The tribune. (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, June 14, 1876, Image 1
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The Beaufort Tribune.
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VOL. IT.?NO. 30. BEAUFORT, S. C., JUNE 14, 1876. $1.50 PER ANNUM.
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The Black Eyed Rebel.
A boy drove into tho city, bis wagon loaded
down
With food to feed the peoplo of the British
governed town ;
And the little black eyed rebel, so canning and
so sly,
Was watching for his coming from the oorner
of her eye.
His face looked broad and honest, his bands
wero brown and tongb,
Tho olotbcs he wore upon him were homespan,
coarse, and roagh ;
Bat ono thore was who watched him, who long
time lingered nigh,
And cast at him sweet glances from the oorner
of her eye.
He drove up to the market, he waited in the
line?
Hi* apples and potatoes wore fresh and fair
and fine;
Bat long and long he waited, and no one came
to bny,
Save the black eyed rebel, watching from the
ooruer of her eye.
"Now who will bny my apples?" ho shouted,
long and load;
And " Who wants my potatoes ?" he repeated
to tlie crowd ;
But from all the people round him came no
word of a reply.
Have the black eyed rebel, answering from the
corner of her eye.
For sho kcow that noath the lining of the coat
be woro that day
Wore long letters from the husbands and the
fathers far away,
Who woro fighting for the freedom that they
meant to gain or die ;
And a tear like silver glistened in the corner
of kor eye.
But the treasures?how to get them ? crept
the question through her mind,
Biuoe keen enemies wero watching for what
prizes they m'ght find ;
And eho paused a while and pondered, with a
pretty little sigh;
Then resolve crept through her foaturea, and
a shrewdness fired her eye.
Bo al.e resolutely walked np to the wagon old
and red ;
" May I have a dozen apples for a kiss ?" the
swee ly eaid ;
Aud the brown face flushed to scarlet, for the
boy was somewhat Bhy,
Aud 1 e saw her laughing at him from the corner
of her eye.
" Y.u may have them all for nothing, and
more, if yon want," qnoth he.
"I will have them, my good fellow, hnt can
pay for them," said she.
And she clambered on the wagon, minding not
who all were by.
With a laugh of rookless romping in thu corner
of her eye.
Clinging round his brawny neck, she claBpcd
her fingers white and small,
And then whispered: "Quick! the letters!
thrust them underneath my shawl!
Carry back again this package, and be sure
that yon are spry !"
And she sweetly smiled npon him from the
oorner of her eye.
Load the motley crowd were laughing at the
ttrSDge, ungirlish freak,
And tbo boy was scared and panting, and so
dashed he conld not speak ;
And: "Miss, I have good apples," a bolder
lad did cry;
Bat she answered : " Kn r Ui?nU
the corner of her eye.
With the nowa of loved onoa abaent to the dear
friends they would greet,
Searching them who hungered for tbem, swift
ehe glided through the street.
"There is nothing worth the doing that it
does not pay to try," ,
Thought the little black eyed rebel, with a
twinkle in her eye.
? Will Carlelon in Uarper's.
UNTIL DEATH DO US PART.
A STORY FOR YOUNG WIVES.
" Oh, auntie, I want to dio now I
What is lifo worth without his love f"
The warm light of the fire shed its
bright glow upon the soft, fair, troubled
brow, the deep spiritual eyes, and perfectly
formed 01 imson lips of a beautiful
young creature, as she threw herself
into a chair, and addressed these words
to a silver haired old lady at her side:
" Hu^h, Mary, my poor ohild, you
must not speak thus. What is the
trouble ? I havo long feared you and
Oharles were not living happily, but I
refrained from asking questions, fearing
I might wound your feelings."
" And bo yon would have done, Annt
Agnes, had yon mentioned the subject a
week ago; for, althongh I have been
wretchedly miserable for the last six
months, I would have gone to the stake
before I wonld havo admitted it; but
now everybody knows it, and I have
come to you for oomfort."
And the young wife wept bitterly.
" Everybody knows it I I do not understand
you, my ohild. What has
happened f"
Wiping the tears from hereyes, pretty
Mary Stauwood, tho bride of only a
yonr, begun:
" Yon know I have never pleased
Charles in anything sinoe we went to
housekeeping. I can't sew, I can't oook,
nor do anything else; in a word, I am no
i housekeeper. And he has a perfect
mania for a neatly kept house, a well set
table, a well cooked dinner, and a tidy
wife. I know, auntie, it all seems very
foolish to you, but it is a great trial to
me. I have tried, and I can't learn; per- t
haps I would have made more progress 1
if Charley had acted differently, but <
when I make an effort he never praises <
me for it, and if I fail, ho ridicules me I
until I havo just given up trying, and i
have loft thiugs to Jane, who, yon know, ]
is a very indifferent servant. Yesterday
morning the steak was burnt, the coffee i
was muddy; today the bread was heavy, ]
the eggs overdone, the beef raw. Char- <
ley flow into a passion and said a great <
many unkind things as he arose from i
his untasted breakfast. And when I t
oried, and said I wished I was at home i
with mamma, he said ho wished so too <
?and many things I oonl 1 not repent." <
And Mary Stanwood's voice completely j
broke down. <
Soothing her gentiv, Mrs. Allen, Che 1
good anut, who had kuowu and loved '
the spoiled child from her babyhood, '
said :
"Mary, how deeply I sympathize *
with you is more than I con express." 1
"Oh, auntie, I have not told you tho
worst pet. When Charley left home he '
went straight to Annie Qlenn and spent <
several hours there, and he does this
very often. She has won his love from
me; this is the true reason of our nn- ,
happiness. I have oomo to tell you f
this, and to tell you I am going home to ,
mamma." * (
And the sorrowing young wife wept ,
bitterly. " (
" Mary, you know I iTui your friend; '
aud i;' what I am going to say to you ,
wounds you, it is yet for your own good. \
You have done wrong, my child. I ad- ^
mit Charles, knowing your tender rear- f
ing as the only child of wealthy parents, ,
should not have been so exacting; but j
ho has been accustomed to the superior (
housekeeping and good management of (
a domestic mother and industrious sis- j
ters, and he doubtless attributes much ^
of yonr errors in making his home com- ,
fortable to indiiTerenoe on your part, j
He does not understand your difficul- (
ties, nor does he deem your efforts j
praiseworthy, bocauso ho has been in
tho habit of seeing others make them as
a matter of duty. As for his visits to (
Annie Glenr., I can, I think, explain j
them. Mrs. Glenn is a good house- j
keeper and a splendid cook; Annie, (
a bright, intelligent girl, who does not ]
grow cross over her household labors, j
So, if Charles sometimes drops in there ,
to partake of the deliciously prepared
little meal, and chat with tho friend of ,
his childhood, in her bright, pleasant ,
little parlor, over tho last new book, it
is not surprising."
"Oh, auntie, it may be trae, but <
Charles is cruel and unkind, and I am t
sick of it all. I am going home to
mamma; she won't want me to cook, ,
and sweep, and make a drudgo of my- 1
self." ,
" Hush, Mary; you do not know what ]
you are saying, and surely you forget tho
vows so solemnly spoken just one year
ago. It was until death do ns part that 1
you promised to be the wife of Charles i
Stan wood. Then it was not for health, j
happiness and sunshine you took those <
vows, but ' for better, for worse ;' and j
now, my child, if tho worse has come so i
soon to blight the orange blossoms, you (
must bear it." <
" Oh, no, I cannot; I must go back to \
my old home?my dear homo, where
everybody loved me. I never want to i
look upon Charley Stanwood's face c
again," sobbed tho homesick young 1
wife. ^
" Don't, Mary; don't speak those (
words," said the old lady, with white,
trembling lips. " They are an echo in
my heart tnat sonnds like a funeral
dirge. And now, my dear niece, ere you
take this important step of leaving your
husband and your home, allow me to
tell you something of the history of my
own life?a chapter whose sad story has
never been unfolded to the view of your
brighter vonnir life.
" Mary, I was about your age?seven- 1
teen?when I married Carlton Allen, the 1
handsomest man in cftir town. Like 1
yonrself, I was a spoilod child?the only 1
girl in a family of ten children. I was l.
too yonng to understand the sacredness \
of marriage, or to appreciate the depth !
and strength of the manly nature of my
husband; yet I loved him. He was very j
considerate, very indulgent, and I pre- !
sumed upon his affection and goodness j
until our home became very miserable, !
and at length, alas I desolate. I had al- '
ways followed my own wishes in all re- '
spects, and when I married I made no J
change. One day we were to have a
large dinner party. Oarlton was not 1
w?-!l, and I hod arranged to have it with- }
out consulting him. Amoq^he guests :
was a gentleman to whom husband '
k..i ? ,i~.rr.. t? <
uau a u(A;iuo\i auu|/avuj< ixo wwj wu ,
much of a gentleman to treat any guest j
with rudeness, but the next morning he ]
called me to him and told me never to
invito that man into hia bonne again. I 1
answered angrily. One word brought 1
on another, until I declared my intention j
of going home, saying to my husband,
as I left the room : ' I never wish to 1
look upon your faoe again, Carlton Allen.'
And oh, my God 1 I never did; j
for that night my noble, manly husband
was killed by a violent fall from his I
horse. When they told at home, next
morning, of my bereavement, I fell 1
s -useless to tbo floor, and for months I 1
lay hovering between life and death. 1
At length my strength and youth tri- '
mnphod, and I recovered to pass my
life in a sorrowful atonement for the
fo ly of an hour. Sinothen, my child, <
I have never seen a young wife render <
her homo unhappy without great grief ]
lo my heart."
When Mrs. Allen censed speaking her
niroc was sobbing very gently, and she
felt sure her end was accomplished,
oven beforo the penitent young wife
murmured ;
" Oh, nun tie, I thank you so for thia
story, which I know was so hard for you
to tell. I will go home at once, and I
lo not think Charley will ever have
lause to complain of mo again. I feel
that I can learn to keep house, and
make any and every sacrifloe for hie
happiness."
"Keep house," exclaimed Mrs. Allen,
in cheering tones, "of course you can.
Because you can paint, draw, and play
an the piano, that is no reason why you
aannot learn to manage your household
ififairs with prudence and neatness. Ton
should not want any one to pay that the
stupid servants of the kitchen can
?xcel you. Surely, if tlioy can aopiire
the mysteries of cooking, so can
fou. And now I am going to send my
;ook to stay with you a month. Bat
mind, you must not spoil her ; you must
manage and see to everything yourself,
?>id assist her."
" Oh, dear, good auntie, how shall I
;hauk you?" exclaimed Mrs. Stanwood,
seemingly forgetful of all her trouble.
" By doing all you can for your bus
t>anas comiort," solemnly replied tlie
>ld lady.
Two years had elapsed. In the pleasxnt
little dining-room of the Stanwoods
iat the young wife of Charley Stanwood,
upon whoso fair brow rested an
expression of peace rarely seen. In the
eenter of the room was spread a table
lecornted with great taste and beauty.
I'he damask cloth was snow white, the
silver and china were spotless, while
lowers decorated the glasses and shaded
;he pretty cakes and abundance of
sweetmeats prepared by Mary Stanivood's
own hands. Her own toilet was
faultless, while the smoothly brushed
juris of the lovely child at her side told
dint neatness and order ruled over this
jappy household. Suddenly, where
;lie lady sat in the embrasure of the
window, a shadow fell athwart the sunight,
and. raising her bright love lit
jyes, she saw the object for which she
lad so long watched approaching.
" Mary 1"
Sho arose and sprung toward the
>pen door, lifting her fair young face
the speaker, while he stopped and
fondly kissed her. The soft hand closed
jaressingly on his larger, darker palm,
ier lips were tremulous; her eyes, loviig*in
their earnestuess, looked up winliugly.
" Oh, you have come at last, Charley,
md I have waited so long and so impatiently
for you."
"You have missed me, then ?"
"My heart misses you always, but
^specially to-day, for you know it is the
uuiiversary of our wedding day."
" And are you happy on this our wedling
day, Mary?" he asked, counting
auck to the dreary days when their
wedded happiness came well nigh being
A.
AJOlte
" All my life is happiuess."
"Thank God.l And now, my perfect
ittle housekeeper, allow me to oomplinent
this pretty table and elegant dinler.
Mary, do you remember when you
>noe thought it impossible to learn to
nanage your household affairs in the
nonner I then unreasonably demanded
>f my ohild wife? What, darling, ever
jhanged you so ? Who taught you to
teep house ?"
" IiOve," answered the proud young
natron, and with humbly bowed heads
uid grateful hearts the fond young husjand
and the faithful wife renewed the
rows of fidelity, to be kept until "death
lo us part."?Housekeeper.
The Cost of Plumage.
There is no lady deserving of the
lame who could witness without a feeing
of horror the process of preparing
'or use the feathored beauties which
'orm such conspicuous ornaments in the
present style of women's hats. If those
vho wear such ornaments knew the
iortures to which these helpless little
ir natures are subjected, and the heartess
cruelty with which the business is
serried on, they would shrink from even
ndirect complicity in it. Of course the
mpression prevails that all birds used
for personal decoration are killed immediately
when caught and prepared in
ihe ordinary way by taxidermists ; but
iere is where the mistake is made. Tho
airds are taken alive, and while living
ihe skin is skillfully stripped from their
juivering, ghastly bodies. By this prosess
it is claimed the feathers retain a
Irmer hold upon the skin. Such is the
method by which all birds used in the
leooration of ladies' hats are prepared,
rhink of the exquisite humming bird,
ihe blue bird, the cardinal bird, tho
mole, and numberless others of beautiful
plumage, struggling beneath the
tnife of tho heartless operator ; think of
ihis, tender hearted ladies, as your admiring
gaze rests on the latest novelties
n fduliinn liv tuhir>li nnr nifv linllnt. nrn
srowuedl Hondreda of thousands of
airda of the brighteat plumage are literally
flayed alive every year, and ao long
is our ladiea will conaent to wear ancli
jrnameuts, juat ao long will this cruel
[msiuess continue. Tho Baronesa Bnrletto
Oontta bna placed lieraelf at tho
iiead of a movement in England dei'gned
to put an end to the brutal business,
and it ia to l>e hoped that the will
meet with cordial encouragement and
jo operation ou thia aide of the Atlantic.
Krepino Accounts.?Women are
quiet and sweet tempered during tho
veir, but they keep accomt of their
fmsbanda' aina and ahortoominga, and
ti ve a grand settlement when house
jleasing time comes. During tho few
lays devoted to whitewash and soap
*nd water they inflict the necessary
imount of punishment and ao start
square again.
Centennial Notes.
France appropriates $40,000 to send
mechanics of every class to the Centennial.
All French industries, including
agriculture, will bo represented in the
; delegation.
Tho Centennial commissioners are
very liberal with passes. Of tho large
attendance on the first day only 76,216
. paid their money, and since that time
L this number has run down to 10,000 and
I 12,000.
i The non-paying attendants are now
i announced as 12,000 in number among
i the exhibitors and their assistants, 1,511
among the general officials, 225 among
i tho judges, 100 more to the State boards,
and over 500 to the press.
' A pretty pavilion has been built by
vxxxj i. uiuu^uono guvciuxuuub uutuij uj/posite
the Pennsylvania educational
. building. It is ono story high within
and two without, and is surrounded by
wide piazzas. The Portuguese commissioners
have their offices here.
There are two French restaurants on
' the grounds. One of them goes on the
principle that nobody will be caught
in it the second time, and tnat it must
therefore get all the money it can out of
i chance customors who have been drawn
to it by its famous name. The other is
obviously kept by an Americanized
Frenchman.
1 The partial relief to visitors to the
Exhibition which was givon by the abo1
lition of the rule requiring two fifty
' cent notos (or pieces) for two persons
; instead of one dollar, has been receded
from by the managers. They still insist
upon tlie fifty cent fraction. They do
1 this, they say, because of the greater
facility in handling crowds and detecting
counterfeits.
The parade of the Knights Templars
in Juno will, if the programme and1
promise of numbers in attendance is
fulfilled, be the most gorgeous in the
annals of Masonry. Some rate the number*of
expected Knights at more than
twenty thousand, exclusive of the Philadelphia
organizations. Minor visitations
of military societies, press olubs,
etc., will greatly diversify the scone
until the great day on which Mr. Evorts
is to enliven it with his oration.
New York Millionaires.
The New York correspondent of the
Chicago Tribune says: Commodore
Yanderbilt is easily reached. Any one
can get an interview with him who desires
it. H. B. Claflin, the great dry
goods king, occupies a small office in
his great establishment, and customers
and clerks go in and out while ho is
there with the utmost freedom. Mr.
Olaflin often confers with his clerks and
junior partners at their desks, and is approached
by the firm's patrons as readily
as if he was one of the salsemen. Wm.
B. Astor was another man always ready
to see any one who called upon him in
his bnsiness office on Prinoe street.
Commodore Garrison has an offioe on
Bowling Green, where his steamship
business has long been done, and, provided
he has no person with him at the
moment, can be seen for the asking.
Jay Gould is always bosy, bat visitors
by taking their turn can see him at any
time.
The leading bank presidents are accessible
to auybody who may call upon
them.
The heads of the diy goods firms of
Arnold & Constable and Lord & Taylor
can bo seen at any time by sending in a
card or a name. Indeed, onr busiest
men are real democrats, and as a cat
may look at a king, so may the humblost
citizen secure an audience with the
richest without hindrance.
The nearest kin to A. T. Stewart in
the Tycoon business is James Gordon
Bennett. He has a corps of watchmen
and doorkeepers keeping off the rabble,
and after passing three or four waitingrooms
he may be seen.
Presence of Mind.
"Dora" was being enacted in a
Western city where the choice of actors
is not creat. and Mnrv Morrison on
making lier exit to bring on her little
Willie, of four years, was shocked to
find a lubberly boy of at least fourteen,
who must go on, as no other was to be
had. The Farmer Allen of the play was
no doubt equally shocked to see Mary
coming upon the stage with a boy nearly
as big as herself. What was worse,
the audience began to titter. But Farmer
Allen was equal to tko omergenoy,
and instead of asking " How old are
you, my little boy?" said: "How old
are you, my strapping fellow?" probably
hoping' that the boy would have the
good sense to give an age more suitable
to his size. The boy, however, with
painful fidelity to the book, and in a
sepulohral voice that mado the answer
all the more preposterous, said : " Four
to five, grandpapa." " Forty-five 1"
exclaimed tho other, cheerfully ; "you
look it, my boy, you look it!" There
was a laugh at tho moment, but the
play wa? saved from shipwreck. It was
told of a famous tragedian that at tho
close of an act in which ho had been the
prominont character, a gooso's head was
thrown upon the stago by some one who
had a spite against him. The tragedian
picked it up, handed it to one of the
othorti to take away, and said, with per
roct nonclialanoe: ' The gentloman
who has thrown his head npon the stage
cau get it haok at tho close of tho performance.
"
A TKiuuni.e Mistake.?The Lcavenworth
(Kan.) Timen has tho following
item : Tt is now certain that the young
man Callahan, who was hanged by a
mob in Edwards county, a short time
ago, was entirely innocent.
A SUICIDE'S LETTER.
The Ferllnn of Bernard Bailer, who Mh?t
HlBiaelf In Ml. I.onln Because he was
Jilted.
Totiik Public: Would you like to
know how a man feels who is about to
commit suicide ? In the first plaoe, he
must feel so badly that no matter what
is to come hereafter, it is more endurable
than the present; and secondly, he
must feel that, more endurable or not,
ho cannot help the aot; that if even the
future is worse than the present, the
present is unendurable. I suppose
medical men would like to know just the
mental condition of one who can shufile
off this mortal coil.
It is this: My nerves and senses are
as sound as they ever were. 1 can attend
to business as efficiently, and as fully
realize that the chief end of man is to
gather ducats, aB I ever oould. "but I
can also realize that without my better
half I am as a perfect engine without
steam?useless.
Doctors of divinity would doubtless
like to know my moral and religious
ideas. My moral idea is this: That man
should do his duty in spite of obstacles
and oonsequences, and that so doing is
the only thing which will bring the
peace which passeth all understanding.
I acknowledge that I was too weak so to
do. In regard to my future state, my
reason does not fully acoept that there is
a future state of which we will be oonscious.
I believe in the immortality of
the soul, or the life principle, or wnatever
it is, as I believe in the immortality
of a bushel of ooal; that it may change
its form so essentially as to be unoonscious
of having ever existed before, but
that still, as the ooal, it is not destroyed,
but simply changes its form. My
heart may speak differently to me, but
even then Relieve that whatever is, is
inevitable, as it must all prooeed from
one great original, and so must be in
accordance with his will.
However, I shall probably know more
about it in twenty-four hours than all
the D. D.s living. I am not crazy. I
know thnt the world is full of good and
enjoyable things, and that they were
put here for our good and benefit, and
that we should strive and work to obtain
them.
But I am unable to care for them
without the love of my darling. I wish
to state that Miss is in no way responsible
for my having loved her; that
almost before she had ground for thinking
that my feelings toward her were
more tender than those of friendship,
she informed me that her heart was another's,
and that, while she esteemed
and cared for me as a friend, I oould be
nothing more to her. But she was mistaken
in that, and though I oould not
convince her of it while living, die will
realize it when I sleep the sleep that
knows no waking. A sweet good night
to all.
APPENDIX.
On the baok of a sheet of note paper
were the words: "Respect this.'* On
fVia aVVini? oiMn nraa w?!ffAn VKa ^a!1 Avwinet
UUU U UUU1 U1UU TV UO TT11VVOU IIUO AUUUWUJ^
"I wish to be buried just in this
clothing in whioh I die. Do not move
me from where I am found, ezoept to
my grave.
" Bury me in a plain pine coffin, and
have me carried to my grave in a onehorse
spring wagon. Do not let the
total cost of my burial exoeed $5. As the
last request of a dying man, I conjure
you to respect these instructions."
A Dying Lover Married.
An unusual marriage took plaoe in
Omaha, Neb., the parties thereto being
Spenoer Wright and Miss Bessie
Roberts, daughter of United States
Deputy Collector John Roberts. The
o remony took place at the house where
the young man boarded, as he was too
ill to bo removed elsewhere. The Rev.
L. F. Britt, pastor of the First Methodist
church, performed the ceremony.
Mr. Wright has been failing in health
very rapidly of late, and the physioians
here havinc civen him no. his father.
who in a merchant tailor in New York
city, arrived to take his son home to
die of consumption. Miss Roberts, to
whom young Wright has long been
aflianced, decided to go East with hei
dying lover, and give him all the care
and attention that her love could prompt
in his dying hoars, and the better to
enable her to care for him, she deoided
to have the marriage oeremony performed
before the journey to New York
was undertaken. While tho wedding
was sad in its attendant circumstanoes,
it was lightened up with the great cheerfulness
manifested by the bride in taking
up her labor of love.
Advertising Patent Medicines.
Advertisements of patent medioinee
furnish support to many so-called religions
papers. Not a few of them would
perish but for the aid they reoeive from
medical quackery. Hence the importance
of tho movement in the Baltimore
? 1.. 1 _ 11 - J ?A.I
wmiciuuw WJ UJLOUl ltt (UOBU IIUVUriUMh
mcnts from the organs of the Methodist
donomiuation. Of tho quacks who thus
advertise, there are somo whose medicines
aro in jar ions to the men, women,
and children who use them; and we often
see, in the so called religions papers,
quack medicine advertisements whioh
aro an outrage upon decency. If religion
be a matter of truth,*how can its organs
rustnin themselves by such falsehoods?
?New York Sun.
Ciikwtno Snuff.?The Enterprise
(Miss ) Courier Bays : The physician*
of this place aro becoming sorionalv
alarmed over the prevalent nse of snnn
among the ladies. The doctors say it ii
creating liavoo with tho Indies arjd
tb'gjfoying their offspring.
That Little Lamb.
Mary bad a little lamb?
We're beard ft o'er and o'er,
Until that little lamb beoomee
A perfect little bore. - f
So I propose to make a grave,
And dig it deep and wide;
That Mary's lamb and a)l its bards
Bd bnried aide by aide.
Items of Interest.
i Bat Carson had 10,000 hair-breadth esi
rapes, and then suffered the humilia>
Ron of dying at the heels of a Mexican
mole.
The boy who started from home to
walk to the Centennial is being pioked
np hungry and repentant by policemen
in all parts of the oountry.
That was a pretty oonoeit of a little
three-year-old who, when gathering
flowers and finding one with an unusually
short stem, exclaimed that he " found
it sitting down."
" J narrowly escaped being cut off
with a shilling," said a solemn young
, man. " How did you escape it t" asked
j a bystander. " My father had no ahil,
ling," was the solemn reply.
A oonteinpory describing, a boat race,
alludee to the "flashing of 10,000 eyes
and the plandits of twioe as many fair
kanJa 99 Wlmf a lnf nf r\nn.orn/1 mnmcn
there most have been at that raoe t.
" Why is it, my dear sir/' said Waffles'
landlady to him the other day,
" that yon newspaper men never get
rioh ?" " I do not know," was his reply,
" except it is that dollars and sense
do not always travel together."
The Philadelphia Inquirer strongly
urges the reduction of the prioe of admission
to the Exposition from fifty to
twenty-five cents, on the ground that
the present charge will virtually dose
the doors against hundreds of thousands
of workingmen and their families.
The New Orleans Picayune says that
the telegraph art has reached such
Kfection that long oourtships have
n maintained between persons Hundreds
of miles apart, ana some lovesick
telegraphist has even invented a
telegraphio sign for love's fiipt sweet
kiss.
A clean tooth does not decay. Aoids
and sour fruit always injure the teeth
i instantly; sweets never do; without
them children would die, henoe their
insatiable instincts for sugar. If a
tooth powder was never used the teeth
would not be so white; but, kept perfectly
clean, would last for life.
The editor of a Western paper has
medioal authority for stating that in
some oases if liquid food be applied to
the body, it will merely, by being absorbed,
sustain life. The editor had a
molasses jng forcibly applied to himself,
and his head not only increased in sise.
bnt it has been a sweet looking head
ever since.
While s barber of Niles, Mioh., was
shaving a customer the other day, he became
tangled up in an epileptic spasm.
After the customer had lost a slioe off
the neck and narrowly escaped a severance
of the jugular vein, he modestly
suggested that he would wait for "the
next," as he never did like close ahav
ing.
Sandwich Islands Surf Bathing.
Says a writer: It is very exciting,
but the sea was not very rough. The
feurf board is a rough plank shaped like
a coffin lid, about two feet broad and
from six to nine feet long. The men,
dressed only in malos, carrying their
' boards under their arms, waded out
from the rooks on which the surf was
breaking, and, pushing their boards before
them, swam out to the first line of
breakers, and then, diving down, were
seen no more till they reappeared as a
number of black heads bobbing about
like corks in the water. What they seek
1 is a very high roller, on the top of which
1 they leap from behind, diving face
downward on their boards. As the
waves speed on and the bottom strikes
' the ground the top breaks in a huge
' comber. The swimmers appeared poc'
ing themselves on its highest edge by
dexterous movements of their hands and
I . L - *. il A .1 11
iflfll) Keeping just m uie tup ut wo uiu^
bat always apparently coming down hill
with a slanting motion. 80 they rode in
majestically, always just ahead at the
breaker, -carried shoreward by its mighty
; impulse at the rate of forty miles an
hour, yet seeming to have a volition of
their own, as the more daring riders
knelt and even stood on their surf
boards, waving their anas and uttering
exultant cries. They were always apparently
on the verge of ingulfment by
the fleroe breaker whose towering white
1 crest was ever above and just behind
. him; but just as one expected to see
I them dashed to pieoes, they either waded
1 quietly ashore, or, sliding off their
. boards, dived under the surf, taking ad,
vantage of the undertow, and were next
seen far out at sea, preparing for fresh
i exploits. The great art seems to be to
1 mount the roller precisely at the right
. time, and to keep exactly on its crest
jnst before it breaks.
An Extensive Work.
i (Should a ship canal be cut across the
Isthmns of Darien at its narrowest
\ point, it would be thirty-two miles lone,
1 and would require a ship tunnel 125
feet high and seven miles in length
through solid rock. A vessel going
, from New York to San Franoisoo would
, savo ten thousand miles of sailing, and
r could afford to pay a toll of $8,000. In
f the one item of wages, a clipper ship
i of 1,500 tons burden Would save $2,000
[ nt least. It ia estimated that the work
would cost $100,000,000.