The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, September 11, 1873, Image 1
J ' i. i i i ' ". - S
VOL. XXXIII. * CAI^OiRN, S. C., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 1873. NO. ?.
' itttimmiLr<
" 3KEAHT 3
INDEPENDENT FA1ILT_PAPER
PUBLISHED BY
JOHN KERDHAW,
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
Oue year.
Six months 1 OD
Three months 76
ftjf Transient Advertisements must belaid
r imsoaif
From the ll?* Yori^fn^un?,* Au/u?t 9.
ot polities and wader of pontical discussions
poiag
on foi rcvfph^kn pqaknpon the probabliicies
of President Qranl a being nominated
1 for a third term, and in connection therewith
what has oome to "be called, in the slung
, that gains such easy curreucy in polities,
"Cpmrism," must bo infiuately amusing.
8t?fibd, *? are haliioeUned to tiunk, by
some out* who stttkk upon it in the dearth
of topics from idieer lack tif a a.bjeet of in*"Vjtfwt,
oY: perhaps by sotfrf JSu^erservieeable
supporter of the administrate >n who h?d
? knew eye for the maiftciwuco. and was determined
to be first in the field, the jungle
over and aboutlit has spread until - half the
- * - '??_ i_j . L..J
newspapers id me country nare nau a uan?
* ... in it The question# just now seems to be
>a?bo begun it. On the one band it is charged
that the rf AWsrtmseiatwitioa
broached it thus early with awfeeadieae purptee
of fatalHsrising the people with the
idaa and gradually feW **y. *>'
C?rum; on the other hand, the admtnistra
lien eegaaewhiah hnwj sauna enoagh la tie the
eiset of it, say thawhilebnaialm isn conspiracy
of the opposition-to deire the repuband
ridicule as. and weald endanger the1
*** *****n?
has been the tagatnpw wi^'whieh each side
U"J du eahar with startnuLMr vnpjena,
mo* obwmre and unlnllheotial. of the adminwith
it? Um m^onty We denouncod it ai
yoely
iafriffoliroSl^ reoominatioQ of
* ?*?>"*f ><>iWmit *;
another taj? tbe plot is to farce Grant's re
?? that the
renomiriM end reseriiflcate
o^copftdajtco in bioi;
and still another mrj "the partj will nominate
and elect him if it pleases" ami "ask no
iilil*efwii/Wy.
Sotae truth andtooio nonsense in all this.
General Grant may or may not be a dull, coldL
of other people for him. Ho is pretty much
fte??me i?whenhc'waa Hocud ksf year,
with (he fame Tore of ease >**4 fapoee, the
nm$ distaste ^or public business and the same
mdilfs^to' accept what-mee^ rife do^t i
Kffk^ a SJffindi^iVlhySuch
or not hi^aMli?a^^lipar?iin)Hat and his
methods of adtnhtfctiHexmb evil influence
and example and dpfeulsttd to establish unwholesome
and dangerous habits of political
thought and conduct is q?ito another question
which need net note in dismissed But
the fear, afthercbeanj.of hiapevaena) ambition
EMIng IfUn' tbatttuiUPJClh role of Caesar
is, w# beliete, jpxwsdlenflodeed, it Is well
W> reaper that the danger to free
gorecMMat is notJikaljr. #e> arise from the
sbyjrtIi
it by no meant certain that Prudent
to\udorUk?.to
fwiBrt to remote pn event. One
baa only to recall the aduntfdg Ganges in the
atawdiaf-nf pvofMaaat-poMtteiam daring the
laat nine months to he convinced of the uncertainty
of political reputations and the futility
of conjecture aa to the probabilities of
awieatiaai and ?ipaigne three years away.
down asd bring out naw and startling couibi aHam,
Had the developenont of the list
teftaiaa ef fbt last (Ingres been brought to
t i?'
Wkt ebia^i, perhaps equally unexpected
J*nd strange, die neat three years hare in !
*??fOT nMiAmwtbH ?p* Ifw<r
pigfc jnlge from present indications, we
should say not only that President 0rant's
MttMd*k Mtol aj k?? ?ti?
it is net entirely out of the ranee of nossibili
tie* that it will'be the beet nomination prac-1
ticable for the party, and perhaps for the
coaatry. ' He was nominated lan year not
tha campaign ran, o^aoaooat of hi* great aereWas
in the war, for which he had not been
folJj paid. It waiJ&BpIjr because no ono of
tba a>pfra|fa for the soceceaaton felt strong
eaepM then knaka a fight for it, and they
prefotaed to gfr# Qrant four yeara more, in
?rtM^ time nacti typed to strengthen himself
u&cienily to go into the pent convention
with a bapofqf hanking. There has been
MVHthing a?% tnUhtx apaoag statesmen
since then. The l?t of aspirants has been
eoinaah* thinned hv Credit Mobil ior expofttlfB
|*d back-pay follies. The conditions
now are preHy nraeh tbe same as those
which last pMifoittd IhiHdhfcotn ination at
Philadelphia, bat an 01* knowa how long
they Ailieoatiuue. Mnaatiaw itia to be observed
thai, while there is* great show of
girtas o*ac the back-pay basiaeas iu iudig
uant resolution* ofwfttate conventions nd
pdktj or frm* bjijll
sides, tfrere is a marked tenderness toward
the President, who is the chief sinner in the
nuttntv 'Nnowe dedbunccs him by rfesoluOnr
peri) is not, we rep^t, from any one
man's amhitiort? tt cotnes rather frmrflhe
disposition to enthrone the caucu^ind dike
the party supreme. That done an J the parnot,
pethsp<& tfjwsarism, bat something infinitely
worse.
>..!>/ vi, ??h* .
The America* Ki*o.?The wealth and
power of Mr. Pornellns Vanderhjlt is assuming
appalling proportions. Tlii groat
consolidated railway line from the West to
thwNorthern seaboard, which controls, is
represented on the New York stock Exchange
by sureties, equal to $215, OtiMOO,
and its gros* income last year was nit ltss
than $45,000,000?more than the wljple in
come of the United States Jtoveaamenta lew
jews ?go. I# edbhneatilBupoQ thy fact
Harper's Weekly remarks JT*? * ,u*h4?
It is impossible to oon^btajdate tlyf vast
aggregation of money powerCboifc&mrcial
control iu.the hand* of on* wan withoui feciiug
concern for the result. Neither miliary
nor political^ nor commercial supremacy, can
V> pushed beyond certain limits withonwdanger.
It .weald see in m though the linut in
this case had been reached. Yet not intent
with the majesty of 2150 miles1 of huilwav,
involving, in a large degree, the eontrol
of tha internal trade of tho Statet of
annual oldctioaif^he Western Union ^ele*.
gxygh Company^ tha commodore will otter
iato posMmia* of that gaaat property Ikevise,
with its-sixty pfyet&ks thousands of
miles of aires, its f^fty ^illfous 6t capital,
and its eight ojr nine .pillions of revenke.
When this occurs, aet .waly will the ccp- 1
mstoe of the four chief States of tba North
be subject tb Mr. Yanierbilf?tfnder ?ufi ;
fieahle restrictions as our Leeialaturcs m(y
C(WnvTTwnl n nf iAyt . iV
may prescribe not only what shall be tlfc 1
prioe of a barrel of four fn New York, bjt 1
also when, how, and at what cost citixen '
may communicate with, each other by telq '
graph. Of course he.will he aubjcot to legist '
latree eontrol. What itwiUamoeutt? we oil '
kuow. In the past, no legislature in t-hii 1
j Staft has ever dared to bread|bini. Ite will j
be a bold man, indeed, who attempts to U<1 1
aq now, when hie resources are so unbound- '
ed and his power so far reaching. U was
aid that tho late James Fish, ir.,' who con- <
trolled a paltry 450 miles ofBric, running 1
through a half settled country, could, on any '
meft {
Jmqpow nnny lmm> Hp p?ummi
the master of 216& miles of railway through j
. thickly settled country, and 75,000 mlfes
of telegraph ? It is, moreover, one thing to
pass laws agil quite another to execute them
agaiust a nun fertile in resource, energetic
iu action, obstinate iu combat, and inexhaustible
in purse. *
|* T?.i*Vl # ! h** JaJM *'Ja< ' >
Jefferson Davis Apologizes Under a
Challenge.
A* i.
+ 4* ?4 ? 3
This gentleman,* when a member of the
United States Senate, was a great sufferer
from a painful disease which deprived him
for souie time of the use of his eyes and ?
reduced hiui to a condition of great debility
and nervous irritability. The mental vigor
and spirit of the man would not, however,
permit him to absent himself from his plare
in the Senate! He was, therefore, always in
hU seat during the sitting of tho Senate, to
whieh he would be led by his wife, but in a
condition Umt jxcjted the. profound
sympathyobserved' Wm ! In the
debates wbieh arose in ths Senate, he was
always a listener, and never failed to take a
part when the subject invited the expression
of Ms views and one in which
he *r rTB Iflfli'i'l
teuiper, always earnest, and realotis, and not
disciplined by the*- loDJL praqlicc and cxSefi<mcC*at
tne wir.4 wWrcb tnoftf of the
onators had graduated, Mr. Davis was
frequently provoked in tho warmth of discussion
to language of a passionate and
virulent character, whioh his ooolor adversaries
would turn to advantage, or make
the occasion for placing him in the apparent
position of an unprovoked aggressor. Hut
when restored to calmness and reflection
Mr. Davis quickly discovered and always
promptly reco?*it#ddifr *ffor, and invariably
volunteered atonement t,hcrefor, or
-1.1 J. J li /loman/)A/Y nf Itlm
jflCIUCU IV mtDN Uiumn^u v. .......
Now, it happened on one ocoosion of a debate
iu the Senate, that Mr. Davis selected
oar own distinguished He tin tor, J. J'.
Benjamin,as the object of one of his wrathful
and menacing explosions, and hurled at
bin. an offensive mid personal insult. .Mr.
Benjamin made no reply in the Senate, hut
sent a prompt demand for an apology or the
satisfaction qf a gentleman. .Mr. Davis replied
that he "would deliver the answer to
tbw demand in the Senate. According^tho
next day ho apjieared in that august
body, and as soon as he could obtain tho
floor, arose and addressed the President in
one of tbc noblest and most touching aincuds
ever made by a proud and brave man. The
purport of it was that u natural irritable
temper hod not beta improved by a
military fife" anu inexperience in" civil debate,
and that when to these deficiencies,
was added a feeble and depressed physical
condition, he felt that ho nad claims upon
hi& brother Senators ior some indulgence
and forbearanoe for exhibitions of irritability
and aeorbify, anch as he had displayed to
tbo honorable Senator from Louisiana, on
the day before But it waa indeed a grout
1?.... ?olaee
and relief to hijn. . wl^n the opportunity
was afforded J)im thus promptly
to acknowledge his error and weakness, and
to express to .the honornb.e Senator his
sinoere sorrow and full withdrawal of the
offensive remarks, in which he had indulged.
These words. delivered in the peculiy
earnest aidSiiofiniehofyJtfcils 6f Mr..Davis,
produced a thrill through the whole Senate,
and when the two Seftntofs advanced and
cordially shook hands, the faces of all the
Senators were lighted op with an expression
of cordial sympathy and admiration of the
hiffh beariue and magnanimity of the harfci
Jlissiasippinn.?New Orleans Herald. ' !
Dr. McCoufth and OoinpnlMory
? Education.
Editors Chratiical on*1 SentintL
At the recent meeting of the National
Education! Association, held at Elinira,
New Voile, t)r. Mc'Cosh, the President of
Princeton, read an olaborate paper on UpGr
Schools, w which be stated that "durg
a recent tour through several' of the
most important Southern States, he had
found few or qo schools outside of the largo
cities and tewna; that every man blamed
his neighbor for this state of things, yet
nobody did anything to help it." Fortunately,
Prof Jbynes, of Washington and Leo
University, was present, who- protested
against this statement as unjust to the
Southern peoplo. Prof. Joynes stated that
aM that the Southern people asked was a
"just appreciation and the liberty to do the
bcsl they could for themselves. The South
wanted perfect equality before tho law in
education a? well as in govern meat"
-ft > T -LL^L. II I a.
irof. tioywes, wno hi wen Known w u? w
one of the uiost thoroughly (iompetent professors
in this country, deserves the thanks
of nil friends of Southern education1 for his
tiuxdy rebuke of this arrogant Scotch
President. Here is what Dr. McOwh proposcs-we
cypok W his paper on upperij
schools, as published ro the newspaper: "This
(the'pLn proposed) for the Northern, Midule
aod Western States.. For the Southern
States I propose a modification of the-plan.
Having taken a tour three months ugh in j
Wtte of the Southern States, I was grieved
to find throughout wide regions that out- j
3id? the great cities there was little or no
sducation provided for the paople, white or j
black.- It seems to we that the General
bloTwninont whieh has felt duly constrained
to interfere from time to time with the
Southern States, v;Ui require to tak< a
t'lirtlu.r sUp ami educate the peop/e tn ickoi*,
n or wrunejfy, it has (/in n th>- ffftk-1
Hero is a man, n foreigner, who, by his
iwn confusion, has spent but three months
in the South, and m.w proposes a plan of
legislation by which the whole South is to
have a syatem JifturenL JVoiu llie. Norihorn.
Middle nrftf 'ucStern Stifles. by which
ronipulsory cdncation is to bo established
fcrtl iC South. The scheme, as wc undi rland
it, proposes this and nothing clso.
The tlcncral Government, which has "felt
duly constrained to interfere from time
14 lime with the Southern Stales, tr >74/r<fiirr
to take a fHither step." This itfudmt
ik. McCosh proposes. And vet this j* the
min who is now making his appeals'fir 1
Siithoru patronage, who is urging thai the
vcang men of the South shall be sent to
l'nnceton to be educated.
bet this lenrnod President of Prinoet n
ha^ his own way about the subject of
ed'bation, and wc infer that the General
Goprnmcnt would take this Hfurt1wt step,"
undndopt a system of mixed common sohowls ]
through nut the South, with the chief of the j
burda at Washington City, or else at
Prinli.fnn with a hnrdc of liedu<?OCUea-? '
fresh importation?in every village and ,
distrpt. urmod with the legal authority to ,
enfohc the attendance of the c hildren .of i
Southern jwrpnts. Andrit\ for a cpUegi.ife !
edncwoti', wny, of fcours^, to get that the I
people ot the South should be compelled to !
stnd 4eir sons to Princeton. For did W
this Fpsident make himself notorious last
Wintet by appearing on the floor of the
United States Senate Chamber and lobbying
ag|nst the'scheme to give each Stat*; a
portiouof the proceeds of the sales of public
lands t4 aid in establishing colleges of science?i
scheme of inestimable advantage t<?
the im]svcrished South ? And yet, strange
to say. this learned Scotsman, concerning (
whom tone one has said ho oonti dive
deeper ^d come up drier than any author
known ;tlu$ distinguished Princeton ppesi- ;
dent, asl? for Southern patronage.
riuby.
" ?? ? ?~ *<!,.' ^ i
The Radical Platinum?Jackson. :
Miss., A|gust JJth?The Republican t'on- '
volition afoptcd a platform declaring it un- [
neccssai jfco adopt any new dogmas but simply j
to renew jks oppression of steadiest th.it 11 in !
the Kepnffiean party ; and is opposed to bur- I
doning tlii reconstruction of Mississippi with
the repudbted Planters and Union Hank 1
bonds, am) pledges the party to resist by all
lawful the assumption by the Stale of
any audi '*Lts. Tt opposes granting to rail. l
roads or ot^cr corporations the fund donated ;
to the StaUbv Cougrcss for educational pur
Hi' Mia hay!
1HIMJH, mill iwilliiuu.l UlW IBJ^OI v..- j
lOgislaturoof such grants already made. It
favor* a bicfcnal meeting of the Legislature, I
and na?rt f Mho equal rights of all children |
in the puMk Hchpols. and pledgpu the party j
to on fore J <*4h rlgm hy appropriate legHa- J
tion, and In tuppurt the present school gyv
torn thus cxpfcinod. It endorses It. (V Powers,
tho prca4t Governor. A resolution to
endorse tho Ivellog Government of Louisiana,
was received with such demonstrations of
hostility fliaf*li<r' in^ver with-.lrew If. Gen.
Ames was iutfe]iiced anduuid cashorta}?eceh.
saying, nmonqother things, that if elected
Governor, nnudiiring his term, nnv hill look
ing hi the payment <d*the repudiated dolit,
or qaeuing the question ip any way, shall
come up he must ccrtkiuly will veto it. The
Convention adjourned ?hw </z> at eightjo'clock
last evening.
' - - - . , S
Mr. Cladstone.
** -4
The fact which lies at the bottom of all
this hard work, and which is sending great
and little Britons to hydropathic establishment
in flockB, is that droves of human donkeys
persist in forcing themsolves into placos
and position for which they are unfit. Mr.
Gladstone, for instance, would make an
average schoolmaster. He has some knowledge
of Greek roots, and could plant them
in toe memories of docile boys by the help
of much scolding. Pic has such an acquaintance
with arithmetic that lie could make
out vhe half-year accounts of his pupils in
an earnest and profitable manner, errors excepted.
He knows, too, something of music
and something of china, and he might have
fiddled for ,tfyc Duke of Edinburg or kept a
shop in Wardour street. respectably. But
what on earth tempted a gentleman of his
disposition to go in foT politics ?" He baa
merely succeeded in lowering tho whole tone
afpol itical war fare to the level of a pedagogue's
dominion. It is not an improving sight to
bohold a, Prime Minister knocking about
the laws of tiis country and" stumbling over
them by turns because he oao .neither sea,
fed, nor comprehend them. It it not sweet
to hear a man in authorty scolding like a
washerwoman, and then ^it^Lng down to cry
hysterically over a cup dftea and his troubles,
while he sends for the Lord Chamberlain to
to forbid the playing of a pantomime win oh
pokes fnn at his whiskers. Fsuey William
Pitt or Charles James Fox, who were heavenborn
ministers, doing such a thing as this!
Why Fox once sat down with a personal
friend over a bottle and compared caricatures
with hhn, and when ho found that he oould
show the largest number (and mercy on us,
what hard hitters were the caricaturist
in hit -day I) he langhed like a boy.
Nor was the battle too much. Fox took his
politics-natorally, and did them for relax*'
> J *T ft,. ka
tion alter a nara nay ;n jiun waitci, ?
Ma a fat man, and had to stir his clumsy
legs briskly when he vanned to see a horse
race. A great^ouled. jolly fellow ho was
with wide human sympathies, an immense
knowledge of mankind, and language fall of
force and truth welled np liko the wators of
a fountain to his prodigal lips. Who can
imagine Mr. Gladstone and a bottle together,
unless the bottle contained an infusion of
camomile ? So it comes to pass that we
heaifftf. Gladstone U sick and weary, and
that ho must hide himself with a commercial
| friend in 'Scotland* now and then without
leaving his address in Thiwning street, that
he may recover from the effects of overwork.
I/ord Hronghaui was never overworked, nor
Lord Grcnvillw, nor Lord Melbourne, nor
Robert Peel; but these men were all politicians
by not lire. Mr. Gladstone would not
be overworked as proprietor of a commercial
aeadeinv, or as head clerk in a counting
house at Liverpool. Rut he Li absolutely
ignorant of the first principles of statesmanship,
and its practice is wearing him to fiddle
strings. There never was such an expression
upon the face of the natural ruler of a people
as (lint which has become fixed npon the
countenance of Mr. Gladstone. \t is a look
of peevishness, discontent, weakness and
hopeless bewildcrinont. No wonder that he
becomes hysterical three times a week ufter
tea. A cart horse would become hysterical
if he was set to work a sewing machine with
his fore feet.
' An Extraordinary Court.?A few
nights back, a party oflndiesand gentlemen
were laughing over the supposed awkwardness
attending a declaration of love when a
gentleman remarked thrft if he ever had an
opportunity to offer himself, he would do it.
in a collected and business-like manner.
"For instance." said he, addressing himself
to beautiful lady present, "1 would say :
'Miss S , I have been engaged for
two years looking for a wife. I am in the
receipt of a clear income of two thousand dol- j
lars a year from my present business, wtucn i
is Jaily on the increase. Of all the ladies of j
my acquaintance T admire you the most.
Tnloed. to speak plainly, T love you, and *
would most gladly inako you my partner for
' You flatter mc by your preference," good
humoredly replied Miss , to the surprise
of all present.
' Not at all,7 said he ; "I ain entirely sincere."
0
( "Then I refer you to my father," said the
father.
'Dravo!" exclaimed the gentlemen.
"Well, I dc-c l-u-r-e I" exclaimed the
ladies, in one united chorus.
The lady and gentleman were married soon
after.
W-an't ?Kb4 " notnarrator, "a modem
....... , T
way of coming to the point, and a lady-like
method of taking a man at his word ?"
Well, 09 tlharles Lamb would nay, <lIt
wasn'tanything else."
We owo many of our happiest moments to
the moon. Wo have hunted coons by her
soft light; we have watchod the dance and
heard the banjo "on the bench by the old
cabin door" while she hold her golden lantern,
I years ago, nnd we respect her for the sako of
old times. But if she really controls tho seas.his,
and is the same planet in tho north
that she ia in tho south, why does she burn
op Michigan with drought while she drowns
.Mississippi Alabama with incessant rains?
The cotton planters rejoice I Tbero has
at last been discovered a caterpillar cxterminator
that beats Maris green all hollow.
Lei ihctn sprinkle the plant with Cincinnati
whiM.' V The worms ntrl up and hind in
I Io n chocks at onoe.
i
THE BOSTON YOUNG LADY.
SHE COMES, SHE SEES, SHE COH^TTERS Ell
PERKINS. ? :
The Boston Young lady ha# arrived at
Saratoga. I mean the real literary young
lady?the siege of Troy girl. She grew up
in Boston, and graduated at Yassar College
last year* She wears eye-glasses and is fall (
of wisdom She scans Homer, rattles the |
verb " lipo" like the-multiplicatiou, sings
Anacreon to the old Greek melodies and
puts up her hair after the statue of the Ye- 1
nus of Mild. There is no end to her knowl- 1
odge of the classical dictionary, and when it
comes to Charles L&mb or Sydney Smith? ,
Sotherns of literature?those who never <
wrote much, but got the credit of every good
joke in England?she can say their jokes as
a Catholic says .her beads. If yoti ask her (
how she likee babies, she answers;
" How ? Well, as Charles Lamb remarked.
'I like 'em b?b?boiled.' "
Ask her any thing and she vill always t
lug in a quotation from some pedantic old t
fool like Dr. Johnson, or 8wift, or Jaek a
Busby, just to show that she's up in liters*,
ture and you are?green. Not a single ori- |
ginal idea, but one constantSocrates said,"
or "as Pluto remarked," or "as Diogines .
I observed." Yesterday, some sharp, shrewd,
[ original New York young ladies got hold of
j the pedantic business,, and introduced a t
I paraphrase on Miss Boston's language. t
"Do you love musio S&llie ?" ' ?
"Well, 'yes/ as the poet Observed." <
"How many glasses did you drink this -d
moAing?" ' . ./ -i -iIjW
" Six/' as Mr. Daball pathetically remark* 0
ed in his arthmetie. l
"Danoe the round dances?" j
"No," as the Lord Mayor of Loudon qui- 0
etly observed ttJoba mob Kin asxeu aim ror i
(he loan of fbttr dollars.
TheBostaugirl js so wslj posted that *lp 9
wine triumphs over yon by a sort of literary J
'"bluff" game. She attributes sharp quo- "
tations to distinguished men, and, conscious h
that you dare not question their authontiei- f {
ty, of course Bhe " blufls" you right down gj
Wbw too go to jtmmm, wi rail up, ,
and find that she ncally has "bluffed you, of p
course you arc tod gentle to mention it) mid &
so the Boston girl gees on pluming-herself w
at the expense of New York gallantry. *
Yesterday, tho Boston fflrl was at kauai* .
Somebody asked her wnO jjras the oldest, Tj
Methusela or Deuteronomy.
"Why, Barnes, the commentator, say6 ^
Deuteronomy came before Numbers'?of
course he is.too old to be computed^ B1
' Now, I know she lied, but still Ihad tny
doubts about it. I didn't want to break out ,'t
and say Deuteronomy crunc after Numbers, e)
and then have those miserable Boston fellows tc
say with that terrible upward inflection, how p.
are you, Eli Perkins? Oh, no. But when w
I did go up to p>y room I sent out to a gentleman
in Saratoga who has several buries
* - 1-?J Ka Pnntn tniTofi o r?A otfro ill
tu iniUj uuu mo & wiimiwuvii ~HHVI ?ui? ?
enough, just my hick, that miserable, pedan- <x
tic, spectacled Ronton girl was right. b<
If you nit down by this Boston girl and hi
don't behave likd a minister, she don't get "1
mad and pout. Oh, no. She says, Mr. Tomp- v
kins, shall I read yon a few lines from Serin- .
ner's? and then goes on?
Why can't you he sensible, Harry 1 j?1
I don't like men's arms on my chair. ^
Be still! if you don't stop this nonsense, ^
I'll get up and leave yon?so there! m
And when you talc* out a solitaire ring. C{
or try to "seal the vow," or something of that
wirt, as New York fellows always try to do ^
with.almost every Boston girl who comes
here, she looks up blushing, and in the lan- P
guage of Swinburne poetically remarks: ^
There! somebody's coming?don't look so? ?
Get up ou your own chair again?
Can't you seem as if nothing had happened! *
1 never saw such geese as you men: : ?|
The Graphic, j
????? e,
There is a man Danbury, Conn., who has
been engaged in the past two months in a a
mighty effort to kill a oat. In that time 0,
that unfortunate animal has explored the 0,
bottom of every sheet and stream of water ^
within six miles of Danbury, has had an ^
unintentional taste of the several new varie- ! g,
ties of powder, and has got so it can tell in 1
the dark without looking around, the differ- I
-ence between a half brick and a whole one. ! tj
The man himself hasn't got a whole piece of i p<
clothing in his wardrobe, and has almost 1 fe
entirely lost tho use of one leg from rheu- d<
matjsm contracted while drowning that cat; tc
aud has more scratches on him than the! tl
snvivor of foffr wives. His aged father j al
says he will take a chair out in the yard on ' tc
pleasant afternoon, will ait there for !
two hours at a time, and will look at that :
cat and swear.
; r_J_ . J
Wiiat Sub Said.?A colored man living "
on Macomb street, having long admired a w
colored widow living in the block next above, *'
hut being afraid to como out boldly aud re- w
veal his passion, went to a white man of his ,
acquaintance, the other day, asked him to ' C(
write the lady a letter asking her hand in i IT
marriage. Tho friend wrote, telling the wo- :
^ ' *!% ?* *liA e 1 ?n lint* j
liiuu lu a lew uriui uuua} mm* mo oiftv ui uvi a m
feet was the talk of the neighborhood, and I y
asking her if she couldn't pare thorn down a g
little. Tho name of the colored man was \ u,
signed, and lie was to call on her Sunday pi
night for an answer. Yestorday, the writer
of the letter met the negro limping along the
street, and asked him what the widow Baid.
The man showed him a blood-shot oye. a n<
scratched nose, a lamo leg, and a snot on the in
scalp where a hand-fhl of wool nad been a
violently jerked ont, and ho answered, in
solemn tones: '"She didn't say nnffin, an* I
didu'f stay dar mor'n a ininntc !" **
Tiro German fatniKt-s all related to oach tl
other and living in one school district in h<
Wisconsin, have seventy-five children W
suiting them, all snuud and noalthy. 01
W 1
rqarniti iJsJVM-oo
2 square* ? 00 9 od It; Off 18 00 26 00
t squares _, ,8 jW ;8 00 jyfl24 QOi 86 00
1 squares fl* 00 J6 qpLgO 00 M JOT^OO
\ column 15 00! 19 00*24 00! 3? W 50 00
| column 20 00' 80 00; 40 00; 65 00' 80 00
I column ?80 OOj 60 OOj.-CQ OD, W 0^>0 00
All Transient Advertisements vill W dMtifsd
Ose Dollar per Square for the first and S*YI*rT-nyE
Ckjits perea^^^M^Sfent
OUR OHLP-BASKBT.
Sweetening one's eoflfee is gcnwally tk.
first stirring eyeot of the d^y.
Why are handcuffs like g^ide Wpks ?
Because they are made for two wrists.
J .'.vt t>
Hew York doesn't wqat h^?bcsad battered
unless the farmers supply them with
better material. ' * **'
? '' '' .^V1 SMttnai
,"Prosperity is no just scale, mfPIjtf- ?
irch, "adrersity is tho ohTy" balance to
ireigh friends." * ' *1 '"+* '**
"Shall you sue for dMhagdr?* "Tf6t
nuch ; it's repairs I need; I'm damaged
nough." - ,
The young lady who has eyu)ee4 such
leep interest in the hero of a certain qrimital
case is often heard to to sing, "Let me
ass him for his murder " '
I : .->;!/ 1 zf* yti:y0^
A dreg clerk who j>ot ?p noise* for
ininine took the matter very eoofly, Myiyg
he victim was old and would hay# died in
. few years spy ^ t . ?/jmk,pvt i4t <>
uD?r new," taid a Arte*/ .yertlsdey, <<
rh?n bis bigtoearm masked istty?s ?*?
rhioh asotbecdropped .on WiJk
tad on ay new ahosa" # u ?y*? tad*
A Wrflahd'Wtor'tofc
rout on another man's land, the ether day ;
he owiiyfrttMll??*iiiid is
ilenca before the mSiestie answer: "Who
rants to catch yoht fish ? HtaAt to
www tlrtd woret^v*-} x*
Private advices froaCbarfoltefcfctttMt
fc Tuesday aigik^ a-ymigg grM ofWNto
ears, of TMpaotehUt %mffy,
is&ppeared. -She t*Sf last se?n, jkout*
Xbwiio ac obita^ r^^ w^ .iih
andta r*"John,"
Mid * dotting
ormandising *>n,"do yow iWAllwebidk yoa *
Moot the,whole f?. the pwd<frwfcw?lVim
*fr. ui
m55^'
ir Us UfcWhu ftarwr
oceaoioe for padding df thy ? **' It
u know a M the ang-oottog, fod, fcutf*
>ring. *faS9t ,\+mu
The editor of- tho Saw Fi? mo tikroule
after stating that be has "no desire to
igage io a personal controversy," proceeds
I characterise ^qditMdfrSBlM ne*s*
rper as a drunken ana cowardly idiot,
ho disgraces journalism.".-.it tr> - wfT
An old lady was telling her gtand'^biTren
abont some trouble in SetfUtid^fcttke
>nrse of which the ehief. of her olah was
) headed. "It was nae great thing of a
jad brains,'to be sure,'* said the ttoof My.
jut it was a sad loss to Jiini."'
??t~>7- i
Soeae in a Fort Wayne dry goods atone.?
ady?How much for this print/ gentleanly
and obiigiri? clerk?Nine cents, mum.
ady?Nineteen cCtits, I'R yiveyon eighteen
lerk?Nine cents, main; jwt misunderstood
e. Lady?Oh I nine ;.Iii giro yen night
I yf: Uu
"Pretty well," remarked the doctor's
lughter who took an inteseat in henftfharfc
iirse and profession, when some one anktid
sr "how things were going 90." "Plenty
' colds, somo bronchitis, and a little typhus
ver; but, as fkther said yesterday, what we
ant to make thing* lively is a nlee1 Kttio
pdami*" h| -1 *
An aver crowded Mich igander has dfscored
the beet way yet of getting rid of hie ?t>ring.
He drove hie wngon, consisting of
MichigoosMadtitorelafenhttchigoelings,
rer a hundred mile territory, dropping one
it over the tailboard svtoy fev mot* ' He
rapt the old critter iA.n ernnk, *od and get
ick home the best-divorced man in the
tate.
t; >-i ?i<u- w ' ?i 1 i- - ail
A Missourian who stole a km from apretr
girl was fined by e magistrate, horse-whipid
by her brother, and worried into a bnun
iver by bis wife The clergyman also ilfcsd
to the affair in biseermon, the local editor
ok aidas with the clergyman, and sneisned
le case in print, and the potato bag oame
oug and ato op every blade of the makfao>rTs
wheat crop.
"I say, otd boy," cried Paul Pry to an exivator
whom he espied at the bottom fi a
iwning gulf, "what are you digging there 7"
A big hole,*1 the old boy replied. Pttrt
-?t 4a La nnh aAT tea ihto ^LaL ion ?Wkfil
113 flUV IV IAJ |HIV VII III VMM IVH. ,,
re you going to do with the hok V' he
iked.
"Going to cut it up i oto mud! holes, rejoin*
I the old boy, and retail them to ftumers for
iite-posts."
Bio Sgu a w.?It is said that Kate Grant,
i old Indian aqoaw, living at Grant,
Wisconsin, has killed eight been this nnoflir.
[ale is still unmarried. Many a bear has
itempted to hog her, bit she never pormitirh
familaritics. Kate is evidentlj no wall
;cr when clanger is bruin.
A facetious Massachusetts grocer anounces
on a plaoard at the door: "A fresh
ivoice of choice licken," when he receives
new lot of sacked tongues.
The largest farmer's meeting ever held it
is United States, took place on the 6th.
ixty granges, numbering about ten
lousanu pernios, accompanied bj five
and red wagons, marched m proeearion.
liss Garretaon, a farmer's daughter, was
le of the speakers. .
k