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V VOL. XLIX. CAMDEN, 8. C., THURSDAY, JULY 10, 1800. NO. 2. X LOVE UNEXPRESSED. The sweetest notes among the humeri heartstrings Are dull with rr i. The sweetest chords adjusted 67 the angels, Aro clogged with dust. Wo pipe and pipe again for dreary music, Upon the self-same strains, While sounds of crime and fear and desolation Coaio back agaiu in sad refrain. On through the world we go, an army marching. With listening cars. Each longing, sighing for the heavenly music He never hears; Each longing, sighing for a word of comfort. A word of tender praise, A word of love to cheer the endless journey Of earth's hard, busy days. 1 uvj love us ana wo uu'jw u; uua auiuces i For reason's share. 1 Why should they pause to give that love ex- : pression 1 With geatle care? Why should they pause? But still our hearts 1 are aching 1 With all the gnawing pain 1 Of hungry love that longs to hear the music J And longs and longs in vain. s "-"'We love them and we know it, if we falter, ' With fingers numb. Among the unused strings of love's expres- ] sion, The notes are dumb. ^ We shrink within ourselves with voiceless ^ sorrow, Leaving the words unsaid, o 1 c And, side by side with those we love the dearest, In silence on we tread, ' ( 1 Thus on we tread and thus each one in silence i His fate fulfills, j Waiting and hoping for the heavenly music 5 Beyond the distant hills; ] The only difference of the love in heaven t From love on earth below Is, hero we love and know not how to tell ] And there we all shall know. < ?Constance Fenimorc Wcolson. buried" treasure. In 1865 I went to Hong Kong in the interests of a certain English manufacturer, and it was a year and a half later when I one day received a strange visitor and a strange proposition. I was in charge of a large warehouse, and one of my Chinese employes brought in the stranger, and explained: "I told him you would have nothing to do with him, but he insisted on coming." The stranger was a half-breed of some sort, gaunt, ragged, and evidently hard up. As soon a3 we were alono he intro- J duced himself as Semyo, and stated that ' he was from the Island of Luzon, one of 1 the group composing the Philippines. ( He belonged to the native uonulatiou. * but hud Spanish blood in his veins. lie 1 had once been a man of importance, but ' the Spaniards had robbed him of his l power, and afterward feared his influence to such a degree that he had first 1 been imprisoned aud afterward banished, i He had been carried on a native craft to ( Japan, aud then left ragged and peuni- 1 less, and had been more than a year 6 reaching Hong Kong. "While he had only a fevr shillings in his pockets, he had ' neither come to solicit charity nor a a place to work. He had a straight, 1 square business proposition to submit. If I I approved of it, well and good; If I I did not, then he would be no worse off. 1 ? When he realized that Spanish influence I was plowing his downfall, he made such t prep' dons as he could to meet the in- f evi" ic. He was a very wealthy man, 1 n ne quietly went to work and con- i . ted everything he could into money, s gold dust and jewelry. He had got about $90,000 together when the ruling 1 power pounced upon him, but not quick f enough to get it. He had cached or t buried his fortune, and though he was nbusca ana threatened by tue Spaniards ; < for mouths lie would not' betray the secret. j' To get that money by his own individ- j 1 ual efforts was utterly impossible. The ! 1 moment he set foot on Luzon he would j1 be arrested. He must have a partner ; 1 who would furuish a ship and crew, and j1 he would go along to mark down the j spot where the treasure \vos buried. ' i I looked upon the man with pity and ' upon his project with contempt when he ' first began talking. When he was through i5 I had agreed to think it over. There is ! a fascination about buried treasure or a ] sunken wreck that will enlist capital to ' the detriment of honest speculation. I 1 was noted as being a conservative man, 1 and the idea of my going into any such j venture would have been regarded by my i friends as evidence of approaching men- 1 tal calamity. I went to the American j' Consul, and in a roundabout way he con- j ' firmed a part of Scaiyo's story. He had 1 heard of him, and heard of his being deposed and banished. Then I went down to the wharves, and almost the first man t ..e , ? IttU ?w3 CIAO JLUlUVlTw V-.l|Kam IJ1 a brig called "The John,"' which was then having some repairs made. Shehad beta running in the tea trade up and down the Yellow Sea, but now, queer!}* enough, the Captain informed ine that he thought of taking a inn over to the Philippines and try lor a cargo on his own account. The products of the islands are ebenv, logwood, gum wood, bamboo, cocoaauts, all sorts of fruits, i cotton, tobacco, indigo, coffee, etc., and ' many trading vessels are employed in the j traffic. His craft was manu.-.l by a mate and four sailors, and I found all of them 1 to be Americans. When 1 came to ex- j press my surprise at this ho explained : "You see, they are runaways from j American war vessels, mate aud all. I huve picked thc:u up one at a time, and ! as cone of them has a wife back home ; they are content to stay with me. I've ' got a Chinese cook, but outside of him I ! v'ant no truck with foreigners." I outlined my story to Captain j Wheaton, as he introduced himself. He ! heard me through without interruption, j and then quietly said: "Dou't sound so very tuny, hut 1 won't tell you what I think of it until I lmar the heathen go over it himself. When I'm lookiug square at a man I can tell whether he's bamboozling or speaking the solemn truth." I made an appointment, and Semyo retold his stor_v in the presence of Captain Wheatou. When lie had retired the Captain drew down his right eye,slapped his leg and whispered: "Colonel, it's a go! The heathen's talking straighter than a straight-edged board, and it we can come to terms, I'm in with the deal." There was very little higgling over the particulars. It was agreed that Captain Wheaton and myself should bear all the expense of the adventure, and if the treasure was secured each of the three should have au equal share. We gave Semyo money to get himself into decent shape and then looked to the furnishings of the briar. She was already provided with small arms and cutlasses, ' hut we added to the stock, aud thou, at the Captain's suggestion, bought a carronade which had been lying in a warebouse for two or three years. With it ivc got a carriage and ammunition, and i t>y the time the gun was aboaul the brig ivas watered and provisioned and readyto sail. Her clearance papers were for Manilla, in ballast, and the day of our j i .ailing Captain Wheaton brought on ; : joard a short, squatty, bescarred white i nan, who had just been turned out of inil, and who proved to be an English cut-sticks" from II. M. S. The Temp>st. It turned out to be the luckiest hing in the world that we found him, 'or he knew how to manage our carron-, ide and made it keep us out of an ugly j' icrape. I It was only after we were out of sight ! >f the Chinese coast that Semyo gave us |1 lie exact locatiou of his treasure cache. \Yc were to round the Bashec Islands, 1 ying off the north coast of Luzon, and trike the coast at a river called the Batanen, after another island. Four miles ' ip this river, which is navigable for 1 ibout twenty miles, was the cache. We iad a run of 350 miles across the China 5ea to the Bashces, and along this north roast we found several traders. In order :o appear all right in case we were boardid by any Spanish vessel in those waters 1 ivc laid in some cargo here, and took j mr time about sailing to the river. After we had passed the Babuyan Isl- I inds and laid our course to the south, we laught sight one day at noon of a felucca ipproaching us from the east, having rounded the cape. She flew the Spanish lag, aud Scrayo said that she belonged :o the coast service. She had the right 1 ;o board us and examine our papers, and while we had no ferr of her on on; own recount, it was probable that Sernyo would be recognized the moment they set ' ivc on him. We had our plans laid be- 1 "ore she tired a gun as a signal to us to acavc to. Scmyo was hidden in the fore- j leak, and we burned sulphur in the forerastle behind him. By leaving the scut- ' ,'e open the fumes were drawn away from : :he fugitive, and could be scented all j ivf?r the brier. We hove to at the order [1 >f the felucca, and were presently j1 joarded by a Spanish Lieutenant. He j' vas a very pompous chap, and it was 1 irobably his intention to do a great deal 1 >f bossing around, but as lie came over : he rail a current of air carried him the imell of sulphur, and he exclaimed: 1 ' Good gracious, but is your brig on j j ire in the forecastle?" It was explained to him that we had I ost a man of some malignant but uu- J( mown disease, and were fumigating the ' wig. Two or three of us were feeling ! jadly, but hoped to escape the disease jy steaming in the "vapor. "We were a ( rader, and offered to open the hatches 1 md show our papers, but he was in a ' lurry. lie didu't even notice our car ouade, but backed to the rail and defended to his boat, saying: "Oh, you are doubtless all right, and ! hope you will lose no more men. As I 'or me, the services does not demand ] hat I run the risks of epidemic." i Two days later we came to anchor in < lie river nnnnsite a snot nointed out bv ' _ri L? I ? ? Sanyo. The bank of th'j stream was 1 ougk and broken, but thickly wooded. ' Forty rods iulaud was a hif hway running i mallei with the stream, out this was liddeu from us. On the far side of the ugh way was the ruiu of an old church, md in this ruin was the treasure cache. \s many boats were passing up and down, it was prudent that we resort to deception to prevent suspicion. We got down a topgallantmast, slacked away some of the rigging, got a stage over the side for the carpenter and appeared to be lying there for the sole purpose of making repairs. We were soon boarded by natives anxious to furnish cargo, and on the second day a Government gunboat passed us without scemiug to take auy iuterest iu our case. Scrayo had to lie concealed in the hold during daylight, is men were oomiug aboard who knew him well, and it was about mionight on the second night after our arrival that we pulled ashore for the treasure?tint: is, two men pulled Scmyo o!f to the bank ! to see if it was all right, and it did not j 1'ilff him mnnv minutes to make a dis.l- I grcenble discovery. A party of woodcutters had encamped close to the ruin, with every indication of a long stay. Semyo was positive that he could not get at the cache without being discovered, as the party had two or three dogs in camp, and he was sharply challenged as he scouted around. Next day, after some conspiring on our I part, the Captain and I went ashore to the camp to make a bold move. There was a gang of thirty natives under a Spanish boss cutting ebony, and they had a large lot all ready for shipment. This gang had been sent from the province of Zebu, where the owner of the tract resided, and an agent was daily expected to sell the output. The boss, we found to be nu ignorant, good-natured fellow who could neither read nor write. While 1 claimed to be the real owner of the land on which they were then at work, the Captain offered to buy some logs on the sly. Between us we got him to remove his camp a mile away and to accept about $80 for logs. We not only accomplished this during the day, but showed _??. friendship and good will by sending a keg of whisky to the camp, and by night the boss and his^ang were as drunk as lords. As soon as it was dark four of us pulled ashore with Scmyo, and he led us a straight trail to the treasure. It was buried in two earthen jars against a . bit of wall, and one of the camptires of the g:.ng had been built within ten feet of the spot. "We had the jars out and on board the brig in half an hour, and an investigation proved that Semyo bad rather figured under the actual amount. "\Yc had neither seen nor heard anything to alarm us, but it appeared that we had been observed pulling back to the brig by a native boat, aud that its occupants were meddlesome enough to board a Government felucca lying six miles above and report our action as suspicious. 41 4. o ?l. tv,? AUUUL V U IIUL"I\ 111 tilO liiv/i uiu^ uiv felucca dropped down with the tide, came to anchor about two cable lengths away, and sent a boat to board us on the quiet. They were foiled in this by the anchor watch, who stood them off until the brig wa3 aroused. The jars were placed in the cook's galley. Semyo secreted himself in the hold, and then the occupants of the boat were invited to come aboard. The officer in charge was a Lieutcnrnt, and he was in high dudgeon over his reception. He demanded our pr pers, inspected the cargo, and pointed to the carronade as proof that we were suspicious characters. lie went off to report, but was in no hurry to return, and soon after daylight we saw a boat with seven or eight men leave the felucca and pull up the river. The tide was still running and there was a fair breeze, and we determined to cut sticks. Semyo said the boat had gone to callage about four miles above, probably to consult civil or military officials, and that if we were seized it would be all up with ail of us. The felucca, as we could plainly see, had two brass six-nounders. but wc could not say that she would attempt to stop" u*. The minute we begaa to make ready we saw an alarm on her decks. Before we had the anchor off the ground 3he sent a boat with the command that we must wait the return of our papers. We weighed, however, let fall and sheeted home, and while they were yelling at us we headed down the river. We were well out to sea when we espied the felucca following, and as she sailed two feet to our one she was within range before ten o'clock. If captured now the SpUnish Government would hang us all for conspiracy. Wc cracked on everything in the shape ot sail, loaded our carronade and paid no attention to the felucca until positively obliged to. Her gunnery was so poor that we wondered if her guns had ever been fired before. She had at least twenty shots at us, but the closest call was when a ball passed through the flying-jib. She wasn't over a quarter of a mile away when our English gunner sighted his piece and brought down her entire foremast, and everything with it. The mast was hit about six feet above the deck and broken off, and the felucca at once fell off into the trough of the sea and confusion reigned supreme. We kept our course, knowing that she could not follow us another foot, and when clear of the coast, headed up for Shanghai. Arriving there, the brig rtrns rerminted and renamed, her bier pun dropped to the bottom of the harbor, ind no one could have mistrusted her. [ saw the "outrage" detailed in a Manilla paper two or three wcek9 after it oc curred, but if the Spanish Government ever investigated the occurrence, none cf its movements came to my attention. We got ?32,500 apiece out of the little transaction, and the last I knew of Scymo he was a tea trader in Japan.? Xew York Sun. Edison's Ways. Edison is a count, a millionaire, and the most famous living iuventor. His present wealth, which amounts to many millions, is as nothing compared to what it will be in the next few years, but he still works away in his laboratory, and conies forward to meet you in just such i suit of clothes as be wore twenty years ago. As compared with Edison's dingy little shop of twenty years ago, out at Mcnlo Park, in which he used to cat his bread and cheese seated on an old picking-box, talking over the work in hand with hip two or three workmeu, the prcseut surrouudings are fabulously luxurious. Everything shows unbounded meaus, which may be the case when we remember that his famous laboratory costs 6200,000 a year to maintain. But the master mind is still the same. When, he works it means work for his men. In the old days at Menlo Park it was no uncommon thing for him to remain at the beach for forty-eight hours at a stretch, sending one of the hoys for crackers and cheese when he felt hungry, and not giving up until his assistants had actually fallen asleep standing up. To-day he is just as interested.? Pittsburg Dispatch. Galloway-Hide Robes. The hide of a good Galloway steer wil make a iiner robe than a buffalo, it being of a better color. Buffaloes being a thing of the past, the supply of robe3fro:n thai source is limited for all time to the supplj now on hand, but the demand for robes will go 0:1 forever. Why, then, is there not gootl money in raising the longhaired Galloway cattle and making the hides of the steers into robes that arc worth $20 or more each, while the carcass is us fine beef and worth as much as any your butcher ever put on his block. ?Picayune. A Gill's Big Siloes. A Keokuk (Iowa) letter says: "There is on exhibition in this city the pattern of the insole of a pair of shoes made at Knkoku for a girl living at Rainbow, Mo. The gir. for whom these shoes were made is only seventeen years old, and is seven feet seven inches in height and weigh? 235 pounds. She has had many offers to pose in a museum, all of which she lr, rejected. The insole referred to measure I'.fteen and a half inches in length and si> and a half inches in width.'' "SPORTS OF PERSIA. ORIENTAL METHODS OF KILLING TIME. The Koran Forbids Games of Chanco ?Male and Female DancersAthletes Who Eat Six Meals a Day. Excepting this great religidus drama I or passion play, called the Tazieb, the Persians, says S. G. W. Beniamm in the Mail and Exprets\ have no dramatic amusements. They partly make up for this lack by listening to professional story-tellers and strolling musicians; they rre also addicted to card playing, although with much less variety of games than with European cards. Games of chance are forbidden by the Koran; so also are pictures or sculptures of human TIIE STOr.Y-TELLEK. beings; but the facile, pleasure-loving Persians have found means to evade the precepts of the Prophet on these points. A Piruan baud of cards is complete with a set of four, all face cards. Persian cards are all painted by hand on little tablets of papier mache, two inches long and one iuch and a quarter wide. The design is executed in water colors, sometimes on a gold ground, and protected by a glossy coat of thick varnish. Tho back and edges are always black. Some of thesf cards arc very expensive, a pack costing as high as $10 to $45, although, of course, such expensive sets are for the wealthy. But whether for rich or poor, Persian playing cards are made by hand. "When they iirst came into use lit is difficult to ascertain with precision. The chief game played with these cards resembles brag or poker. It is always played for stakes, and the'sums lost or won in the houses of thChobility arc sometimes large. As for the Persian dancers, there is little to be said about them that can lend to an introduction of that form of the cntcitainment into the United States. TVi/iit nrn r\TT.fncc;ririf?lc Virmicrht lin tn thn , 1..VJ ?.?. j" r j business from the cradle. The female | dancers are practically forbidden to exercise their vocation by the present law of Persia, but the law is a dead letter in A STREET DAJCCEIt. 1 one respect. These women are invited | to dance in the harems before women j only, and if they do not dance before I men they arc not molested. Their figures are supple and their movements are not without grace. The mule dancers shave their faces j smooth and the head from the forehead to the nape of the neck, the latter a custom of all Persians; but the side locks I they allow to grow down over the shouli ders to resemble women. They also wear skirls, still further to carry out the ! resemblance. Such is the absurd inconj sistency of the Orientals that they would i be shocked at the impropriety of any j one dancing for pleasure, much less in i company with dancers of the other sex. The Kara Enenz or Black Eyes offers one of the most amusing sources of popu| lar entertainment in Persia. It is an { itinerant puppet show analogous to j Punch and Judy. There is the same I little booth,-the grotesque cions moved by human hands, and the comical conversation in squeaking falsetto. The Kara Enenz is undoubtedly very funny, and gives immense satisfaction to the idlers in a Persian market place. Whenever it appears a crowd collects, listening with rapt attention and greeting the coarse sallies of wit and satire with peals of laughter and earnest expressions of "Barikallah!" and "Bah, bah, bah!" Next to the Tnzieh, the least objectionable and most popular sport in Persia is that of athletic exhibitions. As one strolls about the streets of Teheran, iiie often sees a crowd collected intensely absorbed in some exciting scene. On j approaching and peering through a i chink in this animated mass one finds that they are gazing on a wrestling match. Such is the steadiness of the climete that almost the whole year around such exhibitions occur out of doors under the clear sky. But these are the cheap shows, witnessed chiefly by the lower classes, the performers being altogether second rate. If one would sec the athletes of Persia at their best,he must sec them in the covered arenas where they perform to what in Boston are called "cultured audiences." The professionals of Persia form a class by themselves, as distinct from other pursuits as our actors, as carefully trained, dieted and disciplined as champion oarsmen. The athletes of Greece nnd Rome thought, to maintain their prodigious strefigth by regular,frequent and violent exercises in the gymnasium. THE SALUTE, B'.it the Persian professionals follow quite another course. They avoid severe exertion and fatigue. They eat five or six times a day, and arc warmly clothed, especially during the cold season. On ordinary occasions they go abroad but' once daily and then toward evening, and walk with great deliberation. When tne period for practicing or for exhibiting in public approaches the Persian athlete lies in bed for several days gathering force for the contest of strength. The public exhibitions are held in places especially constructed for the pur-' pose. The aicna or pit is excavated at least five or six feet below the surface, and the earth is beaten hard and rolled smooth. The spectators sit Persian fashion on their knees and heels on tho floor of i gallery built around the arena nnd carefully protected by an awning or roof from the elements. The arena, whether oval or round, has an average circumference of 140 feet. When time is called the athlets run forward and leap from the gallery into the arena, sometimes alightjp^ and bal-ancing themselves some moments on one. leg, "a remarkable leat. Their skin is ! oiled to enable them te elude the grasp of" their opponents. A number enter the I arena at once and begin with prolonged 1 exercises with heavy Indian clubs, which they swing in every position, gradually j increasing the weight, until toward tho i nlnan nf tViic nrnpfino nliiVta r\f nol' orrv j \*L\JB\s VA KUIO |/iUV?IVV VAUWM VA UUU UIVJ Bometimes wielded in each hand weigh-j ing sixty pounds. This club exercisei ' 'v A TEnSTAN* CLUB SWIXGER. continues over two hours; the raovciments are made to the accompaniment of music, and toward the close the strongest athletes stand on one leg and balance ahe clubs at arms' length for several seconds. This species of exercise is of great antiquity in Persia. The athlete who is .able to outlast all the others in the club game is accounted the victor, and receives substantial rewards from the spectators. After this sport is over the wrestle, begin. "When they are ready to grapp' each places his right hand on the head of the other as a salute. They thea .grasp each other with deliberation, pineling one arm over and the other uudct 'the shoulder of the opponent. Then the struggle begins in earnest. With us th? chief object in wrestling is throw one',: Vmtagonist, and on the back, if possible, lit is quite opposite in Persia. There the ivrncflnr rlnnc hie hncf f/\ r?n hie hands and knees, and his opponent tries to prevent him. The victor must meet all new comers until he meets one both stronger and fresher than himself. Cases have occurred of Persian athletes who have successively overcome every ani tagonist who has presented himself atone exhibition of strength, men having been > known to conquer from twenty to twenty, four contestants in one afternoon. Pros! cnts are showered upon each victor, the i one remaining last in the field sometimes receiving hundreds and thousands of dollars from the wealthy and enthusiastic spectators. This sport is highly esteemed in i Persia, and men of rank and physical strength sometimes condescend to enter | the arena and try a bout with the pro. fessional athletes. The latter arc shrewd 1 enough on such occasions to cede the victory to their wealthy antagonists, who, flushed by their success, present costly gifts to their professional antagonist. The Father of the British Fleet. On April 12th SirPro^o William Parry Wnllis, R. N. G. C. B., senior admiral of the British fleet, entered h'.s hundredth year. He may well be called "The Father of the Royal Navy," having actually entered the service before the end of the last century. He was born on April 12, 1791, at Halifax, Nova Scotia, son of Mr. Provo Featherstone Wallis, chief clerk of the Naval Yard there. In 1795, a child of four years, his name was entered on the books of one of the King's ships, and toward the nnrl nf IfiHfi lin inmnrl tVin Plnnnntrn tvifrli SIR PROVO WILLIAM PARRY WALLIS. which ship, in 1804, under the command Df Captain Robert Laurie, he first went :o sea. This ship, a few months later, in the Atlantic Ocean, fought the French frigate Villc de Milan, was defeated and eaptured, but was recovered a week ifterward, by the British frigate Leander. The young midshipman "Wallis became i lieutenant, and served in several other ihips during the French war. In 1813, when Britain was at war with the United States, he was second lieutenant of the frigate Shannon, under Captain Broke, which fought the American frigate Chesapeake oil Boston Harbor. After that famous battle, which was a British rictory, when Captain Broke had been wounded and his first lieutenant killed, ihe command of the ship, with its prize, ievolved on Lieutenant YYaiiis. lie was promoted, and was afterward employed .n different naval services, on the coast >f Mexico, in the Mediterranean, and, in 1857, as admiral and commander-in:hicf on the southeast coast of America. ?Once-a- Week. International Boundary - Lino Monument. The townsite of Blaine as platted :rossc3 the boundary line, a portion of >t lying within British Columbia. This international line is not an indefinite, tangible line as is generally supposed, but is accurately and carefully located. It is possible to lAy a penny?if you have one?so that it will be half in the United States and half in Canada. A number of yeara ago a joint commission surveyed i line westward from the Lake of the Woods and erected an iron monument ft? IJ BOUND A BY LINE MONUMENT, every uiile. Through the forest they cleared a strip twenty ieet wiue, assuuigux as a string, and in the centre of that strip, at intervals of a mile, stand monuments I like the one shown in the illlustration. i On the Canadian side is inscribed "Treaty of Washington," and on the United States side "June 15, 1846," the date of the treaty. Every visitor at Blaine becomes interested in this boundary line running through the town, and especially in marking the course of the cleared strip as far as the eye can see.? Seattle (Wash.) West Shore. And Yet Ho Was Not Happy. City Visitor ? "What makes little Tommy cry so, Mr. Leeks?'' Farmer Leeks?"Wall, the fact is, he went out this morning to find a hornet's nest for his natural history collection, aud " City Visitor?"And the poor boy couldn't find one?" Farmer Leeks?"Naw; the poor boy found one."?Lippincott. 1 think I could go near to be a perfect Christian if 1 wero always a visitor, as I have sometimes been, at tlio house of some hi1-h ion able friend. I can show a great deal of self-denial where the best nf everything is uged upon me with iiudly importunity. HEARD IT BEFORE. Tou tell him a joke you relied on as new; He smiles in a wearisome way. From a comedy new you recite him a bit; He says he saw that at tho play. You give him a story that never yet failed To set all who heard in a roar; Ho nods half approval and turns him away, And murmurs, "I've heard it before. The girl whom you woo in your tender est tone, Whose heart you are seeking to gain, Listens coldly to all you may have to protest, Seeming only to wish you'd refrain. You seek for some phrase not totally trite, And e'en the.thesaurus explore; It's all of no use, and you bid her good-by? You see she has heard it before. How sad it must be to go onward like this, With nothing on earth to enjoy, And never make anyone happy yourself, A.?d only find thincs to annov. His lifo like an orango whose juices are gone, 'Tis a dry, empty shell, and no more. Alas I he is much to be pitied, not blamed? The man who has heard It before. ?Washington Post. PITH ANDPOINT. A standing invitation?Get up. Weather report?A thuDdcr clap. Not a play of words?The pantomime. A hand organ?The glovers' newspaper. Sets the ball a rolling?The batsman wLen he hits a grounder. 4'Can you break a ten for me?" "No, I'm broke myself."?Boston, Courier. Life is far from extinct in the man who appears to bo dead in earnest.? Detroit Free Press. A fruiterer can hardly be called a time-serving fellow when he is out of dates.?Yonkers Gazette. "Johnny, how many seasons are there?" "Three: pepper, salt and do baseball season."?Epoch. "Beckley and his wife get along nicely dow." "So? Which one is dead, hg or she?"?Boston Transcrivt. ' 2 A man was arrested for taking medi* cine the other day. He took it when the apothecary was not looking.?Boston Bulletin. "Oh, every dog has^ts day." Probably that is the reason why so much of our time goes to tho dogs.?TimesDemocrat. Awkward Miss (with an umbrella)? "Beg pardon 1" Polito Gentleman? "Don't mention it. I have another eye left."?New York Weekly. "What was the trouble between you and your beau, Mamie?" "Oh, he was . ? .. altogether too cold." "Isee. And you fired him."?Boston Courier. Restaurant Guest?"Everything yon have brought me is stone cold." Polite "Waiter?"Here is tho mustard and peppep, sab."?New York Weekly. Queer thing, confidence. As long as ^ another man has your confidence you keep it, but the minute you withdraw it you lose it.?lerre Haute Express. "There's nothing half so sweet in life As love's younc dream." So sings tho maid whoso lover treats Her to ice cream. ?Boston Courier. First Man (excitedly)?"Our restaurant is on fire." Second Man (calmly) ?"Come, theD, hurry up, and perhaps at last we may be able to get something hot." Mr. Smith (to neighbor's son who is dining with him)?"\Yell, sonny, what part of the chicken would you like?" Boy?"The whole of it."?Detroit Free Frets. Tangle?"What a pretty little carriage Miss Tiff has!" Mrs. Tangle? "Yc3, that must be the carte blanche she told me her papa had given her."?Munsey's Weekly. A fast young follow, about to marry; speaking of his intended, said to a friend of his: "In short, she has everything in her favor?fortune, wealth and money!" ?Times-Democrat. If, in the heat of a family quarrel, the angry wife makes a move to pick up a flatiron, by no means is this to be taken as implj'ing a willingness to smooth things over.?Detroit Free Press. General Tscbeng-iii-Tongs recently married a young French woman residing in the?south of France. She will be able to use the downtown end of her came to curl her hair with.?New York Uerald. Steersman (during exciting yacht race) | "Man overboard! Shall we stop or I let him drown?" Captain (promptly)? "We must stop and pick him up. It's against the rules to drop any ballast during a race." "I want to know when you're a-goin' to pay this here bill. I can't be a-runnin' here every day in the week." "Which day would suit you best?" "Saturday." "Well, then, you may come every Saturday."?Judge. Indignant Landlord (to tenant of flat)?"I thought you said that all your children were grown up, and here , you've got three noisy babies in the i house?" Tenant?"Yes. These are : my grandchildren."?Munsey* Weekly. I Dentist's Daughter (who hears her | father approaching',?"Un, near Jiuwaru, here comes my father. If ho should find us together, we are lost. Oh, he is com- . ing! You will have either to ask for my hand or?let him pull out a tooth for you."?Half Holiday. Senior Partner (to head clerk)?"You'll excuse mc for mentioning it, but?er? your face is hardly as tidy as I should like to sec it." Head Clerk?"I'm letting my whiskers grow, sir." Senior Partner ? "So I sec; but I can't permit employes to grow their whiskers in business hours. They must do that in their own leisure time!"?Pick Me Up. A giant named Catoni, who was more than seven feet high and proportionately stout, has just died in Italy after having collected two thousand dollars from a museum in Pkome for the right to his skeleton.