VOL. XXXII. CAMDEN, S. C., THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 1873. NO. 24
THE CAMDEN JOURNAL. _
AX
INDEPENDENT FAMILY PAPER
PUBLISHED BY
JOHN KERSHAW.
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A THRILLING STORY.
The Ice Gorge in PennsylvaniaA
correspondent of tlie Baltimore American
describes some of the scenes on the Susquehanna
and its tributaries during the recent
freshet. We copy a portion of his letter
:
Arriving at the mouth of the Conestoga
we surveyed the ufisolate scene, which socuied
more fit to be in the polar regions than
in the fertilo Pennsylvania valleys. The
abutments of the railroad bridge were each
A HUGE HAMMOCK OF ICE ;
large cakes were piled upon the tops. On
one was a large irregular parallelogram of
ice, weighing several tons, which was cu
riously poised upon one ahglc. reminding
tho spectator of the famous rocking stones
We scrambled back, and having, by inquiry,
satisfied myself that the feat was possible,
accouipa'nied by a guide, I essayed to
cross the gorge in the Conestoga.
Providing mySelf with a long pole, I
scrambled over the huge cakes of ice, which
twisted and turned in ever}* conceivable di-11
reetion, presenting an inconceivably rough
and irregular surface. There was a great i
depression toward the middle, which was al- ]
most level. There was another arduous as- i
cent on the other side, and scrambling along i
the bank I climbed up a steep bluff, which i
jutted out into a point between the Susque- i
hanna and the Conestoga. The snow upon j
the sides afforded some some foothold, hut I i
momentarily expected my treading to~ slip ]
from under me, precpitating nie far down in ,j
the ice gorge. My pains were rewarded (
when 1 attained the summit of the hill, for I
had there a comprehensive view of the situa- i
tion, which enabled me to apprehend in j
some degree the vastness of the gorge It 1
was a scene of frigid desolation su^h as never
was before seen no the Susquehnna river, j
Below mo, upon the east, was Safe Harbor. '
On cither side of the Conestoga, the snow |
had laid its white mantle over the jagged <
edges of ice, and had destroyed its terrible i
aspect. There was some sublimity in the t
view, although my miud continually revert- \
ed to those individual cases of distress which, \
chaining the fancy down to the hard facts of
the case prevented that concrete apprehen- I
9ion which, impressing one with the vast- I
cess and magnitude of the scene,.produces a v
feeling of awe. The snow-covered hills, the ; i
ice er.tendine up the creek as far as eye can I
reach, lav glistening under the glorious sun- j
light, making a j t
BEAUTIFUL SCENE. 1 c
It was on the west side of the creek that 1 ?
the greatest damage had been done; stables, t
fences, outbuildings, were jammed and crush- f
cd together; houses stood surrounded by *
ice, so that their inhabitants, cutting away j i
ieo from nbnnt. the doors. Stood below the ! f
level as if down in a cellar. ' t
The water had piled the icc in lusty ridges j ^
on both sides of the creek, and retreating, ' j
had made a deep hollow Between. A road ]
ran along either side of the creek, but was t
now buried under thirty feet of ice. The ; (
front porches of houses were filled with ice, | 1
large cakes being even jammed Into the ^ t
windows. There was a considerable quantity t
of lumber mixed in through the ice, some ' t
rafts having been brought up into the creek, t
as it was supposed that it would be a safe |
place for them. Through this snow valley 1
the wind rushed and whistled over the hill- i i
tops. It was bitter cold, as the suii acting ,
upon the snow lowered the temperature. On j i
the west side of the hill was the Susquehan- i
na and the islands in it. Kits' Island, iuime
diately opposite, is a body of land one hund- I
red and twenty-seven acres in extent, and is :
farmed by John Ells, whence its local appli- ?
cafion. The farin-house is in the centre, ,
upon the highest part of the island. This ,
island, unless otherwise informed. I would t <
have taken for a p3rt of the gorge, for it was
ENTIRELY COVERED HY THE ICE,
the roof of the house and the tops of the few
trees being the only things discernable. lie- |
low it was Brush Island, the outlines of .
which I could not trace; it was covered by j i
the ice and made part of the gorge. Still
further below was Mundorf's Island, upon '
which Jacob Warfel resided. The house j
was upon high ground and escaped T could
see a desirable trnct of land covered by large
trees, which were above th ? ice The river i
had cut a channel through the gorge, above 1
which the ice rose from fifteen to thirty feet
high, sheer and straight as walls. The gorge 1
extended as far up the river as my eyes could
reach. At Turkey Point, a few miles above,
the waters were dammed up. Hooding the lit- '
tlo town of Washington. The water rose |
twenty-five or thirty feet, and flooded the
cabins built along the line of the Columbia ;
and Port Deposit railroad for the aceouiuio
datim of the workmen, utany of whom had i
to take boats and enter the upstairs windows
in order to savo their effects. The losses in
Safe Harbor were heavy ; the damage done '
on the west side of the C'onestoga alone is
estimated at over 810,000, and u great deal
of damage Was done on the cast side also.? '
The loss is greater than in 1865. when the
dam across the Susquehanna at this point
was swept away and the Safe Harbor iron
works suspended operations in consequence.
Descending from the hill, I made some inquiry
about to sec if 1 could see any of the
familv of John Kils and rret the particulars
of their escape. After some search I succeeded
in obtaining a recital of their trials,
and the plain, unvarnished tale vividly impressed
me with the
ISRKAT nr.ROISM DISPLAYED.
As the waters began to rise the in mates
i.f the house became very much alarmed, and
great anxiety for their safety was felt <>n
the main land. On Sunday morning Alonza
Jlerline. a young man who was living with ,
the family, made a perilous excursion over j
the gorge, whi?.h had not then risen, and I
cninc to Safe Harbor to solicit aid, in order '
to remove the family. As the waters began
to rise, uoonc dared to go, but Frank Dablcr, j
Theodore Klls, a son of John Klls. together i
with llcrlino. waited upon the hill, watching
their opportunity to help tlieui. The family
upon the island consisted of John Ells, his
wife, two daughters and u son six years of
age.
As the waters began to rise the women
wcro wild with terror, and the anxious
watchers could hear theui wailing and crying
out. At 2 o'clock the great rush cauie,
when the island was totally submerged-. Two
horses and eight head of cattle, which wore
in the stable, were at once drowned, as well
as a number of hogs. Two heifers swam
through the ice and water and got upon a
finl- nf atrotp fndfter- Th? risi-iif ice carried
the rick fifteen or twenty yards up to the
house, and they escaped to the porch of the
house. The island was qgted for the great
number of rabbits which ran wild upon it.
These and a large nuvib?r of muskrats crowded
into the house as the water rose, perfectly
insensible to the presence of man, so
frightened were they by the frigid torrents
that rolled around. After the rise Mary
Ells, a girl of sixteen, hung a table-cloth
out of a window to let people know
T4IF.Y WERE LIVING.
John Ells now thought the worst was
over, and was reluctant to to risk an escape;
but Mary said they might as well be drowned
in the gorge as in the house, and the importunities
of the women prevailed upon him
to make the attempt. They started out.
jcrambling over tho ics, fearing every moment
that it would move again and crush
them. The men watching on the hill hur
ned toward them and met them; they tound
them very much exhausted, and Mr Ellss.
had almost to be carried. They crossed the
s;orge in thirty-five minutes, scrambling
over the jagged edges of the ice as hastily as
possible. They were bruised and cut when
they got to land, but the daring deed was
?afcly accomplished. Susan Ells, who had
been living at Safe Harbor, had been almost
frantic with grief, and the whole town was
in painful suspense until they were saved,
l'heir losses were very severe; two crops of
tobacco, whicb had been stored away in the
lellar, the stock, damage to buildings, farm
mplcments, Ac., will amount to over S5000,
he greater portion of which, however. faHs
ipon the company who owns the Tsland, of
vhich company, however, Ellis is a member.
The ice is gorged for miles above; no
jody of water can possibly can clear it out
>efore April. If freshets come, the backrater
will overflow the river banks, spreadng
destruction along the line of the stream.
An old Roman method of punishing exrcmo
criminals by-hurling them down preipices
is still in practice, it seeuis, in San
darino, a little Italian Republic in the tnounain
fastnesses of the Appcnines, which,
rem its inaccessible position, has maintained
its independence when greater powcis in
uorc exposed positions were obliged to yield
o the great centralizing influences now at
rork in Southern Europe. For nearly fifty
rears, no murder had been committed at
?an Marino, until a couple of months since,
.'elicita Pallavicini, a beautiful young wonan
of twenty-two was convicted of nmrlering
her illegitimate child. She was eary
left an orphan, and more sinned against
,han sinning, was led astray by a Roman
hief and gambler, who, after first implicaing
her in a robbery, for which she was sent
m rtriosin /lacr?rfr?i1 1 inr rFhn nnltfto QOitf linr
V.V.W.VU ..v.. ^w... ..~.
uuck to San Marino, and soon hcr?child was
born, to die by its mother's hand. When
tried for her offence, she seemed wholly iulifferent
to what was going on, and even
while the judge was pronouncing sentence,
until he spoke the words, "Prepare to meet
your doom; your last hour has come." Then
?he broke into wiU screams and begged for
mercy, but the Judgcsshook their heads and
said to the officers, " Take her to the gorge
[>f Feri." She fought desperately and abu*
scd the priest who sought to administer
spiritual consolation, until she was bound
hand and foot and carried horror-stricken to
the precipice. Then as the priest said the
last prayer for mercy, two officers lifted her
and dropped her into the abyss. A second
after, lie n ?dy struck the rock at the bottom
-A' .1 I -11
in uiu pngVy uuu 1111 ?ua uvcr.
A Mvch-Marreid Woman.?There is
a woman in Washington who has buried
five husbands. Recently she married a
sixth. I'pon the day of the wedding,a man
called at the house oi'the groom, asked for
that gentleman, and then proceeded to uieasureMiis,body
with a tape lino. The infatuated
groom entertained an idea this migth, perhaps,
be a man sent around by his tailor.
After the ceremony in church, however, the
husband was surprised to observe this samo
person standing in the vestibule and winking
furiously at the bride as the party came
out to the carriages. Just as they were
starting off the mysterious being put his bead
into the carriage window, and whispered to
the bride : "(lot a ready-made one that i'll
just suit him! Beautiful lit?beautiful!"
Whcu the happy mun demanded the name
of the intruder, the bride blushed, and said
she believed he was some kind of and undertaker.
Then the mtm was not so happy,
lie was hardly liappy, at all. and a certain
gloom seemed to overcast the honeymoon.
1'crhaps the undertaker was too prompt.
But still, we like to see a man take an inter
CSl 111 IMS IIUSlllCSS.
Several years ago a dinner was given in
tlie A>tor House, at which the speeches
touched upon some of" the important interests
of the day. The unsophisticated Horace
noticed the banquet editorially, winding up
with a sharp allusion?to the convivial character
of the party, naming lli idsick and
champagne as among the liquors disposed of.
When he entered the editorial room tliu next
morning several editors were at work who
had ii >ticed their chief's amusing blunder.
Mr. Charles A. Ihina. then ?*i:?na?rii,?^ editor
of the Tribunr, rallied him upon his innocence
in making llcidsick and champagne
two wines. Looking blandly ujion his coworkers,
Mr. (ireeley rclorte >: uI)id I do
that'! Well. 1 guess 1 nin the only yiuu in
this nflice that could have made that mistake."
. *
V
THE EASTERN QUESTION.
. Vienna reports'of a very recent date express
tlie opinion which prevails in the Austrian
capital with regard to the Russian
march in Central Asia, and its consequences,
in the following words:
w a
Russia is pursuing her grand aim in Asia
at once in a-diplomatic, military, ecclesiastical.
commercial :vnd civilizing point of view.
A Russian proverb says: "Where date trees
thrive not neither thrives Mahomedanism."
There may be some truth in this adage. Re
this as it may, Russia's advances towards
Asia and towards India excites the liveliest
interest in Viennese military and scientific
circles. An unintcrmmittcnt urnJ earnest
stufly is being made of the subject. It is
here held that Russia is at present advancing
toward Central Asia and India with
the same unilinching perseverance and consistency
with which, during a twenty years'
war. she not only subjugated but absolutely
annihilated or dispersed the independent
peoples of the Caucasus, whose assimilation
was found to be impracticable.
Russia'sjnsatiable love of conquest, her
far sightedness and perseverance, are doubtless
of a nature to inspire alarm, while on
the other hand these characteristics arc not
the less entitled to a certain degree of admiration.
In the same way that the miners
colore a country in the hope of discovering
veins cf ore, the Russians scientifically examine
and explore those countries which
they intend to occupy, and long before the
occupation takes place these examinations
and explorations arc set on foot and continued
without ceasing. The country round
about, and especially in the southern part of
the Caspiau sea, and between the latter and
the sea of Aral, has not only been carefully
surveyed, but also leveled. The river valley
along the lower Sir-Daria (Jaxartes) is
already entirely under Russian dominion,
and as the coai veins which are supposed to
bo there are discovered, steamboat communication
with Khiva will forthwith be established
and also on the sea of Aral. It is
well known that steamers can ascend far tip
the Amu-Dana, (Oxur.) One thing is apparently
certain, namely, that no known power
can stop the progress of Russia's dominion
and her gradual but steady advance in
Asia as fur as the rivers extend which flow
into her inland seas
These streams touch very nearly to the
llindu-koosh mountains, and here there are
neither geographical or natural boundaries
adapted to the formation of independent j
States There is no possibility ot establishing
any sort of commodious intercourse be- '
twecn these vast plains and India, while with
tiie aid of the new lines of Communication
which arc now completed, these immense ,
territories will naturally fall into the hands j
of Russia. Tho seuii-noinadic Mohainmc- \
dan inland States in three distinct parts owed
their existence chiefly to the simple fact i
that no one interfered with or menaced
them. But nowadays in the estimation of
these peoples the Russians arc being regarded
as representatives not only of an im-j
mcusely superior military, but also of a civilizing
power. To this circumstance may
be attributed a great portion of the irrcsisti-1
bility of her presage among them.
Vaccination.?The following brief ex-!
tract is from an article in tho last Boston
? ? " ? ? " i ' ? il.~ I
iuemc(u ana nurgiccu .journal upon uic
subject of vaccination. The Journal is very 1
high medical authority in this country, and j
we add that the recent prevalence of a ma- \
lignant type of small-pox in Boston is exci-1
ting an unwontod degree of professional attention
to the subject:
The followiug propositions are offered as :
matters of belief, and some of them matters '
of record:
1. Without vaccination, one death in ten
from all causes would be the result of small
pox.
2. Without vaccination, nineteen out of
twenty would have small pox.
3. Without vaccination, sixty seven per ;
cent'of the cases of small pox would be fa- [
tul.
4. With vaccination, not two per ecut of
the inhabitants will take the small pox.
5. With vaccination, the percentage of
deaths from small pox is only about eight of
the two per cent, who will take it.
G. A larger percentage of those who have
had small pox will have the secondary disease
than those who have been vaccinated.
That is to say. vaccinia is a better prevention
in varioloid than small pox is
7. Humanized virus is more likely to take
than the original virus from the cow.
8. Humanized virus, whether it takes or
not, does not produce such violent constat u-,
> tional symptoms as primary cow virus does, j
D. It is not proved that either humanized
virus or primary cow virus is the better in
its protective results.
1". There are certain individuals who do !
not seem susceptible of variola.
11. There aio certain individuals who do |
not seem susceptible of vaccination.
| 1-. The taking of small pox after vaeci(
notion is no proof that a second vacciuath n '
; would have succeeded.
Id A successful ro vaccination is no proofi
that 1 ho individual re-vaccinatcd would have
. taken small-pox.
1 f OW M EX K'(I M A X ,\i i F.S 1T.?Si illlC Was hinpton
gossip about the rival railway schemes
in Mexico, herewith printed, is flavored with
.genuine Americanism. It is gravely asserted
that the representatives of one of the contesting
companies lost $.'{(10,000 while playing
"poker with a party of t'ongres^tiien.
and that they immediately after got their
scheme through (' ingress. The inference is |
that the loss at cards was a trick to cover
the transfer of a bribe, and that the game
wasn't on the square." Investigating (.'out'
iniuoo are not in vogue in Mexico.
Sarcasm as an Accomplishment.
Sarcassi lias it uses. Sp have 'pistols,
bowie-knives, and policemen's clubs. The
traveler on Montana highyways likes to have
an assortment of fire-arms and cutlery. So
there are occasions Vhcn sarcasm is an excellent
weapon. V>'c all have seen an obstreperous,
pompous, overbearing man who
needed to have his head amputated?figuratively
speaking. And wc have seen the person,
some gentle-voiced manor woman doubtless,
who knew how to do it. Quick, kneen,
and glittering was the Wade of wit by which
tlio imnnrtinent fellow was beheaded : and
you could only laugh and applaud when it
was done. It was needed to be done for
the protection of society from an outlaw.
When sarcasm serves police purposes it is
admirable, and there are some people who
arc at once benevolent and sarcastic, who
are too noble to use this dangerous weapon
irpon people that do not deserve it, but who
take an exquisite pleasure in finishing the
fellow that overbearingly treads on everyone
about him. We know one or two ladies in
particular whose biting sarcasm is an inestimable
blessing, a shelter to the weak, and
a certain destruction to the oppressor.
But the sarcastic people who use their
gift for the good of their kind are precious
tew. Generally speaking, the most intolerable
man or woman in company is the man
or woman who thinks it is the most delightful
thing in the world to hurt other people
with the poisoned arrowsof ill-natured speech.
XTM. -i />nll oonnnocoti/ n 1C ilrtfltll
t? IlUt SUVll Utupit" Villi V'MI ? VI.7UHV1I W umikii
to their victims. Tndccd, the pleasures of a
sarcastic person are iudentical with the re
fined joy of a party of urchins pelting a pond
of frogs to death The frogs cannot help
Themselves, and it is such fun to kill them !
For, if you will take notice, the man of
biting speech, never "takes a feller of his
size," as the boys have it. People whose
words are of the aqua fort is sort generaiiy
Iiavc no scruples in selecting victims easily
handled. But the dog who c. n whip the
town is immediately well-bchived when a
bigger and more active dog cojkjs into his
beat. And it is always.dclightful to see a
pretty tyrant who has reigned by the terror
of what his associates (or hers) have felt of
the severity of speech always at command?
it is always delightful to see such an one
come up" with. Let another person of
superior gifts in the direction of saying mean
things in a witty way. ?mc into the circle
of the one whose sceptre is a sharp tongue.
How uiild the sarcastic one becomes! Mild
to his superior, while he wreaks his vengencc
on those who ?re weak?rather who arc not
his couals in verbal bullying.
For a scrt of barbarous verbal bullying it
i:;. ToinHtfrvrks and bowic-knieves are not
carried now-a-dyys, but the savage spirit is
by no means extinct, and people arc tomahawked
and bowie-kniyed in nearly every
company. And there arc boastful social
savages, who tell over the bitter things 'they
have said, who show the scalps hanging at
their belts in the spirit of the true Apaches.
When Mr. John Randolph." of Roanoke,
stood on the floor of the House, the terror of
all weaker tncn.it was the spirit of his Indian
great-grandmother, I'ocohontus, that gave
edge to his word. When a feeble gentleman
remarked dcprecatingly, "Mr. Randolph. I
passed your house to day," and Randolph
squeaked back at him. "I hope you alw^js
will, sir !" the sarcastic man felt the same
- . . I 1 I?
sort or savage joy mat. oi-i ruwuaunu nuuiu
have had in braining his captive, John
Smith. But there is many a savage making
deadly and incessant war on the complacency
of his fellows who has not excuse of an Indian
parentage.
Thetc are worse men and meaner women
than these Apaches of the drawing room.
There are the savages of the household ;
men who arc shock* d at reading an account
of wife-beating in England, but who are
guilty of a sort of incessant pretty torment of
wife and children, which must be vastly
worse than an acca.-ional beating with a
stout tick. And then they excuse themselves
on the ground that it is all done for
fun ; it is only play. As if anything could
be more selfish and dcvlish than the getting
of one's amusement at the expense ol'anoth"
* 1 lV * ' "?"1 oltnt*.
er's peace01 UIIIM. mvear mr>\c uuu
ish :i woman, and then let it beyour most exquisite
pleasure to torture her with an incessant
lire of uican witticisms ami small ridicule.
"But she shouldn't bo so sensitive."
A wife beater might suggest that she needn't
make such a fuss?she shouldn't be so sensitive.
It is the sensitiveness of the victim that
makes sarcasm amusing. Husbands are not
the onlyo.ies who destroy the peace by irritating
sarcasm. It is especially the offensive
weapon of some smart women?who
never seem to know In w they manatre to overthrow
their own domestic happiness by what
they call playfulness.
The young man. who, early in married
life begins to say teasintr things just for fun,
is not only s elfish and cruel, but is like one
setting fire to his house for amusement. It
is very expensive play And many a man,
and many a woman too, has waked up in after
years to the consciousness of having
trifled away the great happiness of life.
There is no such prodigality as that which
wastes the domestic peace of a lifetime for
the sake of a little ungenerous amusement
at the expense of the wounded self-love of a
husband or wife. And what shall we say of
the parent who finds liis pleasure in annoying
his children with cutting remarks?
How many children are by this means
alienated for life from tluir homes! Mow
many sensitive ones are dishcarled !
\dvancing civilzation, which has abolished
the rack and thumb screw, which has put
away the pistol and howie knifes, will some
day abolish the finer savagery of sarcasm.
And let us hope that in jtiic good-breeding
of that latter day, wit will he no cover for
meanness, smartness no excuse for malignity;
that the man who airs his smartness by saying
an unkind thing will he socially abolished.
unless he can show that lie spoke in
self-defense or in a moment of "temporary
insanity."
J BISMARCK'S RESIGNATION.
Correspondence of the New York World.
London, December 28.
I have advices from Berlin from a source
in which I have great confidence to the effect
that the resignation of Prince Bismarck
moans nothing loss than that the
great chancellor has received a heavy check
and defeat. I am assured that the report
t.hnf frhic dnfrtnf nnil /lno tfi thf? Jlh
sence, through illness, of the crown prince is
entirely false. This report makes out that
the crown prince is the especial friend ajid
supporter of the chancellor; but I am told so
far from this being the case, the truth is that
his imperial highness agrees with his mother,
his wife and the other members of the
family, in viewing with alarm tho conflict
with the catholic church which Bismarck
has urged on, and in desiring to "weau the
emperor from his submission to Bismarck's
will. In this they have now succeeded, says
my informant, and it is probable that the
fight with the church will now be quietly
abandoned. Bismarck attempted to make
the Prussian cabinet entirely subservient to
himself?but this did not suit the other
ministers nor the king either; and when Bismarck,
suddenly recoyering from his preten
ded illness when he saw his scheme for
swamping the house of peers defeated, has.
tened to Berlin and tried to make the emperor
see through his spectactes, he foond himanlP
faa lofo TVia /?Anrf tii tho
DWI* *<W 1HVV>? A UV VUUl Vj VUV V<il|Jl VUUj vuv
crown ^princess, the king's old friends, the
other ministers, and the king's own judgment
wore all against him. They all saw
his policy would alienate from the throne
the nobility, the gentry, the clergy Lutheran
as well as Catholic, and all the conservative
interests in the kingdom; and the old emperor
put down his foot and said he would
go no further in the path that Bismarck had
marked out for him. The chancellor then
offered to resign. " lie did not believe that
the emperor would accept it," says my informant;
he believed that the emperor would
become alarmed, and "beg hiin to retain his
1 office at any price. But the old man went
out the room for a few minutes and consulted
with Augusta, who was in an adjoining
chamber, and when he came back his mind
was quite made up. Bismarck might go?
! his health was not strong enough to bear
the double burden of the empire and the
kingdom; he had better be relieved from
the work of taki ng care of Prussia, and give
himself reat for a while." You will see how
; important and significant is this view of the
j case.
Debts of the Southern States.?The
following are the debts of the Southern
States as the minority Ku Klux report makes
them out. The contingent indebtedness is
added to the present indebtedness:
Alabama?Thirty.eight and one-third millions?an
increase of thirty-two millions
' cincc the war.
Arkansas?Ninteen and three-quarter millions?an
increase of fifteen miliions.
Florida?Fifteen and three-quarter millions?wholly
incurjod since the war.
Georgia?Forty-four millions?an increase
i #iT fnrltf.Ann millions
Louisiana?Forty-one millions?an increase
of thirty-one millions.
North Carolina?Thirty-five millions?an
increase of twenty-four millions'.
South Carolina?Twenty-nine millions? 1
an increase of twenty-five millions.
Mississippi?one and three-quarter mil
lions?wholly increase.
Tennessee?Forty-five and a half mil-1
lions?an increase of fourteen millions. ' I
Virginia?Forty-five millions?an increase !
of fourteen millions.
Tobacco and Liquor?Our country. '
men spend more money for the luxuries than
for the necessaries of life. It is no wonder
that many people are poor when their hard
earnings are wasted on indulgcncics which j
. do harm instead of good. Bread is the great;
staple of food, and 8200.000,000 were spent j
last year for flour to feed our people. But
the tobacco sold in the country) for chewing ,
and smoking and snuff cost 8-1)0,000.000; |
I about seven dollars for every man, woman
! and child.
This is bad enough, but the cost of intoxicating
liquors consumed in 1870, was $600.000,000,
averaging nearly twenty dollars to
cvciy man. woman and child. A very largo
amount of this is used in poor families, and
I reduces them to want and wretchedness.
If the young people of the land would re'
fuse to touch liquor or tobacoo, this fearful
extravagance would soon cense and the
wealth of the country increase with marvelI
lous rapidity.? Far hit's and Mechanic*'
j Journal.
The Way the Knm.isii Dance.?A
writer iu a London journal girds at the j
solemn, funeral way in which Englishmen !
dance. In liis eyes the majority look as if a j
dress-coat were the tunic of Nesaus, and
treasure up their words as if precious stones
issued lroui their mouths when they speak.
Moreover, they evince a remarkable dispositions
to put themselves in their own pockets,
and they fidget with their hands without
ceasing. Something of this might be saved
by the taking up stairs the fiat hat under
the arm in the French fashion ; but this they
will not do. They enter a quadrille with
a whalebone stiffness, a lugubrious air
with which they might go to the stake, and
the rarali')- suit they execute in a way that
would send even an undertaker to an early
grave with laughter. And when they do
talk they raiely get beyond the unhappy
weather. It'these be the manners of the
ball, what, oh what is the English funeral
like?
A St. 1<ouis gentleman, took a room at a
t'hieago boarding house recently, and was
aroused early the following morning by the
chambermaid, who remarked that, as it was
near time to set the breakfast table, she
would have to trouble him for the top sheet.
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OUR CHIP-BASKET.
to*--- : -- i.1 1 f OTKM.
vv lieu is a ucuspapui vuc suaijsvot/ . vv uvu
it's filed.
In the country they blow a horn before
dinner?in town they take one.
One New York teacher puts her pupils
through a fire-escape drills.
Alexis is flirting with the slant-eyed Japanese
girls. Tut, tut, Aleck. .- ' *
Why is a sick cab-horse like a bad play ?
Because it won't run and can't ilraic.
Why. do honest ducks dip th'eir heads on- *
der the water ? To liquidate their little bills.
A Leavenworth editor sat down in a reserved
seat already occupied by a hornet. He stands
up when scizzoring his editorials now.
Luther Lamb, of Winslow, Me.; lately
* ? ? .? 1 _ xL!_J
celebrated bis golden wedding wun nu? miru
wife. He has raised a flock of fifteen Lambs.
Boston belles are easily known by the heavy
boots tliey wear, and their fondness for
onions and corn on the cob.
Prof. Agassiz says that "trilobites are not
any more closely related to phyllopodes than
to any other entomostraco or to the isopod."
A worthy old farmer, who was being worried
in his cross-examination by a lawyer in
Maine, exclaimed : ''Look here, squire, don't
you ask a goo.d many foolish questions?"
A noble Chicagoan's first thought when
his house took fire last week, was for his
mother-in-law, whom he saved from the pdyl
of a burning staircase by throwing her out
of the third story window.
A gentleman lately entered a shop in
which books and various miscellaneous articles
were for sale, and asked the shop man if
ho had Goldsmith's Greece. No, said he,
but we have some splendid hair oil.
When you have a bone on your plate, and
arc obliged to take it up in your fingers,
don't neglect to mention, that '-fingers were
made before knhvs and forks." The novelty
of the remark will strike the company
very happily.
? xt! at* oovtt
JY bMUllU illUilUU ui VT ncanauu) oun
a rabbit run into a hollow logv and took it
into his bead to crawl after it. When he
had got inside, the log began to roll down
hill. On arriving at the bottom he was considerably
bruised, aud didn't catch the rabbit
after all.
"Why, Bridget," said her mistress, who
wished to rally the girl, for the amusement
of the company, upon the fantastic ornament
-cf a large pie, "did you do this? you're quite
an artist; how did you do it?" "Indadc,
mum, it was myself that did it," replied
Bridget. "Isn't it pritty, mum ? I did it
with your false teeth, mum."
Said a Baptist to a Methodist, "I don't
like your church government. It isn't sim-'
pie enough. There's too much machinery
about it." "It is true," replied the Methodist,
"ve have more machinery than you;
but then, you sec it doesn't take near so
mnch water to run it."
When a Maine man has a too talkative
wife he tells her he is going to Ansananquatasgowmonogotonago
hunting, and in his ab
scncc as his friends call at the house and inquire
his whereabouts. When he returns
the faithful wife is exhausted, doesn't want
to speak for a month.
^ London detective put his head into an
omnibus one day, just as it was starting off,
with the remark, "passensers will do well to?
look ont for their pocket books. There are
two monitors of the swell mob in this' bus."
Thereupon a grave-looking old man with eyeglasses
and a gold-headed cane hastily got
out. saying, "Tf that's the case I won't go in
this 'bus." lie was followed by a clericallooking
gentleman with a white choker, who
remarked that he "wouldn't ride in such
company." And then tho detective closed
the door and shouted to driver, "all right;
drive on ; they've got out."
"The voice of woman gentlemen."said a
romantic individual, in a late argument in a
beer saloon?"the voice of woman.no matter
how much some of 3-011 may sneer at the
sentiment, exorcises 11 soothing, an inspiring,
a hollowing influence upon the ear of man;
comforts him in affliction and?." " Tom,
you rascal!" exclaimed his wife, at this moment
showing herself at the door, " conic,
you loitering scamp, leave these worthless
fellows to themselves. Oh! when I get you
home, won't you catch it? that}*ou will.
The following waifs have been thrown
ashore bv the ccntennarian tide: Mrs. Tozer,
residing in the town of Athens, Me., is
107 years old; knits stockings without spectacles.
John Boyd, colored, l/ouisville, Ky.;
llli; chews and smokes; third set of teeth
coming; two cords of wood before dinner.
Sarah Flanders. 105, Macon. (Ja.; hale and
heart)-; engaged to be married to Luke Cozens.
101. of the same place; temperance and
anti-tobacco. James Tyler, Chicago, 105,
lately whipped his son (leorge Tyler, aged
80, for impudence; lined $5. Mar)- VI alters,
Kluiira. N. V.; takes in washing; 110
spectacles; Bible twice a day; smokes a pipe;
MTICHV lVUI|lfiOMcv.
One of tlio best dressed and most brilliant
young men in Chicago. who parts his hair
in the middle, essayed to delight a select party
of ladies and gentlemen one evening by a
fewjthislios of wit. The most notable scintillation
of his wit was a conundrum: "Haw?''
said ho, "Aw?when is a lady not a lady?*'
Nobody could tell, and the j>rot>ouudor of
the conundrum gave the answer. "When
she's a little buggy." he said. A dead silence
fell on the company and the funny
man was the focus of many singular glances,
llo soon became conscious that "someone
had blundered." So he dived into a vest
pocket, brought out a newspaper scrap, eyed
it attentively three or four times, and then
brightened up. "Haw?yes," he said, "of
course?haw?yes, of course?haw?when
she's a little sulky. Kuew it was some kind
' of a wagon."