Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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' ^7 * 5 A- PO^IJLAR -EVEIISTT?. la $ragr$sa, tk Rights 4 ify ???th, and Ik gifluiion nf tSseful ^itiotcl^gt among all glasses of lulling $ftqw. -?-^-7--- - - , .-. - ' ' VOLUME VI. GREENVILLE, SOUTH CAROLINA, THURSDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 29. 1869. : NUMBER a THE SOUTHERN ENTERPRISE * 3P**e*4 ?*?r Unmihg. bf i PRICE & MM UN KIN. FHOPRLBTOR8. Wm. P. Pride, < - 4 4 t 0. It. McJunkin. ^ * Ye**' ^ *aTan* } if dClaygd "I Bate Alwaja Covered Mother." The following incident baa been Made the theme ef the beautifal eong wbleh I* anbjolned, from the pen of IM po?t Webb : "A young lady bad Ukea the Mb core of hwf mother durtug o long end pain< * ful Ulnese, After her mother's death she performed the lost duties previous to interment with mechanics) precision end without shedding n teer. Iler first wrords were spoken et the grave, when the sexton hod roisod his spede to throw earth Upon the cofln. ." Wnjr," cried Katie, arresting his arm and shower- | ing st lapful of dowers into the grave, " I always covered mother up, end she.osed to say t did U so gently." There Were few on the ground hut Wept, r here alWays covered mother Binor the pain onme to her brow } And she said I did it gently? 4 t , None else shall do it now. . 1 & I hare always smoothed her plUoufr .J < And drawn the car tain fold: And I'll not forget thoe now, mother, 'r'; When thy Umbo are nil so cold. t(< 'Neeth the willows, doop and narrow, . - Thejr ]ura made thy bod, I know, .. Bnt they shall not soil thy roboo, mother, With the damp eartb-moald below. ?00,1'ro plucked some wild flowers, mother, And 111 strew thorn on thy breast; Jtnt tbs bads shall fall so gently That they may Hot break thy rest. ll'd bare brought the brighter flowers, mother, , Bat the rose* fled with June, And Um dslsios and anemone* Went with -the sweet May moon. Bnt (b* bnds fell from the stem, mother, To b* osnght by bMds on high? Now they Wwom in God'* garden; Pal* UHoe of the sky. And 'lis thn* with soul* like thine, mother, For the;? ~= flrom Hfe to lor*; And th*y leave this dark earth-garden For the golden walk* hbore. <81, the sweet star-lilies Blossom Where * hand May plaek tbsm down, " Or Fd Wears, to grace thy brow, mother, A purer, fairer crown. But the asfeW vings are free, mother, And you can wander there,' Where the flowers are blooming ever, With a fragrance like to prayer. How the counterpart* |? spread, mother, ' You 11 wake t^ morning light? Qod's hand has drawn the curtain, 8a, mother sweet, good-night! y? wn?? I Dmnrstic Itart). From the Hew Y?rk Mercury. ( j -r HOME MABE^ATTRACTIVE. " Are you going to the Hall this evening t" asked Mr. Johnson of bis partner, as they ware l*ritg the store. 'W-" " What la going ear "Political lectures. Will you gof^ Nov I believe not," answcre<??^ffl?iUon.-> " I bad rather stay at home, with a warm fire, a cheerful wife, and a good book, than go to all the political leotaree in Christendom." *80 would I," returned Johnson, " bad 1 a home tike your*; hut it Is not to pleasant to ait in the house all the evening, with wife scolding, baby erylng, children quarreling, and the whole house upside down from top to bottom, I don't see how it is that your wife manages so mush better than mine. I am sure Emily has every* thing she wants. She keeps two girls, and your wife has but one; yet your house is always in order, your children well behaved, your wife good natored, and everything as it should be. I dont wonder you lore to stay at homo. Were I in your pUoe, I ebould be perfectly happy; but, qh.dear?'" f " Come, come, Johnson, cheer up j things are not so bed, but Ibet they might be worse. Come end speed the evening with us, instead of going te the Hell.* "Thank you; perhaps 1 wiU. But here you ere at home. Good night.* As Mr. Wilson entered his pleasant sitting ? V. ?- -.1 l... LL. _!/. -L. J. VI. eaey eh air nwrw the dre; while hta el-iest child, a Uu)e girl of t|u, handed him the paper. But reading wae altogether out of the queatioa; for baby waa ready for a epree with papa, and UWgy must Mtow htm bis new primer ( and Maggie hsd won th? tn?d?l at school, and, of course, papa moat hear all elwut It. Bo, laying down the paper, Mr. Wiltoft gathered hie little one* about him, god, after bestowing a kUe upon eogk one, hellstened to Maggia'a aeeount of her program at school, and hoard Qeergy read in hia now primer; while baby buried hia tiny hand* ia papa's bushy whiskers, snUI Mrs. Wilson call e**em to sapper. After supper had been oleared away, and the little ones had gone to t'.iep, Mr. Wilson drew his ehair nearer to his pri/tti w?*h-sUn,i\ end reai the paper to l.rrj, wM)e she **?<!. panning occasionally to eomrk4 > ^ . ,, M1 aaHe4 ope* Ifra. to-dey,"said his wife, after the pa pee had haea laid aside, ?f we* perfectly astonished I# pee how she had changed 8be Vf grovit **>d thin; end she does not gains at nil bappf. Bbe urged ma to rtay t l*ifc I mid, that t never ?pc-nt en evenifig away from home unleee you were with me. 8b? eighed, end answered, that she hardly Vr.ew what H ?n to spend An evening with her husband, and where ho passes them she never knew. Is be really dissipated. George1* And Mrs. Wilson looked inquiringly into her husband's face. " Not very, Jenny," he answered (and he related whet -Mr. Johnson bed said on their way hone.) 5* He thinks yon one of the best) women living ; and be la dot alone In his opinion only T think you are jUet the very best,* And Mr. Wilson drew bis wife toward hhn, and kissed her fondly, "That Is, beeatise I have ao good n husband,*' returned bia wife. But, really, I wish something wwuiu u? uvn? to maae tuair uvea happier?I pity them so rauhhA When Mr. Johnson entered bia home that even* log n far different scene awaited him. His wife, dressed In her morning wrapper, wai rocking the cradle, while a child sat "on the floor crying loudly. A stern " hush f from Ills father ?ileno<-d him, and, aftar looking all round the room, and seeing no preparations for supper, he Inquired, in a fretful too*, if it would ever be ready. A short "y?P from his wife was the only answer he received. Bo, taking up s paper, he set down and commenced reading; hot Freddy began crying again, and, woke the baby, who mingled hie voice with his brother?which the Weary mother vainly endeavored to stop by rocking the cradle faster r.nd harder, at the same time scolding st Freddy. - r "Good Heavens! was there ever such a home I" exclaimed Johnson, throwing down his paper; end, going to the cradle, he took the little one in his arms, and toon succeeded in quieting him , again. Ia the meanwhile, tiia wife had hurried with supper, and the two eat down to their cheerless meal. "Are you sick, Emily,* asked Iff. Johnson, as Ait wife refuted everything, and eat lacuiing her 'need disconsolately, upon her hand. " No, bat I am very tired," ehe answered. And then followed a long and tedious account of her various troubles with children and servants ending with n fit of tears. Now if this had only happened occasionally, Mr. Johnson could have borne it very well, but it was the same nearly every aight, and, as he was not in a very pleasant mood, it moved him exceedingly.? Pushing back his almost uu tasted supper, he said : < " I don't mi why you do not got along boiler. There U Mr*. Wilaon, who never has any each trouble. I with you would ask her to thow you how to manage." " Mr*. Wilaon I" exclaimed hi* wife, Istpitlefcl1}. "You are always holding her up to me aa a model. It la m pity yon didn't marry her.? We might all have been better off." \ " I wieh I had,** muttered Jolinaon, a* he aroee from the table, and, taking hi* hat, left the house, Mr*. Johoeon left the table; and, throwing her? self upon a lounge, she wept bitterly. Hitherto, her husband had borne patiently with all her grumbling and faultfinding; and never bofore had he spoken as though he regretted his marriage with her. Site thought of his love for her, of the many little acts of kindness he had shown her; and she rememtiered how she had repaid them with eareless indifference to his comfort, and neglect toward their children. Bhc determined that henceforth ha should have no reason to envy Mr. Wilson, his wife and happiness. After Johnson left the bouse, b* felt but little inclination to visit his partner, a sight of whose I..M.V k... ? ? 11 1- I' TfJ ???"i unij renuer mm suil mors discontented with hU own life ; so he Went to the town hell end listened to apeeuheft from some of the ablest political speakers of the day. It was very late when he returned homo, end he found the liouee perfectly quiet, end his wife asleep.? As he stood beside her, he thought of the time when he bed won her from her ohilJbood'e home end taken her to a new one amid strangers.-** He remembered, with sorrow, every Unkind Word he bad ever spoken to her, and, betiding over her, he kiesed her fondly | but so deep was her slumber, that It did not disturb her. The next morning, much to hit surprise, the ohildfen were all dressed and at the table, and be was mat by his wife, dreesed la a neat robe, who bade him good morning, as they took their piaee at.the table, tt was like a dream | everything was so strange. Tito* children WeTs quiet, an?l his wife Wee ploasaM and agreeable | and he lingered at the table much longer than was his custom. At length he arose, and, putting ou his coat, said t "lam going to the city, Emily, and shall not bf back before the day after to-morrow. Is .there oni tUlwiv Bull ""J M Nothing at all,* answered hU wife. "Cotne back a* soon m possible." y "111 do that willing)/," he replied, as he har* ried a ./my. Oh t how the yonng wife longed to tell him of her determination to render hie home the meet pleasant place In all the world to him, to ask him to forgive her past ?rrgp, and to bear patiently with Iter faults; but site had resolved to wait until she had made the trial; sWshe simply bade htm good-bye, and after lie had goife, she busied herself with little household duties which she had hitherto sadly neglected. That mPia?rnfinn whilst Mm Wilitr.n Via in her little parlor, a visitor was announced, and, to her surprise, it pnMcd to be lira Johnson, who, M she laid aside her bonnet and shawl, sold 1 " I suppose you hardly expected me to return yoqr call so soon, but I bars come to haea a confldential talk with you ; so lake your sewing again, and do not let mo Interrupt yon In anything." ^ "I eonfeaa I am eomawhat surprisad, ftt none lb* tanaJl(#?*?d," replied Mm. Wilson, after she returned hef eewlng. After the waalher, fashions, etc., had bean d)a? eiteied, Kmilyaaldi ^ * r^r:- h _ Iriteatif, f ttn( your ftdtiM About botu?kHping. I have tried to do m w?H a* I knew bow ; but somehow, nothing teems to go right with me. My ehlldrea are troublesome aad ttnruly, ??d my servants are, In fact, my masters, for they never pretend to do as I tell tliem. t have tried changiog, but without success. Allea seldom stays at home with me, and It worries me to have.him spend all his evenings down town.? He thinks you a model housekeeper, and Is always holding you up as An aaampla; nod tben ( get out of patience, and speak angrily, though 1 am always so sorry for it afterwards?oh, dear I I wleh 1 had never married 1" Mtx Wilson pitied her sincerely, for she well knew that all Kmlly had mid was true, and she ?v mi pviiic ume, trying to tninK or tome way in which she might help her. At length, sho said: " Emily, if I speak plainly you must not bo offended; you know you ask me for adviee. I will octnmenco with yoQr management oC your rtiUdren. Yesterday, while I was at your house, Freddy, contrary to your orders, oommenced playing with your work-box, and in doing so, upset it, thereby causing you considerable trouble. Acting on the lmpnlee of the moment, you atruck him a severe blow, whieb, so far from mending the matter, only made it worse, for the little fellow commenced crying, which irritated you still worse, aud the blow was followed by many others, accompanied with a harsh command to be quiet or you would tell hit father. Again, when Ellen came in ana asked iu visit one of her schoolmates, you refused her, at the same time telling her to sit down, and help you with your sewing. She did not feel Inclined to obey you, however, and after considerable coaxing, she at length gained the desired permission, and off ehe ran, highly elated with her success. In this way, you effectually destroy all your children's love for you, aud at tha same lime lose your control over them. I make it a rule never to punish my ehildren for any offence, until whatever ill-humor and vexation it has caused me has entirely passed away. I calmly reason with them ?*?bow them that they have grieved, not angerad me, scJ^hen punish them aa I think beat. I never allow them to think that I have in any way loet my control over them, by threatening thcnl with a puniahment from their father, and when I have once denied them anything, no amount of coaxing can induce me to break my Word. Thla they well know { consequently, the}* never attempt lU t aaaure you, Emily, they do not love me any the less for it. With regard to your aervanta | It la c general complaint, that good aervanta are ao hard to get. I think thet good miatreesea are much mora rare than good servants. I keep but ob? girl, and ahe la the second one I have had since my marriage, while you have bad no lees than a d07.cn." " Say two doat-n, and you will be neater right" "Well, then, soy two do son,w returned Jenny, smiling, " and yet you complain that you cannot get a good girl, t spend at least two hours in my kitchen every morning, and Ann never thinks of going contrary to my order* When site first eame to roe, she #as very different from what she la now) however, she was hobeet and industrious, and with careful training and firm discipline, aided by her own good natnre and honest endeavors, 1 have succeeded in making her what yob so justly call her, a good domestic. I am afraid 1 shall weary you by talking so long, and indeed, I find that, to far from giving you any advice, I have been talking about myself; however, I have given you my method, and I believe, were you to try it, you would have less trouble." That is just what I wanted to know ; t Me where my errors lie, and I mean to try and avoid them, But you have not told me how you tnnnage to do all your sewing I can scarcely find time to sew a Hitch; and when I do, I generally find my work-box turned upeide down, the con. tents scattered everywhere, and by the time I can get them all together, ready to commence work, t have to attend to something else. I put oui nearly an my tewing, ana a is a greater expense than I feel willing td afford these bard times. 1 want to be as economical oS possible.'' "80 do I," responded Jenny! "And fat tliis reason I endeavor to do As muck of my own work OjtJwan. Td the drat place, we breakfrst At seven; after Which, 1 spend about two hours in tb? kitchen, giving Ann directions for ike day. I examine my closets ahd pantries, for girls srs apt to stow away dirty dishes, and that is something I do not allow, Than t practice for an hour or two. for I cannot afford to give up my tansic. The rest of the <Ly t devote to SsWing. I do not allow the children to play -with my work-box ; consequently, I hwe no lime in banting up thimble, scissors, cotton, etc. Order, perseverance, and patienos, are virtues I try to exercise ; and 1 find they help ma very much. I keep some Work constantly OU tla'nd, so that 1 need never be idle. If I have been unusually busy, and feel too tired to sew on any heavy ma* terlal, I have ready tome lighv work, upon which I can busy myself, at the same time I am resting. Bat we have talked enough upon this subject, and M George has come, we will ai^jonra to the I tea-table." Mr. WUson entered ths room, followed by the children, and after they had greeted Mrs. Johneon, Jenny led the way to supper. When Kmfcjy bade her friend good night, she said: - I shall remember and profit by what you hare told me; and Allen shall yet find that his wife Is good for something," She kept her word ; and lief husband delighted with the change which took plaee in his hoonehold, passed all his evenings st home, declaring that although Mr. Wilson had an excellent wif?? yet he thought Ids own was a little the best ? >asi s ? ? " Tmntx Is thought to ha very little ass in a man's msaning wall If ha cannot express his , msaning bv his act* V. y . JUisttllnnfous limbing. Front ihv Southern Baptist. A Drunken Father at the 6rare of Hit Child. It was mjr painful duty to perforin the fuheral services of a little boy a few Sabbaths since.? The sermon was preached In the hotise of the family, where everything indicated extreme pov erty. There was scarcely a chair owned by the fnmily, and tiie little corpse was laid ont In ita winding-sheet upon a part of a goods box.? When the sorrow smitten mother impressed the lost hiss upon the cold cheek of her little boy* every heart was touched with sympathy?every eye was bedewed with team But there was another circumstance which ; moved more deeply the beholders than the manifestation of sincere grief or the evidences of squalid poverty. It wna the conduct of a drtink en father over the remains of Ms own son.? When the mother woe wiping the death-sweat from the brow of her child, and watching Ita lost gasping, the husband nod father threatened to beat her If she did not Icnve the child and get hit jug of liquor! Ilia conduct need not be described, for it was en oh as horrified every one present. Shameful in the extreme was his eonduct at the grave! He thanked God that the child was dead, and said that if they did not give him liquor, some more would be put out of the way. Ifever did we expect to witness ouch a spectacle, and may God spare us from ever again beholding sneh a painful scene. What produced this poverty and shameful conduct! Perhaps it would be wise not to mention, lest we should startle some who call tlietmelves Christians, yet habitually sell and drink the article. Oh, how loving, tender, Christ-like the nrart 01 mm wno, Knowingly ana constantly, furnishes liquor to men productive of sueh awful result*. Will not the money thus obtained appear stained with blood f We would like to inquire of the ministers of the Ooepel if they epcak out boldly the trntheof God's Word in referenoe to tliia awful vice of Intemperance ? Do they urge their brethren to come to the help of the Lord against the mighty to deny themselves for the good of others?-avoid the appearance of evil f Do they warm them that drunkenaeea ia one of the fruita of the flesh, and no druukard shall iuhorit the kingdom of heaven f la there not, on tl>? part of tome churches, a cowardly ahrinklng from disclpllnaring their me rubers guilty of thia viee 1 Ia not tbia vice, which erects the moot powerful barrier against the truth, too often winked at by many of our ohurchcat Some time since a deacon was passing & grocery) Slid waa requested by the owner to come in and aea a beautiful rooking-chair he had. lie went in and saw the man astride of a barrel of whisky, with a glaaa of grog in Ills hand, rocking from aide to side- " Isn't this a nice rookingchair T" " Robert," replied the deacon, " it has rocked many souls to hell, and be warned lest it rock yon into the same place," " What do you think," he continued, ** should be done with a man who woold sell a jng of liquor to a poor man whosa familv waa starvincr. and reouircd In be supported by their neighbor* f ble ought to be patLUM." "Thou art the man," was the tern reply of the deacon, lie then informed him of the case. " But & strong-minded Man would not drink so as to allow his family to suffer." " Your brother, when ho settled here, was a strong-minded man, yet he hal been reduced to poverty by drinking." " Yes," and corstng the tnan who sold him liqhOr, he said i "May his arm stiffen every time he stretches it forth to draw liquor for my brother. "You do the same j thine own lips shall condemn thee.'* Intoxicating liquor shatters the Constitution, Withers tho affections, impairs the mind, wrecks the character and destroys the soul. It is the devil's priucipal agent in cursing earth and peopling helh They that use and sell it, know those obvious and common results They arc, therefore, by an admitted principle of the Bible, responsible for its effects Every roan is rlfl^ensiMa tn tliiA f.ic Ike nvila wIiIaK remit fmm liii tM. dtffrme* to the welfare of others, llow can a disciple of Jestts, who professes to love hie neighbor as himself, to be pore from the blood of all men, soil to his fellow-man that which he knows constantly produces disease, poverty, wretchedness, death T BCRIlTOlt. To tub Bois.?Kever marry ft girl who is fond of being always In the street?who is fond of going to the theatro-^who has a jeweled hand and an etnpty head?who will see her mother work nod toil while she lies in bed and reads novels or feigns siekness-^who is ashamed to own her toother because she dresses plain-?nevef learned grammar, or was accustomed to the eti' quctte of the drawingroom-"who is always complaining that she cannot get enough money to drees lik<tHiw So and-So, or to go to parties like Such a-one?who wears iter shoes slipshodi or has a hole in her stockings and ia too lazy to rttend It, Should yoti get such a one, depend upon it, you will have a dirty, untidy, miserable homa sikI life of it. But the kind, affectionate, liuy girl, wno ncips ner moiner, who is aiwnyi retdy unit anxious to accommodate Her mother, father*, brothers and sisters*?who is hind to th< poor? who dresses neatly and aoeordlng to hei means?who is always sheerful and fond of ae commodatlng others?if you can get sueh a trea sure, your home will be a paradise. Boys, d< you hear that I * lai ?- y Ma that gives good advice, builds with on. hand ; he that give* go?*' counsel and examolr ^"' ?is with kotli; but he give# good admc nition and bad tgawple, bullae with one ban and pulls down with the other.?Jfaeon, ^sssssBBs^smsssmssBsssssssem Pamom Baowsiow axd Ha Com*.?Amoiif the notab'es present at the hu nae meeting in Lynchburg, Ve., called to express the opinion of the people of that section in relation to the Harper's Terry raid, was the well known Parson Browolow. liis remarks on the occneton were characteristic. A reporter, ia noticing the speech, ays it was "intensely southern," and represents the parson as saying - he would rather be with the Sonth in Pandemonium, than with the Abolitionieta in Heaven." Tl?e parson also remarked that he intended to give hie family Instructions not to bnry bim fn a ynnkee coffin ; hut if, in ease of an emergency, they should be forced to do so, that they must leave both cuds open, so that when the devil or Abolitionists came in at one end he could crawl out at the other. Ths Gtoan axd rn? Giuls.?He who doth not smoke has either known no griefs, or refnseth himself consolation next to that whieh comes from Heaven. What I softer than woman T sake the vounir render. Toons man. woman teases aa well m console#. Woman makes half the sorrows which she boasts the privilege to console, it is true, while wc are young and hnndsome; but when we nre old and ugly, snubs and scolds u% On the whole, then, woman in this scale, the weed in that, Jubiter, hang out the balance and weigh them both: and if thou give the preference to woman, all 1 can say is, the next time Juno ruffllea thee, O, Jupiter, try the weed. . [ }'?t<n<7 America. UsarVLltna or B:hi>s.?'The Homestead says, until a few years ago the park at Brussels was shaded by trees of luxurinnt foliage, the brandies of which bent over the alleys and screened the promeoaders from the aun. These trees were filled with birds, whose droppings occasionally annoyed the promenaJers. For this reason the birds were banished, In a few weeks the leaves of the trees were in holes and dying, and now the branches are nearly stripped of their verdure and loaded with caterpillars, and the walks Infested with moiha Such is the effect of interfering with nature, and destroying the equipoise she has placed against the undue increase of any one of her creatures. Baibuxt was hired ns a " help" in a female boarding school, and was told to ring the first bell at hair past five in the morning. At six o'clock the pupils were required to attend prayers, but, for several mornings after Bridget com menced her labors, many were unusually tardy, giving as an excuse that " they did not hear the rising-bell." Bridget was questioned by the head of the institution as to the manner in which she discharged her duty of ringing the hell.? "SfauK, marm," she replied, "I never rings It j very hard, for fear I might wake the young la- ' die. I" ^ ^ ^ Tut vanity of the world appears In this, that a little cross will embitter great comforts. One dead fly la enough to convert a whole box of the world's moat fragrant ointment into a (tench. There are so many ingredients required to make up worldly facility?as riches, health, honor, friends, good name, and the like?that If any of these l>e wanting the whole composition is spoiled. You may as soon grasp a bundle of dreams, or take up an armful of your shadow, as fill the boundless desires of your soul with earthly enjoyment* ^ UTanKit* has no gray hairs) The flowers fnde, the heart withers, man grows old and die* the world lies down in the sepulchre of ages, but time writes no wrinkles on the brow of eternity. Eterhlty I Stupendous thought I The ever pre?? cnt, unborn | undecaylng nud Undying?the endless eheia, encompassing the life of Ood?the golden thread entwining the destinies of the universe. EnbOAtiox te a companion which po misfortune Can depress?no crime can destroy?no enemy can alienate?no despotism enslave. At home, a friend?abroad, an introduction??irt solitude, a solace?and in sooicty, an ornament. It chastens vlce-'-it guide* virtue-?*it gives at once, grace and government to g?nia?~*witli0iil it, what i< Man T A splendid slave**1* reasoning savage I " Yn," said a kind mother, of one of otlf city Churches, helping her little son to learn hie Sunday school lesson, " Culn Was a fugitive nnd a vagabond on the earth ; he was so bad that he thought every man would slay hint. Where conld wicked Cain go to?" " Whyi mother,"replied thoughtful Johnny, " Cain could have gone to Baltimore.'1 Gtvn a wise man health, and he will give himself everything else. Ax advertisement in a provincial paper begins thust "To let forever, or longer, if required." " Wttfia* son are you, my little boy I" " I aih't nobody's son ; I'm Urt Thompson's nephew, sir." > " Littlk boV, Why did the people throw stones at Stephen t" " Coe, sir, I spose tliey wanted to i hit him." Th* road ambition travels U too narrow lot friendship, too crooked for love, too rugged foi honesty, and too dark for science. ' " Ur to snuff" is now rendered, " Elevated te an equal capacity with the titillating particlesol 1 the tobacco plant." " Mme, what have you dtihe to he ashamed of 'f that yon hlnsh sot" "Sir, what have the rosi and the strawberries and the peaches done thai they blush so t* 3 Evkst young man should live temperately?g< to church?attend to his own aff*trs-"-foto ai the good girls?marry one of them?live like i m*", ana die like a Christian. ^ A mobal debating society " oiit West " it en h gagttd in a discussion on the follow ilig tjpeslion !! If li hdstiand dcs< fl? j?i* wife, which \* '/ue mo^ abandoned, the inao oft the wpmaq 7 k i Ifatmirisfa <?>tig. IUid to Picas*?lltts fa * but man, a man of boatnaoa taet; aod when Pitta goaa into a ?tore to trade, be always get) the lowest aaah price ; and be says: *' Well. I'll look about, and if I don't find anything that suits me better. 111 call and take this" Pitta, like all fast men, is partial to women, and young ones in particular. Now, quite lately Pitts Mid to himself: " I am gettin' rather ioiig in years, and gness I'll get married." Ills business qualities wouldn't let him walr I so off he travels, and calling upon n lady friend, opened the conversation by remarking tlmt he would like to know what site thought nbout his ! > lunrnviL ' Oh, Mr. PitU, that is ?n affair In which I am not so very greatly interested, and I prefer to leave It with yourself." "But," says PitU, " you are interested, and my dear girl, will yon marry m<* V The young lady blushed very red. hesitated. I and finally, as PitU wna very Well to do in the world, and morally, financially, and politioallv of good standing in society, she accepted him.? Whereupon the matter of-fact Pitts rew|H?n-ted : " Well, well, I'll look about, and If I d*< ?'t find anybody that suiU me better than you, I'll o.. < back" Prrxn ma owk Judo*.?The following amusinjr incident, communicated by a friend in Hoxbur) , Vigli, occurrru In a school In that ?*ity: A lad, whom wo will call Peter, for the enke < of a name, playing truant from that school, and I wishing an excuse the tiext day, altered over an old note ^wliicli had been used for th?* ?aino purpose on a former occasion) by expunging the ohl date and substituting the present. The master immediately detected the trick, and In the presence of the school impressed upon him the dangerous character of such frauds. He then told Peter that he would leave him in tho aisle for half an hour to reflect upon this, and be his own judge as to the punishment due the offense. Tho half hour having elapsed, the whole setiooi was called to the " third position "?the attitude of attention?and the teacher said, " Now, sir, you yourself are the judge in this case ; what is your decision f Peter hesitated a little, then hanging his head, pronounced, in a whtuiug voice, tho following impartial verdict: "Why, as it's tho first time, I think you'd better let the poor fellow go I" A WKLL-rMMKD lover of the bottle, who had lost his way, reeled into a teetotal grocery, nnd hiccupped as follows: ' Mr. do you?keep?ii?Anything good?to tnke?here ?" " Yes," replied the temperance shopkeeper. " we keep excellent good water?the beet thing you could have." " Weill 1 know it," was the reply; "there i* no?one thing?that's done so much for navigation?as that." Witt Su* Dii* it.?The reason why that young lady printer at Cleveland attempted to shoot the young man compositor, was because the latter had remarked that " somebody would have to get another font of ' small caps' for her before long." Ah I That'* the reasoo, then, why she used the M shooting stick." " Ma. Cattain," said a soh of Erin, going on board a vessel in the port of Cork, " yon looked so much like the mate that I took you to be the cook. Will you he after lending ine the loau of yonr bfoadaxe lo saw an empty barrel of flour in two to make tny cow a hog-pent" A lawyer reading a will in a country villag*, 1 M .-II- .1 .. L-?? ? 1 - " Iuiciuuiiuiiij mcnuuiicu nein ?nu BUCceMOIt,' ttpon which a young gentleman of forty five, ru ther hard of hearing, remarked, " I>enr me. who ever heard of " hairs andselasors" being in a will before V Papa rending in bearing of an intelligent child . "The men were mustered ou the dock pivpunitory to the disembarkation." " Oh, pupa," ?si<j the child, " how funny the men must have "looked all over mustard I" "I won't denounce you," said a snuey young fellow to nn editor, " but only your subordinate; - ' I merely made a fling nt your stuff." "-Well ," ' V replied the editor, suiting the action to the \v- / "then my staff shall have a fling at you " " Gr.^ tl.aMaN,', said a tavern ! guests, at midnight " I doiu. " have talked etiouAsu ??> i?. - - ' \ ? ma in inr ro?*-i|f | I itm going to ?hut up.' A coRRtsrosor.nt. w.0 heH?.]f "Fophin." * fc, My* thai woman U Wee as good ns man. not! proves U thue hy orthography?W-nm.ii-n-~ilout>le yon, O, ?n | t> I A totJ*o itt Co'Plwa?io** one fverinij , chanced to remark?" I ?oo prophet " "True," replied a lady pfcacnt^ 'vrnfit to vonraeit or , any one el** "Ma, get down on J'onr ^ds and fci?ee? a minute, pteaae." , " H liy, ?h?t d* wth ?h?tl p?tf' f - Cause I wamt to draw a nSfrant.' " Pa, they tell ns ahout the aif ocean what . mnnr. nil] ocenn >ngryr bM s crossed to ciflan." 1 "Touvy, fny ton, what ^Mcf" "A clothes-line, ?apA.* " ^rota It, my v? . ^ j cause it atittehea from p<*1a to pol?.' k What is tli* <l!fftf?>noe between a <n _.i - k. rpo wlio has nine wnlki." * On a 6#?a cM-tlliiei iMid lh? "Okika'l ...or nrue dtft J . |,y 's. \ * ...tfij," Mid Sambo, " one of yonr o?n S t <lead i toder, too. Fraid to tall you of bof at ^ouee, for foar you couldn't lore it," + i'- ^ M ci