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WHERE IRONY KILLS THE AMERICAN SPREAD-EAGLE Gridiorn Club Banter Is Always Music to the Statesmen's Ears Aaron Hardy Ulm in The Dearborn Independent. Imagine a young United States senator, famous as a "boy orator ~ ? ' ? i a /\ m /-3 and noted for long speecnes, auditing his first banquet in Washington. The toastmaster in presenting him as a speaker reminds him that long addreses are wearisome and should be avoided. "So that we might be of help to you," the toastmaster concludes, "we have decided to present you with this alarm clock. Before making a speech in the senate, wind up the alarm, set the clock on your desk and when the alarm goes off, stop." The senator, primed for a display of his eloquence, responds. Just as he rises to lofty flights, tne ciock sitting before him breaks into loud, jangling sound, which continues for several moments. Amid the roar of laughter which goes up, the senator, recognizing the satire, sits down and makes no further attempt to "wax eloquent." In ways like thai the Gridiron club of Washington frequently reminds public men that they can take themselves too seriously, and it incidentally reminds the public that many1 matters of seemingly ponderous import may not be so serious as they seem. Twice a year and occasionally three times a year the most famous dining club in America, if not the world, turns its fonts of humor and satire on men prominent in national life and on current national questions. Whole Country Can Smile All the country shares in part the fun produced at the famous dinners of the Gridiron club, for no Sunday morning newspaper ever omits the description of its stunts, which alone is all that is ever permitted to be published regarding its dinners. The club has only one fixed rule, which is that "ladies are always present and reporters are never present." Each is a "constructive" fact, for the club is composed essentially of reporters and only once has a woman been invited to and attended one of its regular dinners. The woman thus honored was Miss Jeanette Rankin, who, when serving as the first woman member of congress, was among the guests at a Gridiron affair. While the Gridiron club serves a good national purpose by way of satizing men who often take themselves too seriously and current questions which the public frequently takes too seriously, it is really an or ganization witnout a purpose, it nas no high-sounding code of principles and has never attempted to speak for any group, not even for the corps of Washington correspondents, from which its members came and come. Though only men who are doing newspaper work in Washington are admitted to active membership, to leave newspaper work or move from J i J: ? Wasilillgiuil uues liui uisquctiii^ omember for further participation in club alfairs. In fact, many of the active members are no longer newspaper men, and there is a substantial list of associate members, or former active members, who no longer reside at the national capital. Then there are 10 limited members who have no journalistic claim, but each of whom has some special entertaining talent, usually, as in the case, say, of John Philip Sousa, in the musical line. Thp rhih is rinw in its thirtv-eev enth year, having been formed in 1885. Of its charter members only four survive and no one of them is at present a Washington correspand: ent. ^ Club Product of Friction The famous dining club, whose dinner invitations are more highly prized even by men of the greatest prominence than perhaps those of any other organization in America, was the product of friction between newspaper correspondents and some of the public men of the time in Washington. Back in the days when the status of the Washington correspondent was vague and undecided, a public man resenting criticism or the publication of matter he didn't like to see in print sometimes would try to ''punish" individual correspondents or the corps as a group. In the early eighties two correspondents were.ordered to jail by the United States senate * r r x- 1. _ 1 U ?... ? xur reiusmg 10 nia?.e kiiuwii nuw a copy of a treaty, under secret discussion, was procured for publication. Another time a speaker of the house of representatives insisted on the right to "pack" the press gallery wit}: curious and casual visitors, to the discomfort and at times the exclusion of the working reporters. Such occurrences forced the corespondents into self-defensive cooperation. They raised a furor that caused the two who were in jail to be released. They formed themselves into squads which guarded the entrances to the house press gallery and turned back casual ! visitors who demanded admittance by I authority of the speaker. In planning their defensive battles, tiioy often met together at dinner, where they soon learned that ridicule r.r:d satire were of more avail than formal protest or solemn assertation. Out of those meetings grew ;.he Gridiron club, which from its beginning has ?1 -- - ~ v,,] T i-t >i _ v. <1 ! inor Deen Olliy a uimug aim iUM-iiiuau>& organization. In the early days the -nenibership was limited to a maximum of 40,, but even at that it was difficult to keep the club fully membered; for Washington correspondents wore not so numerous as at present ?ni some would not participate. Now tne active membership is limited :o 50 and to be invited to join the club is among the highest honors within his profession which a Washington correspondent can attain. Neither well-planned fun-making oe o riinnpr feature nor the particular J CiO c+ - ? kind that has made the Gridiron club world-famous was an "invention" of members of the organization. The Clover club of Philadelphia antedated the Gridiron as a fun-making dining club, and the Gridiron's peculiar variety of skits was originated by an outsider. At a dinner given^the club in its early days by R. F. Crowell, the first rehearsed, stage-like stunts were i enacted, most of them being satires on the club members. The club took over the idea and applied it in the main to public men and public affairs. For the last 30 years or more ! each of its formal dinners, one usualj ly in early winter and the last in late i winter or early spring, has been ' planned like a show for theater perl formance. All the skits have been | written or otherwise devised by club | members, who also with one or two exceptions have been the sole performers. The only outside assistance j called in has to do chiefly with the i costuming. ; Every president since Cleveland . has been the subject of Gridiron ban , ter and every one since Cleveland has been a guest of the club. President i Cleveland would never attend a Gridiron dinner and he was inclined to resent some of the satiric strictures applied to his policies at clu-o dinners. Harrison was the first president to attend a Gridiron dinner, and on the occasion in question he surprised the organization by showing that he could meet its members on their own ground. After subjecting him to the : usual amount of badinage,' he was , called on to speak. It happened that; i only a lew days beiore ne had acted a convention of patent lawyers vand inventors. j | "This is the second time this week," he remarked as he rose, "that I have been called on to open a congress of American inventors." His ' speech was one of the best ever delivered at a Gridiron dinner. After he concluded a member went over to Perry S. Heath, who was Harrison's confidential correspondent, and declared: "I didn't know it was in him." 4 "Oh, he's all right on his feet," Heath replied. "It's only when he sits down that he falls down. When Bryan Met Bryan i That was in 1892. Theodore Roose It _ _ /"! veic, as uivn service commissioner, attended his first Gridiron dinner in 1890 and fittinglly it would seem waG the subject of a skit on that occasion. He made a witty speech, and iho impression he made may have had much to do with his future. , Of all men Roosevelt has been the source to dare of most Gridiron "copy.'' His career and activities were such that for i more than a quarter of a century thee was scarecely a Gridiron dinner at which he could be ignored. It was Roosevelt who in 1908 helped to produce one of the few unplanned Gridiron sensations which, despite the rule against quoting speakers, got into the news. It was at the time of ;he controversy over his summary action , with regard to the negro troopers, in, volved in the Bnownsville riots. A clever skit had to do with the Brownsville affair. Senator Joseph B. Foraker, who was the guest of the club and a speaker at the dinner, took occasion to make an attack on Roosevelt, who, when his turn to speak came, made a counter attack on Foraker. However, no full report of what either said has ever been published, though the newspapers of the day carried accounts of the verbal encounter. Once or twice full speeches made , by guests at Gridiron dinners have i ? xl. ^ appeared in me newspapers. untc, . about 1896, when Cardinal Satolli i was new in Washington as the first . representative there of the Pope, he . was induced to attend a Gridiron i dinner, and he agreed to make a . I speech. After a few remarks he ask.! ed that an associate be permitted to . iread an address he had prepared for ; the occasion. In it he set forth at - length the reason for his being in ^Washington, something on which the - correspondents lofg had been urging 11 him to express himself. When the secretary of the club asked for a copy of the speech for permanent record, he was informed that it had been given out in advance through a press association. There was nothing else to do but to make it available to all { correspondents. At one of the few dinners given by j the clui) during our active participation in the World war a speech made by President Wilson was released for publication several days after its dei livery on account of the national im-j portance of what he had said. Wilson, while at the White House, was a frequent subject of Gridiron : satire and often was present whenj skits having to do with his policies were enacted. He took the badinage, in all good nature. William Jennings Bryan, who for j actual time in national office has been: the subject of more Gridiron fun-' making than any other American j public man, always takes good naturedly the grilling applied to him and sometimes contributes a pre-arranged part. Once when he was secretary of state it was announced*beforehand that on account of a prior engage- j ment Bryan couldn't attend one of the dinners to which he had been invited. But when the dinner began there was seen sitting on the left of the presiding officer a person who looked like Bryan. 1 Later in the evening the real Bryan eame in. "I am tired of this man Hanford (the actor who on prior occasions had taken part in skits as "Bryan") impersonating me," the secretary of state exclaimed. "I've tried to impersonate all the great actors of the time," Hanford replied, "and I certainly can't ignore' you." Hanna was among the most popular of. all the more or less regular guests the Gridiron club has had at its din ners. When he first appeared at one, he had just come into national prominence and was made the subject of aj satiric skit. When he arose to speak. , i ne Gaia: "I know many members . of the) Gridiron club. I have met most of you on the tented fields?and in the1 barrooms of New York." ! There is nothing that a guest can do at a Gridiron elub which will hit; ' so well as to hand its members a j "come back" with punch in it, and there is little that sets so Jjadly as' fulsome talk about the power of the pre.ss, the importance of the Fourth Estate and other pointless flattery. | President Never" Caricatured Often a man of national aspiration ' but not well known nationally can j j render himself a tremendous service by demonstrating at a Gridiron club! dinner that he has "the goods." | Though no report of what they say is, maHp it fllK n'ftori lionnorifl/1 +V>ai- on/?Vi I v*. wii a?y|/viivu wiau OUV/ii a man has earned the serious- attention of the newspaper world by such a demonstration. This was so veryj largely with John A. Johnson, the j popular Democratic governor of Minnesota, who in 1908 aspired to a pres-i idential nomination. At a Gridiron' 'dinner he made a surprising speech,' filled with rich humor and sound phi-, losophy?it is said by some members ^ ' to have been the finest surprise ' among many that have occurred at j the dinners. But for his untimely j ' death Johnson might have . become i ! 1 11. _ . 1 1 I 1 president ana me unquoiea spoecn j might have been of great h?lp to him.; While many men as Gridiron guests have displayed talents of, i which they were not suspected, the' ! reverse of a pleasing surprise occasionally has. occurred. Sometimes a speaker has ignored the five-minute ' rule, which applies to all except the President of the United States, and I ' given forth laborious addresses that j were wholly unsuited to the occasion." t The president also is never impersonated, and is the only American public | man who is thus held to be,above di; rect and personal caricature. His policies and current expressions, however, are held always to be fit subjects of satire. 1 I | The United States supreme court is the single American politico- public! institution that is never satirized, though some of its decisions have' i . i i i .. p i Deen maae suDjects 01 numorous quips figuring in club humor. In re-! cent years few members of the isu-l preme court have attended Gridiron' dinners. The reason is believed to bet the sense of judicial dignity that was I i held by the late Chief Justice White. He would never attend one of the affairs, for the reason, he said, that someone might take advantage of the occasion to attack the supreme, court., "Then I would have to reply," he said, J'and that would never do." Two Most Notable Gatherings The reason why speakers at Gridiron dinners are held strictly to the time limit is because the programs are so minutely planned that if an event overlaps its allotted time the schedule of the evening is disarranged. So that the situation can be met when disarragement is unavoidable, the president of the club, who always presides at the dinners, has despoticauthority over both the preparation and the enactment of the program. The two most notable dinners that have been given by the Gridiron club occurred in 1898 at the close of the Spanish-American war and last year at the opening- the Limitation of Armament conference. At the first dinner the greatest number of men of national prominence was present; at the last the greatest number of world prominence. The 1921 dinner was given largely for the distinguished delegates from abroad to the Limitation of Armament conference and by reason of their presence it was one of the most notable gatherings of the kind ever held anywhere. While it has many imitators there is no other club in all the world like the dining organization maintained i>y Washington correspondents. It may be doubted if another of the kind is possible anywhere. One could not operate very well elsewhere in the United States, not for the lack of talent, but because of the absence of background. It is the atmosphere of Washington and the immediate contact there with national figures and big national questions which'make possible the high success of and the national interest in Gridiron affairs. The affairs serve to . show that things political are not always so se 1 i .mi rious as they seem; ana 11 you win read a review of them?as set forth, say, in Arthur Wallace Dunn's interesting book,' "Gridioron Nights" (to which the writer of this is indebted for much of the material in this article)?you will be inclined to wonder why some of the "serious" subjects satirized in the past were ever thought by anyone to be serious at all. Through the application of the philosophy of humor the club merely anticipates the mellowing influence of Time. Silver*treet Mr. Mansfield Perry of Saluda visited his son Sealum ^Monday. Mr. Perry says business is very dull in Saluda.I ,..r J. P. Long of Saluda; was here the past week. Mr. Long's,many friends are always .glad to welcome him to his ? T xormer numc. '-> Mrs. Richard Martrn is expected to return from Little ^Mountain Friday. Miss Ollie Berry who has typhoid fever is improving. As soon as practical she will go to Saluda to visit her grandparents, Mr. and Mrs. C. H. Swindler, thinking the-change will be beneficial. Miss Ethel Blair of "Newberry visViotq T?9vrrirmrl Tllair has not forgotten his old Irfcme and comes froni Newberry frequently. Mr. and Mrs. S. Berry visited relatives Jn Saluda Sundsty. Claude Berry was -here a short while Monday. Jim Blair of Columbia spent Sunday night with friends there. Otto Nichols is looking serious recently. Miss Marjory Martift visited her brother in the country Tuesday. Mrs. Bettie Coleman of Saluda sent some very fine cabbage here for sale. Mrs. Mary Suber, who is with her daughter Mrs. C. L Leitzsey has been ill for a few days, but is now fairly well. The hum of Sample's planer is heard day and night, and the trucks and wagons loaded with lumber keep quite a busy little place. IN COMPLIMENT TO MISS MARY WALLACE One of the loveliest .parties of this v_*ry gay -social season was given Tuesday afternoon by Mrs. Raymond Fellers, Miss Clara Bowers and Mrs. Joe Feagle at the home of Mrs. Feagle, in honor of Miss Mary Wallace, whose marriage to Mr. Rutledge occurred Wednesday at .high noon. The attractive home of Mrs. Feagle presented a pretty picture with masses of giant hydrangeas and quantities of daisies and other summer blossoms being used very effectively in the rooms. Five tables of bridge furnished entertainment for the guests and the head table- was marked for the bride with a novelty bridal couple. The score cards were hand-painted, representing Dan Cupid 'bearing aloft a cup with a toast "To the Bride." After an interesting round of bridge the hostesses served a refreshing course of fruit sherbert and angel cake, and little souvenir mint baskets fashioned of pink crepe and tulle were presented the guests. After the games the players were joined by Mrs. Minnie Wallace and Mrs. Rutledge, the mothers of the bride and groom. It was a most delightful party and a charming compliment to the honor guest. "Men treat flappers like dogs" exclaims a lecturer. Lap dogs? Many a captain of industry thinks he ought to be a general. 'tuberculosis work being i done in the state ! ? ' . | Some County Figures Concerning Prevention cf This Disease j In spite of the fact that South Carolina has been passing through a period of financial depression and consequent retrenchment in expenditure of public funds, there has been an increase of $15,850.00 over last year in appropriations by the state, counties and cities for the fight against tuberculosis, according to a statement of the South Carolina Tuberculosis association. While the legislature cut the api propriation for the maintenance at the state sanitarium $10,649.95 an appropriation of $17,500.00 was made for building and improvements, thus leaving a gain of $6,550.00. The city oi unarieszon appiupn<ncu $3,000.00 to Charleston county sanitarium which is in process of construction. Richland county increased' its appropriation $2,000.00 and the city of Columbia added $1,000.00 to its former appropriation to the Richland County Anti-Tuberculosis association. Other counties show an increase of $3,000.00. This increase in appropriation, with funds from the tuberculosis Christmas seal sale and contributions from charitable societies and individuals will increase the number of available beds for the treatment of the dis ease by approximately 30 beds. The number of beds at present available at the state sanitarium also county and private sanitoria is 176. With the addition of 30 the number will be raised to 206. While this increase is encouraging- it represents only a slight approach to the number of beds needed for South Carolina if the state is to adequately handle the tu. berculosis problem. There should be 13,000 beds available in this state j now. "The importance of an intensive ' ?" ~ 11 1 n cfvn "f 'ATT campaign iicii juav uccu uiuona^u the results of the Framingham, Mas; sachuisetts, experiment," said President J. Nelson 'Frierson, of the state association. "In seven years time the death rate has been (cut twoj thirds. This would represent in South Carolina a saving of over 1,000 lives every year." -- I I Those who are doing active work in Newberry county to fight this dread, disease are the personnel of the county health department, working in cooperation wtfch the various organizations that are interested in this 1 fight. Two clinics have been held at the office of the county health department and 44 examined, also about 60 more' examinations have j been made and several unsuspected cases have been found this way and | treatment instituted at once, me county nurse visited a number of i hom^s and has given instructions to' wards prevention of the spread of the f disease in the household and the comImunifcy. Four cases have been sent i to the state sanitarium. That tuberculosis is a community j problem is surely shown by the death ' rate and the great prevalence of the j disease. There are estimated over j400 cases in Newberry county and the records' chow that for the last I three years at least 44 have died. The I county health department holds a j constant free clinic lor any one who wishes to be examined and to get expert advice. There are a limited number of beds at the state sanitarium for free patients and those suffering from ''this disease should certainly avail themselves of such an opportunity to win their way back to i health. j , ? On the Reunion of Confederate Veterans at Darlington? S. C., on May 17 and 18, 1922 I ? - The State. I Dear Darlington, so good and kind. ; Accept the Veterans' thanks and praise. Whatever else may chance, you'll find That we shall love you all our days. I No words I'm able to employ, Will fully serve me-to express What you have made for us?what joy, { What gayety, what happiness. I To sing your praise, I've sought the aid | Of bright Melpouene, the muse; I But she, the unrelenting jcde, I Doth all my fond appeals refuse. i | The reason why I can't appease jThat female, now I dare aver; | Is that she's jealous for she sees f I love you more than I love her. i 'I must submit, and be resigned rn - 4-1%#* ?fAv?rlc T -Toir* ixmnlrJ Q.QTJ L (J iJIJSS LI1C tvuiuo i laiii nuu.u .. , In praise of you, and speak my mind | In but a dull and homely way. i But this I promise: o'er and o'er, : Our thanks and love for you we'll i tell; | And say, no city can do more, ^ | NEW PR for Effective s I Klim Bi Powdered W 1 lb. can 2 1-2 lb. can 5 lb. can Klim B: Powdered Ski: 1 lb. can 2 1-2 lb. can : ? 5 lb. can i Telephone orck promt I Distribut ROYAL COFFE: | Geo.W.C i Main St. I /hn a /%N Ik) 1 $Z4.t>5 lNewoerr Atlantic C Southern Rail \ DATES OF June 28th, 1922?Souths Ohio RR. , July 6, 1922?Southern ] Excursion Tickets good 1? Stop-overs permitted on r Baltimore and Philadelphia v $25.85 ALS< R^ound Trip To Asbury Fark, Long Branch,. Se* Park and Spring A ra^e opportunity to visi For complete information S. H; McLean, DPA., Columb f ''. And doubt that- any can do as well, j i] IJ \ We'll spread abroad your worth and ^ fame, , ^ We'll claim for you a great renown; *J For as you know with us your name ^ Shall henceforth be "The Darling ! Town." s i ' J. F. J. Caldwell. t] i Newberry. , v SUNDAY SCHOOL ON <b ; THE RIVER BANKS v The young men's class No. 15 of 8 A)\T. _ll ni ?. : J i_ _ 1 "1_ 1 ?\ u:\ean street, metnoaist cnurcn nas ^ just arrived from their annual fish- c ing trip which lasted one week. c 1 We left on Saturday June 3, and * returned Saturday, June 10. On ar- J riving at the place, which was in Mr. ; Quincy Hendrix's pasture in the fork v of the Big a^d Littl? Saluda risers, 1 | we ar once started putting up +he j I camp. This not being the first trip ! c of th*a kind the boys soon had up-six a ; large tents and an army field range c stove, all the property of the class. z I After supper the boys, numbering ; t about twenty-five, spent part of the ! a .night in fishing. They had pretty|( ( fair luck. had Sun-' ? I \Jll OUiiuaj *1 v ( ; day school at the regular hour. We,| i having some of the Sunday school's i ,songs books, had good singing. A: j funny incident happened just as the' teacher started the lesson. Some j ! hogs got in our cooking tent and got ; ; a piece of cheese, which we were j * j counting big on haying some cheese rpie, and Johnnie Wood tured out to! be a hero and rescued the cheese.: Then the teacher taught some good j i lessons from Jeremiah. After Sun- 1 day school we enjoyed a real chicken j ; dinner, which consisted of fourteen ! 1 frying size chickens with everything " I to match. At this meal we had lots ! 1 ' nf visitors who seemed to enjoy the i i I -'dinner,by the way tfyey ate. After 11 I dinner came the rain but -the boys'? were prepared for bad weather and this waG not dreaded. On rising bright and early Monday j morning we began to cut poles and j j put out trout lines, get bait and get '< j ready in general for a week of fish ICES : &? -*is it Once rand hole Milk t>J> 1.35 2.60 rand ;, mmed Milk 40 85 "if x s i en IfUV ? srs delivered >tly , ;ed by E COMPANY Corner dewberry, S. C. y, S. C. 24.65 'ity, N. J. way System SALES , irn Ry. and Baltimore & Ry. and Pennsylvania RR. I days returning. j - ' > otnrn trin at Washinorton. within final limit of tickets. j 3 $25.85 | . Round Trip Ocean View, i Girt, Seaside Lake, N. J. I * ' ' i / V". t these popular resorts. i. f ' ' apply to Ticket Agts>., or ia, S. C. * : "r-d ng. The boys paired off, some to sh set hooks, and some to fish trot a? nrVUr*4* tn Cr*?Vi + 4-U a U/vvO fT f .... i'-* .iiCO*. JLIiaU IllgXiC 1/ilC he set hooks caught more fish than . he boys fishing the trot lines. This ; sras the last time for the trot line oys could fi6h day and eight and oon got' in the lead and remained here. v -jt' Well, the 'days rolled by and the ;eek was soon over and we came iack better boys and better fitted to irork and to do God's will. This class of young inert is well or- iV ;anized with Dewey Kinard as teachr, and George Ammons as .presi[ent. We all work for the uplift of kiir nm mn ni'fir TU a /tin nn UACmm 'Ui. kUlIKIIUIllVJfi x lie ciaas UCIIlg veil organized of young men we enoy many social activities. We have a past history of which ve are very proud. During the Vorld war we were represented in Jncle Sam's army and navy. The lass is yet represented in the army tnd navy. We have turned out Sun- ' J lay school teachers, superintendents md college professors, and now home toys in the South's best schools such is Clemson, Georgia Tech and the Citadel. We have Sunday school every Suni i lay morning at 9:45. Visitors are nvifpr? Written by a Member. kVklTMIRE DOWNS WILDCAT NINE Dclumbians Fail to Get Single Hit or to Get Player on Bases Whitmire, June 15.?Whitmire defeated the Columbia Wildcat3, 9 to 0. lere this afternoon. Not a'Wildcat *ot on first, and not more than three nen were at the bat in any inning. Whitmire got 12 clean hits, while Coumbia got none. McNeal struck out four of Whitmire's men. This makes ten victories for Whitmire this season. Batteries: Whitmire, Shannon rj-ncl Millwn^ul Pilnmhin. MpMprI r, "I Hedgepath. , 7 "Flappers are angels on eairh," t ;? continues the lecturer. They do fly around all the time. i 11 3 . i