The Abbeville banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, January 06, 1859, Image 4
PROPER SENTIMENTS WELL EXPRESSED.
Jud^o Campbell, in his charge to the
Grand Jury of tho United States Court, at
Mobile, expressed himself as follows upon
tho duties of the Government and of tho
people ill sustaining tlio laws of the country
:
" No President has ever forgotten that
solemn injunction of the Constitution,'Take
care that the laws be faithfully executed.'
Tho Judicial department of the Government
has never swerved from tho doclri"*^
it has inculcated, nor shrunk from tlio responsibilities
of their high oflico. Through
tho long series (filibustering and illegal cn
found, as deiived either to the] person eulisted
in the expedition, or to those who
hnvo directed and entrolled them ? What
a frightful waste of life, reputation and
treasure has there not been. Iii how many
instances have they not disturbed the foreign
relations of this country and embarrassed
the operations of our Government ? What I
an amount of lawlessness, social disorgani- 1
zation and crime have they not originated? 1
It does seem to me that it is the solemn ,
and sacred duty of the people of thiscOun- |
try to from indignantly upon any attempt
that may be made to violate these laws
nilliAr in Inffoi- nc Jn S
WI III own it. Xtiv; IllctllUiUe
y
in the Constitution to tho President to take j
care that the laws be faithfully executed, |
does not Qfeato a wall of sepearation be
tween him and other officers and citizens. 1
Every on9 of us who participates in the
protection and blessing of the Constitution r
is under the highest obligation in his sphere r
of duty to take care to observe faithfully ?
the laws made accord'.ig to that Constitu- a
tion. And when the President appeals to %
me or to you to give him our hearty co- 0
operation in the performance of the duties
i.ic i.;?i, ? ? ?; <?* ?
v. ...o v/jiatu, WW unilliut, Vk ILIIUUL ior- "
foiling our claims to the respect and esti- f
ination that belong to a good citizen, refuse (|
his appeal." f,
<????- e
Rules for hard Times.?1st. 6top gruin
blinj;.
n
2d. Got up two hours earlier in the morn j(
ing, and begin to do something outside c
of your regular profession.
3d. Stop grumbling.
4th. Mind your own business, and with all ^
b your might. Let o'her people alone.
5th. Stop grumbling. I,
Gth. Live within your means. Sell your
horse. Give away or kill your dog.
7Lli. Stop grumbling. ?'
8th. Smoke your cigars through an nir. ^
tight stove. Eat with morderntion and go to
bed early. a;
9th. Stop grumbling.
10th. Talk less of your own peculiar P
gifts and virtues, and more of those of your
friends and neighbors. si
lltli. Stop grumbling.
12th. Do all you can to make others hap- 5C
py. Be cheerful. Bend your neck and ^
back more frequently when you pass
those outside of " select circles." Fulfil ai
your promise. Pay your debts. Be yourself
all you would see in others.' Bo a ^
good man?a true christain, ar.d then you
cannot help to stop grumbling.
fo
Wasn't I there Too.?At a recent elec- I*
tion in this State, a lad presented himself
at the poll to claim the benefit of the eli*c ?
live franchise. a(
Feeling a deep interest in a favorite can- ci
did ate, the father, who was evidently upposed
to the boy's preference, stood at the |jV
ballot-box and challendged his right to vote, jj,
011 the ground of his not being of age. tli
The young man declared that he was twen- tli
ty one years old, that he know it, and insis- OI
ted one his right. pj
The father, becoming indignant, and
wuliinn *- " 1 ,--lr """
.........mo vuo oi?vii9t iu uiuu mm on 01
before tlie judges, said : m
" Now, Bob, will you stand up there and ^
contradict me ? Don't I know bow old you C(
arc? Wasn't I there?" 01
Bob looked his contempt for tbe old w
{pan's speech, as he hastily replied : ftJ
" Tbunderation ! s'pose you was wasn't I
there, too?". ti<
This settled tbe aire, and in went tbe
scion's vote. ,.
ki
Truisms.?Borrowed garments seldom j*|
fit well. vj]
Haste often trips up its own heels. re
Men often blush to hear what they are * ''
not ashamed to act. P'
IVidei* ilio *1in? ??" ?? " -v?
.<? / giw?? im mouBi- ??
ilVgardeM. ^
More are drowning in the wine cup than oc
in the ocean. r|ilie
who buys too many superfluities, se
may be obliged to sell his necessi'
ties. M
The heart of the miser must be touohed t0
with a hot iron before any warmth can be ?
produced. . 0j
lie who talks most,, often has the least |kj
brains. ra
Never patrooiae a spendthrift; better ai
Jet thy silver nnd gold rust in the ^
k,
A gallant wxg was lately sitting bes\de 8I
his beloved-,, and being uoaUle to think of ^
anything to say, asked her why she was
like a tailor 1 "I don't know," said she,
with a pouting lip, " unless it is because J
arm-sitting beside a goose."
7 pl
A* tKitchrna* having a friend Uwg in hi
tliis country, wrote to bit frtends itffcmung- w
them that after addressing a large meeting st
of citizens, the scaffold on which be stood,
gave way, owing to whioh he feU'tad broke
his necki ?K
> o!
Some Texas papers having complained' y(
that tlieir best editorials are extensively n
s i&>pied w<thout the proper credit,.the Vict?-' r
ria Aidvocata replies that it is often served'
* worse than, that, for some of its tevt edWi* Ir
vials are not copied'at all 4 a
*
_ JL.
i
%
EXCRUTIATINU.
Sckne 1?In front of a Fashionable
Hotel.?Gentleman dismounting from his
horse.
' Stabler, attend ! refrigerate my beast by
allowing him twice to circumambulate yonder
fountain ; that accomplished, to imbibe
a moderate quantity of aqueous particles;
conduct him with care to the repository for
wearied beasts, and having clothed in lustre
his dirty skin by n gentle application of
tho vegetable material, commonly called
straw, sulfur him to partake of food which
shall furnish nourishment and gentle repose."
Stabler?(laughing.) " W-h-a-t, sir ?"
Cfentlenian?" What sir! Stand you thus
like one with no reason in his soul, while
this poor beast, whose every poro is n fount
of pushing strength, grows valetudinary
'neath Sol's oppressive rays. Ye volatile
barbarian."
Stabler?(laughing still moro unrestrain
cdly. " I can't understand a word you say,
sir ! but I suppose you want your borse put
up."
Gentleman?" Stupidity unequalled !?
Landlord, fulminate your censures against
Lb is tardy burl, who lb us manifests oppugnation
to my d sires, and conduct me to
icdudbd apartments, and bring restoratives
?f the most vivitic character, to reiastate to
heir former the varied energies of my exhausted
frame."
Landlord?" I will, sir."
Gentleman?" Preposterous ! And you,
lir, unite in the disgraceful merriment of
four minion ! I should surmiso myself
ho first of tbe species you ever be>eld."
Landlord?(laughing still more.) " Inleed
you are, sir."
Gentleman?" Terminate this prolix
cene and officiate as guard to my apartneiits.
At the hour of dinner, summon
no; if wearisomeness should have caused
110 to be recumbent in posture, gently re
uMiiiiim mu wmi wie iream oi a Ian"
Scene 2 ? The Dininn Iloom, Gentlenan
seating himself at the table, dinner
ver, ami others standing in the room.
Gentleman.?" I should judge voracity
nd lgnorratice prevailing characteristics of j
lie man. I see nothing among these reekitg
ruins worthy the regard of a gentle
nan's palate. Waiter, I desire a female
)wl, sufficiently, but not redundantly made
dilile by fire."
It is brought.
" Waiter, dissect with care the same ; do ,
ot violently separate the part, least my
>ints should sutler dislocation from the dis
ordant sounds."
It is done.
Waiter, place a tender portion of the
reast upon my plate, with necessary ac ;
ompaniments."
It is done, and the gentleman commences
is dinner.
A wag, who with others had observed
lese proceedings, seats himself at the table 1
pposile our hero. (
Wan?" Vnilor fn?n!?l. ~~ - '
.. v., iiiiiiidu uiu nnu a re
lale fowl." ^
The waiter understands the joke,
nd does as he is bid.
"Vaiter dissever now her component
arts." I
It is done. ,
" Vaiter, divide those parts into portions, .
lited to lubial capacity." 1
Opening his mouth and throwing him
>lf back on the chair.
" Vaiter, place one of them in the orifice i
efore yo j." j
Our hero begins to understand the quiz, (
nd is evidently much disconcerted.
" Vaiter, vag my jaws !!" !
Amid roars of laughter, and curses upon <
is lips, our hero rushed from the room. t
Arguments for the Bible.?There are *
>ur grand nrjjuments for tht truth of the I
ible. The first is the miracles on record ; t
ic second the prophesies ; the third the t
^odncRS of the doctrine; the fourth the
oral character of the penmen. The mir5les
flow from Divine nnwpr tlio I '
I 1 ?
cs from Divino understanding; the cx- a
Hence of tlie doctrine from Divire good- t
jss; the moral character of the penmen
oin divine purity. Thus Christianity is
jilt upon these four immovable pillars?
ic power, the understanding, the goodness, ?
ie purity of God. The Bible must be r
le of these things?either an invention of r
>od men or good angela, or bad men or ^
td angels, pr a revelation from God. But
could not be the invention of good men u
- angels, for they neither would nor could i
ake a hook telling lies at the same time fl
lying " Tlius saith the Lord," when they ^
new it to be all their own invention. It '
>uld not be the invention of wicked men
devils, for they could not make a book
hich commands all duty, which forbids
1 sin, and which condemns their souls to
I eternity. The conclusion is irresistable; 0
ie Bible must be given by divine inspira- 6
on.?isustiop Simpson. a
8
The Eyes.?Rubbing the eyes on wa
ng is a destructive habit which many peo 1
e have contracted ; for though healthy i
sraoTis, whoso sight is moderately used a
irough the day, may not be sensible of r
ceiving any injury from this custom, yet
lose whose occupations demand close ap 0
ieation of their visual organs for any con 1
nued space of time will soon be convin [
id, br painful experience, of the truth of g
lis remark. To syrinage or wash the eyes c
scasionally during the day, as well as on
ling, is of much importance to their pre c
rvationv , c
^A green looking chap from the Green 'j
fountain State went o*e* tUe Hue and on
i Montreal, " to^look reound.a leetlo."?
oing into ft largo and handsome dry goods F
ore, his verdancy attracted the attention 1
" the proprietor, who attempted to quiz v
iro, but inhnppily having an im-p p-pedi j
tent in his speech, he hod to give it up,
id his head clerk canoe forward to speak
* him.
The clerk began. ** Mr. Bull wisffes to c
now if you can tell bins why Balaam's ass t
>oke!" ; ,
" Wa'al," said Jonathan, "I rather guess j
i how Balaam was a stutlorio* man-, and
is ass Itpdfo speak for him P. !*
Good for Jonathan.'
A pedagogue threatened to punish a pu- t
il who had called him a fool behind his *
i?)c. *f Doft>l don't P said the boy. 441 *
out do so agarn, sir, never I I sever will ?
,?, O.k.1 tlkinV !- ?
,j wwmmmmw *0 WIUA >??*! U 111 HJJT
A liotpl an&livacy-stable keeper ?t a fash- 1
noble watering-place,, advertise^ amoogst t
tber indacementfc to visitor^ sociable* for t
oung ladiea and gentlemcp, anil sulkies Cor \
tarried folia. * i
44 Wha? queer tiring* men will. nuke for *
lonfey ! ' <a Che woman aaid wban- she saw
monkey. y
* % '
A PAINTER'S BILL.
Tlie following is a translation from ai
French paper. It is a bill presented to
curuto of tlio cliurcli of Darrville, in 1
l?y Jaqiies Iiarbou, docorativj paii
corative painter:
1. Correcting and revarnitdiing tin
commandments.
2. Putting a now tail to St. P<
cock, and repairing his cou>h.
3. Fixing the good thief to his c
and making a new finger for
same.
4. Restoring the Angel Gal
eye.
5.* Washing tho servant of Caia
the hich-nriest. and niiLiimr r?nm> ?...
W 4 ' * O V"
cheeks.
0. Renewing tho heavens, ad
two stars, gilding the sun, and washing
moon.
1. Brightening the flames of purga
and restoring several souls.
8. Renewing the fires of hell, putti
now tail to Lucifer, and repairing his
claw.
9. A new border for Herod's robe,
ting in two new teeth, and re-adjusting
wig.
10. Patching tho leather breechei
Amos, and putting two buttons on his w
coat.
11. Cleaning the ears of Balaam's
and new-shoeing him.
1 O A 1 -I.I? !_ !
a M. lie IV JIUIIUIU III l^ilVIU 8 Sllll^,
larging Goliah's head, and selling his
farther back.
13. New teeth in the jaw bone of
ass in Sainton's band.
14. Pulling a new shirt on the prod
son.
Total, 70 Iivres, 6 sols.
Maxims for Grumblers.?If you \v<
I ave all men friendly with you,be frier
with none. Ment hink lhat apple is swee
that hangs on the topmost bough.
lie who would be asked to dinner she
first hint that ho had dined. We ofler
services the more readily when we ill
they will not be accepted.
If it were not for fine cloths how
would go to church.
Never confide in a young man: i
pails leak.
wever tell your secrets to tho aged ;
Joors seldom shut closely.
In the way of the world, how often
wo seo a man lake all the pavement to h
self?
I have noticed this : mon mostly do
to see your faces when you have turned y
back upon them.
Alas! how often do your friends fol
ho custom of apothercaries, who give
rice gratis, provided you swallow their m
cine.
Manners.?Young folks should he m
lerly. But how to be is tho quesli
Vfany a good boy and girl feel that tl
;aunot behave to suit themselves in the {
lence of company. They are awkwf
:lownish, rough. They feel timid, basl
ind self-distrustful the moment tliev
iddre9sed by a stranger, or appear in cc
>any. There is but one way to get o
his feeling and acquire graceful and e;
nanners; that is, to do the best they <
ill the time, at home as well as abro
Jood manners are not learned so much
icquired by habit. They grow upon us
ise. We must be courteous, agreeal
ivil, kind, gentlemanly and womanly
loine, and then it will become a kind
econd nature to be soeverwhere. A coa
ough manner at home begets a habit
ouglmess which we cannot lay off if
ry, when we go among strangers. 1
nost agreeable people we have ever kno
n company, are those that are perfet
grceable at home, Home is the sell
or all the best tilings.? Youth's Friend
Simplicity of Drets.?Loveliness no
ppeara to so good advantage as when
iff with simplicity of dress. No ar
ver decks his angels with towering featu
ind gaudy jewelry ; and our dear bun
ingels, if they would make good their L
o that name, Bbould carefully avoid ori
nents which properly belong to Ind
quftws and African princes. These lint
ies may serve to give effect on the sti
>r upon a lall-room, floor, but in daily
here is no substitue for the charm of si
mciiy. A vulgar taste is not to bo (
;uised by gold and diamonds. The absei
if a true taste and refinement of delica
annot be compensated for by the possessi
if the inoBt princely fortune. Mind me
ires gold, but. gold cannot mcasuro mi
Through dress the mind may be read,
hrougli the delicate tissue, the lette:
>age. A modest woman will dress mod
y, and a really refined and intcllec
roman will bear the marks of careful se
ion and faultless taste.
^ ?
Mr. S. made in a single piece f<
>r 25 yards of sau&age, using the tri
nings or sausage meat of two pork
weighing 460 pounds. This, we should 8
a a great extension of the pork bi
lessi'* *
Ad Atfkt painted' a cannon so naturi
be other day, that when be finished
onch hole, it went off. A friend Accou
or it by saying that it pas takes by
he rift
M Madam, has your piano an jeo'iao
chment I" asked Sam,, the other night
be wife of a man who appeared to live
Ay it mot beyond, "his income. u Hug
whispered' Seth in his ear, ** it ha* a<eheri
kttaehment!" Sam dropped the b
ecuMen;
like book*; have at each enc
>lank leaf?childhood1 and old age.
THE SORREL DOCTOR.
i old Sotno years ago a bill was up before tl
tl,e Alabama Legislature for establishing
710, Botanical Medical College at Wetumpk
iter: Several able speakers had made long a
dresses in support of tho bill, when 0110 M
a ten Mourissett, from Monroe, took tho lloc
With much gravity he addressed the Hon
iter's as follows:
" Mr. Speaker, I cannot support this b
:rossi unless assured that a distinguished friend
tlie mine is made one of tho professors. lie
what that college wishes to make for us,
riel', regular root doctor, and will suit the pla<
exactly. lie became a doctor in two hour
plias ai,,l 01 'y cost I'i'O twenty dollars I
l,js complele his education. lie was called I
sec a sick woman once, so he tucked h
ding book under his arm, and olF ho went. Sli
r tho was ft very sick woinnn indeed, and lie fo
her wrist, looked in her mouth, and the
lory, turning to the huslmni], asked solemnly
h'e had a 'sorrel sheep.'
ng a 1 W'y, no, I never heard of such
|eft, thing,' said the man.
4 Well, there is such a thing,* said tl
put- doctor, nodding his head knowingly.his
' Have you got a sorrel horse, then V
4 Yes,' said the man, 4 I drove hi in t
3 of mill this morning.'
aist- 4 Well,' said the doctor, 4 ho must I
killed immediately, and somo soup mad
ass, of him for your wife.'
The woman turned her head awav, an
en- the astonished man inquired if something
r. . ? -
ivuu cisu would not do for the soup, tins liors
was worth si hundred dollars, and was a!
the the one ho had.
' Nn,' said the doctor, ' tho hook say
so, nnd if you don't behove it I wil
show it to you?'Good for fevers?shee
sorrel or horse sorrel.' There, sir.'
j} 'Why, doctor,' said the man and hi
,, ' wife, 'it don't mean sorrel sheep or horse
idly , . i
" ' hut?
lU:>t i Well, I know what I am about,' in
Id terrupted tho doctor ; ' that's tho way w
doctors read it and we under>tan<
our
link '
' Now,' continued the speaker amids
the roars of the House, ' unless my sorre
doctor can ho one of the professors,
must vote against this bill.'
lew ^ ?
The blow most effectually killed tin
ol j bill, it is needless to state.
Extreme JJtlieuei/.?" Is there anything
/ ? the matter?"
x iiui u is, sir.
" Have I giVen offence ?"
si ro
" You have, sir."
our
" Really, I am ignorant of it."
jow " Such language won't suit here."
ft(j. " My dear, sir, what language ?"
. ' You were talking of souj?."
? " \Vo were."
" You mentioned ox tail."
" I did."
anon
" That is it, that is it, sir. That <*ent tin
liey 'rt(''es blushing out of the rooin ; that high
>re ly improper language which I never hean
ir(j at any board before, and should not hav<
iful e*Pecle(J ^ro,n you."
are " Why, sir, I but called it by its propel
(m_ name. You asked a question, and I re
vcr plied. I am, however sorry that it ha:
asy S'von offence?but I do not really know
?a now i couiu well nave avoiueu it."
" Then, sir, I would advise you, when yoi
have occasion another time to speak of thai
as . '
. peculiar soup, do not call it ox tail."
"No?"
# "No, sir."
f " lint what shall I cal! it?"
of
" Fly-dispenser."
irse J 1
To the Girls.?Here is a paragraph ol
we plain talk to the girls, by an anonymous
The author which is worth a library of Young
wn Ladies1 Books, or Young Ladies' Friends, or
whatever may be title of the wishywashy
st 5' compounds that are sold for the benefit ol
oo1 that interestiner noition of the community _
w # ^ J '
" Men who are worth having, wish women
for their wives. A bundle of gewgaws
bound with a string of flats and qua^er
vera, sprinkled with cologne, and set in a
set carmine saucer?this is no help for a man
tint who expects to raise a family on veritable
res l'reaJ meat. The piano and laco frame
are good in their places, an J so are ribbons,
frills and tinsels, but you cannot make a
ll'e dinner of the former, nor abed blanket of
ia- the latter. And, awful as the idea may
ian seem 10 you, both dinner and bed blankets
iej. are necessary for domestic happiness. Life
has its realities as well as fancies ; but you
*j?e make it all a matter of decoration, feinem' 'e
tiering the tassels and curtains, but forgetm
ting the bedstead. Suppose a mnn of good
li8. sense, and of course good prospects, to be
race '??Wn8 wife, what chance have you
to bo cho&en ? You may cap hiru, or you
c^' may trap him, or you may catch him, but
ion how much better to make it an object for
sas- him to catch you. Render yourself worth
,,j catching; and you will need no tdirewd
mother or brother to find a market.
as
' ' The woman who never interfered with
her husband's affairs arrivnd in inun
l.Ua other day. She is an old maid.
lec
The man v/ho never says nothing to
nobody was recently, married to the lady
^ who never speaks ill of no one.
im;ers
" I know," said Tipsy, " water is a fine
ayt thing, M but it is so dreadful thin.n
jsiIlumbug?when
your wife says Bhe
fovea you and leaves the buttons off your
ilty shirt.
the
Much Needed. A good, strong, adhcsite
plaster, to make busy bodies stick to
tbeir own.business.
The crew of a sailing boat threw out all
of her ballast She was consequently up'
set?destroyed by lightening.
ill W
* How do you acooui^ for this? The
compass has four poinWvand yet a pair of
u^* compasses only has two.
Happiness is like a pig with a greasy
1* tail, which, avery ona ruaa aftor,.but few
hold..
University of the Idea of Iteliyion.?
10 If there be in man's heart a sentiment
:i which is unknown to all other living beings,
a* and which always manifests itself whatever
' may be his position, is it not likely that
this sentiment is a fundamental law of his
,r. nature ?
so Such is, in our opinion, the religious Ren
liment. Savage hordes, barbarous tribes,
i'f nations enjoying tlio full force of the social
state, those which are languishing in the
s decrepitude of civilization?all demonstrate
a the power of this indestructible senli
ment.
s? It triumphs overall interests. The sav
age to whom fishing or the arduous chase
-? furnishes an insufficient subsistence, coiisc
,s crates to his Fetich a portion of that pre
IC carious support. The warlike colony lays
It down its arms, to reunite at the foot of the
i" altar. Free nations interrupt their deliber
ations to invoke their gods in temples.
Despots grant their slaves days of interims
a sion for the same purpose.
The passions, as well as interests are
IC submissive. Wlien suppliants embrace llic
? knees of sacred statues, vengeance is
hushed, hatred is calmed, man imposes si
? lence upon his mo?t imperious desires
Pleasure is interdicted, love abjured, and
>e he precipitates himself upon suffering and
e death.
J This sentiment is, however, associated
d with all our needs and all our desires. The
rt citizen invokes Deity in favor of his conn
e try; the lover, separated from the object
II of his love confides her to the superintend
in<; care of Providence. The prisoner's
s prayer pierces tho wall of his dungeon ;
I | the tyrant upon his throne is disquieted,
p j harassed by invisible powers; he can
| scarcely reassure hiin-elf in imagining tliein
s ; mercenary.? Cousfmit. debt Iti liyion.
' Ji'tfcs for Improvement.?Never shrink
from an unpleasant duty.
He charitable in thought as well as in
j action.
liallie every morning and take plenty of
t exercise,
I r.c open for correct ion ; if you are in
j the wrong frankly acknowledge it.
Be virtuous in mimLnnd body, and let
e your thoughts lie pnre.
Re useful for the love of use, and not
for tlie credit of I eing useful.
r Improve yourself by the means in your
power, mentally and physically.
In time of danger and trouble, think
first and then act coolly and decisiveNever
he prejudiced or allow yourself to
ho led, without first judging for yourself.
In stud v concentrate votir tlion<rlii?
and ideas- solely upon the subject before
you.
Never be idle. Always have something
to do ; remember moments are the gulden
_ sands of time.
1 Ai ways get np when you first wake in
i the morning, one hour of that time is worth
two at night.
r Do everything in a cool, active and ener
getie manner, never allow hizv feelings to.
' conic over you.
r ir.: ? :i i ?- 1
iimucu, 111 uwiy |>un?iixu way,youroouy;
but keep your mitul and conscience clear
1 and bright.
t Persevere. Never give tip a thing
until you have tried in every possible
way.
" Perseverance is the best school for every
manly virtue."
He truly polite. Lord Chesterfield savs,
"Good breeding is benevolence in trifles,
or the preference of others in the little af|
fairs of 1 ife." A
spirit of kindness is beautiful in the
aged, lovely in the young, indispensable to
the comfort and happiness of a fain,
ily.
The woman who undertook to scour
I.Iia ivnrulc l???c uKoiuIa??a?I *! ? : 4 '
^www ...... ??u.u.uuilOU Uiu JWU, UWJIIJJ l()
tlie liigli price of soap. Tho hist that
was heard of her, sho was skimming tlie
sea.
Porter's Spirit of the Times has an account
of a dreadful old fellow, who " would
rather tell a lie on six months' credit, than
tell the truth for cash l"
A little hoy upon whom his mother was
inflicting personal chastisement, said :
' Give me two or three licks more, mother,
I don't think I can bebtivo well yet."
Miss Nancy says n man is good for nothing
until he is married, and according to
her experience, ho ain't worth but a dreadful
little when he is.
'' Keep your dog away from me," said
a dandy to a butcher boy. " I wish that
dog was dead, he's always after the puppies*"
said the boy.
"Now, Sam, if you don't stop licking
that molasses, I'll tell the mafl." " You
tell tho man, and I'll lick you and the 'lasses
too."
A O? .1 ?IM ? .... -
iv ouuuiem paper liiiiiks mo neutrality ol
the Atlantic Cable, which was so earnestly
begged for by President Buchanan, has been
fully established. It hasn't a word to say
on either side.
The Hew Haven Times states that the
bakers in that city Are trying who can bake
the largest loaves for sixpence. The bakers
in 13k?ton are trying the other extreme, and
they succeed admirably.
A professional beggar boy, some, ten
years of age, ignorant of the art of reading
bougUt a card to put in his breast, and
appeared in. tlte public streets a
" Poor widow with eight small children."
| Want of deconcy is want of 8?nse,.
IvZTl)c 3,bbcuillc Banner,
Published Every Thursday Morning, by
XI/LVIS d3 HEWS.
W. O. DAVIS Editor
, T. B. OREWS, Publisher.
T n. JVC S :
Two Doi.i.aks per uiinuui, if paid in ndvancc;
Two Doi.i.arh and Firrr Oknts if not paid within
six months, and Tiikkk Doi.laiih if not pnid before
ihe end of the year. All subscriptions not
limited at the time of subscribing, will be con1
| sidercd us indefinite, and will he continued until
arrearages are paid, or at the option of the Proprietor*.
Orders from other Stales must invari
ohli/ be accompanied with the Cash.
NOTICE TO SUBSCRIBERS.
Though wo have a penalty for nonpayment
of subscriptions t.o our muter when <hu? it li<>?
i not been rigidly exacted by our predecessors:
ami wo, to hoiiic extent, have followed their example.
Reasons satisfactory to ourselves Imve
i led us to tlie conviction thai we should, in all
eases, inform the penalty. We therefore i?ive
1 notice that on niul after the 1st of April next,
j we shall charge for all subscriptions not. paid
! within six months, Jj'i.;">(), ami ?t:i.00 if not paid
; within one year. Tlioso who nt>tno forward iiikI
settle before that time may save something, luit
! those who neglect until alier our rule goes into
j effect, may rely upon paying for tlieir negligence
! the full aim.nut. of the penalty.
Kxpcrience, too, has taught lit) that there should
! be some charge made for Obitnarv Notioes exj
eeedinn a certain length. We shall, in future,
j change the excess over one square, at. ml vertisj
iilt raieg, to lie charged to the parly who ordera
it in the paper.
The above terms have been agreed l-o by tlie
1'roprietors of the Abbeville liminer and Jitilc/iraJrnl
J'rrxg.
RATES OF ADVERTISING-.
The Proprietors of ttw Abbeville Jiannrr and
fiulijnnilfiit /'r>*x, have established the following
rales of Advertising to be charged in both
I papers: j
lOvrry Advertisement inserted for a loss time '
than tliree months, will be charged l?v the inserlion
at. One Dollar per Square (1 j inch?the
spnee of 1*2 solid lines or less,) for tlie first insertion,
and Fifty Cents for each subsequent insertion.
Commissioner's, Sheriff's, Clerk's and
Ordinary's Advertisements will lie inserted in
lx>th papers, eaeli chaririiit; half price.
J?' Shi'i'itr's I.evics. One Dollar *nch.
Announcing a Candidate. Five Dollars.
Advertising nil Kstrav, Two Dollars, to be
paid l?y the Magistrate.
Advertisements inserted for three months, or
lonjI'T, at tlic fallowing rates:
1 square S months $ 5.00
I square 11 months 8.0o
1 square months.... 10.till
I sipiare 12 mouths. .. 1-.00
J squares .'i months 8.1)0
' 'J squares ti mouths 1-1.Oil
I "2 s<|iiares '.I mouths 18.'Hi
| '2 squares 1*2 months.. 20.')0
i :i squares :$ months. IU.00
II squares It in on t lis. lti.OO
:5 squares months 21.00
8 squares 1*2 months 25.ill)
1 squares :i mouths ... 12.0u
4 squares ti mouths 2o.0(l
4 squares '.I months 2(>.0o
4 squares 1*2 mouths "KI.CIii
,r) squares :? mouths. 15.00
a squares ti mouths. .... 25.00
ft .-"<|iiar?'s t( months HI.1)0
o Miiiitri'S I'J months... . 35.1 Ml
li W|lliir?-S II months 20.0(1
ti M|ll!iroK ti IllOlltllS . 30.1)0
(i sipliircrt '.I months. Srt.OO
(> squares 1 2 mouths 4(1.00
7 squares months SJ5.O0
7 si|iini'es <! months 35.00
7 squares '.I months 41.00
7 squares 12 months 45.00
S squares S monllis 80.00
8 squares ti mouths 40.00
S squares months 4fi.00
S squares 12 mouths 50.00
Fractions of Squares will be charged in i>roix>r- .
lion to tlie above rates.
?3T* Business Cards for the term of one year,
will lie charged in proportion to the space they
ocoupv, lit One Dollar per line .-"puce.
?3^" For all advertisements set in double column,
Fifty per Cent, extra will b? willed to th#
above rates.
DAVIS <fc CREWS,
Fur /tanner;
LEE &, WILSON,
For Pre.m.
TO PROPRIETORS, ARCHITECTS AND
BUILDERS.
JOHN CQRBETT,
PRACTICAL HOUSE PAINTER,
7" OU LV) inform the inhabitants of Abbe-*
ww ville, an<l the public generally, that he '
has permanently located nt Abbeville C. II., for
the puqto.se of pursuing his profession. From a
long experience in Europe, an<l many of the
principal Towns of America, combined with a
steady attention to business, lie flatters himself
that he will be able to give entire satisraction to
all who wish to have good lb.use Fainting done,
and will favor him with their orders. lie feels
i.:....,?ir - ? -- ! "
I 111fttisiv i u? 11111X1 ail
Graining, Marbling, Paper Hanging, &c.
His experience and skill in his profession will en|
nblo liim to complete all work in his line nt very
moderate prices.
Clinches, llalls, Staircase Walls, Mantle Pieces
tfce., finished in imitation of Marble. Hooms
Papered, Paneled with Ouk Paper, und variiblied i
in I lie best style.
lie is prepared to paint all old and new work.
an<l Tin Roofs, outside. Also, inside or outside
of Hough-coated Walls of private or public build- i
insts in imitation of uuy color of stono, at one <
third of the cost usually charged, I?y substituting
a composition of his own which has been fully
tested, and will stand good for years. Window
Sashes of private and public buildings glazed at
moderate prices.
He will also keep ou hand and for sale all kinds '
of Mixed Paints in quantities to suit purchasers. f
And also, a great variety of paper suitable for 4
lied Ho. ins, Hilling, and Drawing Hooius. He <
will paint signs on glass or wood, at short no- ^
tice. 1
?Office ill the Woodeu Duilding adjoining ?
the Marshall House.
May 12 >HS8. 3 ly
GAS LIGHT! GAS LIGHTT
WE RESPECTFULLY inform our friends
and the public that we have purchased _
the exclusive right to Bell, in this District, Danford
ii Bailey's Patent,Self-Generating
Gas Lamps,
and can supply every family with the most beautiful
and economical light new in use. It is no ~
trouble to keep them in order, aud their impossibility
of explosion renders thorn, invaluable.? r
One burner will give as much light as seven can?lles.
nL the trivial eost of n limit nn? ??ni
n
and cau be fitted ill any other Lamp at small?*- f(
penscv w
We will kerp oil hand a supply of splendid
Parlor and other Lamps,
nt hII pricpa. This light is adapted to Churches*
Hotels, Stores anil Dwellings.
Cull and pee for yourselves, at
JORDAN A McliAUCIILIN'S J
No 3? Grnnito Range,
Abbeville C. H., S. C.
April SJ8, 1858 1 tr
* DR. S. HENRY BEARD, l<
DENTIST,
Graduate of the caltiiaora College of
Dental Surgerys
HAS permanently located at Abbeville C. ?
H., aud solioits % star* of public patron- \
age. Teeth inserted from one to full upper and ..
lower sets. Exposed nerves deetroyed and treat- "
ed, free from pain. Having purchased an office ^
Right, of Dr. Blandy* of EUUia*>r?, I am pre- *
pared ta insert teeth on the Cheoplastv^ process.
iy Office, two doors below Dandy's Cornea,
Abbeville 0. II., S. C,
April 22, 1&6& 1 ly
Press please copy. ^
Crown Double Extension. ?
HOOP SKLRTSi just received
at MOORE:* QUAIFE'S.
Abbeville Cv II,. Any., 11?, 1858 13H(
*
-?
ABBEVILLE AND WASHINGTON
STAGE LINE.
ABBEVILLE to WASHINGTON
rpiIB PKORIETOR of this well establishe?l
X. l.inc taken thin method of informing the
public that lie hue changed his Schedule,for thtf
convenience of passengers.
The Stage will be detained at Abbeville Court
House, until half past 9 o'clock, on MONDAY;
WEDNESDAY and FRIDAY morning*,
fording an opportunity f>r paisengers on the
morning train from (ireenville to go directly
through to Washington, (Jn.. the same day, c<5niiecting
with the train nt Washington for AagiiKta,
Montgomery, Aln. The passengers are
detained n few hours at Washington, G?.
Th? Stage will leave Washington, oil
TUESDAY. tiiith-?ii?a v ?j .j ?? ?
___ , A UIIU O/liUnUAK
tnorniiii;*.
The Line has been refitted wiih a pfflfetitfid
Four-Horse Coach,
good Tennis and an experienced ch-iver.
SI i' I'assenirers from all point* abore Newberry,
fining West, will find lliat they can reacH
any point west of Atlanta in exactly the Mind
time, and with $5.00 less expense tna& by w?^
of Itraiichville.
l'or further information apply M
JOHN McBRYDE, Ag% ,
At the I'ost Oflice, Abbevile C. H.,S. O!
May 2?, IH5d b ly
I JOHN L. CL ARK, ^
REPAIRER OF CLOCKS, WrUE5>
JEWELB-fo
WOULD respectfully inform the cili'TV^
zens of the District, that lie lias*1*
located himself at Hodge's Depot, wher(..w' '
be prepared to execute, witii promp\l,e^j or"
dors in hid line of -business. He '9
pared with all the tools and material# ?f *
and led* ' ?.? ?M? to
;i c. win nocure liis aerviccs in any part of th*
District.
Jan. 28, 1859 40 Ij
cr Press copy,
W. C. Davis,
smorney at Jmw and Solictor in Equity
Abbevili.k, S. C.
Will promptly attend to all business entrusted t*
hip cure. lie can be found at the office of th?
Abbeville Bmutr " July 28 16
DR. J. D. McKELLAR^
DB INT T I ST,
Abbeville C. H., S. C.
Office?Over Branch &. AJLen's Drug Store.
July 20, 1858 13 ly
Hoops! Hoops! J
ANEW supply, just received
ut MOORE A QUAIFE'8
Abbevlilc, Aug. 19, 1858 19-tf
Mackey Conncil, E.*. & S.\ M.\
rPIlE Ri>culnr meeting of this Council wilth*
1 held the Third Wednesday Night of such
Month.
Extra meeting will be called at any time to
suit, the convenience of Companions from the
country. J. G. BASK IN, Recorder.
Oct. 20? 1857 27 if
[
Cigars, Cigars, Cigars.
H uoi rcct'ivL'o u iHige 101; iw.ouu very fin? !
IF Cipars, worth from $50 to |80 per thour. '
miul. Also, ft lot of very fine chewing Tob*ce<\
it ?1.25 to ?1.50 per lb. Pure French Brandy,
lertxiiily u)?wle Cronot the juice of the grape.??
rViites, Whiskies, ftiaa <kc., of the very beak
(iiulily that we have been uWe vUU WIMO cw?
ind and great expenses to obtain. .
ffj* Also, a few empty Barrels for sate*
juudan &. Mclaughlin.
June 9, 1858 7 tf |
. _ i
W. K. BLAKE,
Attorney at Xiaw? 1.
1ST ILL Practice in the Courts of EdgefieUC j
iV Newberry, Laurens, and Abbeville* !
Oflioe?Ninety-Six, Abbeville, S. C. j
Oct. 6?185? 24 tf
Negroop Wanted. '
rHE undersigned will at all times parens?
likely Negroes, between 10 and 20 years ot ,
go, at reasonable prices. Those having them \ .
>r sale, will oblige by addressing me at Green* '<
food, Abbeville, District S. C. \
JOHN T. PARKS;
Aug. 4, 1858. 15 Cm \
Just Received. I
A SUPPLY of FRANGIPANNI Extraet, |
fm and Eternal Perfume for the Handkeroh'C |
Frangipanui Toilet Water, 1
do do Soap,
do do SaoMts. '
> which we invite tU? attention of the ladiea,
jorjaan a Mclaughlin,
Druggiata and Oheq^aU.,
Jul; 1, 1858. |J( " H I
\TT
The Clear Starter's Friend \
IT ILL give a ?toi*hec| %nd beautiful fflom to* \
IT Coll arm. Shirt Bosom*, and to a)L ljuen, rop#n
and cotton goods; it will be found, ao.aasi*? |
mt in whitening clothes, ajid ia. warranted la I
Mitai* nothing injurious, ^ot; sale by
JORIMN * MCLAUGHLIN,
Dfuggiata and Ctawista. \
Paints and Qili^
IT E have ju&t received a lot of PURR WBfTf \
H LEAD, Linseed Oil, *nd Copal Vanish, \
'hich we will sell cheap. \
jordan * Mclaughlin,
No. 3, Granite Range, AhbcvjlleO. II. \
Jty 8, 1858. l( \\ \