The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, July 31, 1873, Image 1

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VOL. XXXII. CAMDEN, S. 0?? ? JULY 31. 1873 NO. 48. a \ ' ( i : ' >i i _j THE CAMDEN JQUMAL AN INDEPENDENT FAMILY PAPEB PUBLISHED BY JT OHN KERSHAW. SUBSCRIPTION RATES One year, in advance $2 60 Six months 1 60 TIiva* mnntks ........................ 75 Transient Advertisements must he paid in advance. SOWING THE WIND. Who educate American youth ? Teachers of various grades inculcate certain branches of study during a small portion of each day. These often do their best, by dint of ambitious cramming, force utterly indigested and sometimes indigestible compilations of fagts and data upon the memory. But, side by side with these, a great and really educational proocss is going on. It is managed, in part, by an order of literature, so-called, of which wo forbear to speak now in the only terms in which we can speak of it, so false, * so poverstricken and diluted thought as it is, imimnl in the sense of wanting the true principles of moral guidance. It is also managed by a daily press, which, in its absorbing passion for gossip, falsely called news, utterly forgets the classic canon, "Maxima debetvr jmeris," and describes with revolting minuteness the incidents of crime and the horrors of casualty. It is, furthermore, developed by the household talk and the culture of the street. What the former is, must vary with the character of caoh household; but one great law pervades nearly all, tho sentiment of business activity and worldly success on one side, and of emulous display on the on the other. We do not speak without book. We . know what the ordinary strain of converaa. is between men whom one may overhear talking cn railway journeys and in the streets, and we feel but too sadly certain that one - i-? :?!><?<? Mtitliincr t. nincle may listen iuog WIVUVUV ? 0 ennobling sentiment, or an idea which rises above hard, practical, business facts. The great pecuniary standard is the one to whioh both boys and girls are habituated to refor all subjects. What a thing will cost, what it will produce, are the leading questions for the yonng life to be trained in. We do not deny that there is a great deal of sound morality yet let in the land; but it is the wasting though yet .unspent, legacy of the past. It is wasting eapital which is not being increased. AgainsP these influences are, in brief, the power of the high-class literature?neverer widely read-r-the teachings of the pulpit and the Snnday-echool. The power of high-elan literature is lessening, because the demand for it does not increase in proportion to the increase of readers, -and, at its beet, it is strangely mixed with doubtful elements. Very few of the best ipriterii can afford to do their best, iivsspeetiye of immediate popularity, because wary fow en rise abort the sevitude in upon tiwtftitwa] feelingorthe pews toward the ministry. The constant effort is to make preaching only a mercantile business, to estimate the preacher according to his money?i u unuin market: and this is by TBIUC III kiln DVI ncvii ? j ^ all those bodies who have put worship oat of tight, or who regard it merely from the objective stand-point. There is very little preaching.to tho mases who do not oome to hear it. The temptation to every educated minister is to utter his thoughts in that sort of rhetorical short-hand, as one may say, which is understood by those at his own level of culture. It is easier and pleasanter to do tltis, just as it is easier for a scientific man talking lo men of science to use the familiar technology which to the unlearned conveys no ideas, bat which to his own coterie ssves all need of explanation. To translate really high and important thought into plain words which all can take in, is a far harder matter * than one may think, and it is inevitably attended by the exposure of sophisms and the showing up of fallacies, which men not sure of their ground inevitably shrink from Now, when it is remembered that accurate theological thought is not the rale of a great deal at seminary teaching, bat, instead, the loosest eclecticism it will he seen why great mav not be inconsistent with y?r" j blatant nonsense or flimsy sentimentality. Especially is this true where the preacher is set to ntter, not facts of Christianity, bat secondary impressions obtained from those facts. What, then, of the snnday school ? What pat oat of the question the manifold abases which hare erept into it the clap-trap, the bribery, the surface work of which there is so aaoh. We take the plain faet that, just at this point where there is hope for it to do something, the boy and the girl slip away from its influence. They learn to be first aahmed of, and then to ridieule, the principles taoght there. These do not square with the pleasures for which they long, and the practical lessons of the home. They see ?and children are very quick to see?-that their parents hare outgrown the laws laid1 down fbr them. Take habitual disregard for the Lord's Day, the absence of all reverence, in worship or for worship, the jack of any inealcation of respect for those who minister about holy things, and even of the things themselves on the parents' side, and the obild'a mind will soon go over to the stronger part?. The Church is struggling against this; and * ' ? -- laitv awake to ita JllSt ID prupui nou i*s ivo .?.j ?_? weaning and needs, it is enabled to make successful headway. Bat around it is a constant influence to hold it back. A vast proportion of Chorch people are those led toward it by partial conviction, who appreciate one feature or another of its system, but notI the whole, and are therefore not filled with its spirit. Indeed, the work ot the Church needs to be done within, even more than - ? ? ' - kl? ?Uk,? Without. I4t it D6 a one inoruu^mjr ind the aggreeeive external work will follow Rat the motive for doing the work within ahoald be very strong one, and we have striven to pat it in shape by dwelling on the fearful danger to be fonght against,?the training u? ?f * sordid, unreflecting, selfwilled ge nerailon.? Church man. Why are clergymen like brakeinen ? Beoeoae they do a great deal of coupling. Startling Social Reform. To the Editor of the N, Y. Daily Graphic. It has been a subject of much interesting comment here of late years to decide what shall be done with'the surplus female population. When a stranger enters one of our large manufacturing cities ho is immediately struck with the preponderance of the gentler sex. They overflow our factories, fill our streets, and hasten by the score to answer any advertisement for an emploee. Once, the energies of a Massachusetts girl were Kant nn Monrinc a husband : now they are given to getting a living. Once the young men of the Old Bay State turned their attention to agriculture and trade at home, but nowadays they sell out their farms as soon as the old folks are dead, and go West to build railroads and concoct Credit Mobiliers. They do not so much as take a wife with them, but leave the maidens with whom they went hand in hand to school, to live in single loneliness and earn their own living. Thus, year by year, the roll of unmarried women increases, and the prospect for husbands grows more gloomy. Girls that might become radiant through motherhood, grow selfish and soured in mind, and wither and disappear like the leaves of November The native population of Massachusetts lags far behind the foreign, and statisticians grow appalled. Bnt the fanlt is not with the women, bnt is dne to circumstances and perhaps prejudice. * . I use the word prejudice, because I understand there is a movement on foot among the women of Lowell to petition the Legislature ?or, strictly speaking, to present their grievances- -on the subject of matrimony. For some days there have been rumors of this matter flying aronnd the community, and I have been at some pains to tracathem out. Id doing so, I have been strnck with the faot that men and women speak freely now on topics that were tabooed ten years ago. Even the most refined women will talk interestedly and nnreservedly of marriage, love, sooial evil, and all the questions which portaia to the relations of tho sexes. There seems to be a fermentation beneath the surface which will break out before long in an open movument towards larger liberty for both man woman. This is only my surmise; but that it may not appear to be merely a piece of guess work, I send you a copy of the document above montioncd. It is one of the most remarkable papers of the period. It oomes, too. at a strange time, when " rr a j i. City is preparing to accept the high civiliza tion of the East. Yet in this conection it most not be forgotten that a work on polygamy was published in Boston some years ago, and was greeted with words of approval by some of the most eminent men of tho seaboard States, including Mr. George William Curtis, of vour city. The seed then sown Whs a small one, but it appears to have taken root, and circumstances have developed it into frnitago very qickly. The following is a copy of the petition prepared for submission to the State Legislature : Lowill, April?, 1873. To the Honorable the Senate and House of Representatives of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts: The undersigned, citizens of the State, respectfully set forth the grievances under which they sofEar as womeq who arc not permitted to vote, hold any and all offices, and engage in the occupations opened to men, and are otherwise restricted in the opportunity of earning a living and herowith beg your permission to suggest the remedy for these evils, upon which they pray your honorable body to act. The which now governs society says, prac tically, that women should he married, should engage in work at thoir own homes, and should look to their husbands for support. On the other hand, the census shows that it is impossible to cany out this unwritten but recognised law, for the reason that there is a large excess of women in the commonwealth, and many of the men of law ful age are idle, vicious,1 ^competent or other wise unfit "to be the heads of the house holds. Yet your petitioners hold that the matter is not without remedy. Prejudice and custom have decided in favor of restricting the husband to a single wife, yet without justice and authority, as we believe. In the Book which lies at the foundation of all law recognised in this country, there is no injunction against a plurality of wives, while there are many examples thorein recorded in its favor. Men's wives appear to have increased in number in proportion with their flocks and riches. Such a rule even now holds in the land from which tho Christian nations received their religion. Your petitioners have no desire to interfere with the regulations of any existing houseKn? timnlt in nrcscnt tlifiir claims to "? ?, rv r tho marriage state for your respectful consideration. They deem it their privilege and their duty to suggest the aboliton of the law against the marriage of a man to more than one wife, in cases where it is evident that the man is able to suport the additional burden laid npon his resources They are aware that it may take years to remove prejudices, and that thoee who take a second or third nlaee in the household may ho looked upon with disfavor; but confident that their proposed action will ultimately do away with much of ths social evil that aftlcts and dintrews all communities, they are willing to bo the firsf to engage in tho work of this reform Society, which insists that women shall be married and looked to her husband for support, will,after mature reflection, countenance this effort to carry out its laws practically The orStor who chained his audience has been sued for fulse imprisonment. Correspondence of the Yorkville Enquirer. THE CHOLERA. Chattanogoa, July 9th, 1873. Twenty seven coffins in one day! Does that startle you, reader ? Yet this little city is so scourged with that dread disease. Asiatic, cholera, that the undertakers sent out twenty seven coffins last Thursday. Friday, there were fifteen deaths; Saturday, twelve; Sunday, sixteen; Monday, fifteen; Tuesday,ten; and several new cases to-day, up to this writting. < This fearful death-rate has sent a chill through every heart. Business is pretty well suspended. Fully half the population have left the city, and most of the remaining half would if they could. Among the lamented'' dead is John C. (lalltspie, one of the wealthiest and best-known citizens. Men die in four, five and six hours after being taken This is the main roasnu why the disease is so dreaded. People havJ*U horror of the King of Terrors at best, and when he comes with such sudden tread ho iadoubly terrible. There is no time to prpare for death as regards the futuro state; no time to arrange one's business, or hardly to. bid one's family adieu. Death from cholera is so sudden and so terrible that men often forsake their dearest friends who are taken with it, intent only on saving their owu lives. ? j At the Red FTouse here, last week, the; colored dish-washer was taken at four o'clock, ; and died shortly after dark. That night about half the servants left in fright. men wha have faced tempests ot nan ancn bullet** upon a hundred hard-fought fieldsJj will run like sheep when the Asiatic choleiw appears. Bad as the disease has been here, * it wan even worse in Gallatin. There six per ocht.g of tho population died in a month 1 Gal-f latin is in Sumner county, thirty miles north! of Nashville, on tho Louisville road. Tt is aj place of some three thousand inhahitaatal The surrounding country, ftnT fifty miles', in high, rolling, well drained and healthy.- fttH tho town, nor near it, there are no stagnant pools nor sluggish streams. I should judg? it to he fully as healthy a place, in- thai] respect, as Yorkyille. L But the cholera traveled from XnshvilletO J Gallatin on the wings of the morning. Half] the people fled, leaving less than fifteen hrttfoj dred in town. Yet of these fifteen huMfeagfl one hundred and two liave'died ! Aajfedftii fearful death-rate in aepuBtry tawteJiyggn Who will account for it ? Among the country people nhout Gallatin there is a panic. They come to town not at all. When the towns-people go to the country for supplies, bacon for instance, the eountrayman bangs a piece on the gate-post and retires while the purchaser take? it and leaves the ntoney. But despite all precaution, the scourge has spread into the country beyond Gallatin and Nashville, and taken off many, although raging wit h much less violence than in the centres of population. At Nashville the disease is slowly subsiding thn dnilv death-rate varvinir from five 1 "61 / _ -. to twelve. Tbc scattered citizens nrc rcf urn ing, and every train goes in full. The danger in that those who remained throuph it all, livinp' on hard ham and dry benrd, will, with the decline of the disease, po into vegetables with such vim as to raise the death rate apain. This is not the Nashville view. T know; they are all in a high state of hoj.e the e ; but stranger things have happened. Th deaths in Nashville, in June, were about five per cent of the population in the city. This is a very unhealthy exhibit. At Memphis the disease has about exhaust cd itself. It was not half as had there as in Nashville. Indeed, it will take A?ia itself ! toshojr anything equal to the death-rate in Nashville in June With the population re-1 ducod to twelve thousand by flight, there J were near 9cvcn hundred deaths! A New Southern Trunk Lino. Another extensivo railway enterprise en- 1 tered upon some time since under the name of the Southern Railway Security Company, is fast approaching completion, and it will be thrown open for through travel from Xow York to New Orleans about August 1. According to the statements of the officers, the company was chartered and organized f ir thepurpse of uniting and protecting the interests of lines belonging to it, and for the creation of a Southern Trunk Line from New York to tho principal points in the South. Among the companies embraced in the com binntion. arc the Richmond and l>anvilh\ the North Carolina, Atlanta and Richmond Air Line, the Wilmington and Weldon. the Wilmington, Columbia and Augusta, th< Charlotte. Columbia and Augusta, the l-'a.-t Tennessee. Virginia ami tiourpin, the Mem phis and Charleston, the Richmond and IV tcrsburp and Weldon, the North Knstrru. and Cheiaw and I>arlinpU?n Through tlie.se several companies, tin; eefmhiuntinn control in the route from Wushinpt >n to Memphis, the portion between Brist?-1 and Memphis, composed of the Knat Tenn. -see. Virginia and Georgia, and the Memphis and Charles ??i rnili-iin<lii. Two routes controlled by ii diverge at Richmond, Vi?.: me. tfio Rich lnond, Atlanta and New Orleans Air' Line, composed tif the Richmond and I'ativille, (including part of its North Carolina division.) the Atlanta and Richmond Air Line. Atlanta and West Point, Western, of Alabama, Mobile and Montgomery, and the New Orleans Mobile and Texas Railroads, is'the shortest line from Richmond. Vn., to New Orleans. La. The connection is now made rin Augusta. The other, the (Jrent Atlnitic Coast Line, is composed of the Richmond and Petersburg, and Weldon. the Wilmington and Weldon, the Wilmington. Columbia and Augusta, the North Eastern railroad ind connections. The Secretary stales that no At'anta and Richmond Air Line, under instruction, will be finished by August 1. pd trains will run from New York to Atinta in forty hours, and from New York to iow Orleans in sixty hours. The Compay intend to extend their lines westerly, so s to connect with the system of railroads ow in the?coursc of construction in Texas, nd in the autumn to establish their general 0Bce in New York, and to open an emigrant faireau to facilitate the transportation of migrants to the South, and the do.velopcfcent of the country through which the poothern Trunk Line extends. II - Auautta Chronicle and Sentinel. f?# fcxjtouv^t, op tfie Confederate Dead iXP TrTKIR Hg-SHIPMtNT TO RlCHMOXD.? Lrrived, yesterday, by ah early train on the fdrthcrn Central Railroad, in charge of Dr, t tnfns B. Weaver, of Gettysburg, the remains ^ f about rifiO t'onfederate soldiers and officers ) 'om the battle-field of Gettysburg The uad were sent ria Powhattan Steamboat Iine to Richmond, where they will be relived by the Ladies' Hollywood Memorial ganciation, and interred in Hollywood Ccincrv These remains (with tho cxceDtion W a few to bo brought on next fall) comprise JLe remnant of the Confederate dead at Gettysburg?the entire number buried there mving been about 3,400. Dr. Weaver has $Tcn the work of disinterment his personal JUention, and being familiar with the ground, I positive Ju the belief that none have been ft behind. Dr. Weaver's diligence and ftcrgy in the work hre most hightj cornSanded by the ladies of this city andlRich ood, under whose direction lie acted. - It Bsomewhat remarkable that the remains of flRse bravo mon should find their lost restin gQiec just ten years from the time they wera Kled?the battle of (iettysburg having Ken plaeCJrily 1, 2 and 3,1803. ^ Baltimore Gazette. ?The Chxerfiji. Pack?Next to the sunpht of heaven is the sunlight of a cheerful Ke. There is no mistaking it?the bright Be, the mclOodctl bw?w, tlia/iunny smile,, II tell of that which dwells within. Who J not felt its electrifying influMco ? One j EgpV ^ his face lifts us at oiic^kut of the away irom tears ana re",aJ ctcii iwK wiiuiiij uul Vucy Call never enter and abide thore; the cheerful face will put them to shame and flight. It may be a very plain face, but there is something in it \vc feel, yet cannot express; and its cheery smile sends the blood dancing through our veins for very joy; we turn toward the sun, and its warm genial influence refreshes and strengthens our fainting spirits. Ah. thcro is a world of magic in the plain, cheerful face! It charms us with a spell of eternity, and wc would not exchange it for all the soulless beauty that ever graced the fairest form oti earth. It may be a very little faco ; one that wc nestle on our bosoms or sing to sleep in our arms with a low, sweet song; but it is such a bright, cheery face !#The scintillations of a joyous spirit are flashing from ever/feature. And what a power it has over the household ! --Vmn.a it,m- in tnnrlfirnoRS Ulllumj; Cilt II UV.il l. u^vuin ... , love and sympathy. Shadows may darken around ns. hut somehow this little lace cvci shines between, and the shining is so bright that the shadows cannot remain, and silently they creep away into the dark corners where the cheerful lace is pone. It may be a very wrinkled face, but it is all the dearer lor that and none the 1os? bright. We linger nearer it ami gaze ten derly upon it and say, "(iod bless tbe happy face !" We must keep it with us as long n> we can, for hoinc will lose much ol' its bright 11 ess when this sweet face is go ire. And alter it is gone how the remembrance of it purifies and softens our wayward nature When care and sorrow would snap our heart I strings asunder, this wrinkled face looks down : upon us, and tbe painful tension grows light cr, tho way less dreary, and the sorrow lcs.? heavy. flod bless the cheerful face ? Bless it. lie has Mossed it already ; the stamp of heaven is on every feature. What a dreary world this would bo without this heaven-born light and who hus it not should pray for it as Ins daily bread.?P/irrnn/iM/ira/ JuitriHif. A professor of Cornell I'nivcrsity recently published a uituiher of hints as to "What t? do in cases of accident " One of these wa.? as follows: If you choke, pet down on al fours and cough." One of pur neighbors? Woodward?rend this, and determined t< remember it. J>av before yesterday lie wai eating bis dinner alone, and be choked upor a niece of beef. Instantly he got down upoi all fours and began to rough, dust thcr , Woodward came in. and the imprcs sion made upon her by Woodward's extra < nlinary attitude and bis barking was tiini be bad suddenly been attacked with liy?1 ro pliohia. So she first seized the pitcher o water, and -took it from the room. Then slu -- '' *'"> ??!? !<? im stairs li?r I lie mat > 111 "in: ?m i ..\ .. ..j tiry-i. which w; thrown over Woodward 'while Mrs. Woodward and the fnniily sat 01 and held him down. The madder he go tlio more alarmed \v? Mrs. Woodward; one tl;c more he swore and learned at I lie mouth the more she insisted oil the hired girl giv ingan extra turn of the clothes line aroum iii" leg and tying him to the stove. Whet the il ictor came, lie pulled Woodward's am from under the mattress and bled hint, am put fiv-blisters mi hi* feet, and promised t( nunc round in the evening and shave liii head, in order to cup his scalp so as to rclicv Ins brain. When the doctor called that night Woodward had a prize-fight with him in th 1 parlor, and after sending the medical man up to the bath-room to wash the blood fVom his hose and cool his eye, "Woodward went ont to hunt for the Cornell professor. There will be pain and anguish in that institution of learning when Woodward arrives. He means war?to the knife.?Max Adeler. What shall we do with our Daughters??Appropos of Mrs. Livermore's late lecture on tho above important question, the Davenport Democrat thus sensibly makes answer : Bring thein up in the way they should go. f Give them a good substantial common education. . * Teach thorn how to cook a 'good meal of victuals. . - i Touch them how to wash and iron clothes. Teach them how to darn ?tocking9 and few on buttons. V Teach them how to makelbeir own dresses Teach them how to make shirts. Teach them how to make bread. Teach them all the mysteries of the kitchen, the dining room and parlor. Teach them thato dollar is only one handred cents. Teach them that,the more one lives within their income the more they will save. Teach them further one lives beyond their income the nearor they get to the poo house. Teach them to wear calico dresses?aad 1 1 * 1_ - _ (in U IIKC U t^UCKll. Teach them that a round rosy romp is worth fifty delicate consumptives. Teach them to wear thick, shoes. Teach to do marketing Tor the family. Teach them to foot up store hills. Teach them that God made tbcm in his own image, and that no amount of tight laoing will improve the mode., 1 Teach them,every day, hard, practieal?comnion sense. .. * ' -' " Teach them self-reliance. ' ; >\ '' Teach them that a good, greasy mechanic without a cent Isjworth. a dozen oily-pated < | loafers in broadcloth. Teach them to bare nothing to do with in* I temperate and diwojate young men. Teachthini tncli^Joappletrees,go fiishing, cifftivate a garden and driven road, team or farm wagon. Teach them# aocompHihnylrt , nxmey to do ffiftjfr , Veach tli em to regard the morals, not the money of the beaux. Teach them the essentials of life?troth, honesty, uprightness?then at a suitabletime let them marry. Rely upon it, that upon your teaching doJ pends in a great measure the weal or woe of their after life. A Cool Customer.?A man entered a well-known restaurant the other day and i nillmt fnr Ilia fiinnur His firdwrs WfifO of the most elaborate character, and fairly stagi gored the resources of even so noted a res taurant keeper. He lingered long at the i table, and finally wound up with a boitle of l wine. Then lighting a ciagar he had ordored, lie leisurely sauntered up to the counter, and said to the prpprictor : , "Very fine dinner, lnndlord ! Just charge i it to me, I haven't got a cent." "But I don't know you," said the proprie; lor indignantly. "Of course you don't! If you had you i wouldn't have let mo had the1 dinner." "Pay me for the dinner I say. i "And I say I can't. Haven't got the > blunt." "I'll sec about that,/ said the proprietor, ' somewhat furious at the bill. Then he i snatched u revolver from a drawor, and leaped over the counter, collared the man, exclaiming as he ]>ointed it at his head: i "Now, sec if you'll get away with that dinner ' without paying for it, you scoundrel." "What is that you hold in your hand?" i said the gctter-away-with-free-dinners draw ing back. ? "That sir, is a revolver, sir." "O! that's a revolver, .is it! I don't care a pin for a revolver. 1 thought it was a i stomach pump." I Mariuace?Get married! Marry, lot i | the risk he what it may; it gives dignity to vour profession, inspires confidence and commands respect. Withn wife the lawyer is more trusty, the doctor more esteemed, tho , mechanic throws the hammer with increas, o<l power, and shoves the plane with a more | dexterous hand; tho merchant gels a better credit?in short, a man without a wife is no , man at all! She nurses him while sick, she . watches for him in health, Gentlemen, get , a wile, a pretty one if you like them best? , a good one when she is to be found?and a , rich one if you can find her pretty and good. Capacity.?A common councilman's wife t paying her daughter a visit at school and in. quiring what progress she had made in her I' education, the teacher answered : ? "Pretty good, madam; Miss is very at ten. live. H she wants anything it is capacity; , for that deficiency you know, we must not i blame tier. t ' No, madam," replied tlic mother ''but I 1 blame you for not mentioning it before. , Her father, thank heaven, can afford his . daughter a capacity, and I beg she may have 1 otic immediately, cost what it may." i - ?? i The conscientious I'ittsbug man promised 1 his wife, the other day, that ho wouldn't J drink another drop so long as lie had a hair * on his head. That very night he had his e head .-haved smooth, and got tight with the proud consciousness of having faithfully kept e his promise. . / p ' >? w - . "U t. T^^S^ER?S^a^S5a^^ Spam. * 1 M. 2 *:? "8? 1 Y. - M - ~ J _ ' 1 square 8 00 6 00 *08 12 00 U 00 M 2 squares 6 00 9 00 12 00 10 00 2000 m 3 squares 9 00 18 00 16 00 24 00 MOO 4 squares 12 00 16 00 20 00 JO OOf 48 0^ 4 column 15 00 19 00 24 00 84 OPT j? column 20 00 80 00 40 00 66 00) MWQmr 1 column 80 00 60 OOj 60 OOj 90 00)160 00, / 1 All Transient Advertisements mill be charged ^ ' r. One Dollar per 8qnere Tor the frst and 8*vi?' Wfc ty-rivr Cents per Square for each eabseqttat^ vfi5 insertion Ningle insertion, $1 60 per sqaet^'^^^ OUR CHIP-BASKET. i, " A leading article?a blind man's dog. The-bone of contention?ibnjfcw bone. - Ijjkr A man of low e x t motion?aoheap dentist.. A "revolutionary movement"?turning a ^ grindstone. Spots on the sun?Freckles on your boy's , face. A quilting party is now styled a "jriaii* . - ^ jubilee. ' W "I believe in rotation'" as the woman qud * when she applied for a divorce. I ll shock yofr as tue farmer said vtitt . fcisetmi* up in hllii , , i " . Never keep your revolver in the sum pocket as -your han kerchief. 'ft? 0 What is it that is higher when. the head . ia off A pillow. * + What goes most against a far nmrV grain** His reaping machine. ^ (Ian a man be said.to leave off old Jiabita when he gets a suit of new clothes. When a man has no mind of his ova. his wife generally gives him a pleoe of hen. Why was Herodiaff daughter like the Fenians? "Because she had a head sent her. Life, according to the Ayabie ptCteih,:is : composed of two parts; that which in peat, v a dream; and that which is to. some, a wish. % , J ? * * tw A lady calls the little memoranda her,,' * butcher sends in with the mnat' "pencilings by the weigh." Why is a fisherman the moet dishonest" when moet sucesful ? Because it is (hen hn hooks the moet fish. dot. i? ti. l.?.... owe UUi) WW ? OJU^IO 1UW7, ? cue Mil" enago of the song. Bauer a light costume. Wind wasn't probaly East that daym He that'haa energy enough to toot'ont a ' vice should go a little further^and jfkttt ?I ?> virtue there. Somebody gives* thia detention rf'toA a where : "A place whet* no YtQlcilllip ever been, and never will W ^ <^|JI| You need not talk too much to get a reputation for sense. One good remark is better than twenty dull or common ones. "Mr. Smith, is your customer Brown a man to be trusted ?" "I know of no one ? more so. He is to be trusted forever; be never pays." If an elephant can travel eight miles an hour and earry his trunk, how fast could be ; go if he had a litle darkey to carry it for . him ? Nine-tenths of the champagne known as Piper Heidsieck' is manufactured in this country from the juice of the luscious dried apple, impregnated with delicious acids. Little Minnie, who hears much discussion about religious radioals and the Radical Club, wbeu asked by her aunt what part of j the New Testament she wanted read to tier, replied, "The story about the radical son." Said n seven-footer to a diminutive specimen of humanity, who approached him threateningly, "If you were to strike me, and I should ajcidcntly find it out, you would be sorry." Adversity exasperates fools, dejects cow ards, draws out the faculties of the wise, 9 puts the modest to the necessity of trying their skill, awes the opulent, and makes the idle industrious. Much may be said in favor of adversity, but the worst of it is, it has ' no friends. A young man in Peoria sought to secure his sweetheart by strategy; so he took her out .for a boat rido and threatened to jump overboard into the lake if Bhe wouldn't marry him. It did not work. She offered to bet him a dollar that he daren t aire id. In the late editorial convention in North Carolina, Capt. Win. Biggs give hia experience as follows: He has been several years conducting a newspaper, most of which had been spent in raising the means of doing ' it. A young follow who was recently committed to jail in Portland, Maine, for assault, sent a pathetic appeal to the judge, in which he said: ' I have only been married two months k I hanto had My Honey Moon yet, this is the first time I ever was in jail or errested. If yon will Consider my case k let me of on a fine I will return to my Darling Wife." The stern decrees of justice were carried out, nevertheless. A mamma in the rural districts lately gave her five-year old hopeful an outfit of fishing tackle. Soon she heard a shout from Willie, and ruuning out found ono of her best hens fast winding up the liue in her crop, whither the hook had already preceded it. Willie, observing the troubled look of his mother. quietly remarked: "Don't worry, mother, I guest* she will stop when she gets to the pole." We reaJ ot' a young woman in Missouri who when a certain good time comes will probably be a member of Congress, Before eloping with the darling of her heart, she had an interview with her father's bureau drawer, and voted herself an increase of back pay to the extent of $1,000. She would have nobly taken more, but there was no more to i take. i . .