The tribune. (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, December 29, 1875, Image 1
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It.
THE TRIBUNE.
VOL. II.?NO. 6. BEAUFORT, 8. DECEMBER I#75. $1.50 PER ANNUM.
A Christmas Carol.
They are ringing, they are ringing,
Our merry Christmas bells,
In the village, in the city,
In the dale-church o'er the fells.
Be ours of life hi varied,
Bo our fortunes poor or bright.
Hand in hand with all our brothers,
We are one at least to-night.
5
Nor tho noble in the mansion,
Nor tho sovereign on the throne,
Nor the boggar in his hovel,
Will eujoy themselves alone.
We all Heek the kindly greetaig .
Of Borne dear, familiar face ^
We all know that hermit feeling
For to-night is out of place.
But one night! Why not for ever
Should we bind the golden chain
That shows man his poorest fellow
Was not sent to earth in vain.
Tint each sorrow hath a purpose.
i uai. eaco joy liatu an alloy,
That over finely balanced
Are the scales of grief and joy.
Spare a little, then, ye rich ones,
From your laden oofTers now :
Bring to poverty a nun-ray,
Bring a smile to sorrow's brow.
Take it gratefully, ye toiler*,
Toilers up eartli'H weary hill;
Tin a green spot in your desert,
'Tie a good sprung from your ill.
Yes ! ye rich and poor united,
'Tie most grand in Heaven's sight,
And a blessing, not earth's blessing,
Is on all the world to-night.
THE WAIF'S HOLIDAY.
A Story for Christmas.
Again had the beautiful season of tho
birth of Christ dawned upon earth.
Again the choral hymns went up, the
joy-bells clashed upon the crystal air.
It was the festal time for all God's tired
children, wandering, stumbling, stray
aug uinvuiu 1 li mw j'JCriltjy to IU6IT non
. inheritance. The time when hands
should clasp upon old feuds ; when the
balm of forgiveness should be poured
upon oid scars ; when pride, vain-glory,
and all uueharitableness should flee
away, like sorrow and sighing in a world 1
to come. i
To-night?for it is Christmas eve?it i
is bitter cold, and the stars look down
with their sleepless eyes upon the great \
city, all alive with mirth Up-town I
every door that opens sends forth a i
burst of light, of life, and song, that
trembles out and dies upon the wintry 1
wind. Through window panes where
no selfish blibUs are drawn, there are <
sweet home pictures to be seen in passing.
But while in swift sucoession these )
Christmas phantoms pass before my 1
view it is not here, among the mansions <
of the rich and great, that I must linger
now. Quite out of the pale of May Fair |
dwells a good man, above whose door is ,
writ in sliiuing letters : " John Bright \
?crocer.'"
"A merry Christmas." It was in- j
scribed in au urch of vergreen within
the door ; it echoed u, ua every passing j
tongue ; an J if ever a fat, honest face ex- 1
pressed a kindly greeting, John Bright's j
repeated this.
Throughout the lingering twilight, a j
busy stream of holiday folks poured in i
at the grocer's portal, and blocked up
the street in front. Mr. Bright and his
two assistants had work enough to tie
up browu paper parcels, and till jugs,
and load baskets.
. T'?o best of it was that somebody actually
bought the fat tnrkey, who lay in
state on a bier . decked with parsley
sprigs, aud his arms crossed, like a hero
as he was, taking barest, under the gas
jot iu the window.
Mr. Bright might well have said
' Iohabod after that, for the brother and
sister turkeys whioh remained looked so
insignfftcant, nobody cared even to ask
their respective price. Perhaps that was
the reason why, when it came to be time
for Mr. Bright's two assistants to untie
their aprons and go home, the fat grocer
ordered them each to take one of the remaining
fowls, and never let him hear of
it again !
He did not look very indignant, however,
as he brought out two well filled
baskets, and told each assistant to take
that home, and never say that he had
not Been the color of a plum pudding, ,
but it smelt very much like tea, and |
oranges, too, and the thin faoe of one of
the poor boys brightened up so, that I
don't think his feelings were hurt. (Ho
hiul jivst come there, and was said to j
have a grandmother dependant on him
at home.)
All this time, and whilst evory face
wore a smile, and every eyo a gleam, ,
there was one little outsider whose lip j
had never learned to laugh, and whose ]
hollow orbs reflected nothing of the sea- 1
son's merriment.
Oronohing in the shelter of a large
pooking-box, its cheek pressed oiose to
the shining pane, a tiny creature sat. :
hour after hour gazing in at the wonders
from which it was so utterly cut off.
Oh ! tragedy of forsaken childhood, how i
terrihle thou art ! A great gulf lay between
this little one and the ohildren
trooping by, their lips warm with mother's
kisses-diands clasped in large and loving
ones?hearts beating high with fond anticipations.
It was only one atom of the
mass of orphaned humanity swept out
with the dust upon our streets?quite
alone, thin child that olung with suffering
hands to the window frame, and
shrunk from every passer-by. Young as
she was, she knew the polioeman's cry
of " Move on." and dreaded the rude
hand upon her tender frame?dreaded j
to take up the march again upon this
bitter night. Even that sound and J i
touch was wanting now. She was over | <
looked in the tide of festal joy. Whence | i
she came no one knew; where she was j
going, poor babe, who cared ? The !
signs of love, the looks of sympathy she j
saw, awakened in her nothing of fellow- 1
ship. Never, in the sad maturity of her
s'>ort life, could the little vagrant recall i
one single look that made her less a waif. <
And so she cowers, chill and friendless,
underneath the mocking glitter of the 1
stars, while up and down the street tho ]
winter's wind carried its ceaseless moaning.
Mr. Bright rubbed his hands as '
the shop cleared* of its last customer, i
He locked and barred the great door and i
then stepped lightly back into a parlor 1
in tho rear. i
Now it might have been that there '
were many Quer rooms and gayer scenes
Jlian this, but, I am sure, not one more '
full of glowing comfort in all the broad
city limits to-night. It peeped out of 1
the folds of red moreen that draped the 1
windows?it shone in every piece of tho 1
fltifT Vlftir-nlftfVl ori/1 molmnrnnw if
squared itself upon the tufted rug?it
simmered delightfully in an old fashioned
tea-kettle?and it culminated in the
persoc and preaence of a tortoisoshell
kitten that frolioked before the fire.
Everywhere the flicker of light showed
wreaths and sprays of holly, disposed by
some delicate hand.
And while John Bright settled himself,
after the manner of old gentlemen,
upon the rug, with his back to the
grate, there floated out from an inner
room the notes of a hymn, sung in clear
aud childish tones :
" To yon, this night, is born ? child
Of Mary, ohose mother mild ;
This little child, of lowly birtu.
Shall be the J jy of all your earth."
In another moment a fairy girl, with
flaxen braids, and eyes of serious sweetness,
came out and Btarted joyfully at
sight of him.
John Bright's big face grew beautiful
with tenderness as he caught her up in
his arms.
" Naughty father 1" she said, in mock
reproof, " to keep your housekeeper
waiting so long for her ten."
"Christmas eve, little woman, and
the poor folks all coming in for their
little treats, remember."
"And somebody sent his assistants
home early to their Christmas, and did
all 4lio i:?-J j? ?
iw? vuv HW4IV muiocil, puui tlU OU UCltr,
she added, passing her snow flake of a
band over his bald head with the dain- *
tiest of caresses. " He shall have some- x
thing nice and hot for his snpper, '
shan't he, kitten ?"'
The last named member of the family ' 3
had no idea of being left out, aud sat 1
saucily blinking her green eyes, on c
John's other shoulder.
"Put me down, please, father, now; J
[ must bring in the things myself tonight.
Isn't the room pretty? You
haven't said anything to my holly, '
pither, after I pricked my fingers so." *
After they had finished supper, and h
the room was again restored to order, 11
Tohn's arm chair was put into requisi- .
tion, and the fire piled high, for which 1
purpose he went out to a coal closet in" ^
the rear. ?
"Whew!" said Mr. Bright, bringing
in with him a fresh rnsh of frosty air.
14 Bad night out for them as wanders, H
my dear. God grant n shelter to such. .
It's making out to snow, Faith, before
morning, and who knows but what yon 8
will have your sleigh-ride, after all, these il
holidays?"
But Faith's face sobered. She had 13
lat down upon her cricket, and was lis- c
waning to the soughing of the wind, and g
thiuking of the homeless wretches she n
jould do nothing to relieve. John *
Bright could not bear a cloud upon liis
lading, so ho took her up close to his j 4
ieart. i i
" Nine years old to-night, Faith," he
mid, fondly. 44 Christma?sos have *
3a? sod me uy, many a time, my dear, e
out never a one left mo a gift like this, o
If on was singing something awhile ago g
ibout a child?what was it f?that was
;he joy of all the earth. That's what you
ire, mr pretty, that's it; the joy of all i
aay earth?that's it J"
44 But, father," Faith said, after he had c
done kissing her, 44 that did not mean a 1
sommon child. It is a pretty hymn
written a long time ago by a good man, s
for his little boy, on Christmas eve, and i
he meant the Savior. Would you like }
to hear the rest, sir?"
4'Go on, my pretty,goon," John said, 1
idiniringly; 44 if it ain't like a book to
bear the httle woman talk." c
Again the pure tones floated up. s
44 Now wo must talk about to-morrow," j
be said; 44 won't there be a famous din- f
ner, though, with little Faith behind the s
plum pudding?" t
4 4 And such a famous company, father I 1
You are to fetch old Mrs. Grimes after
church, and little crippled Tom, and I
the poor French dancing master and all
Ilia children. I am thinking of a tree for a
the children."
Womanly little Faith ! How demure- 1
ly she mapped out pleasure for her fellow
innocents. And John smiled, as if c
nobody had ever been charming before. J
After a while, his little woman came i
back to him in her thoughtful vein. She a
slid from his knee, and again perohed t
herself upon a stool where the fire-glow f
played over her flaxen hair and warm
blue woolen dress, decked at the neck c
with its bunch of holly berries. (
" Isn't it almost bedtime, pretty e
one?" m a
" Tes, father, in a minute. This has
been snch a pleasant Christmas eve all r
alone with you. I think it must have a
been meant for children to enjoy themselves
on the night when the deare f s
little babe of all was given to the I *
world." I j
Anil as they sat there, hedged in by
home comforts, and basking in each
other's warm love, a peal of bells clashed
out merily from a neighboring steeple,
11 greeting to the lioldxday in-coming.
" The dear old chime, father!" cried
Faith. "Hark! let us hear it out.
Please take me to the shop door, where
the wind will bring it near i"
He found a warm wrapping, and folding
li^r tight, led the way to the door
opening on the street.
The little girl grasped her father's
hand, and shivered as the icy atmosphere
broke on them.
Silently, silently, tho feathered snow
was falling through tho dim, deserted
itreet. Very fair and pure it is in its
myriad flakes, like flying down; but,
eerv chill and subtile when it wmnn
i mantle round tko prostrate human
form.
44 My Qod!" oned John Bright, suddenly
; 44 it can't bo !"
He let fall Faith's hand and darted
down the stop. Ho swooped down into
the drifted snow, and brought up the
tiny, dark tiling he saw lying there.
41 Oh, father, father," cried Faith, in
tones strangely old with anguish ; 44 not
i stray child to-night."
But it was a stray child, on this
Christmas eve, when other babes wero
safely housed, and nestling in warm
t>edB. A stray child, keeping her holiday
upon the frozen breast of mother
sarth.
They bore her in from the darkness
if the night, the bells still ringing out
:heir joyful peal; they cradled her upon
toft pillows, and chafed her thin limbs,
Faith pouring tears into the cordials
hoy forced between her teeth. The
ihime had long ceased when the
Granger opened eyes like faded violets
luce more upon the living world.
44 Are you warm, now, little girl?"
Faith's voice asked, tenderly.
44 And how came yoxi to freeze on my
iteps?" said John, speaking gruffly, to
ride the tremble in his own tones.
The little vagrant began to shiver and
ihrink away as he spoke, while a look of
liteous fear came over her.
44 Olil please, sir," she faltered, 441
ras a-lookin' at the shiny things, and it
vas warm behind the box."
44 Worm ! tho blessed lamb I Hear
hat, will you!" shouted John Bright.
4 You musu't talk now, little chap, only
['d like to know where your home folks
night be found. Mother an' father, yon
enow, or brothers an* sisters, an* such."
44 I hain't got none," said the child,
urning over on her pillow, and gazing
vith weak wonderment into the great
A _i ; 1~
;t;u in giuwuig CUU1H. "
, " Gran'ma, p'raps?" suggested John, j
ooking dowucast ; "or pastors and j
nnsters, or somethin' liko tlioso in the i
atechism. Eh, Faith ?"
" Nary," said tho little vagrant, j
aiutly nodding her head. " I don't !
>elong to nobody, please mister."
"But whore do you live, my poor lit- |
le girl ?" came in Faith's matronly
ores, as she stood, sober and patient, '
till chatiug the tiny discolored feet be- ,
eath the covering.
"I lived down in Bill Tibb's cellar
isl week, but Bill got caged by the
lerlice, and we cleared out. Bill was
rful drunk, and fit an' fit, but they
ound the tickers he stole. I dasn't go
tack that way and I took to corners, an'
ich."
The child's piping voice had become
hiuner and weaker still during this
peech, and sank away to a mere thread
s she finished.
John Bright strove to resist it, but was i
inally compelled to walk away to the
ither end of the room, and stand there
;r anting and swallowing hard for some
ainutes, while little Faith's clear eyes
fere brimming over.
"Oh, father, father 1" she sobbed ;
'think of having no home but that, and
lobody to care "?
While she wept, the stranger child
fas looking about with those wistful
yes of hers, and taking in the various
injects of tho scene with nn effort. The
jaze came back and rested upon Faith.
" I saw you onst," she said.
"Where, little chapf" asked John,;
toting this with delight.
"She was a sittin' in winder roun' tho j
mrner, and she had a shiny thing on her !
toad, and wings."
" It's Mr. Barker's Christmas angel
he's thinking about," shouted John, j
nan ecstasy. "The one you saw, my;
iretty, all made of wax, you know. If ;
t ain't a natural fanoy, I'll be dog'oned, >
Miith; but who'd a thought it ?"
He was arrested by the change ooming j
iver the child's faoe, as if all her i
trength were spent, and the frail tern- j
?le were tottering to its fall. The trans- ,
inrtjiiii hub cioHea wearily upon ino |
unkcn eyes. Tho wan lips met in <k.
hin, bine line, and the little hands re- '
axed.
"She is sleeping, father," whispered
?aith.
John felt the fluttering pulse of heart
nd wrist, and his face grew grave.
"It's something else, 1 fear, my child. ;
Vorse than that, my little Faith."
Midnight passed, and the snow with- ,
nit kept falling noiselessly. Indoors, !
rohn and little Faith held their patient i
dgil. She had refused to go to bed, I
nd all through the ebbing moments sat
enderly ministering to tno little suferer.
After a long time of silenoe, while the
ild clook in the oorner ticked in the
Christmas day, and the flro-glow soberid
to a dull and steady red, the child
tirred and spoke:
"Oh ! no, no, Bill; don't beat me ! I
tever stole nothin'. It was only a bone,
nd the dog dun left it."
"All right, little chap," said John,
nothing her with his great hand.
' No Bills and bones here, I'll promise
ron."
With fall consciousness, she lost her
Eiteons whimper, and let herself be
ushed to rest. Faith's gentle fingers
parted the tangled hair, and F.:itli's ripe
lips touched the wasted brow.
"You must not be afraid, dear!" she
said, "you have found friends, and we
will take care of you."
" I likos it," said the child, in a
whisper. " It's warm, and yon are
nice."
"Kin I stay here?" she asked, presently.
"Bill said his dog 'ud get me if
I runned away. He bit me oust, that
dog," and out of her childish lips quite
naturally, and without hesitation, came
an oath that made Faith shudder.
"Oh, you must not says those words
?you must not," cried the young
monitress. "It breaks my heart to
hoar you, and God will bo angry with
you."
"Who's he? Is it that 'ere?" said
the child, pointing toward John.
"Please, mister, don't get mad. I?
ain't"?
She was too weak to go on. Faith
leaned close down to her car, and spoke,
softly.
" God is your father, poor child, and
he won't bo angry if you tell him yon
are sorry."
" I never seed him ; I hain't g<^t
" Don't talk now. I'll tell you about
him the best I cau."
And, in her earnest fashion, Faith
told the wonderous tale. She spoke of
God's love, and to the ears of one hearer
at least her accents sounded like the
dropping of milk and honey from tho
promised land. And before she had finished
the sweet recital the child had sunk
into another period of light slumber, her
hand clasped in Faith's.
The firelight glimmered on the wall,
making a frieze, across which trooped
figures gaunt and shadowy, like the old
Ossianic heroes. Tho warm red of draperies,
and tho glitter of holiday garlands
sank alike into gloom,- and for a
long time no sound camo to the watchera,
save the ticking of the tireless
clock and the weakened breath ebbing
slowly out.
Suddenly tho vagrant opened her eyes
again.
" I'm a-clearin' out, please, mister.
Only it was warm."
' You?you are going, little one," said
Faith, sorrowfully. " Won't you ask
God to take you?"
" Is it warm up there?that plaoe you
said? Is there winters, too?"
"Yes; it is a beautiful place, and
you'll never be cold again, nor hungry,
nor anything, but God's own little
child."
" Oh ! please ax him?ax him to
take me "long," she said, with brightened
eyes. "That was good what you
said, 'bout that gentleman that sent his
sou."
Faith took the littlo hands, and folded
them in token of supplication. She
raised her own soft eyes, and the littlo
one looked upon her wonderiugly.
" Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed bo Thy name, Thy kingdom
come."
" Come," echoed tho stammering
lips.
That was all. as a wearv soul flut-1
tered out into rest. Only that, when
the " pilgrimshoon, too early worn and
grimed," were loosed, John Bright fell
down upon his knees, and Bobbed aloud.
As for Faith, it did not frighten her.
She quietly arose, and drew aside the
curtain, and there?
" The east and west, without a breath.
Mixed their dim lights like life and death.
To broaden into boundless day."
About Advertising.
If yon havo a good thing, advertise
it. If you haven't, don't.
If you don't mean to mind your own
business, it will not pay to advertise.
It's as true of advertising as of anything
else in the world, if it is worth
doing at all, it is worth doing well.
We don't recommend advertising as
tho best way to get a wifo, but we know
that it is the best way to get a good
trade.
Don't expect an advertisement to bear
fruit in one night, like tho prophet's
gourd. Advertising will take effect,
but it takes more than one night to do
it.
You can't eat enough in one week to
last a whole year, and you can't advertise
on that plan, either.
A large advertisement onoe and then
discontinued creates the impression that
the man has fizzled.
Injudicious advertising is like fishing
where there is no fish. You neod to let
the lines fall in the right place.
A constant dropping will wear a rock.
Keep dropping your advertisements on
tho public, and they will soon melt under
it like rock salt.
Large type isn't necessary in advertising.
Blind folks don't read newspapers.
A King's Example.
"Tho gentleman king of England"
had a plain country squire to dine with
him, one day. When game was put
upon the table, and the squire got a
snipe on his plate, he took it by the legs
anil began to twist them off in his rough,
hftm?uv ur.vin TI?A
??? a uti^uuouin wore
horrified. The king saw it, and knew
that if the squire should glance irp and
see their looks ho would know that he
was doing something dreadful, and be
covered with confusion; whereupon the
king took his own snipe by the legs and
began twisting them off, just as the
squire was doing. What a fine case of
the usual form of politeness withdrawing
behind tho principle which seeks to
protect the feelings of others !
Ttao Force of Circumstances.
Says a correspondent of the New York
Ijedger : Years ago?flve-and-twenty, .
at least?my friend and confrere, J. C.
Pitrat, sitting in my office, gave to me a
copy of announcements which had been ?
made in the Monitcur concerning the
movements of Napoleon Bonaparte.
Pitrat had been a priest, and also editor "
of a Paris newspaper in the time of "
Louis Philippe, and his relations to me
of his political experience in France s
were as instructive as they were inter- t
eating.
Here is the lirst announcement, ^
clipped from a copy of the Afonileut B
of March, 1815 : i
"The monster has escaped from his j
place of banishment. He has run away
from Elba."
Remember that Louis XVIIL had 1
been by the allied powers of Europe Jseated
upon tlie throne of his ancestors,
and that the quaking of the nation from 11
the tread of the late emperor had not yet ?
. ceased. There was a wondrous power in
Li-iCJ 11 Ulllt?. \ J
Very shortly following the first an- a
nounoement of the Moniteur came tho c
second, as follows : t
* Tho Ogre (worse than monster) of t
Corsica has landed at Cannes, on Cape
Juan. Ho has a few of his old gnard
with him." * J
On tho next day our truth-telling edi- '
tor wrote : v
" The tiger has shown himself at Gap. J
By order of the authorities the royal
troops, together with the whole force of
the police, are advanoing to arrest his p
progress. If he escapes the indignant n
power thus set against him, it con only p
be as a wanderer among the monntains. tl
Further escapo is impossible." a
Two days later the Moniteur publish- g
ed its fourth announcement:
" The monster has, we are credibly in- ^
formed, advanced as for as Grenoble. To
what treachery this is to be ascribed we .j
know not; but there must be treachery
somewhere."
Fifth announcement.?41 The tyrant .
is at Lyons. Concerning this there con
be no mistake. Fear and terror have
seemed to seize all at his appearanoe." *'
Sixth (two days later).?44The death- ?
dealing usurper has ventured to ap- ?
proach the capital, and, at this present "
writing, is within sixty hours' march. ?
"We know not the strength of the rabble 11
in his train."
On the next day the Moniteur said: 0
4 4 Bonaparte is advancing boldly, and by v
forced marches; but we do not think it <3
possible that he can reach Paris." (3
Eighth announcement.?44 Napoleon j
will doubtless arrive under the walls of \
I Paris to-morrow." I *1
Later the paper informed its eager
readers that "The Emperor Napoleon ,
is at Fontainebleau."
For the tenth announcement conoern
ing the movements of the historio Cor- j
Hican, the Moniteur loyally said to its
readers :
Yesterday, his majesty, the emperor,
made his public entry into the city, arriving
at the Tuileries in the evening.
The populace is carried away by enthu
siiism, and nothing can exceed the uni- ^
versal joy. France will be no longer the
plaything of the allied powers," 11
v
h
Deceiving a Watchman. b
A man employed to watch the medical ^
colleges in Indianapolis, to prevent the
stealing of subjects, gives the following Y
account of one night's experience : I *
kept up a brisk walk along the west end "
of the building, knowing that was the ft
only way to crowd them in, although I
occasionally varied my beat by going "
round on the other side of the block, ?'
passing both stairways. In the early
part of the evening I mot and passed a
good many pedestrians?men of rough s<
appearance?who went through the alley bi
in a leisurely way, as if bent more on is
tilling in time than anything else. As st
the gliostly hour drew near I saw fewer pi
of these rough prowlers, and finally b:
fonnd myself the sole wanderer in the 1 ti
alley. A little before midnight a light- ; a]
covered buggy turned in from the street. !
I I was quite near it, and by tho ligH .11 ...
the street lamp I saw it oontained two I rj
meu. The oue on the right was driving,
and chatting volubly to his oompaniou,
who iu turu responded in a different and .
somewhat coarser voice. Very good ^
friends they seemed to be, and very ^
civil, I thought. Of course, they could
have no "subject" concealed in that ?
littlo buggy that was scarcely large
enough to hold themselves. They stopped 01
suddenly, the driver speaking the word,
" whoa !" in an unusually loud tone ol* "
voice. I was close behind them, and a
saw a rope drop down from the upper c<
regions very unexpectedly to mo, but P1
not to the soft-voiced gentleman on the M
right side of the buggy. He caught tho 1*
end of it, and in an instant of time w
hooked it fast to his friend on the left,
and up ho went, whilo the chatty driver ^
drove off alone. Sure enough, the second
man was au uncommunicative
" stiff," and'I had been a consummate
fool not to think of it soonor. He went ni
up in less than five seconds, and was
snatched in at an upper window in a ai
twinkling. That driver was a clever ^
scoundrel, with considerable talent for y
ventriloquism. l
al
His Last.?Two men wore talking of
a death when one asked : " What were n(
his last words ?" " He didn't say any- _
thing," was the reply. " That s just ,,
like him," said the first man, with an
npproving nod. " There was no gas
about him. Ho was all business."
vi
??? ||
Tho art of getting out of debt does ei
not seem to interest some folks. It is "
the art of getting into it that they ap- a<
pear to study most. y<
Items of Interest.
The latest slang is : " Oh, poll down
rotir vest I"
There are sixty persons in the Massachusetts
State prison who are sentenoed
or life.
Switzerland possesses one hundred
ind sixty-eight cotton mills, running
1,059,850 spindles.
There are twenty-three men under
entenoe of death in various parts of
he United States.
A resident of Ecuador, being asked
that kind of soil his country had for
griculture, answered: " Excellent?if
t would only keep still for a month or
wo at a time."
A lady applying for admission to the
unior class of an eastern seminary, beng
questioned by the president as to
ler qualifications, replied: "I ain't
auch of an arithmeticser but I am an
legant grammarist."
A case in one of the civil oourts at
tan Francisco had to be postponed on
tcoount of a oonflict of jurisdiction, one
>f the jurors having been sentenoed to
wentv-four horns' imurinonment for in
oxication by a police magistrate.
A tyrannical Kentucky judge has derided
that no matter how anxious a
armer may be to push his work forward,
he has no right to harness his
rife to a plow. They had better jusice
than that a hundred years ago.
Mrs. Livermore says girls are not
articular enough about the men they
larry. Mrs. Stone, of Omaha, is so
articular about the man she married
bat she taken her sewing to his offloe
nd sits there all day till he is ready to
o home.
John Frederick Gunter went from
Jhioago penniless to Australia, twentyhree
years ago. He now advertises m
be Chicago newspapers that he is able
nd willing to help his relatives, and inites
them to write to him. And won't
e hear from them I
A London correspondent of the Bufilo
Commercial reports that CoL Valntine
Baker has offered his services to
be Emperor of Russia, that the offer
as been aooepted, and that the colonel
rill go to Russia as soon as his term of
mprisonment expires.
Four Vice-Presidents have died in
fflce. These were George Clinton,
rho died in 1812 ; Elbridge Gerry, who
lied in 1814 ; William R. King, who
lied in 1853, and Henry Wil on.
)aniel D. Tompkins, whose term as
rice-President expired in 1825, died
be same year.
The following is said to be a neverliling
cure for earache : Take a bit of
otton-batting, put upon it a pinch of
liir?V twntvr mithnr if. nn uwl tia if
ip it in sweet oil, and insect into the
ir. Pat a flannel bandage over the
ead to keep it warm. It will give imicdiato
relief. ,
Clay F. Smith, an aotor in a small
ftvehng company, flirted with a girl in
'hillicothe, Mo., and sent a note to her
irough a laundress. The girl's father
it-erceptod it, armed himself with a reolver,
and want to shoot Smith, who
ired a horse and started cat of town,nt
tho father overtook him and killed
im.
A murderer was recently brought from
7olf county to Liexington, Ky., foreafe
eeping. Four deputy sheriffs brought
im, and led him along like a bear, with
rope which passed around his body
id pifiioned his arms. One man led
im, and on each side and behind the
;her men were distributed, each with a
rawn pistol.
No man with an average amount of
ilf-possession need be without an umrella
on a rainy day. All he has to do
to step up to the first rtranger he
sos carrying a good one, and say: '' Beg
urdon, sir ; I believe yon have my umrellal"
The chanoes are ten to one
lat the fellow will stammer out an
lology and hand it over. ?
James W. Bass, a lawyer of Fond du
ac, Wis., has obtained a verdiet for
1,500 damagoa against the Northwestrn
railway for injuries in being forcily
ejected from the ladies' oar on one
1 its trains. Bass began his snit in
ane, 1872, and then obtained a verdict
>r 84,500. The supreme oourt granted
new trial of the case, and another jury
as confirmed the decision of the former
ae.
John Aired, of Borne, Ga., remarked:
I am fifty-two years old and don't owe
dollar ; haven't bought a bushel of
i>rn or a pound of meat sinoe the war ;
ever had a cross word with a neighbor
i my life, and never swore an oath ;
ever buy any clothing?have them spun,
oven and made at home ; never had a
wsuit with any one, and never was a
itness in court."
A Frenchman, who had lost an apointment
he held, having publioly denred
that it would cost the lives of
lore than five hundred persons, this
atement came to the cars of the pnblio
itnontiee, who nau turn arrestea, ana
died him what be lueant bj each a
ireat. "I have threatened no one,"
e replied; "I only meant that I was
txrat to turn doctor."
Servant?"I suppose, ma'am, I shall
ot have to wait at table I" Lady?" O,
0 ! I want a housemaid." Servant?
1 suppose, ma'am, I shall not have to
take the beds!" Lady (surprised, but
>mposedly,?"Certainly notl" Serinfc
(thinking the place will suit)?
And I suppose, ma am, T ?ha)l not be
cpeoted to answer the door t" LadyOf
oourse not! The fart is, 1 want a
\rvant to look at, ui.d 1 don't think
on will do 1"