The Manning times. (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, May 29, 1901, Image 4
M'LAURIN SPEAKS.
[Continued from page 1.]
jI rl -esser, lived but a few shcr: wen s.
Govc -nor Ellerbe tendered me the nom
iu.ion. I realized the rsdioxl nature
of some of my utteranet s a::d votes. and
while I could not foresee w as has hap
pcred, I knew my ra ure well enouih
to feel certain that having once enalisted
ia -he fight I gould rever tu-n back
while life lasted. , tLerefore, refused
to accept the appointment at the bands
of Governor Ellerbe unless he would
guarantee that the Executive Ccmmit
tee would order a primary and permit
the people to pass uron the issues
which I had raised.
CAMPAIGN OF 197.
It is unnecessary for me to refer to that
bitter fight. You all remember the meeting
in Greenville, whet e 1 was inaulted, bullied
and baited like some wild beast, it was a
eample of some of the rest. For myself I
am willing to -Let the dead past bury its
dead." I have no ill feelitg towards any
one on accunt of it. I spoke, I believe, in
every county in the State outside of my Con
gressional District except three. I advocated
my views not only on the .ariff but on what
I considered the real line cf policy to be
pursued by Southern Representatives. I
carred about eighty per cent. of the vote
cast and every county except three, whiah
were lost from local consideratiins by sma'l
margins. I wth I had time to rccount to
the people what the rice schedule, which I
got into that bill, has done for the rice plan
ters on the coasts of South Carolina, the
waste places it has redeemed, the thousands
of dollars it has brought into this State.
What the duty on pine has done for the lum
ber interests, which were being sacrificed ?o
the white pine imported free tf duty from
Canada. The Nortb, which is almost bare of
timber, instead of going to Canada, ha . been
forced to go South, and that has put thous
azds of dollars into this State. There is no
telling what an arrangement of the sihedule
on cotton goods s> as to prevent discrimina
tion against coarse faarics, has meant to the
cotton mills of the South.
COTOS PLSTEnS SACRIFICED TO A SENTIENT.
This is not the place to explain what the
retention of the home market means when a
manufacturer seeks a foreign outlet. I will
refer, however, to the duty on raw cotton,
which I advocated at the time * Cott-n, corn
and wheat are our great exports. Now I
want to ask any man of reason, why it is
that a duty of twenty-five cents per bushel
is put on wheat, and fifteen cents per bushel
on corn, while nothing is put upon cotton?
The three stand exactly upon the
same basis. It is this, Northern Rep
resentatives protect corn and wheat against
importations from Canada andelnewhere,
while cotton has been sacrificed to a
mere sentiment. I think that I am the
first Representative in Congress to point out
the danger to the cotton p anters arising
from the. importation of Egpy tian cotton.
Ten years ago there were no importations to
speak of. The year I made this speech
there was in round numbers fifty-six millions
of pounds and last year there was almost
seventy millions, an increase of nearly twen
ty per cent. Since then two mills have been
built in South Carolina (in one of which I am
interested) using nothing but Egpytian cot
ton. Now I contend, if the cotton farmers
were protected like the wheat and corn plan
ters, we could produce any kind of cotton
that is needed. South Carolina. is the home
of the cotton plant. No cotton comes
into competition with our Sea Island
cotton, and common sense tells me.
that we can develop any grade needed
between that and the short staple. Ten
years ago the "Allen long staple" was
planted all over upper South Carolina, and I
know of some men who boughot gins especial
ly adapted to this cotton, but they had to
throw them away. Egyptian cotton has
driven them out of the business. The red
hills of this up country are the veryi place
where this cotton should be grown, but h. w .
can we develop it in competition with the
cheap labor of Egypt? What are we doing
now, m r eting and passing resolutions to re
duce the acreage while English engineers are
Constructing dams in the valley of the Eile,
which within two years will add one million
end onehalf bates or one eighth to the cotton
crop; while we are reducing the acreage here
our competitors are increasing it, and we
are to furnish the market for the increase.
I say, away wish the impractical statesman
ahip which will sacrdfice the c tion planters
of south Carolina to those of Egypt. After
I was elected to the Senate I attempted to
pursue the same line in everything, but I was
very ill for a long time after my carapaign,
confined to my bed at one time for seven
weeks. These terrible camtaigns~ of ours in
the heat of summer, making eueeches day
after day, sitting for four or five hours, your
clothes wet with perspiration, in the sun,
and one-half the time withor.t dinner, there
are but few men who have gone through with
it and not had their health impaired. I have
no doubt but that it shortened the days of the
gallant Earle end even rugged John Irby.
TE TEEATT WrITH SPAIN.
While I waa in this physical an5 mental
eendition, the war with Spain camo on and I
had to grapple with these new questions. I
was sick, heart, body and soul. All that I
wanted was peace and to be let alone, The
cruel taunts end sneers of "itpubliCan and
traitor hurt me then, while I can laugh at
them now. I made up my mind not to create
any further issues, but tamely fall in and
follow the lead of Jones, Tillman, Pettigrew
& Co., and then to quietly retire at the end
of my term. My intimate friends know that
this was my intention. When they con
cluded to defeat the treaty, I could not see
what great harm could come to the country
from forcing the Republicans to call an extra
session. It would only postpcne matters
by one month, At the request of some of
the Democratic leaders, I madea speech, not
against the treaty but agnt Imperialism,
which speech was at the time, and with the
lights before me, my opinion. I had not
drawn the distinction between Expansion and
Imperialism, and I fully intended to vote
against the ratification of the treaty, I was
so tired of being abused and accused of dis
loyalty to my party. At that time,; how
ever, I' contended in private that the
rejection of the treaty was unwise
even from a party standpoint. I had
then, as I have now, very littie confidence in
the political sagacity of Senator James K.
Jones, end I believed that Senator Gorman
was at heart en Expansionist, because he
voted for the acquisition of the Hawaiian
Islands, end I suspected him of an ambition
after Mr. Bryan advised the ratification of
the treaty, to defeat it and thus supplhnt
himnin the leadership. Not that I objected
to ends, for Gorman :s -a conservative man,
admight have been elected President the
last time, could he have commanded the no
mination. However, on Sunday afternoon,
the day before the treaty was to be voted
upon, the news was flashed over the wires
that our troopahad been fired upon by the
very people whom we had freed from the
tyranny of Spanish oppressionThis presented
an entirely new situation end before I had
finished reading the "extra" the correspon
dents of the New York Sun and I think of
the World, called at my house before I had
consulted with any human being, and I ex
pressed this opinion, as the files of the news
papers will show. One month of delay might
mean serious consequences to the people of
the United States. It must be remembered
that Spain had the sympathy of ent're Eu
rope, end after the battle of Manilla noth
ing but the tact of Dewey and the attitude
of England prevented us from being forced
into a war for which we were totally unpre
pared. To defeat the treaty meant that we
were still at war with Spain, and that our
soldiers were intruders in the Philippine Is
land. To ratify the treaty meant nat a state
of war, but a mere insurrection and deprived
other nations of an ezecse for interference.
It seems to me any way, that no matter what
the situation or causes may be, that the only
piosition for a man to take when we are en
gaged in a foreign war is to stand by his own
country, right or wrong. ILet me review the
situation a moment. In the first place, I
had not, as long as it could be avoided, been
in favor of the war, and had but little sy m
pathy with the intiammatory addres s made
in Congress, which emtarrassed the Presi
dent in his humane e ffuris to avert the war,
I could not but look with distrust upon. those
men who forced the war on by frantic appeals
-a then,4the ver moment tha ot nfi lities
were begun, criticised every movement made
to bring war to a speedy and successful end. ri
It was a small and pretty pait for benators h
to play. Aguiraldo had many warm sympa- f
thizers in Congress, who conipared him to o
--George Washington" and his half nake til
followers to the heroes of King's Mountai-i d
and Bunker Hll Scame of them now can- s,
not conceal the chagrin which they feel at tl
the (apture of Aguinaildo and the cessation of i
hostilitie., It is charged that niy vote rati- p
fied the treaty and s-o,)pc I the wa-. If so. 4
I am proudi of the fact, and I am th cnkful y
th .t I had the strength to do my duty and a
cast that vote 1 fear that. I would not have a
had the courage to do it, had I not felt that fo
my .ote was abzolutely neceEsary; but realiz
ing 'he farreachiog effect and the fearful re
sponsibility, I cast my vote accordingly. I
hav never see-' the :ay when 1 regretted it, n
and my children will remember it after I am p
dead, with pleasure and pride, as the most c
glorious act of my life.
a
EXPANCioiL,
I wll not undertake to demonstrate the
wisdom of expansion, but will content my- '1
self by simply sayi:2g that we are a nation of a
expansionists. We have expanded during I
the last one hundred yeas on this continent v
from eight hundrei thousand 1 o four mi lion t
square miles. Exansion is the bed-rock of 1
Democracy. Thomas Jefferson, the first b
expansion President. added 1,122,000 square t
miles to our area. The annexation of Tex as, 1i
California. Arizmna., New Mexico and Nevada P
were by D mocrat.c Administrations. An- b
drew Jackeon would today be denounced as V
an Imperialist by the very same people who t
eat "Jackson day dinners" and worship at J1
his shrine. Old Hicko-y said on this sub- b
ject, ' I have thought with the ancient Ro- It
man, that it is right never to cede any ter- a
ritory within the boundary of the R-public, -l
butalways to add to it by honorable treity, V
thus extending the areaof freedom." All a
this talk about imperialism is bosh. The a
pecple understand it as the cry of -'wolf," n
when there is no wolf. When'Mr. Brjan g
abandoned the money question and at b
tempted to substitute ' Imperialism," he stood b
about as much chance of being elected as a b
a split-foot bull-frog did of kicking all the s(
water out of Lake Michigan. At least. that 8
is the opinion of a friend of mine. The price U
paid far these i-lands has been given as an e
objection This is absurd. England, France, r
Germany, Russia or Japan would pay ten 61
times as much to occupy our poition in the e:
Pai ippine Islands. Lying as they do along a
the Asiatic coast, they are the gateway to the i
Orient. g
Tne people of the South are vitally in
tert sted in the trade of China; so far, we n
have only touched one of the provinces. 0
Minister Wu, the other night in Charlotte, b
told of the teeming milhois in South China, P
and s;id the great problem was to clothe the a
people. They are forced to use silk to make
their clothes, but that this was expensive and 0
almost an impossibility. I am told that,
for fear of wearing them out, the Chinese
very rarely wash their clothes. I have
heard it wittily said that the chief difference
between the Chinese and Japanese is, that R
the former never wash their clothes, and the 0
latter never wath their body. I 'believe it 0
was Mr. Wu who said the other night, to I
teach the hinese to wear cotton shirts and
then get the emperor to issue an edict to make
the tails only one inch longer, and the cot
ton crop of the South would be exhausted by
that one inch, and none left for Europe. If a
any argument was needed to show the im q
portance of these markets, the effect of 8
receDt troubles in China is sufficient. Cot
ton goods are stacked u in the warehouses d
unsalable, and when the best judges thought b
last fall that cotton would be twelve and one
half to fifteen cents per pound ithas declined P
more than three cents. I am an expan P
sionist-I favor the political, commercial and
religious expansion of our country. This is 6
along the line of progress. We ca' not at
tain a cerpin growth and then stand still. S
As in the individual, so in the nation We 'i
either move forward towards perfection, or
backwards towards decay. There are car
tain crises in the life of every man which ~
seized leads to success, let them pa~s and th9 *
chance is lost for-ver. The capacity to take b
advantage of the opportunity constitutes the b
difference between the man who sucreeds s
aod the one -who fai s, and so it is with !
naions. We have grandly seized our op- "
portunities, and I for one am in favor of
pushing it to the limit. During the past il
century we have been absorbed in testing n
the great question of constitutional represen- i
sative government and the development of it
America. The time has now come when we !
must have foreign trade, and not merels E
subsidiary to our industrial development at si
home but as necessary to our continue I n
prosperity. Our resources and population g
demand world-wide avenues of trade, and oa
we cannot separate the commercial and T1
political elen ente involve]. What are we to
do with our surplus producta? Thiu is the el
question engainig the attntion of all the e
civilized nations of the earth. .The outy b
field unoccupied is in the Orient I believe 13
that the time is near at hand when the cot- it
ton trade of the South wil. be with the Ori ti
ent. When our commerce on the Atlantic ii
will be insginificant compared with that of a
the Pacific Minister Wu gave us some p
valuable informa-ion at Charlotte. Our TI
manufacturers are reaching out for this li
trade, and what better can I do as you Sena- r
tor -Than help them. No State will reap a r
richer reward than South Carolina, with all ii
the water power and manufacturing develop- a
ment in the Piedmont reg on, and with three p
such-harbors as Charleston, Georgetown and ft
Port Royal. How can I better sere the 5'
farmers of this State? They will share in the ii
benefits of this trade. Here is the United n
States midway between Europe and Asia b
Almost an island when the canal is cut- p
with the Gulf of' Mexico on the South and a1
the Great Lakes on the North; the Atlantic e:
on one side and the Pacific on the other, and a
with the people of two continents tilding
for our products, the possibilities dazzel the
imagmnation. lt is no idle dream. I believe
that most of the people within the sound of a
my voice will live to see it realized W e have
become a pacific power with 5,000 miles of '
coast on that ocean; with the IHawaiian 0
Islands. and Aleutian Islands as resting a
places, and the Philippines as a key to the 1
"Open Door," we are the only nation strong C
enough to 'ompel Russia, with her trans- n
siberian Rai road, to respect the integrity P
of the Chinese Empire. As long as the d
United States and Japan say "No," the Chi- "
nese Empire must remain intact and the door d
be left open to our products When I think ~
of how'strangely it has all come about I can a
not but believe that the hand of God is guid g
ing this government, and that he has watch
ed over and directed us along the path
whers lie greatness, peace and prosperity. I
canno)t undertake to discuss the question of
a gos ernent for these onilying possessions;f
we have settled other problems of a more
complex nature, and I cannot but believe I
that a solution will be found just; humane t
and satisfactory to all concerned. My vote
on the Army Bdl has been att oked. e
SOT THE FIRST TIME soUTH cAROLINA HAS
nISEN ?Aova PARTY.
It was a long the line of supporting the I
foreign policy of this government. Let me s
say right here, that I am nct the first Con. 1I
gressman from South Carolina who has voted s
against his party and supported the Presi
dent when it cane to a question of a foreign 1
war. Three of the greatest men that South z
Carolina has ever produced, Calhoun, is
Lowndes and Cheves, supported the govern- i:
ment against their party during the war of1
1812. CJheves used these words, which I re i
peat from the bottom of my heart: "Irre- 1:
spective of party, for the great interest of I
the nation."c
In connection with the fight now in pro- I
gr ess against me, the first protective tariff jt
bill ever introdtuced was by a Sout h Carolina S
Rtepresenn tive, Lowndes, ard advocated t
by Mr. Calhoun in one of the gratest speeches I
of his life. I his is rot. the first time that our a
gallant little State has risen abore section 'I
and acted for the interest~ of the nation. a
The Army Bill provided for a maximum of n
one hundred thousand men and a minimum F
of sixty five thousand, and between these c
amounts the dliscretion was left to the Presi- 'V
dent. At that time the insurrection was in
progress, and my common sense told me
there was but one of two things to do.
Either put enough men in the field to crush a
the rebellion; or quit and come home. I e:
believed in the former plan, and so voted. t,
Fellow-citizens, there is a great deal of o
clap-trap talked even in the United Statese A
Senate. About one-half of those mournful ti
speeches on the greait danger of "Imperial- fr
ism" and '-Militarism'' were for home con- di
sumption and the most of them were made it
after comfortable beefsteak and a bottle of c
Mumm's Extre Dry." I see that since the
.bellion is over, the President says that
a will take the minimum amount. Sarely.
low citizens, I cou'd affrrd to tru't a mar
2a question of that kind whom tne people
ke United Stat s bad elected to the Presi
ency. Wby not exeicise a little common
:nte-it isasimple application of the zu e
tree. If an army of thirty thousand me::
required for a popula-ion of 35.000 00
eDple, is an army Or 0.000 men too much
r a ratioa of -76,000 Q00? Congress sas fr
ears been spending money along the coat.
Lid buying expensive guns, and abzolutely
any of taem are 1ing out and rusting
r want of men
THE SUBSIDY BILL.
Now, fellow-citizens, this brings me t> the
tuch-discussed Subsidy Bill. la the firs
lace, it is astonishing to me what a mis
nception there is as to this matter. There
as never been a vote on the Subsidy Bill
nd yet, even my good friend, General But
tr, whom I love like a father, speaks o
McLaurin's vote on the Subsidy Bill.'
here never was a vote on the Subsidy Bill
nd it was well understood a the time tha
made my speech that there would not be a
ote at that s ission. If I desired to deceive
se people and play an unworthy part,
ig .t just as well have kep - si ent and not
ad that issie in this cmpaign; bit I fell
ist the people stiouli be educated on this
nportant rneasure. 3My vote was of n<
ractical .value under any circumstances
ecause, if it could have been brought to a
ote, there was a msjoity of eignteen t<
renty in favor the bill. I did not intend
Let at that time to make a set speech on the
til. I arose in my seat te present the reso
tiOn of the Cotton Spinners' Association,
2d before I knew it I had drifted into a
>eech on the general principles of the bill.
hat is known as the Hanna-Payne Bil has
.ready been changed so much that the
ithors of the bill would not know it if they
et it in the road. There was at the time a
-eat many amendments pending, and no
dy ever hnows what a bul of that sort will
) until it passes the Conference Conmittee
tween the two :ouses; this bill never went
far as to get a vote, lIt'alone a conference.
> far as I am concerned, I do act profess
be a matter of the subj ect. When you
ter the realm of ocean freights, with the
tlative cost of high knot and Low knot
eed, tonnage and wages it akes an
s.ert to understand, &:. Senator Frye is
very able man, and I do not believe there
a more honest one in. the American Con
ess. tie has devoted twenty-five .ears to
Le s'udy of these questione, and yet I have
)doubt that you could find some members
the South Carolina Legislature whi never
w a bigzer ship than a canoe on a mil
>nd, who know more than Senator Frye, or
2ybady else, on the subject of sh pping and
ean freights.
LY A "STEAL" WHEN NOT COMING THEIS
WAY.
One of the great objections to the sub
dy is they call it a "steal." Well, fel
w-citizens, that it a very poor argument
?ponents of the river and harbor, prstoffice
r any other bill can make th e saute charge
was a little amused to see the head-lines o
te News and Courier, "The Sbip Subsidj
tea!," when in the same week the Mayor o
hatleston and the edtior of that paper wer<
kWashington wanting nine million dollar
ent on a naval station, and a subsidy of a
arter of a million for the Fxpositton. It
)ems that a subsidy is only a "steal when i
not coming their way. By such foolish
enunciations of the subsidy priniole it has
een difficult to get a fair consideration
alk about lobbies. There never wac a more
werful lobby in Washington ths.n that op
Ned to the subsidy forme.t by the grem
-sns continental railroads and the foreign
teamship owners. I may say something
ter on this subject which will embaras
>me people,'but will refrain at this time
here is nothing in the principle of ttie bill
self which involves stealing. defrauding the
yernment of sectional advantages. There
ay have been some abiuses in granting sub
dies when it was in the experimental stage,
at there is no reason -now why there should
Sabuses. In 'he administration of any law
tere is a chance of'abase, and yet the law
ay be a good one; the abuses being mereld
Lident to its executlion.
This is what the friends of probibition and
te dispensary each claim. Subsidies a-re
o new theory in the South. Conventioni
ere held during the twenty years preced
g the war to a nourage the building up oi
e commerce and industries of 'he South,
ayne, Calhoun and McDuffe were leading
rtts in thiese enterpr.ses. The establish.
ent of railroad and steamship lines b)
vernment aid was advocated. South Car.
ioa.subsidized railroa s befors the war
w mailion dollars were given to construct
x B~ue Ridge Road, which has neve: beer
>mpleed 1 think I can sa ibat nearae
ery line of road constructed in this State
eore the war was subsidized. either direct'
' or indirect y. The Leg-slature of Luis
na gra'.tei a subs~dy of $5.00 per ton
er every vessel of more than 10') tons bailt
Ste Svste. Alabama g ive $4.t00 a ton,
d exempted from taxasion au goods im
rted into the State from fareign countries
he National 'Uoverninent connected the At
stic and the Pacific by subsidizing rail'
>ads and in this policy we have unequaled
iroad facihties, and n'tve d -veloped out
itertate traffic to such an extent that we
re now forec~d to seek an outle-, for our sur
tus produrts, All that is propose.l, is to
how in developing our forr'ign trade the
tie principl-s that have suc'ceeded in our
iternat development. Is the -e anything
aw or strange in this? It is good commnor
siness sense. Whd~t difference in prinCI
I is there between the State Governmen1
tbsidizing railroads, and the Federal Gov
-nnent steamship lines?
BAT Dozs BRYAN THIEK or HIS POLITICAi
PARTNER or 1896?
I have in my hand an artic'e a-ivocatir9
ibsidies by Mr. Sewall, who was on the
ryan ticket in 18%t~. I would like to know
hat Mr. Bryan thinks of the "Democracj
~his recent political partner, since he hat
.acked mine." T wenty years ago, whet
e wished to develop manufacturing in Soutl
arlina, dii we not subsidize s.very cotter
ill by exempting it from taxation? What
rgressive town or county has not subsi
ized railroads or other enterprises essen,
al to its development? I never saw an in
ividual, who ever a'r ounted to any thintg
bo was afraid tze spend money on himself
id so i- is with towns, coun i s States anc
verments.
voTING SUBSIDIES TO RAIROADS AND
NEWSpAPERs.
Why should the Southern people, in the
,ce of these facts, repudiate the spirit of six
r years ag->? What a gross inconeistency
e Senators and R tprenant itives to denounce
se subsidy principle and endeavor to arimse
so prejudices f the people, when nearlj
rery one of them from the South each yeat
otes a subsidy to the Southern Railroad foi
iry ing the fast mal to New Orleans.
Why, fellow citizens, they voted for
ostoffice Appropriation Bill at the last ses
Ln with a subsidy of thirty five millio:. dol
rs for carrying thne mails. It is really
absidy to the magazines and newspapez s o
se country, for the receipts are that mudl
ss than the expenditures for that class o:
al. A subsidy of nine n illions per yeal
much more defensible, in my judgment
a the development of our foreign trade
fe spend millions of dollars building rays
esels, useful only in times of war, why no1
ild vessels useful both in war and peace
very vessel accepting the eubsidy is apart
f the navy in time of war. The question i
ot as to the principle of the subsidy bill,
st is a part of our established policy, botb
tate an National, but it is whether this par
clar subsily is for the general welfare,
it expedient? Is it wise? I shall devote
few moments t> this aspect of the ease
here was a time when by government aid
nd encouragement, we had a merchani
irine, and carried ninety per cent of our
roducts abroad. Last year only nine pet
nt, was carried in American bottoms,
thy is this?
EUROPE vs. UNITED STATEs.
It is becaise in this contest of Europe
gainst the Un~ted States, foreign ship-own
-s get a subsidy from their Governments ol
renty million dollars besides the advantage
lower wages, and have thus driven the
.merican flag from the high seas. We pay
tie subsid y to the foreign ships in increased
eight rates over and over again. We are
rained of two hundred millions a year which
e pay foreign vessels in freights. No other
then, we are paying a subsidy, and hence it
is a question of whether we will subsidize
Ameiican or foreign vessels It is useless
for me to discuss before this intelligent audi
ence the importance of our foreign trade. If
Europe and the United S tILes are to be com
petitors in the markets or tie world, can we
afford to put uurselves entirely in their hand-.?
The power to fix freixht ratesgives them the
power to fix the price of our cotton, wheat
and manufactu'e i products.
Suppose there shoild be a general E-iro
pean war, and the merchaat marine o!
England, Germany and N rway was pressed
in I r trmnsport service. What woud. be the
effect on cotton and cotton goods? I tellyou
that you would ses cotton haule I into the
streets of Greenville and nt sold at three
oents. butsimply hauled back home. Taere
would be no bu.,ers, because there would be
no ships to carry cotton or cottoa goods
abroad, business of all kinds would languish,
and there would be failures on every hand
Conditions have changed-before the war we
were buyers abroad, now we are sellers. We
are asking foreigners not to exchange pro
ducts, but to come here to buy. Nothing
would suffer in case of a European war like
cotton. They would have to come here to
buy wheat, corn, bacon, mules and horses,
as England did in the Boer War, but they
c-uld do without cotttn forayearorso. All
the ships would be needed for war uses
Foodstuffs high and no sale for cotton, what
could hurt the South worse? What, then, is
more dependent on American ships than the
cotton crop?
Does any man of commen sense suppose in
this great cantest for the trade of the Orient
that the ships of Germany and England are
going to give us the same advantages that
they do their own merahants? As Mr.
Thurber, of New York, recently said, "Ervry
shi, is a missionary of trade, and steam
lines work for their own countries just as
railway lines work for their terminal point 5.
It is as absurd for the United States to rely
upon foreign ships to distribute her good j,
as it would be for one business house to re'y
upon the wagons of a competing house to
make its deliveries." There is no section to
vitally interested in ships as the South,
Why, Charleston, Mobile and New Orleans
should rival New York, a) far as harbors are
concerned We have already felt the bene
fits of our Asiatic trade, and in it lies the
possibilities of our future, but we must have
cheap freight, rapid transportation, and the
prestige of the American fi g over our own
ships. Our Southern ports are discrimina
ted against by the same great railroad lines
that are fighting the opportunity for an
American merchant marine We must have
a Southern commerce, not a S uthern trade.
Toat same influence has prevented the con
struction of rhe Nicaraguan Canal, and I
predict that there will be no canal, until its
friends and the advocates of a merchant ma
rinejoin forces and work ia harmony. ihe
two are inseparable. They will either fail
together or succeed together. W..en that
time comes, freights will move North and
South, inste id of East and West. Our ports
wi'l be the gateways, and the South will de
velop with unequalled rapidity. Cannot any
man of sense see that the money power head
ed by C. P. Huntington and Hill, with great
railway systems running East and West, do
not want freights deftected South? With this
change, the Seaboard, Coast Line sad South
ern would rival in greatness the three trans
continental lines. The producer of iaw
material will prosper, just in proportiotn to
the demand for his product. All that our
Souhern people have to do now is to be wise
anl conaervat.ve. and favor the great pub
lic'neasures looking to the promo:icn of the
material and industrial interests of t~he coun
try and the honor and glory of the nation.
DO YOUR OWN THINKING.
Fellow-citizens, with so many things
to talk about, it has not been possible for
me to do more than skim the surface,
but I hope I have been so fortunate as to
excite a desire on your part to investigate
for yourself and not let some old moss
back, who does not know that the war
has ended, do your thinking. These are
practical vital issues. As your Senator,
I have frankly stated my position. There
are two sides to these questions. I re
spect an honest difference of opinion,
but no man can impugn my motives suc
cessfully.
NOT AN AUTOMATON.
I never could answer th-e ends of an
automaton in politics or business. I
yield to the dictation of no man. It is
characteristic of a Scotchm'an to think
and act for himself. I have asserted and
will always assert my personal and po
litical individuality. I have blazed out
my own path m~ore than once in County,
State and National politics, and followved
it without regard to popular applause. I
made "Peace and unity" very popular
once in this State-too popular, in fact
'for some of those who once donounced
the "Leader cf the Movement;," nowv
grovel in the dust at the feet of their old
time toe, humbly content with the cur ses
that fall from his lips, for the sake of the
few crumbs that drop from the table.
REFUSES TO PREACH THE GosPEL OF
DEsPAIR.
If re-elected, as far as in me lies, my
voice and vote will be used in behalf of
those measures which make for hu
man progress and human happiness in
the present world; measures which
will unite and knit men into a wider
recognition of the brotherhood of man.
My voice will go, not to invoke party pre
judice and party passion, not to preach a
gospel of despair, not to help to create
bitterness, but to assist in its elimina
tion.
The rancor of party prejudice, the fo
ment of party spirit, the agitation for
public spoils and selfish ends, these arge
the fetters that clog, the manacles that
impede our national development, and
threaten our national life.
A COMMISSION TO STUDY CHINA IMmOR
TANT To THE so'TH.
When a measure is before Congress
proposing the creation of a non-partisan
commission of trained business men to
visit China, to investigate and report how
wider markets for American prodtucts
may be obtained among the eight hun
dred million of people who live in that
portion of the globe, a measure which
would be of more benefit to the cotton
spinners of the South than almost any
single economic measure eve: introduced
into Congress, shall I blindly follow the
lead of the modern apostles of Democra
cy and vote against it because the meas
ure originates upon the Republican side,
and because a Republican President
would have the naming of such commis
sion? For one, I have a higher concep
tion, not alone of my privilege, but my
dluty, to stand by and advance by every
honorable effort the interests of those
peonle through whose favors I have a
place in the halls of legislation. When
to be a successful politician one must ca
ter alone to prejudice and follow blind
passion in its leadership, I shall. even if
taunted by the latter-day saints of De
mocracy, prefer to believe that my con
duct is in strict accord with the policies
of those grand old Democratic heroes of
the past who in their day and age, gifted
with patriotism and wisdom, made the
Democratic party known throughout the
nation as party of progress as weli as the
party of power.
IS PROSPERITY so FRIGHTFCL A P11 N
TOM?
Whenever prosperity is so frightful a
phantom that I must either get scared at
that phantom or stand by the issues
that promote prosperity, you need not
fear that I shall dodge. Whe:2ever car
tain "latter-day saints attempt to force
me to the acceptance of the doctrine that
a dead issue of the past is a vital force
in the living present, I shall make my
personal protest. Whenever, to be an
acceptable Democrat, according to the
definition of a-party led by Allen, Petti
grew and Teller, I must attack and. op
p)ose every man and every meass re that
is not marching back ward, I shall reserve
to myself the right to state that South
Carolina turns her face with hope and
with courage towards the future.
Whenever, in the face of a pending po
litical contest, one must have a cold chill
each time cotton goes from five to twelve
cents or wheat to a dollar a bushel; each
time cattle or hogs go up a cent a pound;
each time he reads an advance of tea per
cent. in wages; each time he sees a no
our great industrial army; each time tha1
an old. lingering mortgage is cancelled;
each time that he sees a new roof pui
upon the house and a few more comforts
for the old mother at the fireside; eaci
time lie sees the burdens of domestic toil
lightened for the weary wife, to be con
polled to have a chill for fear Mr. Bryan'
chances would be hindered by each and
all of these varied cheunstances during
the last three or four years, would havc
kept me in a perpetual shiver. For my
self, rather than be a sufferer from at
imaginary ague, I shall prefer toglory ir
these evidences of prosperity and happi
ness, rather than conjure them up a
specters even if some politician's chance
are thereby lessened.
When to be approved by "the latter
day saints of Democracy" as a consistent
pa-ty man, one must turn his back to thE
rising sun and watch alone its setting,
and when, instead of viewing the glorie
of the morning, he must conjure up tli
phantoms of night, I shall rest conteni
to place my faith in those immortal prin
ciples, which the fathers of Democrac
promulgated, at the f rmation of om
government and whizh have been sea1et
by the devotion of patriotic men and con
secrated by the blood of heroes.
When marching'from a condition o
misery, when fleeing from a land o
Sodom, must one needs look back witl
yearning?
When, like the cho:sen of God, escapinc
from the task-masters of Egypt, anc
marching towards the land of promis<
flowing with milk and honey, with wealt
of corn, vine and olives, abounding ir
fatness, must we still attempt to satisf3
the morbid cravings of that appetito
which yet yearns for the fleshpots o:
Egypt?
GIVE THE YOUNG MEN OF THE S:UTH J
cHANcE.
When pig iron was stRoked up in the
yards at Chattanooga and Birmingham
unsalable at six dollars per ton. furnace,
cold, men idle, and I now find furnace
blazing, yards empty, men working, an<
customers knocking at the door to bu]
that iron at prices which have range
from sixteen to twenty dollars per ton
when, instead of four cents. I sold ml
cotton this year at eleven, shall L as ,
loyal citizen of this glorious Southland
with the visions of the greatness that i
before her, standing as she does at thf
open door of opportunity, shall I follov
the leadership of a Pettigrew, Altgelt, o:
Tillman; or shall I exert every honorabl<
effort in my power to make the preseni
measure of prosperity but as a fain
glimpse of the coming morn, compare
with the splendor of the sun at its me
ridian?l
Am I to be turned from my course
conscious of the absolute unselfishnes!
of my purpose, to do all that may lie i
my power for the welfare ar.d happines,
of the people whom I love; am I to bi
deterred from my course, because som4
political wolves are heard howling upoi
my track?
I see before me a mother, who ovei
and again has with bowed head and in
finite yearning asked herself. "How ma:
I se rear my son that he may go out int<
the world and achieve success?" Thi:
has been a sterner problem in the S'outl
than in the North. The diversity o
manufacturing industries has left th<
avenues of success wide open for thi
young men of the North, while to th
young men of the South there have beer
but few avenues open for those rightfu
ambitions which fire the heart of ever3
youth. I would, it in my power, befor
I am called home from my labors, pro
mote a condition where I might see thesi
boys-one, perhaps. the president- of .
great factory, the other perhaps the trea
surer or secretary, another the manager
and another perhaps as the sales agent
establishing markets for South Carolin:
products throughout the world. A]
men cannot be lawyers, clergymen o
bankers, but every boy with the traininj
of a good mother, and the education af
forded by our public schools, has a rea
ronable right to aspire to the proudes
positions of eminence in the world'finan
cal, industrial and commercial. I woul,
if in my power, promote the conditio:
where your sons might go out into th
broad avenues of life with every impend
ing barrier torn down, where the bo,
upon the poorest farm in South Carolina
or the son of the least paid operative a
the mill, could march out with hope an<
courage, and, having been taught thos
lessons at the mother's knee which inus
ever be his guiding star, find that oppoi
tunity for success and eminence whici
his qualities command.
With thb~ great race problem, whic]
has for so many years confronted us
happily settled, as I said at Charlotte
"why shonld we be miserable slaves o
one party and a foot-ball for the other?
Let it be understood that the industria
and commercial interest of the Souti
come before the interest of any politi
cian. I cannot believe that narrowness
bigotry, prejudice or the arts of the wvil;
politician, sh->uld be permitted to swerv
us from a course which leads to the at
tainment of these objects, which brin;
in their train blessings to every farmi an<
ireside, to every hearth and home, in ou
grand old commonwealth.
Why should the achievement of som
narrow political ambition stop the youn,
men of the South from the opportunit
of winning the same success whichi
open to the young 'men of the North
Some twelve years ago, a boy of Germai
parentage just out of a little school nea
Pittsburg, went to work in an iron mill
Quick, active, wvilling, obliging, -he wa
soon promoted to a position in thi
draughiting office. A short time after
ards he was promoted as assistant fore
man, then as foreman, then -as superin
tendent, then as manager, then as presi
dent, and to-day he stands as presiden
-'f the largest corporation that th<
world has ever known, and by commoi
report draws a salary of one million do]
lars per year. This is an extreme case
but merely an example of thousands an<
tens of thouands of similar cases in thi
North. I cannot beiieve that there ar.
higher intelligence, treater capacity o.
truer wvorth, to be found anywhere tha:
among the youth of our State. The dif
ference arises alone from conditions anc
environment.
What father or mother, what good pa
triotic citizen, what Christian man, then
would censure me, realizing as I do th<
marvelous advantages that South Care
ina possesses for manufacturing. anc
recognizing the infinite possibilities o
development, if I hope that that develop
ment shall come speedily as a blessing t<
you and yours.
Can there be a commercial triumph
an industrial success, that will not brin;
pleasure to my heart? I believe that th
intelligence and the Christian patriotisir
of the people of this State will arise tc
a conception of our grand possibilities
If my life shall be preserved to witnes:
this marvelous triumph, do you thi
the attacks made upon me by selfish, ig
norant men, with their own purposes t<
sere, wvill not ba forgotten, or, at least,
the wounds they may leave will hav<
healed, and even those who condemn to
day wvill join with me in a shout o.
thanksgiving that will stir every hearl
capable of lofty sentiment.
A Village Swept Away.
A dispatch from Charlotte, N C,
says reports from remote counties ii
the mountain districts show great de
strction by the storm. In Bakeraville
sixteen residences a'id the Baptisi
church were washed away. Q into:
Moore and his son were drowned.
Every house in Magnetic City, a vil
lage in Mitchell county, was destroyed
At Roan Mountain station, 20 resi
dnces were swept away. Six large
stores on Big R~ck creek were carried
away and one man, John McKinney,
drowned, while an unknown man was
killed by a landslide.
Heavy Losses.
The damage to the Asheville divisiot
of the Southern railway oy the recent
flood is estimated at a half million dol
las. For several days Ashville was
completely cut off from the outside
worldt
BOTi RESIGNED.
Tillman and McLaurin Vacate
Their Seats in Senate
TO MEET ON ThE STUMP.
'the Resignation to Tak, Effect
in Nvembt r. The Peepte in
Primary to Recommand
Their Successors.
The meeting of Senators Tillman and
McLaurin in joint debate at Gaffney
on Saturday had a mast sensational
ending, being nothing less than the
resignation of bath Tillman and Me
Liurin as Senatora from South Cara
lina. Tillman had six years to serve
and Mr L-turin a year and ten months,
but they have unconditionally resigned
in or der that they might go before the
people and test thcir Atrength, the un
derstanding being that this test shall
decide whether tne people endorse
Senator McLaurin's Democracy with its
expansicn, ship subsidy and "commer
cial" idea3 or tlat of Senator Tillman,
w th wi-a McLaurin calls his Bryan
Demceracy. Serator McLaurin sought
to narrow the fierce contest to Tillman
and himself, whereas Senator Tillman
insisted on resignatin as originally
p oposed on the ground that he cmuld
n~t diotate to the Democratic conmit
t!e as towho shenldbein the race or
when i5 should be.
Tillman in his speech hid hammered
and hammered away at the idea that
McLaurin bad betrayed the tiue Da
mccraoy and that if he were not a Re
publican he ought to be, for he had sup
ported all propositions and doctrines.
Tillman urged that the decent thing for
McLaurin to do-the only proper thing,
was for him to resign his position and
go before the people and if they endors
ed him, be returned, or stay at home if
defeated. McLaurin had deserted the
party p'atform and ought to re iin at
I once, le persisted.
Senator MeLaurin in turn insisted
that he was a Democrat and that on
natioral issues he was free to st with
independence and did so. Tillman
said "iet McLaurin resign and go be
fore tle Demicratie primary this year
and I'll go home and keep my mouth
shut and let the'other fellows attend to
him. If 5ou elect him, 1 take it as
notice that yei don't want me. If he
is. a Democrat then I am not." Then,
McLaurin, turning on Tillman, sug
gesaei that Tillman always found a
bomb proof, and then Senstor McLu
rin went on to sa): ' Oh yes, Tillman
says why don't I resign? If I'm elected
it will mean the people don't want him,
but he stopped theze; he is smart. UYou
never oa'ch him committing himself
too far He did not say if I'm elceted
he would resign. 0,1 oa will never
bear of Benjamin Tillman resigning.
S-tnator Tillman jampcd up and said:
I will say it, ana do say it " Scnator
MeLaurin: "Agreed." Tiliman: "i'd
resign right now if you will, and we
Swil go before tbe people." MoLaurin:
"Agreea." Tillman, "Draw up the
- par'ea a'nd we'll sign it right now.''
M ~cLnarin: "That suits me." Latt r on
in Tillman's five mitu~es' reply, he xe
marked that he wou d not r'eply to Mo
Laurin's oharge that he was brutsl in
his treatment and indecent in harass
Sirng him as he did; they would both be
beitore the people sojn and there would
be no need to diecuiss matters further
i era. He was ready for the agreement
at once. McLaurin: "So am I." It was
soon after that the agreement and
resignation were signed.
S8:na-.or Tillman went directly from
the nourt louse to the law oefie of Mr.
SJ. 0. O:.ts and there dietared the Eirst
formal resigaation which he signad. It
ireads as f..llows:
-Gaff:ey, S. C., May 25, 1901.
HlisExoellancy Gov. 4i1% 8 leSweeney,
Coluimbia,S 8 .
8ir: We hereby tender our resigna
tio::a as saea ors fAum Son.h Carolina
-in tbe Uaited States senate, and ask as
apersonal fav ar that you do not ap
i oint our sicceessors, unles s there be
aan ex ra session of enate, until the
Democratic-State e mmittee aball have
Sordered a primary to chocse the men
to be app~ointed. if you will kindly ad
rvise the State chairman of the Damo
cratic party and ask promt actioa in
Sordering such a primary and arranging
for a canvass by the carndidates, we
shall be under obligations.
PYours respec fully,
B. R. Tillman.
Mr. J. C. Otts was asked to deliver
this ini pereon and he was a~companied
by Editor E B. Hook of the Augusta
Dhronicle and August Kohn, represent
ing The State and The News and Con
rier. Senator McLaurin was dressing
Sat the home of Mr. A. N. Wood, and
invited the visitors to his room. The
taper already signed by Tillman was
-handed him. it was agreeable to him,
from what he said, except he felt his
health would not permit of a summer
campaign and he did think in would
be right for him to be double teamed
and have all the otter condidates in the
field against him. He was unwell and
his wife in the hospital and was fearful
of the strain, he said he seemed to be
quite faint and utterly exhausted while
talking, He suggested an amendment
t> the orginial proposition which was
appended as a postscript, which read as
follows:
"t'he c *mpaign is to be between B
R. Tillman and John L McLaurin for
the long ti rm of cifie which the for
mer resig~ns and to be held during the
myntis of Oc ober and November.
''John L McLaurin,
U. S. Senator."
This was signed and plac3 left for
Senator Tillman's signature, and Mr.
Geo. R. Koester returned with the
party to the law ffic3 as Senator Mc
Laurin's representativa. Senator Till
man simnply had the record and no
reas -ns wers assigned for the change.
He said he hai no right to dictate to
the Democratic committee when it
should order the primary or who should
be allowed to ran,' as anybody could
run for his place. The instrument was
returned to Mc Laurin to leave off the
postscript or make a counter proposi
tion, and shortly afterwards the follow
ing proposal came from senator Mc
Laurin:
To his Excellerncy, the Gnvern ~r, Co
iumnbi, S. C.
Sir: We hereby tender our resigna
tions to take cffect when the Damo
cratic State committee shall order a
primary eltcc'ion, during the month of
.Novemoer, to choose cue successors. It
having been mutually agreed that a
joint canvass shall ba made by us dur
ing the months of Ootober and Novem
ber.
Senator Tillman returned the pro
posal on the same grounds as before,
nd then wrote and sent this letter to
aenator McLaurin:
Hon. John L . McLauarin.
Dear Sir: I have complied strictly
"IBenj, The Tillmanite, took good cre
not to put himself in any jeopardy,"
and when I responded 'I will repign if
you will do so today," you said, "I will
do that." Afterwards, at the close, you
repeated your willingness to carry out
your agreement Now ycu seek to
dodge out of it by putting impossible
conditiors We cannot dictate to the
governor or tlhe Democritic executive
committee. We can only do shat -we
said we would and leve the. rest to the
authorities. Will you. Or %ill you no:
stand by vour pledge. B. R Tilimau.
This letter was sent by hand and to it
came the following reply:
HEn B. R. Tillman.
Dear Sir: I am m~ra than willing to
carry cut the propotition which your
letter indicates you were "taunted into
accepting." Congress meets in Dcem
ber. I invite you to j in me ina letter
to Governor McSweeney tendering him
our resignation to take effeot in armple
time for our succesurs to be appointed.
I prefer the canvacs to take place dur
ing Octol-er and November as, on ac
count of my phyeical condition,, I could
not stand it during the summer months
If you are sincere in your propoision,
unite with me in a letter to Col Jones,
requesting him to call the executive
committee and arrange for the primary.
Or, if you prefer, let us place our resig
nations in the hands of the governor
unconditionally to take effcet Sept. 15th.
Ihave the honorto Le yours rap et
fully, Jno. L McLaurin.
THE FINAL LETTER
The focus had been reached and Sen
ator Tillman dictated this formal instru
ment, which he signed
Gaffney, May 25, 1901.
His Excellency. Governor McS,#eeney,
Columbia, . C.
Si: - We hereby tender our resigns
tieqs as senators for the State of South
Carolina in the United States senate to
take effect Nov. 15th next. Yours re
spectfully.
With Senator Tillman's signature
this paper was sent to Senator McLau
rin, and in a few moments it was
signed and returned. There was no
letter of eiplanation, but with the two
signatures it wai posted, and although
strictly official busineps, 2 cents stamp
was attach(d and tie letter went to
Gov. McSweeney. It will be left to the
State Democratic committ e when the
primari will be held and whether it wi'l
be open to all comers. Tillman says te
wants just as many as want his full
term to run against him and one pri
mary with strictly set atorial candidat<
will be ordered.
T HE SECRETS OF tUCCESS
Exemples Which Go to Show That
Courtesy Pays.
Success says a young man went into
a gentlemen's furnishing house in St.
Luis, and asked to. Eee a certain style
of collars. The lordly clerk behind the
counter looked at him inddLrently, and
drawled: '-Haven't got any-; they're
cu. of slyle, anyhow." The would-be
customer turned on his heel and sought
another store, where he made known
his wants in the same language, the alert
c'erk replied, courteously: "I'm afraid
we are cut of those, but 1ll Eee." He
came baer a :ninute later to the young
man, bringing with him several styles
of collars, and said: 'Tmx sorry, but
we are entirely out of those. .Perhaps
you could wear some of these." The
y oung man decided that he could, and
bought a dozen. Meanwhile the clerk*
called his attention to ties, ha dker
chiefs, and hose that were ''just in,"
and, while it had not occeurreit to the
purchaser that he needed these things,
he bought several, also shirts and un
derwear which he had forgotten that he
wanted till the shrewd and gentlemsn
ly clerk called the fact to his mind.
The firn was richer by $20 when the
clerk bowed the young man out; and
that store securd the steay i-atronage
of a good customer, who, had tne coun
ter been in charge of a different man,
would have gone to the firs firm.
A man went out to take the cen
sus. He had never worked for the'
government before or worn a -badge,
and the weight of it, the imiportauce
of it, worried him, and he wanted
every body to know about it. He found,
however, that "tche masses" oidn't care
who he was 0r wahat he represented.
When he threatened irate females with
the penitentiary, tola them impressive
ly that he was a " government offi
cial," and requested them to liok upon
his insignia of office, they set the deg
on him, attackea him with a broum, sor
requested him to "wais Ontil the ould
mon gits home," which ho declined to
do. Now, any one is aware that ref us
ing to answer the census man is a very
sinister crime, but the federal officers
looked ovcr the report which the
young man brought in from a tene
ment district containing a wonderfully*
mixed populainon, aza gi etly sent an
other man-over the same. route. This
sweet-tempered genius usiasly appear
ed at the caok door, being aware that
its generally vexes a woman to be csll
ed away from her work to answer
foolish questions, but he was also
quick to recognize places where it
would be an unpardonable sin to enter
by the rear door.
This census-taker was sunshine it
self. Usually he had asked half a doz
en questions and got the answers re
coraed before the victim discovered who
whe was, as he had carefully conceal
ed his bage and buriei the fact that
he was a "government official." He
was tactful with all men and women.
He recogniz :d an educated person,
watever the surroundings, and did not
as in so 'many words if such a one could
read and write. Neither did he find it
advisable to inquire of a red-headed
Irsh woman whether she was white or
colored. He mnade love to the little
ehildren, complimented the mothers,
and patted the dogs. When the cen
mus was finished, net a man, woman or
:hild had escapad him. An assess or
went out to assess taxes. He worked
hard all day, and brought in rep 2rts
fom forty families, which he ha-i se
rured through much tribulation, and
with the firm conviction that these peo
ple had hopelessly pdr jare d themselves.
There was another assess in who worked*
three hours, and secured honest reports
from eighty eight fandlies; and, when
he lifted his hat and said ' God morn
ing," people were sorry he couldn't
stay longer, and it was all because of
the difference between the two men.
There was an cxpress agent who
esled a lady's .attention to the fact
that he "understood his business," be
ause she insisted there was an ex
press offic at a place of which the
igent had never heard, and he hadn't
the graea to apolog'z after finding
that the lady was right. There, was
mother man, in the same office, who
recived a wrap which a helpless
woman brought in hanging ovar her
~rm becsuse "she coulda's .make a
package to sava her life," and foldsd it,
ed it, and sealed it, smiling like an
ingel all the while, whatever he thought
nd-bus why multiply instare -s.
rhere is a rule that still holds good in
public and private life "The more cx
mited a man's position, the more
sourteous is his manner.'' His posi
"What's them?" inquired Mrs. Corj
tossel as the farmer opened his carpet
bag and let the contents drop on the
floor.
"Them is two gold bricks."
"Swindled!"
"No, sirree. I paid 25 cents apiece.
fur 'em. I'm goin' to leave 'em around
the house so that when folks come
along with cash to pay fur country
board they'l say we're sech simple,
-nwordly people it's apity to take ad
vantage of us."-Washington Star.
The Editor's Mistake.
Great Statesman-You were in rath
er a sad condition when you left the
banquet the other night.
Reuorter-Yes; I drank more than
was good for me.
Great Statesman-So I noticed. And
it showed in your report of my speech.
It was terribly mixed up. Didn't the
editor raise a row about it?
Reporter-No; he didn't blame me.
He thought you were drunk.-N. Y.
Weekly. -
Very Latest.
Mrs. Rounder says her husband
Is strictly up to date;
In other words, in coming home
He's always rather late.
-Chicago Daily News.
TOOK HER AT HER WORD.
"Why, Mabel, I had to pn -
the other day for not knowing
and now you seem to have fo
again."
"Well, mother, you told me to
give and forget-and I did!
Sloper.
He Was On It.
'Tm sitting on the style, Mary;
I surely am upon it."
She shrieked to see his mAss1ff
Upon her new spring bonnet.
-Chicago-Post..
Some Resemblaae.
- "What are you doing!" groan
victim in-the chair, who had
in to have his teeth exaimne&forp 3
sible cavities. "Thiais.no prie gh
"Perharps not," replied the..
"But rm sort o' sparring around for*
opening, just the same."
Tribune.
Conidates. -
Fay-I wouldn't make a
confidante, if I were you. She
that secret of yours.
May-Why, I didn't makaeMade m
onfidante. It was' Kittyl toRdtt. '~
Madge must be Kitty's con dante~
her confidante's centante.-t le
Standard and Times.
Too Wen Done.
Employer (sternly, to- elec~k nm.
not at all satisfied with your acos te
Bagster.
Clerk-Why n'ot, sir? Aren't they -
well done?
Employer -Yes, 'too well - dz1
they're cooked.-Tit-Bits. '
Forever Too. Late, .
"How much did your baby weigh?" ~
"Oh, dear! Do you -know, I.ao
provoked! They forgot .11
weighing the dear little thing u~t~
was nearly two hours old, so w'L
never know."-Chicago Becord-Her"
ad.
Method with Be..
Jaggles-I've noticed that when
your wife serves tea she alwayabis a
in the disheslierself.
Waggles-Yes. She is afraid ofth
servant malking a bad break In com..
pany.-Town Topics.
Short Memory. ~
Patience-Do you know, when NI
went to put the engagement ring-'a.
my finger, he didn't really know
finger It should go on.
Patrice-Well, he must have a vr
poor memory.-Yonkcers Statesm~
As They rigat No0w.
Spartan-Did I understand you-o
admit that your rival is the champion -
pnugilist ?
Fitz-Corbett-No, sir, I said "plagia.
ist." He's been using a lot of my od
newspaper interviews as his own.--'c
Philadelphia Press.
Well Described.
Mrs. Pierpont (ecstatically)-Isn'tlt
ut a poem of a spring bonnet!
Mr. Pierpont (dubiously)-Yes, -a
magazine spring poem-I can't ma~k
head or tail to it;. or tellikwhich is-the
front or back.-Brooklyn Eagle.~
A Likely Yarn.
Lady-I suppose you got thattred
nose from drinking rum? j
Sandy Pikes-No, mum. I stuckme
head out of de car door En' me noseI
rubbed agin de bricks on de-side ob'
d tu:::l.-Chicago Daily4iews.
What Wa Required.
Mr. Hlolesayle-I want an oille bye
that don't chew, smoke or curse, anda
always neat, clean, brave,.manly and
courteous.
Applicant-Hully Gee!' Wot you
want is a matinee idol!-Pack.
A Sure Sign.
"I am certain that Minnie intends to
marry Frank."
"What makes you so certain?"
"I heard her scolding him for send-:
ing her such valuable presents."-an
lex Life.
Not Qunite the Same.
"Yes, the tribes elected him kcing~ ,
and as soon as they elected him they
said: 'Hail, king.' "
"And then'"
"The reign began."-The King.
In the Children's Playground. --
Muriel Mulligan-Rupert Rafferty
wanted me ter elope wit' him yestiddy
afternoon.
Fifi Flannigan-Why didn't yer?
Muriel Mulligan-I wuz afraid -
wouldn't git back in time fer supper
own Topics.
In Kentucky.-I
The Colonel-It's amazin' how the
children grow! It seems like yester-j
day when that boy of yours was at
The Major-That's so! I can bardly
realize that he's carryin' his own cork
ucrew!-uck.
Brotherlg Advice,
Miss Fuzzle-I want to break my en
gagement but don't know how to do it
without driving the poor fellow to s*i
Little Brother-Why don't you let -
im see you i curl papers fust once?