The tribune. (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, September 27, 1876, Image 1

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The Beaufort Tribune. VOL. II.?NO. 45. BEAUFORT, S. C., SEPTEMBER 27, 1876. $1.50 PER ANNUM. Ilr <Iia t"< j 1a . - ' * ?/; IUC liuin B r.ll^Ct Whore flows the river by, to take, we two, our place And boo it flow, To watch the clouds that como and go in space i Still come and go, If at the horizon bnrnB a thatch, by chance To see it bnrn. 1 Should flowers the sweetness of tho air en- i hanoe, That way to turn, Hangs there ripe fruit, tompting the hov'ring bees To bend that bough, Sings there aloft a wild bird 'mid tho trees, To listen now. And at the willow's foot, to hear the stream Go murmuring past, Taking no heed while lasts for us this dream That time doth last, No s'rougth of passion bringing to oar life Hhto in adoring, And unaware of this world's woe and strife, It all ignoring, \ Happy alone, wbere wearinets doth reign, And weary never, Feeling that love, whore all things ebb and < wane, i nduroth ever. 1 DEBTOR AND CREDITOR. i Two men met in New York. They 1 wero merchants. " What do yon think of Carlton's affairs, Mr. Elder?" asked one of them. " 1 tiiiuk we shall secure a pretty fair percentage. Don't you?" Yes, if we wind him up." 44 That we shall do, of course. Why let him go ou ? It will take liir two or three years to get through, if at all." 44 If he cau get through in two or threo years, I shall certainly be in favor of lcttiug him go on. Times havo been rather hard aud business dull. But everything looks encouraging now." 441 don't believe in extensions, Mr. Highland. The Barest way, when a man gets iuto difficulties, is to wind him up anil secure what you can. Ten chances to one, if you let liin. go, you lose every oent." 441 have granted extensions in several instances, Mr, Elder," replied bis oompauion, 44uni obtained, eventually, my whole claim, excopt in a single case. ' 44 It's always a risk. I go by the motto, 4 A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,' " returned Elder. 441 am always ready to take what I can get to-day, and never trust to the motiow. That is my way of doing business." 44 But do you uot think the debtor entitled to some consideration!" 44 How ?" with a look of surprise. 44 He is a man of like passions with ourselves." " I don't know that I understand you exactly, Mr. Highland." " Mr. Carlton Las domostio relations as well as you and I." " I never doubted it. But what of that?" " If we break him up in business, the evil will not visit him alone. Think of the effect upon his family." " In trade we never consider a man's family relations." "But should we not, Mr. Elder? Should we not regard the debtor as a man ?" " A a man who owes us, and is unable to pay what is duo ; but in no other light, returned Mr. Elder, with a slight curl of the lip. " Thoro wo differ widley." " And will continue to differ, I imagine. Good morning, Mr. Highland I" rnu^ * 1 iiiu iiwu men partem An hour previous, Mr. Oarlton, about whom they had been conversing, eat with his family, a wife and three daughters at the breakfast table. He tried to oonverse in his usual cheerful manner, but too heavy a weight was upon his heart. There had come a crisis in his affairs, which he feared would not be passed without ruin to himself. If the effects of his misfortune would not reach beyond his store and countingroom; if upon his head alone would fall tho fragments of a broken fortune he would not have murmured. But the dieastor could not stop there. It would extend even to the sanctuary of home. On t.he duy previous he had called on a few of bis creditors and asked of them an extension. If this were not given, it would be impossiblo fo* him to keep on longer than a few weeks. The spirit in which most of the oreditors had reoeived the unexpected announcement that he was in difficulties, gave him little to hope. Ho was to liavo another I interview with them during the day. From that, as it would exhibit tho re- i li If. nf a nmlif'a A1 - ? "ru "llt1 1 minds of his creditors, he would be j sble to see clearly his chanocs of beiog 1 sustained in business. He awaited the I hour with nervous anxiety. When it ar- i rived, and the fow creditors oalled in i had assembled, ho saw little in their < faces to give him hope. Tho first who t spoke out plainly was Elder. I " I, gentlemen," he said, firmly, "am 1 opposed to alt extensions. If a man oan- i not pay as he goes, I think he had bet- 1 terwindup." i " If all do not agree in this matter, it I will be no use to attempt extending Mr. 1 Carlton's time," remarked one of the 0?, creditors, who thought and felt as did i Elder, but was not willi g to come out i so plaiuly. 1 " ihat is very true," said a third. ] A partial extensiou will be of no use." i The heart of poor Carlton almost < oeased to beat. " Have you any objection to retiring tor a lew minutes if" eaul Mr. Highland tfi the debtor. " J will withdraw, oertainly," returned Mr. Carlton, and left tho room. " My own view, geutlcmon," mid Mr. Highland, "is, that we ought to grant all that is asked. Mr. Carlton's business is good, and ho will get over his present difficulties easily, if we only assist him a little. We should bo just, as man toward man; and this I do not think we should be in thiB case unless wo consider Carlton as well as ourselves. He is an honest man, and an honest man in difficulties is always entitled to consideration." " That is all very well. But when a man gives his note payablo at a cei tain day, ho ought to be very suro tuat ho will be able to take it up. Creditors are entitled to Fomo consideration as well us debtors. Too cry of poor debtor ' is soon raised, but who, I wonder, thinks of tho poor creditor ? I, for one, am not prepared to extend." This was said by Elder. " As for me," spoke up another, " I take but one view of matters like this. If I think I will do better by renewincr. I am ready to so; if by winding up tlio party now I cau do better, I go for wiudiug up. I have confidence in Carlton's integrity. I believe ho means well. But cau he get through ? that is the question I" " I believe he can," said Mr. Highland. 44 And I doubt it," returned Elder. The efforts of Elder to efface the impression the words of Mr. Highland had made, proved in vain. It was agreed that tho debtor should receive tho extorsion he asked. When informed of this decision, Carlton could notf hide bis emotions, though he strove hard to io st. His grateful acknowledgments for the favor granted, touched more than one heart that had been cold as ice toward him a short time before. How iifferout were his feelings when he met bis lamily that evening, and silently thanked Heaven that the cloud which bud hovered over and threatened to break in desolating tempest had passed from the sky. Long before tho arrival of tho time for which an extension had been granted, Mr. Carlton was able to pay off everytLiug, and to look in the face without u:q leusant emotions every man he met. Strange things happen in real life Mr. Elder w.is a shipper and extensively engaged in trade. For a series of years avorything went on prosperously with him. His veutures always found a good market, and his consignments safe tud energetic factors. All this ho at iiibutod to his own business acumen. "I never make bad shipments," he (could sometimes say. "I never consigu to doubtful agents." A man like Mr. Elder is rarely permitted to go through life without a practical conviction that he is in the rand of One who governs all events. It s rarely that suoh a one does not bojome painfully conscious in the end ;hat human prudence is as nothing. The lirst thing that occurred to chock ;1 e confident spiiit of Mr. Elder was ;ho loss of a f-hip and cargo under circumstances that gave the underwriters a 'air tloa for not paying the risk. He med and was cast. The lost was twen;y-five thousand dollars. A few weeks after, news came that a ihipment to the South Amerioan coast lad resulted in a loss. From that time everything seemed to go wrong. His idveutures found a glutted market, and liir return cargoes a depression of prices. If he held on to a thing in the Pope of better rates, prices would go iown, untd, in a desperate mood, he would sell; then they would go up itcodily. The time wa? when he could x>nfiue himself strictly to legitimate trade. But a mania for speculation now took held of him and urged him on to ruin. He evon ventured into tho bewildering precincts of tho stock niart. lured bv the hone of nnlemli<l re. raits. Here he stood upon ground that loon crumbled beneath his feet. A loss jf twenty or thirty thousamd dollars jurod him of this folly, and ho turned with a aigh to hia counting-room, to digest with care and prudent forethought, sorro aufe operation in hia regular business. But the true balance of his mind waa oat. He oould not consider with calm loss the buaiue8a in hand. A false move was the consequence. Lohs instead of protlt was the unfortunate result. Seven yoara from the day Mr. Elder apposed an arrangement with Mr. Carina, which should regard the debtor as well as the creditor, he himself found it impossible to provide for all his heavy payments. For some time he had kept liis head above water by making sacriUcG-t, but the end of this came. After a sleepless night the merchant darted one morning for his store, oppressed with the sad conviotion that before the day closed his fair fame would se larnisned. As lio walked along Mr. arltou catno to his sido with a choerful wlutation. Mr. 0. was now a largo creditor instead of a debtor. On that very lay, bills in his favor bad matured to tho amount of five thousand dollars, and these Elder oonld not pay. The recollection of this made it almost impossible ror him to reply to the pleasant observations of his oompnnion. Vividly, an if it had ooonrred yesterday, came up bcfdre his mind the cironmstanoe that bad transpired a few years previously. Ho remembered how eagerly he had sought, from the merest selfish motives, to break down Mr. Carlton and throw him helpless upon the world, and how near ho was to accomplishing the an rchaut's total overthrow. Such recollections drove from his mind the li"po that for a moment had presented iUelf of enlisting Mr. Carlton's good feelings and securing bim as a fri in the trial through which he was ah pass. Several times during the walk he on the point of breaking the mattei Mr. C.t but either his heart failed 1 or his companion made some remark which he was compelled to reply, length tliey separated without any a siou by Mr. Elder to the subject which he was so desirous of speaki He hud not the courage to utter first word. But this was only postponing fc very brief period the evil day. Sev< remittances were auxiously looked that morning. Ho broke the seali letter after letter, with trembl anxiety. Alas ! the mail brought ] no aid. His last hope was gone. N< ing now remained for him but to t his fueo bravely to tho threaten storm and bear up agninst its fury. For a whilo he debated tho quest uu uv uuav tuuioo nan UUM IOr 111 111 pursue. At one time be thought of | iug no informatiou of bin cnnditi until the notary's protest should sta them from their ignorance. Then thought it would bo best to notify holdt r of paper due on that day tin would not bo tuken up. Then it seer to him best to givo notico of his c dition. He prepared brief notes to but Mr. Carlton first. His heart fai liim when ho attempted to write name. Vividly, as if it had occur but tho day previous, came up bef his mind all tho circumstances atte ant upon that gentlemau's appeal to creditors. His cheek bnrned when remembered the position he had assur in that afiivr. Hut, even though such wero feelings, when he came to dispatch notes ho had prepared he could c find courage to send tho ono written Mr. Carlton. Tho other creditors, wh bills had matured that day, he thou he would go and see ; but half an h {>nssed without his acting upon the r< ution to do so. Most of the day spent in walking uneasily the floor of couutiug-room, or in examining cerl accounts iu Ins ledger, or entries in bill book. He was bending, all sorbed, over a page of calculations his desk, when some one who had tered unperceived pronounced his nai Ho turned quiokly and looked Mr. C ton in the fuoe. The color mounted stautly to tho temples of Mr. Elder. tried to speak, but could uot. ' Your uoto has taken me altoget by surprise," said Mr. Carlton. "J I hope things are not so bad as j suppose.1' Mr. Elder shook his head. Do tr to speak, but could not. *' How much have you to pay to-daj asked Mr. Carlton. "Ten thousand dollars," was tho ply, in a husky voice. " How much have you toward it ?" " Not two thousand." " How much falls due to-morrow i' " Four thousand." " How much in a month ?" " Fifty thousand." " What will bo your available sources ?" " Not half the amount." " Haven't you good bille ?" "Yes; but not negotiable." Mr. Carlton mused for soino time, length he said: " You must not lie over to-day." "1 cannot help it." " If yoti will transfer to me, as sc rity in case you have to stop payme the bills of which you speak, I will lc you the amount you want to day." The color retired from tho cheeks Mr. Elder and then came back witl quick iiush. He made no unswer, 1 looked steadily and doubtingly into 1 Carlton's face. "I havo been in difficulties mys and 1 know how to sympathize w others," said tho latter. " We shoi aid if we can, not break down a fell merchaut when in trouble. Indorse b to my order for tho sura you want, a I will till up a check for the amount.' Elder turned slowly to his desk a took therefrom sundry notes of hand tho favor at various Cates from six twelve months, and indorsed them p able to Carlton, who immediately a; biin a ?dieck for cigbt thousand doll and lei t the store. A chirk was instantly dispatched tho bank and then Mr. Elder sunk ii a chair, half stupefied. He could hur< believe bis senses uutil tbe cancel notes wero placed in bis bauds. On the next morning, Mr. Elder w< to bis place of business with feelii but little less troubled than tbey L beeu on the day before. His paymei wore lighter, but his means were for I first time exhausted. The best hecoi do would be to borrow; but bo alrea owed heavily for borrowed money a was not certain that to go further \ practicable. He thought of Mr. Ct ton; but every feeling of bis heart f bade him to seek further aid from hit " I descrvo no consideration the and I cannot ask it," he murmured, he pursued his way toward his sto Tho first thing that met bis oye on i tering his counting-room was a pile ship 1< tters. Thero bad been an arri from Valparaiso. He broke the Real the first one he took up, with eagerne " jnauK uooi" was ms almost immc ate exclamation. It was from one of captains, and contained drafts for flit< thousand dollars. It also informed b that tbe ship Barah, commanded by s: captain, would sail for home in a we< with a return cargo of hides and spe amounting to thirty thousand dolln The voyage had been profitable beyc expectation. Elder had jnst finished reading 1 letter, when Mr. Carlton came in. 8* tho kiutl hearted merchant by the h&i end nud pressing it hard, ho said, with emoiont tion : "Carlton, you have Raved me I Ah ! was sir?this would bo to me a far happier J r to moment, if, seven years ago, when you ( him wero in trouble, I had as generously i to aided you." At " Let tho past sleep in peace," re- 1 llu- turned Mr. Carlton. "If fortune has on smiled again, permit mo to rejoice with ( ing. you, as I do with all who are blessed , tho with favoring gales. To meet with dif- j flculties is of use to tis. It gives ur the ( >r a power of sympathy with others; and ( u-al that gift we should all dosiro, for it is a for good thing to lift the burden from shoul- ] ng, d:-r& bent down with too heavy a weight, ing aud throw suulight over a heart shaded j him by gloom." >th- Mr. Elder recovered from hia orippled , u;u condition in the course of a few mouths. iug Ho wns never again known to oppress a j si;fferiDg debtor. ( lion to j jiv- Tales of My Grandmother. Hoogloy'e boy has been spending his j10 summer vacation with his grandfather 1 and grandmother, down East, says an exchange. He got home this week, and < Qej a few evenings ago, while sitting on the | on- curbstone adjusting a rag on his sore 1 all heel, ho was telling Squeaky (one of his 1 iled chums) what a good time he had. The 1 bjg following is his story : I've goo the old * Ted hoss grandmother for tellin' stoiies, and ' :ore dou't you forgit it! She is as much as two hundred years old, with a great, ' jjj8 loug, crooked chin, and her face kinder ' jj6 looks like pork scraps, but she's a bully ned nm* cuu ^ ?he tell soma awful * Iujuu stories. She says she's got three ^ . . mattresses stuffed with Injun's hair that ' 'j18 my giandfatlier killed and scalped when 1 j he was a yonug man. All of my grand- ' 'u|y mother's pillers is stuffed with Injun's 1 to hair, too, she says. My grandfather he's 1 ?w au flintlock gun that I guess was 1 8 1 made when Noer cum out in tho ark. ' ^ur My grandfather used to shoot bears'n J8?" tigers'n elefuuts'n crockerdiles'n all 1 IT88 Rinds of birds aud everything. My ' . grandfather shot his gun inter a lion or 1 '?1.u wolf one day, and the wolf growed 1 l mnd'n run out of the woods'n run inter ( " a nab< r's houso'n swallered three little * children. My grandfather he runs'n ' en" grabbed the wolf 'n skinned him'n saved 1 tho children fore they's et up. Pirust ' a. used to sail up the river in front of my 1 3" graudfather's house'n they used to rob 1 tle folks and murder "em and git their ! . munuy; they used to murder a tbou- ; snnd folks a day sometimes and berry i tLe gold in a cavo. My grondmotber ' ^ou was all alone one day, and some piruts { . cum and set the bouse afire, and my 1 ied gmndmother tbrow'd bilin' water on tbo ' ? piruts, and tbey left four millions of 1 7 gold and ruu oil. You ought to see my f giandmotber and bear ber toll things I" * re- ] '* The Same Old Drunk." i ' A judge recently fined an old soak ( five dollars and costs for drunkenness, and gave him an admonition to get sober as speedily as possible. A couple of re. days after the same chap was again before him on another charge of the same kind, rnd again was he mulcted in the sum of five dollars and costs. After receiving sentence the prisoner fumAt bled in his pocaet for a moment, as if fh-hing for tbo wherewithal to satisfy the demands of the outraged law, when a happy thought struck him : oa- "See here, judge." said he, "you nt, haint given me the square of this ?nd thing." " Why, what's the matter?" was the of judicial response. a a "Jest this," said the inebriate," don't ont the Constitooshen of the United States ?r> say that you can't fine a mau twice for tbo same offense?" lelf " I believe it does say something to ith that effect," answered the judge, aid " Well, then, your forninst the Couow stitoosben," ejaculated the special ills pleader. " You liued me the other day, , nd >*Qd here you ko and clan on another I " dose now." ( ind " Well, wasn't you drunk then?" said ^ in the judge. r to "I expect I was," responded the , ay- prisoner. t ive "Well, ain't yon drunk now?" thuu j urs dorcd Nathan. ! . " I admit tlio fact," was the retort of j { to the prisoner. , uto "Then whnt are you raising a fuss f Dy about?" said tlio judge. x led " Cos this is the same old drunk," t was the response. Qn^ This settled the fine, and the prisoner ( igs walked with purso undepleted. ^ D,ta A Xe, if on mil a ml Dog as a Fire Patrol. ' iho t jld The Waco (Toxas) Examiner says: v aly The sagacity of a Newfoundland dog a ind savod Tom Selman's resideuoe, near ti pas East Waco, from destruction by tire, n irl- About ono o'clock in the morning Mr. t or- Sclman was awakened by the furious g a. barking of the dog at the window of the c re, room in whioh he slept. He arose, and, e as going to the door, looked out, but saw n ro. nothing. The dog ran to the rear of the ,1 bu- house, and wus followed by his master, fc oi wno aisoovoreu mat a tiro iiAil broken val out aud was gaining tapid headway iu of the kitclion, which is attached to the v as. main building. Witli UMsistance from e di- others he succeeded, with considerable e his difficulty, in extinguishing the flames, t ?en and no great amount of duuiago was s dm done. The property wan saved by the J aid dog, for had ho t>eeu silent the inmates J nk, of tho homo would have known nothing c cio of the tire uutil it had gotten boyond 1 irs. their control. The building caught tire I >nd from a wooden vessel containing hot <1 ashes, which bad been loft setting on j the the fl tor, a species of neglect which has i liz- resulted, probably, in the destruction of s ad, more property than auy other one oauso. f Household Taste. Commonplace taste is not confined to 1 pictorial art. If we are to believe those who have given their attention to the A subject of technical design, it prevadea and vitiates the judgment by which we are accustomed to select and approve the objects of everyday use whion we mm) around us. It crosses our path in the Brussels carpet of our drawing-. ' rooms; it is about our bed in the shape of gaudy chintz; it compels us to rest 011 chairs and to sit at tables which are designed in accordance with the worst principles of construction and invested with shapes confessedly unpicturesque, c It sends us metal work from Binning- a bam which is as vulgar in form as it is flimsy in execution. It decorates the , Quest modern porcelain with the most objectionablo character of ornament. It a lines our walls with silly representations * of vegetable life, or with a masB of nninteresting diaper. It bids us, in short, furnish our honsos after the samo fash- tt ion as wo dress ourselves, and that is v with no more sense of real beauty than ? if art wore a dead letter. ? It is hardly necessary to say that the 4 jcucral public do not recognizo this fact. In tho eyes of materfamilias there a I u n A tinUolofiivw ? V? 1 ... .... tuuiu ,,-jboiuij u surpass that which the most fashionable h upholsterer supplies. She believes in w the elegance of window supplies, of ii which so many yards were sent to the Duchess of , and concludes that the fc, liuner service must bo perfect which is p iepcribed as "quite a novelty." When ^ lid people first adopt the notion that t< tht? "last pattern out" mu6t bo the ^ best? Is good taste so rapidly progressive that every mug which loaves the potter's bauds surpasses in shape the P a t which ho molded? In that case, low superior our modern crockery ^ would bo to that of the middle ages, 11 I' d medieval majolica to the vases of ? inciont Qreeco 1 ? But it is to bo feared that, instead of progressing, wo have, for some ages at " east, gone hopelessly backward in the p u ts of manufacture. And this is true d lot only with respect to the character n if design, but often in regard to the g letual quality of material employed. It tl s generally admitted by every housewifo who lias attained a mationly age, p ;liat linen, silk, and other articles of ei textile fabric, though less expensive 0 than formerly, are inferior to what was 0 made in tho days of our grandfathers. M Metal workors tell us that it is almost ]( impossible to procure, for the purpose jt iuuii mum, unites siren as appears to nave been in common use a century ago. fT Ibiuery is neither so sonnd nor so artis- ? lie as it was in the early Georgian era. 11 cheap and easy method of workmaniliip?an endeavor to produce a show of " inish with the least possible labor, and, " ibuve all, an unhealthy spirit of oomx iition in regard to price, such as was g, 111 known to previous generations?have rs combined to deteriorate the value of rc >ur ordinary mechanics' work. A New Way to Lose Money. Df A short time ago a Frenchman, reconty arrived in the United States from Paris, introduced in New York a gam- . >liug game hitherto unknown here, but vhich has long been played in the ^ Prmch capital. It is called "Lea J bourses," and is intended to ropresent a ^ aj? course and draw out the enthusiasm or betting which is seen on a real race :ourse. The Frenchman had one table ^instructed at a cost of $1,500. It is a >quare table of oak, abont four and a j* mlf feet from the ground, and six and a *a lalf feet square. It is elegantly finish- j* id, and is a handsome specimen of cabnet work. On the top of this table are " light concentric circular grooves, in " ftch of which is a metal horse, support- ** ;d on a metal road, each horse having a a ichly dressed jockey. At four places in inch circle is a broozo arch which repre- 8 units n quarter or a half mile post. To ci inch of the horses is given a name, after si anions racers. Pools are sold on each w ?l the horses, as for a real race, and fl ickets are given to the purchasers, the rt non? y received being placed upon a si eceptado in the ceutcrof the table, cov- b :red with green cloth and sup orted on bur posts. Tho bets having been com- p rioted, by tho touching of a lever the ax 101 st s are brought to tho score, after ef vlii' li u crank is slowly turned, which Ht tots them in motion, aud they start off" jn lock aud-neck. The crank is gradually je uruc d faster aud faster, and with the bi ncreased motion of the crank the speed w >f the horse is also increased. The orank s then removed, and the horses coininue in motion, and by the aid of some ^ ugeuious machinery in the body of the ' able, pass each other, fall behiud, catch ^ ip, and simulate exactly the perform- jn inces at a real race. Sometimes they irrive ut tho goal neck-aud-neck, aod ftl gain, as is not infrequent in actual life, fr he favorite comes in last. The whole [ume is remarkably ingenious, being exiting, and is said to be fairly conduotd, while the facilities for losing money a t it are as great as those enjoyed at Bfl erome Park, Long Branch, or Sara- al oga. ? la Sixty years ago occurred " the year without a summer." Frost occurred in a very mouth of the year 181G. Ioe formA Kolf nr. innl. miob. in M at \? nun ?u 1UVU KUiun lit iUIIJ | nuuw It) 11 O" o the depth of ten inches in Vermont, even in Maine, three in the interior of ti few York, and also in Massachuseets in n] tine; ice was formed of the thickneas of D] octmon window glass throughout New b< England, New York and some parts of at 'euusylvauia, on tho fifth of July; In- h< liau corn was so frozen that the greater C tart was cut down and dried for fodder ki u August, and farmers supplied them- ol elves from the oorn produeed in 1816 f* or the seed of tho spring of 1817. si Familiar Faces. counted all the sunny days and faoee My life bad known, nd found they gathered round the friendly faoes I called my own, .h, can a life have any Joys or graoes That has no friends ? Then fades the beauty of familiar faces, Its gladness ends. t Items of Interest. " Muo? remains unsung," as the tomat remarked to the brickbat when it bruptly cut short his serenade. According to a well known physician, ' it is dangerous to go into the water fter a hearty meal." And it would be very fishy one a man would get if he id go in after one. The proprietor of a forge, not remarkble for his correctness of language, but ho by honest industry had realized a omfortable independence, being oallod at a social meeting for a toast, gave : ' Success to forgery I" A man in Buffalo pulled off his coat nd jumped in the canal to save a woman rom drowning, when a pickpocket stole is pocketbook from the coat, and the roman swore at him for pulling her hair r bis efforts to save her life. When we oome to think of it, there is ut very little difference between a ostage stamp and a boy hanging on beind a cab. The first you have to lick 3 make it stay on, while the latter you ave to lick to make him stay off. A lecturer was dilating npon tho owors of tho magnet, defying any one j show or name anything surpassing a powers. A hearer demurred, and istanoed a lady, who, when young, sed to attract him thirteen miles every unday. A fat Frenoh lady despairingly says : I am so fat that I pray for a disapointment to make me thin. No sooner oos the disappointment come than the lere expectation of growing thinner ives me such joy tnat I become fatter ran ever." There is nothing that tends to destroy opular sympathy for the working olawwi so muoh as the habit a bricklayer has f dropping bits of mortar from the top f a five story wall into the eye of the rondering man who stands under the >fty scaffolding and looks up. A little boy, six years old, and a little irl, eight, were looking at the douda tie beautiful summer evening, watohig their fantastio shapes, when the boy tclaimed : "Oh, Minnie, I Bee a dog 1 the sky I" "Well, Willie," replied 10 sister, " it must be a tky terrier." "Oo&chman," said an outside passenBr to one who was driving at a furious ite over one of the most mountainous lads in the north of Scotland, " have 3U no consideration for our lives and mbs?" "What are your lives and mbs to me?" was the reply. "I'm " ehiud time I" A I^urlin gton schoolboy views the Ivent of school days without a tremor, ecause, ho says, he is pained to an s. that his father lbs. him without qr. aarly every day, worse than ever his 'acher did, nor is he the only unhappy r>y in town ; he says he kaows a owfe. 10 return of sohool days with eager a patience. A Western ooroner, having oooaaion > investigate the cause of a man's death tely, charged the jury that they were ? ascertain whether the " man came to is death by aocident, by inoident, or by te incendiary." The jury returned that ho came to his death by inoidenoe, the owie knife having incidentally torn hed vital part:" Lightning played a curious freak in tow, Mass., lately. Entering by the siliug a room twelve feet square, where x young women were seated about the all, it dropped on the center of the oor in a ball, and exploded with a lond sport and volumes of sulphurous noke, but injured nobody, not even nriling the carpet. " Speaking of bathing," said Mrs. arlington, from behind the steam that oso from her tea as a veil to her blush* i when touching upon so delicate a ibject, " some can bathe with perfect ipurity in water as cold as Greenland y mountains aud India's ooral strands, it for my pArt I prefor to have the ater a little torpid." Curiosities never seen : A fenoe ado from a railing of a scolding wife, plate of butter from the cream of a ko. The small coins in " the ohange ' the moon." The original brush used i painting the signs of the times. The immor that broke up the meeting. The limal that drew an inferenoe. Eggs om a nest of thieves. A bucket of ater from " All's well." A oorresDondent writes : T wedding a few days sinoe. Wishing to iy something befitting the oocasion, I )proached the fair yonng bride in the >nrse of the day, and, after oongratnting her on her departure from the ito of single blessed ness, I wished her pleasant voyage down the river of life, he said sho hoped so, bnt they were jing by railway to New Tork. A carpenter who was always prognoecating evil to himself was one day pon the roof of a five story building [>on whioh rain had fallen. The roof sing slippery he lost his footing, and < bo was desoending toward the eaves o exclaimed: " Just as I told you !" atching, however, an iron spout, he icked of his shoes and regained a place " safety, when he thus delivered nimilf: " I krow'd it; there's a pair of iocs gone !**