Printing Money. One of the curiosities of the Bank of England is to be seen in the print ing room. A man sita at a desk, and every three seconds a machine delivers to him two complete £5 notes. If he aits there six hoars he receives over £70,000, and in 300 days over £20,* 000,000. Glass Fvncvpost*. A glass firm lately received an order for 500 glass fenceposts, to be of the usual -size, and groove j for the recep tion of wire. MANUAL FOR USE OF TROOPS CUTTING MILITARY HIGHWAYS. IN Central Roy Stone. Who Has Rtnilteil tho I stead. Says Gooil l’s« Can He Ma<lo of the Guava Tree and the Falia—Of Value to Army Engineers. Brigader-General Roy Stone, now on staff of General Miles, has pre pared a manual for the use of troops operating in Cuba, covering the most expeditious iheaus of cutting military roads through the tangled Iropical vegetation, swamps and underbrush through which the American Army must push its way in Cuba. General Stone was the road expert of the Agri cultural Department, but on the breaking out of the war Secretary Al ger asked that he be assigned to the military service, with a view to mak ing his expeit knowledge available id road-building through Cuba. He has made a study of Cuban soil, vegeta tion and timber growth, and, besides! a personal acquaintance with the country, he has collected a large num ber of photographs, maps, etc., which show in detail the topography and vegetation of the island. With this material iu hand, General Stone has framed his manual for military roads iu Cuba, which has) within the last few days, been distributed to com 4 maudiug officers for their guidance. Iu openiug roads through Cuba General Stone makes good use of the guava tree or bush, which grows in luxurious abundance throughout the island. He gives diagrams by which this is to he cut, and the boughs bound upward, making a compact roll about tho size of a small log. These guava bundles, known as fas cines, are laid lengthwise, one row of bundles lapping over another, like shingles. These are successive lay ers of this bound together, making a serviceable roadway strong enough for troops and even for field ordnance. The manual lays down tho following general plan for Cuban road-making. “If the road is an important one it should have about sixteen feet of travel-way, and, to allow for ditches on either side, the ground should be cleared at least thirty feet wide. Running through a wooded country, the advance or clearing party should be equipped with axes, machetes, bush scythes and a few forks, and should be instructed to cut and clear away all vines, weeds and small un dergrowth and to bind up into bun dles all small bushes less than an iuch in diameter at the ground, these bun dles to be kept for repairs of roads. If there is heavy timber, the secoud gang, equipped with axes ajid saws, will chop out all trees, leaviug the roots iu the grouud, and saw the tree* into such iengths ns will allow the logs .to he hauled or rolled off the roadway." It is then provided that the third gang, eimumpd with axes, hal e*mSc!nes, or bundles, to be used for the roadbed. The fascines are placed lengthwise, butt end forward, and over them is a ooveriug of earth about three inches deep. Each additional layer of fas cines has a layer of earth. The road bed is so laid as to be solid iu itself, with ditches on each side, aud with an easy slope, so that a wagon may be driven off without upsetting. In crossing low, swampy grouud, a layer of poles or canes is first laid length wise to the road, and tho fascines on top. While these bush roads might seem insecure, they are, as a matter of fact, more solid than an ordinary corduroy road, the bundles of bushes beiug crowded together with crowbars until they lie with the solidity of baled hay. General Stone's manual also gave directions for grubbiug out timber where excavations are to be made, fo* making sluiceways, and for the im provement of sandy roads. Sugar cane, which is abundant iu many parts of Cuba, is suggested as one of the best layers for improving the sandy roads. The cane is laid upon the sur face aud covered with about two inches of sand, with alternate layers upward. Another Cuban growth util ized for this purpose is the palm tree. The fiber from the bark of this tree makes one of the best materials for improving sandy roads. Warning is given against the use of pine needles, as they work to the surface and are liable to be burned off. The manual is illustrated by a num ber of diagrams, which show in detail how these military highways through Cuba cau be best constructed. The LatiKhlUK riant of Arahta. The laughing plant grows iu Arabia aud derives its name from the effects produced by eating its seeds. The natives of the district where the plant grows dry these seeds aud reduce thorn to powder. A small dose of it causes the soberest person to act with the boisterous excitement of a madman for about au hour. At the expiration of Ibis time exhaustion sets iu, aud the excited person falls asleep, to wake after several hours with no recollec tion whatever of his autics. A N>w Use For the Fliniioxra]>li. The phonograph is uow used to leach foreign languages. With each phonogrjph the pupil receives a text book and twenty loaded cylinders. Each lesson iu ths hook is arranged in the form of questions and answers. The pnpil, ready to begin, puts the cylinder of the first lesson iu the ma chine, the tubes iu his ears and starts the phonograph. Discovery of the Caroline Islands. The Caroline Islands were probably first discovered by Alvaro do Saavedra, iu 1528. la 1543 Kusaie was visited by Lopez de Vallalobas, and iu 1686 the Spanish Admiral Lazoauo gave them their name^ in honor of Charles IT- To Mak« Kors. To' fftake good rags, take old worn- out garments, Imh- in strips, sew to gether, kyit them, fls you do common knitting, only on two hickory needles about one foot long; knit any length aud width desired, then sew to a cof fee sack, aud you have a nice, useful rug. Ammonia In tho Kitrh* The uses of ammonia are many. One teaspoonfol to one quart of water makes a wash for paint. Will brighten silver if Weed one teaspoonful to one pint hot suds, then polish with cha mois. A few drops on newspaper will polish windows. Mia a few drops with a little hot wateY, rub on grease spot, place blotting j;aper over, and iron with warm iron. Good for cleansing hair brn8hes. v 'v)Vill kill acid ou clothes. Add chloroform to restore color. Will brighten carpets if rubbed with cloth wrung out in am monia and water, Good for .removing odor of perspiration on •kin.'' ^ A VVK-ker Kaajr Chair. A novelty in Wicker furniture ia 4 Wide chair or narrow settle as yoa elect to describe it. It has a very high back, aud is evidently modeled after the high English draught chairs that are popular in many drawing rooms. The new shadings of wicker furniture combine almost every tint known, with,however, the sealing-wax red and the forest green still much in evidence. Spanish yellow is another fashionable color, but with these de cided shades come many delicate hues, making it possible to match any sort of hangings iu furniture. The dura bility and cleanliness of the wicker furniture is adding markedly to its Use ns all-around service, while the possibility of relieving it with pillows and cushions brings it within the limits of upholstered comfort. The Kleosings «f a Summer Stove. No housekeeper who has once used one will ever tolerate coal or wood fires in her kitchen iu hot weather, though she sacrifice a dozen other im portant “wants” in order to secure immunity from theif torturing heat. Gas stoves are always a possibility in cities, but in small towns aud iu the country those for gasolene or oil only are available. Both kinds have been brought to such a state of perfection that there is little or nothing left to be dosirod iu their use. Oil stoves require freqnent cleaning aud trim ming to keep odorless, so preference lies with gasolene. Every farmhouse iu the land should possess one, and the blessings that each would bring during the eternal summer’s cooking to some burdened woman simply could not be measured. They do not “ex plode,” as popularly supposed, and as investigation will prove, every acci dent is directly traceable to some acL wise directou/would vender dangerous many things in common use in the household, panion. Woman’s Home Com- ita^i^aiver sally the* position of GCpD E0AJDSI NOTES. An InteUIbl«WTe The readiness of w.weeSmen to find* fault with the conditionW most high-' ways has, at limes, arenyed much un favorable comment, particularly in the earlier days y>f good roaids Agitation, when the subject was failleda under stood than at present. Tl^eS public- spirited crasach^which they? Inaugur ated was ascribed wholly! o^/ulterior motives, and it^vas not nn^3( they be gan to demonstrate beneficent effectakthat theiposi the cyclist began wo be^atiall appre-, dated. \ i For generations, \those'* who nsed jhe highways bad Deen ^^atisfied to pripd along as best they\u.ight, behind steeds that could voice no it itelligible complaint, traveling as li«tk\ as possi ble iii\the bad seasons ami ne yer con- siderhig the many ways in wpA'ch they wonld\he advantaged if firmvretvlways in everyNdirection emancipated them from the reign of King Mujd. \ -.But the bicycle opened Ifreslx vistas started new lines of thought, -xtient beast no imager trudged, along tlH' on gh mu<1 > over.rocks, ruta ami siwinv' 8 * u P- bi11 and ,down, while the driver vndolently botf^eed aliong iu the vefiid> v behind bita ' , Gnjthe wheel the riderV river ™d nintorlare one, and immediacy awaken*^ a keen and realizing a*. n ? e ot the\r°ad beneiftli him. Every Al au g© in grade • .1 1.— 1. ^ ^ wv OrVAO ESir. IW and calls for greater energy? With bad conditions a" severe strain put upon the attention^, pleasure is ^de stroyed and wearisoLne labor takes its place. \ The bicycle showed inclusively that roads were wrong, »nu x jt largely indicated the extent of the.'r imper fection, It thereby set in mo.Moii the forces that have iu ten years a "cem- plished much and are worijng toVl^’® the accomplishment of mueft more u>k • tier the power of the inevitable login of events.—L. A. W. Bulletin. OUR BUDGET OF HUMOR f LAUCHTEF .-PROVOKING STORIES FOF* R-OVERS toF FUN. v \ f- Her Here* -A Bley ele Propo»«l—Reciproc ity ia • he HiUyiery—>The Pueh mod the Pall—-X omee'Ae Jfote—He Remem- beredVI he 0£c*«lon, Bte., Etc. She pral Mil the boys who marched awav To bat Ills oa the land and sea— Who bra ffsl'jrwent prepared to pay ra Md The pr •?e'bf Cuban liberty; t< fi~ She wat> faed them as they moved along, Bhe w tved her handkerchlel on high; She min gled with the shouting throng, Whos » cheers ascended to the sky. She prr Used the courage they displayed, She dubbed each man who went a k night, And, a: sthey marched away, she prayed That fall unscathed mtgbt quit the fight; But si~ tee they went, that maiden lair— Adnr grer of the brave andl bold— Has utedded with a million; lire, Who’sicrusty and Infirm and old! r yr.tj. 1 —Clevoland Leader. j 'V>- f ^ For Policy’s,Sake. ■ ’“There’s only ou© thing I ever do- •s sake.” that?" my premium.’ that foi ^policy’s ‘^What’s An Infallible Sign.] “How did you first fia<3 you lo ve(J me, darling?" “I fetnud myself getting ai tgry every time polcaYled yon an idiot. v ( y . . A^BIcycle Proposal. ^ '■ w \ Reginald—‘“Will you many me, Aiiss Simpkins?” Miss Simpkins—“What whetel do ^•—NeV. youiride?* ‘^fork World. \ Reciprocity lu^helNorsery. | “Do you sing to yourUmby to quiet yillQ,' ?" ‘^Yes; but sometimes I think 3ta goes\to sleep to quiet me."—Chicag)) KecoM. / \ Domestic Note. Tommy)—"Paw,\what does ‘btfte* half’ mean'?” Mr. Figg—It is a polite way of sayu , — w rv 11 ing ‘the whole thing. ’Y* Journal. -Indianapolui X Good Roads I^agne. Without giving the matter an earn est thought it might seem remarkable that such a progressive idea as that of numbering county houses by the ten- block system, which is cdinmended without a serious objection being raised against it, should be so slojF in becoming established. There are some difficulties to be met and over com a, but they are not serious ones. What is everybody’s business is nobody’s business. There is no money in it directly and person ally for those who work to establish it. It has to be done but once in a place, and the same set of men would have no opportunity to profit by an experience either in getting the super visors to act He Rameinbered tbe)Ocaaslon. y Mrs. BeiAham—“Everyjman makes; a f L ol of hiu'self at least omoe." Bonham—>“Will you ^ver stop twitting me about my martiage?”— New Yot^ Woxld. \ Thett’nste and th*i| jglk ■ nd the', Pall. ^ ‘Tt'j#n’t\hard work to 1 push adan- dem, istil?’* v “Ob, *»!• My iavdestYwork was pullin'jlarf’alleg to g\'t the)tandem." —Chicago Tribune. ' v V Anc^Vet F-lenite. i Brownk—"Hote are you> Ti m?" Tom—“veil, thank you wife has b Browne— saw her sitting' idyl very\ill -‘Vhat’Asl itting at|t! my strange. Vby, I he window! sew ing. Keeping Meat Fresh. To keep fresh beef, pork or sausage daring the hot weather, prepare as for the table, fry very lightly, pack closely in glass, stone or tin fruit jars, cover with hot lard, seal and set away. When wanted for use, open the jar aud set where the lard will melt, then take ont as snuch meat as is needed, reseal the j<»r aud set away again. This is much l etter than cov ering with lard iu open jars, as the meat is almost sure to get strong iu warm weather, and always does after a jar is opened if not used at once, but when sealed.it keeps indefinitely. When i>ouriug on the hot lard, care must be taken not to break glass jars or to unsolder tin ones, and the lard should not be boiling. Those who have sealed fruit with cotton batting and know bow admirably it keeps may perhaps, prefer to use straight, open- mouthed, gallon, stone jars for the meat, as they would be a little more convenient than smaller fruit jars. If covered first with a heavy paper, cut just to fit, Uieu with two layers of cotton batting tied on securely, and over all a‘stout cloth or paper to pre vent the cotton being torn,it will keep as well as when regularly sealed, and meats thus treated will be as palatable late in the summer as though freshly butchered.—American Agriculturist. Receipt*. Fried Carrots—Pare and slice cross wise as thick as a half-dollar three bunches of small young carrots aud cook in unsalted boiling water till tender (about fifteen minutes); drip the carrots carefully. Melt iu a sauce pan two tablespoonfnlls of butter, add the carrots aud sprinkle over them a heaping saltspoonful of salt aud a half-teaspoonful of sugar; fry for ten minutes. Serve as a side dish. Salad or Cold Meat Dressing—Two tablespoonfuls of dry mustard, two tablespoonfuls sugar, one teaspoonful salt, enough boiling water to make a thick paste (don’t put iu too mnch water); pour into this one-third cup ful melted butter, three eggs beaten thoroughly, on® coffee capful of milk or cream; after putting all togsthor add one oupful vinegar; boil in double boiler until thick, like cream; do not boil iu tin. Fig Sandwiches in Rolls—Split • dozen figs, scrape out the soft portion, rejecting the skins; rnb this to a paste. Butter either white or brown bread, then cut the slices from the loaf as thin as possible; remove the crusts, spread over the paste; roll the bread carefully, prfess for a moment until there is no danger of the roll opening; then roil it in a piece of tis sue pape r , twisting the ends as you wonhl an old-fashioned motto, or it may be tied with narrow b»by ribbon of any cobtf, The Good Roads Leagues all over the country would be doing a particu larly good thing if they would add the ten-block system to the educating work they are doing for good roads. The two should go hand in hand and the organizetiou would be equally avail able for both lines of work. The work done in one locality would give knowl edge, practice and experience which would help in other places. About all that is needed is to estab lish it in the very best way iu a few prominent counties, and it would then, as a matter of course, go into all other counties. Will they not add this fea ture to the line of good work that they are now doing? Wrong; Pause. ' said I'llQ “I entreat you to pause, girl. He paused. ^ ^ ^ * Theu he kissed\h®r- • “Did I pause tpng enough?” he asked. “Yes,” answered tbe girl, regret fully, “but not at the bright tim*^—. Now York Journal. V Are Not » Luxury. The Road Commissioner of Now Jersey, Mr. Bndd, points out that it costs three cents a bushel to haul wheat ou a level road a distance of five miles, and at least nine cents to haul it the sumo distance on a sandy road, which goes to illustrate the practical economic importance of good roads. This is a point which deserves the serious attention of farmers. Handy and rongh roads are wearing ont their horses and vehicles and increasing the cost of their farm supplies aud of the marketing of their produce. Though little recognized, this is a fact most potent to the careful observer, and most pointedly and truly expressed iu Mr. Budd’s report. When this fact penetrates the minds of farmers more generally they will begin to realize that money and labor expended on road improvement will save moneyfor them in reducing the actual cost of hauling aud iu saving vehicles and horses. It is high time to aispenso with the idea that good roads are luxuries, mere fancy frills, and to regard well made highways as among tho necessi ties.—Easton (Penn.) Free Press. No Foolish ObstfniMT-^r^ Inquiring Stranger—“Did 1 yoo ever think what you would do if that rope, should break or your foot should slip when you fire cleaning the optside of one of those windows on the\ seventh floor?" Window Cleaner—“Yes, sirj out of the business entirely. iThi I’m a fool?”—Chicago Tribune.' ^ How She Looknl at It. Mr. Short—“My dear, Miss Kate,! have a serious question I wish to ask. you.” Miss Long—“What is it, pray?” Mr. Short—“Will you marry me?" Miss Long (scornfully)- “Do you call that serious, Mr. Short? Why, I don’t think I ever heard anything ^so ridiculous.”—Detroit Free Press. The Onlv Inference. “I have a piece of china in the house over 200 years old,” proudly announced tho lady visitor. “Then you must do your own cook ing,” quickly replied the little girl of the family, “for mamma says she’ll be blowed if she can find a girl that won’t smash a whole set of china every six months.”—Detroit Free Press. Bad Roads—Bad Business. A late dispatch from Casper, Wyom ing, says that “on account of muddy roads the wool hauling business of this part of the Stato is almost at a standstill, many of the loaded wagons being stalled along the roads leading to this city. The wool market is ex tremely dull and icw sales have been made. The clip will be a large one, and of superior qualtity. '* Shot* at Bad Road*. . The road improvements petitioned for under the new law in New York ate almost entirely in the suburbs of large towns. The city depends on the country; the farmer’s welfare is the public wel fare; money in his pocket makes the farmer prosperous; good roads aid him to accnmnlate coin. The wide-tire law is still being dis cussed in many places despite the fact that where it has been tried it has proved successful. The reasons for the long deliberation over the matter are numerous, but many persons would like to see the law «donted «t 'noe. HU Unlucky Day. “You had fine lack to-day, Sam,” said the fisherman’s wife as he came in. “The worst lack I ever had,” was the sullen reply. “Why, Sam, look at tho great string offish!” “That’s just it. There was n’t a city chap with a pretty rod on tho pier, that I could sell ’em to.” Substantial Proof. Mildred—“I just heard, a little while ago, that your brother Cholly was ill.” Mabel—“Yes, he has brain fever.” Mildred—“Oh, I congratulate you. This must be a great relief to your family.” Mabel—“I don’t understand you.” Mildred—“Why, this will prove be* yond a doubt that he has some.”— Cleveland Leader. Fun From the French. m A Bonlevardier is at once surprised and enchanted to meet an old-time companion whose suicide has been re ported. “It’s trae,” said the latter. “I did want to kill myself, simply from dis taste of life. And then came along the doctors and discovered that I had a grave disorder. Since then, yon understand, I take care of myeelfl”— Figaro.