The dispatch-news. [volume] (Lexington, S.C.) 1919-2001, September 13, 1922, Image 2
.
HOT NATURAL END
. ' X V .'>? ' '
Death From Old Age Never in
Scheme of Things.
* Those wistful dingers to lift who
cherish the ignoble ambition of dying
ttf old age, if they most die at ail,
may be shocked to hear that death
from old age is not a natural death.
There's a paradox that will bear the
light of reason, for It can easily be
shown that such a death Is quite remote
from the normal operations of
* ?? ?-re. i
uame xxaiure wueu sue i? icu w ua
own devices, says a writer in the
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Dame Nature would have made
Short work of Uncle Johnny Shell,
Kentucky's senility freak, who died
the other day at the reputed dge of
134, had not the driveling old man's
relatives and neighbors, to say nothing
of the rustic showmen who some* lines
exploited him as?the "oldest man on
earth," conspired to protect him from-,
the normal accidents of injury or
starvation that otherwise overtake the
worn-out individuals of any species.
No creature is permitted by Dame
v Nature to "lag superfluous on the
Stage" until overtaken by the dissolution
of absolute senility. Wild ani.
mala don't live to die of old age. They
don't linger along as doddering dependents,
Uke the Kentucky Methu\
- selah. v 5
The superannuated elephant or buffalo
isn't supported or tended by the
herd. It retires gracefully to a solitary
state of existence and maintains
titself as well as It can with its failing J
faculties until It starves to death, ^
stumbles over a Tdlff or is overcome oy
enemies.
Whatever the end may be, it comes
pretty quickly and is considered by
Hipe far more merciful than-tlie protracted
life that Uncle Johnny Shell
- dragged cut for so many years. The
efti&iy tiger, no longer spry enough to
caters the nimble antelope, becomes a
jBaa&ster and poar&e babies <?n the
otit$k;rt' of some village. Then some- j
my gets op a tiger hunt, and an ex- j
flMixe ballet saree It from the trans*disgrace
of dying of old age.
Who evfcr found a senile or ?o\g/
fee bled rabbit, robin, we*C. bear, ttooi,
-/ . /aagSe^ ymsu black bass or minnow^
\( Why, Dame JSsture wouldn't dream <rf
aflmrinf her nice, <4een cosmos to be
ctuttered up. She ciesras boost with a
.broom of
Even tlm tree Is net s?isrredto
cumber Che earth beyoni the
period of Its ability to withstand the
normal stress of tfce.elera3Rs. It msy
..' **??'" a California seqtxrta over %000
tears aid or a Cape de Verde bfedbab
5,000 years old, 1ju>d It nay have
~$aased Its period/%;g*pwth ard ?b*
tfered its period of th ?- hr? * w?!t
* '."" '-. '7? almahofe^e^^^^iviiized man frag
pets so that senile
epd-ea^tipFG^^ aad cats sre sept
3W^?^ap^neotalists loDg after outMSnfon
sense would have'tiilled
f'^Bg .tre ditlon of Uncle Johnny Axfee
age is not supported by any of||||aH|?cm?
records. A scientific investigator
lie sought to ferret out the facts.,
found that he could not honestly de-^
'' dace any greater age for Uncle Johnny
p . than a hundred years or thereabouts.
Ry '.V- Local tradition always exaggerates
g:/: \/ the age of a very old person, as in the
case of old Parr, whose boqes crumble
in 'Westminster abbey, and whose
fame was embalmed in a book entitled
'The Olde, Olde, Very Olde Man." Old
. Parr wap a Shropshire peasant who
. was reputed JLo be 152 years old when
taken to London by the earl of Arundel
and presented at court.
s He died the same year?1635. Dr. i
William Harvey, who. discovered the
"circulation ro( the blood, performed an !
B autopsy and found the body in excel-1
";i - lent condition. He thought death had
been caused by the change from aim
Bountry fare to tlie rtcn cue* 01
>n high-life. On Old Parr's tomb
ecorded the names of ten moo,
from Edward IV to Cbaries I,
whom he lived. Bat later IflsI
investigation threw a strong
on the length attributed to his
j?
Veteran
Denies He is Dead.
A certain veteran of the World war
has a bard Job on his hands.:
He recently wrote to the Veterans'
bureau, making an appeal for compensation.
MYou are dead," implied the o!3cial
communication from the bareau. Of
\ course, it was not worded exactly that
way. but that was the entire drift of
the letter.
Sb the man has qfrealed to the Bed
Cross to tell the bureau that he is very
x. ? u..A
flIUCI] Jtuve.
"I am not dead at all," the veteran
continues to assert in letters to tha
Veterans' bureau:
Ton are dead," replies the bureau.
V V
s
'
Misrepresented.
, "People say that you are interested
lo some of the industries mentioned
in the tariff."
*1T? untrue," exclaimed Senator
\ ^torghiam. "What I am trying to keep
from my constituents is the tact that
| am absolutely uninterested and net
, Vary well SL"
? %
!
v
' I
MIGHT BE MONARCH OR CAT !
Official! of Spanish Royal ffafacsa
$arefui In Their Investigation
if Sounds at Night
One day, so the story goes, a member
of the royal household of Madrid
heard noises below. He rose an?
went downstairs.
"It most be the cat,** he thought j
though as a role the cat was not iw>
mltted to wander about the place at
Its discretion. They must have for- j
gotten to lock it up. Suppose tt
should wake the king!
Fearful thought I Conceive the royal I
?' mv.,? Affintol hnrrloH through i
I JL lie uiuviat v wo"*
the dark passages, and at last tracked
I the sound to the pantry.
"Aha?now I've got you!" he whis|
pered, as he opened the door?and be|
held the king rummaging around for
I food! V
If the above story is not true, it is
at least founded on fact, for the king
of Spain sometimes feels hungry in
the middle of the night, and when the
pangs become poignant, ha seeks royal
joints, as you or I would seek the humbler
biscuit. Going into the royal
pantry, he will tear off the leg of a
cold fowl, or quietly carve himself a
slice of meat.
"We never know/' said an official i
who figures in the story, "whether It is
the cat or the king!"?London Answers,
RECEIVED DOLE FROM tNEMY
i
Irish Irregulars Stopped in the
die of Fighting to Draw Their
, Unemployment Pay.
For several years the unemployed
- - * ? ?_?. 1 k/un
In Ireland, as in omaiu, uuvo ucCU
receiving a government dole weekly,
relates Niall Ropan In the Ontlook.
The prgwkional government has continued
this. Despite the difficulties ,
of distributing it during the recent
trouble. K wan very anxious that it
should not be stopped, lest any excuse
should be gtveo for looting:
Oue of the district offices was tbere tte
opened?not more than 25 yards
fr?4n Moran's hotel, an inegnUr
stronghold, now destroyed After several
hundred men had Qffietiy entered,
undismayed by thb rifle fire from the
oat tone I and rebel forees outside, and
signed for end icoehrcd tbelf moody,
even repsbttcons came calosty across
froia jhe hotel, showed that they *em
entitled to payment, were paid, end
returned to fhebr dottea as ixuaw soldiers
at the government when* mousy
ley in their pocket*.
(Trnwitlfi i Is?rita
Man, catting hln.aetf (he master at
nature, may yet bo insured in a fitssnd-death
struggle with insults for poosession
of the gkibe?and in some
ways scientists declare Insects are belter
fitted tfcaa fof 'SDryivai ^fffl
e*rth. ^ed heacaif ^ cMlari^per^
' tlon ! & tiie plebeian bean to be
driven from its present democratic
company into the ranks of the aristocracy?
This possibility Is suggested by
the recent invasion of the southern
portion of the United States by the
Mexican bean beetle, a bandit pest of
the first magnitude that now has
gained a firm foothold and is .already
at work in a limited territory, underlining
natural resources with such
telling effect that the final outcome is
a matter of grave concern. Beans of
all kinds are being attacked by this
, bandit?a kind of ladybug?a*d entire
jvcrops are being wiped out.
That Word "Hysteria."
There is a lot of scientific truth pertaining
to the physical natjire of woman.
,concealed in the word hysteria.
' The classic origin of the word is the
ancient Greek "hysteria," the womb.
The sexuaJ or mother natnre of woman
is indicated in the word as the
origin of^ the laughter, the tears and
the contradictory conduct implied by
the word hysteria.
When a ipan is called "hysterical,"
therefore, thp Implication is plainly
conveyed thai be is acting under the
Impulses understandable and excus.
able (though sometimes extremely annoying)
in a woman, but not permissible
in a person of the male persuasion.?Milwaukee
Sentinel.
t * i .1 i . i
Bad Teeth at e\Raelal Tratt.
Do poor teeth run iil^ races? According
to a report made by Dr. A. W.
Schoenleber of the medical department
of the Standard Oil company to the
Eugenic Research association there Is
a racial difference In resistance to dental
decay as shown by an examination
of 2.758 men of various nationalities.
The gleaming whiteness of the negro's
teeth is not Just contrast with his
hlack skin, these figures show^ as the
greatest proportion of perfect teeth
was found among the Afro-Americans.
on/1 Anotrinn .Tpws showed the
next highest percentage of excellent
teeth, while English. German, Danish.
-Norwegian artd Swedish subjects
showed very feeble resistance to decay..
. The Irish had the worst teeth oi> ail.
Why Hoover Sent Corn to Russia.
Someone asked Mr. Hoover recently
why he seut corn to Russia instead of
wheat. "Because." replied the secretary
of commerce without a moment's
hesitation, "for one dollar I can buy so
many calories"?carrying It out to the
third decimal place?"in coru. and only
so many"?again to the third (Decimal
tiiaee-?"in wheat. I get about twice as
many in corn as in /whedt."--From
"Behind the Mirrors."
*
|
AS THE WORLD LOOKi AT :T
Much Truth, if Poor Mor*!;ty, in Q'4
Gentleman's Explanation cf
Ethics of Today.
Secretary Hoover said ax * luncheon
in New York:
"Let me tell you a story about ridschool
morals?the kln<J of tcomU
we've outgrown.
" 'Pop.' said a little he, 'if i i-teal
a nickel out of -your pucker, tiojt'i
stealing, isn't It?'
"'You bet it is,' said the l:?fle bo. "I
father, 'and you'd go t?- JiUI for it
** 'Suppose I bet a nick." 1 on & gaiat
' of euchre and won. that's gambling
! ain't it. pop?'
** 'Sure is. son, and yot know whert
1 gamblers?whad up?gall v.s or pj- ?<
I house, every time.'
" 'But. pop. suppose I cornere-l *.1'
the quinine /in the world, or ?ii t'k
chloroform, or all the wheal?si'1 ?
thing the world can't gei along v., b
out, you know?and sur-nose X rur
the price up a thousand per oi
j a million per cent, whai would thai
be, pop?'
"The father's eye beamed, and pat
ting his boy on the back, he said wirt
! a proud laugh;
[ wtThat would be business genius
I sheer business genius. * ouHi Imv<
| mankind at your feet if cv>?- so
: coroplish that.'n
ANTELOPE BEING WIPED 0U1
"
- k?' *
The American prongborn anfetfope ii
approaching extinction. Formerly
roaming from the Saskatchewan t<
Mexico, and east to the Missouri river
it is now confined to a few bundrec
wild animals and a few more in .o
dosures.
- ' .
Roving creatures, easiiy the
est runners on the continent: IMiij
mainly in the open, th:< have be
t come easy prey for long*range riflei
1 when fleet-footed enemies were eaa
iiy outdistanced.
Rven their remarkable ?xgr?niluj
system has oat saved"them. Erses
Seton-Thompeon has explained how
on approach erf seme atranggr ?hjwj
the antelope throogh a set of
raises with a jerk, rbe hairjf tin
white romp patch ? on e&h*"r 5- " 3Th>s
flash shines afar ife* p?Td
of snow, and the message is ieod hi
cQ who bate noses to rewd, fle? ?Hi
the flash of hair hi llher^ed as
of musk from a glapd iee?9& In t
patch of brown batr ta
blown.
She-flash to gtefi ao** away lisJ
'f?. If the flash to uat stab-'theI
keen sense of smdfl out*#* tb?
aage area over logg dtek^eag^.
What Basoops of RairJjs.
One tan of water toi cl rse^ocndi
of floor to nature's redpe 6^ iMijl
wheat bf^r*feMflg|u>
i-aiufirfi pubKshed >y ;iW.
j'boJ-.s' hi the Dieparro^
j By controlling the veter supply i:
j Irrigation, accurate mc * li
I possible, and this estimate is or tn<
minimum requirement. Many crop
need five times as much water.
What becomes of all the w^ter
Of a ton of water fall In? on a dozei
square feet of soil during the yeai
about one-third sinks through and I
drained. off underground. Only fj
little runs off the surface if (he fie!<
Is well plowed. A little evaporate
immediately and the res* is hold a
the soil. As the surface dries, tin
moisture in the soil Soaks up by caj
iliary attraction and evaporates i
the surface. But by far the groate
amount is drunk by the roots or r(i
.plants, drawn up Into the lor-c- an
breathed back in vast quantities m
the atmosphere.
One Little Grain of Wheat.
One grain of wheat wiil produc
100 hexllllon grains in the tenth yesi
an agricultural professor t?>ld a
of visiting farmers at the I'e.;r4syly-a?.i
State college. He wasn't qn'te sur
that "hexillion" was the correct wort
.but here is the way he wrote it: 10*1
000,000,000,000,000,000.000. TV-re *, on i
be wh^at grains enough, he said. ?
string 'four billion chains or it fro:
the earth to the sun. Indeed, th
crop of wheat, long before ti?j t
generation, would be so lege that ??
earth would not be big enough f
provide si>ace to replace the entir
crop.?Bucks County Daily News,
Statue to Red Cro?? Man.
Capt. J. A. Pediow, tV America
Red Cross commissioner to Bmhtpo
is said to he the most popu?:?- man !
tlie Hungarian capital. Our of grat
tude for his relief work among Tt;
starving war victims, rm' r.;t
government has erected a rnotrjmei
to him in the city park, which ws:* -<
cently unveiled on the seventy fifbirthday
of Count Appony . Mi* 'grim
old man" of Hungary.?Ti t- Aigonan
! ?
Sentiment and Apsc-ilte.
, ? "I understand that one <-f your cn
"leagues voted for prohibition, ic <pii
hf the fact that he personally cm
surnes convivial fluids."
" l'Yes," replied Senator Sorghw;
"tjis heart was In the right place, di
his stomach wasn't.'*
) Relief to Friend Husband
j "ftas the woman in polit; . ;. ;?ro*\
the conditions of life?"
"Undoubtedly," roplie^
enne. "Women now argur !?"
tions among themselves
making husbands try to clair, outers
tb?y do not undergo cd,''
" ?? c*v n??cr*?
?
FOR WAR ON "LONG KNIVES"
I \
1 Cache Where Indians Had Gathered
Munitions Found in Cave in
Wayne County, Kentucky.
Ruins of what once was a flourishing:
"munitions factory" are sheltered ,
ta a cave 14 miles east of Mill Springs,
? in, Wayne county, Kentucky, in the
opinion of Prof. A. M. Miller, head^of
I the department of geology at the Uuli
versity of Kentucky.
This "factory," according to Pro- j
{ fessor Miller, produced arrow heads to j
? tip the shafts of Indian braves whose ;
no man's land. In the days before the i
i squirrel rifle supplanted the bow/ was ;
Kentucky.
Professor Miller returned recently
* 1 from a trip to Wayne county, where he I
! frvr OH VPQ Pfi^tlinrfSPS ?Tld r
; ?
! old Indian village sites, favorable |
' | ground for the finding of extinct mam- j
* i malian remains.
i "Two rockhouses and one cave were j
" ! examined," he said. "In one of these, |
1 ! about fourteen miles east of Mill j
r i Springs, numerous arrow heads in vuri- j
^ j ons stages of completion were scat- \
j tered at a shallow depth over the floor, j
'.furnishing evidence that this shelter t
1 formerly was an arrow head workshop
j of aborigines."
' I The other rockhouse -nlso gave evi5
| dence of having been a popular resort
1 of the aborigines. Human bones found
j In the cave lead to the belief that it
had been used- as a burial place.
?
SCARED BY UNUSUAL SOUND
.
s Music (?) of Motor Horn Drove Llone
r j From Oxen Which Had Seemed
> i to Them Easy Prey.
. ! . I
1 J The toot of a single motor horn has j
* been found sufficient, in Africa, to
quiet stampeded oxen and cause a trio
- j of flesh-hunting lions to slink away
; Into the bushes. .
Two native ^drivers were recently
8 conducting a wagon drawn by sixteen
p oxen to the railroad Gamp, In the wilds
near Nakuru, the. site of the new Dasin
' r*' -1"* whan the* nYMi u prn
b | U10UU I Hill r? uvo4 ^tiv ? n~ ~i. t # .. w. ^ ^
t'! attacked by three lions. The drivers
? | tied to nearby trees. The oxen be ';
earn# panic-stricken and dashed dawn
1 the rough road, dragging along the
* , body of one ox, killed by the lions.
I'..-with tfce swaying wagon behind them..
y ] The Bods followed their prey.
f This was the mad precession that
i greeted a k>ne motorist at a curve of
j the road. Be had no rifle, and ft was
I atop* tin nncoooekms tnovement that
1 - took Ms hand to Che bora batten. At
tte first sound the Hons aetroed nonf
D tawed, The motorist tbsff bttNr load
f and long. AM the uncanny and saw
k tained ohrtek road above thb clamor of
rbe frightened animals the Dens siuak
? j away among the rocks, headed for the
I" abetter of the bush, tad the oxen
1 ; swung dear of the dust-covered autofv.
mdbite and turn to a step at the aide
i. eg tffi road. -? , - .-t ' *
t& W**? and 7.Scs,
;f"? "Opportunity," divulged t?:?e hon- j
2 peck, "knocks but once, proving it is
a not of the feminine sex."
1 "Might," explained the big man
3 gently to the little man whom he was
pommeling rather ungently, "isn't
J right, but it helps a whole lot."
2 "Religion," cried the atheist, "is a
lazy explanation of mystery."
s "Things left unsaid," wept the una
successful flirter whose object of flir- j
i tation refused to respond with even a ,
s single syllable, "often hurt more than {
a , things spoken."
e "Bah, bah 1" answered the hab.v j
h when asked his opinion of a piece of !
T free verse juet read him. 1 j
r
e ' He Auto Look Bad.
ii "Good afternoon. Mrs. Joues!" ex- ]
0 claimed Mr. Brown. "What a coinch j
, dence, meeting you. I ran into your ;
husband an hour ago."
"How funny 1" replied Mrs. Jones, j
e "And how did you think he was lookr,
ingr
p "Pretty poorly.'*
a "Well, Tra surprised to hear you j
e say that Everyone says he Is look- j
1 ing much better lately."
>.v "Well, he looked bad enough an j
d hour ago," said Mr. Brown.
0 "I wonder why that was," said Mrs. {
? _ Jones.
e "Oh. I can tell you that," said Mr.
h Brown. "You see, I was in my car
e when I ran Into him."?Farm Life.
n ?* "
2 Short and Sweet.
I Following Is the weekly correepond- :
j ence between a wife at the ^seashore
and her husband In town. They have
} been married a lot of year9 and the
letters from the lonely wife are of a
j touching nature. They are all alike j
and so are the feplies.
^ Dear Fred?Please send check. !
' Dear Lottie?Inclosed find check.? ;
, New York Evening Mail.
'! i '
, I Mighty Few Do.
1 "Why don't you join a golf club?" j
"Man, I don't know bow to play I
golf."
{ "That's no reason. Ninety percent j
of the golf club members don't know j
how to play rhe .game, either.'?ue?
trolt Free Press. *
I
| Record Earth Girding.
The fastest trip around the world.
1 consuming 31 days. 21 hours and 30
| ndnntes, was made by John Henry
I Mears, in 1913. ,
^ To Test Jar Covers,
| Screw the top on the jar without
'*< the rubber. If the thumb nail onn
* be inserted between the cover and the
" Jass, the top is usually defective.
' i
f
BAD FOR BRUIN |
i
Animal Evidently Didn't Know
Mule's Capabilities. ? j
I
I
i
Two amusing bear ttortes, both j
vouched for by reputable eye-witnesses,
are going the rounds here, say* a dispatch
from Prince George, B. C.
Forest -fires in northern British Columbia
during the paet month have
had a peculiar effect upon some of the
wild animate of the woods, judging
from some of the stories brought to
Prince George.
A fight between a fire-crazed bear
and a mule. In which , the beur was
worsted, occurred at L. Mason's ranch
at Bednosti, B. C. * The forest fire
routed the bear from his lair, and in
its dash from the flames into the open
country it collided violently with a
mule. The bear was promptly stretched
on the ground by a double tattoo from
the capable hind hoofs, and the mule
calmly resumed its interrupted grazing.
Thoroughly angered, the bear
picked itself up and cautiously approached
the mule from a different
angle. The huge paw was brought
down with a resounding thwack on
the mule's ribs. This was unfortunate.
The hoofs were again brought into
play, after a quick, accurate maneuver
for position, and the fight was called
off. so far as the bear was concerned.
Mr. Mason, who had witnessed the
unusual encounter, doshed to the house
for a rifle to finish the bear, should
any life be left. Before he could get
back to the scene, however, bruin managed
to get groggily to his feet and
return to the lass exciting environment
of the forest iira
A fire patrol ranger is sponsor for
another bear story. While making a
*?1 *v
SUJ'vo.v m kic unmnuim ?
came upon a young rub Buttering from
severe burns on feet aw* body. The
youngster was whtmpg&ig from tto'
pain and the forester-took pity oo It,
tttt&i tt Into bfs wr, and there m?d?
It fast with some rope.
the patrolman started oa MM jtnr-,
n& aaiy to discover that th# arikher
tte&x tod appeared and was ta tot
pursuit. An me tradk ran upbtB at tWa
point, the bea^ making fotff gtrtdes.
?lined ateadlty, and ttoa o?$d tm atprt>
egy Was deartf Indicated, tto ftsrestyy
took yt initrurftoa? doeft aot
uuwa a rttaaflofi g&c)|. as toit the
ranger was /efoftrfeCtd and deeMted
mat tite best plan would be to throw
?ap cut) overbdlrd.
0fe rttetftpcs to aeuda the knots en
the l&fctngs which stoflted the toto#ster
fo the n? ditto, howem, pfevsd
futfie. Pursuer end porsned came to |
fa y&t weeper grade, with the advantage
all wfft the former. Finally, wttk
caae mighty e#ort, the oW bear 'threw
vhgwetf to 9?r srther cfcf^ h^dfiii
on by her daws and pews.
This is where flic forester decided
to retire 2n fsvor dS the enemy. He
dived off th? -:-ur, and regained h's feet
in time to see !t continuing its journey
eastward, wltn a mother and child 1
happily reunited as Its passenger*.
Later the car was found, run down
and everywhere.lntact, except the side
where the cub had been tied, the old
bear having torn It out to release her
offspring. j
Can It Be True? > i
Thomas A. Edison, in a recent interview
talked about the many advantages
of being deaf. (
"For instance," he said, "a motor- 1
ist hurried into a country drug store
the other day and" asked if he was
on the right road to Brandy wine.
" 'Brandy, yes,' said the druggist,
who was very deaf. 4N*o wine, but
plenty of brandy. I can see you're all
right by your looks, sir.' And he
poured the motorist a stiff drink orit
of a big blue china jar labeled 'Ipecaehuana.'
" T don't want that,' the motorist
protested. 'I want to know if this is j
the best road to the Brandy?'
W4The best brandy? Ton bet it's '
ihe best,' interrupted the druggist.
44'No, no ! The Brandywine!'yefled
the nwmrist. 4I want to get to the
Brandy?'
44 'Thank you,1 aaid the druggist. 1 j
don't care if I do.'
"And with a gratified smite he J
ponded a second stiff drink out ot the ;
btue china jar for himself." j
- 1
Somethlnfl to Fall Back On.
"Suppose you were not allowed to !
write wheezes on prohibition, women's
clothes, flappers and the movies?' !
"Well," mused the column condnc- i
tor. 44in my younger days I was handy j
with tools. Maybe I could get a job j
In a garage."
Overlooking Nothing.
Kls Friend?Great Scott! That's a
fine pearl you just found. It's worth
at least $500.
Mr. Grabtail?Yes, and I broke a
tooth on It. As soon as I sell the i>earl
I'm going to sue this restaurant keep- !
er for damages.
Girls Will Be Boys.
"What did the young man say when |
you told him you would be a sister to j
hlin?"
"He declined with thanks. Ho said
he already had two sisters who bor-,
rowed his golf clothes." ,
School for Recruits.
Sergemt?What :s understood by a
theoretical instruction?
Been*it?-It's an instruction which is
not practical.
ALL imSNAKES
Members of Uncle Sam's Forestry
Service Protected.
J ^
Uncle Sam's forestry service Is e ter
on the watch against rattlesnakes to
the national forests. Arrangements
were some time ago perfected for l:ha
arming of forest officers and flre-fighters
against snake bites. The
weapon provided for them la a.
small combination tool containing a
sharp steel lancet and * receptacle tohnlfl
ntirtnonornnnto nf TirwtociK whl/VH.
? v'v* V* yf\S LUOii, TT illVAl
Is declared to be the best antidote for
snake bites. This remedy may not be
altogether popular in districts where
from time immemorial the old-time
favorite remedy, whisky, is held to
have no equal, but. nevertheless, the
official sanction has been given permanganate.
The necessity for furnishing forest
officers with adequate means of protection
against attacks by snakes has
time and again been strikingly demonstrated
in the case of big forest fires. v
After the fires were thought extinguished
and the men withdrawn it was
discovered that the fire had broken out
again. Squads of men were dispatched
immediately to fight them and on thfelr
' way they ran into a regiment or two
of rattlesnakes. In one case It seemed
as if the brush was literally alive with
snakes. The men consumed the gretter
part of six hours fighting snakes beI
fore they could get through to the fire,
I Several of the men were bitten.
| Officials of the forestry service an
I sert that rattlesnakes are us plentiful
i in Montana as in southern California ^
| forests and in sections of the southern
Appalachians, acquired in 1915 under
the Weeks law.
The little tool with which the forest
guards are armed can be carried conveniently
in the vest pocket, bdng
| only a trifle large? than an ordinary
j fountain pen and not as long. IndfcI
?i -J..- 1 /v# I *Tll
j VIUUH1 t** CTTO IH UIC vuu?u WMitv
j Geological Surrey here been utdflg
I these little tools fibr t long time ~?id
| with great sneeesa.
j Field parties of gestagistg freqaeoBy
i sud across flftakea. If afsmd wtfh. * 1
| these rest pocket tlrsiwM lustrajt
a bitten man Quickly ?pens up Que
j wound with the lancet, shakes In a thtte
of the antidote ami rasooea kta
| work, apparently none the worse tor
I the attack.
v timber surrey crews of the foeevfgjr
service frequently buttle With mates.
It & lettered that they hare the wont
time of all to thia relafoo.
A Tsoutrtod ConooJsaeSt 1
A Norwegian, John Lasson by narSt,
a lumberman had a couple of Swedes J
-working for him* (tok^toT'one of 4
the Swedes 'got a little treefc and the
N'jrwegian Threw him into the ^
Then the other Swede got into an argument
with him, and he. too, went ^
Into ihe river and wais drowned. ?
In aix>ut six years John's con- 1
science began to bother him. He
went down to the sheriff, Ole Oieson,
and said:
"Ola, sax yar ago Ay kill a couple I
? * ? l? I
Swides, and my conscience i? ve-giu
to bother. What skull Ay do?"
"Veil, I dunno, John. Ay bane
sheriff only 18 months and dunno the
rules. You better go and see Knute
Nelson, the county clerk. Maybe he know
what to do."
So John proceeded to the county
clerk's office, and there unloaded his
troubled mind. Knute, after hearing
the story, took down a big book,/
rushed through its pages, then took
^own another book, and studied it
Finally, looking a bit puzzled, he
spoke up:
"There ain't no bounty on them,"
he said.?Exchange.
Alarming. ":A
certain actor who shall be nameless
here but who has* been known
for his matrimonial adventures, ^one
day approached a physician and asked
for a thorough physical examination*
j "I want to see that I'm fil for a good
i many years yet, doc," he said. "Ton
I know I'm to be married again soon,
| for the fifth time."
"H-Tn-ro," muttered the examiner as
he put the stethoscope to the actors
j heart. "Of course this fifth lad/ is the f
! only girl In the world for you, and this ; f
i.'
j is positively your lasr mammoami ,-p
j ventured j?
| 4,oh, come, doctor." cried the ; ^
i thesplan, much alarmed. "I'm not as
| had off as that, am I?"?American
| Legion Weekly. \^jjk
Altogether Too Tame. ; ^
One was twelve and the other was v
i eleven?Ethel and May let's call them, j *
i because those are not their names,
j They had their usual weekly one afternoon
at the movies and, as it was "J
their custom to sit through the reel H
for a second showing, they were not '
expected home at the hour they
showed up.
"Wha4, was the matter with the show
that you didn't see it through twice?"
was asked. . ;
"Oh," was the boreu reply, "the
man was mnrripd and hnd n fnmilv
and there was no lovemnking."
: j |
No Fish Stories for Hirru
"Why don't you take a rest and go
i fishing?"
| "I never go fishing." replied Sena!
tor Sorghum.- "A nittn in my position
I has trouble erough in keeping up hit
reputation for strict veracity without
j Jeopardising It Id pastims,* y'
A
p
'