The tribune. (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, March 03, 1875, Image 1
THE TRIBUNE.
VOL. I.?NO. 15. BEAUFORT. S. MARCH 3. 1875. ?2.00 PER ANNUM.
A Discontented Poet.
Man's a fool !
Wben it's hot ho wants it cool;
When it's oolil ho wants it hotNe'er
contented with lxis lot
When it's dry
Ho for showers is hoard to sigh ;
\\ hoo?to meet his wish?it rains,
Of tho wet the fool complains.
I lot or cold, dry or wot,
Nothing suits that he can get;
I consider, as a rulo,
Man's a fool.
THE OCEAN DEPTHS.
I am a diver?a diver from choice?
and I am proud of my profession. Where
is euich courago required as is needed
here ? It is nothing to be a soldier ; a
diver, however?but I forbear. I will
tell my story, and leave others to judge
concerning it.
An appalling shipwreck occurred, not
long ago, upon the wildest part of the
coast of Newfoundland. The tidiugs of
this calamity reached the ears of thousands
; but, amid the crowd of accidents
which followed in quick succession, it
was soon forgotten. Not by us, however.
Wo found that the vessel had
sunk upon a spot where the water's
depth was by no means great and tlipt a
daring man might easily roach her.
She was a steamer called the Marmiou,
and had been seen going suddenly down,
without an instant's warning, by some
lislicrmon near by. She had, undoubtedly,
struck a hidden rock, and had thus
been, in one moment, destroyed.
I spoke to my associates of the plan,
and they approved it. No time was lost
in making the necessary preparations,
and a short time beheld us embarked hi
our small schooner for the sunken
ship. There were six of us, and we autihipated
extraordinary success.
So deep was the water that no vestige
of a ship's mast remained above the surface,
to point out the renting place of
the Marmiou. Wo were compelled,
therefore, to select the scene of operations
according to the best of our ability.
woiis iue sans 01 our schooner,
and Rimnier and I put on our diving
armor. Wo fixed on our helmets tightlv,
and screwed on the hose. One by
one aeli clumsy article was adjusted,
weights were liung, and u wore
*. gks terrible blackish, Berton,"
UiTon.er to me.
Ob," J replied, gayly, " it's only a
little m? it? ah right!"
Ah!" He uttered a low exclamation,
which sounded hollow from his
cavernous helmet.
" All ready," I cried, in a loud voice,
which they, however, could not easily
distinguish. Then, making a proper
sign, I was swung over the side.
Down we went, I first, and Rimmer
close behind 1110. It did not take a long
time for us to reach the bottom. We
found ourselves upon what seemed a
broad plain, sloping downward, toward
the south, and risiug slightly toward the
north. Looking forward then, a dim,
black object arose, which our experienced
eyes knew to be a lofty rock.
As yet, we could not be certain that
this was the place whore the Marmion
had struck. But soon a round, blaek
object became discernible, as we ghuiced
at the rocky base.
Rimmer struck my arm, and pointed.
I signed ascent, and we moved onward
more quickly.
A few moments elapsed; wo had come
nearer te the rock. The black object
now looked like tho stern of a vessel
whose hull lay there.
Suddenly Hi turner struck mo again,
and pointed upward. Following the
direction of liis hand, I looked up, and
saw tlio upper surface of the water all
foamy and in motion. There was a
momentary thrill through luy heart, but
it passed over. Wo wore in a dangerous
situation. A storm was coming on !
But should we turn back now, when
we were so near the object of our search ?
Already it lay before us. Wo were close
beside it. No, I would not. I signalized
to Rimmor to go forward, and wo still
kept our course.
Now the rook rose up before us, black,
rugged, dismal. Its rough sides were
worn by the action of the water, and
some places wore covered by marine
plants and namo'ess ocean vegetution.
We passed onward, wo clambered over a
spur, which jutted from the cliff, and
there lay the steamer.
The Marmion?there she lay upright,
with everything still standing. She had
gone right down, and had settled in such
a position, among the rocks, that she
stoed upright here, just as though she
lay at her wharf. Wo rushed eagerly
along and clambered up her Bides.
There was a low moan in the water,
which Bounded warniugly iu our ears,
aud told iis of a Hwift-approaching danger.
What was to bo done must be done
speedily. Wo hurried forward. Rimmor
rushed to the cabin. I went forward
to descend into the hold. I descended
the ladder. \ walked into the
engineer's room. All was empty hero,
all was water. The waves of the ocean
had entered, and wero 3portiug with the
works of man. I went into the freightroom.
Suddenly I was startled by ail
appalling noiso upon the deck. The
heavy footsteps of some ono, running, a.'
though in mortal fear, or most dreadful
haste, sounded in my eaifo. Then mj
heart throbbed wildly; for it was a fear
ful thing to hear, far down in the silenl
depths of tho ocean.
Pshaw ! it's only Rimmor.
I hurriedly ascended tho dock by the
first outlet that appeared. When 1
speak of hurry, I sp. ak of tho quickesi
movement possible, when encumbered
with so much armor. But this move
mpnt of miuo was quick; I rusliod up- <
ward; I sprang out upon the deck.
It was ltimmer 1
He stepped forward and clutched my
arm. Ho pressed it with a convulsive \
grasp, and pointed to the cabin. i
I attempted to go there. <
He stamped his foot, and tried to i
hold me back. He pointed to the boat, 1
and implored mo, with frantic gestures,
to go up.
It is appalling to witness the horrorstruck
soul trying to express itself by
signs. It is awful to see those sigus
when no face is plainly visible, and no
voice is heard. I could not see his face
plainly, but his eyes, through his heavy
mask, glowed like c<^ls of tire.
"I will go!" I exclaimed. I sprang
from him. He clasped his hands to- i
gether, but dared not follow.
Good heaven ! I thought, what fearful
thing is here? What scene can beso
dreadful as to paralyze the soul of a
practiced diver. I will see for myself.
I walked forward. I came to the cabin
door. I entered the forward saloon, but
saw nothing. A feeling of contempt
came to me. Rimmer shall not come
with me again, I thought. Yet I was
awe-9truek. l)own in the depths of tlio
sea there is only silence?oh, how sol- 1
emu ! I paced the long saloon, which
had echoed with the shrieks of the
drowuing passengers. Ah ! there sure
thoughts which sometimes fill the soul,
which are only felt by tlioso to whom
sceues of sublimity are familiar. Thus
thiuking, I walked to the after-cabin and
entered.
Had not my hand clenched the door
with a grasp which mortal terror had
made convulsive, 1 should have fallen to
the door. I stood nailed to the spot. 1
For there before mo stood a crowd of
people?men and women?caught in the
lust death struggle by the overwhelming 1
waters, and fastened to the spot, each in
the position in which death had found
him. Each one had sprung from Lii '
chair at the shock of the sinking ship, 1
aud, with one common emotion, all had
started for the door. But the waters of 1
the sea had been too swift for them. Lo!
then?some wildly grasping the table, 1
others the beams, others tho sides of the
cabin?there they all stood. Near the I
door was a crowd of people, heaped upon
one another?some on the floor, others ;
rushing over them?all seeking, madly,
to gain tho outlet. There was one who
so light to clamber over the table, aud
still was there, holding on to au iron
post. So strong was each convulsive
grasp, so fierce the struggle of each with
death, that their hold had not yet been
relaxed; but each one stood and lookod :
frantically to the door.
To tho door?good heaven ! To me,
to me they were looking ! They were
glancing at me, all those dreadful, those
terrible eyes ! Eyes in which tho fire of
Kf. 1--.1 l -!- 1 1 1 11 1
niu nun ucuu mspiiweu ny uie cmuing
gleam of death. Eyes whieli still glared,
like the eyes of the maniac, with 110 expression.
They froze me with their cold
and icy stare. They had no meaning;
for the soul had gone. And this made 1
it still more horrible than it could have ,
been in life; for the appalling contortion
of their faces, expressing fear, horror,
despair, and whatever else the human
soul may feel, contrasting with the cold
and glassy eyes, made their vacancy yet
more fearful. Ho upon the table seemed
more fiendish than tlio others, for his i
long black hair was disheveled, and
floated horribly down?and his beard
and mustache, all loosened by the water,
gave him the grimness of a demon.
Oh, what woo and torture ! what unutterable
agonies uppeared in the despairing
glance of those faces?faces twisted
into spasmodic contortions, wliilo the
souls that lighted them wero writhing
and struggling for life.
I heeded not tho dangerous sea which,
even when we touched tho steamer, hud
slightly rollod. Down in these awful
; depths the swell would not be. very strong
unless it should increase with ten-fold
fury above. But it had been increasing,
though I had not noticed it, and the motion
of the water began to be felt in the
abysses. Suddenly the steamer was
shaken and rocked by tho swell.
At this the hideous forms were shaken
and fell. The heaps of people rolled
asunder. That demon on the table
seemed to make u spring directly toward
me. I tied, shrieking?all were after
mo, I thought. I rushed out, with no
purpose but to escape. I sought to
, throw off my weights and rise.
My weights could not be loosened?I
pulled at them with frantic exertions,
but could not loosen them. The iron
fastenings had grown stiff. One of thorn
I wrested off in my convulsive efforts,
i but the other still kept mo down. The
i tube, also, was lying down still in my
passage-way through the machine rooms.
I did not know thisuntil I had exhausted
my strength, and almost my hope, in
vain efforts to loosen the weight, and
still the horror of that scene in the cabin
i rested upon mo.
Where was ltimmer? Tho thought
flashed across me. He was not hero.
He had returned. Two weights lay
near, which seemed thrown off in terrible
baste. Yes, ltimmer had gono. I
I InnlfAil lin' latr 4-l*rv 1 .Ortl ?
VIII AW A4.J VI1W I/WUV,
and rolling among the waves.
I rushed down into the macliine-room,
i to go back, ho as to loosen my tube. I
t had gone through passages carelessly,
i aud this lay there, for it was unrolled
I from above as I wont on. I went back
' in liasto to oxtpcate myself; I eonld stay
hero no longer; lor if all the gold of Go
; condu was in the vessel, I would not stay
in company with the dreadful dead !
Buck?fear lent wings to my feet. I
i hurried down the stairs, into the lowerhold
once more, and rctracod my steps
; through tlio passages below. I walked
1 back to the ploco into which I had lirst
descended. It was dark; a new feeling
)i horror shot through me; I looked up.
I'lie aperture was closed !
Heaveu! was it closed by mortal hand ?
Had llimmer, in his panic flight bliudly A
thrown down the trap-door, which I now
remembered to have seen open when I
descended? or had some fearful being
from the cabin?that demon who sprung ?
toward mo ?? ,'
1 started back in terror. .
But I could not wait here; I must go ; 11
I must escape from the den of horrors.
I sprang up the ladder, and tried to raise 1
the door. It resisted my efforts; I put a
my halmeted head against it, and tried ?
to raise it; the rung of the ladder broke
beneath me, but the door was not raised; *
my tube came down through it and kept 0
it partly open, for it was a strong tube 11
and kept strongly expanded by close- J.
wound wire. *
I seized a bar of iron, and tried to pry 1
it up; I raised it slightly, but there was j V
uu way u> pet n up mrtiier. i looked *
nrouiul, nnd found some blocks; with J
these 1 raised the heavy door, little by *
little, placing a block in, to keep what I 8
had gained. But the work was slow, a
and laborious, and I had worked a long 1
while before I had it raised four inches. r
The sea rolled more and more. The t
submerged vessel felt its power, nnd 1
rocked. Suddenly it wheeled over, and
lay upon its side. '
I ran around to get on the deck above, ^
to try and lift up the door. But when I *
came to the other outlet, I knew it was 1
impossible; for the tube would not per- v
mit me to go so far, and then I would 11
rather have died u thousand deaths than l!
have ventured again so near the cabin. t
I returned to the fallen door; I sat *
down in despair and waited for death. I c
saw no hope of escape. This, then, was 8
to be mv end.
But the stenmer gave a sudden lurch 1
again acted upon by the power of the 8
waves, She had been balanced upon a | ^
rock, in such a way that a alight action 1
of the water was sufficient to tip her 1
over. t
She creaked, and groaned, nnd labored,
and then turned upon her sid*.
I rose; I clung to the ladder; I pressed t
the trap-door open, while the steamer 8
lay with her deck perpendicular to the f
ground. I sprung out, and touched the f
bottom of the sea. It was in good time: i
for a moment ufter, the mass went over 8
back again. 8
Then, with a hist effort, I twisted the 8
iron fastening of the weight which kept 1
me down; I jerked it. It was loosed, f
it broke, it fell. In a moment I began 1
to ascend, and in a few minutes I was t
Hontiner on the water?for tli? uir wbieli f l
is pressed down for the diver's conBump- J
tioii consitutes a buoyant mass, which i
raises him up from the sea. a
Tliauks to heaven ! There was the <Btrong
boat, with my bold, bravo men ! t
They felt me raising; they saw me, and 1
came and saved me. I
Rimmer had tl"d from the horrid t
Bcene when I entered the cabin, but re- t
maiued in tlio boat to lend his aid. lie s
never went down again, but became a c
sea captain. As for me, I still go down, t
but only to vessels whose crews have t
been saveil. a
a
o
(jetting Heady in Time. 11
Tlio New Zealand Herald has a vory i ?
painful story, told in illustration of the
great present dearth of respectable dress- a
making hands in that colony. It seems
that a well-to-do settler near Auckland j1
was lately attacked l?y an illness which ,
his medical attendant declared must ter- ,
minate fatally, so severe were the syinp- .
toms. After lying in an apparently hope- 1
lo?s state for some days, lie suddenly 11
took a turn for the better, and, thanks to v
a strong constitution, made a rapid re- "
eovery Not long after ho lind returned ,
to business ho was much startled, on j ,
opening an account presented at his .
office, to find llimanlf ehurfroil wifli n !
full set of widow's weeds of elaborately
complete description. A domestic ex- :
plu nation naturally followed, and his !
wife reminded hint that lie had always !
made it a special desire that the fact of '
their having immigrated to a colony ,
should not prevent her dressing as a J
lady, " And the dressmakers here, you "
know," she added, "have matters so en- J
tirely in their own hands that they generally
keep you waiting for months for
anything now. 80 when 1 was told that ,
you could not possibly recover,'I ordered
what I knew you would wish me to wear '
beforehand ; and now the things have f"
only just come home." The bill was H
promptly settled. Whether the husband 0
was consoled for the outlay by the !
thought that his provident wife had the 1
things ready by her is a question that is p
left open to conjecture.
The Potato Disease. [.
Announcement has already been made 11
of the selection of Prof. Do Bury, of p
Strasburg, by the lloyul Agricultural v
Society of England to make a series of a
investigations into the life history of the <1
potato fungus, ior the purpose of filling
up a certain blank in our knowledge of
the develonmont of this destructive <ib
ject. This gentleman, in carrying out
his investigations, lias lately discovered
that tho disease is not propagated by do- v
foctive tubers, and that although tho <]
mycelium was distinctly apparent in tho f;
stalks ot plants raised directly from dis- ?|
eased tubers, yet that neither gonidia or t
germs were evolved. Ho also expressed s
the liopo that he lias at last discovered li
tho resting-places of tho oospores, or a
tho active primary germs of the fungus, t
This is the special point upon which fur- ?1
ther information is needed, and many a
suggest the proper moans of preventing t
tho continuance of tho disease in any v
given locality, by warning agriculturists c
against planting their potatoes in a spot t
where they must, at sorno time, inevit- I
ably bo dcstroyod. f
BABIES, DOGS, AND POULTRY. j
I Nc
Look nt tho Exhibition* fin tliey nro now
ill von to iin* | ^]1(
Wf live in an age of exhibition and of h'i;
easoloss competition which hardly seems j .i'ts
a have had any precedent in the past. j"?
die Greeks raced in chariots or wrestled | ('r
11 the arena, or contended in melodious | sl>
limbics; the Romans gloated over the to
loath struggles of gladiators; the cliiv- j j'"
Irons times had tlieir tourneys of sliiv- ! m<
red lances; Spain laid hull tights, Kiig- i !ir'
and her horse racos and listicull' rencoun- | iters;
but, in our day, we have betaken by
iiirsclves to the practical and the useful, ! kn
nd become virtuosi of breeds and I tin
aanufacturcs. Our medals are for the ( 'h
attest oxen, the fastest horses, and the j
leeeiest sheep; for machines which will toi
lo the day's work of fifty pairs of hands tn
n au hour; for the plumpest babies, for ; n<1
owls of the greatest ovarian fecundity, th
or rare dogs and the most charming of 1?'
ingiug birds, for the choicest of fruits j th
nd the most brilliant of flowers, or, J l'i
inally, for the best specimens of college | ve
lietoric. At Detroit the show was a I <"'?
riple miscellany of babies, dogs, and I hi
toultry. or
For our own part, says tho New York ! vi'
f'rifittnc, we must admit, though we j to
lardly know why, that there is some- ' he
liing unpleasant about the idea of a "f
>rizo baby carrying olf the laurels by el<
irtue of avoirdupois. Do not the wl
uothcralove the lean ones quite as well, th
.nd even a little better ? A poor, wee of
liing, mostly bones, and small bones at ot!
he best, wailing through tho torments
if dentition, so helpless that even nature un
eenis to have fomotten it thrmnrl? it
ronld not havo the least cliunce of a hi:
ireininm, may have a plenty of compeu- w<
nting affection in the home to which he
5od sent it to teach lessons of tender r:l'
>ity and glad self-sacrifice. Always it is lie
ipon exhibition there, and every day it tei
akes premiums of rattles and rings, is
Che next biggest child is its beast of be
mrden; and all household cares are deerred
to its own?the cooking, the l,r
weeping, and the washing. The weary oj:
ather, swearing in a suppressed and wi
[iiiet way, will carry it about all night ,U1
n his arms. Day by day it grows leaner in
.ml leaner; and should fate take it after rt>;
ill, it is ever spoken of as a cherub, has l>r
. pretty little headstone, flowers in a otl
irokun pitcher on its short grave, and do
our lines in the local newspaper. Poor hr
uite ! it would have had no chance with
he big babies of the show, but it was nc
licer every way than the little bursting
utups of adipose with faces made meanngless
by their abnormal plumpness,
uul with legs like the least appetizing
>f German sausages. Yet we are willing
o admit that a row of prize babies is .V0
lot without its charms. The parental t'i
>ride which brought these specimens to C!l
he fair is an earnest of care and good
reatment. No animal of any value is se
o much at the mercy in its infancy of C1*
aprice and convenience as man. We ! l)e
rain horses, hogs, sheep,uuid cattle, put- I,r
ing on flesh here and taking it off there, to
,iul talkiug endlessly about this strain, 1111
lid all that; it is only our own frames ns
if which we are neglectful, so that a *'x
nan or woman of perfect physical de- da
n': 11 x- : In
v Art ill! VAr.r|lblUU, It Wi'Il U) j ""
>e ft ileal moro careful in such matters, | Ka
.nil to begin with the new-born.
Considering in whoso image we are all W1
aailc, it is a little unpleasant to find ! X0
he babies exhibited with the ilogs and |
lens?the spaniels and stag-lnmnds, the | l*1
Workings and the Bantams. One child j 111
s of more value than a thousand black- |
nil-tans, though every one of them f'1
reiglieil less than ten pounds. Yet, in
pite of hydrophobia, the dog is an in ?w
westing animal, and by his lulelity, in- *1'1
'lligenco and fondness he makes up for oa
lis fleas and his nocturnal howls, and ?j.
cads us to forgive his passionate appe- a"
ite for mutton. He divides our allee- *a
ion with the eat or the canary bird, and
; often invested by our fond fancy with
nstinctivo intelligence which would
lardly stand the test of scientific scru- A.
iny. No domestic animal, however, i co
legenerates so rapidly through neglect, l's
nil no vagabond is more of a nuisance las
han a homeless dog. It is right, there- Ai
ore, that he should be an object of in- ft(1
erest and a candidate for premiums. ra
Of poultry, we do not-find that wo fa
i.ave much to say. Thesfe feathered fre- j ah
liienters of the barnyard are most in- M
r.irinrr u-n mnof odmit ?? /-I
f r>> ? ? ? '?"??? |
tivte, or considered as the prod it cor a of
ggs for the morning meal. Still, the In'
ule holds of the fittest in the host of | til
ts kind. An old lion is not usually ro- I
;arde I as a marvel of intelligence, ami Ei
i somewhat draggled old ago awaits the j he
oaster who is spared the spit. Never- | of
lieloss, in the strength of his prime, ar- j th
ayod like Solomon in all his glory, and !
inking salutation to tlio morn, he is a | St
;orgeous and impressive creature. So !
ire can imagine many duller shows than I
show of roosters, or for that matter of
logs, or even of babies. in
1?1
ui
A Homesick Tray. su
re
A " ynllor " dog has covered himself Kb
irith glory ns a traveler or pilgrim or I of
luadrupedostrian. Ho was taken last pi
all from Indiana to Kansas. Hut ho th
lidn't like Kansas, and was homesick cli
hrougli and through. Ho found moai | hi
oarce ami was averse to a iliot of grass- its
toppers. So he tramped it over miles al
.ml miles of desolate prairies; ho swam lh
ho Kansas and Missouri rivers; and one to
lay, footsore, weary, and lean, ho harked h?<
t the old door. He was six weeks upon to
ho journey; and tho first thing he did : In
ipon getting home was to eat his dinner j ?>v
nlmly, the next to drive tho pigs out of i nt
ho yard according to hisancient custom, eli
Io had learned something, but he had cl
orgotten nothing. P<
Editorial Responsibility.
in the Brooklyn trial his honor Judge i
ilson, rendered, incidentally, what toe
ins to us an eminently wise decision, j
New York ITrrald says, and we aro the
ppy to note that good law and strict ^
ctica seem for once to coincide. HLs jg j
lgment was that however tho editor
proprietor of a newspaper may be re- i
msiijlo in damages for injuries done \ it c
others by publications made in his i
urnal, yet he cannot bo accounted 8j(,
?rally responsible for the eflect of auy or
deles that appear in his paper unless ,
be shown that they were either written . J
himself or distinctly published with 1 1,1
owledge and consent. Discussion of c<)1
e point arose upon tho prwfl'er by Mr. l0|
arts of certain articles printed 111 tho
tfiffii .1 ?/r while Mr. Tiltou was cdi- CO!
r. One of these articles was an exiot
from tho Troy Tines, given as | P1'
ws, and of course it was not pretended I '
at Mr. Tilton wrote it; and it was not wil
oj)osed even to show that he wrote J to
e others. It was argued that as these ue
ecos contemplated marriage from a ; <
ry loose standpoint it would be suffi- jU]
nt to show that they were published g,.,
a paper controlled by Mr. Tilton in n f
der to show that he held tho same
ews, and the learned counsel proposed ...
make a precedent in this case "to j |
ild an editor responsible in the sphere .
public opinion and morality for arti- in*
;s that are published in his newspaper,
lethcr ho is personally tho writer of ',c
cm or not, if they appear as the issue >'?
his paper, and not credited to any t'1'
iin,. " C1...C < ....o?
plained, if the articles were "original Sn
itter." lai
Now tl\e theory of editorial responsi- i yo
lity thus imagined by Mr. Evarts ! (
mid place editors in ndillieult dilemma j .
tween their obligations to public mo- 11
lity and their obligations to givo the 1
wh. For the " original matter " conin})late<l
by the lawyers covers all that 1 1
given in a newspaper that lias not
en previously printed. It does not a.*
erely mean the editorial articles; those R1S
esumed expressions of the editor's 8P
linions on the topics of the day, for "a
licli Ills responsibility is never denied I
d for which alone of all that appears tli
the paper he can be rationally deemed ar<
sponsible; but it covers all that he ne
hits without copying it from somo iuj
her journal or printed source?all that
es not go within turned commas. Our .j
:-t obligation is to give the news. Are j
? responsible, morally, for what the
ws may be i on
Chinese Politeness.
Rules of politeness are all regulated at stt
dun by a Tribunal of Rites. In case foi
u wish to pay a visit to a mandarin, to
e proper thing to do is to send in your ha
rd, on a small piece of red paper, on no
licli is your name, followed by a polite in*
utence, as this: " The tender and sinre
f: iond of your lordship, and the ab
rpotual disciple of your doctrine, thus j)a
oseiits himself to pay his respects and (\ii
bow before you to the earth." If the
uidarin is willing to receive you, he re)
ks you to jioss before him. You are ??
pected to make the humble reply, " I R|,
re not;" and, after an infinity of gesres,
which are all arranged, and oblitory
phrases, the master of the house '
iws to a chair, and slightly dusts it
th the corner of his robe, upon which
hi are at lenortli sent.nl. The .IhTi.-nl
?s are much increased when ten or a ^
?zen mandarins call upon 1111 English- Hj
in at once, and, according to the cusm,
tea is offered, beginning at one of
o highest rank. He protends to offer J11'
the next, then to the third, and so on "ll
the last. All having politely refused, H|'
permits himself to drink it. The sec
id, in turn, has to offer the cup to the Kn
hers, and thus the farce proceeds until UI1
have gone through the wearisome an
ik. __ 80
Weight ami Height of Americans. ho
According to a recent work of Mr. B. no
Gould, actuary to the United State> M
mmission, in which some very inter- at
ting figures relative to soldiers in the pi
it war are given, it appears that the eh
nerican nation, instead of being de- wi
uorated and inferior to tlio European th
ee in point of physical perfection, is
r the. reverse. The figures adduced ()j
ow that " tlie tallest men wore from
iehigan, Illinois, and Wisconsin; the j)(
xt tallest, New England, New York, <>n
ew Jersey; and the shortest from Scot- ^
ul, England, Germany." In weight,
e men of Kentucky and Tennessee
re the heaviest, averaging 150 pounds;
lgland, Scotland, France, liclgium, all ^
tween 108 and 130 pounds. The ratio ^
weight to stature gave in pounds to ^
e inch; Ohio and Western States, 2.New
England, 2.121; England and
:utlnnd, 2.118; Germany, 2.iG8. j"
A business Transfer.
Some months ago a young mechanic
Newport, It. I., found himself his em- 't('(
oyer's creditor for wages that had been j
li>aid for some time. He was not
r..i i.:.. - ti'?L- i - ?i.
iin^Miu in ms riiDiis run cur- j ,
noy that was acknowledged to bo bis *
10, but persistent dunning on tho part J ^
bin journeyman provoked tho em- j 1
oyer into declaring in tho presence of |
ird pn ties that if ho didn't settle the j pv
mini in fidl before n certain day named 1 an
* would give bis creditor his shop nnd i it
* contents. Nothing further was said lai
out the uncollected balance, but when 1 44
e day i riived the rash employer went wl
his shop and failed to get in. Tho ' sti
ck had been changed. The young man I1
ok his employer at his word, and tho th
tt r surrendered unconditionally, and 44
ado no n instance. Hardness goes on an
the old stand, but tliero has been a ; 44
tang in the proprietorship. The 44
tango was m nle so quietly that but few sa
lople aro aware of its existence. to
Items of Interest.
Yn inside dental expense?Having a
ith tilled.
lakes are like lints; the drier they are
> better they crack.
When a man bows to circumstances ho *
forced to be polite.
[f you want to mako a drum stick set
>n the head of a tar barrel.
Which would you rather do for a
ady business, go to Wheeling Virginia,
go to Corning Iowa?
Mrs.- Fitzgerald, of San Antonio, Texas,
i set an example to her sex by taking a
itraet to grade nineteen miles of railul.
rhe king of Dahomey has a necklace
nposed of two hundred and fifty human
rs, and that ear necklace is his great
iile.
Hie newspaper publishers of Boston
11 contribute from $('>0,000 to $70,000
tho Post-office department under the
w law.
Hie president of the Kansas Agriculr.il
College complains that not one
nluate of that institution has become
armor since 1807.
A. slippery question just now is whet er
s better to be a fat man and comedown
avy, or to be at hin man and have notli;
to break the fall.
A thickness of newspapers between tho
dquilts will help wonderfully to keep
u warm these cold nights. "Now is
i time to subscribe,"
A son asked his father: "Why is Mr.
litli's liquor store like a counterfeit dol ?"
"I can't tell, niy sou." " Beeauso
u can't pass it," said the boy.
Oh! for those good old days, sighs an
diana editor, when this office received
ougli patent-office reports to keep
ery stove red-hot from November to
ucli.
A yonug lady in Kenoshn, Wis., made
rip to Niagara Falls and back, and for
: months afterwards she refused to
enk to any of her old chums who
du't traveled.
Some people, who are willing to admit
a lyre of Apollo, assure us that there
3 no modern lyres. Ah, but they have
ver made the acquaintance of a Wash
?ton special correspondent.
A silly fellow whose ears were unusuy
large once simperingly asked a witty
ly: " Will I not make a line angel f"
Well, no," she replied, pointing to his
rs, " I think your wings are to high."
rrhnvA WiiQ n vnrv <1 i ami of fln'of fl?n
?
lier day at a fashionable wedding. He
>le an ostentatiously displayed check
r a thousand dollars from the gifts, only
find that the old man's balance in the
uk was four dollars and fifty cents. He
w thinks there is 110 chance for honest
lustry.
A young bride who had been fashionly
educated was asked by her fond husud
to attend to the ordering of the
tiner, as ho shouldn't have time to go to
e market. It is a fact that she blandly
quested the butcher to send home a
leg of tongue, seventeen pounds of
?ak and two halibut."
The man who buys moro books than
y other person in Louisville works for
moderate salary in one of the newsper
olliees. The books he buys are
vavs good, and he gives them away
fast as he buys them, oidy stipulating
at the person who receives a book
all read it.
At Schoharie, N. Y., not long since, a
mse crept into a beehive to steal
ney, but was caught in tho act and
ing to death by the irate bees. Soon
e mouse began to disseminate a bad
lell, which bees cannot tolerate; being
iable to remove it, they went to work
d sealed him up hermetically in wax,
that not tho slightest odor escaped.
Very stern parent indeed?" Como
ar, sir ! What is this complaint tlio
hoolmaster lias made against you J"
uch injured youth?" It's just nothing
all. You see, Jimmy Hughes bent a
n, and I only just left iton the teacher's
air for him to look at, and he came in
thout his specs and sat right down 011
e pin and now I10 blames me for it!"
A Cincinnati family, whose two-yenril
child, a much beloved little girl, died
or a year ago, managed to preserve the
>dy of the child almost perfectly by an
nbalming process, and have kept it in
eir house ever since. Daily the ' pants
have viewed the form of their little
ie, almost as fresh as when in life, and
e effect has been very deleterious upon
e mother's Health, insomuch that the
trial of the child is now rendered necesry.
When the Puko of Newcastle was in
is country, a citizen of Cincinnati, who
id managed to get introduced to the
ike, thus introduced his wife at Pike's
l>era House: "Duke, let me introduce
at to my wife, Mrs. Judge , the
usiu of Mrs. Abrnham Lincoln and the
.lighter of Major-General , of
ntucky, who was brutally massacred
' the British and Indians while gloriisly
lighting for his country at the
ittlo of the ltiver liaison."
A country schoolmaster had two
ipils, to one of whom he was partial,
d to tho other severe. One morning
happened that theso two boys worn
to, inul wore called up to account for it.
You must have hoard the bell, boys;
ly did you not como <" "Please, sir,"
id the favorite, " I was dreaming that
ivas going to Hudson, and 1 thought
e schoolbell was the eteanrbont boll."
Very well," said the master, glad of
ly pretext to excuse the favorite.
And now, sir," turning to the other,
what have you to say?" " Please,sir,"
id the puzzled boy, '' I?I was waiting
see Tom off!"