The tribune. (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, October 06, 1875, Image 1

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

s THE TRIBUNE. VOL. I.?NO. 46. BEAUFORT, S. (J., OCTOBER 6, 1875. $1.50 PER ANNUM. Haunting Eyes. In tl?e hour I fbst beheld thee. Soft thy kiudly glance* fell. And my heart bowed down before thee, Ae beneath a magic spell Since that time, like some sweet phantom, In my home thy form doth rise, And where'er my sad gaze wanders, There I meet thy haunting eyes! Oh, those eyes! their lovely shadow Stole the light of life away, And my heart, in languid dreaming, Idly pines from day to day. Vain the evening's dewy coolness, Vain the calm of midnight skies; Even with darkness closing round me, Still I see those haunting eyes ! KITTY'S TRIAL. A Sketch of Southern Neftro Life. 17.? -I 1 1 * " ?' ' jl' ur ut ictiMi i>en uays miss ruuza, tlie housekeeper, had reported our little maul, Kitty, in a most unusual state of mind and body. Her ehiny black skin was becoming absolutely pallid?her broad mouth, always parted in rather noisy laughter, was closed, and her full lips tremulous ; her appetite was gone entirely?she was literally starving herself to death. The state of her mind was most distressing, for her utter wretchedness was painful to behold, and her silenoe as to its cause something remarkable in one formerly so communicative. Our curiosity was considerably excited by such a phenomenon, and our wonder was increased by the sudden announcement one morning that our excellent chambermaid, whose conduct while with us had been unexceptionable, had been arrested and carried off for trial before our village magistrate. What could it mean? Kitty's bosom friend, a lialfsimple girl about her own ago?sixteen ?gave us the desired information as she passed the house weeping bitterly, fol lowing in liia wake of the constable who was leading poor Kitty away. '* Me and Kitty was at the Cary street meeting-house Sunday 'fore last, and Kitty laughed at something, and one of thecolorod men?a big man in the church ?he say Kitty keep him from saying his prayers, and he meant to have her put in prison for it. Kitty and me have been scared to death ; and now they done come and took mypoor dear Kitty! Oh, oh, oh!" This, then, was the explanation of the whole mystery. Our merry little darkey had been to the colored Methodist meeting-houso two weeks before, and had disturbed one of the elders, a crossgrained old bachelor negro, who had no eyo for our maid's trim little figure and good-natured face, but a sharp one for an innocent female who might disturb his lordship's devotion. His threatening glancos, as wo afterward heard, had only increased her merriment, and he had left the church vowing vengAnnce. Behold the result! We were all a good deal troubled, for Kitty was quite a pet with us, and so sister Louise hurried' off in search of a gentleman friend whom she persuaded to accompany her to the magistrate's offico. Arriving at the miniature oourthouse, they found a crowd of negroes assembled before the door, looking grave and important, and so barricading the passage it was with some difficulty Mr. Jones forced his way in. He returned in a few minutes to say that the trial would not come off for an hour or two, as the sheriff had gone out to the country to summon some witnesses, fifteen or twenty of whom had already arrived and were waiting to bear testimony to Kitty's depravity. She had been informed she could send for any one who wished to testify in her favor, but had replied no one knew anything about it but Susie, and Susie was on the spot, still clinging to her friend, who, like herself, was frightened out of her wits. The fine which would be assigned in case of conviction would not be less than five nor more than twenty dollars, but if Kitty could not pay it, she would be sent to jail. Sister Louise begged Mr. Jones to remain there?help poor Kitty through the trial and pay the fine for her, so that she might return home in i peace. The room in which the magis trate sat was small, with a low ceiling I 1 l.'lll - * ? ? ~ 1 uuu uuii iiiLiu venuiacion. urowaod an it now was with negroes, many in their shirt sleeves, just as they were found at thoir work in the fields, the atmosphere Was anything but agreeable. The judge, a low, fat man, with a red face and heavy brow surmounted by spectacles, was soated by a table on which lav several large, dusty law books, the leaves of which he was turning in a pompons manner?as if the matter to be discussed before him was one of life and death, and the fates arbiters. Behind the door, on a three-legged stool, sat Kitty, with the faithful Susie crouched at her feet, both cold and trembling ; opposite them were ranged the witnesses, around whom thrpnged a number of darkeys of all agoH and both sexes. "We regret to keep you waiting, Mr. J ones; but we have had to send into the cohntry again, to attach George Wilson, another witness for the plaintiff." The gentleman bowed, and was about to speak, when he felt some one pull his sleeve. " Mass' Jones, is I got to 'tach anybody f" asked Kitty, in an alarmed tone. me poor giri B Tears were soon relieved on this subject, and the judge, again turning the leaves of his book, remarked: " I find Miss Catharine Taylor guiltv, according to the accusation brought against her, of quite a grave offense, in disturbing a lawful public assembly, and the fine is a heavy one for a person in her cironmstanoes. Shall I read what Blackstone," in his commentaries, says pn the subject ?" i Mr. Jones expressed liis thanks, but sc begged he wouldn't trouble himself; di Just at this moment a ragged little urchin st ran in, and hurrying up to the judge's table, said : " Mister, I say, please 's give me two cents' worth of ginger- tc snaps." 's The j udge rose with all gravity, walked to a small shelf behind him, took the ol cakes from a plate standing there, hand- is ed them to the boy, and receiving his J< pay, pocketed it, while he resumed the sc discussion of the case before him, referring constantly to his books, until again o] interrupted by one of tho witnesses, a tl gawky, hungry-looking, half-grown boy, who pulled the forelock of his hair, as e\ he said: "S'cuse mo, massa; but will you please gib me a cent's worth of yer w bulTsoyos?" tl " Oertaiuly, my friend," replied the af suave vender of sweets, as he walked with the dignity of a lord chancellor to tc his shelf, took down the glass jar of can- fe dies, and returned with the required le quantity of bull'soy es. The boy put down a five-cent piece, P' and whilo the judge searched his pockets for four pennies to give as change, he went on with his discourse unon what Blackstone said of offenses similar in hi character to that charged to have been I committed by Miss Catharino Taylor. Rf The twentieth witness for the plaintiff having at last arrived, the judge opened tl the case with all due solemnity, and requested Mr. Williams to take the witness stand and state his grievance. 111 The church elder, a tall, severe-look- h< ing colored man, with white hair and beard, stepped forward aud began his speech. eI " May it please your honor, Sunday ?h 'foro last I was at my church, as every ft' 'spectable colored person should be tl when there's preaching. I showed tne hi folks to their proper places, and put H that wicked young person, Miss Catharine Taylor, in a comfortable position, where she could attend to her duties like tl a Cliristian, and then I retired to my ?] own seat to enjoy myself in hearing the preacher, and joining myself in the hi prayers ; but you b'lieve me, sir, ?liat tl wicked young 'oman, the prisoner at the bar, disturbed my devotions with her 111 laughing and chattering, so that it was hi no. use to try and 'tend to my own T Christian business any more. She dis- " tnrbed the whole congregation, please 81 your honor, and- I know 'tis the duty w and pleasure of you gentlemen as regil- tl ales the laws to see that the laws is 84 obeyed ; and I can prove by myself and e' these colored gentlemen here that she's cl broke 'em?eveiy one?and that she de- hi serves to go to the court jail, and live on hi bread and water 'till she learns man- tc ners." fr 44 Thank yon, Mr. Williams ; that will H1 do. You have stated your caso clearly, S and?ahem?laconically. You see, Mr. h< Jones, your little maid is prone to err, m act rAffar/la hnr rolirrtnna /lufiou lilrn ! *" fl) rest of iib, ami, also, must pay the pen- i" alty of her guilt. Mr. Wilson, will you please come forward and testify to the C best of your knowledge and belief ?" ar George Wilson, a jolly-looking darkey, left the ranks and came forward, grin- dl ning from ear to ear. P1 He whs duly sworn, and then asked if P Mr. Williams' statement was correct; if ir he himself was at church on that fatal night ; and if ho was interrupted iu his devotions by Kitty's laughter. "Yaas, massa, I was at church dat |n night, for I always goes to meetiu' if I . kin git dere, and 'tis sartin sure Kitty ^ she ilere too. and sho got to laughing ^ like, and 'sturbed folks mightily. Ebery !? word Brudder Williams say is true ; but, massa, she ar'n't nothing bat a gal yet, w and gals will liab deir fun, makes no dif- Pl ference whar dey is:" w "That will do, Mr. Wilson. Wo see your evidence is against the prisoner, duc your Kina neart recommends her to our mercy on account of lior youth." ai "I s'pose you say de right ting, is massa ; but I ain't got no book larnin' like dese young ones, nowadays, as goes n< to school. I know one ting, massa, I tells de truth, and notliin' but de truth, tli I ain't pomsious myself, like some folkH > L know ; I don't put on airs jist 'cos I ki knows I'se free man now?lives to my- in self and works for myself, and puts tie money straight in dis ole pocket, wliar p< it stays till de ole womau comes and gi steals it all ; and, bless yon, don't leave me 'nuf to buy my 'b?ocer." ly A half-dozen other witnesses were called, all of whom tostiticd clearly di against Kitty. "If Mr. Williams is satisfied, I think ^ we might now examine the witness for ^li the defendant. A bad caso against your client, eh, Mr. Jones?" w; Susie, the half-witted friend of Kitty, like a hunted deer, sprang to her feet m when her name was called. Some one had whisnered in her ear (we Rftflrnmnl 1. discovered) that her eyebrows would turn white if she told a falsehood while tli under oath, and the girl was wild with 'e terror lest such a misfortune should befall her. hi "Miss Susan, what can you say in or favor of your friend i Did she, or did she not, laugh and disturb the worship- ai era at the meeting ?" " I?I dunno, sir. Sho didn't do noth- to in' as I see but laugh a little bit. I th b'lieve she laugh?maybe she didn't? please, sir, don't send her to jail 1 'Deed, sir, she didn't do nothin' to hurt no- E, body I" "Your client's friend's evidence is rather against her?eh, Mr. Jones? We had l>etter not ask hor any more ques- pi tions. Miss Catharine Taylor, you are fu allowed to speak in your ovarii defense if ty you wish it. My friends, the law is ai just, anil allows a prisoner this privilege. d< Doesn't it, Mr. Jones?" said the judge, Ii wiping the perspiration from his fore- ar head with a rod silk liandkerchief. v< Kitty had to wait until the judge had la )lil two cents' worth of peppermint rops before Bhe oonld speak for her)lf. "All I've got to say is that I didn't turb nobody at church. I'm not going ?lie about it. I did laugh, but I didn't turb nobody !" " Uusli, .hush ! The prisoner is not jliged to criminate nerself. The law very explicit on that poiut?eh, Mr. snos ? You kuow what Blackstone iys ?" Mr. Jones didn't know Blackstone's 3 in ion, and didn't care to hear. Would le judge please proceed with the case? "All that remains is to sum up the ridence, and decide according to law." Uonld 1 cross-examine some of the itnesses, and see if it is iiot possible to irow a better light on the whole Tair ?" " Certainly, Mr. Jones ; as you wish > act as volunteer counsel for the deudant, the law allows you this privige-" Mr. Jones asked George Wilson to apaar again. " You say Kitty laughed. Did she ugh aloud or noisily ?" " Wal?no, massa, I ain't never hear ?r. I see dirudder Williams frown, and looked 'round, and I see her smile jaiu, pretty broad, and put up her Snare and look at Brudder Williams trough dem." " But did she disturb you at all ?" " No, massa, she ain't 'sturbed me aue. Gals is gals?dey ain't like r>ys." Another and yet another witness was iked if Kitty's laughter was loud lough to interfere materially with their avotious, and a little cross-examination ways resulted in the final confession tat the party had seen Brother Wiliims' discomfort, but had felt none lemselves. Meanwhile the crowd of spectator a, 1 of whom were in deep sympathy with ie light-hearted Kitty, listened admirigly to Mr. Jones, with eyes starting om their sockets, so intently did they mg upon his words, as he summed up ie testimony. " If the judge will allow me to expreso y opinion, I should, from what wo have aord during the trial, say that Catharine aylor has been guilty of irreverence in place of public worship; and that in ) doiug she annoyed one of the elders, hose place it is to see that all deport lemselves properly on the occasion of a srvice in the church. Beyond the mere Tect on Mr. Williams feelings as lurchwarden, no harm seems to have aon done. No ono else seems to have aard any noise, or been induced even > look towards the prisoner, exoept om having their attention drawn to the >ot by their elder's evident discomfort. rcIi being the case, the plaintiff cannot 3 said to liave proved his statement? unely, that Kitty disturbed the worlip of tlio congregation. I move the dictment be quashed." " Yon are right, Mr. Jones, aud Miss athariue may thank you for having gued lier case so admirably. You have ie law on your side ; the accusation of sturbing a public assembly is not oved ; therefore, we can only repriaud the prisoner for her acknowledged reverence, and dismiss her." A burst of applause from the spectars followed, aud a crowd collected ound Mr. Jones to shake hands with m, aud thank him for "spoakiug so iautifully for Kitty?just like a born wyer, for all the world !"?while David rilliams strutted out of the room in a ate of virtuous indignation; aud isie, the only one of the throng who as not laughing boisterously, kept ap?aling to Kitty to know if her eyebrows ere white. It Is the Nature of the Bea?t. Frogs, toads and serpents never take ly food but tliat which they are satisfied alivo. If a bee, wasp or hornet stings, it is ?arly always at the expense of his life. Serpents are so tenacious of life that if.y win live nil uiuiil/UH willioui IOOU. The head of a rattlesnake Iioh been lown to inflict a fatal wound after beg separated from the body. If the eye of a newt is put out n.iother jrfeet eye is soon supplied by rapid owtli. Fishes have no eyelids, and necessarisleep with eyes open. Alligators fall into a lethargic sleep iring the winter, like a toad. There are agricultural ants in Texas tat actually plant grain and reap before ie harvest. Naturalists say that a single swallow ill devour six thousand flies a day. Tho tarantula of Texas is nothing ore than an enormous spider. A single codfish produces more than 000,000 eggs in one season. A whale suckles its young, and is lereforo not a fish. The mother's afction is remarkable. Toads become torpid in winter and de themselves, taking 110 food for five ' six months. Serpents of all species shed their skins innally, like sea crabs and lobsters. Tnrtles and tortoises have their skeleno narflw nilf.ui la r\f 1 noton/I a# j'.? v.j i/uv?<4v uidvoou ut nmuui| e body. It is believed that crocodiles live to > hundreds of years old. The ancient gyptians embalmed them. The Hop Crop. Tlio Jirewe.ru* (Juardian says the 'ospect in Kuglaml continues fair for a ill averago yield of hops of good quali'. On the continent rain is needed, id unless it comes soon the crop will lie i ierea^vl and tho quality deteriorated, i France and Germany tho hopflelds i e somewhat troubled with mold and 1 irmin. In Belgium the yield will be 1 rgely over the average. ] THE PHILADELPHIA CENTENNIAL. The Space Co be Occupied by the Bulltllnaa Erected. Philadelphia is preparing to take the lead iu the way of exhibitions or world's fairs at the Centennial next year. A comparison of tlio ground to be covered by the buildings at Philadelphia with that covered in other cities is interesting. Here it is so plain that all can understand it: Pndiable area covered at Philadelphia 1*7ft?75 acres j Vienna, all courta covered? M 5-10 acres Vienna, no oourta cov.?38 S-10 j Paris. 1867?SI acres. ' Ixnidon, 1863 -25 6-10 London, 1851?1 23 a^res. I I 1 I 1 ! s *- I 3 I -? ! i *2 ' ? I x I * I ? I i * i 3 i j i J i A Detective's Blunder. The Virginia City (Nev.) Evening Chronicle relates this incident: About two mouths ago a young lawyer of this city and his newly-acquired wife were returning from a visit to the bay. Wearied a trifle with constant billiug and cooing, the young husband made some feeble excuse or other and slipped off to the smoking car to burn a cigar and think with a sigh of tho departed bachelor days when ho could spit out of the window ovor liis boot toes, with none to say : 11 Oh, please, Steve, dear, don't I" The bride, with rather an injured ex pression, war sitting 111 lior palace car, musing on the waning ardor of lier Stephen, when she suddenly discovered that she was the center of attraction to the whole car. Two vongh-lookiug men were standing in the aisle, gazing at her closely, and then referring to a paper which one held in his hands. Before the astonished and indignant lady conld collect her thoughts, one of the men took the vacant seat beside her, and with a knowing wink observed: " A good get np, Nancy, but it won't do. You're copped dead to rights this time, honey." "Sir!" gasped the 'riglitoned lady, shrinking back into the furthest corner. .".By tl lie big stick," said the man, admiringly. " Nance, you'd ought to a-gone on the stage. I never eee anything better done. But it won't do. You've got to come back with us, Nance, an' you stand a mighty good chance of goin' over the bay for live at shortest." " Sir, what do you mean !" exclaimed Mrs. , thoroughly alarmed and starting to her feet. " Will no gentleman protect me from the insults of this fellow ?" Half a dozen gentlemen sprang forward at this appeal. "Gentlemen," said the man, "jist 'tend to your own business, and I'll tend to mine. I've been hunting this bird for two months, and more, and T've cmt her at last. She puts on a good deal of style, but if you've ever heard of Nance Brown, one of the 'cutest thieves on the coast, here she is. I'd have takeu her quietly, but if she wants to make a row, it's her own business. I'm Detective , and here's my warrant." " Oh, this is intolerable," cried the poor lady, bursting into tears of indignation and shame. " Gentlemen, my husband, Mr. , is on the train. Go find him, for Heaven's sake !" There presently appeared about the wildest-looking lawyer outside of Stockton. The detectives grinned at the vehement explanations of the husband, and the other officer warned him to be quiet, or he would arrest him for interfering. Fortunately there were several Virginians on the train, and they at onoe identified the lawyer as a resj>ectable citizen, though, the marriage being recent, they liad not known the lady. The detectives were profuse in their apologies, and got out of the car in double quick order, looking more sheepish than any thief-takers have a right to look, and Hurwirino it- moa est resemblance t5oy had ever seen. Poor. Sydney Smith's penmanship was wretchoa. His wife once asked him to interpret a passage which she in vain tried to spell out, and he answered that " ho most decline ever reading his own handwriting fonr-and-twenty honrs after he had written it." His friend Jeffrey's writing was not much better. " My dear Jeffrey," wrote Smith on one occasion, " we are much obliged by your lottor, but should bo still more so were it legible. I have tried to read it from left to right, and Mrs. Smith from right to left, and we neither of us can decipher a single word." A DISEASED COMMUNITY. Nothing to Do bat PeddleScu4tl~A Jttentedy Tor the Dlwue. j Ouo of the worst diseases that can afflict a community is scandal. When said community arrives at such a state of affairs as that described by an Atchison (Kansas) paper, it is to be pitied. The paper avers that "the whole atmosphere is tainted with the infamous ' stories of pestiferous character-vampires who, with a malignancy as persistent as ; it is dovilish, torture the most innocent < acts into guilt and the most liarmless in- 1 discretions into crimes." Moreover, " these harpies of both sexes devote al- | most their whole time to their malign i .work." i Moralizing on the sod state of affairs, the New York Tribune Bays: Every well meaning man should consider how much good he can do withont taking a great deal of trouble, either by listening to ill-natured gossip with an air of indifference or of impatience, or by indignantly refusing to listen to it at all. For we must consider that a great proportion of the stories disadvantageous to personal character which are afloat, are really none of our business, and in no way concern our happiness, our prosperity, or our success. Now, we will suppose that a man of good character in Atchison, when one of these slanders is whispered to liim, makes the whisperer un-. mistakably to understand that he considers himself insulted by the sneaking recital. "What have I done that you bring this unclean report to me ? What reason have you for believing that I would like to hear this ? Do I regard it as true or false ? Sir, or madam, I think nothing about it whatever, nor do I intend to think about it. O ! it will not keep mo awake o' nights?this hint that Mr. lias gone wrong or that Mrs. is no better than she should be. No more of your insults if you please?that is the point about whioh I am principally oonoerned. Your talk is contamination. Be off with you 1" Let them try this in Atchison as a remedy for the prevailing epidemic, before they betake themselves to the persuasive pistol and the argumentative bowie knife 1 A few honest ones making this contemptuous stand against the foul sea of detraction, will work wonders. Slandor should be one of the most disreputable vioes in this vicious world ; but ou the other hand, it is a sin into which tolerably well-meaning talkers fall, partly because they mast talk about something or somebody; and partly because there is on exaltation of ourselves in the depreciation of others. It is the resnlt sometimes of idleness , and vacuity of life ; sometimes of jeal- , ousy and irritation at our own failure j where another has snoceeded ; not sel- . dom of habit caught in streets and j shops, as the measles ore caught in the public schools. Warring against it must be personal, and not general or public. Taming Clams. When taken young, the Graphic says, I clams, dull and stupid as they look, may be tamed, being readily touched by kindness and good treatment. A friend \ of the writer had one which was quite ] domesticated and a general favorite of the household. At a word or a touch j from the hand of his master he would , open his shell and eat from the tip of , his finger, previously moistened with sea ] water rich with the infusoria which form its natural food. It even learned to recognize its master's footstep, and it ' was touching to see the joy it would ex- J press when my friend approached it; at such times it would open its shell and make its peculiar cry until it was' taken , up, when it would neatly against his warm hand, feed, and then sink quietly into a deep sleep, or purr somewhat like a \ young kitten. For some reason the 1 clam was called Evil-Merodach, to which j name it would respond whenever ad- j uressea. xurougu tne carelessness of an ignorant servant-girl it met its end by falling out of a window where it had been placed, as was customary after its evening meal, that it might enjoy the twilight, of which it was very fond, and in which it would sing quietly to itself, dreaming perhaps of its early days and friends. The shell was broken, and notwithstanding the most careful nursing, it died in a few hours. Nettle Goes Visiting. " Ain't you surprised to see me t" said a tive-year-old girl, as she tripped into my house in the midst of a rain storm. "The rain fell all over me like it ran down through a strainer, and I shooked it off, but it wouldn't stay shooked. I asked God to stop, but there was a big thunder in the way and he could not hear me, I underspeck; and I 'most know ho couldn't see me, 'cause a black cloud got over my head as black as?anything ! Nobody oouldn't see little girls through black clouds. I'm going to stay j till the sim shines, and then, when I go ( home, God will look down and say: " ' Why, there's Nettie ! She went to see her anntie right in the middle of the j rain;' and I guess he'll be jnst as much eiprised as you was !" A Missouri family history runs thus : Hiillie Wilhite ran away some years ago with her brother-in-law, Aaron Davis ; he, however, returned to his wife, and she married a Mr. Neely, who eloped and left her. Two years ago her oousin, Kzekiel, ran away with a Mrs. Winland, both parties leaving families Last month Aaron Davis' son, Marion, a boy of nineteen, ran away with his mother's sister, a woman of thirty, and to comph. -iters his father haaagaiq eloped wim **?*? sister-in-law, Sallie. 'Items of Interest. Bags hare no sense of propriety. Pound a boy sufficiently and he will become a simple-ton The skull of a Troy man, who was killid by its fracture, was only a sixteenth )f an inch thick at the base. A New Haven boy would have been killed by the kick of a horse had it not tieen for stolen apples in his pocket. A boy in a wild state, about twelve rears old and unable to talk, has been captured by some hunters in nothern Texas. When will men learn that there is moh a thing as " legitimate banking," uid that it is criminal to speculate with trust funds? The money appropriated for public instruction in France does not reach the avoI nf Mnononlinsm^fn' Vinrlrvnf 4na? tame purpose, " Our common mother's unfortunate fruit speculation," is the latest way of referring to that misfortune which compels us to work for a living. It is stated that Baltimore is now the only city in the United States where girls are not employed in some of the printing offices as compositors. An East Oranby (Conn.) fanner has the original deed to the land on which be lives. It has been in his family for one hundred and sixty-two years. A drunken man slid head first into a Sue of a church at Pittsfleld, and two carpenters destroyed a hundred dollars' worth of the building in getting him out. " I never sot my hand to writm* poetry bill two years ago, ' said a young ruralist, Lilting back in a grocery chair, " bat the minute I took to goin' with that Johnson girl, by gosh ! I couldn't help it." An equally unreasonable old landsman onoe said of the tribe who oamed walking-sticks : " Everybody is fitted for something useful. Now a young man who can't do anything else can oarry a sane. Feminine logic?Precise old aunt : " It's no use, Emily ; I should never alter my opinion of tne young man, not if Jou were to oonvinoe me ever so much. don't like him, and even wild horses couldn't make me." Society News.?Mr. F. O. Follansbee's terrier, " Jip," that went to Swampaoott in July, has returned to town and will pass a week with its maternal parent before joining the family cat at tne city mansion. A man remarked to a friend of his the day after the funeral of his wife that he never saw a man take anything so hard ind weep so bitterly as he had at the bouse. The mourner responded: "Oh, pshaw! yon oughter 'a seen me at the grave V % There was once a sea captain who deBlared that in all his expense* he never failed to meet bad weather when he had an board his ship a man who parted his hair in the middle. "I don't know how it is," said the anaient mariner,' " but the elements oan't seem to tolerate that habit. It is too frequently the case for papers to ridicule the oofiege graduate as a helpless and useless individual. Mr. A.very, of Yale, however, graduated only \ month ago, and already he has secured % position of trust at a salary of $3,000 a vear. It is as pitoher of a professional base ball club. A mother visiting Detroit with her laughter, a girl of fifteen, said to the ;hild who was about drinking a glass of *oda water : " Now, Mary, be careful. Don't gulp it down at three swallows md get exploded all to pieces by the gas, But sip, sip and don't run any risks." It was a rioh old widow who wondered hat the handsome young man had fallen in love with her. " Yes, It is wonderful," said Mr. Spraoeup ; " but I do love you to distraction ; why, I even love the ground you walk on." " I thought so," observed the widow ; " but [ am not in want of a landlord at pressnt." Lightning struck a telegraph wire near the Connecticut river depot at Northampton, Mass., cutting it in two. It passed into the offioe in the depot, melting the wires, placing around the instruments, and scorching the walls of bhe room. Nobody was injured, although the operator felt strange sensations. This is the way oompulsory education BDerates in Sootland. In Olsaoow. out a} 14,174 children not at school, 6,846 were sent on aooount of warning or remonstranoe, 3,103 after service of no* tice, 711 after the parents had met the ichool board, and 44 after the parents jad been prosecuted. Both in catv and country the law is said to work well. The wheat crop of Franoe in 1874, aox>rding to the report of the minister of igri culture, was 124,000,000 hectoliters >f 2201 pounds avoirdupois each, the, argest crop France ever produced, equal o 455,700,000 bushel*. _The annual xmsumption of wheat in Ifranoe for ail inrposes is abont 330,750,000 bushels. France had probably a surplus from last rear's wheat crop, over and above her innual consumption, at about 124,960,>00 bushels. A young man in Munioe, Ind., was easorting a young woman to his home in * ferriage the other day, when he came to a >riilgo that had been overflowed br a resliet. Me drove his horse into the vater, but when the carriage was threatmod with submersion and the horse befall making an effort to get away, he out he traces, sprang upon the animal'sbaok ind set for snore, leaving his companion n the middle of the stream. The tor ent overturned the ct^rjjgo and the girl vas drowned. '