The southern enterprise. [volume] (Greenville, S.C.) 1854-1870, November 03, 1869, Image 1
A. REFLEX OF ?>0^^ ' ^ ^ _ |
JOHN C. BAILEY, PRO'R. GREENVJI.I.R. SOUTH CAROlll^JTio^lStriiP^Sett^' VOL. j?VI.~NO. 34.
w - ? ?"" -*~ ^*" ""
Q. F. TOWNES.
EDITOR.
3f. fl. IAILITi 1 Editor!.
O. X. ELTOXP, J wn'
SonscmirTioK Two Dollar! per annum.
AnvnaTisaMairrs inserted at tha rates of
dollar par square of twelve Minion lines
{this sited type) or less for tha first insertioh,
Bfty oents each for tha second and third Insertions,
and twenty-lire cents for subsequent
Insertions. Yearly contracts will be mnde.
? All advertisements must hare the number
nf insertions marked on them, or they will be
inserted till ordered out, and charged for.
Unless ordered otherWlte*. Advertisements
fclll invariably be " displayed.
Obituary notices, and all matters inuring to
to the benefit of any one, ate hsganiod as
Advertisements.
roa THE SOUTHSBN KXTKBrSlSB.
What came of a Noonday Siesta.
Messrs. Editors?As some uerbodb
consider all dreams as foolish
per se, and as others consider some
dreams foolish according to their
siibject-matter, I prefer, in what I
am ab^ut to say, to use the expression
I dreamed, instead of I imagined,
so that whatever of foolish
ncss may appear, may bo laid to
the former.
As I was indulging in my usual
noonday siesta, for tue better accomplishment
of which I had been
reading the different newspapois
?as well as amusing myself with
looking over the advertisements?
I will suppose uiv mind to have
continued its worlc after the body
liad been overcome with sleep, and
that the impressions made upon it
during waking moments, had
worked themselves up into the
following picture:
There appeared, to my mind's
eye, an immense card?or picture
?much larger than any I had seen
in the advertising columns of the
papers I had been reading; indeed,
it was apparently as extensive as
the area of our whole Southern
country?a great panoramic view
that was thus spread out before my
mind's eye. Upon this huge card
"were great cities, teeming with life
and activity; long livers, covered
with numberless vessels of all descriptions,
going to aud coining
from the mighty ocean, of which
there was but an indistinct view.
All along the banks of these rivers.
and far over the inland of mountain
and dale, were seen the bus
tling towns and cheerful villages,
surrounded on every side by cleared
snots, where human beings were
busily at work, whilst the smoke,
thin and white, rose from thousands
of farm houses hid away
among the trees. Running
through this picture, and iu all directions,
were long lines of network,
over which tho iron horse
rushed with rapid strides, bearing
after him long trainsot material and
human freight; and over a similar
met-work of lines, pedestrians,
horsemen, slow-moving wagons
with their snow white covers, and
vehicles of every description were
passing here and there. The whole
view was one that filled the mind
with the sublime idea of vast and
variegated extent, and the picture
would have been complete, had it
not been that an indescrible feeling
was produced by the dazzling
light, the parched and dried appierance
that vegetation seemed
to wear, and a closeness and feeling
of suffocation, such as one
might imagine would be the effect,
were the heavens above us to be
turned into brass. A giddy sickness
caused the tnind to leavo off
the contemplation of the picture,
and instinctively it turned to tho
huge monster that held the immense
card or picture in his outstrotched
hands, just as the waking
mind had seen iu the adveriising
eolumns of the nowspaper,
though on a much larger scale,
and more wonderful in appearance.
Tho mind recoiled at the
-eiffht of this monster. aa with anr
-clonic grin, be seemed to bold the
^picture out to view; yet, by a
strange sort of fascination, beholding
once, the mind looked again
and again, until accnstomed to the
eight, it began the study of the
huge monster.
From above the immense card,
appeared a face, hnge in its dimensions,
and terrible in its contortions,
with sunken cheeks, over
which the muscles and skin were
so tightly drawn, as to give the
face the appearance of pinching
want and starvation. Devouring,
pearcing eyes?such as belong to
starvation alone?glanced like living
coals, from uuder their huge
shaggy eyebrows, that had long
since ceased to draw aay nourishment
from the parchment skin into
which they were rooted. Long,
shaggy, dry hair and beard, from
which all vitality had long since
disappeared, seemed to make the
distorted features of this huge
monster more terribly painful to
the beholder. The hands that
tightly grasped the card or p cture,
were nothing more than huge skeletons
covered with tendons and
skin, from which the fingers and
tiails terminated into foul claws.?
Below, were the attenuated limbs
of a giant, as it wore huge bones,
with the same covering of tendons
and skin, and terminating in enormous
skeleton feet. Such was the
immense size of this monster, that
thousands of human beings and
animals were crushed under his
enormous feet, whilst thousands
more, having escaped this fate,
wore clambering np their sides, or
moving about upon their upper
surface. The mind gazed horri
fied, and tried to conjecture what
this monster could bo?what meant
the picture held in his outstretched
hands, and what meant those human
beings (that resembled the
monster himself,save in size) crushed
under his enormous feet, and
what meant the escape of those
other beings, who had not wholly
taken to themselves the likeness of
the monster. W hilst the ever active
mind is revolving an explanation
of that great panoramic view, and
a name for that huge monster, two
words from those shrilly sounding
lips: Retrench! Economize!! btrike
the car, and tho explanation is
complete.
That picture is our own country
scour ed by drouth, and that ,
monster is " Hard Times."
Tho waking question is: Will
these woi ds ot warning bo heeded,
and will we preserve strength to
keep from under the feet of old
" Hard Times I"
ItEVEUR.
The Synod of South Carolina.
C .,,1 o >U r\ li?
jliiv u v mm vi DUU1U v>uruillia
stand adjourned to meet in tbo
Presbyterian Church of this Town,
on the 20th of October. So that,
before our present issue will have
reached our readers, this venerable
body will have begun its sessions.
The Synod consists of 80 Ministers,
and 144 Churches. The
boundaries of the Synod is co extensive
with the State, and includes
four Presbyteries. The
Synod is connected with the General
Assembly (O S.) of the Presbyterian
Church,South, which extends
over the Territory recently
acknowledged as the Southern Confederacy,
besides the State of Kentucky,
and a hopeful expectation
of being reinforced by the State
of Missouri. The formation of the
Southern Presbyterian Church was
caused by the Political schisms
among the Presbyterian Church at
the North, from which they separated
in Dec'r, 1861. The Southern
Church claims that she is the
true jronservator of the Westminster
Confession of Faith, and is in
opposition to the sad defection
which has occurred in the Northern
Church, and henco waited in
vain for returning reason to re assert
her supremacy, in repealing
all it's unconstitutional delinquencies,
which pcradventure, might
have paved the way for a restoration
of the severed ties which
bound the Northern and Southorn
branches of tho Churches together.
The realization of this hope, however,
is indefinitely postponod by
the prospective union between the
Old and New School Presbyterian
Churches, which movement will
be consummated during the month
of November, at Pittsburg, Pa.
The Government of the Presbyterian
Chnroh \a pure Republicanism?in
the high and proper senso
of the word?i. c.?the government
of tho Church by parliamentary
assemblies, coninoaed of two
classos of Elders, and of Elders only,
and so arranged as to realize
the visible unity of the whole
Church?that is, Presbyteriauism.
It contains officers, Presbyters?
ruling and teaching. It contains
Courts, Presbyteries?rising in
gradation until you reach the General
Assembly, the representative
parliament of the whole Oharcb.
It differs from Congregationtsm,
by having representative assemblies
; and from Prelacy and Pop
ery, not only by the assemblies, but
by the officers of whom thev are
composed. There is (1.) the Church
Session, which is composed of the
officers of a particular Church?
(2.) the Presbytery, -which covers
a greater or less area, and is com
posed oi representatives from the
Churches within that given territory?(8.)
next the Synod, which
embraces three or more Presbyteries,
and is composed of the officers
of the Churches of this still
larger territory, and next (4.) is
the General Assembly, which may
embrace the broad Continent, and
which is composed of representatives
chosen by the Presbyteries.
This is the last and highest Oonrt.
Statistical Table An part) lor
year ending April 1,T889:
Synods in Gen. Assembly, 11
Presbyteries, 64
Ministers, j _* 867
Licentiate*), 49
Candidates, 124
Churches, 1460
Total Communicants, 79,961
Children in Sabbath
Schools, &c., 42,2S4
Amount contributed
towards' benevolent
purposes, $774,400
The Presbyterian Church has
always been preeminently di6tin
guished as a Church devoted to
principle. In this particular it is
unrivalled. It has furnished the
noblest defenders for the truth, and
some of the most splendid suirits
alike for the State and for the field.
It has always been the patron of
Education, and its clergy have everywhere
been a c k n o w 1 edged
among the first for learning, &c.
Statistics show that the Presbyterian
Church is the largest body
of Evangelical Presbyterians in
the world.
It may not be overlooked, that
the celebrated " Mecklenburg Declaration"
of North Carolina, and
the " immortal Declaration" of
Thomas Jefferson, have their originals
in the " solemn League and
Covenant" of the " Scotch Presbyterians."
To the Presbyterian Church
therefore the United States is no
little indebted lor its principles,
&c., government, ?fcc., which alas,
however, like the unfortunate traveller
who went down from Jerusalem
to Jericho, has fallen into " bad
hands," &c., (or thieves and plun
nereis, dec.)
This section of tlio State has al?
ways been remarkable for its noble
Scotch-Irish Presbyterian population,
&c., and our only regret
is, that the whole race of man did
not belong to the same stock. At
least we can hope they will multiply
a thousand fold.
[Cheeter Reporter.
An Ingenious Piece ok Knaveky?The
Buffalo Courier exposes
a very ingenious trick by which a
gang of swindlers are making money
by mutilating national bank
notes of the denomination of five
dollars. The dodge consists of
making ten bills out of nine, and
is so managed that there is but one
pasting to each of the manufactured
notes. The nine whole bills are
taken, and from the right of the
first one-tenth is sliced off; from
the right of the second, two-tenths;
from the right of the third, threetenths
; ana so on to number nine,
from which nine-tenths are taken
from the right, or, what amounts
to the same thing, one-tenth from
the left. Number one is passed as
it is, with a tenth gone from the
a ? a a-i t
nguvj mo uue-iuiuu ihkoii iruiu
number one is pasted to tbo residue
of number two, from whioh
two-tenths have been taken ; these
two-tenths are maae to answer the
plaoeoi the three-tenths taken from
number three, and so on through.
Thus nine five dollar notes are
completed, leaving the original
number nine, with a tenth gone
from the left as a tenth note. It
will be seen that but a tenth is
gone trom each bill, and a little
ingenious pasting makes the loss
imperceptible to ordinary observers.
It is asserted that largo num
bora of these mutilated bills have
been circulated in Buffalo. The
rogues who have carried out the
fraud were cunning in selecting the
denomination they did. Larger
bills are scrutinized, and smaller
ones would not have been so remunerative.
The Department will
not redeem a bill which bears evidence
on its face that it has been
tampered with, and we advise our
friends to scrutinize their fivo dollar
notes closely.
Henry W*rd Beecher.-wii u
Mark Twain's istimat* or ap p*i?
VATH HAtmi J. LC
Mark Twain has been Writing 'JJ
up the private habits of Rev. Hen- "
r^ Ward Beecher for the Buffalo ^
Express, and from his article* we ^
select these paragraphs:
Mr. Beecher never swears. In- 1
all his life a profane expression has [j
never passed his lipe. -Bat if he ^
were to take it into his head to ^
try it once, he would make even cj
that disgusting habit seem beauti* ^
ful?he wonla handle it as it was' ^
never handled before, and if there ^
was a wholesome moral lesson hid- Qj
den away in it anywhere,he would u
ferrit it out and use it wifh^trev, j
mendous effect. ^Panoplied witj| I
his grand endowments?his judginent,
his discriminating taste, his ^
felicity of expression?bis graceful
fancy?-if Mr. Beecher had a
mind tt> swear, he would throw in- J
to it &o:ara6unt of poetry and pathos.
and SDlebdid imaffer^. and P.
moving earnestness, and resistless n
energy, topped off and. climaxed
with a gorgeous pyrotoenio conflagration
of filagree and fancy swearing,
that would astonish and de- T
light the hearer and forever after
quivei^~tbr<5tfglf,'li i s "bewildered t
memory an exqvisite cohfusion of if
rainbows and mtisic, and thunder it
and lightning. A man of a high 0
order (rfintellect and appreciation c
could sit and listen to BuLr. Beecher
swv ar for a week without getting s<
tired. C2 ^ \ v ~ a
Mr. Beecher does not go around
and get advertisements tor the t
u Plymouth Pulpit." If he does fj
it, it if-^ithout his knowledge or 8
consent. If such a report has been l
started, it is an absolute (fifty to
refute it in this article. However, t
no such report has yet been heard c
of, and therefore It is not nccessary
to do more than refute it in a c
purely general way at this tune, c
lie lias to preach, and he has to t
make the dedication speeches for
all sorts of things, and he is oblig- t
> ed to make a few remarks on near- i
ly all distinguished occasions, because
very often Mr. Greeley is |
busy aud cannot come. And be- <
sides, be has to carry on his farm.
Mr. Beectior's farm consists of f
thirty-six acres and is carried on 1
on strict scientific principles. lie
never puts in any part of a crop j
without onnanltinor hia hnnW- 11? -
ploughs and reaps and digs, and
sows according to tbo best author- j
itios and the authorities cost more |
than the other farming implements |
do. As soon as the library is com- 1
plete, the farm will bSgin tp be a <
profitable investment. His special,
weakness is bogs, however. He i
considers hog the best game a farm ]
produces, lie buys the original
pig for a dollar and a half, and ]
feeds him forty dollars' worth of I
corn and then sells him for abont ]
$9. This is the only crop he ever <
makes any money on. He loses <
on the corn, but ho makes $7 50 I
on the hog. tie does not mind
this, because he never expects to i
make anything on corn> any way. j
And any way it turns out, ho has
the excitement of raising the hog i
any how, whether he gets the
worth oi him or not. His strawberries
would be a comfortable i
success if the robins would oat turnips?but
they will not, hence tbo
difficulty. Sometimes a portion of
his crop goes into the ground the
most promising sweet potatoes, and
oomes up the mternaleet carrots?
though I never heard hiin express
it just in that way. Whou he
bought Lis farm, be found one egg
in every hen^B nest on the plaoe.
He said that hero was just the reas.
ou why so many farmers failed?
they goattered their forces too
much?concentration was the idea.
Ho he gathered those eggs together
and pot them ali under one experienced
old hen. That hen ro ?t- <
ed over that contract night and
day for eleven weeks, under the i
anxious supervision of Mr. Beeoh*
er, himself bat she could not <
iyphase" those oggs. Why? Be- <
cause they were those infamous 1
porcelain things which are used by
ingenious and fraudulent farmers |
as " nest eggs." But perhaps Mr. |
Beecher's most disastrous experi- <
ence was the time he tried to raise j
an immense crop of driod apples. <
He planted fifteen hundred dollars |
worth, but never a one of them i
sprouted. He dm never been ablel |
to understand, to this day, what i
was the matter with those apples.
Mr. Beecher's farm is not a tri- c
mpb. It would be tablet for him
he worked it on phases with sqtne
i)e; Jbut |o can tot p*d *aiJ*bldy
ho is willing to stand half the cxense,
atid not many that are able.
^Beball dOt say anything about
tr. P.cecheir'a tfennonaT T h o y
reatbe the truest and purest spirof
religion ; they are models of
ulpit orktbry, and they are proofs
tat the subject which Is the nearktto
thflfin^es! ^f mankind can
a pttt to nobler usee than the
ilorolorming o f congregations.
Ir. Beecher has done more thkn
ly other man, perhaps, to inspire
iligion with the progressive spirit
F the nineteenth centnry, nnd
take it keep step with the march
f intellectual achievement and the
enerous growth of men's charities
,> .1 i:l?~i i 1? " - '
uu nuviui I III J?ll IbCS. JUL18 aCCUS
ill honor his memory. He has
it his mark nVxrti his efx>ch, and
ears hence, when the people turn
Ver the bales and bundles of this
cneration's ideas, they will nud
H. W. B.M stenciled on a good
iany of them.
- The Josh Billings Papers.
UE RACCOON AND THE PETTIFOGGER,
The raccoon is a resident ov the
Jnited States of America; he cm'
grated tew this country soon after
:a discovery by Columbus, withut
a cent, and nothing but big
laws tew get a living with.
lie iz one ov them kind ov per
ons whoso hido iz worth inoro than
11 the rest ov him.
lie resides among tin. hoav)
imber, and cultivates the corn
ie'.ds and nabring garden sass foi
ustenauce, and nudorstandg hi;
tizness.
llis family Consists ov-4 wife anc
lireo children, who livo with bin
n'the inside ov a tree.
1ft can nlwu# be found at hom<
luring the day, reddy to recoivn
:alls, but bis nights arc devotet
ew looking after bis own atfaire
He dresses in soft fur, and hi
ail, {tvbiqiir ias roupd, has rings 01
t.
These rings are ov the same mo
erial that the tail iz, and arc won
>n all occasions.
During the winter ho tics him
mlf* 11 n in Q nni n
.v*? .i[y 1U ft* ft J ft* ft v* fti v/W tlllU I O UU W J
ay liia fireside.
When spring opens lie opens
md goes out to see Low the chid
ins Lav wintered.
His life iz as free from labor a
i new penny, and if it wasn't fo
the dogs and the rest ov mankind
the raccoon would find what every
body else Las lost?Leaven o
iarth. .SiiilTOVf V,r A-X
Hut the clogs tree Lira and th
men skin bim, and what thare i
left ov him, ain't worth a cuss.
Ho iz not a nntrul vngabont
like the hedgehog and the olligt
tor, but luvs to be civilized an
live among folks, but he liaz on
rice that the smartest missionnr
3n earth kan't redeem, and that i
the art ov steeling.
Ho iz second only tew the croi
in petite larceny?will steal whs
he leant eat nor Lido.
Ho will turn over a barrel o
apple, safea jfsk for the fua ov tnbu
ing the sass with his Foot, and wi
pull out tho ping out ov the mola
bis, not be k '-uso he luvs sugar ei
ny beltor than he duz yung duel
but j^at tow if tho -molasst
has got A good daub tew it.
1 hav studdiod animal deviltr
for 18 years; be kauso tho nio?
doviltry in an animal the mor
human he iz.
I can't find, by sarchlng the pa
sengor li?ttf th^tjNofdi find a coo
ob board, bnti am wfllirtgHfr
bet 10 pound ove mutton sassan
that mister coon and bte wife con
muted by stealing a ride.
I never knu a rackcoon tej
want -ennytbing long that oonl
Seat quToK. ^ *
Enuyboddy who baa ever lool
yd a coon right square in the fac
will bet yu a dollar that be h
dead beat, or under five hujjdre
dollar bonds not tew go into tb
bijaipess t'er tfca wt ninety dey<
I Lav had tame coona b
tO*;<fc?ar**to ?ro a*nr
taine as a child if yu take thei
I'onne enufl, but 1 kant advise ei
nyboady to oultivate coons; the
urant as mutch looking after ax
t>lind rould on a tow-path, nn
there a^nt 'etWytbhneprofit in tliec
iban thai* iz in a stock dividend o
the Erie Railroad, ?tt
I never was out ov a pet anion
lincte I kanromomW till now, Ihl
I hav cone oq$ ov the trifle forever;
lately I diskovered that it
was a good deal like making a
whi8sel out of a cat'8 tail, ruining
a comfortable tale, and. reaping a
.kursid mean whiseel.
Rackcoons live tew be aikty.five
years old if they miss the goc ety
ov men and dogs cnuff; but there
aint but few ov them die oV old
age. The Northwestern Fur Company
are the grate undertakers of
the coon family.
I feel sorry for coons, for with a
trifle more brains tkoy wouldnaake
respectable pettifoggers befire a
jnstis ov the pcaco; bat even this
would not 6avo them from final
perdishtin.
Nafu-e doVt make enny mistakes
after all; she bits the bull
right in the eye every time. When
she wants a rackcoon with rings
on his tail sho makes him, and
V,r)|A \Vfl IIfa a nnH!fni??n? el.?
nnoii "??
knows how tow make him without
spileing a g0**1 uovnPettifoggers,
no doubt, have a
! destiny toiV fill, and they may en
able a justiss ov the peace, in a
cloudy day, tew know a good deal
less ov the law than he otherwise
s would; still for all this, if I was
. oMiged tew prav for one or the
. other, I think now I should say,
. give us a little more coon and a
t good deal less pettifogger.
If the rackcoon would only give
his whole attenshun to politics thai*
i ain't but few can beat him. lie
is at home on the stump ; and menrl
ny on us old coons kan rekolcckt
. how, in 184:0, with nothing but a
. hard ceder diet, he &went the
5 country from north to south pole
like a cargo ov epsom salts.
1 *
, "The Harp of a Thousand Strings."
The "Editors Drawer,n of the
J August Harper, republishes the
6 famous old sermon?" Ho played
I on a harp of a thousand strings?"
i. which is certainly good enough to
b he reprinted at least once overt
i five or ten years, and so we iun,
tate the example of Harper :
H SliKMOX.
ii *5a\y O T m
I may say to you, my brother
ing, that I urn not an educated
l* man, an' I ain not one o' them that
II blccves education is necessary for
I a Gospel minister, fur I bleeve the
'? Lord edccatos his preac' era just
as lie wants 'em to he educated;
an' although I say it, that I oughtn't
z to say it, yet in the State of Ind'i
' artnv, whar 1 live, thar's no man
' as gits a bigger congregation nor
what I gits.
II Thar may be some here to-day,
my brethering, as don't know what
9 persuasion I am uv. Well, I may
* say to you my brethering, that I
am a Hard shell Haptist. Thar's
> some tolks as don't like Hard shell
Haptist; but I'd rather have a
hard shell as no shell at all. You
A -
~ see mo bore to day my bretkering,
v drest up in fine close; you mout
z think 1 was proud, but I am not
proud, bl ethering ; an* although I
x nave been a proacl.er uv tho goapel
for twenty years, an' although
I'm.oapting uv a flat boat that lies
*> at your landing, I'ift not proud,
,j my bretU^ing.
Tin pot gwine to tell yon edooaot^
hj tvlmr my tex may be found ;
j1" suftico it ter say it's in the leds of
the Bible,-an* you'll find it 601110whar
'tween the fust chapter of
tho book of Generations an' the last
y chapter of the Revolutions ; an' it
"e you 11 go an' sarch the Scriptures
o you'll not only find my tex thar,
lint a groat raenny other texc$ as
s- will do you good to read ; an' my
0 tex whon you skill find it, you
w skill find it to read thus:
;? 14 And he played on a harp nv a
thousand strings?spirits Of jnst
men mado perfect."
LV My tex, my brothcflng, leads
me to speak of spent?. Now tliar's
a great many kinds of spirits in
C? tho world. Tn the fnflt vilnrn tlmr'a
e tlio spirits as some folks calls
n ghosts; theu thar's the speritg uv
d turpingtime; and thar's the sperits
e as some folks c dit lienor, and I'vo
I got as good a artikel uv theui kind
y ?v ^^Atas evcr
jf was fetched aowii tbo Mississippi
n riverj bnfr thar'a a great mgny
1. other kinds uv spirits, lor'the text
y 6aysj * lie played on a harp n?
a a tA<?M*f.and strings?sperits nv
d just men made perfeck."
n But HI tell you nv the kind uv
n sperits as is mcnt In the tex?it's
Jire. That is the kind uv sperits
d as U ment in the tex, my brotherif
J ing. Wow, thar's a great many
- ??u '
kinds of fire in. the first place,
tbar's the common sort uV fire you
light a pipe of cigar whh; an' then
tliar's Camfire; fire before you're
ready to fall back; an' metiey. other
kinds of fire; for the tex any* ? "He
played on a harp nv a #/<os?-8ond
strings?e per its nv just then made
perfeck." . .
But I'll tell you the kind of fird
as It meant in the tex, my brethering?it's
hell fire ! an' that's the
kind of fire at many of you'll come
to ef yon dort't dd better ho whit
you've bin doin'?for " He played
on a harp n v a thou sand storings
?sperits of just meh madb per*
Now the different sorts nv fire
in the world may be likened unto
(he different persuasions in the
woild. In the fust place we hare
the " Piscopalians," an' they're li
high-sailin' an' a high-falntin' set,
and thev may bo likened unto a
turkey buzzard that flies up intd
the air, and lie goes up and tip till
he looks no bigger than yottr fincrcr-nail,
an' the fust thing you
know ho cum down an' down, an'
is a fillin' himself on the karkiss
- J J1 * ? *!! J - 1
uv a ueau noss op me 8iae nv me
road and " He played on a harp,
uv a thou sand strings?sperits of
just men made perfect.'
And then tliar's the Methodic,
an' they may be likened nnto to a
squirrel runnin' up a tree; for the
Methodis believes in gwine on
from ono degree uv grace to anutlier,
an' finally on to perfeckshun;
an' tho squirrel goes up an' up,
an' he jumps from lim' to lim', an'
branch to branch, an' tho fust
iking you know he falls, an' down
lie comes, jic-rflummex ; an' that's
like the Methodis for they is allers'
fallin' from grace?ah 1 Aud " Ho
played on a harp of a thou-sand
strings?sperits of unjust men
made perfeck."
And then, my brethring, thar's
the Baptist?ah !?and they have
bin likened unto a possum on a
sinnnon-trce ; an' the thunders may
roll, an' the airth may quake, but
that possum cling thar still?ah !
An' you may shake one foot loose,
but tother's thar\ an' you may
6hake all his feet loose, buthe laps
his tail around the lim', and' ho
clings forever : for u He played oil
a harp uv a Mow 6and strings?
sperits of just men made perfeck."
?-?i tm'* ?
KoOPMANSCIIAr's Pro Ta il3 ?
This individual proposes to furnish
the West with swarms of pig
tails on the following scale >
"This total cost of importation
of Chinese to New Orleans from
Dllina in nmlrt f\int-rn/?la fn
bo made tor five years. Wages,
eight dollars in gold or ten in currency,
tor good field hands; fifteen
dollars in gold for railroad
hands; advances made to thern iif
China, to be deducted in monthly
installments, two suits of clothing
per year. Each laborer's contia?.ts
arc to be made for not Ipss than
five years. laborers to work
twenty-si* da}*s per month; also'
to have one or two' holidays during
the commencement of their
now year in March.
English biblioal critics are debating
whether the glass referred
to by St. Paul, through which his,
hearers saw darkly, was 41 it Sort of
semi-translucent slag; or one of
our artificial crystals," or a mirror i
whether it was a glass to be Ibokcd
through or only into. Tho , latter
view is favored by Archbishop
Trench.
A gentlkman returning home ri
few evening since, was asked what
was the news from town. O, nothing
much, only 44 theMetbodistd in
Massachusetts had licensed a lady
to preach." tJpon which the lady
replied that 41 the Confederates had
killed out the men closer than 1
thought*
A tRAVKi.Ktt stopped at An Inn In
a neighboring village, and fiuding
the landlord and landlady fighting
cried out: "Hallo who kecna
this house ?" The wife replica j
"That's just what wo ato trying to
decide."
>" Pa, what is the use of giving
onr pigs s o much milk I" " t>o
that they may mnko hogfi oftbcnt'
selves, darling,11
Wha* are too wtitlhtf snch a
big hand for, rat!" " Why you
see my grandmother is dafo, and t
am writing a kwd letter to her."