Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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TMaNiiiizG, S. C. S. A. NETTLES, Editor. WEDNESDAY, November 20,1889. [Chadestor Sunday Budgd.] BILL NYE. Seated I roposals from American Girls Invited-"Narrying Clothes" Furnish ed by the Trust to the High-born Pau pers of Europe-Options on Twenty TI tiles Already Secured. Money will buy almost everything but contentment and history; When we seek to purchase these articles, there is bound to be more or less dis satisfaction. We may buy the armor of dead crusaders and bring to Mil waukee the windmills and memorial -windows of the deceased past, but the glory that accumulates about an old and honored name and the content which follows a duty well done cannot, be bought at any price. Lately, however, an attempt has been occasionally made to swap the American dollar for the foreign title and with more or less success. The great trouble seems to be that the disagreeable details and preliminaries cost more than the title. Acting on this suggestion, I have decided to es tablish a Title Trust and Intelligence office with branches in New York, London, and Paris. Promoters will aid the trust in the heretofore disa greeable task of swapping currency for titles, so that the long tedious job of rooting about among the ruins of old families all over Europe for high bred-aupers, may be almost entirely Again, as it is now, titled young men abroad do not market themselves with the same skill or to the same ad vantage that they might if they would establish and maintain rates. Titled people, like literary people, .do not know how to ge't the best prices for their wares, and so lose good bar -gains. Now,-my idea is to buy up all the broken-down bachelors who are titled, with the understanding that each is to fornish an abstract of title to the trust and bind himself to stand ready to respond to a cable or night message and marry such person or-persons as 'th board of directors shall have de cided upon. Marrying clothes will be furnished bythe treasurer on an order from: the board, countersigned by the pres ident; A circular now being prepar ed for circulation this winter through seinaries and next summer 'at the watering places, wiil more fully set forth the plan of i e association. We already have options on nearly twenty titles which will give us a good~ start and place the scheme on its feet. Al' business, will be done on a per hentage, viz: a percentage from the and also a percentage on the *Yat the time of its paymwent to We also hav.e the nam~es 4escrite her withS e heks, from three o rAmeri ounkcwg women who are now exam umgour goods and who hope to deal with o Iain ot permitted to use names and so hiave substituted fictitious ones in the description here given, butt wil print briefly a few words regard ing our l' both of names in stock, e purchasers. ____ S~tain-me th y ~ h of CoL Jasper Swatt ~inei, a wealthy manufacturer and disolstierer o!Swatthamnmer's Maroon ~.olored Sausage, for internal use, will offer in certified check or approved paper, $250,000 for a new or second helad duke in good repair. She is five d e&.tinne inches high, with sorrel hair .-asiperfectly sound. She cannot cook di- ~asing.much, but is a good roadster adhas a dog with which to begin housekeeping. She is very fond of R erteeth are still good. FMl~Jerlie Briggs, an only child aged,47 years, will trade a good cattle ranch-and a tough 9pid heart for a brgtlittle duke 'wh6 does not know very mnch. She is "dark complected," she says, aind loves her home. She b~ asI,100 -head of range cattle and Shas:jOst received an invoice of choice ~iexas Irail cattle. She gets along .el'without affection and sits jauntily '-in the saddle with one heel under eakh flank of her horse. For five years sh-e ~rode unarmed over the -plains hoping to be captured by some j.lesman, but as soon as the law less men saw her they went to another territory. Sjhe can hold a Texas cow with one hand and milk her with the other, and she sometimes sings a lit tie, accompanying herself on the ac pareoiL. .3tiss Wolet Beard would he willing to trade a cranberry marsh in Burnett .count, -.Wisconsin, for a count who leyes' 'n home and knows how to pick caberre for market and run er rands. The marsh would be delive~red at the altar if desired. It is well fitted up with cabins for pickers, and nicely arranged for flooding the vines during the summer. Miss Beard is four feet -nineinches in height, and wears' a corset that would fit a horse or a bee hiue very well indeed. She has had little schooling, but is self-made, with the exception of her Sunday toupee, -which was made for her iu St. Paul. Miss Precious Johnson, a two-head ed colored girl who has been for some years in the museum and freak industries, will swap a plantation in Missisippi and an accordeon, for a goof duke wbo is accustomed to the care of horses. Permanent job for a dgikamho knows his business and is afdafraid of work. Miss Johnson would be aw ay wititers and would want a trusty husband who is used to the care of children. She is a little below the medium height, with dark, glossy hair, rather inclined to curl. She has traveled a good deal and sings easily with both voices. She has sung for several crowned heads, and wears a decolette dress for even ing, cut V. shape and filled in with some dark material. Miss Johnson values her plantation at $150,000, and would want a duke that could take the lead as a cotton hoeist, also break colts or do light housework. I haveonly space for a partial list of titled subscribers who have already sent in their photographs and abstract of title, with crest of the owners ters in answer to our circular sent abroad, and by the holidays business will be humming, I think. Fictitious names, of course, are given, because we cannot betray the business en Itrusted to us, in my opinion, an opin ion I may say, in which I am joined by the president of our board, Mr. C. P. Huntington. Lord Recompense Von Sniffen is a stout-built man of middle age who has been robbed of his wife four { times. His title extends back nearly as far as the mortgage on his house and lot. He is of a sandy complex ion with a bright red beard. This he wears full, in order to have it har monize with his habits. He was wounded by a double barrel shot gun at one time, but it gives him no incon venience at all, especially while stand ing up. He dresses plainly and eats opium between meals. The Baron de Rumsey has a title in soak, which he can regain by putting up $85,000 and interest. He will con sider proposals from a bright, young American girl with that amount of ready money, provided she dces not care for inordinate affection. The baron is 53 years of age, well preserved-in alcohol.. He has traveled a good deal, mostly on foot late years, and can wait on table or take care of a furnace. He has spent two years in Switzerland both as porter and head waiter and can talk well on hotel life on the continent. He speaks two lan guages and also understands the bar ber business. Lord Peascod is young, scarcely 19 years, but desires to realize on his ti tle at an early date. He does not pine so ,much.for affection, but writes us that he has had hardly anything to eat for nearly a year. He would like to receive overtures and a sack of flour from a wealthy American family as soon as possible. It must be ear ly, as the offer will iot be held open long. The daughter of a provision and grocery dealer, or ham and bacon fancier, would be desirable. Lord Peascod has a kind heart, is simple in his tastes, and drawls a little when he talks. His photograph shows a young man who may know something later.on, but has not given his atten tion to it yet. His title is clear but his brain-is not. He may be often discovered by himself, wondering where he has left his thinker. A good strongminded girl say 85 years of age, with a batcher shop and a wa termelon patch, has a glorious oppor tunity here to win a young heart such as it is, and become at the same time Lady Peascod. He is tired of living on a crest with fried mush three times a day. His crest consists of a tape worm, rambunctions on a field, de vastated, over a sausage recusant. His brains were once said to be in good working order,. but they have worked so long now while the weath er is warm, that he lately has to sprinkle chlorides on them while thinking. Count Aleck Cheeseman, surnamed Aleck the Smart, considers sealed proposals from American girls or wid ows up to 12 o'clock on the 31st day of December, A. D 1889. He sets no price on his title but will close with the best offer, our Bureau to re ceive its percentage both from the auton hi gcept-ef4hrdOwryard from t13li bde on receipt of the title. This is cheaper than watering place jockeying, and avoids newspaper gos sip. during the preliminaries. Count Aleek the Smart is a divorced gentle man of culture without means. He has published a hand bo'k of modern vices wvhich shows his wide range of experience. It is .now in its ninth edition and may be procured of any .donbsLdealer. He is a medium size man with the low, retreating fore head of the cattish and the heavy set mouth of the hippopotamus. He dances well and drinks other peoples whiskey almost exclusively. Yet his title runs back as far as the eye can reach and his price is fair enough un der the circumstances. The ladies lie has heretofore married 'hatve agreed not to molest him in the future pro vided he will abstain from marrying them any more. Count Aleck the Smart has tasted every pleasure in life with the excep tion of being a gentleman for fifteen minutes by the watch. He readily eats anything he can overtake and says evther and nyther in society. 'I would be glad to receive any and all correspondence relating to this new Trust with which I may be favor ed, and trust that the Trust may work incalculable benefit to both our own country and the tottering dynas ties of the Old World. All letters should be addressed to me perso'nally and wvill be regarded with the strict est confidence, as I shall not allow any one to see them except my wife. N. B.-We will not offer- anything on a title which isbacked by nothing but a half pound seal ring and a rub ber stamp crest for marking linen. We must have abstract of title or there will be no trade. In a year from now we propose to control the duke business absolutely. Will you attend to this matter now or will you wait till prices have ad vanced ? Please do not send certified checks to Mr. Huntington. They will receive much more prompt attention if sent direct to me, and if no deal is made I will return the money after awhile. Biu. Nn:. Mr. and Mrs. Bowser. DY uns. DOWSER. One day I sawv Mr. Bowser stop in front of the house and give it a care ful looking over, and when he camne inlasked: "You are not thinking of making any repairs, are you ?" "Well not exactly repairs. but I was just thinking that I could make a great improvment." "The paint hasn't held its color, and I think I shall have the house gone over again-just a light coat, you know." "1Mr. B~owser, this house was paint. ed only six months ago. At that time we had half a dozen men around here for nearly a month." "Yes, but the color has faded." 'Didn't I warn you1 at the time Ithat it would fade ? And didn't everybody laugh at the idea of youm putting pea green on a red brick house ?" "No, ma'am, they didn't! Every. body complimented my taste. I've had a dozen people of cultivatior and taste tell me that it was perfect harmony and tat there was nothuinn ifr town to match it. But it's just like you. Whenever I desire to make an improvment you are the drag on me." "But let it go until spring, any how." "Mrs. Bowser did you ever hear the word 'economy'? "Yes, sir." "But you evidently do not under stand what it means. It means, in a broad sense, to sell where you can sell the highest and buy where you can buy the cheapest. The painting season is about closed, lots of men am out of work, and I can get this house painted now $40 cheaper than next spring. Isn't $40 worth saving ?" "Yes, but the house doesn't need it." "Not in your judgment, perhaps. People why are brought up in log houses in the country have tastes pe culiarly their own. The house will be painted." He crossed his hands under his coat tails, paced up and down the sit ting room, and, of course, I sank into insignificance and dropped the sub ject. Two days later four or five hard-looking fellows with paint on their clothes came up and looked the outside of the house over. At brief intervals they consulted together and made figures on the back gate. At other brief intervals they meas ured the width and length of the house with a tapeline. After three hours hard work they came to a con clusion of some sort and then went out to 'the barn to rest their tired brains and wait for Mr. Bowser to appear. When he came home he confabbed with them for half an hour, made more figures on the back gate, and finally told them to go ahead. "They won't make the least muss around," he said as he came in. "They'll skim right over in about two days, and you'll hardly know they have been here." It was useless to say anything af ter the bargain had been made, and so I held my tongue. Next morn ing a wagon came with three long ladders, two short ones, four step ladders, two saw-horses, twenty-two paint buckets, four pails, and so many cans and brushes that I got tired of counting them. I expected to see fully fifteen painthrs come with the outfit, but ten must have got lost on their way up. The five were enough, however, to take the possession of the barn, the kitchen, and the base ment. "Looks as if they wouldn't be over a day and a half," said Mr. Bowser as he started off down town. It lookedl to me as if they meant to take a whole week for it, and I went out to interview the boss on the subject. He did some more measur ing with a tape line, put down some more figures on the back gate, count ed his long and short ladders over and finally replied: "I did say two weeks at first, ma'am, but if the weather holds good I think twelve days will see the last of it." "Twelve days ?" "Not over thirteen anyhow !" "Are you doing this by the job ?" "Ob, no, ma'am. Some of the scrubs take jobs and rush 'em through and cheat folks in the most horrible manner, but we don't. We work by the day and do our work well." Then began a circus which lasted just seventeen days without a change of programme. Ev-ery painter went down into the basement to inspect the walls of the house. The were gone just half an hour. When they reappeared they inspected the inte rior of the barn, and were invisible for a long hour. Then they came out and managed to raise a ladder against the side of the house. They might possibly hnve raised another during the forenoon, but one of them fortunately observed that the first ladder was a little shaky. This brought about a consultation, and the ladder was taken down and inspect ed. By a vote of three to two, it was dcddthat one of the rungs was loose. Then the five put in just an hour and a half hunting for hammer and nails, glue-pots, wedges, crow bars, jack-screws, 'pile-drivers, and other articles deemed necessary to =>ake repairs. When Mr. Bowser came home to dinner not a thing had been done in the wvay of painting. I complained of this, but he re plied: "Oh, give them a show. They have got to get ready. When once they start they will move like a cy clone." "Why did you hire them by the day ?" "To get good work." "During the afternoon the painters raised another ladder, mixed about a gallon of color, drank four pints of Mr. Bowser's bottled beer, and care fully inspected and g-ave each other their individual opinions on the age and nationality of the kitchen girl Halt an hour before Mr. Bowser came home one of them carefully and cautiously ascended a ladder, painted a portion of a bracket and came down and went over on the back street to see how it looked. The others went over to help him, and none of them were seen again that afternoon. -The second day was but a slight improvment on the first and it was four days before one could see that any Wvork had been done. Then Mr. Bowser concluded he didn't like the color, 'and he had it changed. He was earnestly advised to do this by the painters, who said the color they had been putting on was rather out of date and did not harmonize with the color of our front door. -At the end of the twenty-second~ day Mr. Bowser came home to find that four-fifths of the wvork had bee accomplished. He got mad and dis charged the whole crowvd out of hand, athoug'h the boss pitifully pro tested: "Never drove a gang of men so' hard in my life, and I did want to do a job here to which I could point with pride." When Mr. Bowser camne in he be gan to figur'e. I saw his hair begin to stand on end, and presently he ex lamed: "Mrs. Bowser do you know wvhat your foolish whim has cost me in cold cash ?" "My foolish whim ? What do you mean ?" I"I mean wvhat I say ! I had this house painted to please you, and those infernal daubers have made it "Didn't I protest about having it painted ?" "Protest! No, ma'ain-you en couraged me!" "Mr. Bowser!" "There you go! Lay everything to me, as usual! Any lusbatid who humors the whims of his wife will come out just as I have! Mrs. Bow ser, don't fool with me any more ! I've borne and borne, but there is a limit. The worm will turn at last. I'm ready to turn !" A STATESMAN SPEAKS. No man in the South was more generally or more favorably known, and no man's opinion was more highly reverenced than that of late ex-Governor Perry, of South Carolina. For some time previous to his death, Governor Perry was a sufferer from indigestion. He took Dr. Westmoreland's Calisaya Tonic and wrote the following let ter: -A-s Sot:cr. Gentlemen:-I most cordially recommend Dr. Westmoreland's Calisaya Tonic. For several years past I have been troubled with indigestion and dyspepsia. My son, Dr. Hext M. Perry, of Philadelphia, who knows the ingredients which compose your tonic, spoke favorably of it. In the course of two months past I have used four bottles, and am entirely relieved. Yours truly, &c., B. F. PEnny. Dr. Westmoreland's Calisaya Tonic is sold by Dr. L. W. Nettles, Foreston, S. C., and J. G. Dinkins & Co., Manning, S. C., at 50 cents and $1.00 a bottle. FOR DYSPEPSIA Use Brown's Iron Bitters. Physicians recommend it. All dealers keep it. $1.00 per bottle. Genuine has trade-mark and crossed redlines on wrapper. 2 WILL PURCHASE $9 A CHAMBER SUIT, a $32-Will Purchase a Beautiful--$32 PARLOR SUIT, -AT Brown & Co.'s Furniture Store, 295 King street, Opposite Society street CHARLESTON, S. C. J.RYTTENBI T The leading house in the Stat don County to visit their stores. will pay you to do so. Because our Stock is t Because our Good Because our Pi We make no special leaders. Our line of Dress Goods, '] are unequalled in style and qual novelties. A handsome line of Misses Cloaks. In our SHOE DEP will be found a cheap selection< for Hough & Ford's Ladies' and Hess Shoes for men, the W. L. I er' leading makes. In our Clothing and Furn we are winning new trade evel Clothing, made this season betti for Strouse & Bro.'s patenlt Sq1ua the finest cuistomi mlake. See o1 Boys' and Chik Sole agents for the celebrated line of HATS in all tile leadi CARPETS, OILt CLOTH, at New York prics. An inmm< Gloves, Handkerchlis, SOLE AGEN' MATHIER LACIN Every pair' warranlted. A c< Stple and Fancy Groceries Jobbing D~ In this department we ofter si and dealers. and are prepared t All orders by mail will rece J. RYTTE2 SEOKENDORP NAVAL No. 1 Cent F. W. C APl DEALER IN tlm WVINES, LIQUORS, T4 S. E. Cor. Meeting and Reih Choice Flonr a specialty. Sugarus sold ine livered free to depot. Country ordlers p rom OTTO F. WHIOLESA I Wholesale Dealer in Wil RICE BEER! RICE BEER!I We are the sole manufacturers of this de licious and healthy bevorage, which after having been analyzed by all the eminent chemists in Atlanta, Ga., during "Prohibi tion" and after the most searching scrutiny for traces of aleholol, was allowed to be sold free of State and city license, and so also more recently after further analyzing in Flor ida. It fills a long felt want for a stimulant and appetizer th it is not intoxicating; pleas ant to the taste, contains nourishment and specially suited for persons of weak and del icate constitutions. It has the taste of lager beer of the finest flavor; besides, to add to its purity and medicinal qualities, is special ly made of our celebrated world renowned original Artesian well water. Put up in cases of one dozen pints at 61 25 per dozen; five dozen at $1 per dozen, and in casks of ten dozen each at 90 cents per dozen. Cash must accompany each order. Copyrighted and patent applhed for. We have no Agents, and none genuine unless ordered direct from CRAMER & KERSTEN, PALMETTO BnEwRY, Steam Soda and Mineral Water Works, Charleston, S. C., U. S. A. C. KARESH, OPPOSITE BELL'S LIVERY STABLES, MANN ING, S. C. Has on hand a large stock of all kinds of Goods usually kept in a GENERAL MERCHANDISE STORE, Good Bacon 5 cents. Check Homespun 5 cents. Soap 3 bars for 5 cents. Best Gran ulated Sugar 10 cents. Brown Sugar 3 pounds for 25 cents. Flour 30 pounds for Si. These are Only a Few Prices. I sell only for cash, and will sell all my goods proportionately cheap. Come and see the real bargains I offer. BOLLIANN BROTHERS, Wholesale Grocers, 157 and 169, East Bay, CHARLESTON, S. C. ~Rr &SONS, at., 19!. C. e invites the people of Claren A few of the reasons why it he Largest. are the Newest. ices are the Lowest. as all our goods are leaders. ['rimmings, &c. ity', embracing all the season's tle latest styles in Ladies' and ARTMENT f tile best makes. Sole agents Misses' Shoes, tile celebrated :ouglas Shoes, and several oth ishing Departmient y day with our rightly made ri than ever before. Sole ngents re shoulder garmlenlts, egnal to ri line of Iren's Clothing. Knlockahout Suit. A nobby g Blocks. MATTINGS, AND RUGS ~nse linle of Hosiery, Corsets, &c. rS FOR TIHE. G KID GLOVES, mle1lte line of ,Crockery and Hardware. spart ment. >eiai indultcemnlfts to merchants > comlpete with any miarket. ive prompt attention. iBERG & SONS. 6 MIDDL.E TON, TOR ES, EL M ANN, IE GlioCERIES )BACCO AND CIGARS, Sts., CHARLESTON, S. C. w cost. No charge for drayage. Goods de tly att snded to. W IE TERS, E GROCER, es, Liquors and Cigars, Charleston, S. C. WE MEAN 3USD1 Everything in the furniture line from a $1.50 B( DURANT & BELT sUMTER, s. c PRIZE PARLOR S Every $10's bought entitlest a ticket at our magnificent I ROSEWOOD PARLOR SUI' at $100 and consisting of 6 pig T. C.- SCAFFE, Sumter, S. C. STOVES AND TINWARE. Largest Line of Goods Ever Carried. HARDWARE! R. W. DURANT & SON, StMuTnEL, S. C. CLARENDo FnIR.Ds: We are now in our LARGE, MAGNIFICENT, NEW Store ad joining A. A. SOLOMONS. Con and see us. We can show you one of the Handsomest Hardware Stores in the State. We sell everything in the HARDWARE LINE, fr=m a nail to"anything you need, and at PRICES TO SUIT. STOVES! STOVES! STOVES! Best Makes and Cheap. Crockery, Glass and Tinware, ald lar ness. Fine Line Table and Pocket Cutlery, Scissors. &e. Guns and Pistols In Great Variety. Cartridges, Shells, &c. IN BELTING! We can give you bargoins. We are Headquarters for it. Packing in Rubber and Hemp, Lace Leather, Gin Bristles, &c. We are Powder Agents, and can sell it cheaper than you can order it. Come and see us, we'll do you good. Respectfully, R. W. DURANT & SON. E. E. REMBERT. P. P. GAILLARD. A NEW DEPARTURE! LISTEN! Hardware Can Now be Bought at Prices Within the Reach ofEverybody. Among our complete assortment the housewife can find everything she needs. The farmer his implements and the carpenter his tools. Having secured the agency for the fol lowing goods we are prepared to offer them at figures that will astonish you: Doors, Sashes and BIinds, Studebaker Wagons, Carts, Buggies, -AND Pierce's Unrivaled Paints. Davis Turbine Water-wheel. TIIE CELEBRATED DUPONT'S POWDER. Sporting Goods a Specialty. A Full Line of Hardware, Cutlery, Guns. stores, o11s, HOLLOWARE, D VARNISHES, Hubs, Rims, Spokes, Saddlery, Harness, BELTING, W OOD ENW A RE, MACHINISTS' AND MILL SUPPLIES POTWARE, ETC. We will always be glad to order out for our customers such goods as we may not have in stock. Call and exaumine. You will not complain about prices. E. E. IREMBEIRT & CO., St-r MT m., s. c. Cihaest and Best 6rmeries. at FERDINAND L.EVI'S, Sumfer, S, C, lESS. I d to a $150.00 Suit at FZER'S, UIT. he purchaser to' SILK PLUSH r' prize, valued aces. A. McCOBB,Jr general Commission Merchant, AND DEALER IN Lime, Cement, Plaster Paris, Hair, Fire Bricks and Fire Clay. Land Plaster and Eastern Hay. Agent for White's English Portland Cement. NO. 19$ EAST BAY, CHARLESTON, S. C. (GEo. E. ToA.. HELET OLzVZL] Geo, E. Toale & C ._ MtUFACTUR RS AND WHOLESALE -:n e r mu 33ir Doors, Sash, Blinds, Mouldings, Mantels, Grates, etc. Scroll Work, Turning 'and Inside Finish. Builder's Hard ware, and General Building Material. OFFICE AND SALESROOMS, 10 and 12 Hayne Street, REAR CHARLESTON HOTEL, Charleston, S. C. All Work Guaranteed. RWrite for estimates. National House, 177 MEETING STREET. 5 Doors South of Market Street, DIRECTLY ON LNE CITY RALWAY, CHARLESTON, S. C. Mrs. H. M, BAKLR, Proprietress. Rates Per D~ay, $1.00. PAVILION HOTEL, CHARLESTeN, S. C. First Class in i -.2 Appointments. Suplied with all Modern Improvements Otis Passnger leator, le tric -Bells and Lights, Heat ed Rlotunda. R~ATES, $2.00. $!.50 AND $3.00. Roos Res'erved by Mail or Telegraph HowRD FLEMING. JNo. H. DEVEREU3, New York. Charleston, S. C. FLEING &.DEVEREUZ, . -IMPORTERS OF English Portland Cement, Lime, Plaster, Hair, &c, 276 EAST BAY CHARLESTON, S. C. Write for our special prices on full or mixed car load lots. MA~HNV FOR SALE! To The People of Clarendon:' I am the Agent for the Cel ebrated REVOLVING HEAD PR A TT GIN, LJIDEL.I & Co.'s Engines and Boilers. -:0: I am sole agent in this cour.ty for BOSS COTTON PRESS. --:o: Corn Mills, Pulleys, Shaft -ing, etc. -:o: 3. All this machinery is direct from the factory and will be sold at the Factory's Lowest Cash Prices. It will be to the -adlvantage of purchasers to call on me before buying. W. SCOTT HARVIN, Manning, S. C MAX G. Bryant, JAS. M. LzWAD. South Carolina. New York. Grand Central Hotel. BRYANT & LELAND, PEoPIEToP-s. Columbia, South Carolina. The grand Central is the largest and bost kept hotel in Columbia, located in the EX ACT BUINES4S CENTER OF THlE CITY, here all Street Car Line p ass the door,