I I III -II 1 1 . J--J
II ' 1 ' Li?jegg?gBS
VOL. XXXII. CAMDBN, S. C.? THURSDAY, MARCHS7, 1873. IVO. 30
' Tg? CAMDEN JOURNAL
AN
INDEPENPENT FAMILY PAPER
PUBLISHED BT
JOHN KERSHAW.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
One year, in advance $2 60
Six months 1 50
Three months 76
fS^Trurtfieat Advertisement* must be paid
n advance.
?a??????ww?
Correspondence of the Jonraal.
fhiAi?T.t?TOV. March IS. 1873
A somewhat protracted sojourn in "The
01 ty by the Sea," has enabled ine to Recall
many pleasant reminiscences pertaining to
aafe-fo/faei times, and to note the striking
differences of noio and then. TVonld that I
could say that there was adrantage for the
present. While painfully impressed, howerer,
with the tremondous evils that, like an
ill-omened bird, sits and broods over the
prosperity of this as of many other sister
cities of the South, yet I am not disposed,
as spiao are, to think that we are "totally
ruined." No indeed, there is life in the old
laud yet, and there it more elasticity in our
Southern fibre than we oureelven are aware
of. Were it net ee, we would have been
crushed, ere this, by the incubus of dishonest
taxation and other legionary evils that
have been imposed upon us.
We feel proud ofour old city as perambulating
her streets we see how she has nobly
*- * :?i-a I
borne beneu ami a depressing IUIIUVUVC9 tuai i
hare gathered at tilues as if to annihilate.
Slowly but steadily she is overcoming pondcroas
difficulties aud recovering her former
appearance. Wise forbearance, industry and
silent determination have accomplished much,
aud will, in time, enable tho grand old historic
town to wield once more a mighty in*
fluence.
There is one th?ng needed, however, to
assist onr metropolis to recuperate more raniiilv
and to uume the nosition of import
r?j ? *
aoco which should belong to her auiong the
Atlantic cities. It is the assistance of the
entire Stato?the duty of every village, town
and oonnty to help baild her up by concent-sting
the business interest in this beautifil
mart. . Will our people never learn to
first patronise themselves and to concentrate
their advantage at home ? Do the citisens of
the State of New Turk, Pennsylvania and
- Massachusetts ignore their own cities and
baild up ours? Why do we not follow their
wise example ? It should not be claimed that
Northern cities present greater advantages.
* ? ?i i d.
Charleston can, aira uoes at niin viiuv, pmscnt
superior advantage, all things considered,
t) two-thirds of our merchants, who annually
nsd semhannnaHj pass bjr the attractions of
visit to Northern cities. 'Our metropolis has
claims on ns that should be heeded, and wc
believe the day is not far distant when purchasers
throughout our state will demand
that attention be paid to these Vigorous
prosperity onoe attained here, capital established,
and reflux influence would soon extend
oar entire territory.
Nor are local attractions wanting; first
class Hotels snd comfortable boarding-houses
are prepared to furniab a warm Southern
welcome; attractive stores, wholesale and retail
; public buildings of elegant styles of architecture;
palatial private residences in
every part of the city ; works of enterprise
that would astonish some unacquainted with
their existence; a beautiful harbor abouud!?/?
nf ViIutnr?f? intorotf *nd the nn
rivalled Battery drives and promenades?
these all combine to attract and satisfy the
most fastidious, and are all our own.
One other item, Mr. Editor, and very important,
ia the religions tone of this eity.?
He who stays over sabbath?let him go where
he may to h-iar the Gospel preached?will
not be disappointed. Whatever his denominational
predilection, he may enter any
sanctuary of his choice and be unoffended;
no political harangues are preached in Charleston.
The citizen of Camden feels doini-?ilated
in his own pew while listening to the
familiar aceeots of such divines as Revs.
Wightman, Johnson, and Brackett.
It was our good fortune on last Sabbath
morning to listen to a venerable servant of
Qod, who has been for some weeks a visitor
in our hospitable city, Rev. Nehemiah Adams,
D. I)., of Boston, favorably known at
the South for bis boldness in presenting at
a time of strong political sensation, a 'South
Si<|e Viow of Slavery." Wc always honor a
man who dares to express his honest convictions,
based upon Bible truths, when these
convictions are knowu to be unpopular.
Repairing to the same capacious edifice,
Bethel Churcli, in the evening, we tounatbu
gifted and eloquent pastor. Dr. J. T. Wightman,
engaged, by request, in the delivery of
a stirring Tempera it eo sermon. Feeling assured
that even a report of so successful a
discourse would please your temperance
loving readers, I am induced to send you an
imperfect synopsis of the same.
The text was selected from 2nd chapter
of Genesis, uTbon shalt not eat of it." felfrestraint,
said the speaker, was a law applicable
to our nature; it was a wise and universal
law. License is not liberty; a man is
not more of a freeman for being unrestrained,
but less so. Even Omnipotence is compassed
by a circumference of restraint, for God
cannot do evil, cannot commit sin. And
what is more desirable, both for individual
and common good, than self-restraint, the
controlling of one's liberty. Does he who
locks himself within at night, thereby shutting
out the midnight robber and assassin,
feci that he has curtailed his liberty ? rather,
has he not increased, by the security thus
afforded, the freedom and enjoyment of his
being within ? So should we put down the
latch and bar the door against unholy appetites
that would enter to consume aud destroy.
The necessity of the application of this
restraint to the subject of Intemperance, was
most urgent; the responsibility of using alcoholic
liquors being most momentous, both
with regard to one's self and as to its influThn
havoc of Intempcr
CUW VTVt ? ?? _ m
ance in our land was appalling; 200,000,000
gallonsof spirit* were annually manufactured
?a great liquid sea, whose tidal wave was
rolled from the Atlautic shore, inundating
in its course, the streets of cities, town and
villages, swoeping over intermediate plains
until its desolating force, after producing a
holocaust of 100,000 lives, was expended
only on the opposite coast of the Pacific.
What artny could effect more desolate results
?
The economic views, too, the expense of al
this destruction, $500,000,000; a sum sufficient
to meet the provident expenditures of
nearly every good government.
Then were presented graphic delineations
of individual cases of suffering?the heartbroken,
sacrifioed wife, who but a few years
before bad, in trusting confidence, given
herself to him who had sacredly promised to
love, cherish and protect her ; where were
thoee promises now ? and what was she bat
a withered flower, crushed by tho demon
that revels in the destruction of happy
homes. Then followed a penetrating appeal
to each and a//, to arrest the strong floodtide
of ruin, by obedience to the salutary law
of self restraint, so that both precept and example
might have full sway.
It was a happy effort for an important
cause, and seemed to be highly appreciated
by a large and attentive audience.
M.
"This Man has Brought us a List of
South Carolinian.
Governor Moses, in that remarkable document,
"de omnibus rebus et quthus dam afiis,"
(his late message), has made a fearful exhibit
of the ways and means of the party in power
?"the Progress and Moral Idea party."
The Puritan, the African, and the Scalawag
(trio nobilefrafrnm) have had it all their
own Way, aud Governor Moses candidly admits
that the Government is a failure. That
Grand Code has turned out a very Pandora's
box?there is no end to the evils to flow from
it.
We have "seen corruption boil and bubble"
till it o'erruu the stew; laws for all faults,
but faults so circumstanced that the strong
statues stand like the forfeits in a barber's
shop?as much in mock as mark."
Millions have been wrung for the people,
and spent?no-one out 01 mo ring nuuws
how. Tho country has been flooded with
pay certificates, do one knows for what services
renderod. Offices have been bought
nod sold without compunction. Bribery,
corruption, drunkenness, debauchery, gambling,
lying and billings-gate hare become
household words, and no one is ashamed of
it
The Governor has put the usual amount
of red in his brush, and indulges the common
fustain about our magnificent waters
running to waste?our splendid material
dooinea to disastrous neglect?the "pulses
of our advancing civilization throbbing,"
quoting from Tennyson's Brook, and takes
a fling at Tom Jefferson for being an old fogy
?goes largely into the political economy of
keeping my neighbor's cow out of my enclosure,
thinks it a sore griovanco that ? little,
ticky, no horn brindlc should be allow wed to
poach ad Jibihim upon our preserves?
touches on meteorology and climatology,
stock raising, the grasses, Yankee immigration,
and railroad catastrophes. Ilis excellency
touches lightly upon that myth, the
armed force, and complains of a limited supply
of arms?docs he want another arm contract
?
He wants the Judges' salaries increased,
so as to be consistent with the "dignity of
their position," and more amending of the
jury law.
A. good deal of fustian is indulged in on
the common school systom and crowning all
the hill tops with school houses?education
the bulwark of liberty, progress, civilization
?our destiny, and all that sort of sophouiorical
rhetoric.
His Kxcelloncy, however, can't disguise
the bald truth, that the Treasury is empty
?that tho Insane Asylum has been kept up
by private charity?that the Heat'and Dumb
L?. 1 ...? ?!.?? ?i,?
:\HJTIUUI IlilB UVt-ll UUL III IUIIU9 11144 v 4 ni'
free schools have been closed and tho teachers
stand unpaid?that that beniliccnt institution,
the Penitentiary, is on its last legs
and has been forced to farm out, pio f><>no
publico, its promising inmates?that no debt
of the 4^tate has been paid and its creditors
are demanding payment, while a greedy
horde of hangcrson and officc-secckra stand
around, like ''Oliver asking for w ore."
His Excellency says that "tha passions
that wcro heated in th& crucible of political
antagonism are now rapidly cooling and mon
are temperately viewing the situation as it
ii," and he may say also that they see very
few hopeful signs from the action of the Administration,
so far. The promise of reform
has not boen backed up by performance.
But His Excellency has built again that
fauious column of the Athenians and inscribed
it "To time who vindicates," The grim
monster, we fear, will find His Excellency
forced to chagne his opinion, that the
"difficulties of the situation arc not insurmountable."
We very much fear that we
arc only to realize the truth of that old fable
we read in the old spelling book of "The
Fox and the Flies," over again. The signs
of the times are by no means promising.
A Looker On. j
I
An English view of an American's
Smartness. From
the Saturday Review.
The Alalavn question, now happily con
verted into a domestic controversy in the
United States, has assumed a form vhich is
both amusing and instructive. It might
have beeu supposed that the distribution
auiong the claimants of the damages awarded
at Geneva was an cosy and simple transaction.
The American counsel and agents
succeeded in satisfying the Arbitrators by
cvidonee that the claims, ineluding interest,
amounted to about 3,250,000/; and their
statements must have approximately shown
the separate items due to every claimant
which collectively constituted the total sum.
By the provisions of the Treaty of Washington,
tho Arbitrators might, if they had
thought fit, have left tho amount to be de- j
termined by a Board of Assessors, whieh
would in that case have been "appointed to
ascertain and determine what claims arc
valid, and what amounts shall be paid by
Great Britain to the United States on ac
count of the liability arisiug from failure
- - ? ' ' ^ -- a. L J
| (in fulfilment 01 autyj as 10 eav-u vi-kwi.
The Arbitrator? chose the alterative of
awarding a sum in gross, which was evidently
intended both by the farmers of the
Treaty and by tho Tribunal to correspond
with the amount of valid claims. The Senate
of the United States has accordingly
passed a Bill appointing a Commission for
distributing the amount to be paid under
[ the Geneva Award; but it has been made to
appear to the leaders of the majority in the
llouse of Representatives that the agents of
the United States had not during tho litigaj
tion exhausted the posibilities of sharp prac!
tice and litigious perversity. General But1
ler, as the organ of tho Judiciary Committee,
| has roportcd to the House a Bill which practically
affirms that the English Government
] was cheated, that' the Gistfa Arbitratorswere
tricked, and that tho persons who had
suffered injuries from the inculpated cruisers
ought now to be deprived of the fruits of a
fraud to which they may perhaps have boen
parties. The object of the Bill is to secure
for the Treasury of the United States a porm
___ _ j
tion of the damages wmcn wero, in accoraance
with the contention of the American
counsel, awarded for injuries inflicted on
private American citizens It must be admitted
that General Butler is probably not
influenced by patriotic cupidity in his attempt
to securo for the Treasury a portion of
the spoil. The amount awarded was, as he
perhaps correctly argues larger than the total
sum proved to be due for Direct Claims,
and therefore he contends that tho surplus
was after nil granted by the Arbitrators in
satisfaction of the Indirect Claims which
they had never taken into consideration, and
which had been formerly withdrawn by the
American counsel before the commencement
of the inquiry. That the damages demanded
for losses by American citizens wore considerably
larger than the sum awarded is a
consideration which was not likely to weigh
with General Butler. Ho probably thinks
*' -* - nn/1 cMin/tnvcfltl Ilttfinmt. tn
Til III 2ft UCIIUt'IUlO uiju ravvvhwiui mv?wh*|/v ?v
delude an interuatioiial Court of Arbitration
redounds to the credit of any lawyer by whom
it may have been practised. That a trustee
should obtain damages and then refuse to
pay them over to the person beneficially entitled
on the ground that they are exorbitant
in amount, and that thoy were obtained by
misrepresentation, is a proceeding wbicn
General Butler could not fall to appreciate
and approve. It is well that the English
nation annd Government arc wholly unconcerned
with the latest aftergrowth of American
smartness. It would be interesting to
learn Mr. Adam's opinion on a proposal
which implies that he and his colleagues
were either parties to or victims of a fraud.
IIow People Get Sick.?Eating too
much and too fast, and swallowing imperfectly
mastified food. By takiug too much fluid
during meals. Drinking poisonous whiskey
and other intoxicating driuks. Keeping
late hours at night and sleeping too late in
tho morning. Wearing clothing too tight
so as to relax circulation. Wearing thin
shoos. Neglecting to take sufficient exercise
to keep their bauds and feet warm.
Neglecting to wash the body sufficiently to
keep the pores of the skin open. Exchanging
the warm clothing worn in a warm
room during the day for light costumes and
exposure, incident to evening parties.
Starving the stomach to gratify a vain and
foolish passion for dress. Keeping up n
constant excitement, fretting the mind with
borrowed troubles. Employing cheap doctors
and swallowing quack nostrums for
every imaginary ill. Taking meals at irregular
intervals.
When Louis Napoleon had received refusals
from four different courts in answers
to offers of marriage, he broke a chair in a
tit of passion, and said, ''Now, these gentlemen.
my cousins, shall have an empress oi
my own making, and they shall honor her
as such,"as if she were the daughter of an
emperor." The next day he proposed to
Eumenie.
"*' * . r~?
The Last Hours of Commodore Maury.
A correspondent of tho Albany Ere. Journal
furnishes to that journal a letter from
one who was with Commodore Maury in his
last hours, and who testifies in a tender and
interesting manner to the happy death of
that man. We quote :
The last two days of Matthew H. Maury's
life were grand?a complete triumph. In
perfect possession of h is faculties to the last.
I wish all tho world could have seen that
death, it was such a triumphant one. We
sang hymns around- his dying bed, and after
the last one, Friday evening?it was "Christ
is risen"?he put his hands and said, slowly
and distinctly: "The peace of God which
passcth all understanding be with you all
?all" lie blessed every one separately,
and prayed ever as fervently and in the most
beautiful language. He said he would be
in a moribund condition for several days.
Twice Friday, we were all summoned j he
would look aronnd, and if all were not in
the range of his sight he would call oat the
names of those whom he missed. Gazing
earnestly into the face of eaeh, ho said
something appropriate and affectionate, always
winding up with ''You see how God
has answered myprayer/I know you every
one." Ha said,' "I shall retain my senses to
the end. God has granted me that as a
token of my acceptance. I have set my
house in order. My prayers have all been
answered. My children arc gathered arpnnd
my bed, and now, Lord, what wait I for?"
He then repeated a prayer of eleven petitions,
which he wanted each of his children and
grandchildren to use every day. He had
composed it for himself almost forty years
ago, the night after his leg was broken, and
he had repeated it every night since, not
missing one; and then ho prayed.
"Oh Lord, touch my lipe with hallowed
fire, like Isaiah's of old, that I may testify to
mnrnrr ma nhn Am hilt 11 lit
tll^f lUfO uuu liil.iv j wr MiW) ??M? ?...
tie child in all save wickedness." He requested
that when the physicians pronounced
him dying he should be informed of it. As
the supreme hour drew near, ho turned to
his son and asked him in the language of the
ruling passion, "Do I seem to.draw.my
anchors?" The answer, "They are Bure
and steadfast," gave him great comfort.
Jast before ho expired, he said distinctly:
"Lord, receive my soul," and lifting up
bo* lands towards Heaven, liko a child
whb wants to be taken up, calling on the
name of his father. So he passed away at^
twenty minutes to one o'clock Saturday*
inerning. He left a request that his funeral
stanild not take place until the spring and
W*h?Lhi* *, bodjf to j*. token
through the Gosncn Pass, when the
rhododendrons and the laurel arc in bloom,
and asked us to pluck their blossoms as wc
passed and shower them over his bier as we
bore him to his final resting place in Fredericksburg
or Richmond.
A Fearful Visitor?The Paris Star
relates tho following story:
A M'rnc. Ilonncau, living in the Rue
Descartes, was sitting in her parlor a few
days since, awaiting her husband's return to
dinner, whea a man of wild and haggard np
pearnncc entered, and, seating himself opposite
to her, addresed her in tho following
terms: "I am a great doctor. I can effectually
cure all headaches. I have heard that
you suffer from that cause, and I am come to
cure you." The lady perceiving that she
had to deal with a madman, prudently seemed
to fall into his humor, and asked what was
his method of treatment. '-Simple enough,
madaine," said he drawing a razor from his
pocket; "I cutoff the head, and then, after
having well cleaned it, I replace it upon the
shoulders." Upon this ho pi^pared to suit
the action to his words. M'me. Bonneau.
with great coolness, professed her readiness
to submit to the operation, but suggested
that she should fetch a towel from the next
room to prevent her dress from being stained.
ITcr visitor assented to the reasonableness
of this suggestion, and she left her
room, locking the door behind her. Upon
her return with sotno police officers, they
found that the unfortunate maniac had cut
his own throat, but not fatally. It was ascertained
that he had escaped from a lunatic
asylum at Clermont les Prcs, and had been
vainly sought for during a whole month.
IIow a Parent Plays Indian and
nets the Worst of It.?A New Yorker is
very much annoyed because his two boys
have rend so many Indian stories that they
have gone wild with anxiety to play Indian,
to go on the plain hunting for noble red mon.
The man wan taking a nap after dinner in
his easy chair, when he was awakened by an
alarming noise and a strange sensation in
his head. He jumped up suddenly, and
found that one of his boys, dressed in a red
table cloth and his face decorated with blue
paint was trying to scalp his father with a
carving knife, while the other boy, attired
in a blanket shawl and a roostor feather,
flourished a hatchet and emitted war whoops
from behind a thicket composed of two chairs
and a card table. Tho man decided to put
a stop to this kind of thing. So next day
when tho boys were playing with bows and
arrows in the garden, lie dressed himself in
T IT Iiimm.il Avar tllfl
an iiiuiau ciamuiv uiiu jiiuijuu v..-. ?
fence with a wild, uncartyly yell, fur the
purpose of frightening those children. The
oldest boy however, stood is ground, and
drawing an arrow to the head, in which was
inserted a ten-penny nail, he buried it in the
chieftain's leg before he took to flight. That
night the father walked up stairs on a
crutch, and flogged the family all around
before he sent them to bed. lie is now
, thinking of some other way to effect a cure
of the sanguinary disposition of his offspring.
Cincinnati Gazette.
A loving swain in Maine dedicated a
napkin ring "To my nlmost wifo.*'
Life in Berlin.
There is a lmbit of attributing the misfortunes
of France, in great part, to the godlessness
of French society. The atheism and
religious superstition of that country pawbeen
a favorite theme of many writers and'preaehers
for years, and especially- since the downfall
of the Kmpirc. We have been taught
concerning tho refined and elegant dissipations
of Parisian life, of the fashionable
forms of iniquity that obtain nowhere else
as in the gay capital of France, and of the
self-indulgence and worldliness which had
utterly corrupted the nation, and made it incapable
of meeting^Germany in war. And
it has been quietly inferred that the
Germans are a sober, intelligeut-, reverent,
and religious people, full of that vigor whioh
morafprinciples, when respected and obeyed,
impart. That the Germans are a well-governed
.and thoroughly disciplined people:
that they have a most excellent system of
schools, and are intelligent; and that there
is a good deal of Christian life in the land,
cannot be questioned. But a very dark side
of social life is declared by recent articles of
eminent German writers, and it may well be
questioned whether Paris was ever a wickeder
citv than Berlin. Certainly Paris, under
Napoleon, was an orderly and quiet city, in
every portion of which one could feel secure;
and iu whatever degree vice prevailed there,
it was not allowed to manifest itself publicly,
much less to become violent and dangerous.
But those mighty men of war, who could put
the whole French nation under foot, in one
of the most remarkable campaigns in all history,
are either enable or unwilling to make
their capital and court city a safe or decent
place of residence. Dr. Schwabe tells us
some very startling facts. Every year more
than 30.000 woman arrive in Berlin, from
different parts of Germany, to find employment,
and nothing is done by the authorities
to preserve these thousands from
tlio snares that are set for them on every
hand. Domestic servants constitute sever*
teen and a half per cent, of the laboring
class, and of these only three lodge in- the
houses where they serve. The great majority
of the inhabitants of Berlin are from
twenty to thirty years old, and of the larger
portion arc unmarried. Illegitimate births
have attained the fearful proportion of seventeen
per eent. Of 23,000 fuuerals that
took place in 1870. nearly 20,000 were parforuicd
without any religious ceremony whatever.
Gustav Freytag's Review asserts that for
many years the influence of Berlin theatres
has been exceedingly corrupting and baneful.
Wachter declares that "every evening
the popular iheatraa o?the capital trampled
under foot marriage, morality, and religion,
amid the exhalations of *beer and tobacco,
and the laughter of tho audience." And
all this goes on without any effort to check
or limit it. "By all classes of people the turpitudes
of the stage are frautically applauded.
We ard told that men hang about civil
tribunals, ready to become witnesses in suits,
fnr ? nrlpp nnd that the mania for snecula
tion rages like a fever everywhere. The
Ansbcnjer Zritung speaks of the "Judiac
spirit at Berlin, which is gnawing all souls,
and subordinates all moral considerations to
lucre." Not only the environs, but the heart
of the city, is made dangerous by thieves
and vagabonds and ruffiaus. The Berlin
journals warn againsL traversing the streets
by night without weapons of defence, and
loudly assert the utter insufficiency of the
police to protect the lives of people who may
have occasion to be out of ah evening. Dunine
months of last year three hundred and
ninety children under fourteen years of age
were imprisoned in the city gaol, and the
"gamins" of Paris would seem to bo a virtuous
and self-sacrificing association as compared
with the notorious "Louis" of Berlin.
The scenes of violence and immorality nightly
witnessed in the Fricdrich strasse, one of
tho principal streets of Berlin, provoked the
municipal couucil recently earnestly to appeal
to the emperor, praying that some measures
of relief might be devised.
"The dark side of Berlin" is extremely
dark. Is Germany to become, in turn, intoxicated
by the pride of success, so as to
pluugo into a career of godlessness and sensuality,
that can only end -in her complete
corruption and downfall ?
A Tennessee Horror.?In the adjoining
county of Hancock, thero lived a family
consisting of u father, mother, two sons, a
daughter and son-in-law. Sotno time ago the
- . l ? l _ <? ?1_ J M.
father separated irorn ins rauuiy, anu wun
his son John took up his abode with a woman
living in or near the Hawkins county
line. From this place frequent forays were
made upon the old homestead, and from time
to time much property was conveyed to the
woman's house. They submitted patiently
to those depredations until the father took
away tho last horse on the place.
The son, Wui. Sutton, who had remained
with his mother, procured a replevin writ,
and with his brother-in-law, Harnett, went
to the woman's house and took possession of
it. They were on the point of leaving, when
tho father, Dan Sutton, came out of the
house and with a rifle fired at Win. Sutton
The old uinn seized an axe and split opeu the
skull of his son-in-law, who sank down iu a
pool of blood and expired in a few moments.
The father next advanced upon Willam Sutton
with axe uplifted. William drew his
pistol and fired, killing the old man instant
ly. In the mean tinio John Sutton seizing
Harnett's pistol, closed in with his brother.
Thus tliev fought muzzle to muzzle, till cverv
shot was expended. After knocking oneii
other with the butt ends of their pistols, they
throw them aside and drew their bowieknives.
In a short time John lost one of his
hands and another stroke from William cut
off his chin, and thus the bloody affray ended.
John is thought to be dying. Willaim
was hurl in several places, but has uiauaged
to escape?R<?jrrxriffr (7V??.) Ry orta-.
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OUR CHIP-BASKET **
1 a ? ?i?
Husbandry-c-Mormonisui. .
The best color for faces?Water eoJor.
A maiden's speech'?"Ask papa.** ' -1 *' > / .
A Western jury brought in a teraicl or
'justifiable breach of promise.""'* - !% V
"Excuse baste and a bad pen/' as the pig
said when he broke oat. '.< *"? ^
Dying for love?Coloring your moqsfschi ~ *
to please a woman- .
Would you rather eo. through li giddy
waits with a pretty girl than go through a pretty
waits with a giddy girl V We pause s
for'a reply.
The very latest?Why is love like a 8ooteh ?
plaid ? Because it is alt stuff and often."
crossed. v. }
^ .
A "Boston woman speaks of her hushaid .
as her $3,000 darling, that being the amount
of his life policy. ' * V
"Industry must prosper/' as the man sail, >
when holding the baby for his wife to chop ,
wood. . ...
va s - . r c.' .
" Have you beard my last speeeb ?" asked.
a political haranguer of a wft "I hope so/'
was the reply. ; B ^ - C
* . r
A man in Texas said be could drink a.
quart of Cincinnati whiskey, and he did it,
Tho silver mounting an his coffin j|sl eeet
$13.75. - ^
Miss Sophie Barney took a premium atthu
Montgomery, Ala., fisir as "the young woman
who would make the best wife for a poor
man.;
"Don't you remember the uextrVord in
"your lesson? It's the word after oheese.
Whet comes after cheese f "Mouse V tri
umphantly exclaimed the poxaled pupil.
The Louisville Ledger says in some portions
of the South it is wcoming dangerous
to use even the word "niggardly," the nub* :
atitote therefor being "coloredlj."
A grave older once forbade the baansef a
certain young couple, because he had "ja- '
teded Hannah for himself." That's'what,
was the matter with Hannah. '
One of Brigham Young's ohildren got lost
the other night, and Brigkaui wad half an
hour calling the roll before he could UH
which one it was. v
Vermont papers are boasting of eight old
farmers in Franklin county, who live within
two miles of -each other; aad who have had
lint *> ( tea.
A gentleman coming into tha room of Dr.
Barton, told him that Mr. Vowel was dead.
What, said lie; Vowel dead?.Let us bo
thankful that it was neither U nor I.
An exchange, in announcing the death of _
a lady, says that sho 'dived fifty years with
her husband, and died in confident hope of a
better life." ~ v
A man who was told by a clergyman to romeuiber
Lot's wife, replied that he had
| trouble enough with his own, without rcuiembering
other men's wives.
A parent who has fifteen daughters has
poisoned his dog, taken the locks off the do ri
and hung ropo ladders over his door yard
fence by the dozen, and still his provision
bill is as large as ever.
A young lady in Western New York has
declined an offer of marraige from a wealthy
lover whose name is. Hu*scy. It is impossible
not to admire the spunk of that
woman who refuses lo be called a Huseeyfor
any man.
The Courier-Jcwnal thinks if the State
of Louisana would swap off her two -State
governments ibr a cheap dog, and then kill
the dog, she would be much happier than
she is.
"What's whiskey bringing V' inquired a
lare denier in that article.
"Bringing men to the gallows, and women
and childred to want," was the reply.
A druggist recently received the following
prescription, with a request to make it
up: "Fur Krampe: Tinct. kamfirc, won
ounce: tinct. lodenum, a little; tinct. kyann
pepper, two pen'orth; klouform, a little,
but not much, as it is a dangerous medicine*
Dose, half tenspoonful when the kramjs
conic on."
The people of New York are still demanding
rapid transit. If they will hitch the
Custom Houso officials and the members
of the late Tammany ring to a train < r
cars at one end of the city rfnd tell them
there is something to steal at the other, thiy
will have about as tapid transist as they can
possibly want.
William Lequien, a noted Parisian beggar
who has for years appealed for charity in the
streets by exibiting the stumps of two amputated
arms, was a few days ago brought to
the bar of a police station on a charge of
picking pockets. While eloquently d'aolaiiningthc
imputation he gesticulated with two
sound hands, long profitably conceuled beneath
a loose coat.
Josh Hillings says: "Whenever I find a
real handsonio woman engaged in ffiraiuin's
rights bizziuoss. then I am going to take my
hat under my arm and jine in the procession."
A Danbury woman sent, her hoy down
street for the following articles, " A bar of
soap, a piece of music entitled "Waiting at
the (late Iiovc," three needles, a feather, a
a bottle of hair oil. pound of starch, a brush.
New York Weekly, a mended earring, half
pound of caudy, ten cents' worth of lime, a
clothes line, a basket of shavings, and a paper
of ground cinnamon. What the boy
brought homo was a half pound of candy.