Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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SUPPLEMENT.] MANNING, S. C., JOSEPH F. RHAME, ATTORNEY AT LAW MANNING, S. C. JOHN S. WILSON, Attorney and Counselor at Law, MANNING, S. C. INSURANCE AGENT, MkNI G. S. C. ATTORNEY AT LAW. MANNING. S. C. _!- Notary Public with seal. WM. " INGRAM. ATTORNEY AT LAW, Office at Court House, MANNING, S. C. M CLDNIONG LUHT PRACTICES IN COURTS OF CHARLESTON and CLARENDON. Address Communications in care of Man ning Tnms. JOS. H. MONTGOMERY, ATTORNEY AT LAW Main Street. SUMTER, S. C. *!OCollections a specialty. W. F. B. HASwoRTH, Sumter S, C. B. S. DnrsanS, Manning, S. C. HAYSWORTH & DINKINS, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, MANNING, S. C. TR. G. ALLEN HUGGINS, DENTIST. - OCFILES - MANNING AND KINGSTREE. -OFFICE DAYS Kingstree, from 1st to 12th of each month. Manning, from 12th to 1st of each month. -OncE HoUES 9A. M.fol P.M. and2to4 P. M. J J. BRAGDON, REAL ESTATE AGENT, FORESTON, S. C. Offersfor sale on Main Street, in business portion of the town, TWO STORES, with suitable lots; on Manning and R. R. streets TWO' COTTAGE RESIDENCES, 4 and 6 rooms; and a number of VACANT LOTS suitable for residences, ant in different lo calities. Terms Reasonable. ESTABISHED 1852. Louis Cohen & Co. 284 King Street. CHARLESTON, S. C. Importers, Wholesale and Retail Dealers in Dry and Fancy Goods. o jWSamples and prices cheerfully sent on application. Orders entrusted to me will receive my prompt personal at tention. Will be pleased to see my friends from Clarendon County. ISAAC M. LORYEA, With Louis Cohen & Co., CHARLESTON, S. C. Wm. Burmester & Co. HAY AND GR ATN, Red Rust Proof Oats, a Spe cialty. Opposite Kerr's Wharf, 'CH ARTLETON S. C. Mhx G. Bryant, Js. M. TEWnD, South Carolina. New York. Grand Central Hotel. BEYANT & LELAND, PnoPRaEroRs. Columbia, South Carolina. The grand Central is the largest and best kept hotel in Columbia, located in the El -ACT.BUSIES CENTER OF THE CITY where all Street Car Lines pass the door, and its MENU is not excelled by any in the South. THE BEULAH ACADEMY, Bethlehem, S. C. B. B. THOMPSON, Principal. Fall Session Begins Monda, Oct. 29. Instruction thorough, government mild -and decisive, appealhng generally to the student's-sense of honor and judgment mn the important matter~ of punctuality, de portment, diligence. &c. Moral and social influences good. Taition from $1.00 to $2.00 per month. Board in good families $7.00 per month. Board from Monday to Friday per month :$3.00 to $4.00. p~rFor further particulars, address th Principal. J. G.DINKIN, M. D. R. B. LORTEA. 10. Diokins & Co., BruggStS and Pharmacists, PURE DRUGS AND MEDICINES, PERFUMERY, STATIONERY, 'FINE CIGARS .AND TOBACCO. Full stock of PAVars, OI~s, GLuss Vanwm~r and WHIrE EED, also Paner and WmrrEASH EEUSHES. An elegant stock of SPECTACLES and EYE GLASSES. No charge made for fitting the eye. Physicians Prescriptions carefully 'compounded, day or night. i, 6. Dinkins & Go., Sign of the Golden Mortar, iLA2NITN, 5L C. A PIANO TUNER TALKS. SOME OF THE STRANGE THINGS EN COUNTERED IN HIS TRADE. Bats Play Havoc with the Felts-Children Poke Canes Under the Strings-Finding a Lost Pocketbook-Results of a Man's Carelessness. "Look out for that rat!" was the excla mation of a piano tuner to a reporter, a few days ago, as he stood watching him take a piano to pieces. The words had barely been said when a large, lean rat jumped out of the instrument and scam pered across the room and out of an open ddor. While he was dexterously remov ing the rat's nest from inside the piano the reporter asked if rats were usually part and parcel of pianos. The tuner re marked that -while probably two-thirds of the instruments in residences were free from the rodents, the other third were in fested with them, at least that had been his experience during twenty years of his life. Those in the country, especially in well to do farmers' houses, were gener ally inhabited by rats, and in dozens of cases fully half a bushel of small scraps of paper that had been carried there by the pests had been discovered. The paper and the nests were not so bad, but rats very frequently did the instrument much damage. Rats play havoc with the felts in the action, and he had repaired pianos where the felts had all been eaten away. Occasionally a hungry rat i. discovered that sJiows fight, and the wielding of a broomstick, with the accompanying screaming by the women folk, is neces sary to get rid of the animal - Children oftentimes cause pianos to get out of order, but while the trouble caused by them is usually quickly repaired there are times when they do more damage than rats. Left alone in the room with an open instrument the spirit of mischief comes over them, and a cane or a book is poked in under or among the strings. The owner returns to play on the piano, and then finds it at sixes and sevens. As everything was all right but a few min utes before the cause of the trouble can not be understood, and then there is bluster about the house. Should the piano be a new one the maker is blamed. the instrument is condemned, and a sharp letter is forwarded to the seller. The re pairer with fear and trembling hastens to the scene, the trouble is found, and after apologies, the whipping of the small boy who did -he mischief, and the payment of the bill for repairs, the piano is left to its fate. WHERE THE MONEY GOES. Picking up a five cent piece lying on the action, the tuner said: "Here is something, too, I find as well as rats' nests and the work of children. To be sure money is not found frequently, especially in any considerable amount, but the finding of two fat pocketbooks and a ten dollar gold piece I will never forget. The gold had been placed in the piano for sai keeping by a young lady, and its hiding place for gotten, and my finding it, of cour-3, made the owner happy. The bring ..g to light of one of the pocketbooks made me ,50 richer, that being a present from its loser. It had been missing for a year, and contained $600. Detectives had been hunting for thieves who, it was supposed, had stolen the money. The discovery of the pocketbook brought back the recol lection that it had been laid on the top lid of an upright piano, and that it had no doubt fallen in the inside, where I had found it. "Instead of getting a reward I came near being arrested, and perhaps sen tenced to a term of imprisonment for finding the purse. Its contents were over $200, and like the other one, having been carelessly left on top of the instrument, it fell inside. Being missed w'1e I was in the house, and the owner of the money, a country justice, remembering where he had laid it, suspicion rested on me as the one who had taken it. When I remarked the mysterious actions of the justice, his wife and two daughters, he told me of his loss and what he suspected, and threatened my arrest unless the money was immedi ately produced. It was a bad predicament to be in, and what to do puzzled in. The finding of the other pocketbook flashed across my mind. I suggested a search in the interior of the piano, and there it was found to my joy. The old man took it without as much as saying 'Thank you,' and to this day 1 think he holds the opinion that I liid it away in the piano." -Chicago Journal. Dlismarck's Weighing Machine Close by the side of Prince Bismnarck's bath is a weighing chair, covered with red velvet, of the most modern construe' tion, and the great German minister never fails to "try his weight" at least once a day, or to record the result of his trial in the small diary he keeps attached by a string to the arm of the weighing chair for the purpose. There was a thms when the prince sealed the somewhat Gargantuan weight of 247 pounds; but "much has happened since then," as is late friend Lord Beaconsfield once re marked. And, among other things, the prince has taken not to "Banting," but to a more recent system of dealing with one's "too, too solid fiesir."~ Thanks to deter mined perseverance in the system, the Germanhancellor was last Friday able te announco at the breakfast table, in a tone of triumph, that he that morning only weighed 100 pounds. Europe, which has such a deep interest in Prince Bismarck's continued life and good-health, would do well, if ossible, to secure for -informa tion a daiy return of the weights re corded in the chancellor's little diary. London Figaro ,-Coffee as a Disinfectant. Coffee is a handy and harmless disinfec tant. Experiments have been made in Paris to prove this: A quantity of meat was hung up in a closed room until de composed, and then a chafing dish was introduced and 500 grammes of coffee thrown on the fire. In a few minutes the room was completely disinfected. In an other room sulphuretted hydrogen and ammonia wvere developed, and ninety g-ammes of coffee destroyed the smell in about half a minute. It is also stated that codee destroys the smell of musk, castrum and asafetida. As a proof that the noxious smells are really decom posed by. the fumes of coffee and not merely overpowered by them, it is stated that the first vapors of the coffee were not smelled at all, and are therefore chem ically absorbed, while the other smells gradually diminish as the fumigation con tinues. The best ;w'y to effect this fumi gation is to pound the coffee in a mortar and then strow it on a hot iron plate. vhich, however, must not be red hot Globe-Democrat. Owing, as it is supposed, to the sysic' matic robbery of their nests, mocking birds are heard less this year in Florida :bnaaver before. A Dude and His Trousers. "Bagging at the knees ist a matter. I confess, which has caused me more un easiness than I can tell you. It has done more to turn my hair gray than anything else. But I do not have so much trouble now as I used to have. You know they are wearing trousers larger now than a couple of years ago. In fact today a well made pair has hardly a legitimate excuse for bagging unless they are worn con stantly. I myself never wear a pair two days in succession. A little while ago. when wo wore trousers almost skin tight, I thought I should have to go into- an asylum. A pair worn half a day showed a decided inclination to expansion at that most critical point. I found myself at. ten-ting to ward off the evil. I tried every method I could hear of and every one 'I could invent, but they did little good. Finally I invented one of ray own. I used to hang the trousers up by the bot toms, being particular to have them hang straight. and then I dampened the incipi ent bags. After that I attached a, weight of some sort to the waist band, so as to bring the strain over the knees. The cloth in drying came back into shape and remained so. "Your tailor or your furnisher has no doubt tried to sell you the device known as 'pants stretcher.' Don't waste your money. I have tried every kind known. and they don't give satisfaction. They don't stretch the cloth evenly enough, nor is the cure permanent. That little scheme of my own is the best I ever found. Oh, yes; you may try it. I haven't patented it. But if you really want fo know the best and most satisfactory way of remov ing bags from the face of your trousers let me whisper it to you. Go to your tailor. For 15 cents or a quarter he will press them, and nothing works so well. But when you are on the top of Mount Washington the tailor is not there. Al ways hang your pantaloons up carefully. I have known fellows who would go home, take off their coat and waistcoat, throw them into a chair, remove their trousers, dump them in a heap on top of the coat and vest, and then pile the shirt and underclothing on top of the trousers. This is all wrong. A man's underclothing is always a little damp, even in winter. The coat and waistcoast at the bottom, the trousers between them and the under clothing, the pantaloons are certainly in a regular sweat box. There they are, all crumpled, creased and in a heap, and, of course, when the wearer comes %- put them on in the morning he wonders what the deuce makes his trousers look so out of shape."-Boston Cor. New York World. Profit in Publie Enterprises. E. R. Brady, who has been connected with various public enterprises in elec tricity, pungently remarked: "The aver age American citizen will let you rob him daily and hourly of a small amount of money, and permit you to rob all his fellow citizens .in a great community at the same time,'so that in the aggregate you have an enormous plunder, when, if you were to take even a tithe of the amount out of his pocket annually or out of the public treasury he would want you hanged to the first lamp post. The street car lines take a penny more from every passenger than they are justly entitled to. Ferry boats are in the same class. The price per thousand for gas might be reduced. "Every telephone subscriber could pay less for his telephone and leave still a large profit to the companies. Telegraph messages could be reduced, but in this hustling and active country no one wants to stop and consider those things. You pay your nickel of fare on the street fr without ever so much as a thought that three cents fare would pay a good divi dend on the original investment of most of the roads. You pay $1.25 a thousand for gas, although you know in your in most soul that $1 is a big price. It is in franchises of this character that money is rapidly made, and since the people are all willing to pay these small larcenies, I don't know but that my original lan guage, terming it robbery, is a little too strong. Perhaps the fact is that the American citizen is wiming to pay pretty well for good accommodations of any kind."-New York Tribune. Fallibility of Human Judgment. Yet, after all, isn't it rather a curious weakness in human beings to care for one another's opinions? Why should Jones mind what you or I think of him or say of him, when you and I are almost certain to be wrong?~ Nay, why should he mind what the majority think of him, when the majority re usually wrong? what the cultured minority think of him, when the cultured minority are seldom right? what an entire generation think of him, when the next generation may reverse the ver dict? An accurate history of critic'm, for cx ample. would be a delightful burlesque upon the fallibility of human judgment; only the historian should owe no fealty tc what was current; ho should stand so far apart from present human thought that all its most cherished conclusions should appear to him only shifting waves in an ocean of folly-should recognize that our moralities mzay be vices, our vices virtues, our orthodoxies follies, our rascals heroes, our masteraieces daubs, our Shakespeeares and Goethes and Virgils and Dantes the puerilo intelligences that their contem poraries mostly believed them to be. Lippineott's Maga::ine. An Artfuil Little Dodger. A ladv came out on the steps of a house on Dunceld street and called aloud in swet. Imrsuasive tones: "G'eorgie,. dear?" There was no answer, and she looked anxiously up and down the street and again called, but in a firmer voice: "Georgel"' Not a word. Taking in the entire hori zn with one sweeping, comprehensive glance. she made a trumpet of her hand and called shrill and sharp: "Corgie!" Then a little pair of scurrying feet came around the corner of the h,>uso, ac companied by a round, innocent face, much stained with watermelon juice, and a sweet voice inquired: "Did you call me, inamma?"-Detroit Free Press. Life in Paris Studios. In no place more than agtudio is it true that the early bird gets the woerm; but in a studio that bird must be 'prepared to defend her spoils. Thus it is a great thing to be among the first to pose the model at 8 on Monday morning; but unless you are preparesl to fight for the continuance of your pose, you will find that each coiner will want to alter it to suit her particular taste. Unfortunately, malcontents have the right to put the pose to the vote, and it not unfrequently happens that after you have patiently blocked in the figure during the first hour, at 9 o'clock, when the crowd arrives, a fresh and totally dif ferent position is voted for and carried by an exasperating majority, and all your la i s.....nmnrest'5 Monthly.. i-ANDL ING OF FREIGHT. SOME POINTS WHICH ARE OF IN TEREST TO THE PEOPLE. How Merchandise Is Handled by the Rail roads-Their Methods of Raising Rates and Settling Claims Described in 'Brief. Sending a "Tracer." The manner of making up through rates, that is, rates between points neces sitating transportation over two or more roads, is now comparatively simple. Prior to the passage of the interstate commerce act. certain agreed rates prevailed at all junction or common points (prevailed until some one road felt inclined to cut), and points local to one road were fixed at as high rates as were considered necess:ury by the road reaching them. Now, how ever, the majority of the roads have thrown their local territory open by ink ing common points as basing points. and making the rates to intermediate local territoi-v the same as those in effTet at the next farthest basing point. In other words, dividing the road into g-ups. cah group taking certain fixed rates. The through rates are divided between the roads forming the line, on a ;nilenge basis -that is, each road receives a percentage of the through rate as great as the dis tance traversed over its rails bears to the entire distance from point of shipment to destination. .The numerous cases of delays and loss of property in transit are in a large ncas ure due to careless or improper miarhjmg of merchandise by the consignor. If nil packages were properly and plainly marked these annoying occurrences would be reduced to a minimum. As it is, how ever, the systematic methods of handling freight in practice by all roads render it almost impossible for anything to be car ried to a wrong destination, alt hcugh somo errors in routing occur which, in the case of perishable freight, are equiva lent to actual loss. When a shipment fails to arrive on time a "tracer" is sent after it. These I "tracers" are in the shape of a request upon forwarding agent to follow up the shipment, by means of his way bill, car number, train number, date and seals, all of which are kept in his station rec ords. The "tracer" is sent along the line traversed by the shipment, and each agent in turn notes thereon date of arrival and departure. whether transferred into an other car, and seal record, and forwards to next junction point. In this manner freight is always ultimately discovered, though sometimes it takes considerable time. In urgent cases this is done by telegraph. The great bone of contention between shippers and railroads is the time con sumed in adjusting claims. When a claim is paid the mass of correspondence that has accumulated is usually detached from the claimant's original papers, and he cannot, therefore. understand gwhy it could not have been paid sooner. Claims are never purposely delayed, and if shippers but knew the amount of labor involved. even in the simplest cases, com plairts on this score would be less fre. quent. The larger business houses are gifted with more patience in this respect than the country merchants. It is also true, as claimed by these smaller dealers, that the large shipper has his claim "put throngh" in much less time. There are sevenil reasons for this; the constant shipper. in pfresenting a claim, accompa nies it with all necessary documents, and gives a clear and concise statement of the ease, whereas the country merchant writes a rambling sort of letter, threatening to give all his shipments to -he A., 3. and C. road, and to do various other terrible ti";gs in the event of non-payment of his claim. and studiously avoids giving par ticulors, thus, in some cases, forcing the railroad to make out a case against itself. A mistake the country merchant fre oiuently makes is to send his claim to the shippers, asking them t o push it through for him. This course of procedure always causes delay. A claim presented by the owner of the property-if bill of lading or receipt, and paid freight bill, together with a letter of explanation, is submitted to the delivering road-will be handled with dispatch, be the ceaimant a large or small shipper. As a general rule overcharge claims are the most quicly disposed of. If occa sioned by an error of one road in a line such road usually stands the amount, and if the claim be based on a rate in force by a competing route all roads interested w.illingly reduce to that figuro upon pre sentation of proof. The loss and damage claims are more diliict-dt to handle. In the investigation of these matters, particularly damage claims, each road attempts to disprove any liability, and endeavors to shift the responsibiity upon another, and it is this discussion between the roads which causes the delays complained of most frequently. The method of investigatin'g claims of this nature is simple enough. The shipment is traced through from point of shipment, and the road on whose line shipment checks damaged or short pays the damage. It ofte-n happen~s, however, t hat the loss or danage canno'.t be located. It is then that correspond ence accumulates. and the claimaant's hair turns gray while waiting for his voucher. In eases where it is utterly impossible to locate the damage or loss it is the custom for all roads participating in the haul to join in payment of the damages. Several roads have recently adopted the plan of paying just claims as soon as presented. looking to their connections to "chip in"' afterward-Chicago Journal. Imnprovemient in Our School. The schools should be an aid to the im provement of man's estate. In no way has so much been accomplished in this direction as by new inventioas, by nme chanics or artisans. The improvement of our material surroundings places human ity on a higher plane, and euables thoso who care for it to obtain the education in classics, etc.' which they may desire. The tendency in the public schools should be to educate youths so that man may be better able to deal with his material surrounding:. That can be done in connection with the mecre bok~ education now given. But it is not done. A small departure in that direction has been made in the normal training. This needs to be carried fur ther. The expensive higher branece should be lopped off and more aid given to those who need it. The old methods must g'ive way to modern ideas. Improve ment in the school system is badly needed. -New York News. An Original Young XIs-. A little miss of this city, 3 or 4 years old, was in one of our shoe stores the other day, and after she had been fitted snc was asked by the salesman if she wanted them put on. She replied: "I dess I will wear 'em home in the box." Turlngton Tree Press. WOODCHUCK'S BURROWS. A Sportsman Who Examined rhem Tells How They Are Constructed. Through some parts of the State of Connecticut it would be hard to pick out a clover field of any size that did not have a woodchuck burrow in some part of it. Sometimes they choose a site somewhere under the stone wall which surrounds the field, or if there is a large rock, as Is often the case, anywhere about the middle of the field, the animal will burrow under this as a very choice location. Finally the roots of an old apple tree or other tree are often chosen for its strong hold, the burrow being dug down among them, the owner seeming to possess a realizing sense that no one would ever dream of attempting to dislodge him from such quarters. As is the case with the excavations made for their habitations by most fossorial mammals, the burrof of a woodchuck at first descends obliquely into the earth, then passes nearly horizontally for several feet, rises moderately for the last .half of its length to terminate in quite a spacious and round chamber, which constitutes the "living room" of the entire family. In it the female brings forth her litter and the young remain there until they pair off and dig their own homes elsewhere. Such a burrow may be at least thirty feet in length, so long that one never th'nks of digging a woodchuck out, but I have seen farmers bring up two or three barrels of water on a cart and drown the occupant of this subter ranean establishment on a short notice and rejoice most heartily if the pair and perhaps seven or eight quarter grown young are caught in at the same time. Very often I have captured them in steel traps set at the mouth of the burrows, taking the precaution to sprinkle it carefully over with fine dirt. One old woodchuck, I remem ber, constructed his burrow almost in the center of a twenty-acre clover lot, and every attempt to capture him in any kind of atrap utterly failed. It was the rarest thing in the world to even catch him standing up at the entrance of his burrow during the day, but fre quently we would see him just head and shoulders out of it. It seems to me I must have fired thirty or forty times at him under such circumstances from the outer side of the stone wall which surrounded the field, and that, too, with a heavy old-fashioned muz zle-loading Kentucky rifle, which at seventy-five to one hundred yards was good nearly every time for all small game. But here every shot failed; a cloud of dust would pull up at the very entranoe of the burrow each time and I would confidently walk over to pick him out, but no, next day at noon he was there again, looking out as smil ing as ever. He was captured finally by my cruelly tying a Colt's revolver to a stout stake driven down within a few feet of the burrow and training the aim down the entrance and then tying a long string to the trigger. I waited behind the wall till he again showed -himself, when the success of the device sealed his doom.-Forest and Stream. TRAINING CHILDREN. The Importance of Instl111ng Into Their Hearts Right Motives for Action. While we are making beautiful orna ments for our rooms, and lovely pict ures to hang on our wails, to delight the hearts and eyes of our children and friends, are we trying, also, to adorn the lives of our children by in stifling into their hearts and rminds right principles and motives for ac tionP Let us remember that memory's hall is a spacious chamber, capable of containing~ many pictures, and that the scenes beizig enacted, daily and yearly, before our children's eyes, and in which they are taking part, are forming pictures; and, unlike those on our walls, they are to remai~n there through life. If they are not pleas ing they can not be exchanged or effaced; so, don't you see how im portant it is that we are very careful in their formation? How much bet ter it will be in after years, when they grow up, to be able to call up pictures of green meadows, murmuring brook lets, the delightful woods, filled with harmless and beautiful creatures, and fragrant wild dlowers, than to remem ber these places only as they were represented to their youthful minds as the lurking place of something dread ful: toads, worms, bugs, and, as I have heard children say, "wildcats as big as a cow." Let us try and teach our children to be happy and enjoy their childhood while it lasts. Sympathize with them and try to call out all the good and beautiful in their natures by calling their attention to some of the thousands of wonderful and lovely objects all around them. Tell them of the butter fly and the changes through which it must pass before it becomes the -gor geous creature sailing among the flow ers, and of the nests of the robin or brown thrush, with their treasures of eggs or young birds, to be sought for, looked at and admired, but not harmed. Teach them the names of all the trees and plants, and the different kinds of birds in their vicinity, with something of their habits, and they will soon learn to love the study of nature, and their minds and hands will be occupied -for There's beaiuty nil around us, if but our watch fuil eyes Qan trace It 'mid familiar things and through their lowly guise. -Hours at Home. -A lady of Wrightsville, Ga., put up a lot of preserves and seasoned them with what she supposed to be ginger. What was her horror to find afterward that instead of ginger she hnA nsed snuff. -..- s FULL OF FUN. -Dreams go by contraries. But this is something a fellow never can seem to remmber when he is asleep. -Burlingtona Free Press. -"I received two orders to-day one for a full morocco, the other to get out," wrote a book canvasser to a firm of publishers employing him. -''You have heard a cat purr. I suppose?" asked the Judge. "Yes." replied the Major. "But, outside of poetry, you never heard a Cowper." -Sweet Girl-"Mercy! It's ten o'clock. Has time ever passed so quickly with you as it does now? De voted Lover (a traveling salesman) - "Never, except at a railroad dining station."--Philadelphia Record. -"I'm so sorry you spilt the ink," said the poet's wife. "Has it gone over your poem?" "No, confound it!" returned the poet, sadly, "it went! over my postage stamps."-Tife. --Masher-"My dear Miss Rustic, you have the most blooming cheek I have ever seen. Let me congratulate you." Miss Rustic-'Well, you have the most blooming cheek I have ever seen, but I can't cngratulate you on the fact. "--1.ondon*Punch. --Miss Ciara-"Yes, I enjoyed the opera last evening very much, Ethel, and afterwards, the supper at Del monico's. Mr. Featherly is a delight ful escort." Miss Ethel (a bosom friend)-"Do you know, Clara, I think you would make a very skillful violin player." Miss Clara-"Why?" Miss Ethel-"You have such a natural apti tude for working a beau."-Scribner's Maaazine. -Looking out of the window into a rainstorm, little Willie inquired: "Mamma, where does all the rain come from?" "From the heavens." "And do people drink all that water?" continued the little fellow. "Yes," was the reply. "Well." rejoined the small wit, "I should think it would be very unhealthy to drink, there are so many dead people up there!"-Boston Budget. -Guest (registering, to Hotel Clerk) -"I am Editor Styggles, of the Buck ville Gazette, but- I haven't-er-any baggage with me." Clerk (hospitably) -"Glad to see you. editor; that won't make the slightest difference." Guest -"My not having any baggage?" "No, your being Editor Styggles, of the Buckville (azette. Two dollars, please."-Epoch. -Briefless (entering the office of a fellow-disciple of Coke and Black stone)-"How goes it with you, Quib ble? It's as dull as ditch-water with me; I'm not making a cent!" Quibble -"Same here. Nary client." Briefiess -"Suppose we go into partnership? We might make a more respectable appearance as a firm." Quibble (for getting above mutual admissions) "H'm! I don't know about that. You see that scheme would divide profits and double expenses."-Judge. -Customer-"That was splendid in sect powder you sold me the other day, Mr. Oilman." Mr. Oilman (with justi iable pride)-'-"Yes, I think it's pretty good--the best in the trade." Cus tomer-"I'll take another couple of pounds of it; please." Mr. Oilman "Two pounds?"' Customer-"Yes, please. I gave the quarter of a pound that 1 bought before to a black beetle-, and it made him so ill that I think if I keop up the treatment for about a week [ may manage to kill him. "-Fun. SAW THE CONNECTION. Adventures of a Man Who Had No Squash in is Eyes. "Is that check good for any thing?" sked a passenger off the Lake Shore road of the policeman at the Detroit & iilwaukee depot yesterday. ."No, sir," replied the officer, after am inspection. "That's a confidence mian's check. How much did you letI im have?" "Thirty dollars." ' "WVell, you have been swindled. Didn't you ever read of their gamnes?" "Lots of times." "And you were roped in?" ' "Yes." "I can't help you any." "I don't want you to. I want you toz ook at this." He handed the officer a parcel which, : pon being opened, was found to con-3 ain a large bunch of human hair which had been pulled out by theI roots, together with a piece of a man's ear "And count this," added the man, as e held out a roll of money. "Here are seventy dollars, and what oes it all mean?" asked the officer. "I'm the man that was swindled. 1 [his truck belonged to the chap who' hought he had caught a sucker. See~ he connection? Closely observe my eft eye. See any squash in there? eel of my head. Any soft spots any there around? Tr'ia-la, old boy, and rell 'em not to weep for yours truly!" Det ro i' ree Pr'ess. An Evidence of Insanity. "M~r. Yoder', youlr daughter Irene as given me her perission to ask of ou her hand i nmarri: ::; ~u, before 1; ask for your fcnn::1 onsent you will C ardon me i~f I ;aake the inquiry, as t It is a matteri of lifelong consequence C o mn'. whether or not there have ever p cn any indications of insanity, so y rar as you know, in your family?" I "You say Irene has accepted you, y dr. Hankinsun?". "I am happy to say she has." f ] "Then, sir," said the old man, shak-r Ing his hand dejectedly, "it is Iny i iuty, as her father, to tell you that I 8 ~hnk Irene is showing decided indica- r anna8 Of inanity.-.Chaaa Tribune. ,i WIS OF THE PAST. ramous Englshmen Who Said Some Very Sharp and Pat Things. The late Mr. Alexander, the -emi nent architect, was under cross-exam [nation at Maidstone by Sergeant, afterward Baron, Garrow, who wished to detract from the weight of his tes timony, and, after asking him what was his name, proceeded: "You are a builder, I believe?" "No, sir, I am not a builder; I am an architect." "They are much the same, I suppose?" "I beg your pardon, sir; I can not admit that; I consider them to be to tally different." "0, indeed! per haps you will state wherein this great difference exists?" "An architect, sir," replied Mr. Alexan der, "conceives the design, prepares the plan, draws out the specifications -in short, supplies the mind; the builder is merely the bricklayer or the :arpenter. The builder, in fact, is the machine; the architect the power that puts the machine together and sets it going." "0, very well, Mr. Architect, that will do. And now, after your very ingenious distinction without a differ mnce, perhaps you can inform the court who was the architect of the Tower of Babel?" The reply for promptness and wit is not to be rivaled in the whole history of rejoinder: "There was io architect, sir, and hence the con fuslon." One evening at Carlton House the Prince Regent observed the author of "The Heir-at-Law." "Why. Colman, rou are older than I am." George re plied: "Oh, no, sir; I. could not have aken the liberty of coming into the world before your Royal Highness." When a subscription was proposed or Fox and some one was observing ;hat it would require some delicacyand wondering ho.i Fox would take it, Sel wyn said: "Take it? Why quarterly, o be sure." To all istters sollcitingtds subscrip ion to any thing, Erskine has a regu ,ar form of reply, viz.: "Sir, I feel nuch honored by your application to ne and I beg to subscribe"-here the reader had to turn over the leaf-"my ielf your very obedient servant," etc. "My Lord," said Dr. Parr to Erskine, whose conversation had delighted him, "should you die first I mean to write tour epitaph." "Dr. Parr," was the reply, "it is a temptation to commit suicide." One of Curran's friends, a notorious ad lucky gambler, getting entangled n conversation with him, gradually lost his temper, and at last said, with treat vehemence: "No man, sir, shall rifle with me with impunity." Curran :orrected him by saying: "Play with rou, you mean." An old lady residing in one of the charming villas near Tours, observing that her watch had stopped, told her aid to see what o'clock it was on the sun-dial in the garden. In a few min 2tes Mlle. Nicole returned, quite out )f breath and carrying something teavy in her apron. "Ma foi, nadame," said she, "I can't make out what it says, so I have brought it here, that madame may.look at it herself." Bushe, the Irish Chief Baron, made ;his impromptu verse upon two agita ers who refused to fight duels, one on tcount of his affection for his wife md the other because of his love for ts daughter: Ltwo heroes of Erin, abhorent of slaughter, Improved on the Hebrew command; )ne honored his wife and the otherliis daughter, That his days mnight be long in the land. Dr. Croly said very smart things md with surprising readiness. At his able one day when one of the guests nquired the name of a pyramidal dish >f barley-sugar, some one replied: "A: yramid a Macedoipe.." "For whati se?" rejoined the 4ther. "To give a hlip to the appetite," said Croly. At the breaking up of a fashionable arty, one of the company said he was bout to "drop" in at Lady Blessing on's; whereupon a young gentleman, 1perfect stranger to the speaker, very nodestly said: "0, then, you can take ne with you; I want very much to :ow her, and you can introduce me." hile the other was standing aghast t the impudence of the proposal and nuttering something about being but slight acquaintance himself, etc., ydney Smith observed: " ir~'ge our young friend; you can do it easily nough by introducing him in a ca acity very desirable at this close sea on of the year-say you are bringing rith you the cool of the evening." endon Society Times. Indian Mounds in Iowa. According to intelligence from that stato several Indian mounds were re ently opened in the country around )ubuque, "all seeming to confirm the heory that these mounds contain the es of a prehistoric race, differing reatly from the American Indian, and ,vastly superior order of intelligence ,ad civilization. Last .week several keletons, in a perfect state of preser ation, where taken from a mound a al from Dubuque. They have been riculated and are now on exhibition. hey are of huge stature. Another rge mound, at Charles City, in Floyd ~ounty, has also been explored. Hesre ie skeletons were in a trench, instead f on the ground, and a quantity of ottery, arrow-heads and stone im lements of peculiar design were also nund. The most curious relic was a ase with a rim ornamented in the aine fashion as vases found in ancient nglish znouinds and described in the eport of the United States Bureau of thnology. That report states that pecimens of this kind are exceedingly are in this country. Further explora lans are to be mada,"