* '
. . ' - - .
VOL. XXXIII. CAMDEN. S. C-, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 4. 1873. IVO. 1. ' <
*
Til CABIN JOPRKAL.
AN
INDEPENDENT FAMILY PAPER
PUBLISHED BY
JOHN KERSHAW.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
Oat year, in advance $2 60
?r Biz month* 1 50
Thret months.... 75
Htf* Transient Advertisements mast be paid
iaaofaaoa.
? ow?? iWhw to ftoaarism as its
Ratage.
[From the Shrevepovt Times ]
The New York Herald has recently pointed
oat, in t series of very able articles, the
tendency of this government to Caesarian),
and sought by the most earnest appeals to
aroaae the people to a sense of the danger
that threatens the Republic. The sagacity
of the Herald has hot been at fault; it has
clearly divined the inevitable issue of the
prevailing political and economic theories?
the centralisation of the States and the
uswpation of all the powers of government
by the Federal Administration?Imperialism
in the forms of the republic?Caesar ism.
Bat can the Herald hope to check the fall
of rtpahtioanism by its appeals to the
people in behalf of the constitution ;*by
ponding the old rallying ories of liberty;
by sioqaent discourses on the right of Belf i
government, and seething denunciations of
awupni and tyrants? There may be some 1
of the old love of liberty, there may be a
great deal of it, left in the heart of the
Northern people; bat tbey have placed in
the hand* of General Grant a power more
potent for the deetraotion of oivil liberty !
than their lave is for its preservatipn. In a
spirit of matignint hate, they hare given
ever to gpettmnn by rings and unprincipled <
pnMthnaas, and to the mercy of a multitude 1
of ignorant and hrutal negroes eleven of the '
States which were the very citadels of re- '
pabKnsnima, aad where the spirit of civil 1
Km) its unrest sanctuaries: i
tot tk p?eimtinn of these States they hare
permitted Coogram and the Administration
to dhwfsid the gumanteaa of the constitution,
until the soasritation has ceased to
commend the rererenoe of any portion of
' the oouniry; they hare permitted every,
principle or jotioe, magnanimity and
honor to be ioisted by the Government in
leneohing its lern end vindictive wrath
at these States, until jastioe, magnanimity
and honor, m public virtues, hare fallen into
utter contempt; prompted by cupidity
end eestioeel vanity, they watched apmovingly'
the appropriation of the public
domain and the expenditure of the public
reranim in the creation of gigantic rings
and monopolise which are grown stronger
than.they are themselves, and which they
inwiwlM to ormrov.
9ueh it tkt rtiU of sfftirs the radical or ?
republican perty bat brought about, tod out t
of whieh it tgmag; with unmistakable die- <3
tinetoess Cawariam. t
Jfor will the grim reality down at the 1>
bidding of the Herald ot theeeoaaas of the *<
northern people, and the country may soon ?
be startled by the development io the "
South, which his been hated, brdgered, "
robbed, persecuted and trampled in the b
dost, of a wide spread and powerful oreaniza- a
tion of white people, to sustain Gen. Grant's y
pretentions to a lift time presidency, or, if ?'
he desiree it, to a sceptre ama, imperial crown, f
We hold tliat among all the races of men i1
there hasgxisted none in whose hearts burn- u
ed a higher, haughtier and truer love of "
liberty, than that, which once animated the t
Cople of the South; and cenxuered, they c
ve for years, under persecution, robbery v
rod contumely, been true to their ideas of '
freedom, sacrificing with a chivalrous devo- 1
tion their all in the support of these lofty i
sentiments. But the last .hope of restoring i
the parity of the republic, or of obtaining b
juatioe under the government the radical i
party has eat oyer them, is rapidly vanishing,
and they are fast making up their 1
minds, thai their only hope of relief; that 1
only refuge, is iu Imperialism. Thoy re- <3
member that Gen. Grant was formerly a t
democrat yf liberal views; that he never be- >
iieved in the policy of enfranchising the t
freedmea; KM M display eu a iom
nigauiaitT in ?sapling the surrender of
Qea. Lie; that, eent on a tour throughout d
the Sooth by Piemdent Johnson, he gave a
troufthfbl and.kindly report. They consider
in thie connection, that the epoetin of hate
die scoundrels who 'have plundered these
States and written them with rain, have all
been radical politicians and republican
miseries: that republican party has regarded
the nsg 10 rote as its backbone of J
strength, and by the mow unjust end unmerciful
system of tactics, organized it as
unit against the whiles end the true interests
of the Sooth: remember all these things
end many mors of the seme nature, and they
naturally oooelude thai their best hope is in
emnnoipeting Gen. Grant from the tharldom
ef his part by Discing him above it,-as well
as above the south- in short making him
Dictator, Perpetual President, Caesar, or, if
he desire it Imperor. The people of the
section are beginning to feel that if Gen.
Grant were independent, he would be just,
ok at least, rsmooad above all factions and
parties, and equally independent of sections
end all States, ell would alike feel the i
- - - - * A -11 ?l!l
weight or the government auu an auae i <
enjoy h$ protection and parlicipate in ita 11
blemings. Finally they feel that any change |
will bo for tho boot, and that any species of i
government i? preferable to the infamous
mongrel despotism, which recognizes intelli- 1
genee and virtue aa political disabilities, and i
rewards with the highest offices of the States,
rascality, ignorance and brutality; whiob
drives emigrants from their borders, capital
from their eitiee, and smites as with a curse i
thsir wide and and once productive fields
They are ceasing to hope for a restoration of
the republic, and between carpet-ba^ge 17
and Caeearism, they will take tbe latter ; between
Kellogg, Moses and thels compeer*
end Grant they will take Grant if he will
abandon radicalism for Imperialism.
Speaking from this stand point, we believe
we ean say-in behalf of a vast majority
of the white people of the South, that
if Gen. Grant will cut loose from the carpetbaggers,
end the villainous radical xaou.^
strosity here, he will find a mightj organ"
iiation ready to ally itself with hiin, and the
army and navy and the grpat railroad and
other corporations, to sweep away the miserable
wrecks of what was once a noblo republic,
and rear upon the ruins a splendcd imperialism,
under the vigorous administration
of which, the material resources of the
conntry will be developed; life and property
protected; taxation equalized, and under
whose just laws Couisiana and South
Carolina will as fully protected in the blessings
of the government, as Massachusetts
and New York.
It is scarcely necessary for us to say, in
conclusion, that for ourselves, we would
only be willing to accept so dread an alternative
as a last extremity short of continued
Radical mle; but we venture to
warn those of of the Northern people who
fear Imperialism that the South has been
bo crushed, so harried and plundered, that
many of her people would turn even to
Qrant if only thereby they could escape the
ills that oppress them.
SINGLE BLESSEDNESS.
REPORT OF A MAN WHO KEPT HOUSE WHILE
HIS WIFE WAS OFF FOE THE SUMMER.
My wife has gone away for the summer
and left me in roll charge of the house. I
like it: haven't had such a run of liberty
lino* we were married. I hope she's having
t good time, for I can now exercise my rights
u the head of the family. Can't do it when
ihe's at home; she'll not stand it. She has
rules, and makes everybody about her toe
the mark. But I've got her now, and am
luring things my own way. This morning
[ came home qnite early. It was 2, a. m.
t'd been to to the club and got caught in the
rain. For half an hour I couldn't find the
cey hole, which must have got mislaid. I
elt for it everywhere, and even got down ino
the yard and examined every brick, but
louldu'tfind it. I was in the act of calling
me of my neighbors and asking him who
rho had carried off my fVont door, when I
uppened to find it and got into the
louse. *
In the dark I kicked over a spittoon, but
nckily didn't get any of the tobacco juice
m my boots. I hung my overcoat and umirella
on the prong Of the chandelier, let
hem drip on the parlor carpet, went up
tain and turned in with my boots on. I
honght it wasn't worth while to pull them
iff, as I would have to get up in eight or
en hours anyhow. If mv wife had been at
ipmo she'd have had me looking an hour for
be boot joek, and I would have lost that
mount of rest which my system so much
teeded. Besides, she'd have made me give
full account of myself, which I don't like
o do. I never did believe in praising my
If If* hotter to let others sneak of one's
***** ** " " * " " " " 1
irtues. I can now wear a shirt a week and
to nobody's business. I don't see how I
ver did get along with that woman. The
dea of having to put on a clean shirt, black
ay boots, and brush up my clothes every
noising, is simply ridiculous. It is a miracle
o mo how I ever did it and attend to my ,
ther affairs. I now read the morning paper
rithout being forced to see an impatient
roman standing with her dress in one hand,
ooking vey miserable, and telling me she
s going down town and wants that paper,
iny one, to look at the house now, would
;now there's no women about, everything
s so quiet and comfortable and handy.
If I want to da a little figuring I don't
tave to hunt up a pencil, or pen and ink,
>ut I just sit down to one of the tables and
lo it with my finger, and there's nobody to
* eternally wielding a dusting brush around
,nd around my htfad and telling ine to get out of
he way until the house is cleaned. These
re considerations that every married man
hould ponder over. But when we do ponler
and resolve, what good docs it. do?
"hat's the question that is now agitating the
be American people. What good does it
lo ? Not \ bit. If these womcn'can't have
verything just their own way, they swoon
ff into hysterics. As a consequence, we
>ave to pay a fifty dollar doctor's bill, and
tay in the house all day, fanning them, and
promising in the end that "we may be happy
et," before they show any disposition to
ompromise. Onr wives are petted too mnch.
kna this reminds me that mino won't yield
o any other treatment. I undertook to preeribe
a more stringent remedy for her one
lay, but it threw her into a fit more like jiinams
than anything I knew of. She broke
ivery plate in the house over uiy head, and
hen I hod to kiss her before she would
iromiso not to do it again. That's what
uakes me say she is set in her ways.
There, too, are the piano and guitar, which
the kept going from morning until midnight,
tiling the whole neighborhood with the dis5ordant
sounds which she called music.
Both are as tnute as the bird cage which was
raoated last weok by a stragctic movement
)f the cat. The two hundred nots of flowers
the left me to cultivate I don t think will
prouce much of a crop. They'ro nearly all
ripe now, and there'* no sign nl'a flower yet.
[ have watered thorn twice since she left,
but it did no good. I reckon thfcy miss her,
and are pining away because she ain't here.
In this respoct they do not resemble me to
any alarming extent. Our kitchen never
looked better. The stove and pipe have assumed
a beautiful red tint, and the pota are
bringing forth a fine crop of white looking
vegetable mould, which I haven't, learned the
name of; but she'll know it when she comes.
The dishes don't looke quite as bright and
clean as they might, but the flies are hud
this year, and if I were to wash thorn every
two weeks they wouldn't present a respectable
appearance.
Notice to the Editor?Please suppress
that article I sent you about my ' Spell of
Single Blessedness." The old woman has
got back.
Sunday Morning Christians
From the Southern Presbyterian.
The church has long been familiar with
the phrase, Sunday Christinas, as applied
by the world to a class of professors who accomplish
the entire business of religion, both
ceremonial and moral, in one day of the
seven. But an "age of progress" has developed
an improved class who have the
proud distinction of having approximated
the minimum of religious services still more
closely. Not long since I entored a chui'ch
on Sabbuth.evening, which had been fall
in the morning, and was astonished to see
not one-third as many present. I wondered
what was the matter. The weather was
pleasant and the church comfortable. Tfad
the sexton* failed to ring the bell ? Had some
pestilence broken out during the afternoon ?
What was the matter ? I thought of some
Hn/httra detained bv small children at home,
and of a few aged and invalid persons who
could not safely venture out at night. But
these allowances did not near oover the case.
My amazement was increased when I learned
that those I expected to sec at this 'church
were not at any other. And still more, when
I was told that the same state of things prevailed
in many other communities. In my
perplexity, I concluded to ask you, Mr. Editor,
what is the reason why so many attend
only the morning service, and also to ask you
whether there is a remedy.
Meanwhile I cannot help revolving in my
mind some of the evil results of this absenteeism,
whether it can be accounted for satisfactorily
or not. I could see well, enough
that it affected the minister very painfully,
lie certainly found it harder to speak in an
empty house. He also appeared depressed
and disheartened. True, the few souls to
whom he was preaching were of infinite value,
and warranted bis best exertions* But
he saw that those persons, though present,
j were less interested from seeing so many vacant
seats, as evidence of general indifference.
Then the subject matter of the sermon
was adapted just as much to the absent
as the present, and was even more needed
by some of them. Iudeed it seemed to be a
fit sequel to the instruction: of the morning,
and it appeared to me that by losing the second
discourse, they virtually lost the first.
I tried very hard to imagine these absent
Mi-flnna at noma, lamenting their inability
to attend, and carefally and prayerfully meditating
or the preoiuos troths they had
heard in the morning, but my imagination
was too feeble, and completely broke dowja
in the effort, And T fell to thinking that they
had carried very little home with them, and
were perhaps then engaged in some unprofitable
reading or talk. But, poibaps, that is
uncharitable, and I take it back. Yet really,
Mr. Editor, I am puzzled?and 1 come to
you for light. It seeuis to mc that, to attend
the services of the sanctuary only onehalf
of the day when it is convenient to at
teud the whole day, docs show a want of
lovo 'to God's house, worship and word.?
And that certainly as much dhcrifice and
effort ought to he made to honor God in the
,devotions of public worship, and to scuire
our spiritual profit through the preached
word, that we ordinarily* make for worldly
advancement and gratification. I have observed
that strangers and others which constitute
the "building material" of the church,
are uujre inclined to attend night services
than the inornfng, and have been pained to
- 1 ? J _
see inein virtuatty anten away uy mo sum
attendance they seo on sad) occasions. Lot
those who nceil no more instruction themselves
cousider this point.
The First Fuchsia.
A pleasant story is told in iui En
glish horticultural journal of the way the
Fuchsia gained its notoriety and popularity
among flower-lovers, and introduction to the
horticultural world:
"Old Mr. Lee, nurseryman and gardener
near London, well known fifty or sixty years I
ago, was one day showing his variegated
treasures to a friend, who suddenly turned
to him and declared: 'Weil, yon have not
in your collection a prettier flower thuu 1
saw this morning at Wapping.' 'No? Atid
pray what was this phcemx liko ?' 'Why,
the plant was elegant, and the flowers4iung
in rows like tassels from the pendant branches,
their colors 4he richest crimson ; in the
centre u fold of deep purple, and"so forth.
Particular directions being demanded and
j given, Mr. Leo posted off to the place where
he at onco perceived that the plant was new
in this part of the world, ilo saw and ndtnired.
Entering the house he said : 'My
good woman, this is a nice plant. 1 should
like to buy it.' 'Ah ! sir. I tould not sell it
for no money; for it was brought me from
the West Indies, by my hu-band, who has
now let! again, and I must keep for his
his sake ' 'But, I must have it.' iNo,sir!'
'Here 1' emptying his pocket-; *hcre is gold,
silver, copper, (his stock was somo more than
eight guineas.) 'Well-a-day ! But this is
a power ??f money, sure and sure.' "l'is yours,
and the plant is tnine; and my good woman,
yon shall have one of the fir.-i young ones I
rear, to keep for your husband's sake.' A
coach was enlled, in which was safely deposited
our florist and his seemingly deal
purchase His first work wa- to pull oil'and
utterly destroy every vestige of blossom and
blossom bud; it was divided into cuttings,
- - V-.-I i,ril.
| whieb "were lorcM inio iwwr-i?i.-.
beds, were rodivided and subdivided. I\vcr\
effort war' made to multiply the plant, by
the commencement of the next flowering
reason, Mr Leo was the delimit ted possessor
of 3(10 fn. hsiu plants, all giving prnmi a of
blossom. The two which opened tir t were
removed into his aliow house ; a lady came
'?\ hy, Mr Jiie, uiy dear'Mi Lee! where
did you gel this charming flower V Horn!
j 'tis a new thing, my lady. Pretty, i- it notV
| Pretty! "Pis lovely. It's price 'A guinea;
tHank your ladyship;' and one of the two
plants Btood proudly in her ladyship's boudoir.
1SIy dear Charlotte ! where did you
get. that elegant flower?' 'Oh, 'tis a new
thing. I saw it at old Let's. Pretty, is it
not?' 'Pretty! 'Tis beautiful! Its price ?'
'A guinea.' There was another left. The
visitor's horses smoked off to the suburbs.?
A third flowering plant stood ou the spot
whence the first had been taken. The second
had been taken. Tho second guinea
J 1t.. .'..J
nuo puiu, auu tue s?;u<uiu CUU8VU lUUIlSlU
adorned the drawing-room of her second ladyship.
The scene was repeated, as newcomers
saw and were attracted by the beauty
of the plant New chariots flew to the gates
of old Lee's nursery-ground. Two fuchsias,
young, graceful, and bursting into healthful
flowers, wore "constantly seen on the same
spot in his repository. He neglected not
to gladden the faithful sailor's wife by the
promised gift. But ere the flower season
closed three hundred golden guineas clinked
in his purse, the product of the single shrub
from the window in Wapping; the reward of
taste, dcoision, skill and energy of old Mr.
Lee."
A Gamblino House?Ladies are farbidden
to step forth within the precincts of
Mr. John Morrissev's great au<^ elegant
gambling house. This veto was put upon
the ladies by the Young Men's Christian
Association, for the purpose of saving the
Indies and ruining the men; or, wonld appear
most clearly in sensible uiinds, for the
purpose of ruining both, for how are women
to be saved if men go to destruction ? And
much more certain is the fact that shutting
the women ont from any place where men
congregate is the best means iii the world to
abandon it to doubtful fate. A lady, however,
went into John Morrissey's house the
other day, and looked it over. She was accompanied
by a highly agreeable aud intelligent
Southern gentleman, to whom she is
greatly indebted for a minute explanation of
the workings of this institution, its follies
and failings. The house is maguiflceut in
frescoim?. carvinz. furniture, cut glass, car
pet? and chandeliers, beyond anything that
can be seen in this country. The card ta
bles were covered, as it was very early in
the morning, so that she was deprived of
witnessing the games. The most extravagant
and costly food is served here on plates
of silver and gold. The waiters are the best
trained. Here is the office where the business
of racing dene, the. pooU bought and ^told.
One lofk? upon the whole thing, lakes .
a realizing sense of its all, and exclaims,
' What an elegant and supurd hell 1"
Gentleman is not merely a person ucqnainted
with certain furms and etiquette of
life, ea3y and self-possessed in society, able
to speak and act and move in the world
without awkwauiness, and free from habits
which are vulgar and in bad ta-te. A gentleman
' _> something beyond this; that which
lies at the root of all his pleasing i-< the same
spirit which lies at the root of every Christian
virtue. It is the thoughtful desire of doing
in every instance to others as lie would that
/ithnrq should do unt< him. Ho is constant- (
ly thinking, hot indeed how he may give [
plcasuro to others for the mere sense of j
pleasing, but how he can show respect to I
others, how he may avoid hunting their feeling.
When he is in society, he scrupulously
ascertain? the positions and relations of every
una with whom he comes in contact, that he
may give to each his due honor, his proper i
position. He studies how lu; may avoid
touching in conversation upon any subject ;
which may needlessly hurt their feelings? i
how he amy abstain from any allusions wluch
may call up a disagreeable or offensive as- i
sociation. A gentleman never alludes to<a
never appears conscious of any person's defect,
bodily deformity of talent, of reputation
in the person in whose society ho is i
placed. He never assumes any superiority to
himself?never ridicules, never sneers, uever :
boasts, never makes a display of his own pow- i
er, or rank, or advantages?such as is implied
in ridicule or sarcasm, or abuse?as ho
uever indulges in hab'ils, or tricks, or inclinations
which may be offensive to others.
An Extraordinary Murdkr Trjal.?
A rcmakable murder trial has recently tako
plaee in the county ot Tyrone, Ireland. Iu
June, 1871, Mr. (jluss, the Cashier of the
Northern Bank, at Newtownstewarl, was
found murdered in the bank, and it was
subsequently ascertained that a robbery had
been committed, nearly JS2,000 having been
abstracted. A sub-inspector of police named
Montgomery, who had been ou terms of intimacy
with the cashier, was arrested and
brought to trial ou the charge of being the
murderer. An officer of the Royal Irish
- * 1
Constabulary occupies t lie same social |>oaition
in Irelund that u commissioned officer
in the military service occupies in England,
and the proceeding in th# case of Montgomery
excited* interest autong all classes in
i lie community whore tlicy took pluco. The
j lirst trial occured last year, and the feeling
i against the prisoner was so strong in his own
1 district that all jurymen living within five
, miles of Newtownstcwart were excluded
; 1*10111 the jury-box. The second triul took
almal a fortnight aco, ami occupied more
I 111uii leu days. Highly three witnesses wore
! examined, and the counsel ! >r thu delenre
I madi' a spocli ten hours in length. They
! jury deliberated I'.tr twelve hours without
I bring aide to D!rree upon a verdict, when
I ihe V Here discharged. and I lie ea o was nsi
ipiied lor a third trial. This lias bo< u the
i ni'-f-t pmtractvd ease cwroii trial in Ireland,
ami it promise to Turnish occupation for
fourth uiuMawycrs for a long time to couie.
New gold, silver, and plntinn mines have
hern discovered six leagues Iroin the I'tlj" of
.Mixieo.
Tiie Wrong Way to Pick up a Snapping
Turtle.?A man named Gilsey, who,
by strict economy and severe industry, has
succeeded in getting his family a little place (
free from encumbrance, was fishing in Still
river, near the Heaver bi*ook mills, on Sunday
afternoon. After sitting on the. bank
for a couple of bours without catching anything,
he was gratified to see on a stone in t
the water a snapping turtle sunning himself.
The butt eud of the turtle was toward him,
and he thought hs would capture it, but,
while he was looking for a place |o step the
turtle gravely turned around without his 1'
knowledge, and when he got in reaching dis t
tanee. and bent down to take bold of what
nature designed should he "taken hold of f
while handling a snapping turtle, that so- }>
ciable animal just reached out and took of
Mr. tjilsey's hand with a grasp that Jett no
doubt of its sincerity. The shrieks of the s'
unfortunate man'ar..used some of the neigh- R1
bora, but wheu they arrived it was too late
to be of any*benefit to hitn, or even*to them- ai
selves, for they just caught a 'glimpse of a
bareheaded man tearing over the hill, stfing- .
ing a small carpet-bag on one hand, and
tbey at once concluded that was a narrow
es<?apc from highway robbery. However, it
was not a carpet-bag he was swinging; it was sa
that turtle, and . it clung to him until he ol
reached the White street bridge, when it
let go; bat tho frightened man did not ^
slacken bis gait until he got home. When ag
he reached the the house the ludicrousness
of the affair burst upon him, and when bis
wife, looking at bis pain face and bare hpnd, 88
and dust begrimed olothes, asked him what
was the matter, he said, "Nothing was the
matter, only ho was afraid he would be too w
late for church," oud appeared much relived Xi
to fiud that he wasn't.?Daidmry Nine*.
Ahk You Ready to Dye??Traveling in jj
his buggy alone, not long ago, in going to
one of his appointments, oue of our good
brethren iu tho Presbytery of Memphis overtook
a tramp with his carpet bag in bis hand, w
The roads were muddy, and be was just at hi
the time about entering a miry bottom. p<
Why the politeness for which he is. noted, c
he asked the pedestrian (an entire stranger)
if he wonld not take a seat in tho buggy un- ^
til, at least, they had crossed the mud and p
mircr. The invitation was readily accepted, ^
and the conversation for a time was free and
easy, about things ordinary and general.
Presently, however, the good brother with a
view to matc~ thT' conversation profitable, ,e
asked the stronger if he was ready to die.
Not krtowing the character of the person ^
who hadjnvited him to a seat with him, and ul
apprehending his meaning and suspecting
foul play, he waited not to reply, Dut sprang
from the baggy immediately, and ran for life f
through slush an water. Thejflerical broth- <a
or wishing to assure the stranger that he
meant no harm, called to him at the top of tli
his voice to stop. Hut this only hastened in
his speed, and like a sacred hare, he ran un- hi
til beyond hearing and sight, fu his hasty p<
llight he left flis carpet-sack, which our
brother now has in his possession, being the
richer for his faithfulness by the addition of j4
a char e shirt, a pair of threadbaro trousers, '
and a little "backer."
Ah mjj.'iis Pretbytt riau.
pi
When Mr?. Siddons was playing Lady
Macbeth in Dublin, at that part where a
drum sounds, ahd she exclaims, "A drutn ! ',e
a drum ! Macbeth doth come !" there where
some difficulty or neglect in obtitiniiing the \
necessary instrument, and to her amazement ,,f
a trumpet wue sounded. ?ho immediately j?.
saw how absurd it would lm to say "drum" i,,,
while tho sound of the trumpet tilled the
ears of the audience, so she said, "a trum- .
pet! a trumpet! and stopped short, amid '!
breathless silence, not knowing how to
rhyme, whan a voice from the gallery callI'd
out.' Macbeth doth stump it 1" at which
tho house broke out into a peal of laughter y"
and applause, and the tragedienne-advanced
- - .... I i. I u.i..
to the footlights ana dowcu net uctuimn-ug- ^
ment lor the reliel'. Sslie afterwards tried to vc
lind out who it was, hut failed to do so, and av
never forgot what she considered the uiost
genuine piece of wit she had met with in all
her experience. ?
Can the bones of Washington rest in J"
peace while the chair thoy reclined in at the
iirst inauguration is used as a prop to support
corruption '( Aud yet we learn from a '?
Washington telegram that Mr. William w
Coventry H. Waddlle, "late Commissioner
of bankruptcy under the act of 1842," ha>
lent for use at the inauguration of (.>011!
(iraut to-day, the identical chair in question.
When it is known that Mr. Waddoll is the 1
partner of Mr. Taiiborn of Massachusetts, '
" " ? ????...> o
to whoui Secretary iSoutwew nas commvicu
to give some one or two millions of legacy
and succession taxes, people of inquiring '
minds will be likely to wonder if this id not
prostituting the chair aforesaid by making y,
it a support for a corrupt job. s*
A Detroit niau brought a horse the other ,n
day, and not linding hiuiuli that the jockey's ,,j
fancy painted hiiiir A|>|?Iie?l a dye to the animal
that uiade him a lovely black, and resold
him to the dealer. In about two weeks the tc
animal was resold to the first purchaser, his
appearance having undergone another is
change, and now Detroit is interested to w
know which of the men ought to sue the so
other. * wt
A drunken fellow wandered into a Sun- i
day school, and took a seat among the prim- Kf
<rscholars, when the teacher thus accosted jr
him : "Why. .lames, do you know what con- f|
dition you are in ?" "Yes, m'm; in the gall fi
of bit.'ijess an' bonds of 'niquily. A k me j;
some hard quo'ihii'ns." p.
Parental acres? The old man's corns.
I
..
4
ADVERTISING RATES.
Space. 1 M. 2 M. j 8 M. p M.
square *3 00, (5 GO 8 00 12 00 I9 00
! squares 6 OO! 9 OO1 12 00 18 W 26 00
squares 9 OOi 13 00' 16 OOj 24 00; 86 00
squares 12 00 16 00 20 00, 30 00 43 00
column 10 00 19 O0 24 GO 34 00 00 00
column 1 20 00 30 00 40 00 Co 00, 80 '0
column - I 30 00. 60 00.' 60 Ofl 90 00,150 00
All Transient Advertisements will he charged
)nk Doi.i.ar per fqnace for the first and Sevexy-five
Cexts per Square for each subsequent
nsertion Mingle insnrtiou, $1 50 per square.
OUR CHIP-BASKET.
Relies of the kitchen?Wringing mashines.
'
John Smith lives in New York this year,
rhere arc 248 of him.
A Cook that f'lwiils with indignation" is
he greatest economist of fuel known.
Should a uiau be arrested for taking
hings as they come ?
A man who wanted to he a minister said
ic believed he had been called to labor in
he Lord's born-yard.
The little boy with his first ?*igar and the
ruckman with his gentle mule both tried to
ack her and couldn't.
Mute admiration?That shown for his
weetheart by a fellow who neither htfars nor
peaks.
Who is it who is always expecting quarter
nd yet never gives any? The tax-gatherer.
The leap year style of popping the queson
now is, "Don't you want me to wash
ishes for you. . .
The latest thing in engagement rings is*a
ipphirc and a ruby together, emblematical
I* love and fidelity.
"1 come to steal," as the rat observed to
ie trap. "And I spring to embrace you,"
t the trap replied to the rat.
A man writing poetically of the weather,'
ys, "The backbone of winter is broken, but
ie tail wags yet occasaionafly."
To what would a icaa taking breakfast
ith his betrothed be most likely to object?
o take any butter (but her.)
A Nebraska man rcently sowed twentyght
bushels of wheat in three minutes.?
is team ran away and the cereal was sowed
it through the end board of the wagon.
A Pittsburg coroner makes no charge
here he sits on a young man who parted
Is hair in the middle. He says that his
>rsonal satisfaction is enough without the
o. to
"We are fearfully and wonderfully made,"
i the man, quoting Scripture, said to his
iend as they were looking the skeleton of a
inkey.
A> Texas paper thus defines its position:
[n religion we are conservative, and we innd
to adhere to the cash system."
A Intra ?. J._. f >_
AlW&Jd W MIDO fun uWo 1 lOOK -W t-M T
right side of everything; it is just as cheap
id three times as good for digestion
Men talk about the idle wind, bat the
ind is always busy; and like the cbeerfnl
nner whistles at his work.
We know that a system cqaal to many of
le New England and Northern States is
lpossible at present; time alone can only
ing a school system into a state #of almost
election.
''Mother did you bear Sissy swearing ?"
Vo, my dear, what did she say ?" "Why,
ic said she wasn't going to wear her darned
actings to church."
The following is a copy of a notice dis .
nyed in a field near South London: "Laes
and gentlemen are requested not to
;al turnips. Other persons detected will
i prosecuted.
The California mines are queer places ?
Golden State reporter heard "the growl
a bear, the howl of a wolf, the voice of
ayer, the cry of a child, and the clash of
iwie knives" from one gulch.
I I?~* 1. <>?%il flfdaw .1 Aion in At oinn
*1 MH'tiu-i aim j uunu muv,
ilh prei>ared fur college, and both passed
o examination for admission to the Colby
niversity, and then the big, mean boy
felared that if his sister was going, he
isn't.
' I am afraid dear wife, that while I am
me absence will conquer love." "Oh. ueir
fear, dear husband; the longer you stay
ray the better I shall like you."
A lady wished aseat. A portly, hardn?e
gentleman brought one and seated the
dv. "Oh ! you're a jewel," said she. "Oh,
v' he replied; "I am a jeweler. 1 have
ist set the jewel."
"The wind's getting round," remarked
ibbs to his friend lluggius the other day.
hen it changed from east to west. "(Jlad
'it," replied Hugging, it's been sharp long
inugh."
o.T.ilm " Haiti a dotiii'T narent to her iror
auditing son, "do you realty think you can
it the whole of the pudding with inipuuy
V' "I don't know, uia," auswered the
)ung hopeful; ''but I guess I can with a
>oon."
Forward and hkjtiaciou.s youth?"By jove,
?ti know, upon u>y word, now?if I were to
'C a ghost, you know. I should be a chatterliot
for the rest of my life !" Ingenuous
aiden (dreamily)?"//??r you seen a
host?/'hhi/i.
A Western farmer, it is reported, refused
i l.mk at a simple sewing machine recently,
. he always "sewed wheat by hand." He
said to l*e related to the man who did not
ant a threshing machine on his farm; "for,"
>id he. "give me a harness-tug or a barrelave.
and I can make my family toe the
iark according to law ana ncnpier.
"That's where the hoys fit for college,"
ihl thaprofesaer to Mrs. Partington, poinig
to a school house. "Did they?" said
le old lady with animation. Then if they
t the college before they went, they didn't
lit afterward? Yes said he smiling and
ivnrinjr the conceit: hut tins fight was with
lie h< a>l not the hands Putted, did tTiey?
aid the old lady.
*
- m