The southern enterprise. [volume] (Greenville, S.C.) 1854-1870, May 08, 1856, Image 4
A Scene in Market*
% Those who weut through Sixth street
market this morning, must have observer
a middle aged Dutchman leaning
against a lump-post, on the north side
oiiih' birect near r>un, wuu a oasKei
of clean looking eggs before bini. He
seemed anxious to sell o at, and constantly
kept up the cry, 'Bnre eggs,
shentieman and vomaiis, shcap, Jib cap,
aheap.' Among others he was approached
about 8 o'clock, by a neat looking
little fellow dressed in black, with
a Kossuth hat, partly covering a flowing
head of hair almost entirely grey.
His appearance indicated him to be a
sharp trader, and the idea might have
boen formed that he intended to ger
an advantage over the Dutchman in
driving a trade.
'How do you sell your eggs 3" enquired
the little mart.
'Fourteen cent a tozcnp replied the
Dutchman.
'Fourteen cents, oh 3 Well now that
is not dear if they are all good eggs *
'Goot 1 exclaimed the Dutchman
rather indignantly, 'I sells not' in but
bure eggs. Der is 'nt a pad egg in
all dera vats in the basket.'
'Not a hod egg, said the lit'lo man.
'Now my good sir, if I was convinced
of that, I would instantly purcliasthe
entire lot nt vour own .?
Good eggs is what I want, and I will
not stop at a cent or two a dozen.'
'Slmst look at that, mine frien,' said
t tie egg dealer, as with a sort of pride
he picked up one of the eggs, and
shading it with his hand, hood it between
hia eye and the sun. 'Clear as
vaaser mit a veil buckot, eh V
The little man took the egg and holding
it in the same poeition, declared it
was rotten.
The Dutchman examined it again,
* and tlien reiterated his assertion, when
to settle the dispute it was agreed to
break the egg. The little man took
out his knife, and breaking open one
cud of the shell, lo! a feathered head
came peeping through tlie aperture.?
The Dutouman started back with affright,
while a 6hout of laughter arose
from the mixed crowd which had gathered
around.
'I thought that fellow's eggs was'nt
good,' exclaimed one.
'Arrah! an'tis chickens he's sell in'
an' not eggs' chiined in an Irishman,
with u flmue.
'La! me, I was just u gum1 to bny
some of them eggs,' exclaimed an old
lady, as she put on her specs, 4ind exaimcd
the bird.
I 4 .. J -1 ! -*
-Ana me aarmig tiling is alive,'said
a young lady, as the little man in black
caught the unbatched chicken by the
bill and drew it out.
The Dutchman was too much struck
with wonderment to heed the uumer
ons jeers which came from the crowd.
With Ids hands crammed in his breeches
pockets, and his eves fixed on the
little man, lie aeemecf as transfixed as
& statue.
'Now, my friend,' said the little
man at last-, 'you tee yon can't deceive
me with yonr eggs, if i hey were real ly
good, I would have purchased
them; but as it is, I can only take the
one I have broken open. The chicken
is worth something?what do you
charge me fi r the eggs?'
'Two cent,' replica the Dutchman,
with a heavy sigh.
'Cheap?1 will pa^' you.' said the
little mau, running his hand into his
pocket. 'But stop?may-he I cant get
money out of another egg.
Picking a second egg out of the basket,
he broke it opon, and, to the great
amazement of the now very large
crowd around him, and to thestujiotaction
of tho owner ot the eggs, hauled
forth from it a one dolar oal.
i ? i. n - .M i * -? *
j\ii i sum ue, witu period complacency,
'this is better than tiic chicken.
I will try another/
He reached down and was about to
pick up the third egg, when the Dutchmail
seized his basket, and covering it
with his body, shouted?
'Go way niit ine you?you syilr all
vig good eggs ni it your tarn foot ting#.*
Laughingly the little tnati tossed him
a half dime to pay for the two eggs he
had used, and pnshiug his way through!
tho crowd, made off. The eves of all
followed bin, for more than one
thought hetburefy had some connection
' ' with the Master of the Infernal ltogio
8. It afterward turned out, how
ever, that ho was Signor Blitz, the
world renowned Magician, and that he
I - was merely amusingmm self with some
of his inimitable tricks. Learning
this fact. Mvnheer said hi>miorlO. nnmu
again if ho would only put. ddlnr bill#,
iuatead of unbatchod chicken#, into hw
A CoxoftsroNDKNt of the WUcomin
Democrat pay a Chicago the following
compliment: "Aleu are gittiiig rich
hotter, and bring higher, and doing
nrjofe bueinese, and drinking more, and
gohjg to the devil generally by aeliorter
road) in Chj^gu than in any place
m
f .
.
ingr effect.
Judge.?Bring the prisoner into
court.
Pete,?Ilorfel^im, bound to blaze,
as the spirit* w Turpintine said when
he was all ft-fire.
We will take a little of the fire out
of vou. Wow do you live i W*
I ain't particular^ as the ovster, was,
when they naked hint it he'tt be roasted
or fried.
We don't want to hear what the oyster
said, or the spirits of turpintine
either, What do you follow!
Anything that comes in my way,
as the locomotive said when he run
over a little nigger.
Don't cure anything aboutthe locomotive.
"What is your business!
That's various, as the cat said when
she stole the chicken off of the table.
That comes nearer to the line, Isup'
pose. - r^'-V. ' ? - - .
; Altogether fjri mv line, as the rope
said when it was clioaking the pirate, j
If 1 hear ftny more absurd com pari-j
sons, I will give you twelve months.
I'm done, as the beefstako said to
the cook. i
Now, sir, you punishment shall de- ;
pend ou the shortness and correctness J
of your answers. I suppose you live '
by going around the docks. <
No, sir, I can't go around docks '
without a boat, and 1 ain't got uone. I
Answer me, sir. Ilow do you get I
your bread ?
| ftf tlwv l\ol-nrA- nl\A r/irMM. I 1
i ituco w iiiv u?mvi o anu ovujv" '
times I eat tutors. <
No more of your stupid nonsense.? <
flow do you support vonself?
Sometimes ou my legs, and some
limes on a Cheer, (chair.)
ilu\v do you keep yourself alive?
liy breathing, sir.
1 order you to answer this question
correctly. lL?\v do you do?
Pretty well, I thank you, Judge.?
How do you do i
1 shall have to commit you.
Weil, you've committed yourself I
first that's some consolation. <
A Sermon as is a Sermon. <
BY DOW Jit. OF8ANFHAX0I8OO. i
This is tho hIihjkj and size of the fext ]
to my present discourse :
Whal's i>os>io!c, poicliunce iuay come? I
Wliai must be bine will bap, aliii! I
l)ut wIihi's iinpjsaible, cau'i be, l
Aud never, coiue to pass. <
My hearers?Tina is a world of possibilities,
probabilities, dead certainties I
and inijH/ssibilitiea. 801110 things are '
possible, many probable, a few tatat, 1
and now and tiien one (supposed to hej 1
impossible; yet possibilities, probaoiii- 1
ties, impossibilities and Jinan unities {
are so snarled up and tangled togeiuer, <
that to separate them without snap- 1
ping innumerable threads, repines all 1
j the ingenuity and patience that human 1
! philusophy can muster. For my part, ?
j it ties my thanking taculties all up m- >
> to a hard knot to make out wbatispos- 6
sible and what isn't. At the mar veil- <
ous feats preformed upon the uiagiie- 1
tic telegraph wire, the antics said to 1
be cut by Spirits on a visit froiuanoth- !
er world, 1 can do nothing but stand f<
still and gnpe, like a lboi at a sewing 1
1 machine. That intelligence can run 1
a race wifk Thouglit round the globe, I
and eoine about nick and tie ami thai <
wc can obtain fresh news from lienv- 1
en at any time by beckoning down its
spiritual inhabitants?engage theiu to
assist in moving our furniture; or to 1
work all day at pile driving, by lifting
up and letting drop with unseen hands 1
that all-thundering cast iron fifty-six, ,
at which a young steam boiler so unnecessarily
tugs and frets?is remark- *
able?"Worry f" Tho only difference
. between Electro-Magnetic Telegraph
, Manifestations and Spiritual mamtesj
tat ions is as far as I can 6ee, that?one
I lUSt 11: Hint 111 iiinuMiailil/i iiu tli? ntlun'
But these aro, my friend*, palpably
uemcii-urated , and the uiuro 1 cogitate
upon the mat tor, the more I wonder,
like the tadpole when hie tail dropped
otr, ft What the d?l*e going to happen
next!" First, my brethercn, of pos
bilkiea. These are the morel refuse
prdbvbilitte??uncertain as do tiintlock
muskets with damp powder in the
pan. Their v sits aro wholly unexpect- 1
udyand usually attended with wonder 1
and surprise. But let me inentioti,
my beloved, a few things which may
possibly happen: so that when they
fucenr, your astonishment may not rc'
cei vc too snddont a hoist. It is pvtuibU
that by the next arrival from the At;
autio States, we may learn that a
I Speaker to die Jlouse of Itopresenta
j Lives has been picked out of the huge
. pile.|?f rubbish there conglomerated;
land that \V libra- TWkmort*?t?- tfnrto/
NotUiirg, Abolitioi?i?t8t Hard Shells, 1
Soft Shell* Shedders, llunker*. Flunk!
efs, Flounder*, and other similar fry1
aro all chovrodred together m the pol>
hitteal cauldron. A " J
It is possible, thfltv some kind Spirit
flapper wdl infoftn us who is to be
our nr\t Pi-odilenf, and thereby
: jMM?r Uncle the t rouble and expense of
' '*4&' r v'-"jg
' ' . >r^sN . ... ;*j3$*
con-cur-ed io,.aud without an eye to
the morsel of meat attached thereto.?It
is po&sibU, that Wisdom may ^dpt
reign in our legislative Assembly?that
its members may become "wise
as (other) ??P harmless as
toads, instead of making as much mifcchief
as: so many monkeys in a printing
office. It itijxwsiblc, that plain piety
may take the place of showey pre I
tensions in some fashionable citychurches?barely
possible. It isjpoM*ble,
that a thunderbolt may knock some
of its guilding off against the toughest
of you case-hardened sinners before
another month, perhaps a week, rolls
rouud. Hy bretJieren ; we have lately
been visited by a little possibility,which,
no doubt thought "great shakes" of
itself at the time jaml I, for one, feel
somewhat inclined to flatter its vanity.
Of course, I have, reference to that
nice specimen of an earthquake that
shak a t'other morn?awoke the priest,
unshaven and unehoru?Tag, Ragnnd
Bobtail, tattered and torn?editor,
sleepy, weary, and worn?that fright- j
enod the maidens all forlorn?your ,
humble preacher "in a horn"?that i
shook the house, cracked the walls, un- J
shelved old bottles, and went it quite i
loose in the city that San Franciscans
l>uilt. Your servile preacher,? my '
hretheron, is a vory early riser, by {
brco of habit and a few fleas, general- 1
y shedding his night shirt at the first
;ock er?wt <?ti Ui? m^t niwg In
question, the little Quaker was "up
md stirring" almost as soon as myself.
IVell, who was afraid ? Not I; lor my
owlv habitation?ntmivMAd of wmwl
jotton sheeting and brown paper?was
>11 ilt upon as solid And righteous a hill
is can be found in the vicinage. Therefore
was I bold na a lion ; while the kicked
and those ot a "lower grade" i
general!took astonishing frog-leaps 1
for the Piazza, as if salvation was cen- j
tered here. No wonder that the
>minous spastn of fifteen or twenty sejonds
(a minatiire eternit}*) duration '
to vour poor frightened sinners. Poll I J
Jo you imagine an earthquake, that is
in any sort of a hurry, is going to loaf ,
tway its precious time hi that manner? |
If you do, you make a slight mistake. ;
A circle of live soconds in dimensions
is plenty large enough for any riecentuzed
earthquake to thrash about in,
tind make mischief to satisfy the most
rlevoted lover of extra excitement?
For my part, I am not willing to extend
the area of freedom a single inch
beyond it to any such ticklish phenomena.
Now, my friends, the probabilities
is that this recent terrestrial
igue-fit is but the fore-leg of some bigger
runrter, therefore, I warn you
cheating, grasping, grabbing, Mainnon-serving
Son Franciscians to bevare?
Your houses are all either
milt upon the sand, or on rotten sticks
ituck in the mud; and. as for your mo al
structures, they rest upon equally
ihaky foundations. Hi ere is a big
;hnnk ot wrath in the storehouse of
lie future for waring?and unless you
airu from the error of your ways, cease 1
vour mutual robberies, and worship j
something else in the ptaee of winy
specimen.'* and other golden images,
the probability is that the fate df Ko
rah and his host and the idolatrous
Jcddoites will bo yours. You live in ?
it volcanic country?your very natures
have become volcanic, and all the elements
nocessary to the constitution of an
elephantine earthquake are concentrated
in your midst. Beware 1 My brefberen:
what is to be be. and there
is no hucIi thing as scaring it off by soar
looks and ngly faces. . IT you are predestined
to bo hanged (as yon deserve
to be), you can never ecrve as physic
U> an earthquake. But I advise you
to imagine that no such fate as either
awaits you ; and strive so to live, be
have yourselves and employ yonr valuable
time, as to give even predestination
itself tnoh a shake, an to leave it
but ar. equivocal concern at iiie best.
As to mijxwsihililio*, my friends, I
hardly recognize any such stumpers in
this wonder working age ! Nothing
seems impossible now a days, except
to make a hoop without a hoi# in the
middle, and the discovery of some pro- 1
cess by which self-righteous mortals
can befconverted into penitent sinners
and broken down politicians into useful
members of society 1 So mote it
be! (?>? S*n Franobco' Golden Mb*.
Br Sincrrs.?the greet thing to be attended
to in prnyar, that which is the ve*y
?**ccnce of it, i? reality I Every sentence
must be in the vehicle of troth. AH falr?>'
hood i? wicked ; never i* it *o wicked *a in
prayer. The utterance of Heo. direct in tbe
face of God and truth, 1* the rery cHma* of
iniquity. As the Searcher of hearts, ha detire*
truth in the inward parte. ! U? h preeminently
*the God of Uasftht by whom actions
are Weighed,' and to whoa* *all thing* j
are naked and open/
A slanderer of the soft sex undertakes
to prove that Satan was a
whocjc name was Lacy Fir.
; "> i. ri;+v8[
p.. r- - . - ' " . .-r *\
; * if ? * '
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facts ami of news?the pick
of English information?the wit, humor and
pathos of tiro time*?the essays on life, liter- L
hture, society nnd morals, and the usual variety
of careful choosing* fioin tho wilder uea>*
of Engli-h periodical literature, criticism a j
poetry, etc. We need not remind otir rea*
tiers that we have ?U> one or two unimpaired
correspondent* in th* ftoKionuUe vjcUtt/
of Wrid York, who give us early news off ^
erV new f. at u re of stile and elegrwice iiiikh g
the lenders of the gay tvoild.
Tcuvu.?For one copy $2;for three copier,
$5?or one copy for the threo years, tb?
always in advance. Address.
ML HIllS h WILLIS, Editors and
Pr<>prir.tor*, lt.7 Falcon-sf. N. V.
K? Thc Trne Carolinian.
; OT^tlK undersigned will issue at Audcnwm *
"1. C. II., on ?t hoi'jie the first of FebI
ruary, a LITERARY and NEWS JOUR
' N AL, bearing the nhovo title.,;. It will be \J
j an i nd ope in lent paper in evety sense of the
term. It will Ka tna ni?? of" (ltd f-">**<
ville Mountaineer, and about J1K large as the
Ue and Advocate. It will be published*
at the in.precedent cully low rate of OirtRjDoblar
per an num. Persona desiring to atrV'
scribe. would do well to send in their name*
ha Aoon m potiiblc, to^olher -wjlji, tho sub cription
price, ft* wo iQiend teraijuire if in
advance, or send no paper. '-^v
JOllN V. MOORE,
Feb 14-if. Rl. and Proprietor.
! ,%
ChaiestoD WaekJ^r Standa**,^
/Tontaiks all the mailer published in jdie
j V>> Daily, together with tise local, d<
tic and foreign markets, tho pricee current,
including tho rates of sale for H?.>ck, exvhnttfe
and domestic pmcuce, tho Khippmg in porfc
the luteal telegraphic information, Ac, Ac.Ac.
The Standard i* the only morning paper
in CharleAton which issue** weekly edition. j
This edition is published evcrgmHlHEwjr
: dav iiiorntnir mid Kv iIia ?ir..nlnr?