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I ...-, r * ' . i r/ t .. '* ' :': ' " . ..: -..^;.c*>*:;M* jggggggH!. jbgMggggg- *m i I I HHHBSgSBgBBgggBBBgl ,1 I BHBggggBggqBgHgg i * ast 1 * - gape _j i i '. ' ' VOL. XXXII. CAMDEN, 8. C., THURSDAY, AUGUST 284 1873. NO???. I mil I ? - ? - ... ~ ? Bgg lrll* fl ggg^M? r . * - * " ? TflE CAMDEN JOURNAL. AN INDEPENDENT FAMILY PAPER MNTtnr icupn nv ri'nijutibi' M * JOHN KERSHAW. lit i i - . ? SUBSCRIPTION RATES One year, in advance $2 50 Six months 1 50 Three months 75 gjp Transient Advertisements must be paid in advance. CLB3AKI8M -From Hsrper'-s Weekly, August 16. The discussion that is goiug on in the . newspapers on the subject of General Grant's second re-election is at lease (premature. Barely six months of his second term have elapsed. It will be extraordinary, if, during the next three year3, men's minds do not drift into new channels and popular fauoy does not crayc new idols. Few, indeed, of our Presidents have retained their popularity throughout their first term of office. But two of the six. who, before Grant, were re elected were ever though of for a third term. If Mr. Lincoln had lived and carried into successful effect his scheme of ratification the '. question might perhaps have arisen in his Rut no one tbsuffht of Dressing the name of either. Madison, or Monroe, or Jackson for a third nomination. Indeed, it has eotne to be almost an axiom in party politics that, in the absence of such extraordinary qualifications as were possessed by Lincoln' and Grant, the weakest nomination that can be . * .. made is that of the President in office. He has not only to contend against the public belief in the principle of rotation in office, which may or may not be sonnd and wise, bat is certainly widespread and deep-rooted, bat, however he may have administered his office, her most have displeased five professional politicians for one he has gratified, and he ia thus certain to encounter a lukewarmness, if not an active hostility, among _ . the chieffi of his party, which more than than counterbalances, the eopport he can command from the Custom House, the Poet -? ? 11? _ n , L U*ce and tnemternai ne venue l'epartmcnt. L On general principles, then, it is not worth while, at present, at least, to regard what the newspapers call "Craarism" as a practical question. But it may not be wholly frivolous to look at it ftw a moment as a matter of curious spfemlatton. Nothing in the constitution .precludes the re-election of the same-man to the Presidency for an indefinite number of teruw. In the original draft of the constitution the President was elected by congress for'a term of seven years, and was not re-eligible. In the constitution as amended by the Grand * Committee, and finally adopted, the President - is elected by Presidential.electors for four years, and bis rights, as to re-election are the same as those of other citizen*. Washington at the close of his sedond term apprised his fellow citisens that he "declined to be considered among the number of those out of whom the choice of a President was to be aiMKle," and added that ^the^ acceptance <? uniform sacrifice of inclination to the opinion of doty." He evidently considered himself eligible, and had his "inclination" been different woald have seen uo objection to a third term. Nor did Mr. Jefferson, when urged to become a candidate for the third tune by various bodies of citizens and by the I.*oi>lntiirAa of Vermont. New York. New Jersy, Pennsylvania, Maryland. Virginia and Georgia. *He declined partly on the ground of growing infirmities and partly from deference to the example sot by Washington. In faot, Mr. Madison's succession had souie time before been settled between the President and his supporters. There is nothing in the writings yf Jefferson or his contemporaries to show that either he or they thought a third tenh would have involved a violation of the principles of democracy or menace to . * republican institutions. So far as the constitution and the opinions of its framers arc concerned, then, a third Presidential term seems free from objection. The bugbear called "t'aesarism" is rather a sneer than an argument. If the President can be elected thrice, it is said by the ardent patriots who see a coming Caesar in General Grant, why not four, five, or six times, or for life ? Why not, indeed, if the people say so ? If a elear majority of the people vote to abolish the Republic and set up an 1 i 11 a 9 OL ,11 empire wno snail ninacr mem: onau we, then, go into hysterics in advance ? If the people choose to-morrow to establish Mormonism or human sacrifices we don't see who could say them nay. Vet our wives and children need not distress themselves quite yet. Before wo believe that 40,0OU,O0ft of people afe gniug to be false to their traditions and to deny their principles some evidence innat be brought. There must he somo facts going to show a change of mind, some obvious signs of a distrust in free institutions, some well-marked indications of a leaning to monarchy or imperialism. Now, the fact is, there is nothing of the kind. Probnbly there never was a time when the general faith in our institutions was as firm as it is pow. It would certainly require something more than the re-election of a good .. niutrnfn tn nfSsA t/h nrnvA ita ilrw*utr Kul I illO^invivxv "f ? f"" * "? this ghost ol Cmsarism has haunted us throughout onr brief history. Mr Jefferson detected it in Mr. Adams' well brushed peruke and handsome liveries. Freneaut Guiattr discovered it distinctly in Hamilton's soporous periods and foreign reminiscences It lurked behind Jackson's imperious commands. Poor Jenkin9 has had several glimpses of it on the beach at Long Branch. Washington, his starting common sense, used to say that there were not ton men worth listening to in all tho oountf| who were in favor or monaroby. If Gtearism was clinch minute dimensions then, when the ltepublic Was on experiment, what must its proportions be now, when tho United States is one of the great Powers of the world, and ail Kurope is trying to build on its model ? A really serious objection tW the third term plan the bias it would give to the President's ponfT before and during the canvass It canot be e*5p?^ted of any President that he should be inu'.'fferent to the result of a contest in which he is the standard bearer of his party. In practice the policy of a President, while running for re-election, has been too often shaped in order to win votes rather than serve the beat interests of the country. His foreign policy is apt to be more aggressive than it would be after election. Measures of domestic policy are likely to be cansidered more with a view to their immediate effect upon the minds of the people than in the light of the permanent advantage of the commonwealth. Unpleasant duties are not apt to be shirked. Offences committed by popular men controlling votes are frequently overlooked. Acquiescence in the follies of the hour is often feigned. Few Presidents, pending a canvass, wpiild surrender a Mason and Sildell or suppress a Fenian outbreak. Sopie would even go so for as to justify an Ostend manifesto or the bombardment of Grevtown. Hardly any could refuse to reward desertion from the enemy or extraordinary efforts in the ranks with office. These objections, it will be noticed, apply with equal force to a second term as to a third, and in practice a President must have extraordinary claims to have a chance of either. On the other hand, it has hardly possible to exaggerate the importance to the country of retaining the services of a faithful aud experienced magistrate. The United States have not always been fortunate in their chief rulers. They have discovered that Presidential elections, like marrriages, are a lottery. They have sometimes drawn rather queer lota therein. Tn times past, when the country was small and isolated from the rest of the world, these accidents mattered little. 3fen blushed for the President, and contained their souls in patience till his four years expired. But the progess of events, and our present rank as a first class Power, have changed all this, we cannot afford now to have & blunderer or a blusterer in the Chief Magistracy of the Republic. It is vital, that the Presidency should be held by a safe man. Small etrors and weakness we can well overlook and forgive. But we cannot afford to make any more experiments?to elect men to the Presidency who may turn vltA col'o nf naronnnl yuv IICM, VUV ffHV, ?V! ? I?w W j.? ? renown, may involve us in foreign wars, or rekindle the dying embers of domestie strife. We can bear with much for'tbe sake of as- J sored peace and safe government. It is hard to say what price we could not afford to* pay ' rather thao elect anothor Buchanan or 1 Johnson. ' * 1 H " ' ' ' ' , 1 A Reporter's ReMINISCNCES.?At the 1 annual dinner of the Law Stenographer's Association of this city, Mr. Iienry M. Parkhunt, ioireeponding to a toast, said : ' Looking back over a professional career now ex- 1 i- - * ?w?im utHiijr pi"?' fing incidents crowd upon my memory* I remember the fourth of July excursion to Mnrshfield to listen to Daniel Webster.? Seated with him in the rear of the car, when the coupling broke, and the locomotive with the rest of the train dashed on without us, I j remember consoling myself with the reflec- ( tion tuat wnerever tne rest 01 tne auaience might be, whatever Daniel Webslor might say, I should be there to hear and report. ^ There is a curious circnmstauco connected with that Marshfield speech. It was repor- j ted independently by Dr. Stoue and myself, anL either of ns could at that time have ( written nearly or quite 150 words per minute. While the words agreed almost literally in every other respect, there was an apos- j trophe to Lord Ashburton, oooupying two or | three lines, which we gave in entire differ ent language. The reason waS this: Web , stcr broke out so suddenly and so rapidly in that apostrophe, that I almost dropped my * pencil in astonishment'and lost the comi* M n rii J.A.J inencement 01 it, wnue vr. otone uasncu ( on until be broke down, taking the first part ( of it. In the meantime I recovored my ( equanimity, and took the last part. So that { although the ordinary rate of speaking was ( less than one hundred words, there were oc- ( easions where he largely exceeded one hundred and fifty words per minute. I remember the manuscript handed me by Hnfus j Ohoatc, from which he had read a brilliant political speech which I had been called upon to report, because no printer could reud that manuscript; and being compelled to throw it aside, after vainly attempting for half an hour, with the aid of my notes, to discover from which end of that manuscript he had began to read. I remember, in the Senate of the United Slates, the dying speech of John C. Calhoun; the Compromise speech of Henry Clay; the boast of John P. Hale, that the Free Soil party had doubled in numbers, because at the previous session there was but one, and now thcro were two; and I remember seeing the now South Carolina Senator, Barnwell lthett, perhaps not on the same occasion, burying himself in a newspaper, lest he should appear to be lis- I toning, but soon overcome by the eloquence of Mr. Hale, first laying down the newspaper 1 and finally removing his soat for a more favorable location. 1 renu mber the grave an- j nounccnicnt of Daniel Webster to the Sen- ' ate. when President Tyler lay at the point < of death, that " digestion of the brain had < commenced." I remember the scene when ' Senator Footc stood near the President's . chair with a drawn pistol, wailing the attack of Senator Benton, who, drawn behind a ! desk and held there by four stalwort Wos torn men, two on either fide, thrust them al[ j asid by ono vigorous motion, and called upon tho a&aassin to fire; and [ remember Jeffferson l)avis, a little nfter midnight on 1 the ^morning of the 4th of March ndvnn- 1 cingto the President's desk and doinanding to be sworn into the new Congress upon the ground that the sitting Congress had expired, kicking a spittoon out of his way with the sauio impetuosity with which he afterward kicked tho Constitution itself out of his way when he desired to bo sworn ont." X, V. Time. A eotton factory is about to be erected in Sumter. Mr. A. W. Suder i? the agent. Is it Wioked to Be Amused I This matter is more or loss earnestly do- i bated by various religious bodies. Sometimes their scruples are purely fanatical, and Some- , times again tbey are coupled with very just ( apprehensions. There isa a great complaint ( made concerning Americans that they hare , so few recreations. There is. or rather was, a good deal of justice in it. It is not an edifying* spectacle to behold a man of bnsi- *, ncss at a. summer resort, fidgeting and fret- , ting through all hours of the day, except , when he can get his city morning paper, or engage a similarly-minded acquaintance in 1 talk about money-making. But the tide has turned the other way of late, and various dc- ; vices, from the gentle clicking of wooden ] balls on the croquet lawn, to the Berce ex- ', citement of the race-course, have been e&? | geriy sougtu after. me one evil innuence which seems to be creeping into all American , amusement is its tendency to promote gam- , bling. We do not advocate horse-racing; but tbo thing itself, the mere trial of speed ( between high-bred and daintily-trained hninials is not itself absolute sin. Still less is _ there deep depravity in yacht sailing^ or canoe racing, or boating, or base-ball, or, cricket. Why, then, most these b? tainted , by the insane passion of winning another . person's money. Is it not possible to have , anything at which one may look on* with | sympathy and enjoyment, without the dis- , ftgroeablc thought the direputnblc and the , vicious are turning it into a mere pool-selling, swindling, betting conoern 7 Privato betting ] cannot be stopped.' That every one knows/ j who knows anything about the mania for | gambling which pervades certain clavses.? , But there can he auch management and con- , trol of any public amusement as to confine the betting to those who, having no morals , to be injured theroby, can only rain them- , selves. I We object utterly to that sort of licensing j and toleration of toe sin whieb admits it into j any society calling itself decent. If a man , with depraved tastes wishing to indulge in ] dog-fighting, he has now to go down into the | society of the depraved to gratify his morbid , desires. Bnt if it were allowed to come out , of its filthy and disreputable dens, presently ( that would bo creeping into popular favor ] and find its advocates, until it became, like theySpanish bull-fight or the English prizering, as it once Was, a national institution. It is kept where it is by the force of law, backed by a. righteous public sentiment. We believe that gambling over public amusements might be put down to the hhuiiv ^ low )a,'of Of "Olliiii. JB - <*' meat should be upheld of which the tendency is questionable. But that is more thancan be hoped for, and the only way is to make things that it will he in spite of all that can be said as little hurtful ns possible. For instance, the practice of pool-selling has been encouraged to a very reprehensible exLent by the secular preF.-. No decent newspaper, which is taken in Christian families \ has any business to publish details which are , aimulv temptations to the vounir. There is , & great outcry by oortain journals, and they ( deserve all honor for it, against immoral , literature. They also have very unexcep- j tioual homilies against business dishonesty. t [t is hardly in keeping with the sermon in 2 leaded type on the editorial page, to print in finer type such devils' litanies as the"record of the various pools gild, and the chronicle ( af the betting at the great summer racing meetings. We do not expect the secular ( journals to be critically nice in nil their scrv- ( ing up of items for public curiosity. But f we do not wonder at the assurance which in cue and the same issue lushes an unhappy y cashier who has misused the funds entrust- , ed to hiui, and also informs his yet uncon- j taminuted brethren how and where to hud j ipporluiiity for the same sin. What we r complain of iu these journals is, that they ire lending their aid, and that (he mure powerfully because of their high and not tin[bunded protcusions, to make legal and re j pectablc that which law and morality alike ondemn. ^ This is a matter within their control.? r There is pleasant reading in the letters of e uiuimer correspondents of the daily journals. t NTo one is disposed to exact a pulpit nseeti- j v cism from the light and graceful sketches I '| if watering-place ways. Jtut they have m> L more right to montiou one form of vice than i , mother, especially when by so duing they I Jirectly pander to its spread I Wo lately rend a very clever and powerful English novel, whioh turned upon this verv vice of gambling upon t he races, and which [ xpooed (he deep-seated and wide-spread iuiiju^ty of the system, Play u|?>n the turf is had enough in its acknowledged habitudes. | Where men, with money of their own to throw away, choose to waste it in dealings with their equals, and where there is a certain rude code of honor cont rolling them, it is vicious and miserable as well it may he. Hut autside of this, there is in Kngland a great; | urea of outer darkness,?of inere nubridieu rascality. It is promoted and sustained by I just tlieso devices, against which we now ( inveigh. Hy them the unwnry are entrap- j ped. All the silly, half-fledged boys, the , young clerks, shopmen, and the liko, who t are led to roh their employers, and to invest t in turf-lot (cries, are tempted by these.? i They know very well that they cannot enter ( the betting ring against the great players ; 1 that the carthcm pots stand a small chance ( against the brazen ones, and that to try it | would reveal to parents, guardians and eui ployers whut t hoy were about, lint tsmpta* i Lion comes to thein iu theso more limited i ways,?temptation that professes to avoid t publicity; the worst and Dascst form it can take. We have no words strong enough to con- .? demn the attempt to foist this nuisauco upon 1 American amusements. Those who are de- c tcrmined to gamble, ought to be eonipellcd j to gamble without the opportunity to make victims of the innocent and foolish: 'We suppose that many will ' patronize" races, who will give.a certain air of "respectability" to them. Certainly, to see such things as college regattas, the lovers of athletic and noble exercise will go, as they did the other day to Springfield. Therefore, such owe it to their own respectability that the vice wbioh creeps after the skirts of such amusements shall be rooted ont, or, if that be impossible, shall be kept in its place. The charm of the regatta the* other day was its perfect freedom in itself from all complicity with the gambling spirit; yet there were wishes uttered that another year might see it transferred to some spot where the gamblers might have.their own way with it. If this should, unhappily, be done, there would he tho strongest reason for every academic faculty to interpose, and put an end to the contest, even nt the risk of destroying a i^reat and, in the main, salutary institution. No amusement ia strong enough te bear the xtiurn of complicity with vice.? Churchman. The Wife of Gen. Jaokaon. Wo have frequently beard the question lsked, "Who was the wife of Gen. Jackson?" uid as frequently found no one able to answer it. It seems not to be well understood that one of the Presidents of the U. States married the wife of anothor man, was twice married to the same woman, and that that President was no less a personage than the hero of the battle of New Orleans. For the information of those who may be curious on he subject, we give .the following explana lion of tbis marriage, gathered from the history of the time: ^ General Jackson having determined to make tho Neighborhood of Nashville his permanent home, became a boarder in the futuiiy of Mfs. Donelson, the widow of Col. John Donelson, an emigrant from Virginia. Mrs. Rachel Robards, her daughter, who after-1 wards became the wile of Jackson, was then living with her mother. This lady was celebrated for her beauty, affability and other ittraetions. Her husband, Capt. Robards, was a man of dissolute habile and jealous Reposition. A separation took pbee, and Robards applied to the legislature of Virginia for a divorce; soon after intelligence was received that tho petition had been granted. Mrs- Kobards was then at Natohes, )n the Mississippi,and Jackson considering .hat she was free to form a new oonnexion, in the summer of 1791 weut down to Natchn, paidf her his addresses and wss accepted, ttrlliu mn till1) were mamru ami retnmew ? tho Cumberland, whore they were cordialy received by their mutual friends. In December, 1793, Jackson learned for <i... i ? 'lie uini> viuiu iiiubinc licuiomtui m sji v iigmia lid not grant a divorce, out only authorized i suit for a divorce in a Kentucky Court, rhich had just hewn brought to a successful stsue. Surprised and mortified at this information, on hi? retnrn to Nashville in Janlary, 1794, he took out a license and was igain regularly married. His conduct in his affair was considered by those familiar vith the circumstances, correct, honorable ind consistent with trne morality. He found hat an error bad been committed, und he it ouce corrected it.?MnrUntro' Tim'*. Waqnf.r's Experiments.?The London Hobe says: "One of the great events in the nusicnl world will be n trial of Richard Wagicr's curious experiment at Hayreutb. Any inc who has had the go.nl fortune to witness opresentations of 'Lohengrin' or 'Tannhaujit ' th?? Munich Oner* Hnnse rnn form mine idea how grand mast be the performnice designed even to eclipse them. The eputation of tho composer of 'Lohengrin' kis unfortunately in this country become a natter of dispute before the majority of the lisputant* have even had an opportunity of orming an opinion on the question. His idinirers and opponents have approached he subject of music in a spirit of partizanhip; and unhappily, a party name has been liscoverod. It was ono of Wagner's admiers who coined it in the expression 'mimic f the future;' ther??is no doubt he damaged he judgment of 'that large crowd of such rho think too little and talk too much.'? Phe Bayreuth theatre is to be built for the pccinl representation of the composer's opens, and it is advancing rapidly toward* oinpletion. The up|>eals which have been nade tbroughout Germany, chiefly in the orm of concerts organiied by Wagner, and llustrating selections from his works, have ilready resulted in a fund of one oundrcd and orty thousand florins. The festival will mt be held next year, as had been announed and was eagerly expected. The 'King .f the Niebelungen' will not be toady for icrlbrmance before the summer of 1875, It - uudersto d that it is no lack of funds or mtronage that loads to this delay, but that j lio difficulties which tho comuoscr has set limself to surmount in the selection of his irtists and the composition and training of is orchestra arc almost insuperable. One ?f Wngner's fiivojite theories is that the msition of the orchestra between tho audi:nce and the stage is most trying, both to In? singers and listeners. The artist^ on he stage have to send their voices out ovei lie instruments, and the appearance of the uchestra itself cannot fail to break illusion. Whatever may be the judgment of postcriy in regnrd to Wagner's music, it is to be ifiped the present generation will bo able to ippreeiate the great service he will have endured to tho representation of the opera n foreign capitals, and perhaps, after tho .ceossni v delay, in ours. "What do I think of London, ask ye?'" aid an old Stirling worthy, on being asked lis opinion of the great metroplis "Whai lo I think n't? It's just a lump of good ground spoiled with stanc and lime." \ Story of the Great Diamond. There are many contradictory ' rumors afloat recording the precious stone owned by the Shah. Mr. Greenville Murray, the able Paris correspondent of the Herald, assures us that, as a matter of fact, the jewels worn by the Shah are not of much value. It is more than doubtful if he has a dozen diamonds, of anvsize, of pure water and free from flaws. He has some Jarge cracked emeralds, and some large stones of divers sorts and colors; but the principal jewol, whioh belonged to his ancestors, was stolen at the close of the last century by one Manouk, an Armenian merchant, who had advanced money upon it,; It now sparkles in the impe rial sceptre ot Russia. mis luanour, who iH ancestor of the present wealthy and respectable Prince Manouk bey, of Bessarabia, having got hold of one of the biggest precious stones in the world, was frightened ont of his wits lest he should be murderc1 because of it. It weighed no less than one hundred an^ three carats, or one ounce, twelve pennyweights and four grains troy ; that is to say, far more than* the Pitt dia- 1 mond or the Koh-i noor at its present size. 1 Manouk kuew very well that his life vfaa not safe for an instant while he was known to | have this treasure in his possession, so he gave ] out that' he was dying and took to flight in the dress of a beggar. In this guise he made the best of his way toward the Russian fron- ; Knf foarflil ofhpfn<y rohhi?d ?vi>n of finch rags as ho had, he cut a hole in tlslog and bnrled the diamond in his living flesh, t binding filthy and sordid ings over H.? Tho ' Empress Catherine II. offered for the din- ' mond, when he reached Bosnia. ?103.166 13n. 4d., besides an annuity of ?1,041 13s. i 4d., which Mao auk refused. It wan afterwards sold to Catherine's favorite, Carrot Orloff, for the flat mentioned son, without the annuity, and Was by him pwanted? to the Knpwss on hot birthday in 1772 ?' Moreover, although the Armenian, Manouk, did not get hpi annuity, he get something better, nod made a shrewd bargain. He obtained the oonoeasioo to an hnmeoM tract of corn land in Bessarabia, and now that the railways of Southern Russia hare been opened, his descendants are among the richest wheat producers in the world. The title of prince, after souie dispute, has .Keen recently conceded to them by the Russian Government. The Tribune says that something must be done to facilitate the the transportation of frei?fc> the ^ffost and thscAtttn' Tic seaboard is universally admitted. Ofihe various projects that hare been suggested, one of the boldest is that which is designed to commit the Federal Government to the hnilding and control of a freight rail road. Such a plan was introduced and discussed, the other day, at a meeting of the business men of New York who are immediately interested in)solving the problem of rapid and j cheap transportation by rail. The insnper-' able difficulty in scouring quick time for l freight trains, as the roads are now organ- j ized, is the fact these must wait for the fro- j qucnt transit of passenger .trains. It has been proposed to add double tracks for the exclusive use of freight. Having the fear of consolidated monopolies before their eyes, some of the heavy customers of the railroads favor a Government ownership of snch channels of transportation. The need is a crying one; bat a government railroad would be a dangerous experiment, as well as an anomalous undertaking. j r " 1 There is a model old man described by a } Veoria newspaper. He hasn't taken a bit of ] care of himself. He chewed tobacco sixty : ? A . ?. TT ? at 1 O years, ana got lat on it. lie aranic nara tor j twenty-five years, and got younger every day. ] ITis eyesight is so good that he reads his ! newspaper by moonlight through u microscope inverted to make the type small enough for his peculiar vision. He walks every morning fonr miles for his drinks before 1 breakfast; he chops a cord of wood between t each meal; he has tried to die of old ago b thirteen times, and failed every time. He c attends to the wants of an old and feeble ? grandson, and superintends the fhnerals of his posterity with groat care and decency. j f American "humorists" are uot always re- \ eeived with open arms in England, as the ? following front Figaro bears witness: "Eli t Perkins," who is a "hnmorist," resident in ' New York, has fallen into the singular hahit 4 of writing to tho editor of this paper letters which begin familiarly and end affectionately. Ho is good enough to send his photograph, a J quantity of laudatory?shall we say self-lau- ^ datory ?notices of a book he seems to huvo ^ written, and certain newspaper cuttings, ^ which have a curious way of beginuing thus: 44 4 Kli Perkins' says," otc. In one of his let tors ho says : "11" you would like a good tiling now and then let me know." We feci that we s have uot uiorited thin kindness from an utter t stranger, but will defor our thanks until "Eli q Perkins" conies to London to givo a course of " lectures, which, it must bv this time be ob- ? vious to the reader he is about to do. <i An exasperated Bostonian is rushing around with an unshaven face and demand- ? ing jo know if these women will never loam g anything. The slight cause for all his men- f tal disturbance is found in tho fact that one j of his daughters had used ono of his razors to out maple sugar with, and anoChcr had j taken its mate to sharpen her load pencil with, while his wife had rondered his shaving j brush somewhat too stiff for its original purposeby using it in glueing some broken f\ir. niture. I "Is it proper to advertise 'wire dog mds" < zlo,' or 'wiro muules for dogs'?" is. a query i which disturbs the sleep of a Troy reporter ! . % V,' : ' , ? . * . ADVERTISING RATSB. 1 M. IS. iK. ??. > ? ? ? III 1 1 squ*re 8 OQ 0 00 8 Oft 12 0(1 la'* 2aqaarta 6 00 9 00 12 00 16 0(26 00 3 cquireff 9 00 If 00 16 00 26 8C <6 00 ftoqaarea 12 00 16 00 20 00 80 0( 4# 00 , . * i column 16 00 19 00 24 00 MOO 80 00 1 column 20 00-8000 40006640 80# r . . lctlama 80 00, 60 001 60 00] 90 08(160 06 All Transient Advevtiae*fc?ata will be ofcarged Qbr Doilar p6r Square for Che tnl %at 8tra?ft-v iva Carta per Square for each wefceeqttfcft insertion Single iniertion, $1*50 per sqaore. gggggggg II . I'BBrf?*$00' ' OTJR OHEP-BASfflET. Canadian cricketers are proving teo'iWi%/ for thoee of the mother country. Mr. Bailey, of Doabury, son: "I -do not * lecture myself : I am mamea!" That waa a very mean thing of* man hi . Chicago, who borrowed $200 fiom ik wfitft m/1 ticiil 4fin mAhaw Saw 'Vifcla in iq A . UUU U0VVI VKO ?IIVUVJ IN irmwww^ WVSW* "Oh, 'MV said a little giri who fa*to* to the show, "I've mod the elephant ui In walk's backwards and'eata with his tail." ' A Cincinnati brewer's wife papered her trunk with coatljr keg revenue stamps, and the brewer is in jail for the way he took on about it. A wise man being asked how eld he WM, replied, "I am in healthand being aidced how rich he was, "I so* not in debt." Love matches are often formed by people who pay for a monthof honey with a ne of | vinegar. . * ' * "A eacckling old newspaper fowl," is the. * epithet applied by one Sacramento editor te : , another in a recent argument. . Why are your eyes like friends separated by distant climes ? They correspond bat do . aot meet. Mark Twain modesily'deniee thathe htfce :> man alluded to in the line, HukOepwMt MUl," t* > " i ^ - P A printer was boasting the othet day about his wonderful ability to set type.' "I kaow what you can't set," said a comrade. ' What is it?" "Two hens on out ami." "Oh! George, your sister is a nice girl, hot she doss dress her head up so I" "Yes," ? *' * * said George, "hut it's the fashioa?there's nothing in it, you know." The antique and let moyent ages-are the ruling styles in all articles is household furniture except wires. Strange to say, ta this latter particular, the rule is, the more modern the srtiele the better. Why are printer's bOli, these times, Hfco faith ? Because they an the fmbstaues of things hoped for, the erideneo of Chiig?Mt seen. The negro who van htogsd as flotfelk, . + VTa. on the 20th of Jane, remarked, fshe wae ' >. going to the gallows: "IwishdeyhidMt.it > afr till after Watermelon time." ' A Josh Billing^ says that ^The Hon a?d ^ the boo kubb to get up the lamb will bw missing." . A citizen of Connecticut, recently introduced to a newly married man congratulated him warmly and said: ?'Ah, these Litchfield girls make fine wives; I've had three >f 'em." Because a man worth $60 000 took a fancy to and married a barefooted Indiana girl, the rest of the Hoosier maidens prowl round the country with mud sloshing up >etweeo their toes, looking for well-dre?ed . . Grangers. A startling tombstone was erected to the nernory of Tabitha, beloved wife of Joseph Wright, Thomas Andrews, Eben Halsted, Sdwia Murrav and Cyras Dean, by her derated husband, Cyras Morgan." "Well, Giles, whatdoyou to say Gladstone, iow ? He's a man of his word isn't he?" jrilee?"Ah that be so, sur, sure enough, ffo said he'd put us farmers on our legs, and. le's done so, too. I mind the time I ai'ys md a nag to ride on, sod now?well now, I u?? to foot it." gentleman who was introduced to a roung lady, reoently, addressed her as folows: "Where do you live when you are at tome?" To which she promptly replied. 'When I am at home, I live there." A colored preacher iu translating to hia learers the sentence, "The harvest is over, he season is ended, and thy soul is not laved," pat it, "De oorn has been cribbed, lere ain't any more work, and de debbil is itill fool in' wid dis community. * , Ivan Turgenieff, in his novel, "Dimitri Houdine," has not a few good sayings of vhich we clip the following: "It is true a roinan did offend me," continued Pigasoff, 'and yet she was a good, a very good wo-nan." "Who was it?" "My mother." Your mother ? How could she offend you ?" 'By briuging me into the world." Fan Language.?Fan flwt?I am independent ; fun slow?I am engaged; fan with ight hand in front of the face?come on; in with li.fr. hand in front th? faco?Iaiva nc; open and shut?kiss mo; opon wide?love ne; open half?friendship; swinging the fan -can I sec you home f shut?hate. A fussy old man having tfut his finger, ent for a physician, who after examining he wound, requested his servant to raw as |uick as posssible for a certain plaster. (<0, ay !" cried the patient, "is the danger so ;reat?" "Yes," was the reply, "if the fellow lon't run fast, I'm afraid the cut will be well cforo he gets back." An overcrowded Michigander has discov red the bent way of getting rid of his offpring. Ho drove his wagon, consisting of k Michigooee and ton or eleven MicMgoeings, over a hr.ndred mile of territory, dropking pne out over the tailboard every few nilcs. He drapt the old critter in a creek and vent back home the best divorced man in lis State. An eccentric old fellow, who lives along tide of a graveyard, was asked if it was not in unpleasant location. No, said ha, I never jined plaoes in my life with a set of neighbors that minded their business so itiddy as they do. ' " |v ',v it