University of South Carolina Libraries
I I III -II 1 1 . J--J II ' 1 ' Li?jegg?gBS VOL. XXXII. CAMDBN, S. C.? THURSDAY, MARCHS7, 1873. IVO. 30 ' Tg? CAMDEN JOURNAL AN INDEPENPENT FAMILY PAPER PUBLISHED BT JOHN KERSHAW. SUBSCRIPTION RATES One year, in advance $2 60 Six months 1 50 Three months 76 fS^Trurtfieat Advertisement* must be paid n advance. ?a??????ww? Correspondence of the Jonraal. fhiAi?T.t?TOV. March IS. 1873 A somewhat protracted sojourn in "The 01 ty by the Sea," has enabled ine to Recall many pleasant reminiscences pertaining to aafe-fo/faei times, and to note the striking differences of noio and then. TVonld that I could say that there was adrantage for the present. While painfully impressed, howerer, with the tremondous evils that, like an ill-omened bird, sits and broods over the prosperity of this as of many other sister cities of the South, yet I am not disposed, as spiao are, to think that we are "totally ruined." No indeed, there is life in the old laud yet, and there it more elasticity in our Southern fibre than we oureelven are aware of. Were it net ee, we would have been crushed, ere this, by the incubus of dishonest taxation and other legionary evils that have been imposed upon us. We feel proud ofour old city as perambulating her streets we see how she has nobly *- * :?i-a I borne beneu ami a depressing IUIIUVUVC9 tuai i hare gathered at tilues as if to annihilate. Slowly but steadily she is overcoming pondcroas difficulties aud recovering her former appearance. Wise forbearance, industry and silent determination have accomplished much, aud will, in time, enable tho grand old historic town to wield once more a mighty in* fluence. There is one th?ng needed, however, to assist onr metropolis to recuperate more raniiilv and to uume the nosition of import r?j ? * aoco which should belong to her auiong the Atlantic cities. It is the assistance of the entire Stato?the duty of every village, town and oonnty to help baild her up by concent-sting the business interest in this beautifil mart. . Will our people never learn to first patronise themselves and to concentrate their advantage at home ? Do the citisens of the State of New Turk, Pennsylvania and - Massachusetts ignore their own cities and baild up ours? Why do we not follow their wise example ? It should not be claimed that Northern cities present greater advantages. * ? ?i i d. Charleston can, aira uoes at niin viiuv, pmscnt superior advantage, all things considered, t) two-thirds of our merchants, who annually nsd semhannnaHj pass bjr the attractions of visit to Northern cities. 'Our metropolis has claims on ns that should be heeded, and wc believe the day is not far distant when purchasers throughout our state will demand that attention be paid to these Vigorous prosperity onoe attained here, capital established, and reflux influence would soon extend oar entire territory. Nor are local attractions wanting; first class Hotels snd comfortable boarding-houses are prepared to furniab a warm Southern welcome; attractive stores, wholesale and retail ; public buildings of elegant styles of architecture; palatial private residences in every part of the city ; works of enterprise that would astonish some unacquainted with their existence; a beautiful harbor abouud!?/? nf ViIutnr?f? intorotf *nd the nn rivalled Battery drives and promenades? these all combine to attract and satisfy the most fastidious, and are all our own. One other item, Mr. Editor, and very important, ia the religions tone of this eity.? He who stays over sabbath?let him go where he may to h-iar the Gospel preached?will not be disappointed. Whatever his denominational predilection, he may enter any sanctuary of his choice and be unoffended; no political harangues are preached in Charleston. The citizen of Camden feels doini-?ilated in his own pew while listening to the familiar aceeots of such divines as Revs. Wightman, Johnson, and Brackett. It was our good fortune on last Sabbath morning to listen to a venerable servant of Qod, who has been for some weeks a visitor in our hospitable city, Rev. Nehemiah Adams, D. I)., of Boston, favorably known at the South for bis boldness in presenting at a time of strong political sensation, a 'South Si<|e Viow of Slavery." Wc always honor a man who dares to express his honest convictions, based upon Bible truths, when these convictions are knowu to be unpopular. Repairing to the same capacious edifice, Bethel Churcli, in the evening, we tounatbu gifted and eloquent pastor. Dr. J. T. Wightman, engaged, by request, in the delivery of a stirring Tempera it eo sermon. Feeling assured that even a report of so successful a discourse would please your temperance loving readers, I am induced to send you an imperfect synopsis of the same. The text was selected from 2nd chapter of Genesis, uTbon shalt not eat of it." felfrestraint, said the speaker, was a law applicable to our nature; it was a wise and universal law. License is not liberty; a man is not more of a freeman for being unrestrained, but less so. Even Omnipotence is compassed by a circumference of restraint, for God cannot do evil, cannot commit sin. And what is more desirable, both for individual and common good, than self-restraint, the controlling of one's liberty. Does he who locks himself within at night, thereby shutting out the midnight robber and assassin, feci that he has curtailed his liberty ? rather, has he not increased, by the security thus afforded, the freedom and enjoyment of his being within ? So should we put down the latch and bar the door against unholy appetites that would enter to consume aud destroy. The necessity of the application of this restraint to the subject of Intemperance, was most urgent; the responsibility of using alcoholic liquors being most momentous, both with regard to one's self and as to its influThn havoc of Intempcr CUW VTVt ? ?? _ m ance in our land was appalling; 200,000,000 gallonsof spirit* were annually manufactured ?a great liquid sea, whose tidal wave was rolled from the Atlautic shore, inundating in its course, the streets of cities, town and villages, swoeping over intermediate plains until its desolating force, after producing a holocaust of 100,000 lives, was expended only on the opposite coast of the Pacific. What artny could effect more desolate results ? The economic views, too, the expense of al this destruction, $500,000,000; a sum sufficient to meet the provident expenditures of nearly every good government. Then were presented graphic delineations of individual cases of suffering?the heartbroken, sacrifioed wife, who but a few years before bad, in trusting confidence, given herself to him who had sacredly promised to love, cherish and protect her ; where were thoee promises now ? and what was she bat a withered flower, crushed by tho demon that revels in the destruction of happy homes. Then followed a penetrating appeal to each and a//, to arrest the strong floodtide of ruin, by obedience to the salutary law of self restraint, so that both precept and example might have full sway. It was a happy effort for an important cause, and seemed to be highly appreciated by a large and attentive audience. M. "This Man has Brought us a List of South Carolinian. Governor Moses, in that remarkable document, "de omnibus rebus et quthus dam afiis," (his late message), has made a fearful exhibit of the ways and means of the party in power ?"the Progress and Moral Idea party." The Puritan, the African, and the Scalawag (trio nobilefrafrnm) have had it all their own Way, aud Governor Moses candidly admits that the Government is a failure. That Grand Code has turned out a very Pandora's box?there is no end to the evils to flow from it. We have "seen corruption boil and bubble" till it o'erruu the stew; laws for all faults, but faults so circumstanced that the strong statues stand like the forfeits in a barber's shop?as much in mock as mark." Millions have been wrung for the people, and spent?no-one out 01 mo ring nuuws how. Tho country has been flooded with pay certificates, do one knows for what services renderod. Offices have been bought nod sold without compunction. Bribery, corruption, drunkenness, debauchery, gambling, lying and billings-gate hare become household words, and no one is ashamed of it The Governor has put the usual amount of red in his brush, and indulges the common fustain about our magnificent waters running to waste?our splendid material dooinea to disastrous neglect?the "pulses of our advancing civilization throbbing," quoting from Tennyson's Brook, and takes a fling at Tom Jefferson for being an old fogy ?goes largely into the political economy of keeping my neighbor's cow out of my enclosure, thinks it a sore griovanco that ? little, ticky, no horn brindlc should be allow wed to poach ad Jibihim upon our preserves? touches on meteorology and climatology, stock raising, the grasses, Yankee immigration, and railroad catastrophes. Ilis excellency touches lightly upon that myth, the armed force, and complains of a limited supply of arms?docs he want another arm contract ? He wants the Judges' salaries increased, so as to be consistent with the "dignity of their position," and more amending of the jury law. A. good deal of fustian is indulged in on the common school systom and crowning all the hill tops with school houses?education the bulwark of liberty, progress, civilization ?our destiny, and all that sort of sophouiorical rhetoric. His Kxcelloncy, however, can't disguise the bald truth, that the Treasury is empty ?that tho Insane Asylum has been kept up by private charity?that the Heat'and Dumb L?. 1 ...? ?!.?? ?i,? :\HJTIUUI IlilB UVt-ll UUL III IUIIU9 11144 v 4 ni' free schools have been closed and tho teachers stand unpaid?that that beniliccnt institution, the Penitentiary, is on its last legs and has been forced to farm out, pio f><>no publico, its promising inmates?that no debt of the 4^tate has been paid and its creditors are demanding payment, while a greedy horde of hangcrson and officc-secckra stand around, like ''Oliver asking for w ore." His Excellency says that "tha passions that wcro heated in th& crucible of political antagonism are now rapidly cooling and mon are temperately viewing the situation as it ii," and he may say also that they see very few hopeful signs from the action of the Administration, so far. The promise of reform has not boen backed up by performance. But His Excellency has built again that fauious column of the Athenians and inscribed it "To time who vindicates," The grim monster, we fear, will find His Excellency forced to chagne his opinion, that the "difficulties of the situation arc not insurmountable." We very much fear that we arc only to realize the truth of that old fable we read in the old spelling book of "The Fox and the Flies," over again. The signs of the times are by no means promising. A Looker On. j I An English view of an American's Smartness. From the Saturday Review. The Alalavn question, now happily con verted into a domestic controversy in the United States, has assumed a form vhich is both amusing and instructive. It might have beeu supposed that the distribution auiong the claimants of the damages awarded at Geneva was an cosy and simple transaction. The American counsel and agents succeeded in satisfying the Arbitrators by cvidonee that the claims, ineluding interest, amounted to about 3,250,000/; and their statements must have approximately shown the separate items due to every claimant which collectively constituted the total sum. By the provisions of the Treaty of Washington, tho Arbitrators might, if they had thought fit, have left tho amount to be de- j termined by a Board of Assessors, whieh would in that case have been "appointed to ascertain and determine what claims arc valid, and what amounts shall be paid by Great Britain to the United States on ac count of the liability arisiug from failure - - ? ' ' ^ -- a. L J | (in fulfilment 01 autyj as 10 eav-u vi-kwi. The Arbitrator? chose the alterative of awarding a sum in gross, which was evidently intended both by the farmers of the Treaty and by tho Tribunal to correspond with the amount of valid claims. The Senate of the United States has accordingly passed a Bill appointing a Commission for distributing the amount to be paid under [ the Geneva Award; but it has been made to appear to the leaders of the majority in the llouse of Representatives that the agents of the United States had not during tho litigaj tion exhausted the posibilities of sharp prac! tice and litigious perversity. General But1 ler, as the organ of tho Judiciary Committee, | has roportcd to the House a Bill which practically affirms that the English Government ] was cheated, that' the Gistfa Arbitratorswere tricked, and that tho persons who had suffered injuries from the inculpated cruisers ought now to be deprived of the fruits of a fraud to which they may perhaps have boen parties. The object of the Bill is to secure for the Treasury of the United States a porm ___ _ j tion of the damages wmcn wero, in accoraance with the contention of the American counsel, awarded for injuries inflicted on private American citizens It must be admitted that General Butler is probably not influenced by patriotic cupidity in his attempt to securo for the Treasury a portion of the spoil. The amount awarded was, as he perhaps correctly argues larger than the total sum proved to be due for Direct Claims, and therefore he contends that tho surplus was after nil granted by the Arbitrators in satisfaction of the Indirect Claims which they had never taken into consideration, and which had been formerly withdrawn by the American counsel before the commencement of the inquiry. That the damages demanded for losses by American citizens wore considerably larger than the sum awarded is a consideration which was not likely to weigh with General Butler. Ho probably thinks *' -* - nn/1 cMin/tnvcfltl Ilttfinmt. tn Til III 2ft UCIIUt'IUlO uiju ravvvhwiui mv?wh*|/v ?v delude an interuatioiial Court of Arbitration redounds to the credit of any lawyer by whom it may have been practised. That a trustee should obtain damages and then refuse to pay them over to the person beneficially entitled on the ground that they are exorbitant in amount, and that thoy were obtained by misrepresentation, is a proceeding wbicn General Butler could not fall to appreciate and approve. It is well that the English nation annd Government arc wholly unconcerned with the latest aftergrowth of American smartness. It would be interesting to learn Mr. Adam's opinion on a proposal which implies that he and his colleagues were either parties to or victims of a fraud. IIow People Get Sick.?Eating too much and too fast, and swallowing imperfectly mastified food. By takiug too much fluid during meals. Drinking poisonous whiskey and other intoxicating driuks. Keeping late hours at night and sleeping too late in tho morning. Wearing clothing too tight so as to relax circulation. Wearing thin shoos. Neglecting to take sufficient exercise to keep their bauds and feet warm. Neglecting to wash the body sufficiently to keep the pores of the skin open. Exchanging the warm clothing worn in a warm room during the day for light costumes and exposure, incident to evening parties. Starving the stomach to gratify a vain and foolish passion for dress. Keeping up n constant excitement, fretting the mind with borrowed troubles. Employing cheap doctors and swallowing quack nostrums for every imaginary ill. Taking meals at irregular intervals. When Louis Napoleon had received refusals from four different courts in answers to offers of marriage, he broke a chair in a tit of passion, and said, ''Now, these gentlemen. my cousins, shall have an empress oi my own making, and they shall honor her as such,"as if she were the daughter of an emperor." The next day he proposed to Eumenie. "*' * . r~? The Last Hours of Commodore Maury. A correspondent of tho Albany Ere. Journal furnishes to that journal a letter from one who was with Commodore Maury in his last hours, and who testifies in a tender and interesting manner to the happy death of that man. We quote : The last two days of Matthew H. Maury's life were grand?a complete triumph. In perfect possession of h is faculties to the last. I wish all tho world could have seen that death, it was such a triumphant one. We sang hymns around- his dying bed, and after the last one, Friday evening?it was "Christ is risen"?he put his hands and said, slowly and distinctly: "The peace of God which passcth all understanding be with you all ?all" lie blessed every one separately, and prayed ever as fervently and in the most beautiful language. He said he would be in a moribund condition for several days. Twice Friday, we were all summoned j he would look aronnd, and if all were not in the range of his sight he would call oat the names of those whom he missed. Gazing earnestly into the face of eaeh, ho said something appropriate and affectionate, always winding up with ''You see how God has answered myprayer/I know you every one." Ha said,' "I shall retain my senses to the end. God has granted me that as a token of my acceptance. I have set my house in order. My prayers have all been answered. My children arc gathered arpnnd my bed, and now, Lord, what wait I for?" He then repeated a prayer of eleven petitions, which he wanted each of his children and grandchildren to use every day. He had composed it for himself almost forty years ago, the night after his leg was broken, and he had repeated it every night since, not missing one; and then ho prayed. "Oh Lord, touch my lipe with hallowed fire, like Isaiah's of old, that I may testify to mnrnrr ma nhn Am hilt 11 lit tll^f lUfO uuu liil.iv j wr MiW) ??M? ?... tie child in all save wickedness." He requested that when the physicians pronounced him dying he should be informed of it. As the supreme hour drew near, ho turned to his son and asked him in the language of the ruling passion, "Do I seem to.draw.my anchors?" The answer, "They are Bure and steadfast," gave him great comfort. Jast before ho expired, he said distinctly: "Lord, receive my soul," and lifting up bo* lands towards Heaven, liko a child whb wants to be taken up, calling on the name of his father. So he passed away at^ twenty minutes to one o'clock Saturday* inerning. He left a request that his funeral stanild not take place until the spring and W*h?Lhi* *, bodjf to j*. token through the Gosncn Pass, when the rhododendrons and the laurel arc in bloom, and asked us to pluck their blossoms as wc passed and shower them over his bier as we bore him to his final resting place in Fredericksburg or Richmond. A Fearful Visitor?The Paris Star relates tho following story: A M'rnc. Ilonncau, living in the Rue Descartes, was sitting in her parlor a few days since, awaiting her husband's return to dinner, whea a man of wild and haggard np pearnncc entered, and, seating himself opposite to her, addresed her in tho following terms: "I am a great doctor. I can effectually cure all headaches. I have heard that you suffer from that cause, and I am come to cure you." The lady perceiving that she had to deal with a madman, prudently seemed to fall into his humor, and asked what was his method of treatment. '-Simple enough, madaine," said he drawing a razor from his pocket; "I cutoff the head, and then, after having well cleaned it, I replace it upon the shoulders." Upon this ho pi^pared to suit the action to his words. M'me. Bonneau. with great coolness, professed her readiness to submit to the operation, but suggested that she should fetch a towel from the next room to prevent her dress from being stained. ITcr visitor assented to the reasonableness of this suggestion, and she left her room, locking the door behind her. Upon her return with sotno police officers, they found that the unfortunate maniac had cut his own throat, but not fatally. It was ascertained that he had escaped from a lunatic asylum at Clermont les Prcs, and had been vainly sought for during a whole month. IIow a Parent Plays Indian and nets the Worst of It.?A New Yorker is very much annoyed because his two boys have rend so many Indian stories that they have gone wild with anxiety to play Indian, to go on the plain hunting for noble red mon. The man wan taking a nap after dinner in his easy chair, when he was awakened by an alarming noise and a strange sensation in his head. He jumped up suddenly, and found that one of his boys, dressed in a red table cloth and his face decorated with blue paint was trying to scalp his father with a carving knife, while the other boy, attired in a blanket shawl and a roostor feather, flourished a hatchet and emitted war whoops from behind a thicket composed of two chairs and a card table. Tho man decided to put a stop to this kind of thing. So next day when tho boys were playing with bows and arrows in the garden, lie dressed himself in T IT Iiimm.il Avar tllfl an iiiuiau ciamuiv uiiu jiiuijuu v..-. ? fence with a wild, uncartyly yell, fur the purpose of frightening those children. The oldest boy however, stood is ground, and drawing an arrow to the head, in which was inserted a ten-penny nail, he buried it in the chieftain's leg before he took to flight. That night the father walked up stairs on a crutch, and flogged the family all around before he sent them to bed. lie is now , thinking of some other way to effect a cure of the sanguinary disposition of his offspring. Cincinnati Gazette. A loving swain in Maine dedicated a napkin ring "To my nlmost wifo.*' Life in Berlin. There is a lmbit of attributing the misfortunes of France, in great part, to the godlessness of French society. The atheism and religious superstition of that country pawbeen a favorite theme of many writers and'preaehers for years, and especially- since the downfall of the Kmpirc. We have been taught concerning tho refined and elegant dissipations of Parisian life, of the fashionable forms of iniquity that obtain nowhere else as in the gay capital of France, and of the self-indulgence and worldliness which had utterly corrupted the nation, and made it incapable of meeting^Germany in war. And it has been quietly inferred that the Germans are a sober, intelligeut-, reverent, and religious people, full of that vigor whioh morafprinciples, when respected and obeyed, impart. That the Germans are a well-governed .and thoroughly disciplined people: that they have a most excellent system of schools, and are intelligent; and that there is a good deal of Christian life in the land, cannot be questioned. But a very dark side of social life is declared by recent articles of eminent German writers, and it may well be questioned whether Paris was ever a wickeder citv than Berlin. Certainly Paris, under Napoleon, was an orderly and quiet city, in every portion of which one could feel secure; and iu whatever degree vice prevailed there, it was not allowed to manifest itself publicly, much less to become violent and dangerous. But those mighty men of war, who could put the whole French nation under foot, in one of the most remarkable campaigns in all history, are either enable or unwilling to make their capital and court city a safe or decent place of residence. Dr. Schwabe tells us some very startling facts. Every year more than 30.000 woman arrive in Berlin, from different parts of Germany, to find employment, and nothing is done by the authorities to preserve these thousands from tlio snares that are set for them on every hand. Domestic servants constitute sever* teen and a half per cent, of the laboring class, and of these only three lodge in- the houses where they serve. The great majority of the inhabitants of Berlin are from twenty to thirty years old, and of the larger portion arc unmarried. Illegitimate births have attained the fearful proportion of seventeen per eent. Of 23,000 fuuerals that took place in 1870. nearly 20,000 were parforuicd without any religious ceremony whatever. Gustav Freytag's Review asserts that for many years the influence of Berlin theatres has been exceedingly corrupting and baneful. Wachter declares that "every evening the popular iheatraa o?the capital trampled under foot marriage, morality, and religion, amid the exhalations of *beer and tobacco, and the laughter of tho audience." And all this goes on without any effort to check or limit it. "By all classes of people the turpitudes of the stage are frautically applauded. We ard told that men hang about civil tribunals, ready to become witnesses in suits, fnr ? nrlpp nnd that the mania for snecula tion rages like a fever everywhere. The Ansbcnjer Zritung speaks of the "Judiac spirit at Berlin, which is gnawing all souls, and subordinates all moral considerations to lucre." Not only the environs, but the heart of the city, is made dangerous by thieves and vagabonds and ruffiaus. The Berlin journals warn againsL traversing the streets by night without weapons of defence, and loudly assert the utter insufficiency of the police to protect the lives of people who may have occasion to be out of ah evening. Dunine months of last year three hundred and ninety children under fourteen years of age were imprisoned in the city gaol, and the "gamins" of Paris would seem to bo a virtuous and self-sacrificing association as compared with the notorious "Louis" of Berlin. The scenes of violence and immorality nightly witnessed in the Fricdrich strasse, one of tho principal streets of Berlin, provoked the municipal couucil recently earnestly to appeal to the emperor, praying that some measures of relief might be devised. "The dark side of Berlin" is extremely dark. Is Germany to become, in turn, intoxicated by the pride of success, so as to pluugo into a career of godlessness and sensuality, that can only end -in her complete corruption and downfall ? A Tennessee Horror.?In the adjoining county of Hancock, thero lived a family consisting of u father, mother, two sons, a daughter and son-in-law. Sotno time ago the - . l ? l _ <? ?1_ J M. father separated irorn ins rauuiy, anu wun his son John took up his abode with a woman living in or near the Hawkins county line. From this place frequent forays were made upon the old homestead, and from time to time much property was conveyed to the woman's house. They submitted patiently to those depredations until the father took away tho last horse on the place. The son, Wui. Sutton, who had remained with his mother, procured a replevin writ, and with his brother-in-law, Harnett, went to the woman's house and took possession of it. They were on the point of leaving, when tho father, Dan Sutton, came out of the house and with a rifle fired at Win. Sutton The old uinn seized an axe and split opeu the skull of his son-in-law, who sank down iu a pool of blood and expired in a few moments. The father next advanced upon Willam Sutton with axe uplifted. William drew his pistol and fired, killing the old man instant ly. In the mean tinio John Sutton seizing Harnett's pistol, closed in with his brother. Thus tliev fought muzzle to muzzle, till cverv shot was expended. After knocking oneii other with the butt ends of their pistols, they throw them aside and drew their bowieknives. In a short time John lost one of his hands and another stroke from William cut off his chin, and thus the bloody affray ended. John is thought to be dying. Willaim was hurl in several places, but has uiauaged to escape?R<?jrrxriffr (7V??.) Ry orta-. ADVERTISING RATES. Space, | i.jm . J SM UM Jit. 1 square 3 00 G 00) 8 06 12 0816,000 2 square* 6 00 9 00 12 00 10 00 2fl 00 8 squares 9 00| 13 OOj 10 V0 24 00 86 08 4 squares i 12 00 16 002000 80 00. 42 00 . (column 16 00 19 00| 24 60 84 00 60 00 column 20 00) 80 00 40 00 56 00! 80 01 column 30 OOj 50 OOj 00 00j 90 00jl60 00 All Transient Advertisements will be charged Ovr Don. a a per Square for the f vet and Sevan-~ tv.vive Cbnts per Square for each subsequent ' insertion Single insertion, $1 60 per'sqtlaef. OUR CHIP-BASKET ** 1 a ? ?i? Husbandry-c-Mormonisui. . The best color for faces?Water eoJor. A maiden's speech'?"Ask papa.** ' -1 *' > / . A Western jury brought in a teraicl or 'justifiable breach of promise.""'* - !% V "Excuse baste and a bad pen/' as the pig said when he broke oat. '.< *"? ^ Dying for love?Coloring your moqsfschi ~ * to please a woman- . Would you rather eo. through li giddy waits with a pretty girl than go through a pretty waits with a giddy girl V We pause s for'a reply. The very latest?Why is love like a 8ooteh ? plaid ? Because it is alt stuff and often." crossed. v. } ^ . A "Boston woman speaks of her hushaid . as her $3,000 darling, that being the amount of his life policy. ' * V "Industry must prosper/' as the man sail, > when holding the baby for his wife to chop , wood. . ... va s - . r c.' . " Have you beard my last speeeb ?" asked. a political haranguer of a wft "I hope so/' was the reply. ; B ^ - C * . r A man in Texas said be could drink a. quart of Cincinnati whiskey, and he did it, Tho silver mounting an his coffin j|sl eeet $13.75. - ^ Miss Sophie Barney took a premium atthu Montgomery, Ala., fisir as "the young woman who would make the best wife for a poor man.; "Don't you remember the uextrVord in "your lesson? It's the word after oheese. Whet comes after cheese f "Mouse V tri umphantly exclaimed the poxaled pupil. The Louisville Ledger says in some portions of the South it is wcoming dangerous to use even the word "niggardly," the nub* : atitote therefor being "coloredlj." A grave older once forbade the baansef a certain young couple, because he had "ja- ' teded Hannah for himself." That's'what, was the matter with Hannah. ' One of Brigham Young's ohildren got lost the other night, and Brigkaui wad half an hour calling the roll before he could UH which one it was. v Vermont papers are boasting of eight old farmers in Franklin county, who live within two miles of -each other; aad who have had lint *> ( tea. A gentleman coming into tha room of Dr. Barton, told him that Mr. Vowel was dead. What, said lie; Vowel dead?.Let us bo thankful that it was neither U nor I. An exchange, in announcing the death of _ a lady, says that sho 'dived fifty years with her husband, and died in confident hope of a better life." ~ v A man who was told by a clergyman to romeuiber Lot's wife, replied that he had | trouble enough with his own, without rcuiembering other men's wives. A parent who has fifteen daughters has poisoned his dog, taken the locks off the do ri and hung ropo ladders over his door yard fence by the dozen, and still his provision bill is as large as ever. A young lady in Western New York has declined an offer of marraige from a wealthy lover whose name is. Hu*scy. It is impossible not to admire the spunk of that woman who refuses lo be called a Huseeyfor any man. The Courier-Jcwnal thinks if the State of Louisana would swap off her two -State governments ibr a cheap dog, and then kill the dog, she would be much happier than she is. "What's whiskey bringing V' inquired a lare denier in that article. "Bringing men to the gallows, and women and childred to want," was the reply. A druggist recently received the following prescription, with a request to make it up: "Fur Krampe: Tinct. kamfirc, won ounce: tinct. lodenum, a little; tinct. kyann pepper, two pen'orth; klouform, a little, but not much, as it is a dangerous medicine* Dose, half tenspoonful when the kramjs conic on." The people of New York are still demanding rapid transit. If they will hitch the Custom Houso officials and the members of the late Tammany ring to a train < r cars at one end of the city rfnd tell them there is something to steal at the other, thiy will have about as tapid transist as they can possibly want. William Lequien, a noted Parisian beggar who has for years appealed for charity in the streets by exibiting the stumps of two amputated arms, was a few days ago brought to the bar of a police station on a charge of picking pockets. While eloquently d'aolaiiningthc imputation he gesticulated with two sound hands, long profitably conceuled beneath a loose coat. Josh Hillings says: "Whenever I find a real handsonio woman engaged in ffiraiuin's rights bizziuoss. then I am going to take my hat under my arm and jine in the procession." A Danbury woman sent, her hoy down street for the following articles, " A bar of soap, a piece of music entitled "Waiting at the (late Iiovc," three needles, a feather, a a bottle of hair oil. pound of starch, a brush. New York Weekly, a mended earring, half pound of caudy, ten cents' worth of lime, a clothes line, a basket of shavings, and a paper of ground cinnamon. What the boy brought homo was a half pound of candy.