The herald and news. (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, August 05, 1910, Page FIVE, Image 5
By Squibs.
* * * * .*,.* * * * * *
sprink!*. snrin&. mawr:
How I wish you'd come agai.
Drco that hottest day yet. Revis
your memory, lest you forget.
Squibs. who is th1i invitep, takes thi
method of informing bi many intit
ors that it is a physical and 'nent'
impossibilty for him qo ac :ept th 'li
invitations to come up and come dowr
and come over and como arond an<
write of this. that and the other thirg
He appreciates it aad feeis cCt4li
mented. but there is a line to be drawt
somewhere.
The Herald and News job offici
"Red Wing" says that this grievanc<
drartmenit of the pape- must put in
plea or- him that the city authoritie
have all the lower limbs of the tree
overhanging sidewalks cut off as the:
interfere with his going about, mak
ing him stoop too often and too low
Not desiring to make anyone angry
but not caring much of it does, 'thi.
question is ventured: Whose duty i,
it, or is it anybody's, to see that va
cant lots in the city are cleaned occa
sionally? Can the owners of lots b
made to clean their lots, or has th
health officer anything to do with it
The question is asked for informa
tion. There are several lots overrui
with weeds, trash, tin cans, etc.
Some of the "temporary widowers'
in this city are getting to be some
what restless.
Amity Lodge, No. 87, A. F. If.
An extra communication of Amit:
Lodge, No. 87, A. F. M., will be hel(
next Monday evening at 8.00 o'cl,
in Fraternity Hall. Visiting brethrei
cordially welcomed.
The E. A. degree will be conferred
H. W. Dominick, W. M.
J. W. Earhardt, Secretary.
LOVE, MARRIAGE AND
THE TELEPHONE GIRT,
When Dan Cupid slips slyly arou
seeking what mischief he can do thes<
days, his favorite side partner is thi
hello girl.
'I hat is because she usa.y furnish
es two strings to his bow, and' Cupit
A only knows how many beaus to i*
stings. The society uO.a ity his be
come merely an adjunct to the tele
pbene girl's amatory activities, who
they are vicarious; the fair typewrit.e
.s simply an also-ran, whaen they ar<
personal. She is Cupid's fair ensnar
er, leader-on, to sacrifices, his mos
devoted ally-and, at last, his mos
ruthlessly sacrificed victim.
Being what she is, a woman, the
alliance is the one which, more ihai
all others, seems to appeal to her ton<
nature; and when it comes to the sac
rifice, the tender-hearted hello girl i
there with the goods-which goods ar
guaranteed by the exacting companie~
that employ her as being specially se
lected, well above grade and warrant
ed sound of wind, limb and hearing
The people who know most abou
her and her helpful qualities wonde
how Cupid was able to do businesl
before she blew into it The telephon
companies are in constant fever o
anxiety as to how they keep on doing
business while she blows out of it.
In her vicarious role, she is merel:
the Disembodied Voice-nothing mort
seductive than the wall that partes
Pyramus from his Thisbe. But sh<
certainly does help the parted lovers
"Hello"-in tones feigned but pain
ed-"let me have Axminster 4-11
please!"
Zmshrfrlvn!" the Voice responds
with that chain-lightning intonatioi
of if-you-don't-knoWv-your-number-I
do-and-don't-forgetit-either.
"Hello"-in tones no more feigned
but no less pained--"is that you
Heloise? Yes? Well, darling, you:
father has just punched my eyebrow!
through my cerebellum, chained ti
dog to the front scraper and promise<
to be home for a week to take thi
muail from the letter carrier himself
Meet me at the station at half-past 11
and we'll flee together to endless bliss
Sure? Half-past i0. Good-bye!"
Where would you have been but fo:
that Disembodied Voice, so chronical
17 superarticulate that you can't tel
what she says, while you feel certain
she 'loesn't care a darn? The hell<
girl has made more matches than tht
7most busy scratchen ever planned
and has helped along more love ap
nointments than sht" lwrself imagines
Fact is, she iin-s in a ;uery talkim
machine of rormance. and she does::'
resst t nssef lngs than he
years, on the average. When she?
ries, she g;iUs ner job, differing i
that r.spz: :ros thousu:ds of schoo
teachers, typewriters and especiall y
pre-eminently, sh is fitted by nature
to get what she is after.
When the department of conmmer-c
and lah)r so.mnly MrPin'd to i
at h us sf il.
telehonegirl. the irst thing it lean
ed was that she belongs to a corps of
picked feminity. The companies, be
cause of switchboard requirements,
won't bire any girl whose reach of
mls is lss thnt a Ct2rtLain siuIldard
extreme, and that shuts out all girls
lower than flive feet in height. They
are sized up, on applicant examina
tion, for complexion. as indicating
condition of digestion and nerves for
firmness of chin and positiveness of
expression, as indicating stability of
character; for body weight, as indi
cating state of health; for neatness of
appearance, as indicating orderliness,
and for apparent age, as indicating
that they are neither too young nor
too old for *.he strainl off he j
Those qualifications, plus the prime
requisites of acuteness of hearing and
fluency or articulation, are precisely
the ones that make the successful
candidate for marriage. Cupid himself
couldn't have detined more enticingly;
the peaches he most loves to use in
the temptation of men. But at that
stage the telephone companies part;
ways with him and do their best to
emulate Bluebeard.
The fascinating possessor of all
these perfections is immured the
whole day in that mysterious apart
ment known as "Central," and longing
man may not gaze upon her alluring
countenance. All he can do is exe
crate her staccato voice-if he's one
of the married ones whose soul is
bent on business. Somehow or other,
as experience proves, the other kind
so often finds that voice of hers so
filled with entrancing cadences and
melting tones that, on the average,
only three years elapse before Blue
beard, in the person of the company,
has to rustle around for another oc
cupant of Central, while her predeces
sor is off on a honeymoon.
The hello girl's wages range from
$22.40 per month, in Nashville, Tenn.,
to $36.96 in New York city, while the
biggest of all the phone companies
pays an average monthly wage of
$30.91. That does suffice to hold them
-for a while, but for a while only.,
When the usual three years are up,
off the hello girl goes, to marry and,
like as not, to live on some man's
$30.91 per month with all the pristine
faith of woman that what is enough
for one ought to be enough for two.
Every year in Chicago alone 1,300 hel- --
10l girls quit the realm of romance,"
where they act as the goddesses out
side of the machine, to try their own
particular adventures in the land of
love and marriage, where the rule is
the simple one of the stronger, and
where there isn't any bar against an
swering back. IA
My AutomokangaroO.
SCross-country riding ,in especially A
Idesigned motors is to be the next fad.
-Exchange.
She jumps,
SeShe bumps,
Secrosses the thank you marms
With all the ease
Of a swarm of fleas
On African monkey farms.
She bounces high
As the beautiful sky,
And travels along the blue So
Like a fleecy cloud,
Sun kissed and proud, O
* My automokangaroo!
She wings,
Sa a springs, At
heleai's o'er the underbrush
With the easy grace
Of a fairy race Ar
Brought up in the sedges lush.
She cleaves the dark
-Like the homebound lark,
With a note that is strong and true,W
Now here, now there,
On earth, in air, Gc
My automokangaroo!
She glides, B
She slides.
O'er the hills and the leafy vales. In
She never stops
For the shouting cops,
But speeds like the winter's gales, Fc
She never sleeps,
But leaps and leaps,
-And leaps all the glad hours through,
IWith never a tire IW
1To rouse your ire,
My automokangaroo!
,She hops,
- She pops.
With a never a nause or wait,
She chugs along*W
Right swift and strong,
With~ her jiggig. poggling gait,
She doesn't bust
The way other motors do,
But lightly trips
An.d vaults and skips
L ~ -Calyle Smith.
4
s.. aim
ecncilaton
w e cocher, on
I'he first rosebuds their leaves un-.
furled,
3 hope and .joy and love together,
Vent singing round the happy
world.
d as she flowered and slow ex-:
panded,
o perfect grace, no charm denied;
Slived as in some world enchanted,
here in all things seem glorified.
Sdid not dream that God had sent:
her,
But as a messenger of His;
teach our hearts to- be more tender,
ro show how holy beauty is. pr
St
when her mission\here was ended,c
A.nd God had called her back to Him, or
.r hearts with agony were rended,n
ur eyes with bitters tears were an
dim. . ca
Ld as with faltering feet we bore j
her, t
ro her last earthly resting place, cu
id saw the sod heaped darkly o'erti
her,ir
Eiding the glory of her face. th
jil
Sturned away with stony faces, mi
Refusing to be comforted; ,is
d is not love, the heart misplaces, mi
Ets trust that thinketh so, we said. in
.t now ashamed of foolish chiding, 30'
Xnd grief as vain as it was wild, isl
God with child like trust confiding, th
Jur will with His is reconciled. ca
r had she lived, our heart's dear, gr
treasure, piu
Vho knows what grief, what pain, pa
what tears,
aat loss no earthly guage can meas- un
ure, po
~iight have been her's in after years. be'
va
w safe from time, the rude despoil-,
er,
ree from all fear, and pain, and e
sir3Tv. -
lere death is not, nor sin can
her,
-Ier soul has wonl immortal lie.
7% feel, thank God, that still she pa
hods, am
Life lasuran
OF GR EENI
Now In Its Fifth !
Over $200,000.00 I
SOUTH Cj
During the Month of
Past Month's Recor
Successful 1
Absolutely C
REASONS .
Fair Treatm
Prompt Sett
If we can't sell a LITTLE BETTER ]
Don't Buy from us. We don't wam
"KEEP YOUR MC
IN SOUTH 4
B. B. Reid, is.
W. H. CALDWELL, Spec
V. B. SEASE, Special Agent,
AGENTS 3
.stonishing records in the rapid
)duction of automobiles are con
.tly being made, but not until re-p
tly has any manufacturer endeav
~to compute the amount of timo3
ssary to the making, finishing
~fitting of the parts of a standard
of the highest quality.
tatisticials employed by Thos. B.
lery & Company, to accurately de
mine the cost of even greater ac
acy, more special tests and addi
nal labor in the production of the
proved 1911 Rambler, have prov-adAL
tin building a car of quality atn
ite amount of labor and time
Lt be expended beyond that which
necessary in an automobile which
.yrun satisfactorily for a time, but
which lasting qualities are lacking.
'e Rambler output is limited to 2,
cars. but the manufacturing, fin-:
Lig and testing of each part is so:
rough that an average of but eight]
~sare produced each working day.
ountless hours are employed in
uding crank shafts, valves, pistons,]
to rings, -cylinders and other
s raquiring absolute accuracy.
rhe engine test alone, to attain
iormity and the maximum horse
wer, lasts several days, the engine A G
ng required to perform labor equi
ent to 1,000 miles of road work.
ven with a factory automatically
ipped, such as the Rambler with'
at nreses which stamap out the f
d :ium. six steam drop forges S e u
ih nae: all fo,rzings, a fo0indr:
:h i ro1uces every castinlg and a
-y deprtment which produces
W. insuoid bodies a day and a sei
a eprten freach separate .
t,Thomas B. .Teffery & Company
still adding maore time to the pro-QU LT
tion of .-ac> 2. t.o attain an even
m. stnard of muality.j
,aste,rn
:,e Company
/ILLE, S. C.
successful Year.
usiness Written in
kROLINA
July, Breaking any
d for the Company.
lanagement
lean Record
ent of Policyholders
lement of Claims
OLICY for a LITTLE LESS MONEY
It any dissatisfied Policy Holders.
NEY AT HOME"
JAROLEINA
Agt., Newberry, S.C.
ial Agent, Prosperity, S. C.
Little Mountain, S. C.
VVANTED.
F COST!
t TEN DAYS!
Refrigerators
Water Coolers
Fammocks
Lawn Swings
Porch Swings
ce Cream Freezers
iT SALE NOW ON!
-Cent Off on All Furniture.
We will save you Money
I. L Bowles Co.
AND STYLE FUIRNITURE HOUSE