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THE WAY TO XSEP HI 1L. "Out again to-night?" said Mrs. Hayes^ fretfully, as ber husband rose from tho tea* table, aud donned bU great ooat. "Yes, I have an engagement with Moore, I vhall be in early; have a light in tho library. Good night" And with a carolers nod, William Hayoa left the room. "Always the way," murmured Liizie Hayes, sinking back upon the sofa. Out every night. I don't believe he cares one bit about me now, and yet we've been married only two years. No man can have a more orderly houso I am sure, I never go any where I am not a bit er ?n rfft ?onl nnrl rrrtf T KaImva lin In7PR u""'bul" ? "uu Jv" * * ? me any more. O, dear, why it it? I wasn't rich; he did not mnrry mo for ray money, and he must have loved roe then; why does he treat me with bo much neglect ?" And with hor mind filled with such frightful queries, Lizzie foil asleep on the sofa. Let rao paint her picture as she lay here. She was a blond?>, with ? small graceful figure and a pretty faco. The hair which showed by its rich waves its natural tendency to curl, was brushed smoothly back, and gathered into a rich knot at the back ?it was such a bother to curl if, she said ?her cheek was pale, and the whole faco wore a discontented exprosaion. ITer dress was a neat chints wrapper, but she wore neither collars nor sleeves "What's the use of dressing up just for Willarn ?" Lizzie slept soundly for two hour*, and then awoke suddenly. She eat up, glanced i at the clock, and sighed drearily at the prosnect of the loner interval still to be spent beforo bedtime. The library was just over the room in which sho sat, nnd down the furnaoe-flue, i through the register, a voice came to the young wife's eats. It was her husband's. ( "Woll, Moore, what's a man to do? I must ] have pleasure somewhere. "Who would j have fancied that Lizzie Jarvis, so pretty, sprightly, and loving, could change to tbe fretful dowdy she ig now 1 Who wants to ] stay at home to hear his wife whining all , tho evening about her troublesome servants, , and ber headache and all sorts of bothers? She's got the knack of that drawling whine so pat, 'pon my life I don't believe she can speak plesantly." Lizzie sat as if stunned. Was this true f She looked in the glass. If not exactly , dowdy, her costume was certainly not suitable for an eveniog with only William to admire. She rose, and softly went to her room, with bitter, sorrowful thoughts, ond a firm resolution, to win back her husband's heart, and then, his love regained, to keep him. * * The next morning William came into the breakfast room with his usual careless manner, but a bright smile came on his tips as be saw Liizzie. A pretty chintz, with neat .collar and sleeves of enow-white muslin, with a wreath of toft full curls, had really metamorphosed her; while the blush her husband's admiring glance called op to her chock did not detract from her beauty. At first William thought there must be a guest, hut glancing around, be found they were alone. t(Come, William, your coffee wi 11 soon bo cold," aald Lizzie, in a cheerful pleasant > voice. 1 ''It must cool till you sweeten my break- ' fast with a kisa," said bor husband orossing < the room to her Bide, and Liizzie's heart bounded as she recognized the old lover'e (one and manner. Not ono fretful speech, not one complaint fell upon William's ear through the meal. The newspaper, the usual solace at that hour, lay untouched, aaLizzie chatted gaily on every pleasant topio she could think o? warming by his grateful interest and cordial manner. "You will be at home to dinner?''she aid, as he went out. ' Can't to-day, Lizzie, Fve business out of town but I'll be home early to tea. TTafA orvimHtnrr aiiKolaniial T J?'* ' wuvolUUVIH'l IUI ft. UUU 6 * expect to dino. Good bye" And the smi- i ling look, warm kiss, and lively whistle were ' a metrked contrast to his lounging careless i gait of the previous evening. 1 "I am in the right itath," said Liziie in a low whisper. *Ob, what a fool I have < been for the last two years 1 A fretful ' dowdy.' William, you shall never say 4 that again." f Line loved her husband with a real t wifely devotion, and her lipa would quiver ( aa she thought of the confidence to his ? friend Moore; bat like a brave little woman ' she stifled baok the bitter feeliag, and ? tripped ott to perfect her plans. The grand < piano, silent for months, waa opened, and < the linen covers taken from the faraitare, 1 Lizzie saying, "He shan't find any parlors < more pleas^pt than his owb, I'ox dote rain- 3 ed." \ r'/) Tea>time, and "William came with it. A I little figure in- a tasty, bright silk drsp " smooth oaxla; and ohl sueh a lovely hlosh < and ?alle? stood ready to welcome William ( aa he dime in \ tea*ti?ne patted as the < A a. - - * " ' gsuruiug uteei aaa done. A/(W (?ft, lh?? fUDO movement saauftl toward the b*t~ ff?dk. Wlllmm Hood op. boaida tha Ublo lingering wd chatting, wxttt Iam* ?to?e. She'fed! him to the light, ?ant parlor, 1b their pitotty ulo* of wnufol wrtgaeet, id 4r?w bim down to tM Wjw J)V> I Ho felt ae if he were courting over again, as be watched her fingers, busy with aorao fancy needlo-work, and listened to the obeerful voioe he bad loved so dearly two years bofore. "What aro you making, Lizzie ?" "A pair of slippors. Don't you remember how much you admired tbo pair I worked for you?oh ! over so long ago ? "I remember?black velvet, with flow- j era on them. I used to put my feet j on the fenders' nnd dreBra of bluo eyes ] nnd bright curia, nnd wished timo would ; move faster to the dny when I cotiH bring my bonny wife homo to make music in my house." Lixzio's face saddened for a moment, as she thought of the last two ypar.?, and how little mueio she hnd mndo (or his loving heart, gradually weaning it from its allegiance, and then sbo said : "I wonder if you love music as you did then!" "Of course I do. T very often drop into Mrs. Smith'd for nothing else than to hear the mime." "I can plav and sing better than Mrs. Smith," said Lzzio, pouting. But you always say you are out of practice when I ask you. "I had the piano tuned this morning. Now open it and wo will pee how it eonDds." William obeyed joyfully, and tossing aside her sewing, Lizzie took the piano stool. She had a very sweet voice, not powerful, but most musical, and was a very fair performer on the piano." "Ballad, Lizzie."' "Oh. ye?, I know you dislike opera music In a parlor.' One song after another, with a nocturne or lively instrumental piece, occasionally, between them, filled up another hour pleasantly. The little mantel clock etruck eleven ? "Eleven 1 I thought it was about nine. L ought to a^ologizo, Lizzie, as T used to do for BtaviDg bo long; and I can truly, as I did then,that the time has passed so pleasantly faan scarcely believe it so late.' Tho piano was closed, Lizzie's work put up in the basket, and William was ready ITA iirt QfoiM* Ki%* rtloriftino 1 bv gv usvaiiQf vuv giauvi'ig uouq^ no oaw I bis little wife Dear the fire place, her haoda I clasped, and her head bent, and Urge tears falling; from her eyes. He wo? beside her in an instant. "Liazie, darling, ate you ill ? What is the matter?' "Oh, William, I have been suoh a bad wife, I heard you tell Mr. Moore last evening how I had disappointed you; but I will try to make your home pleasant. Indeed I will, if yoa will forgive and love ra9.' "Love you ! Oh, Lizzie, you can't g'leas how dearly I love you !' As the little wife lay down that night, Bhe thought? "I hare won him back again ! Better than that, I have learned the way.tokeep him I' ^ ? THE POWER OF CIPHBB9. The enlightened man may have a clear understanding of thousand* and even millions; but much beyond that he can form no iiatinct idea. A simple, example, and one jSdily solved, will illustate tbe observation. Lf all the vast bodies of water that nearly three?foutha of the globe were )mptied into one grand reservoir, the whole number of drops could de written by ,wo words, "eighteen sectillions," and expressed in figures by annexing twenty-four :iphers to the number eighteen(i8,000,000,)00,000,000,000,000,000.) Man might as veil attempt to explore the bounds of efcerlity as to form any rational idea of the mits embodied in the expression above; 'or although the aggregate of drops is io? licated by figures in the space of only one nch and a half in ordinary print, yet, if lach particular drop were noted by a 8??p? irate stoke like the figure 1, it would form * line of marks sufficiently long to wind ouud the tun six thousand billions of .imesl Now, observe, if you please, the marvel >ub power or value which the ciphers, naigmficant by themselves, give the sigbifi sant figures 18. The young reader will be lurprised to learn that the use of the cipher A nft ?V?* 1 . * >? ?. uiu? ?w mug ui muj jnidwuimr igure, which is now practiced by every choolboy, was unkbown to the ancients, rheierors, among the Greeks aod Romans ind other nati * a of antiqaity arithmetical >perationa were xceediagly tedious and liffloolt. They h d to reckon with peb? ee, shells, or baade, osed as counter*, to xantact the ordinary business of life. Even the great Oioero, in bis oration for Koaoina, the actor, in order to exprese three loadred thousand, had to make see of the eery awl^rard a*d oambreu* notatiop, 9001000 oooiooo cooiooo. Sow y?jr odd this the ymr of oorj Lord mwoatxT^r (1006).? UnntLl* - r A y?ry?btaot nb dwf iodiridaaf, beiog BpMt from ? boatlfe thft'irar, tank twloft bafyre be rera?mb?vd that favooald ?wiun% He fortanataiy r?n?etiab?f*J it just Mote U teak ike l??t and tliihJ.tfeM. SIDNEY SMITH AS PASTOB. One is not accustomed to tbink of Sidney Smith an a devout man, or as a reotor who would feel much interest in the spiritual condition of bis flock. But tbo veteran editor of tho New York Observer, in one of hia pleasant letters from "under tbo tree?," gives the following account of his pastoral habits nnd labors: | lie is just tbo lost mnn you would expect to find in a solf-denying, bard-work ing country minister and village pastor. Yet ho came noaror lIia hmn idenl of ! good man than wo often see in this world, and perhaps there are fewer of them in this country than in England. ITo built an ugly-looking house for a parsonago; had the furniture made in his barn by the village carpenter; lived in the greatest simplieiiy, and was actually straitened by poverty. But ho went about, doing good. Besides managing u miserable farm of three hundred acre*, and writing sermons for the pulpit, and brillian1 articles constantly tor the Edinburgh Re? r ? ? - ?iv?r, eifiicui imuipuiet.fi, nn<i letters innumerable, and seeing company, he was al wayt> on tlie j-lort among his parishioner*, the poorer, of tho pour; eveu studied medicine, that he might be their doctor, and he taught them how to nurse the nick and care for themselves; ho inspired them with courage when infectious disease's prevailed, and at all times, night or day, when be could be of service to the forlornfamily in his parish, lie was on hand as a physician and minister, careingfor their bo. dies and folds. His house was a depot of supplier for the poor, for whom lie provided at his own cost, and his purse was always open to the calls of charity, though he often was .1 _r te " giccxijr 111 in-eu ui muney mnihcir. ne could not nffo.d to buy books, ai d when his friends some tiroes sent hiin some, they were hailed with the liveliest joy. Yet he never failed to help the poor in every way that made them more comfortable and bappy, and they regarded him bb an angel of mercy whose thoughts were od deeds of kindness bent. There are many Christian pastors among us who aro more spiritually religous men than Sidney Smith. But there are very few among us who have ibis style of piety ?thip idea of practical usefulness among the people of their care. Il^re was a man whose talents, education, associations, and position placed him among the most refined and elegant people, yet finding time and will to into the most Bqualid abodes of vice, disease, and want, and there with his own hands waiting on the sick and teaching the ignorant how to make one another comfortable. I Why do we not have more men like Sidney Smith } It was not his love for the work, so much as his sense of duty, resolution to do what his place demanded, that took him out of his study and family and elegant society, into the hovels of the miserable poor, and made him a working I pastor, a shepherd caring for the sheep, and in many respects a model parish minister. Among the poor people of the poor parish of which he was the good pastor, he did the work of a faithful servant of God, and it would be well for anv Chnrch to have manyjn misters like him. ARKANSASv^Arkansas possessing a soil of unsurpassed richness, nod a climate pe culiarly suited to the raising of cotton, is bound to be, in the course of time, the first cotton State in the South. The time of this m"st depend very much upon onr owo actions. We need wise legislation to make the labor we have profitable. To do this we must have some system to regulate and make certain that the oontracts made between employee and employer will be enforced or damages will be collec* table in case of failure from either party fttafr to Jolinnnftnf A f vwAruvrk* ity of the laborers are negroes, and are aoder the management of tb ?t God foraakon institution, the freed men's bureau, wbioh we, in all candor, tbiuk an enemy, both to tbe white and black man?and indeed to every one save the pockets of those who have tbe fortune of holding positions, under it. This is iodeed one of the greatest obstacles we bare to coptend with,and if it is to be continued the little pittanoe. whicli has been left the State by tbe late war, will be tAken to pay taxes to support tbis mammoth swindling machine; but let us hope for the best, and think that the good sense of tbe conservative party North will rally aad drive from power the men who are otainkig this unconstitutional humbug, ?pd that uex* April it will, leave our toil never to he beard of save as one of the greatest follies of the past. Then wUI labor emigrate to oat State; and her v$H fUfd superior mineral reeouroea will be jBprtfVtd and worked, onr-internal system of transportation will be oommended and Arkansas wifl become as the ought/ the waallhsst of tbe- Southern States. To offset this end we bare much to do; w? mast form and put in working order emi? gram ua societies, ana onng tM tiMltby { borer* from the out u? sttpply the pleoo of Ihipyoei lately eet free, aadjawteied .of theState soearnestly to work, eed wilb proper enwgy mkS ?eoRoi*7, t*il iw years will suffice to place her among the i prngpaniHH ' i ii|fl imnri^n Union. f^Monticello QuardimL?~B DISTINGUISHED MSN AND WO KMT. K. r. WILLIS Tbe Springfield Republican makes the following racy sketch of this great American poet: Fanny Fern is lost in tlio orowd, and It ore cornea her brother, N.P. Willis, the Beau Brummel of our literary Adonis of the last generation. N. P. of tho present day bears a fuint resomblanco to the beautiful A ruinous smiling amid the ringlets on tho front page of his Scripture poems. He is nuw the relio of that handsome youth contending with lime at lust at most unequal odds. OH, N. P. "Why will you twire that. wintry ourl In such a sprinp-like way?" It id melancholy to trace the furrows of time on the faro of a woman wbo has always lived lor the world. It is more melancholy still to look into the face of such a man. Through ull the best years of his life it was the misfortune of N. P. to bo the pet of drawing rooms?the spoiled darling of women. Thry defrauded his genius by diluting it with folly. Whatever of profound conviction?whatever of exalted purpose ho might have had, was dissipated in the atmosphere of a false life. The atmosphere of that life pervades hivn still. Affectation and imagination constantly travel by the splendor of spring, and the summer of hiB triumphs. lie talks with you not of the great struggle of bis time, of the issuos of the hour, of the human nature around him ?but the broakfast of Lady Blcasington, of the magnificenoo of Court D'Orsay, the fascinations of Lady Bulwer, the charms ol Lady Morgan, the perfection of European high lifo, the mortifying commonness of our own. inus, as nn autlior, Lis lino genius bad been nearly all sundered upon tlie merest trivialities. Dow the hair should grow upon the back" of your neck, the shape of your ears; the sizo of your feet; your fashion of holding your fork, .ire all themes to be dignified into essays. Yet we cannot forget that ho is almost the laBt of the brilliant ooteric of young poet*, whose lyrics wero the delight ol our mothers, and which are not without a charm (or ourselves. I am sure that I don't forget that ray school giil eyes grew dim over "Absolom," and poured forth fender teare for Hagur; that every pulse husBtirred with the inspiration of the valedictory of Yale, or that N. P. WillU has written 6ome of the finest lyrics of our times. Had this exquisite genius ever been quickened by an ennobling purpose; had he.written and lived, not only for society; but humanity, he might have left behind hitn creations of thought which would have made his oarno "a joy lorever." Thus about this still very elegant man hovers all the pathos of the might-have-b^en. As ho passes feebly on with the crowd I think how the gay proccession of life has nearly all passed before bis eyes. The carnival of his youth, the pageantry of bis prime, beautiful women, gifted men. glitter ing assemblies, fashion, flattery, ail that mnlrAR 1 ifa tr\ anoh a man naooa/1 lito ? dreatu gone by ; and what is left for him inore than for ua all?a few days of infirm J ity the grave and tbe hereafter. Rev. Henr7 Ward Bebohkr.?TWia clergyman, pretty well known in the South for bis anti-slavery doctrines and teachings, preached a parmon in his cburcb in New Yoik, last Sunday, and our readers will be somewhat surprised to read his altered I tone and sentiments in tbe oonoluding paragraph quoted below: "I am as strong as erer in the conviction tbat the true result of the war must de reoognized. Whatever went into the Conafi r lit in n aii oaantint /*f ?!??? ? ???* ?? ?...? ?m vm hwvhu* vi oihtci jr ujudv v;umo out; anJ what was kept out on aoeouut of slavery must be put into our organic law ?and I have believed aod labored lor this as strongly and longer than many of you. But I have fult that it ahould be done in the spirit of love, not of hatred. I consider the doctrines brought forward :n the House of Representatives by Mr. Stevens? though followed in their entiety, thank God, by very few?I think them to be the dootrines of Belial, leading to'dostrnotion. The North bad a ohance to show grace, and love and magnanimity. How I longed to set it. Both Congress and the President .1J I a anonia uave ooen pressed to U nion. I bud hoped to see the North showing her superiority in Chrn-tisn nobleness nod generaas forgiveness. But I have been disappointed It has not been done. Xou ew no more ohange rebels to loyal nw by casting them oat and turning ibem away, than you can ooDvert the wicked by building up a wall of separation between thetn and the good ?shutting them out from the very influences that should be brought to fsar upon tb?m. If thine enemy, hiltyger, fsed bim? 4f IkA I V> IS^fr UlM. JaaitL. - -* IKUI U'lUllj WT| 1M BU living thaa?hftit h\*bt?), B? aot uvM?omo?i ?*il* orareono ?wU *?Ufa foo^z thmrn*.t? *<#*. &#*':Tfki *??r? Sniffkins sty* tb6l J*ok is * na??n Mxf impodtat &UoW'r ilmdy*. catting ku bttfc fri?sd>. Snjffkina OMOtJw^Q^. : -' THE FAMILY OF FOBNKY. We liwve another piquant article from the pen -of VMack," tho wideawake and intell igent correspondent of the Cincinnati Commercial, in tbo sketch of the "Dead Duck's" quacking relatives and immediate family, which we publish below. "Mack" deserves credit for this interesting notice of the "house of Forney4,'' FORNET, TUB DISINTERESTED PATRIOT. Every once in a while the great Amo rican toady, John W. Forney, 9peaks of the party which supports tho President nS made up of "hirelings,' 9 word which he borrows from the voonbulttry of the late Southern masters. The public may like to know bow purely disinterested Forney h, and Lhb been, in support of the Republican party ?bow much self sacrifice bo displays in the premises, in fact. Firstly, then, there is John W.Forney the dead duck in propria persona, Clerk of til.- Senate, at $3,500 a year and stealings. Secondly, there is D. C. Foruey, publisher of t ho Chronicle, cnu?iu of the dead duck'* in pay of the Senate, drawing a salary of about $2,000 a year fur wotk bicb lie never performs?a clear swindle. Thirdly, there id another Forney, a brother of the duck's, mail, agent between heri, and Philadelphia. Fourthly, there iB another brother, hiale agent on the Pennsylvania Central Road. Fifthly, there is a junior Forney, who al' through the war was a staff offijer, on duty in Philadelphia. Six til Iv. th?rA if) nnnllior inn nf tlio /lnarl 1 J , ? - """ duck's who, early in the war, w?b got a commission in the Davy, under a solemn covenant never to be sent to Bea, nor expoeed to the rude fire of rebel guns?and he never was. Seventhly, Forney is carried about the city of Washington in a vehicle owned by the Government, drawn by a horse owned by the Government, and driven by a man pa d as a laborer in the Caditol grounds.? All of wich may be strictly patrotic, but jt is not legal. Eighthly, Forney has for a private servant a man who is paid as a laborer fur the Senate, which is contrary to the law in such cases made and providad. Ninthly, Forney gets tbo Chronicle edited by men who are paid as clerks of the Seuate, which may be patriotism, but looks like swindling. Tetithly, Forney will employ nobody as olerk or messenger in the Senate who will not help to edit either the Chronicle or Ihe Press; which is good economy but bad moraia in the dead duck. Eleventhly, Forney wrote a begging letter to the President about six months ago.? The President did not grant the prayer of the petitioner, and the Chronicle immediate ly came out against Andrew Johnson and his policy; which may be disinterested, but doesn't look that wav; looks rather like an unsucoeeesful attempt to. Crook the pregnant hinges of the knee, Whcti thrift may follow Favmey. Whet a self-sacrificing patriot Forney is, to be Burel MACKAUT0GBAPK8 OF GEN. B- E. LEE. A lady of St. Mark's congregation. Richmond, having written to General R. B. Lee asding some of bin autographs to be disposed of at the fair now open, in aid of the uew Missionary Church and parish school received from him the following kind and Christian letter: Lexington, Va., 26th May, 1806. ]/.. n 1A _ T * V I my x/ear jars. : l ihkp pleasure in comptmnce with jour request of the 23d, to forward to you vevsral sheets of my autograph, and shall be very glnd if I can in any way be <>f hervioe in aiding you and your frieuds in organizing ,nd erecting an additional house of worship to Almighty God, to whom our praise and gratitude are always doe. With mo?t earnest wishes for the success of your praiseworthy enterprise, and with my kindest regards to yourself and Mr. I am, with great respect, Your obedient servant, B. E. LEE. Sour Ob Nothing.?At a very excellent hotel, not a hundred miles from our psria, mey were one day soon 01 a waiter, when a newly arrived Hibernian was hastily made to supply the place of a more expert hand. "Now Baraey," said piioehoat, 4l?niod yoa serve ev ery man with aoap the first thing ssjre aonp first." "Badad, 191 do that aoe," said the alert Barney. Soap cams on, and Barney, afcr helping all bnt one guest, came up to the last one. "Soup, sir?" said Barney. "No soup for ma," said the ronn. "Bat you must have it?it is the rulesaf j tbehotue." "D?nth* roles of the hoMvl^ezotaimad thegaett. -When I don'tI woo* ' ; , n &' r*si ??VT?^ tiw fegaMw. of the honae, **S: w ya bjfcweaeeheMkeeoiipl .< ? .-. d-tU *?>* Wf gofcfcMC * . ' 'i o!:;v>drfZ .lwz-}, + ? ' v The Eubopkan War.? The New 9 York Post says Austria, it seem*; at the 9 last moment, refuses to oorae into the oon- 9 ference,|was proposed obiefly or her account, 9H except on condition that she shall not lose territory. This is as though a country gent- fnS leman should refuse to enter a mock auc? I9S tion shop except on condition that he Sli should not have bis pockets picked. jK Prossia, Italy and France, all expect to ?| gain 6onfething; Austria alone was to give 9 up a good deal< England stood bylike a SlP aober-?ided policeman, not so much caring fflg who was robbed as anxious that everything should be decently ana quietly done. n Austria reftfses to join the conference no 9 say* Napoleon. Ge has ingeniously brought flH offn Iva tr% a ? * iuwk, ana now ha SB wipes hiseyeaand cries, "Oh, what mad? 3 new), oh, wha\ peiver9ity!" And truly we think Prussia and Austria tnad and perversa aS lor they should see that the only one likely ?? to gain by their quarrel is Napoleon. ^9 War items now inevitable; the beginning 9H I is near; tho end, considering the various w 1 forces and motives at work, openly and 8 secretly, he would be a shrewd man who H could foresee. H ' Logan," who was in Louisville, Ky., a ill few days since, in a letter to the StandnrJ SH thus writes of George D. Prenti<r?, the 9 world-renowned editor of the Journal: H "He is a homely and shabby looking ? specimen of humanity; had on a pair of fe worn out slippers, a dirty shirt, needy cost, H and evidently had -not washed his face in n several weeks. But such is not unt'requnt* S ly the garb of genius?an eccentric way M that great men often adopt for being dis- 9 tinguished from tha masses. I regret that w my curiosity ever sought an introduction H to George D. Prentice, for, while I cannot fl but admire him as a journalist, scholar, poet ? and wit, the ramenbrance of his personal X appearance roust ever detract from the sublimity of his effusrons." K A few nights since, some young men, n going from New Yoik to A^any in the H cht?, were getting ralber noisy and profane, when a gentleman in a white cravat tapped ode of them upon the shoulder with the remark, "Young man, do you know you are on the road to perdition ?' 'That's just my luck,' said the 'young man ; 4I took a ticket for Albany, aud I've got on the wrong train.' A bickering pair of Quakers were lately heard in bigh controversy, the husband exclaiming, I am determined to have one quiet week with thee I' 'But how wilt thou be rble to get it ? said the taunting spouse in'reiteration,' which married ladies RO prnvnkinjjty intlulga in. *1 <v<U keep thee a week after thou aiL dead,' was the Qunker's rejoinder. Slopping at a village iriD, there came a thunder storm, and Captain Hall, surprised that a new country should reach a perfection in those meleorologic manufactures, said to a tiystanaer,'Why, you have very heavy thunder here.' 'Well ye-*,* replied the man, 'we du, considering the number of inhabitAnts.' At the battle of Spires a regiment hail order-* not to grant any quarter; and an unhappy enemy, wounded and disarmed, begged hard Tor hi* life from one of its officers. Touched with his situation, the other replied 'I pity your misfortune, and ?ank anything eUe but that, and upon mV hnnnr T will wi-ant uniif runnoii ' J ? - * 6 ? An old lady, on being eximinod before a magistrate aj to her place of legal settlement, was asked what reason she had for supposing her husbind had a legs I settlement in that town. The old lady said, 'He was born and married.there, and they buried biro there, and if that isn't settling him there, I don't know what it.' The following advertisement recently appeared in a daily paper: 4A young lady who has received a good education, oan read and write, and is versed in geography, history, music, dancing and elementary mathematics, wishes a situation in a respectadle family as a washer and ironer.' O'Connell, in addressing a jury, bating exhausted every ordinary epithet of abuse, topped for a word, added, this naufrageOU8 ruffian.' When afterward* aaked by bis friends the meaning of tbe word, be confessed he did not know, bat laid 'be thought it sounded well.' - * i 'Isn't it strange,' asked a friedd the other day, 'that Sir Isaao Newton shook! e?er have indulged in clownish fr&*k* V Wben did haT we inquired* whear<he waa dividing the raja of lights, to be Mire, for waea't that iwttiog up ehioea?' A pb v sipifn os'Jerfd ope * f hie patients to drinkwater. The man n?ade a wty froeat the suggestion, ?Itfr odirtbeUnt glass that is unpleasant,' a*id t&tf thsctor. '.-Ypiy well, Lh^,! answered ihe?ickm&n, ?p|! j>jp^y dnofetj^e second.' Tom, I hear you are going South to T& iheri are; bo) ?h$i 1} v?m in **i HuhJrn* r SolctJoo of Haostad twr Wfih' W ?d<M aa.?)anHMia^7:.?0%Hlo IM .fprm of * QhcsE- BlOVf * i- * > - ;'v?( 4> fi