The tribune. (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, September 29, 1875, Image 1

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# # # ^ '** . 4 ' \S? 5S THE TRIBUNR q ~~ ~ 77 ... r" ' ~ -ya 45. BEAUFORT,. 8. ., SEPTEMBER 20, 1875. $1.50. PER ANNUM. ll/tLHT n,R,",n' * The reapers bend their lusty backs ; Their sounding sickles sway ~ At every stroke the golden sea "A <1 * -Recedes to give them way, The heavy ears fall bowing down, And nestle at their feet. Such will, such work, as tlieir's perforce Must w inmust homage meet. . ?qf? *? -- 9 So oftreleBB of fcitigu%tlioy go, . * So true, so steadily, Tho admiring traveler on the road Leans o'er the gate to see ; With marvel of tho soon-fallen breadth The lonnging gossips tell; But the reapers lnbor for us all; 'Tis need they should work well. Ere the great sun that burns above Shall crimson in the west, And tho cThldreu's poppy nosegayB fade, And they lib down to reBt, Each golden spear that upward points , Shall fall upon the field, And the farmer drain a sparkling glass, Rejoicing o'ortho field. My, bonny men, your sickles bright, And give the people bread At overy conquering stride you take On want and woe you troad. Drop, heavy ears, and give the strength You gathorod from the plain, Tliat men may rise refreshed and firm, Aud do great things again ! Qod bless the hands, all hard and brown, That guide the cleaving plow, That cast abroad the shining Becd, And build the wealthy mow ! They rear the bread our children eat; 'Tin by tbeir toil we live ; Hurrah ! give them the loudest cheer That grateful hearts can give ! THE BANK PRESIDENT. r nun i-nvcriy 10 rowrr?ADiblllon or itlcn I ltorn'I,o??Tlie HnnU of California Noth- i luff bat William it. Hal?ton?Tlic Enor- ] houm Anpirntioiin nnd Ucallnffa of Both.4 | From mate of a Mississippi steamboat < to head of one of the largest banking in- j stitutions in the world?undoubtedly i the largest in this Western half of the ? world?seems a transformation dazzling ] and dramatic. But it >vns a gradual one. J In this instance, as in all others, it was < no royal road that led to position and i {lower. The climb was a hard one and 1 lad its different stage's and halting 1 fihices; by no single bound was the < leight readied. Different indeed the fall looking up, men won- \ dered ; to-day, looking down, they stand 1 aghast. Fot one of the adveidrmiiia ,1 who then sto<id with feet seehxthgly i firm nlanted hierh no the hill. whfah no. / many aspire to eliinb, now lies a crushed and sLyipeless mass at our feet. ?iess far indeed from top to bottom than from bottom to top ; for the one journey years are necessary, for the other a single * minute suffices. It is very hard at just this point io retrain from preaching. But I will. Thj^.oorpse found floating and drifting about the bay of San Francisco has been dragged ashore,' and if you can look upon it without learning somothing, all that the gliastly lesson conveys, indeed, a sermon would'but be thrown away. William C. Ralston was the most restless and ambitious man I ever knew, and among restless and ambitious men my lot has principally fallen. As already hinted, his beginning was an obscure , one. The precise details of his early life I do not remember, and will not endea vo* to repeat, though I have had them from his own lips. But unless I much mistake, the banks of the * Mississippi river were the only banks with which he ? had to do prior to immigrating to California in the early gold days, and with these ho had to do in the capacity o? mate?some say d ?ck-hand only?of a storn-wlieel steamer. To the comparative lowness of this starting point, may we not attribute-that Atmiinnrr amhitmn nrbinli lo/1 9 wiu>'XVtv/ll TTiUl>U UU WU ? 11U1 | I For yon may have noticed tbat men born i to a middle station in life plod always t in it contentedly, while those born in the lower levels are scarce ever satisfied 1 till they have climbed to the tqp of the i social shaft. It does not exactly "follow i that those who start on the top round of i the ladder are uneasy till they have t climbed to the bottom, bat it' is very ^ frequently the case. In this matter 1 society is like the ocean, that Which f breaks loose from the bottom struggles. 1 up, and good ships which are -launched t and expected to swim on the surface go i down if uccident knocks a hole in them, i * Little by little, Mr. Ralston got on.. But i tho more he got on the longer were his < strides. Most men set for themselves . a point in life at which to rest when reached?at least they say they will rest ] at it; ho never did. * The Only point i where he proposed to stop "Was when he i had gotten as far as he could go, and i this programme carried with it very few ] limitations as you can well imagine. Nothing shbrt of all could Satisfy the | man. As in business, so with pleasure. < For pleasure in itself he did not really i care?indeed, I much doubt if ho know ) what it was. Lavish surroundings con- | tributod little to his happiness, but ho i maintained the establishment of aprince. How it was afterward, when railroads i came to be built, I do not know, bnt in tho day of my knowledge he was whirled to his country seat bv relays of horses at tho close of each day's bnsiness, with all the speed and more of style than any two railroads could furnish. For horses, as horses, he cared vory little, and- abont horses, as horses, he.knew leas ; but his stablos were full-of the most famous of goers. For wine, ho had no inordinate W - fondness, I think, bnt down in his oellars you found brands whioh aro commonly pnpposod to be reserved for the tables if royalty alone. His "hospitality " vae marvelous ; but I do not know that wy one can say he was hospitable. Go to him with a letter of introduction?or without one, if you happen to be an jnunent editor, prize-lighter, lawyer, theologian, or a member of any one of the learned professions?and he insisted jpnii juu iuub.uig him imuHe your ltoiiiu while yon stayed, furnishing you with aorses, steamboats, palace cars, or anything else you wanted to go with when jrou went. Invited down to liis country seat, you were at liberty to remain as long as you pleased, and perhaps you would not see four host more than once during your visit. Tho whole ranolie and all it contained were at your disposal, however, rnd if a man cpuld not enjoy himself with such freedom of range as this, the [ault surely could be but his own. I [ have heard it said that the Bank of California allowed him JB25.000 a year wherewith to entertain Eastern visitors. Again, I have heard it stated that no limit was fixed, but that a carte blanche was given him to entertain valuable visitors as he pleased, and that at the end of the year he drew for the total expense incurred. If you ask me which of these stories I believe, I reply, without the least hesitation, neither! You have heard of tho Bank of California, of which William C. Ralston was president at the time of his death, perPaps. Bo you know what it was ? No ? Well, the Bank of California was William 0. Ralston. At the time of its organization ho was cashier only, it is true, but if you suppose that tho president of i bank is anything less or is meant to be anything more than a respectable figurebead, you know less about banks in cen anil, anil New York banks in particular, than one would suppose possible in this ige of general enlightenment. As aashier, William C. Ralston ran the bank. As president lie ran the bank, rhe bonk he always was, anil when the bank no longer was, he died?by suicide, MJine say?naturally enough, say I. Here you have the whole history of the t>ank in a nutshell. As for the directors jr trustees, all, they were good men and rich men, undoubtedly ; and as such they, in comtnori irith other stockholdirs, will now have an opportunity of performing the first real duties which ;he. honorable situation of stockholder or lirector makes imperative, viz., paying n a handsome assessment to make their itock good. Thus the end crowns the vork, and perhaps some day the day of iummies will bo done. It may be complained that I have writ?n too much about an individual and too little nbout an institution.* But it -necessary to tall what the one was n order to explain the workings of the jthor.; Tlio Bank of California was rettless and ambitious, in direct response io the characteristies of its founder, rhe two pulses beat together. As a ynonym for strength, its name on the Pacific coast long ranked next to that if the Bank of England. As a# power, ihe Bank of England was but a country ichool master in comparison with this nost despotic canpn?locally considered, L mean. The Bank of California either xmtrolled, or meant ultimately to gain .he control of everything on the coast, [t was at any time ready to contract to ake all the quicksilver, all the cattle, or ill the wool that the conntry produced. V small slice of a valuable mine would lot be touched at any price But go to t with a controlling interest to dispose >f, and you could name your own terms ?that is to say, if William C. Ivalston vented it. Anything that he wanted, from a Congregational church to a maintain iu the uttermost wilderness of Nevada, the Bank of California was wiling to buy or take on deposit. It was a lower in politics, a mighty engine in elections, a Colossus bestriding the ItaUv as well as the mastodon of the municipality of San Francisco ; admit;edly it controlled the courts, but still its estloss arms were outreoched' for furilier oouquest. (Again I find it very lard to refrain from moralizing. I'll do t, though, or perish nobly in the ttempt.) Tf tr/in rlnnm fliinli o mnnnixo nn Al J v/1* MVViil ( U1UI1U|/U1J (13 l/IIU Sank of California actually was (to say lotbing of what it threatened to become) letrimontal to the morals of a commality, injurious in the highest degree to he welfare of a State, I'll not quarrel with you. But if you think such a nonopoly has ever reared its head, or jono 011 breathing for any comfortable .engtli of time,'' without getting bowled lowu d? tke| good Lord's earliest leisure, you're less devout than I, and well say nothing nioro about it, for tear of getting, into a theological disputation, a sort of judgel play that should be avoided in August. It never seomed to me that William C. Ralston did business for the purpose of making money, exactly. Ho did business mainly for the sake of doing business, and this, to my thinking, is not the legitimate end of business doing. If the nxcitement alone is wanted, why not. gamble? Why do business unless you rlrx if- nrifV* o oiinnoao ir? wint" 9 Tt it's to como to the same tiling at lust, I, for one, had rather lounge than seize the greasy reins of commerce in my mad grasp. Sooner far would I go eliarioteering through the world in au ox cart than driving a random tandem. So with pleasure. If there's no fun in it, I don't want any. (As for lugging a niuo-ponnd gun over the fair face of creation, a swampy swale below and a blistering July sun above, with a chance perhaps of getting one woodcock, but more of a oertainty sof getting none, no more of that for me.) Tlie man who doesn't*like drinking for its own sake is a fool to get drunk, and why should one who's not fond of riiling tako the risk of a broken neck, simply because his next-door neighbor jogs round on horseback- ? William C. Ralston did not care enough about money to keep it after it was made. What wedded him to his work was the ^ excitement attendant upon making im- ^ mense trades and moving millions. As ^ for keeping the money he made, that never entered his miud?he scattered it [j broadcast on every side. It was as though a man should ptunp away for dear life and all the while have nothing but Hj a bottomless vessel to hold hispnmpings ?yes, as though one should pump away, with clang and nose, but have never a r? valve in his pump. Men do this some- j1( times, for exercise. But exorcise Ls not r{ work. One must have a serious purpose ^ in view, or even the swinging of dumb- w bells avails not. And if I had not reso- y>( lutely resolved to refraiu from pointing n] a moral, I would say "right here that the w want of a worthy purpose is just the ej hole in which William C. ltalston aud 'a his bank went under. But I prefer that a. each reader should apply the great a| ethical blister, which 1 have bj gener-. aj ously spread for himself. Place it where it wul do the most good, please. a] William C. Ralston was not a bad man w in reality. True, he did very many ^ things which are commonly esteemed cj bad; but I do not tliink that he put ^ much heart into them. There was little of earnestness or vim about any of liis fr dissipations ; seeing another person do ^ a thing he thought it was the thing to a, do, and there must bo fun in it. He never wanted to be counted out on any- e. thing. In a very similar way he did much good. So did the Bank of Cali- ^ fornin. It encouraged many praise- w worthy enterprises, developed valuable ^ industries, lent* its shoulder frequently q to public improvements, where a bank a] conducted ou prudent principles would ^ not have lent a finger. On one occa- .)( sion it even lent money to mo?is there ], need to Bay more ? Then agniu tho w Bauk of California gave aid to some u, schemes most outrageously corrupt. But ^ nature in her own way turns most ?mal- _ feasances to good. I do not know, how- m ever, that in such cases a credit mark n goes down in the book to the account of C( individual ?r institution, unless good 0 was intended. John Paui.. *= = = P Some Hard Words. *' n Milliners and dressmakers, says an ex- tl change, have sent more husbands and ni wives to the divorce courts than all h other human beings combined. They o are the great sowers of domestic uiihap- c piuess. As a class, they are unworthy 1< of tho least respect, for they seldom at- n tempt to do busin&ss on honest princi- h pies. Perhaps none of their customers fl know or care whether, in dealing with w them, they get the full value of their ai money or not; and, relying upon this ? state of things, the bonnet seller and dressmaker almost invariably become li cheats. They go or send over to Paris a* and get one or two bonnets as patterns ir (which they contrive to smuggle through u the custom-house), and then they get ? them imitated at a very cheap rate. -All v these bonnets they sell to eager custom- n ers as the "real, imported article," and sc of course no one is content now with o anything of home make. In the matter fr of dress, it is much the same. The ma- ii tcrial itself, even though it be of the o: finest silk to be bonglrt, costs little in cuuijiiuinuii witu Liit* uni iur trimmings. " That will generally range anywhere from $40 to $150, and no donbt many of our fan- readers could show us ^ bills for much larger sums than eitherof ^ these. That wonderful "tie back" ur- ^ raug. incut, which is now thought to bo j( so becoming to ladies, cannot be the cause of these enormous charges for {( "trimming," for people had to pay ^ them before they began to " tie back." The truth is, that whatever may chance to be the fashion, the dressmaker soon makes it the vehicle of extortion?not to iise the ugly word robbery. We hear of failures in every trade but hers. She j. comes here almost a beggar, and after a ^ few years slie drives a showy carriage, | says a New York paper, and flings the i dust of Fifth aveuue iu the face of the ! *( people whom sli? has lamely helped to I ruin* - n, Chicago's drain Elevators. Chicago is the biggest grain mart in ti the world, and handles about 90,000,000 tl bushels annually. How this vast amount tl is received, stored, and shipped, is the ti subject of an interesting article in the li Chicago Times. The first steam olevator tl was established in the spring of 1848, cl with a capacity of 100,000 bushels. To- e: day Chicago has eighteen steam eleva- u tors, with a combined capacity of 15,- ni 350,000 bushels, or more than the h product of 1,000,000 acres of tho fertile rr wheat producing lands of tho continent, tl Their capacity varies all the way from tl 200,000 bushels to 1,500,000. The entire tl cost of tho eighteen elevators now in ai rmoruiinn uma olumf HAH AAA nvnln <1 V^/V4MV?\/i? nw IWUVItV WV) V'AVlli ~ U sive of the grounds on which t hey stand* v Add for this ?1,000,000, and the result si shows 80,000,000 invested in this indus- I try. Two Arms handle more than one- 1< half the grain that passes through Chicago. Thoy control eight of the eighteen elevators, and last year they together dolivored over sixteen million bushels of wheat, seventeen million w bushels of corn, four million bushels of ft oats, and over two million bushels of rye ft and barley. C ! * ft During tho prevalence of the recent ji flood on the Wabash river in Indiana, a two young men were carried away by the water, and were saved from drowning only by climbing up on the limbs of t an overturned tree which had stuck in a narrow elmyuel. Here they clung for v a day and a half. When they were taken I off, they passed the following night at i a house whore twenty-four families were quartered, j Women as Voters. A gentleman from Cheyenne, Wyo ling Territory, who lias devoted somi me to gathering the details, gives in le following interesting facts on tin ractical workings of woman suffrage ii 10 Territory : The most interesting facts are in re ml to ladies us jnrors. Good and evi e strangoly mingled in the new Terri >ries, and Wyoming contains a larg< roportion of intelligent and eminenth sligious and good women ; it wa; oped, therefore, thnt great good woult 'suit from placing tlieu^ 011 juries, fter a few trials, however, the systen lis quietly abandoned, aud has neve: ecu revived. The reasons for this ar< lany. First is the fact that so fev omen are eligible. The following asses are, from the necessity of th< ise, exempt : A11 nursing mothers ; al oproaching a condition of maternity 11 the delicate, nervous, or hysterical 1 who from temporary physical condi 011 are not fit for sitting on a long trial ,1 of notoriously bad character, and al ho are exempt from the same cause iat men would be. These classes iu ?.i? *1,.. u\?v iiiUCbV. unin \/i tuu *T UU1C OCA /hen to those aro added those who hav ck or very young children, who nee< equent care, it seems that all Wyomini as no more than a hundred women, a ay time, fit for jury duty. The system lerefore, was given up, uot as a failuri sactly, but as utterly impracticable. Another difficulty presented itself /hen a jury, consisting of men am omen, (five of the hatter,) was long de lined and locked up for several hours io resulting inconvenience was so great ad tbo expense so much increased, tha otli sexes wero heartily sick of the ex eriment. The general result is said t< o that both the friends and foes o omau suffrage are disappointed, a either the good nor the evil predictei as come to pass. One good is claiinei -that there is better order at the polli lan formerly. If any othor benefit ha jsulted, it is not apparent yet. Som amplain that the cost of running fo ffice has vastly increased, as the candi ates have to bring out their lady sup orters in carriage ; but the ladies, ii leir convention a few weeks since unaui lously resolved against it, declarini lemselves 4' as able to walk to the poll b to church or market." A few fight ave resulted Horn challenging the vote f ladies. The first lady whose vote wn hallenged at Laramie dropped her bn >t and indulged in a good cry, where pon her escort sailed in and made i ot for her challenger. After a fe\ guts on tins suoject cnauengmg ladie as, by common consent, discontinued ud in that particular at least they liav u advantage of the men. As to the effect of suffrage on tli idies there are almost as many opinion 3 there are people in Wyoming. Tli lajority, however, declare tlicmselve nable to see any change. As far a m be known the ladies divide thei ate between parties much as men do ither more, perhaps, voting for pei >nal friends. To sum up, the opinio f the best informed is that woman suJ ago in Wyoming has resulted in mal; lg everything just as it was bofori illy a little more so. Itriilnl Keepers. There seems to lie very little dout lat the unfortunate man C'onolly, wli ied at the New York penitentiary, wa ) all intents and purposes mnrdere y his keepers. His legs and the lowe art of his body Were covered with livi raises, and one of his great toe-nail as torn off. It is plain that injuries c lis kind could not havo been caused b succession of accidental falls, as pr< nded by the deputy warden. Keep* 'ill Km ili>nlnrpu flint f'mmllfT ...... ?..r. mil cted to the most brutal treatment b eepers Geary, Reese and others, an 'stities specifically to a number of oui lges committed upon the nnfortunnt risoner, which are revqltiug to ever mse of humanity. The fact that th ictim was half-witted, if not positivel 11 idiot, deprives his murderers of tli ist semblance of an excuse for thei rutality. The commissioners of char es and correction must investigat lis case thoroughly, and take care thi le guilty are punished. It is not th rst case of the kind which has occurrec leepers of an inferior class think tht 10 only way to keep the outlaws in thei liarge under subjection is to make a sample of somo feeble prisoner who i nable to defend himself. By beatin ad overworking a man of this kind the ojie to intimidate more unruly and ut tanageable prisoners. This proces icy call "{making a market of a man. leir theory ib, of course, founded o 10 grossest ignorance of human natur ad a naturally brutal disposition. If iscriminate tyranny incites men to r* olt, and if e\er a general upriHiu liould occur among the BlockwolT slaiul eonvicts, wc shall not have far. t >ok for the cause. Would Certainly be Called. It was the same old lady who was see ralking up and down the street in Vicki urg while the boat was taking o roight. She was ticketed for No )rleans, and the first night aboard th oat she opened her stateroom dor ust l>efore retiring, stuck her nose 01 nd yelled : "Capting!" capting!" " What's wanted, madam.'** inquire hat official as he approached the door. "I'm a lone woman, capting, as yo rell know," she squeaked, "and if th oat blows up I depend on you to oa ae !" He agreed, and she slept soundly an teaoefnlly. A Wealthy Tramp. A Kansas City paper says that as Mr. s Anthony Matheny -was' coming in from d i his work on the Midland road, he over3 took an old iryui near the four-mile 0i 1 bridge, in the Kaw bottoms. He appeared trt be staggering along under the . - influence of liquor, and, from his ragged 1 and dirty oondition, Matheney at once - came to the conclusion that the old fel- . 3 low was a tramping pauper coming into 11 7 Kansas City for relief. He passed by K a him without speaking, and thought no I more about it. Next day, when he g started back to his work, he was some- la l what surprised to find the old man lying no r upon the side ot the railroad track, in a a helpless and apparently dying coudi- tl v. tiou. He approached lum, ami on in-, ^ j quiry found that he was quite sick, and Bt 3 had been lying out in the open air all 1 night, and was unable to walk. He gave e] ; liis name as Angus McGregor, and that Q, ; he was on his way from Fort Dodge to ^ - Kansas City. Mr. Matheney came in ; and procured the assistance of an ex1 press driver, and brought the old man s to his house near the water works, and - .left him with his wife. He maintained " . a stolid silence until night, but ate a e hearty meal, thus showing that it was a tl J want of food rather than sickness which f< ? hod caused him to fall by the wayside. t< t But he was too far gone for food to re, vive liim at once, and when night came ^ B on ho was dangerously ill, so ill that ^ medical aid was deemed necessary. n . When ho was offered a bed he declined u 1 it, and positively refused to take off or ^ i- allow his dirty rags to be taken off his . i, body. b , He slept upon a blanket on the floor, t and under no persuasion would he take " oil' his boots. The old man being un- ?' 0 able to help himself, however, gave up f and ordered his boots taken off. To the n: s surprise of every one present, he took cl 1 from his boots between two and three t* 1 thousand dollars in greenbacks, nioely tl s wrapped up in oil paper, and used as s pads for his sore aud blistered feet. h e In explanation, the old man said he it r had been a soldier in the United States at army for the last twenty years; had s< i- served in Texas, New Mexico, Arizona a and Colorado. He had recently been i- discharged from McKenzie's regiment, jj g in Arizona, and started from Fort ^ s Dodge, Kan., about two weeks ago, to ^ s walk to Kansas City. He says he is s going home to Glasgow, Scotland, aud s that he has been afraid of being robbed \ I- on his way home. He is close and pe- I' i- nurious, and says he could not afford to ' it pay so much for railroad faros. Ho was, d v after great difficulty, persuaded to de- v h 'posit his long-hoarded wealth, and take I, drafts on New York for the amount do- d e posited. He is very suspicious, and un- a usually reticent about his own affairs. ?' e He paid Matheney liberally for the care s s bestowed upon him, and proposes to d e continue his journey east as soon as his s health will permit lnm to move. w i Italian Brigandage. ? v r- The Court of Assizes at Viterbo, ii> } n Italy, has lately had to deal with a case t- of brigandage of more than ordinary ce- f lebrity. It involve<l the murder of a v S country gentleman, the father of Signor Q Faina, a well-known deputy, who was ^ I uapiureu oy me nana laieiy mcu wnen driving near Orvieto in the spring of 1874, and carried off to the mountains. Signor Faina recoived a letter soon 8 0 afterward informing him tliat his fath- 1] lH er's ransom was fixed at ?4,000, and that * (] the money must lie delivered at a cer- P ,r tain spot l?y a fixed date. It was sent, 8 J but by mistake to the wrong place , and [s the brigands, liaving observed a party of ^ ,f gendarmes moving in the vicinity, g y thought a trap was being laid for them, p ?_ and ordered the youngest of the band tl >r at once to blow out the brains of their ^ prisoner, who was a man of seventy p y years of age, nud could not be forced off ,1 in the hurried retreat they designed, t. They gave out publicly, that the murder jj a, was designed as a special example of v their justice ; and this boast, following R *e snob an act, caused so effective a pursuit y to be undertaken by the authorities that ^ e the gang was at last, after many escapes, [r fairly hunted down. The actual murj_ dorer has got off with imprisonment for j1 lif#? nil t.lin rrrnmwl nf liiu nrfrnmo vnnfli * and his having actcil under compulsion. 0 But the leader, who was formerly in the * 1 Papal gendarmerie, was condemned to l?e executed. On hearing his sentence 2 [r ho sprang over the dock, precipitating n himself liko a tiger on the accomplice f [? who had turned approver. But tho po- ? g lice mastered and manacled him, and it ' y is now devoutly hoped that he in his c x. turn will bo made an exnmplo of the t B prompt justioe he professed to execute ^ " on his unfortunate captive. 8 u E e r t. A Couple of Monkeys. In Paris quite a commotion was i * g created by the entrance of a very singu- | * s lar party. It consisted of two tiny cava- j * o liers mounted upon exquisite little j & puuiuH. v/iie 01 liiuho Hiiiiui nuers was v a 1 audsome boy about seven years of | age, and the other was a large monkey ? strapped to the saddle of his steed. A c n servant in livery followed on horseback ' ?- at the distance prescribed by etiquette. n n Finding that this strange cortege was d w attracting a crowd, the police interfered, 10 and the young gentleman and his com- 1 >r panion were forced to return homo. On s it inquiry being made it was found that t the boy was the only son of a Portu- f gueso eonnt, at present residing in Paris, f d s terribly spoiled child, to whom his i parents can refuse nothing. Conse- t u quently, when he took it into his head is to take his monkey, which is his special ] 11 pet and companion, out riding with him, t lie found 110 one bold enough to oppose < id his whims. That duty was reserved for 1 the police, j Items of Interest. If yon don't bridle your tongue, sodle be your ?ate. , r( A man falls, into an error when he falls at with his wife. For thin people to get suddenlr fat? ?p on a banana peel and come down Lump. The ladies of Memphis are working idustriously to form a centennial comrissiou. Somebody advertises for " machineiris." The question is in what particult a machine-girl is better than a handLaid. A new industry is being developed in le South in the raising of fruit for the iflrket. A large crop has been sold this xmmer. An editor says he cannot be independat when he is obliged to collect his cvn subscriptions in a town where evoryody keeps a dog. The reward of learmng grammar is rand in being oonsflmtly shocked by le conversation of those who have not earned to talk by rule. School vacation is almost over, and le good boy may be seen seated on the raoe rubbing resin on his hands to raghen them against the ferule. In St. Petersburg bread is three times ? dear as in Paris, and every other eatale, from butcher's meat downward, is early double as costly as it was yeare jo. Seth Oreen says that editors can never e successful fishermen. They get dis ~ri * at. himji tt taw muiuico tuiu turuw own the rod to write an abusive article a the finny tribe. " Never mind, sonny. The rain lakes boys grow," remarked a Massabusetts tramp the other day, when he K>k a silk umbrella away from a lad in ie midst of a rain storm. During the last fifteen months eight undred and eight families of MannonrO immigrants, numbering four thoumd eight hundred and forty-four perons, have settled in Manitoba. Three months ago the Montana papers rould have stated that a horse-dealer ad been invited to a hempen-necktie ociable; now they say that the citizens ave put a pull-back cravet on him. A subscriber writes to an editor in the Vest: "Idon't want your paper any ouger." To which the editor replies: ' I wouldn't make it any longer if yon [id ; its present length suits me very rell." "Did my moustache trouble yon, ear?" said Noggs to his sweetheart, fter giving her a hearty osculation. ' No, sweet; considering the size and trength of that moustache, I felt rather own in the mouth." The technical name of "hanks," aplied to skeins of worsted yarn or other bread, it is supposed was derived from ne Hankemus de Brabant, "a Flemish reaver, dyer, or fuller, who settled in rork, England, in 1731. A Partingtonian juryman, in Vermont, ecently informed has fellow-jurymen, rith great gravity, that " no external lagnitism being visible, he would vote i the defensive." No attempt was lade to change his decision. "My son," said a stem father to a even-year-old hopeful, I must disciiline yon. Your teacher says you are be worst boy in the school." " Well, apa," was the reply, "only yesterday lie toyl me I was just like my father. Aii Artificial sponting bath of sulphur rater of the same temperature as the prings of Bollicame, at Viterbo, was repared in the Vatican for the use of lie Pope, who had the rheumatism, bat rho recovered before the bath was eady. " Figures will lie," said a young larried friend to onr reporter this morntig, " and don't you bet on the figure of woman until you know by actual obervation just what you have to sustain our judgment. Yes, sir, I know that Igures will lie." Yesterday, when a woman fell down tear the city hall, a man, leaning against lie fence, waved his hand and remarked : ' Zhere's where zhay have 'vantage. Fi all down folks zhay I'm zhrank. Women all down on' folks zhay she oughter sue he city for ten thousand zollars." A recent advertisement oontains the ollowing startling information : if tlio gentleman who keeps the shoe store rith a red head will return the umbrella ?f a young lady with the ivory handle to he slate roofed grooer's shop, he will tear something to his advantage, as the ame is the gift of a deceased mother tow no more, with the name engraved tpon it. Three months ago a discharged condacor was killed by an express messenger, rhile the former was tryingtorob his oar. locently, $4,000 was paid by the conduoors' mutual benefit association to the onductor's widow, her husband having een a member in good standing. Ike is an exoellent woman, in poor ircuinstanoes, and the association paid he money without raising any question -s to the way her husband met his lea tli. A lady residing in Lansingburg, N. f., hailed a passing car, with her little on, the other day, to see him safely on ho horso-car for a trio to Trov. He itepped on board and scrambled for the ront of the car. As lie was going his nother said : " Why, aren't yon goin^ o kins yonr mother before yon go f ' , rho little fellow was so delighted at the prospect of a ride and in such a hurry hat he hastily rejoined, looking back excitedly : " Mr. Conductor, won't yon kiss mother for me I" Am} of course the passengers couldn't help wwfjpig,