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^- ^jv'^ VOL. XXXII. CAMDEN. S. JULY 17, 1873. WO. 46. * . : ' < . .. * THE CAMDEN JOURNAL. ~ AS INDEPENDENT FAMILY PAPER PUBLISFIKD BY JOHN KERSHAW. QfTBOnRTDTrnv 1? ATKS v' * 01/ UOVUll .1 IV*' One year, in'adTance..., $2 T>0 . Six months . 1 00 Three months.. t. 70 teatf Transient Advertisements must be paid in advance. ' % "THE SPIRIT OP THE SOUTH." A Frank Expression op the Opinions op a Norther.vRepurlican?The Evil and tiie Remedy. To the Editors of the Boston Advertiser: Will you permit a few words on the subject of your article entitled "The Spirit of the South," and the series of extracts from Richmond newspapers ? Three months pass_ j .l-J,,..;.,,, ?Viia isiiitor and snriiitr eu in iue OUllkli uuim^ vuib m ...... r c entitle me to speak with some confidence ol the situation there, and I .nay add that my own observations and opinions have been shared and confirmed by hundreds of thoughtful people fYoyi the North, out of the t wentyfive thousand who have visited Florida and the South this last wintor Theso persons, intelligent men and women from all parts of our country, have been largely Republican in politics, anxious for the education and clcva-, tiop of the colored people, and most tenacious of what are called the results of the war. I 1 do not care to offer your readers any South side views or ' copperhead" comments, nor 1 even the political fault-findings of the Democracy. I would have, this question under- ' stood at the North as it has been seen by Republicans?and Republicans only. ] It is a tedious matter to discuss the mens 1 ures adopted for the reconstruction of the South, or to apportion the blame upou ex- 1 * President JohnsonortlfcSouth, or the failure to adopt the wise recommendations of Gover- ' nor Andrew's farewell address. Whatsoever ' . the cause of the muddle which now exists 1 the result is simply horrible. In our desire to protect the colored people from a real or ' supposed hostility of their former masters we I have given the suffrage to them all?most of 1 them hopelessly iguqjaut; we have organized ' them into political leagues; elevated them in ' to positions of high trust, for which they < are deplorably unauited ; and then handed them over in their helplessness to tlfe most ' t corrupt aud incompetent, set of shysters, call- s ed carpet-baggers, from the North, of which { - --- i I it is possible to conoeive. I nave yet to iearu of a single man who has gone from the 1 North to better his political fortunes (who is ( "on the make," as they themselves tell you,) ] who has any real, earnest desire to help the j colored people or the community in which > he lives. One of these carpet-hag politicians, * in reply to a question of mine upon invest- 1 - meats, remarked that he "wasn't fool enough f to invest in the Sonth; when he had made his pile he should leave the d d con- * . cern." t It is impossible for Northern people to un- 1 derstand the terrible corruption at the South, J - which is still kept uiive by a careless or de- i " pai-fthUfrmiui puliwoar in- - fluenceat Washington. We have organized 8 society at the South upside down. Ignoranco '? and crime override intelligence and decency. I: The great educational, financial, commercial, t charitable and political intorests of the States v are entrusted to the common field hands of 1 the South and unprincipled- adventurers r ?i1A Vr?rf}, t t'an vnn wonder that s I1VU1 VUV 4lV?Vi? J these people desire to free themselves of 1 this tyranny and corruption ? Such a state of things is contrary to nature, God's liftos, and all the teachings and the wisdom of mankind. Such governments are the. most grotesquo travesties; they command no respect from black or white; they * are a scandal and disgrace to tbem and to us. And does it help us of the North iu auy way, to have a lot of men, the natural product of this condition of things, sent into the halls of Congress to legislate for us, there to become the tools of bad men, and ready to combine with vicious elements from the North and West? It certainly is ot some consequence to us that the twenty-four senators and eighty or more representatives from the South should be clean and intelligent men. Wc can have them reasonably so if wc desire ; but not by sustaining the present state of things. It may seem singular that the colored man should go, as he invariably does, to the native whites for advice in the carc of his family, his money, and all his temporal concerns, except in his politics. Ho wont vote with tKft whita man becausc.like the Indian, he worships the great lather, at Washington, and minds the orders Qf his political league. Gradually and surely these oppressed people are finding out, amidst their weary soarVh for true friends, that the politicians who have settled among them "on the make are not the wisest and best of guides. There is no hostility?at least the writer has never seen any?between the former masters and their former slaves. The blacks go to these men for advice; they even, in many instances, support their old masters or mistresses who have been stripped of their all by the war. I know that the leading gentlemen of Charleston, old and yonng, are studying the problems of race and giveriimcut with an earnest desire for tho welfare of its blacks. They feel that their own prosperity, for weal or woe, is indissolubly bound up with that of the cjlorcd race, and that race mast be educated Sml trained to citizenship. The general satisfaction with the colored po lico of Charleston, and the favorable coin- I menu from old resident*, aro a proof that i the whites aro willing and anxious to have j the Qplored people do whatever they can <l> j well. To make judges, adjutant and major I generals. State and congressional legislators I of them in their present ignorance, and in 1 league with bad'whites from the North, is simply reducing society and government to : chaos, and creating u state of things whiqh augurs no good for the colored race. A distinguished Northern Republican told , me that ho could not possibly reconcile the conservation ot public morals and the public i welfare with this deluge of ignorance and corruption let loose, upon us by the measures of reconstruction ; ho thought every step in the process since 1865 had been a terrible' f blunder, from which there seemed no escape. 1 A It would be easy to quote high political and j military authority in support of these statements; and many influential business men and capitalists, apd persons interested in philanthropic movements, and students of social problems, have returned to their homes from their Southern visit determined' to do something to enlighten the public as to the outrageous state of things in the South. And what shall be the remedy ? It is difficult to say : hut one thinir can be done, and that is create a public sentiment which shall enable the Southern States to rid themselves of their present political rulers, white and black; and secondly, withhold all government and political patronage from men known to be connected with the "rings" iu the South ; and we can safely leave the rest to time. A: J.'C. S. Beauregard Follows LongstreetOn our first page will be found a scries of resolutions adopted at a recent meeting in New Orleans. "The first report was that the G. T. Beauregard whose name heads the list was General Beauregard of Confederate. fame. This was afterwards denied, and it was said to be an insignificant ward politician of that city "It stems, however, hat the first report was correct. General" Beauregard has avowed himself as.thoau hor of these resolution*. i.nc Allan ra ffcrnhl of Sunday last expresses wlmt we hink and feel about.him. much better than i ve could do ourselves in tho following cx; !ract': . i Not without the deepest possible regret, lo wc tind publislied in the Nashville papers a note from General Deaucrgard. in. i ffhich be avows bimseli tlie father of the nnalganiation resolutions. -lie says that i hey had become a necessity : that it was a < jucstion ol'cxistence with .them. j Wc cannot understand the necessity that < mpels white Southern men to mako such ; startling concessions to an inferior race, as < .hose proposed by General Beauregard and ' lis adherents. Does the General mean to j ell us that the existence of white Louisiana Innnn/lii ni*nn mint Ilia r/>C/ll 11 f innH rail t])f> I ivyvti v?o uj/vii t* uuv uiw ?vw<<?v?v..v - ? 'unification of the races!' Is their ex- I stencc dependent upon the sweeping away I n one blow of .every barrier that four centu- < iesof social custouis*havo erected between hern ? Is there not something puerile and I rawardly in this declafation ? . i Wo very readily aduiit that the political ] ituation in Louisiana is a grave one, and 1 hat, by tho action of the Federal Govern t uent, the State is now in the hands of a ' uost unprincipled set of scoundrels. But i f-iJie rapacity of thieving carpot-baggers i rtlknmi I.' rpuT II, irnr .r1 ? Tl1 o severe, that the existence of white men < ras at stake, was there no nobler and more s nanly method of meeting the danger than 1 iv welcoming the doctrines of the most c iolent advocates of social equality ? i twenty well firmed, determined men could f ortainly have fceen found in Louisiana to 1 trilcc one bold, daring blow and eud the ( Iftngcr. True enough, such a course would i lave put the State under martial law : but t t would, at any rate, have taken Louisiana ut of the hauds of the Scoundrels who had ( laced the very existence of her white 1 inpulation at peril. . t Exactly what General Beauregard ex- i lects to gain by his present*course we can- t lot imagine. The ' negroes whose votes he xpects to obtain will not place credence in i be sincerity of bis declarations; and it will . c utterly impossible for liirn to unite the s i lutes on any platform of social equality I rith negroes. All, then? that he can c lossibly effect will bo tho division of the < ihites in a crisis which demands their t omplctc unity. t I 'ndcr the plea of necessity she Soutli has, \ or eight years past, made concession after i ion cession, and in return has obtained t lothing but oppression and -contumely, s s it likely that the movement inaugurated ( >y General Beauregard and his allies will ; jroduco any more palatable results? If t jolitical success depends upon concession to t o negVo arrogance be well fixed, lie will ( ind the adventurer more than his match. ; fhorc is not a single jwivilcgc he can oli'er i o the nogro that the carpet-bagger has not < dready offered him ; and between the two. > he uegro will trust the adventurer. Stoop- I ng, then, will not even enable him to conInor. Not a negro will vote his ticket, I vho would not have voted it upon a promise 1 runnel liis nnlilical risrlits and to nrotcct 1 ; *v ; i i ; ; . iitn in their exercise. On (lie other hand, | housands of white men, dilgusted. and in- ,< lignant, and feeling that the concessions )ffere(l aro_a humiliation to their race, will I thandon tlie political ticld in disgti-t, and hus leave Louisiana more hopelessly in the , lands of carpet-baggers and other scoundrels , han ever. \ General Beauregard has not only com- I nitted a gross blunder, lie has committed a .< rime against his race uud his people. Ilis l . solutions cannot elevate the negro, but i hoy can drag white men down to (lie level < f negroes. It would have been better to lave re-enacted the scenes of the barricades in the streets of New Orleans, than to have riven to despair of succor that cowardly form which abandons pride of race, pride of birth and devotion to principles, and by basely surrendering everything?even manhood?sought to retain two pitiful gifts? pitiful when placed beside riuht and liberty, a little money and a few years nt life. Alas! we fear that Louisiana perished when Lee surrendered ! Barrister, to avenge himself oji an opponent, wrote "rascal" in his hut. The owner of the hat took it up. looked ruefu))\ iilto it. and, turning to the judge, exclaimed: "If claim the protection of this honorable cov.it, for the opposingoouiisel has writt< n his name in my hat, and I have strong suspuieion that he intends to make oil with it." THE PATRONS OP HUBANDRY.* Tho grear advantages to be derived from combination are well enough understood and appreciated at the present day, and the rapid growth of the- society known as Patrons of Husbandry, only illustrates the'want that has boon felt for the protection against the peculiar species of tyranny from which those who have enrolled themselves together have suffered. The leading ideas of tho organizatibn are based upon self interest, upon the determination to throw off, not only the tryanny-of railroad corporations, but to get rid of-tbfc exactions of middl" men, who now reap the lion's share of the profits of the farmers. This is proposed to be dene by tho appointment of special agents in the towns, or points of shipments, upon whom they concentrate their whole patronage, and to whom they entrust, not only tho sales of their grain, ect,, but also the purchase/)f their supplies of iron, sugar, salt, etc.# . These, so far as oan be seen, are the ob-. jects of the society. It is not diffibtflt to see. that these organizations will bo capable of producing great effects in the future, remembering the quite prodigious proportions which the movement has already as mV- -Inlnie 1,o nllnirnthflr Mtllll'U. I 111; Ul Ubi < uiiiuo w uv ? non-political, and it is admitted that it may be of vast benefit to the country in carrying out its peculiar object, and championing1 the farmers, and' with them society ut largv ; ngainst the domination or rings At the present day, the the tendency of businefs is to concentrate all operations itK' the hands of a few, the' consequence of which is to placo everything at the mercy; of combinations. Prices rise or full at tho dictation of these parties, aud nothing is assured of a fixed value. Some become juormously rich, at the expenso of many, ind cement their power hv the corruption >f government .and government officials, fo com hat these rings, and to rescue the government from corrupt hands is what the Patrons of Husbandry aim at. Thus tho acw organization promises great good to the country, while tho purity of its operation is maintained and its originally chosen nwA I'Atkf in virrw JUJCllO UIO M/pv ail i iuii The prodigiously rapid rise of this body Jo the dimensions of a power in the laud, s illustrated by the fact that within the last year 377 granges have been organized,ivith an aggregate membership of 2,G00V000, i lie number being daily on the increase, j f he society is a secret one, ahd no one is i illowed to cross the threshold of these j grange halls but numbers. Then ' -, r ivt i- ? it f"31 juaintness so much affected by other secret i lonieties. Women as well as men are ad-11 nittcd to tlio highest degrees in the sub- I, ordinate granges, up to the forth degree but1 ( lot beyond. Members admitted to the i irst degree are known respectively as j i Laborer and Maid: in the second degree, as , i Cultivator and Shepherdess; in the third j legrce, as Harvester and Gleaner, and in ! he fourth as Husbandman juid Matrons. ( Higher up we have the *Pomoua or Hope I; J range, composed only of Masters and Past j i Wasters of subordinate granges : a superior j i legrec is conferred only 011 members,! f the council of the national grange. This 11 ouncil is composqd of Masters and Past; ] Masters of the State granges. The seventh j legree is conferred only on members of the 1 ( National Senate. The Supremo Executive j j mthority in the order is lodged in the; i Master of the National grange. The | < establishment of this order appears to be ; t (uitc a prominent and peculiar fcatrire of i lio times. The particulars of its organiza- , ion as of other secret societies arc vague, bc,-ond a most general idea, gathered perhaps j norc from what it has accomplished than * t 1. 1 1 |. roni (ho avowed intention, wnieo nas ueeu tatc<l above. It is. said that the order cx- < reises a moral supervision of its members, | md provides for the care of such as may bo i infortunatc. It has been well remarked i hat its vast increase in numbers, implying a ( orrespotidimr acceptability, its general and md ruj?id diffusion over the country, and Is manifestations of power and purpose, institute an interesting study lor the iociologist and publicist. One would like o have its objects more clearly defined. A'e are told that '''already in many localities lie occupation of the agents or middle men vlio deal in manufactured wares consumed t>v farmers has become obsolete." In sonic [daces t be granges have purchased or leased /rain elevators. In Iowa they have built au igricultural implement manufactory of extensive capacity. An Kaslcm j.apcr speaking of the granges fays: One-third of all the elevators and /rain warehouses in the State are now own j<1 or controlled by granges, and no less tlion five million bushels of grain were diipycd fo Chicago on grange account prior to lb comber 1st. The number of cattle iml hogs shipped in the same manner is enormous." In addition to the before mentioned features of this remarkable movement, is the one that it has operated among a class that one would have supposed the least susceptible to influences of this kind. The world will doubtless watch with interest further manifestations of this influence which, whether for its own members or for society at largo has shown itself capable of working startling changes, though probably not on the scale of examples that may bo furnished in the future.? Tin Smith. A l>r\i? Wick's (lnosr.?A (Icrtnan of good standing up town lost his wife Ly death about a year ago. On her death bed the wife exacted a solemn promi.s from the husband that he would never marry again, lie was sincere at tho time, and fully bh* lieved that ho was willing to remain a mourning widower the rest of bis days. A few f 4 inCuthy^B however, he begun to feel a for a lady up town, In due tinoPfc :bi^Kg$d, and was accepted. The disregarded in his affectiov^HPA living, the man was made senscbldH kf broken promis. His sleep fend haunted with unpleasant id reau^j^Btym are, or the accusing presed&m^Be? spirit wife, brooded over him, tnn^Hfl^nnroach of nierht was to him tho of terror. His appetite failed ujJn^ wasted away in flesh, and his ppirita Mt^frelow a zero standard. Still be pereistidATiig intentions to wed, with all these ^?3Ionitions of evil staring him in The m Jtinge day was settled, and the mtoerablo^en made the necessary preperathms. V* .ordered from the confectionery a weddin wasjof size andjquaility couimcnsurajjRjfh the acoasioti. The baker cognizftDT^^he man's circnmstances, and warned hft against his contemplated step, but all t?/Jj0 avail. Wed he would. The baker V'pa the cake. It contained the asual qdkity of indigestion, and was as elegant J article as could be desired W%cn ft ? 2 done, he put it carefully away ill anoth At-opm with a number of other nichtmeatrovnkiucr cakes, covcrihs: it with ft prote&or. The door was lockid,"and taker retired. Thij iw Tuesday night, and the-marmriagfli wf jfc toko place on the day following. man who would marry met his botrotrKlakud his friends in the evening apU w*^*rried. The qik<j was sent for. VjMflMKfth professional pride, opened the |and entered for the cake, when strewn about the floor, the shivered to pieces?and yet nofra tljjjL/'lind entered the room during liia absehf. 'j'h - news added a new ghostly featurAp jhc groom's unhnppy surroundings! ??cbpcrstit,iohs neighbors say that departed signified her disuppwHHR of the second marriage by ruthlcsjW.lHfttrin'r thrt wpddiny cake, and the '1?l determined widower was turned#, gall and bitterness. j^HXL Jjoi'isvilU: Commercial. CdbW'^A0TS Concerning tne Great ?The recently-discovered corner wT? of the treat Ghi^eh parauiid, e Egyptian prainids, rercr, and JSnglish ) same remarkable' it had. been asoeril stripping of the itone facing of the pyramid, was found in ritu, to mousure multiplies of the pyramidal cubit (a littlo more than twenty-fivo inches) in all its lines, and the angle of its outerslope to express with mathematical accuracy tlm rf.fin nf tli? diameter tn the nerimetcr of :i circle. The pyramidal cubit is exactly 3.000,000,000,1 of (lie shortest radius oftho uarth, and the height of the restored pyramid 222 cubits, the 0 000,000,000,1 of the distance of the sun from the earth, according to the lately.corrected value of this distance. Similarly the so-called sarcophagus iuside the pyramid has been found to be an accurate measure of contents, based on the pyramidal cubit. A relation to the meau density of the earth is also found to exist, tud it is a curious fact that the unit of measure adopted by the builders of the pyramid, supposed to be at loast 8,000 years old, and to have been erected by a race anterior to the histtxical Egyptians, possesses a geometrical accuracy which does not exist iu the French ono, which as is known, is not what its designers intended it to be.in exact decimal relation with the meridian, owning to errors in the are. Wh#ovcr -were the builders ?f the Ghizeh pyramid, astronomy must havq K.inn f'lr fulrnnrnd ninmi!/ tllCUl to Citable them to calculate) the distance of the sun at the amended figure to which it has been reduced owty within (he last three or four years. HOW ,sfiREENlJACK" PAPER IS MADE.? All the paper for tin* money issued by the government is manufactured on a 62-inch Four-drihier machine, at the (.lien Mills, near Weit Chester, I'ennsylvania. Short pieces of red silk arc mixed with (lie pulp in the engine, and the finished stuff is conducted to the wire without passing throigh any screens, which might retain (lie silk threads. 15y an arrangement above the wire cloth, a shower of fine blu<5 silk thread is dropped in streaks upon the paper while it is forming The upper side, on which the blue silk is dropped, is the one used for the face of the notes, and from the < .1 i. ? ?t:~i manner in wjiicn nic uircuas arc ?ppvu, must plow them more distinctly than the lower or- reversed side, although they are emboddtt?"deeply enough to remain fixed. The uiili is guarded l>y ofticers night and day, to prevent the dbstractioii of any paper. i Sloel),'obtained two hours before midnight, when tljr negative forces are in operation, is the restiwhich most recuperates the system, givinfHp. htncss to the eye and a glow to the check. The difference in the appearance r,r nnndi who habitually retires at ten o'clock. " I 1- ? ana tlm Cone who sits up until twelve, is tpjite remarkable. The tunc of the system ho evid^ nt in the complexion, the clearness and ?p*i -Ue, of the eye. anil the soilness of feature.!, i* in a person of health, kept at ' concert niteh" bv takinn regular rest two 1 'Hi , . j iu twelve o'clock, and thereby obtaim'beauty sleep'' of the night. There Va heaviness of the eye, a snllo\vne? of ski?and hu absence of that glow in the I face wSph renders it fresh in expression and rount^Kn appearanee, that rapidly distinguVtes the person who keops late hours. A Happy Dajody.?We are not obliged to tell how the following funny letter fell into our hands. All the readers has to do is read it aud laugh : Dear Sister Emma : I now take xny seat and set down to take the opportunity to inform yon that I am a "daddy/' or at least I suppose I am, for Addie has got as nice" a baby as ever* made, up faces.- We hope that these few lines may and you enjoying the same great blessing. Now, ihfe is to be strictly a business letter. Firstly, as I said befoTe, Addie has got a fine baby; secondly, 1 have swapped away old John, and think I have got a pretty nice horse, it is a girl, and and wei^s nine pounds?I mean the baby ?it is just as fat as bdtter, and has a good, strong pair pf lungs. She is red, and has a bobtail?the liorse I mean?and a .white ufrino in lior fnn/i onii is a (irivnr sVift bns got some blue eyes and a dimple in ber chin ?I mean the baby?has just the prettiest mouth that ever opened to receive pap; judging from her teeth, I think she is about six years old?I mean the horse now?she is sound, smooth and kind-?I mean the horse or the baby either, now?and the doctor says she is the fairest he ever saw, without any exception?he meant the baby?I got 824 tojboot, not on the baby, though, for in its case the boot is on the other foot, and two or three sizes larger, as near as I can find out. I am going to harness the liorse now, and go after mcthcrshe waadjorn last nichtat twenty min utcs yast 9?I hopo you don't think I {mean mother or the horse; I mean the babyj^ She is as hearty as a pig; eat an egg, a biscuit, and drank three cups of tea?I mean Addic ?she is getting along nicely, and if she don't have any bad luck she will get along first-rate. She is subject to disorders of the stomach, and they say it is.a sign of colic? I mean the baby?I hope it is, for the nurse says colioy babies never die. She talks about her "nose as she takes snuff?I mean the nurse. I aui going to nauie it Ediena? I mean the baby. There ! I've been reading this over, and I see plainly that I aint fit to write. Thft amount of itis lam flustrated; I am a happy father, and that accounts for ' it, so you must oxcuse me this time. Your brother, JiM. ( : You Are a Brick.?A certain college professor hud assembled his class at the comment of the term, and was reading over the lits of names to see that all was present. It chanced that ono of the number present was > unknown to the*professor, baying just entered the class that day. * , "What is you name, sir," asked the profee- j aor. lookingj through his spectacles at the], ""Yo^ir^^jncJ^was the'siartfmg rt? 1 ply. "Sir," said the professor, half starting out of his chair at the supposed impertinence, but?not quite sure that he Jiad Understood the young mau .c&rectly j "Sir, I did not exactly understand your answer." "You are a brick," was again the composed reply. . "This is intolerable," said the old professor, his face reddening. "Beware, young man, how you attempt to insult me." "Insult you!"replicd the student, in turn very much astonished. "How have I done it?" /Did you not say that I was a brick?" rpfnrnpd ihfi npofessor with satisfied indig nation. "No, sir, you asked me my name, aud I answered your (juestion.^ My name, sir, is U. K. A. Brick?Uriah Reynold Anderson Brick." "Ah, iudecd!" murmured the professor, sinking back into his seat in confusion; "it was a misconception on my part. Will you commence tho lcssoii, Mr.?ahem?Brick ?" A matron gives the following advice to girls : Girls talk and laugh about marriage as though it were a jubilee, a glad something, a rose without a thorn. And so it is, if it is all right; if they go about it as rational beings, instead of merry-making children, it is a life business, and that of heart aud happiness. Therefore, never do it iu a haste; never run away to get married; never "steal a marriage;" never marry fur wealth, or standing, or fine person, or manners, but only for character, for worth, for the qualities of mind and heart which make an honorable man. Take time, think long and well beforo you accept any proposal; consult yonr parents, :hcn some judicious fliend, then your own judgment. Learn all that it is possible for you to learn of your proposed husband; when all doubts have been removed, and not until then, accept him. To Cure Toothache.?A well-known dentist, who has tried the remedy on some nervous people who have old roots of broken teeth, and are too timid to permit an attempt to remove them, makes the following public for the benefit of all whom it may concern: To persons having a hollow tooth, allowing the air to reach the nerve, I would advise that they get some spirits of nitre and mix with alum ; saturate a littlo cotton With it, I and apply it to the cavity. Viu Apiit?The following is said to l """ " a be a speedy euro for this disease : "Take a piece of fat. salt pork, and make a plug half an inch long in such a shape that one end will fit in (lie car like a cork ; the other end large enough to keep it from slipping." If any one is suffering with this disease, the recipe is worth trying. A Pitlsfield Teuton, disgusted with the disrespect oftlood Friday by the Yankees, exclaimed. "Mein(Jolt! McinOott! What a country! What, a beeplcs! Only two holy days and one is Fourth of July and the other April Fools! j? " SBS ADVERTISING RATES. Space. 1 M. 2 M. I 8 M. 1 Y. 1 square 3 00 6 ool 8 00 12 00 16 00 2 squares 6 00 9 00' 12 00 18 00 26 00 squares 9 00 18 00 16 00 24008600 , squares 12 00 16 00 20 00 80 00 48 00 a column 15 00 19 00 24 00 84 00 60 00 i column 20 00 80 00 40 00 66 00 80 00 } column 80 00 50 00 60 QO 90 00(160 00 All Transient Advertisements will be charged One Dollar per Square for the first and Sivmtty-fjve Cents per 8quare for each subsequent insertion Single insertion, $1 60 per square. OUR OHIP-BASKET. The fastest city io the world?Electricity. The end of all argument?you're.another. When is it right to take any one in ?? When it rains. New reading of an old proverb?Man proposes, and Woman seldom refuses. What nation produces most marriages f? Facination. Reeling home Saturday night is a bad . windup of the week. ?i ?Wher a tree if 11 you want w &uv? ? _ hollow or not axe it. Sadness is a dyer; it discolors everything and drapes the soul in sable. Did you ever enjoy the bliss of courting f If not, get a little gal an' try. A doctor was shot lately in Iowa; and a local paper baa "strong fears of his reoovcry." *' t "I have a bad habit," as the drunkard said, when he looked at his tattered garments. Let him who regrets the loss of time make the proper use of that which is to come. Labors of the body free as from pains of the mind. This is what constitutes the happiness of the pool. A loyal Ohio girl went several hundred miles lately to marry lover, who was in jail for stealing horses. * A school boy remarks that when hia teacher undertakes to " show him what is what," he oniy finds out which is noitch. . Thackery says'that a critic is a Solomon that sits in judgement before us, and chops up our children. To carry gunpowder in the pocket?Soak it well in cold water, then wrap it up in a cover of oiled silk Boxes, it is said, govern the world?the cartridge-box, the ballot-box, the - ^vry-bex, and last, through out least, tile bonnet-box. * cri?M ft look'of hia A JOUng Luau ^ciiDiui; 0 , hair to his sweetheart before he marries her. After marriage she sometimes helps herself, ind don't use scissors. A good way to cure a cold in the head it to pour vinegar over a hot briek, holding rhe head over it until it is thoroughly steamte^^^Mpre^nTa sti^hr^^haW^S^"^*^ a blow docs a lady receive when she buys a pound of "double zephyr?" A New Abany, Indiana, judge has decided that if a man gets drunkevery other week, and stays drunk a week at a time, he is not a habitual drunkard. "Say, Pomp, you nigger, where you get that new hat?" "Why, at de shop, of course." "What is de pifoe of such an article * as dat?" "I don't know, digger?I don't know; de shop man wasn't dsr." Who can know how much of his most inward life is made up of (he thoughts be believes other men to have about him until that fabric of opinion is threatened with ruin ?' A country editor has answered the question ; "What is the use of dogs V- He asjs wait until a man h^nga round tout offioe for four days reading exchangee and proffering good advice and then you'll know what a dog is good for. A father, in consoling his daughter, who had lost her husband, said; "I don't wonder you grieve for him, my child. Tou will never find his equal." "I don't know as I can," responded the sobbing widow, "butI'll do my best!" The father went home oemforted. . Ono of the smartest detectives in the city of New York is a negro, and it is conceded that he docs moro to check crime among those of his own color, by the reason of his intimate knowledge of their ways and haunts, Kan oil thn rest of the force. Of a miserable man who died of softening of the brain, a local paper said: ' His head gave way, bat hand* never did; his brain softened, but his heart couldn't." "Excuse this bit of sarcasm," said Smith; but. I must say that you are an infamous scoundrel!" Pardon this bit of irony," was replied, as a poker descended on Smith's head. A citizen of Waco, Texas, is vouched for as the father of fifty children. By his first wife he had thirteen, by his second eighteen, by his third ten, by his fourth six, and by his fifth and surviving wife, three; thirtyfive are still alive, eight having been loet in the Confederate army, and seven having died natural deaths. . * II A .J _ ' Gentlemen ot the jury, coargvu Western judge, "in this case the counsel on both sides arc unintelligible, the witneeN* on both sides are incredible, and plaintiff . and defendant are both snch characters, that to nic it is indifferent which way yon give a * verdict." a iiamnihirA nut the following ad " o w vcrtisemont in a weekly paper: "Who wants to buy a new milch cow, that ia every way kind, only, fivo years old, and rives fifteen quarts of milk to a milking?Jack Kogers.' The next week Mr. Rogers received no fewer than fifty applications through tho paper for the cow, which were answered thus: "If I hear of any such cow, I will let you know immediately.?Yours truly J. Rogers."