The tribune. (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, September 15, 1875, Image 1
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THE TRIBUNE
VOL. I.?NO. 43. BEAUFORT, S. ., SEPTEMBER 13, 1875. $1.50 PER ANNUM.
They Two.
A fancier of a magazine fell in with
the following lines:
identity.
Somewhere?in desolate, wide-swept space?
Id twilight land, in no-man's laud ?
Two huirying sliapos mot face to face,
And bade each other stand.
" And who are you ?" cried one, agapo,
Shuddering in the gloaming light.
"I do not know," said the Becond shape,
" I only died last night."
After pondering them for three days
his muse began to hum in the same time,
and tlio following was found upon his
table the morning after he was sent to
a jirivate asylum:
couldn't tell.
Nowhere?ill the midnight, wiud-swopt streot,
In Muddle town, in No Hum town?
Two staggering shapes, colliding, meet,
And kuock each other down.
" Say, who are yon ?" cries one, wboD np,
Hiccoughing, with a drunken face.
" I dou't (hio) know," says t'other chap,
" I'm a stranger 'n this place."
MY AUNT'S STORY.
"Oh, AuutPam, how shall I mako
Jack a little moro dignified ? I want to
bo proud as well as fond of him. He's
too silly, too demonstrative; how can
I cure him ? Aunt Pam, advise me!"
Aunt Pamela looked at Belle irresolutely
for a moment, then beckoned to
Hannah to take the tea away.
" I'll tell you a story, Bollo," she
said, " if you'll listen to it. I'll tell you
how somebody you know came to be a
cross, queer old maid?a whimsical,
spiteful, lonely, desolate old woman."
"I dou't know any such person," cried
Belle.
" Yos, you do, child; you'll recognize
lior portrait when it's drawn. But at
your age, dear, she was, I think, passably
pretty aud attractive; in fact, you
won't believe it, but this heroine of mine
was very like you when she was in the
lievdav of vnnkh."
44 Hiul she roil liair, nnnt, like mine ?"
4 4 Yes, and the brilliant complexion
and high temper that go with it. She
was only eighteen when she became the
dofendant in a case where all the little
property she had in the world was at
stake. She was already an orphan, and
would have been a beggar hod it not
been for the wonderful zeal and ability
of her legal adviser?Mr. Reginald
Vickers. Long before the cose was decided
in her behalf she nail grown to
look forward to the nooessnry legal consultations
as the brightest moments of
her life, though not a word of love had
passed between them. In truth, Belle,
the lady of our story, whom we will call
by my own old-fashioned name of Pamela,
had a warm heart under a very cold
exterior, and although she knew how to
love well and devotedly, could not shape
her sentiment to suit the somewhat energotie
and passionate devotion of the
young barrister.
" 4 You are so cold, Pamela,' he would
say; 4 one might as well have a bit of
archaeology in the shape of one of the
mutilated Grecian goddesses for an idol.
I whisper ever so many pretty things in
your ear, and one would think they stopped
at the tympanum, for not the faint
est blush tinge* your marble cheek, and
the chiseled splendor of your profile remaws
as if carved in stone.'
" And all this time, Belle, every word
of his had been like an electric shock of
bliss to her enraptured soul, and she
scarcely knew whether she was in paradise
or upon the earth.
" When her engagement had reached
on epoch devoted to the bridal trousseau,
she became very much the property
of certain relatives and their chosen
seamstresses; there wus so much of trying
on, of comparing and choosing, that
very little time was left for Reginald, of
which ho complained most bitterly ; and
when the convention adjourned to the
country to arrange further preliminaries
for the coming happiness, Reginald declared
he would follow her very soon.
" It was weather such as this, Belle,
in the month of May ; and the very
morning of her journey the luckless
Pamela offended Reginald by repulsiig
liim in what she held an unbefitting levity
and fumiliarity. He had but twirled
her about the room two or three times,
caroling out in his gleeful way.
* " Pamela bade him somewhat haughtilv
to desist- wllinh ll? ill.l until a fwiwn
anil wont immediately out of her prosonce,
nor did alio see aim again until he
bade her a cold farewell at the window
of tlio railway car. So alio went upon
her way almost broken-hearted, and had
no joy in the vernal landscape, nor, indeed,
could ahe see Held, or poet, or flying
bits of beauty for the tears that
dimmed her sight. She took herself to
task, and vowed that, come what would,
when Reginald should meet her again,
sho would welcome him warmly, even
should ho enter tho house by way of a
somersault.
" Nevertheless, sho found herself hoping
that his lirst visit among these simple
country folk would prove to them
that he was altogether a superior being,
not fashioned after the same clay as
tliemsolves?picturing him aa she had so
often scon him when deep in legal controversy,
his high whito brow bent into
a frown, his eyes glowing with a secret
flre, words falling out of liia mouth like
molten coals upon tho heads of his adversaries
; only some honest, faithful
hearts that loved her far beyond her
dosert.
" Reginald reached tho farm one
balmy ev? ning, riding from the train in
a convenient ox-cart, his traveling suit
of gray and broad straw hat, his flowing
neck-tie and tho air of easy nonchalanco
and careless simplicity about him,
gravely vexing his betrothed. He had
not been half an hour with Pamela bofore
ho was on intimate terms with the
wholo of her uncle's family. There was
not the hint of a frown on his brow, and
no trace of legal lore or dignity of state
embarrassed his intercourse with her
simple relatives.
'1 To hear his talk as ho stood there
by the flvo-barred gate, swinging little
Elsie to and fro, one would suppose that
ho had never pleaded a case, that ho had
never quoted a poem, or delivered an
oration. Pamela's uncle drawled to him
in his provincial dialect, her aunt joined
in the conversation without even dropping
her sun-bonnet, and Cousin Ephraim,
tho bashfulest of mortals, sat down
to tea with the stranger guest. Tho
supper tho young lawyer dovourcd that
night would have honored the appetite
of a laborer in the ofT kitchen. Pamela
looked with dismay at her Olympian,
.1 ~ Z 4-1.., 4- 1 11 At
nuuviciiu^ u. bum UUUlll UU LI1U Wttjr U1U
gods dined upon ambrosia. So, wounded
and disappointed, scarce knowing
why, she sat silent and cold by his side
when they were alone together once
more. They had the whole of the grim
Earlor, with its whitewashed walls, its
ideous portraits, its horse-hair sofa and
chairs, to themselves ; but the door of
the sitting room stood ajar, and Reginald
looked longingly thenco upon the
gay rag carpet, the well-polished stove,
with its grate aflame, the warm cushioned
chair where hor aunt nodded, and
the bit of holly-crowned glass, where
Epliraim made himself smart to visit
sweet little Jessie Downes.
" 'She is the loveliest creature, Reginald,'
said Pamela, * that the sun ever
shone upon.'
" Except one,' said Reginald. ' But
I don't believe old Sol's rays otten reach
you, my Pamela.'
"The very next morning, at the country
church, ho saw Cousin Ephraim's
sweetheart. As was her wont, she nestled
in her father the deacon's pow, and
looked with rapt eyes to the good old
minister, while Reginald's eyes, once
fusteritju on her primrose face, never left
it throughout the sorvice. By some
magnetism their eyes met, and poor little
Jessie's rapt gaze left the face of the
minister to feast shyly upon the classical
allurements of the young barrister.
" Reginald walked homeward by Jessie's
side, while Epliraim and Pamela
followed after, both proud and please!
that the little maiden had found favor in
the sight of so distinguished a guest.
"Reginald prolonged his stay in the
country, declaring that he needed a
vncation, and was out in the morning betimes,
fishing in the neighboring streams
jor 8iiuu.su, auu garnering wild uowera
and ferns ; coming back at sundown
somewhat abstracted in his manner,
but sallying forth again the next day.
" Pamela declined to join these excursions,
as the sun and wind together
would have made sad havoc with her
complexion?as they would with yours,
my dear, you very well know. But
there are complexions, Belle, that the
sun takes to kindly enough, and paints
with a magical brush, the wind putting
in a crimson that was never found even
upon the palette of Sir Joshua Reynolds.
"Upon the May fostival, which was
arranged late in the month as a farewell
celebration for Pamela and her bethrothed,
the beauty of sweet Jessie
Dowups seemed to our pale patrician of
the city like something almost supernatural.
She called to Reginald time
and again to tell her if he had ever conceived
of so glowing and vivid a loveliness.
and could not take her eyes from a
head that made the sweet blossoms with
which it was crowned seem faded and
dull by comparison.
" The day grew somewhat chill toward
evening, and in the hollow of the wood,
where Pamela wandered alone, it seemed
fn Imr flinf fixO vxriixrl nrliioflittrv nno/xnrt 4-lw*
? ?? *"?
trees arose to ft kind of sob tkat was almost
human in its intensity. And as
she walked along, half anxious now to
escape from a solitude that seemed peopled
with melancholy sounds, she heard
a murmur of voices close at hand, just
beyond the little thicket that barred her
progress.
* 4 It is so hard to say good-byo, my
sweet child,' said a voice that was the
one voice in the world to Pamela. 4 You
have crept into my heart, warming and
blessing it.'
44 4 And shall I never seo you again?'
sobbed little Jessie Downes.
44 4 Nay, darling, how can I tell? Porhaps
"when this sweet madness is
cured'?
44 And then. Belle, poor Pamela hoard
no more. A blessed unconsciousness
soizcti ner, aun ior tue nrst time in iier
life alio fainted. Not the last; alius !
since thut moment of agony her nerves
have not been so strong, and upon the
recurrence of certain sounds or certain
remembrances slio loses herself for a
time. A little while ago, when you pictured
tlint soeno in tho woods, it put into
words that bit of the post; I saw again
tho mosses and ferus at my feet, the
littlo black pool of water half covered
with withered leuves, and I heard the
dull thud or discordant croak of the
frogs.
"When, upon that time long ago, I
awoke to consciousness, Reginald was
bending over me with a white strickon
face, and all tho rest wore busy with
possets and restoratives in my behalf.
' When wo wore left aloue togethor,
and I found that Reginald hopod I was
unconscious of all, I was tempted to accept
this negativo happiness hold out to
mo by* a niggardly destiny; but ho
bogged of me, with a persistency which
I interpreted yi my own way, to follow
him as quickly as possible to tho city,
whither ho was going tho following
morning.
' You may as well jomain,' I Haiti,coolly
: ' a cowardly retreat now will ava^
nothing. Seek your happiness where
you may, Reginald Vickers; it has never
been dependent upon mine. I heard
your words to Jessie *?
44 4 And if you did,' he broko in, 4 what
then ? They woro tho first fond ones I
ever said to lier, and these were wrung
from me by her sorrow for our parting.
I never meant to do you wrong, Pamela,
and was not disloyal to you in heart. I
It was a mad, foolish impulse ; forgive 1
it, I pray you. Do not let this one fault
make misery for both our lives. I will
promise never to see her again.'
" 4 And do you think,' I cried, 4 that
her agony will mend mino ?'
44 ' Nonsense, Pamela ; it is not in a
nature like hers to suffer long.'
44 4 But it is iu a nature like mino,' 1
said. 4 Nevertheless, Reginald Viekers,
your path and mine lie apart honcefortli
and forever!'
44 4 But it so, then,' his face whitening
to his lips. 4 Let your pride
bo tho cause, as it has always been. Had
you ooeu less coiu, jl nau not sinueu
against a lovo strong and perfect as its .
birth, but stinted and starved every day
that I lived. I beg of you, as you atloast
value the peace of others, to breathe no
word of this to your cousin Ephraim ;
he isa good fellow, and deserves well of
happiness. Let hiua win and wear his ;
wild blossom, as pure and sweet, so help
me Heaven ! as when first he found it.
As for me, I will trouble all of you no
more !'
" He went, and with him went the
rest of my life ; for th )ugh I am nearly
fifty years old, I only lived to tho age of
twenty. It was fortunate, at least, that
mine was the only life bereft ; for Reginald
married five years after, and Jessie
took up tho thread of her love for Ephraim
where it could bo so readily mended
that my honest cousin never knew
it was broken."
"Dear me, Aunt Pam," said Belle,
her eyes full of tears, " in all those five
years, before he married that other woman,
why didn't you make up? Why
didn't you write to him, or fall in his
way somoliow, or pretend that you wanted
to consult him as a lawyer ?"
" I was too proud, Bollo," said Aunt
Pamela, brushing tho tears from the
young eyes looking wistfully into her
own. And theu there was a clatter at
the door, and Jack came bounding up
tho stairs two at a time, leaping from
the landing into tho parlor, and taking
Aunt Pamela and Belle into one hearty
i a.: _ 1.1. t~> . _ i i _
emuracu* At \Y;I? uuuct'uuio iuui j>uue
found no fault with this lack of dignity,
nor found Jack too demonstrative.
" How jolly it is here, Axiut Pamela!"
said that ardent young lover. " Belle is
like a blamed icicle at tlio house yonder,
and I never had any yearning toward
the polar regions."
A bridal Tour.
There came one day to a little inland
town in Kentucky a youug rural couple
who had just been bound by the "silken
bonds." Their destination was the
depot, and the bridegroom was evidently
quite impatient for fear the train should
arrive before he could reach the office.
Buying one ticket, they stood on the
platform until the train had stopped.
When they entered the car the bridegroom
found his bride a seat, kissed her
most affectionately, bade her " good
bye," and going out, seatod himself on a '
box and commenced whittling most
vigorously. He watched the train out
of sight, regret depicted on his face,
when a bystander, thinking the whole
proceeding rather strange, resolved to
interview him. Approaching him carelessly,
and chewing a straw to keep up
his courage, he said :
" Been gettin' married lately ?"
Yes," said he, " me and Sallie got
?i *i.;? :?> ?
nj/iiucu luio muiillii
" Was that her you put on the train?"
"Yes," with a sigh.
" A likely lookin' gal," said our questioner.
"Anybody sick, that she had to
go away?"
" No;" but here ho grew confidential.
" You seo me and Sallie had heard that
everybody when they got married took
a bridal tour. So I told Sallio I hadn't
money enough for both of us to go, but
she shouldq't be knocked out of hern.
So I jist brought her down hero, bought
her ticket and sent her on a visit to some
of her folks, and thought I might get
some work harvestin' till she got back."
That afternoon found him busily at
woik, and when in a day or two after
Sallie came back, ho welcomed her
oordinlly and affectionately, and hand in
hand they started down the dusty road
to their new home aud duties.
SI range Accident to an Elephant.
An unfortunate and unprecedented accident
occurred at tho Zoological Gardens
in the Regent's Park, Loudon, to
one of tho elephants. Tho female African
elephnnt, being very fidgetty and restloss,
is usually tethered by a ring round
one of her fore feet to the corner of her
stall wiuie tno eiepunnt-nonso is being
cleaned out in the morning. On the day
iu question, about half-past eight a. m.y
the keepers were alarmed by this elephant
calling out suddenly, as if in great
pain, and on running to the spot found
tlint alio had actually torn off" tho top of
her trunk. It seems that she hail thrust
the end of her trunk underneath tho
ring by which her foot was confined, aud
tlion, pulling against the ring with her
foot, hurt her trunk. This caused her
to exert such forco in tho attempt to
withdraw her trunk that the end of this
organ was torn off in tho effort. For
some time after this extraordinary ovent
tho elephant was in great pain and very
uneasy. She has now begun to feed
again, and seems likely tor recover tho
use of her trunk, as the wound lias not
inflamed much, and is gradually healing
over.
The Treatment of llnbilual Drunkards.
Tlio roports -which havo appeared of
the short address of Sir Thomas Watson
on the occasion of the recent deputation
to Mr. Cross givos an imperfect idea of
his words and meaning. Short as was
his statement, as under the circnmstanoes
was useful, it was so pregnant with
meaning and will have so permanent
value that wo take au opportunity of
presenting the actual words : Sir?My
humble advocacy of this petition may be
expressed in a very few sentences. I
must preface them by saying that, although
for much the greater part of my
long professional lifo I was profoundly
incredulous of the permanent reformation
of habitual drunkards, facts have
more recently come to my knowledge
which have made mo an almost sanguine
convert to a better hope and belief.
Among habitual drunkards there are
many in whom what was begun as a vice
passes into a frightful bodily and mental
disease. The frequent use of intoxicating
liquors in excess, and especially of
alcoholic drinks, leads at length to an
In English Courts.
A recent English ease of extreme cruelty,
passing under the guise of justice,
has been much commented on in the
papers on both sides of the Atlantic.
There seemed to be something peculiarly
revolting in tlio circumstance tliat a little
girl of thirteen, who had plucked a
geranium-bud in an almshouse garden,
should be sentenced to imprisonment
for a fortnight in jail, and for four years
longer in a penal institution all too mildly
termed "reformatory." But, as a
matter of fact, severe sentonces such as
this are by no means rarely pronouuced
from the benches occupied by the " unpaid
magistracy " of England. Justice,
in the hands of the gentlemen who are
called upon to administer punishment to
petty offenders in the English rural districts,
is especially stern with those who
in any way invade the sacred rights of
" pronerty." Theft or trespass, in their
eyes, is too apt to be regarded as worse
than wife beating, or slander, than perjury
or murderous assault. Such sentences
as thnt accorded to poor little
Sarah Chandler are far from being as
uncommon as the conspicuousness of her
case would imply. The very same
clergyman who sought, in liis capacity as
a magistrate, to brand hor for life as a
"jail-bird," because sho plucked a
flower, sentenced, not lbng ago, a small
boy scarcely out of bis pinafores to
prison for a month, because he scraped
the leavings of a discarded tobacco cask,
and sold his scraps for a half-penny ;
and condemned a young servant girl to
six weeks in jail for putting some photographs,
which sho found in a waste
paper basket in the house whero she
served, into her pocket to show to some
friends. Not long ago sixteen fishermen
and women, living 011 the Northumbrian
coast, were cast into jail for a month for
picking up mussels on the shore, with
which to bait their hooks. It was an
audacious assault upon the property
rights of the squire whose estates ran to
the water's edgo ; and the clergymen
and squires who administered the law
without pay in that region could not let
the flagrant defiance of the rights of
property pass. In Essex tliree very
reputable and not disorderly lads, aged
about sixteen, sallied out for an afternoon
walk. In crossing the fields they
came to a brook ; a grassy knoll on its
banks tempted them, and they threw
themselves upon it and began to road
some books they had brought with them.
Suddenly up rode the owner of the field
on horseback, and roughly demanded
their names. Soon after they had re
bUlllUU 1IU111L' LUl'J WCiO UllLt'U ill fllllff;!)
by ft policeman, brought beforo the
magistrates, accuseil of trespass, and
heavily lined. A little girl of thirteen
was recently condemned at Dorchester
to twenty-one days' imprisonment at
"hard labor," and five years in a reformatory,
for stealing an earthen milk
pig. It turned out that the jug, which
v as cracked, had been given to the girl
without authority by a servant. The
supposed thief, too, was ascertained to
have the best character lor honesty.?
Appletrm's Journal.
A Practical Farmer.
Boating is no doubt a good thing when
judiciously indulged in, but an old gentleman
residing in Detroit, the Free
Press says, whose son was a member of
ono of the winning crews nt the Toledo
regatta, has rather conservative notions
concerning the muscular art. On Sunday
the following dialogue occurred between
the father and son :
Father?My boy, how much did you
weigh when you began to train tor this
regatta ?
Son?One hundred and sixty pounds.
Father?And you pulled at 145 pounds
didn't you ?
Son?Yes T worked down to llmf
beautifully.
Father?And how much is that badge
worth that you won down there ?
Son?Don't know exactly, but I think
I heard some of the fellers say they cost
$27 a apiece.
Father?Um ; $27. Now then, if
you'll work off the same amount of llesh
next season by sawing wood I'll give you
a badge worth just worth four times as
much as that one, and an order on my
tailor for the best suit of clothes you can
find.
The young gentleman intimated that
ho guessed he would take a little run
down to the boat house.
A Treasury Incident.
Tlio Washington Chronicle contains
the following : A rather suspicious circumstance
occurred in the printing
bureau of the Treasury department,
which resulted in the dismissal of
the principal actress. It appears that
one of the young lady employees was
passing from ono room to auother, when
four five-dollar notes fell from the folds
of her dress, to which they had accidentally
adhered, or in which they had
been concealod. Two other young
ladies engaged in the same room, who
were following almost in her footsteps,
observed the notes fall and picked them
up. The fact being reported to the
chief of the division, he. e.r?nfrrmf/?.l flie
unlucky girl and demanded an explanation
of the circumstance. She asserted
her innocence of any guilty knowledgo
of the money being about her person,
and stated that sho believed it must
have stuck to her dress as sho brushed
by the tablos on which tho notes lay
piled,prerions totlicnccidont. Although
the belief was generally entertained by
the attaches of tho bureau that the girl's
story was truthful, the rigid rules of the
nffico required her dismissal as a warning
agaiust tho recurrence of similar mishaps.
accumulation ot tno specinc poison 01 alcohol
within the system, so that the
bodily tissues, which include the brain,
becomes so impregnated, so charged
with the poison, or so affected somehow,
as to produce a degree of craving which
the unhnppy dipsomaniac?for so he is
rightly called?is utterly unable to resist
control. So imperative is this morbid
craving, that in somo instances, by his
own confession, he could not refrain
from swallowing the customary stimulus
even if he were certain that death would
be the instant result. Now, of such
persons, it is found that, if they can be
strictly debarred from all access to alcoholic
drinks, they will surely, though
slowly, recover from this form of mania ;
that the incorporated poison will be
gradually dislodged and eliminated from
the system by the silent and solo efficacy
of that bencfacent force which we medical
men acknowledge so thankfully, the
vis medicatrix naturse ; and the wretched
man or woman will become once more
able, and in no small percentage of cases
willing, and even anxious, to abandon
the vico which had been the first step toward
flio itiilnctinn nf Hm maniannl din.
ease. Now, if this be so?and from all
that I have seen and heard and read on
the subject, from experience gathered on
a large scale in America, from the teachings
of some of our own lunatic asylums,
anil from the testimony of private observers?I
am fully persuaded that it is
so ; I might even appeal on this poiuv to
some members of the deputation now
present?then I conceive that the sanctioning,
by some legislative measure, of
retrents anil reformatories, wherein, at
the instance of his relations or friends,
or by his own wish, or by the sentence
of a magistrate, such a sufferer could be
legally detained for a timo (which has
been estimated to be betwoen three and
twelve mouths, though, in my judgment,
three months would be far too little, and,
of course, ample provision should be
made against any possible abuse of such
detention), such legislative action, I say,
could scarcely be regarded as anything
less than a national blessing.?British
Medical Journal.
" Treasury Girls."
A correspondent of the Cincinnati
J2nr/uirer wntea irom wiisuiugton :
"Treasury girls," be it known, are not
all young ; in fact, some of them, no
doubt, have children as old as your correspondent,
while many aro yet in the
full bloom of girlhood, and more have
entered the cypress-hung portals of old
maidenhood, or have worn, or still wear,
the widow's weeds. fitill, according to
ye fcstivo correspondent, all ladies engaged
in the Treasury deportment are
"girls," even though they bo grayhaired
matrons and mothers of families.
' As I bavo said, "Treasury girls" are
not all either young or pretty, as is generally
supposed, and in looking over the
"sea of faces" I have discovered but
few who look as though their owners
consider lifo^is a great flirtation made up
of little flirtations ; on the contrary, the
majority of faces belonging to Che "Treasury
girls " bear the impress of an earnest
purpose earnestly pursued, while many
aro evidently shadowed by sorrow or
disappointment ; in fact, the ladies who
are ongaged in tho Treasury department
are only a small detachment of tho great
army of women who find themselves deEendeut
upon tlioir own resources, and
ave, as is natural, sought out the best
place they could command. Tho averago
"Treasury girl" does not go to work
ill silk and lace, according to tho popular
idea, but, on tho coutrary, wears a loose
sack and overdress of some light wash
goods over a worsted skirt, and, by way
of taking all romance out of the matter,
carries a little lunch dono up in a paper
or pinned up in a red napkin. Neither
do all "Treasury girls" preserve the
lines of beauty in form or face ; on the
contrary, there aro thin, angular, and
perpendicular women among them, and
there aro somo who aro burdened with
flesh ; most certainly there aro many
who evidently did not win thoir positions
by means of personal beauty.
Wanted to Maury.?Tlio following
advertisement appcarod in the Jrish
Times of July 2: " Matrimony.?A
mother, suffering from a mortal disease
and longing to seo her two daughters
suitably married before she leaves this
world, wishes to meet two gentlemen,
respectable parentago ; minimum income
?100 ; ago under forty. Girls nro good
humored, trained liousekeopers, very
handsome (advertiser can guarantee
this), ages twonty-two and nineteen, eldest
very sensible, youngest a little
llighty, fortunes ?000 each. Enclose
carte, etc. Address Y., 72, oflleo of this
paper."
Items of Interest.
The census of Wisconsin shows a
population of 1,207,821, being an increase
of 183,251 since 1870.
Precise old party?"Conductor, do,
pray, get on. I've an appointment"?
" All right, sir ! Now look alive, Bill;
here's a hold gent wants to meet his
young 'ooman." ?
An electric magnet weighing 1,800
pounds was lately shipped to West
Point, N. Y., by Wallace & Sons, of Ansonia,
Ct. The magnet has a sustaining
capacity of sixty tons.
They don't ask a woman in Wisoonsin
to teach school for any paltry $2 per
week. They offer her $1.25, and if she
refuses they nail the door up and hang
up a sign of " noa skule hear."
A young American girl in Paris lately
stopped with her friends in a crowd to
observe a carriage accident; she had
very long hair hanging down over her
Bhoulders which some thief completely
oat away.
A young man, searching for liis
father's pig, acoosted an Irishman as follows
: "Have you seen a stray pig
about here ?" To which Pat responded:
" Faix, and how could I tell a stray pig
from any other ?"
A Scotch preacher, who not long ago
had entered into the happy state of
matrimony with a maiden named Grace,
rather surprised his hearers on the ensuing
Sabbath by giving out as his text :
" Unto me is thin Grace given."
An old man living at Guelph, G. W.,
was discovered the other day by his
neighbors chained to the floor in a stable.
His son had pinioned him thus because
they could not agree on some question
affecting domestic management.
A very neat bit of satire is embodied
in this clipping from the Danbury News :
A milk pitcher, thrown by his wife at a
Nelson street man, missed the aim and
ruined a handsome frame which inclosed
the words : "God bless our home."
The whole number of oonvicts in the
Georgia state penitentiary is said to be
eight hundred, only one-tenth of whom
are white persons. Many young negroes
are constantly sent there, ranging all the
way from ten to fourteen or fifteen years
old.
A rustic youngster being asked out to
take tea with a friend, was admonished
to praise the eatables. Presently the
butter was passed to him, when he remarked:
"Very nice butter?what
there is of itand observing a smile, he
added, "and plenty of it?such as it is."
During a dense fog a Mississippi
steamboat took a landing. A traveler
anxious to go ahead, came to the unperturbed
manager of the wheel and asked
why they stopped. "Too much fog;
can't see the river." " But you can see
the stars overhead." " Yes," replied the
urbane pilot; " but until the biler busts
we ain't goin' that way." The passenger
went to bed. Jfe
A small image of a human head carved
in stone, which was dug up in a farm in
a. ir*_?
V* uuMwjr bowumup, aiicuigan, Home years
ago, was exhibited at the Detroit meeting
of the American Association. It appears
to be made of Potsdam red sandstone,
which does not exist in nature in
that part of the oountry. The features
of the face are of an Egyptian oast.
A new prophet has arisen in Europe.
He is a photographer. By means of his
camera he made visible an attack of
smallpox twenty-four hours before it
came out. Although no one oould as
yet observe anything on the skin of the
patient the negative plate showed stains
on the face which perfectly resembled
the various exanthem, and twenty-four
hours later the eruption became clearly
evident.
In Providenoe, R. L, a fellow called
at the house of a man who was out of
town, and told his wife that the captain
of a vessel in port?a particular mend
of her husband's?had five gallons of
rare wine on board for him, and wanted
some demijohns to put it in. His story
was so piausiDie mat sue went to me store
and purchased the articles for him. He
disappeared with four demijohns, and
has not been seen by her since.
Mr. Jacob Keller, of Pittsburgh, Pa.,
while dredging the Mcnongahela river,
has token ont of the mud several pieces
of a skeleton which arc thought by looal
scholars to belong to a mammoth. A
tooth weighing ten pounds is the specimen
which attracts more attention than
any other. Mr. Franklin Piatt, the assistant
geologist of Pennsylvania, is desirous
of unearthing the whole skeleton,
and will probably interest himself in tho
work.
Cur Ions Story.
Massachusetts papers are printing the
following story: John Manning, a young
man of North AdamB, went to work in
some print works in New York about six
weeks ago, and did the work of two men
who had been discharged. After he had
been in his new situation a week, he was *
invited by these men to go with them on
an excursion. The next day his employers
missed him, and his continued ab
senco iea tnem to uunx mat nomeuusg
was wrong. A search was made, which
resulted in finding him in a piece of
woods not far from the city, raving mad
and almost dead from exposure. Word
wan sent to bin father, and ho was taken
home in a sad condition, it requiring
four men at times to prevent him harming
himself or others, and he had to be
sent to the Northampton asylum. The
physicians having charge of the case
pronounce it a bad one. The insanity ia
supposed to havo boeu the result of
Homo drug given him maliciously by the
men with whom ho was last seen. When
found ho had been robbed of his watch
and bo 1110 money.