The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, February 06, 1890, Image 1
L VOL. XLVIII. CAMDEN, S. C., THURSDAY, FEBRUARY (5, 1890. NO. 32.
Mm THOSE GOOD OLD - FASHIONED
FOLKS.
Somehow the people of to-day ain't as they
3&H used to be,
tf&fKr At any rate, I'm pretty sure they're not the
PjB same to me.
And while they're many just asgoodasth >se
I used to know,
wp There're scores and scores among them that
are only so and so.
We used to always take a man exactly as he
said,
k But now it's safe to take him just the other
I way instead.
B It does my heart just lots of good to meet
once in a while
Some of those good old-fashioned folks so
nearly out of style.
I wouldn't say the world in honesty is slipping
back,
I wouldn't say that Christians hunting grace
have lost the track,
I wouldn't say that men to-day are less the
friends of truth,
D *1 <V?rr. nr.ac T
JCWUttUSC CUV J ?wVLLl CV? viiav* 4.1 VI** v**v vuvj *
knew in youth.
Those statements I refuse to make, but this I
freely say,
Those people please me quite as well as those
I meet to-day.
Their hearts and hands were honest and their
lives held little guile,
Did those old-fashioned people now so nearly
^ ^ out of style.
r We're wiser than they used to be, we m y be
weaker, too,
And good old homespun honesty may less our
hearts imbue.
These later days we all are bent on getting
rich so fast.
We haven't time to think of things they
thought of in the past.
We're wildly striving after gold, we rush and
push and crowd.
And after while we'll each be wanting pockets
in his shroud.
But none of us can e'er outrank within the
afterwhile
Those good old-fashioned people now so
nearly out of style.
?Chicago Herald.
. UP THE " DRAW."
BY THOMAS P. MORGAN.
The gang at old man Sigsby's combined
saloon, postoffice and general store
had waited for the coming of the mailcarrier
ever since the saw mill shutdown
at sunset. The time was passed in cursinsr
the tardy Government official, imbib-!
l. iDg Sigsby's villainous whisky and dis- I
cussing the occupant of the little log and j
slab shanty, half a mile up the heavily- '
timbered "draw."
They looked a "hard crowd," and
! their characters did not in the least belie
their personal appearances. The scum
k and offscourings of many communities
they were, held together by tijeir cause
against the common enemy, the United
States Government. The sawmill, deep :
9 ^ in the wilderftess. turned out great quan- |
^? tifTcg" of lumber from trees cut from Gov- j
ernment land, and its owners, in their I
Eastern homes, knew little and cared less :
of the rough men whose toii increased
their employers' ill-gotten gains.
Old man Sigsby was the worst man in i'
the whole gang, that seemed composed
of the champion profane, shock-headed,
' tangle-bearded and desperate men to be
found in seven States. They growled at :
the generalities of life, cursed each other
and.drank great potations of fiery whisky,
and Sigsby growled the loudest,
cursed them all individually and collectively
and drank oftener than any other
of his customer's.
The matter had been canvassed thor.
__oughly, and the opinion was general that
?' the occupant of the shanty up the
"draw" WH3 none other than a Government
detective.
"Wal," growled big Jim Perdue,
L "I'm yere to say that his story's purty
thin! If he's takin'up a claim as he says
he is, w'yn't he go out on the prair' like
K a witP man stpad n' rnmin' m, voro wlmr
I squatters haiut wanted now, say?"
The question was addressed to no one
in particular, but Sigsby took it upon
himself to reply that he "didn't know
an' didn't keer a cuss!"
"Wal, you needn't be so brash!" re- :
torted Big Jim, witl an oath. "I "
A clatter of hoofs interrupted him.
The door was flung open and the tardy
.mail carrier threw the wrinkled pouch
into the room.
Then Sigsby distributed the mail.
This was done bv opening the pouch,
pouring its contenis in a heap on the
floor and, with several forcible epithets,
telling the company to "drive in." There
were few letters, but a bundle of news- i
papers provided nearly every one with
something to read.
When each had got his own and the
wrangling had ceased, one letter remained.
It was addressed to the occu.
pant of the cabin up the "draw."
"Wal," remarked Sigsby, "that cuss
gits entirely too many letters for a squatter.
One every week or oftener. An'
uv all dad-blamed directin' this beats
any I ever seed!"
The address was printed in straggling,
irregular characters and with shocking
disregard for capitalization. Several
examined the nide characters and all
were of the opinion .that t'nev were
traced in that manner to disguise the
writer's chirography.
"Le's open it!" cried Perdue.
"Not much!" objected old man Sigsby.
"Nobody opens any letters in this
yere postoffice but me! Understand?"
The postmaster mentally resolved that
while the gang might do as they liked
outside of the office, he wr.3 not going to
allow them to commit any act within the
office that would incur the wrath of the
I I Government.
Perdue rose, cleared his throat and began:
"We all know that this cuss is "
"You bet!" interrupted several voices.
"Yes, wal, we know what happened
to the last feller that come a spyin'
'round whur he had uo call to be."
"We have a idee!" said a voice.
"Wal, shall he have the same?" was
Big Jim's pertinent question. Without
a moment's hesitation came the almost
unanimous verdict that he should have
the '.'same." There was a prolonged
wrangle as to ways and means, much
drinking at old man Sigsbv's bar, and
then the gang departed for the great
boarding shanty, to prepare for the
night's work, up the "draw."
"After they had gone Sigsby tightened
his revolver belt. Then lie looked
at the queerly addressed letter and muttered
i
"Wonder why the cuss don't come to
git his letter. Never missed bein' on
time before. B'lievc I'll jest sorter take
it up to hin^ Might be handy forme to
git the lay uv things in the shanty. Git
the edge on the boys by knowiu' whar
the valuables is."
He extinguished the light and locked
the door with the utmost caution.
"Jest as well fer me, I reckon," he
muttered, "if these boys think I'm sick
and gone to bed or sumpin'. If anything
was to happen?cuss was to plug
I one or two uv 'em, they mought 'low I'd
! sorter warned him if they knowed I'd
[ be'n thar."
He reflected grimly that in such an
event he was very liable to receive the
^fl\of woo mcforl
5ULJ1L" suit Ui llCtllUl^Ul/ LUUV MU.3 utvivu
out to the last man suspected of spying.
Loud words, plentifully interlarded
with oaths, reached his ears as he passed
the big boarding shanty, keeping well in
the shadow of the trees. His progress
over the "rise" and up the "draw"' was
almost noiseless, and rapid in spite of
the dense darkness beneath the great
trees.
Presently Sigsby knocked at the door
of the log and slab shanty. As there
came no reply, he knocked agaiu and
fancied he heard a faint response.
"Some trap to ketch me, like as not,"
he muttered, suspiciously, "but I'll
risk it."
His revolver was ready for instant
action as he raised the latch and entered
the room which was wrapped in darkness.
"Hello, thar!" Sigsby saluted cautiously.
4 'Don't be quick with no guns.
Letter for you."
A faint moan replied from somewhere
in the darkness. Sigsbv's suspicion of a
trap was strengthened, and he meditated
whether it was better to tire his revolver
in the direction of the sound or to run
the risk of having the trap sprung on
him. The moan was repeated.
"What's the matter, pardner?" he
asked, moving silently to one side as he
did so.
"Wall, I'll resk it !" he muttered, as
another moan answered him.
He scratched a match and held his
half closed hand in such a way that a
single ray of light was _ flashed in the
directiou from which the moan had
sounded. The moment's light revealed
a face aglow with fever, lit with eyes
bright with delirium's glare.
There was no need for caution now,
and S'gsby speedily had a light burning.
He examined the sick man more closely.
"Port' bad off,"he muttered. "Hain't
eaten fer days, like as not. It's tough,
shore!"
"Wall," lie added, presently, "one is
'bout as shore as the other. If the boys
don't down him, the fever will. 3Iountain
fever's first cousin to the graveyard."
The sufferer moaned and tossed feebly
in his delirium, and, when Sigsbyheld a
tiu of water to his lips, he drank with
almost frenzied eagerness.
"Dryer'n a bone!" remarked Sigsby.
"Wal, the boys '11 soon case his misery, I
reckon. Fore cuss! He's in a hard row
o' stumps, but now he's come out here to
hunt the boys; he ortn't to kick if they
hunt him."
The sufferer rolled his head slowly from
side to side aud moaned.
' Do your groaniu' now." remarked the
visitor grimly, "fer the boys'll deprive
you uv that privilege soon. Thar'll be
detective on tree for breakfast, I reckon.
Wal, I must be a-gettin'. Don't seem to
be nuth'n' worth packin'off. By George!
I mighty nigh f ergot his letter! I'll jest
see what orders his bosses has sent him.
Mought do me some good and they never
will him."
He opened the oddly addressed envelope,
and slowly spelled out the epistle
it contained. When it was done, he
spelled it clear through a second time*
"Wall, I'm blabbergasted!" he ejaculated,
as he laid the letter face upward
on the table. It was a short message and
was printed in the same eccentric fashion
as the address.
I .TTT-1 f Ll-t.l ID -1-1
"ivai, i m omuuergasieu: oiu man
Sigsby repeated. ''Plumb blabbergasted!
Some how, that 'minds me uv "
lie paused.
Presently, he said, slowly:
"PrayS for him every night an'
mornin'. Name's Bessie. Minds me uv
?never mind!" He shook himself
fiercely.
"Deserves all he gits," he said,
hoarsely. "Didn't he come yere to hunt
the boys? Yer bet yer life he did!"
He answered himself with fierce
energy, shaking 4iis fist at the moaning
figure on the bed. Then he turned to
lea^e the shanty, but paused, with his
hand on the rude latch.
"Prays fer him every night an' mornin',"
he muttered. "Somebody ort to
write an' tell her when he's downed.
I "
He took a step toward the letter that
lay face upward on the tible. The
quaint characters seemed staring him in
the face.
"Prays fer him," he muttered slowly.
"Name's Bessie! 'Minds me. no?I'll?
I'll do it! Doit er drop a-trying!" he
cried with fierce energy.
The sick man moaned again.
ilHer dad?Bessie's dad!" old man
Sigsby muttered, and laid his cocked
revolver on the table beside the letter.
Then he took down the sick man's
repeating rifle from the wall and placed
it near the other weapon.
"Like's not I'll groan like him purt'
soon," he said, with a nod toward the
bed. "The boys mean business!"
"They mean business!" he repeated
presently. "So do I!"
"There was a noise outside and a
knock at the door.
"Come!" cried Sigsby.
The repeating rifle in his hands and
the revolver beside the letter were both
cocked and ready for instant use. As
they threw open the door and ushered in,
Big Jim Perdue aud the rest of the
"boys" found themselves looking into
the muzzle of a repeating rifle held by a
stern-faced man who stood behind fhe
table.
"Up with ycr hands!" cried Big Jim
sternly, as he burst across the threshold.
There were exclamations of surprise :is
the gang recognized the holder of the
aific.
"What d'ye mean, Sigsby? What aro
you doin' ycre?" demanded Big Jim.
"Nuthin'," returned old man Sigsby,
doggedly.
"Whur's the cuss?"
"Thar!" answered Sigsby, moving to
one side that the light might fall on the
sick man. "Thar, an' thar he's goin'to
stay!"
"Mountain fever!" some one said, at
sight of the delirium-flushed face.
Big Jim and the gang glared at old
man Sigsby and the rifle muzzle that
stared them in the face.
"What does all this mean?" Big Jim
demanded with an oath.
"Nuthin'!" the old man replied.
"Yere's his orders from headquarters, an'
I'm a-carryin' them out!"
He flipped the letter toward the group
and Big Jim picked it up. When the
big man had silently spelled out its contents,
he handed it to the next man.
From one to another it passed till all
had read Bessie's letter.
No one made auy remark, but there
was a dimness before the eyes of several
that made the muzzle of old man Sigsby's
repeating rifle looking less formidable.
"Wal?" questioned Sigsby.
"Wal," Big Jim returned in an accentless
voice.
"Prays fer him every day," the old
man said, as if addressing himself.
"An' 'taint no good prayin' fer dead
men," Jim returned, in the same accentless
voice. "Hunting us! Wall,mountain
fever'll do the work if "
"Bill," he said, suddenly, interrupting
himself, "didn't you 'low you seed a fel
ler sneakin' round tne storenouse as we
come by?"
"Bill" repued promptly that he had
"'lowed" so, ond several eager voices
chimed in with the information that it
was dangerous to allow the "feller" in
question to continue to "sneak."
"I reckon that thar's the detective,"
<Big Jim hazarded.
There was a unanimous expression of
belief that such was the case. Then, led
by Big Jim, the gang filed out into the
darkness.
"Ole man," said Big Jim, slowly, as
he turned to go, "if you need any help
'teudin' to any sick men anywhere around
yere, send ferme."
"An' me!" cried several voices.
"An' if he gits well, tell him a story
'bout a little gal's letter that* saved a
feller's life. If you do, mebby his sickness'll
sorto make him fergit all about
what's happened in this section an' that
anybody on Gov'ment land "
"I've heerd uv sech cases," answered
old man Sigsby.
"When they had gone, Sigsby stood for
many minutes staring at the letter before
him.
"Der papa," it read, "mama and me
has been looking for a letter from you
iui aniui uiauj uajo. u t nit xiaiu jvui
sick an we want to see you awful much.
Ole Bose is dead. I pray for you night
an mornin. A hundred kisse3 from
"Bessie."
"Name's Bessie," old man Sigsby muttered.
'Minds me uv?"
His voice died away, and, for a long
time, he seemed wrapped in thought.
Only the faint moan of the sick man
broke the silence at the shanty up the
"draw."
A month later little Bessie's heart was
gladdened by the coming of the papa
for whom she had prayed night and
morning.
No report of illegal timber cutting in
the region round about the cabin up the
"draw" reached headquarters. Perhaps
his severe illness had impaired the detective's
memory.?Nexo York Mercury.
Goose Grease for Membranous Cronp.
Old-fashioned remedies. are still the
hobby with many Connecticut people,
and they often cure where modern
therapeutics fail. Last week, in Bridgeport,
a two-year old child was stricken
with membranous croup. A physician
was hastily summoned, and he prescribed.
The child grew rapidly worse, and the
attending physician called in two of his
brethren to consult with him. The three
decided that death would soon result
unless the operation of tracheotomy was
resorted to. This the parents positively
refused to allow, and the physicians departed,
saying the child would die before
morning. After they had retired several
women called, and, with the usual
feminine desire to do all they could to
help the afflicted parents, asked permission
to try their remedies. It was
granted, as the parents thought it would
do no harm, as the child would die in a
few hours anyway. The patient was
thoroughly wrapped up in flannels, and
his head and throat were rubbed with
goose grease. A dose of the stuff, mixed
with vinegar, was with difficulty forced
down the child's throat. In a short time
lie vomited up a large portion of mucus
and broke up the clogging matter in the
throat. Being placed in bed he soon
went to sleep, and the next day he was
nlorinrr oKniif flin linnen onrl nnnno rdrl
uuvuo buw auu i l
to be far from (lying.?New York Sun.
The Lads of Lisbon.
The lads of Lisbon, the Portuguese
capital,are a curious feature of her motley
population. They seein to have consecrated
the bloom of their youth to the
sale of lottery tickets for the benefit of
the church, "and may be seen everywhere
hawking halves and quarters of tickets,
shouting, "To-day the wheel goes round."
When not engaged in this pursuit these
young hopefuls take to selling crickets,
which are confined in small wicker cages
three inches square. The crickets are
caught and sold for sporting purposes.
Cricket fights are as popular and arouse
as keen passions as cock fights in Spain.
Mail and Express.
EARRINGS.
CURIOUS ADDITIONS TO THE
LOBE OP THE EAR.
Barbaric Devices of Torture and Antique
Examples of Beau ty?String,
Trough and Button?Odd
Earrings in AH Agt~.
The strange fashion ojsLiutilating and
adorning the human ear 'hast been practiced
for all ages, and has been in vogue
all over the world. It has especially enjoyed
great favor among the Orientals,
and by Persians, Babylonians, Lydians,
Lybians and Carthaginians the earring
was worn as commonly by men as by women.
Figure I, taken from Thomas
Hope's "Costumeof the Ancients," shows
how the monnrrhs of Phrvpia adorned
themselves, unci there are numerous evidences
in gems, etc., to bear out the assertion
concerning the vanity of the antique
male. In the "Iliad" Juno is represented
ilS adorning himself with earrings
made with three drops representing
mulberries, aud most o6> the jewels so
worn at that, time seenr to have come
under the head of what jpome old-fashioned
people still call "eardrops." From
this period down to the latest the practice
prevailed in Greece, and one finds
the ears of the Venus d' Medici to be
pierced for the reception of earrings.
Pliny says there was no part of dress on
which greater expense. was lavished
among the Romans, and Seueca mentions
an earring of which a drawing, the lower
right-hand specimen, copied in Fig. 2
is taken from Smith's Dictionary,.
'
%
FIG. 1. A l'UHTGIAJT KLVO. .
which he says was worth a patrimony
It has four pearls, two above
and two below the,precious stone in the
center. In the more valuable of the
antique earrings pearls were almost always
used; and they wetp'-valuedfor the
completeness of their fdjnn^^w well as
for their whiteness. In place oNa ring
the ornament was often nttac&cd ?^the
car with a hook, a custom which still
prevails in Italy. Many Egyptian earrings
of very beautiful design have been
preserved, or which cue one 10 tne leu
iu Fig. 2 is !in example.
These antique designs have been frequently
imitated in modern times, a?id if
the use of this ornament is to be continued
it can scarcely assume a more
graceful form than was often given to it
by the ancients. The smallest earring
in Fig. 2 is a sketch of one of a pair
copied from the 'Masterpieces of the
... v .
FIC. 2. FHOM THE ANTIQUE. ..
Centennial Exhibition," where it was
shown among the Castellnni antiques.
The original is about two inches long,
the pair representing the dolphins,
which were emblematic of Venus. The
eyes, Jins and other details of the figure
are executed in the professional materiala-of
the jeweler's art, instead of byfcngraving
or molding, that is to-sny, they
are sketched upon the smooth surface by
lines of rope-work applied and soldered
on. The minute gold" cords of which
this rope-work consists, so delicate yet
so even, and so firmly soldered as to become
homogeneous with the body of the
object, constitute the grand technical
superiority of antique jewelry. The date
?r\
KKi. 3. A LITTLE OEEEK TEIFLE.
of this object i? assigned at 350 B. 0.,
the place of its discovery being Tarsntum/
in Calabria. ;
The earring seen in Fig. 3 is also tfl
the nature of a votive offering to Venus,
A|. 1. * 1 ! il i. .. f i.ntA T*
IIIC Ul'Sigli UL'lllg tUttb ?Ji uwu uuvw. ?L
is sketched from ouc of the illustrations
in the Gazette des Beaux-Arte,the original
having been discovered in Etruria and
dating probably to the fifth century. It
is of gold and enamel, the national colors
of the plumage being most faithfully reproduced.
That the earring wns used in Britain
during the Bronze Period has been
proved by I)r. John Evans in his "Ancient
Bronze Implements." In a barrow
at G'owlam, in Yorkshire, touching
the temporal bones, he says, which were
stained green by the contract, were
two earrings of bronze. They were
made by beating one end of a piece of
bronze flat and forming the other
into a pen-shaped termination. Tfee
pen had been jpassed _ through
j tno lobe of the, ear and then bent
round, the other and flab end being
bent over it. Thus the earring must have
been permanently fixed in the ear. This
scoop or basket form of the ancient
Briton's earring was sometimes carried to
a ludicrous size, as witness that represented
in Fig. 1. This was taken out of
a stone cist at Orton, in Morayshire, Scotland.
In this case, however, the earring,
or rather the ear-trough, was of gold,
and might haves been worn by some unsubdued
Celt who caused the Roman
many an unhappy quarter of an hour in
his home. Earrings of silver have also
been found in the British barrows or
burial mounds, out both in England and
on the Continent, after the commencement
of the tenth century, the fashion
appears to have declined and earrings are
neither found in graves nor discernible in
paintings or sculpture. M. Viollet Cedric
observes that the style of head-dress and
wearing the hair may in some measure account
for this. In the thirteenth century,
however, the fashion evidently revived,
mention being made of earrings in the
noman ue la nose, out mere is no
graphic description of their form, and
neither monument nor miniature is found
to assist us. In the sixteenth century
earrings were in high favor eircept
among the purists, who denounced
the "women who were not ashamed to
make holes in their ears whereat they
hang rings and other jewels of gold
FIG. 4t. ONCE WORN BY A BRAWNY SCOT.
and precious stones." Elizabeth revived
the antique love for pearls and wore
"rich drops," two large ones with a third
depending from them being seen in her
portrait by Zucchero. Continual mention
of them is made by writers in the
seventeenth century, at which period they
were given as love tokens. They were
also worn by men at the same period all
over Europe. George Villiers, Duke of
Buckingham, wore diamond earrings, and
all courtiers wore cither gold, stones or
pearls in their ears. Men are not seen
wearing them alter the restoration of
Charles II, but there was a singular fash
iou erlstiug at the same time on the continent
which found its way to England
about the time of James I, viz., the wearing
of two or three strings of black silk.
The noble red man who once ranged
through the forest primeval was not content
witir-ajsimple pair of earrings, but
tied his cars upsiQ_thongs of stained skin.
At least that is w-hat~"6kj.Qrgc Catlin says
in his "North American Indians," from
which the sketch seen in Fig. 5 has
been taken. This species ol fantastic ear
decoration is, however, simplicity itself
compared to that practiced by certain un
FIG. 5. THE NOBLE RED MAN'S IDEA.,
civilized nations in other parts of the.
world. Take, for instance, the Kaffir,
whose cars are pierced at a very early age.
and the hole continuously enlarged until
it is capacious enough to hold a snuff
box, an ivory knob or a lion's tusk.
But the boss people of the world for
slashing and distorting the ear are the,
Dyaks of Borneo. The lobes arc pierced
when the child is only six months old,
and from that day the hole is forcibly in-,
creased in size till it forms a loop from
onetp-ftrcr inches, or even more, long.]
-Afm-st wooden pegs are placed in the
hole; these are afterward replaced by a
.couple of tin or brass rings", while if the,
Dyak belle cannot afford such luxuries
KJG. 6. A ])YAK BELLE.
ghe will rake a leaf and roll it up and insert
it in her car. Gradually the weight
is increased by the addition of other
larger rings, till the lobe often gives way
and splits. Carl Bock, in his book on
' The Head Hunters of Borneo," asserts
that he has counted as ninny as sixteen
rings in a single ear, each of them the
size of n dollar. The rings arc generally
made of tin, and cut so that they can be
removed at pleasure. Sometimes disks
wAnfl mnnlnrf im tn nn inrh
"4 "vv^ & ?4' ? --and
a half in diameter are used. In addition
to this mutilation of the lobe, tho
helix of the car is pierced or slit in
several places, and in these holes pieees
of colored ribbon or cord are tied, or j
buttons or feathers inserted. In Fig. 6 i
there is given a sketch made from one of
the illustrations in Bock's book. It represents
the head of a I)yak belle, tho
measurements of the ear being as follows:
Tolal length of the ear 7.1 inches,
length of the gash in the lobe 4.75
inches, distance between the level of the
chin and bottom of the ear 2.85 inches.
? San Francisco Chronicle.
The only Territorial delegate in Congress
who was born in his own Territory
is Antonio Joseph, of New Mexico.
X
A Legislator in a Blouse.
When an American workingman is
elected to a representative office of any
sort he usually puts on the best clothes
that he has upon going to occupy his
place, the idea being, undoubtedly, that
such a proceeding is a proper manifestation
of respect for the constituency that
has honored him, and of appreciation for
the dignity conferred upon him. Across
the water a different course has been
pursued in at least one instance, at^l M.
Thivrier, a workingman elected as such
to the present Chamber of Deputies in
France, wears all the time in public the
blouse which is the badge of a laborer in
that country.
M. TIIIVRIER.
M. Thivrier began work in the coal
mines at Coinmentoy, France, when
twelve years old, and for twenty years,
remained in them, handling the pick.
Afterward he became a vine grower and
dealer in wines. He is a Socialist, but
not a Communist, "for, having," as a
French paper puts it, "acquired his capital
by his own hard work, he cannot
easily understand how that capital should'
Deiong to an rne worm." i nrougn au
his career he has stuck to his working-;
man's blouse, and it was largely upon/
the strength of that peculiarity that he
was elected a'Deputy. He is said to be
a man of unusual intelligence and a good
speaker. When he came to Paris to take
his seat, his blouse, which hp wore not
only at the Chamber, but at receptions
and all other functions that he attended,
made him at once famous. .
The garment, it will be seen, is similar
to the outside shirts worn by Chinamen
in this country, and would doubtless bring
the Deputy ridicule rather than honor or
popularity if worn here.?New York Sun.
>
TO Exchange His Position.
A young man accustomed to lighthouse
work, would exchange his present
positidn-for a life-preserver.?Life.
Striking Up an Acquaintance.
Young Black Bear (to young polar
bear?a recent arrival)?"Say, ho.v did
it happen that you turned gray so young?"
?liar per s Young People.
The biggest edible oysters in the world
arc found at Port Lincoln, in South Aus
tralia. They are as large as a dinner
plate, and the same shape. They are
sometimes more than a foot across the
shell, and the oyster fits his shell so well
lie does not leave much margin. It is a
new sensation, when a friend asks you to
lunch at Adelaide, to have one oyster set
before you fried in butter or egg and
bread crumbs.
The Chinese Minister at Washington is
said to have concluded to permit his
wife to conform with the social usuages
of that city, and she witl hereafter receive
and return visits.
Mr. Gladstone is writing an important
article on Mr. Motley and his work as an
historian, which will contain very interesting
personal reminiscences.
GROWING OLD.
I'm growing old, they tell m?f
They say Tin getting gray,
And that my face has not the graco
It had once on a day.
And in my gait I show it
That I am growing oldHurrah
! I wouldn't know it .
If I was never told.
I'm growing old, they're sayingHurrah
! They do not know
A cheerful mind is not the kind
To any older grow.
The world's as bright as ever,
I'm happier each day,
And I'll feel young forever,
No matter what they say;
Hurrah, for growing older,
And better all the while, 1
No look ahead to when I'm dead
Will take away my smile,
That bravely will be showing
And lighting up my face?
They think I'm older growing,
Hurrah! It's not the case.
?H. C. Dodge, in Detroit Free Press.'1
PITH AND POINT.
fRl 4-n n?A stnni- iirv Tvtr
me suuui a wuuiuih aic u^> uj wu
sea.
Rights and lefts?The "ins" and the:
"outs."
Spoiled children make bad men and'
women. v _
? martial strain is that which is put on
the drum-major's spina.
The best site for the "World's Fair is
undoubtedly the mirror.
Come women like a whispered tale of
love, but a belle prefers a declaration
made in ringing tones.?Baltimore American.
The old railroad contractor should be
in a good physical condition, for he istraining
all his life.?Kearney Enterprite.
The Indians are the largest land owners
in the country, but they have raised more
hair than potatoes, thus far.?Minneapolit
Journal.
A Morsel for the Dog.?Tramp?"I'm
nothin' but a bundle o'bones." Hired
Girl?"Here, Tige, go bury him. "-Muntcy's
Weekly.
"I think your wife wants change."
"Change? Doctor, you don't know that
it J- ? 1
woman. unange wui never uo ror ucr.
She needs a fortune."
"Ma, the minister is coming." "What
makes you think so? Di "you see him?" - v~
"No, but J take vae^jarrot and *
lock it up in the stable." '* - ; ^
Nations are like individuals, says an
orator. Not much. You never hear an
individual complaining about the size of
his surplus.?Boston Courier.
Lawyer?"Your opponent will have to
pay the amount, but you will have to
stand the costs." Client?"Will you
please tell me, have I won or lost.'*
Lancaster?"I hear that you have been
burning the midnight oil. What study
interests you so much?" Forrester?
"How to get the baby to sleep."?Time. ?
Although they went to school together,
And grew up children side by side,
He never dreamed how much ha loved her
Until her wealthy uncle died.
?Harper's Bazar.
How hard some men will struggle to
build a little reputation, and will at once
give up the the ghost when it comes to
building a kitchen fire.?Kearney Entcrprue.
/
Lioness?"I've been chasing a missionary
for about s'teen miles! Did you
see where he went, me lord?" Leo?
"Yes, my dear; he just stepped inside."
Puck.
"What does a man know aDOut a
woman's dress, anyway?" scornfully
asked Mrs. B. "He knows where the
pocket isn't," was Mr. B.'s reply.?
Louisville Journal.
Stern Parent?"Look here, I have just
been told that you received a thrashing
in school last week. I didn't know it at
the time." Jimmy?"I did, pa."-^1
Lawence American.
She?"Sir, what do you mean by/putting
your aim around my waist?" JHe?
"Do you object?" She?"Mr. Arthur
Gordon,- I'll give you "-just five hours to
remove your arm."?BoUonBegcon.
Some one was saying before Jote that
the best method of restoring those who had
been frozen was to roll them in the snow.
"That may do well enough in wintertime,
but what yer goin' to do in summer,
when there ain't no snow?" commented
that cheerful idiot.?Judge.
Don't waste the gas, the high-priced gas, .
Now nights grow long and drear;
When comes to pass, each precious lass
Expects her sweetheart dear. >
'Twould be quite right to quench the light
When dudes, as green as grass,
Make their tongues run on what the've done,
They'll furnish all the gas.
?Judge.
A number of children were making a
good deal of noise, and their mother,
after rebuking them several times, at
last said: "If I have to speak again, I
;_t. ???? ir/M, ? Af fhia tfiA
snail pULiiSLi auuic Kjk jvu. aav vmv
youngest child rolled of! the sofa, and,
after gravely reflecting awhile, said:
"Then mamma, I'd advise you not to
speak." She didn't.
How Cariosity is Gratified in Rnssia.
The ex-editor of the Chicago Netcs,
who has just returned from Europe, relates
this mcident, which he witnessed in
St. Petersburg: "One day I saw a carriage
containing a gendarme and another
person. I asked our guide who it was,
and he said it was a political prisoner. I
asked him what would become of him.
'Oh, he'll never be heard of again. "We
don't, have anv bother about juries and
trials. The papers won't take up the
matter and his friends won't attempt to
do anything for him.' 'But if he were
your brother wouldn't you try to do
something for him?' I asked. 'No, sir.
If I went to the officers and said I wanted
to know what they were going to do
with him, they would say: 'Come right
in. You can have the cell next to his
and go with him to Siberia to see what
becomes of him.,'J>