Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Km r. i ' 1M MBOTLILII MSfflM. TWO DOLLARS PER ANNUM ] 44 toexe r?n.ioe of XjXbeiity is eten.i\r_zvu vi&ix. atjoe." [PAYABLE IN ADVANCE. BY DAVIS & IIOLLINGS WORTH. ABBEVILLE, SOUTH CAROLINA, THURSDAY MORNING, FEBRUARY 5, 1857. VOL. XIII AO. 41? ~ ~~ * i from the A cm Orleans Duily t)<ltn. PARI PASSU ISM, The jiari jxtsnit principle lately presented by tlie Richmond Enquirer as the ultima- j turn of tlie South, though just enough a3 fur as it implies tlie light ami the political i essentially of the South maintaining her ' equilibrium in the Union, yet is iusupcia- ; lily objectionable so far as it may commit ! the South to hold her peace, repress her j development and stint her mitural growth to suit the progress of the North in ex- j tending the 4i area of freedom." The . %ir . ... XNorili is essentially aggressive towards the i South, always has l>ecn, aiul always will be, while slavery shall furnish a pretext for ! hostility, and the Union a medium of at- ' tack ; but the attitude of the South, in its federal relations, is not aggiessive, but do fensire ; it lias not sought, and docs not j aeek, to subvert any institution of the free States, interfere with their domestic con- ' cerii8, and menace their general safely and tranquility ; and, consequently, it is very 1 obvious that no sufficient reason exists for restraining her growth to a strict ratio with that of the North, while there is abundant necessity that the latter should not have a . clear and available political, numerical and territorial preponderance over the South. | This doctrine of pari passu ism is very , suggestive at least; it offers no indemnity for the past, and no sufficient security for ' the future, but its consideration necessarily 1 reveals the great and increasing dangers to winch the South is exposed. It aft'ords no i adequate guaranty for the future, because i (he probabilities and possibilities for the expansion of the South in the Union, pari | j)nssu with the North, are at present clearly < unequal to those of the latter. Politicians, < in and out of Congress, begin to admit ? that Kansas will conic in as a free State? , Minnesota will also be a hunted as another ' < fiee State; in less lhau two years both t will be.added to the strength of the North ; s Nebraska, Utah, Washington and Oregon i xvill follow in no long time; and thus, be- 1 i foro the next l'lcsidciitinl election, six new i Stales will bu gained as a vantage for Free- ! i fioiiism; the Noiih will have tweuty-iwo i States to fifteen slave States, and forty-four < Senators to thirty from the S.>iuh. < This progression of tin? North is certain: j < it is only a question of time; a very short I time. Hut in what direction is the South, ' < in the meantime, to extend herself, either j noliticallv ?"ir torrilnri.-illc ? \\'#?u!.1 T..v.iu I . * .J " J ' * i 1 consent to l>e divided into three or four | States, to keep tip a show of equilibrium ] for tlie South ? It is only possible that j she would. Even then the States thus ! ( gained would not ofl<et those oil which ' < the North may certainly count: and, in < any C\eut, the South would be at a stand- i At ill as regards territory and piodiicliveUe.->s. ( Meanwhile Frce-soilisin would have the i control of Congress in both branches, and ; the admission of a new slave State, whether ! I composed of a part of Texas, a slice from < New Mexico, or the McmIIu Valley, would ! I depend entirely upon tlie behest of North- ; ern Senators and Iieprcscntativcs. Such ] would be the beggarly position of the j South. Would she then abjectly entreat I to bo admitted to an equality ? Then she , i would Iks epcrned for her humility. Would | __ 6lie demand it with boldness ? Then she ' < would he despised for her impudent trucu- I leuce. Would the North, having onee ?. brought her into complete subjugation and r tasted the sweets of power, be willing to 1 hazard its loss by consciitin<; to the atiticxa- t t> tion of Cuou, or a poriiuii u( Mexico as a | slaveholdiug country ? We may search < history in?v:iin for an example to justify the < expectation that she would do so. On the < contrary, nil history teaches us that power I is never willingly relinquished when onee i obtained. Ask Jhe Ghost of (Jeorge the Third and his Ministry, if, without a trial 1 of strength, they would have conferred equality or independence upon their Ameri can colonics. A>k England if she is ready to surrender any portion of India ; Ilussia t- if bIic would resign l'olaud, Austria if slic would liberate Hungary. The prospcct appears gloomy enough, on the pari passu principle?which is iin.. practicable?or in any other view, with the j * preservation of the Union as a condition * 'precedent, patriotic gentlemen, who love principle much, possibly, but who love i X y_lfttO with yet greater ardor, we fear, may nc. lliaf u'a /In tl?<? v.. ?? ?? ? V MV MIV i'VIUI IIIJUSUUU) III ill her sentiment lias undergone a remarkable I t <.- change since the Presidential election, thnl j /? halcyon daj'S are coining when the lion j I.- Sjnl hsuib shall lie down together and the > -^i>iltl may play upon the hole of the asp, j y 7mAt?tt sectional war will be no more, and " . .. ihfl tfWord of strife be turned into a plough tell tho Southern people that * ' no 8l,c'1 change, that the , * steps no such Millennial prospect.? > * The leopard does not ch?nge his spots, and Nonhorn people, as a mass?or-as a * natiojp;say?have not so soon , (pst tuolf fjlnndcnl sentiment, tlieir instincts of Ainbitioiv^nU tfiirai for power. To bejjfcsTeitl.c contrnry, were to put fijitli in a A doIUrtion. Traitors mny ^Qoll us fb?re i? ho d?ng?*;'flnJ ery peace 1 F? rcaco?m,d **"?* A litile mor?-flwpt? Uiib more tlumb?^ 'A Utile more folding of the hand* together; ; 3jSC|5W.',? I''0 So'"1"? MOT"*.* %? , tliorfl II na UCAltn or UlfMv in ilia irnnna. .7'""Z T- | I nii'iits of party, ami under the shadow of tlie Federal Govement at this time ; we tell them that Mr. Iiuchauan, whatever his patriotism, integrity and sagacity may be, cannot give us indemnity for the past nor security for tlie future; wo tell lliem to preserve their weapons bright, keep their powder d? v, and bo ready for ti e issues, of H 111 iik v?4i nvovt vi 111 uiiniu^u THE INTERIOR OF AFRICA. Two groat unsolved geographical prol>lcms arc now prominently before the world, Itallling, and yet encouraging, the efforts of travelers and scientific men to unravel them ?what surrounds the North l'ole, and what exists in the interior of Africa. The impenetrable mystery which, like .1 thick veil, shrouds both regions, gives to each a character of romance, and clothes it with an interest which stimulates investigation. The North l'ole is surrounded by u barrier of eternal ice, which locks its secrets in its frozen embrace, and seems to look with chilling impulsiveness upon the importunate curiosity which seeks to peer through the adamantine walls and view the jealously guarded mystery within. The interior of Africa is i-iivirmw>il In' mi - - J V ding aridity, redolent of frightful diseases and fearful dangers, and encompassed, also, by hordes of barbarians, whose bristling spears and pikes prohibit the approach of the whilo traveler, except at the peril of his life. The open Polar Sea theory of I)r. Kane, though unconfirmed, as yet, by actual facts, is so accurately jointed and dovetailed bv <cicntific reasonings and deduction, as to be almost a certainty ; and tlie future dis jovory of such a sea is looked upon with i ;oulideiice. The existence of this sea is a ubjcct secondary iu importance to the j piestion, what is iu it? Is it july a waste >f waters, forever heaving wearilv around he pole, with no human eye to look on its iilent majesty ? Or, is it an archipelago, a vildertiess of islands, the watery bed of j warm, green gems, grouped willim a rnil ol ci>, inhabited by thousands of happy human beings who have no knowledge, and no dream, even, of the mighty world without ? These questions it is which add a iharm to die subject, and will continue to lo so, until some broach in the icy rampart lie discovered, through which wc can look jii the unveiled realities within. The hurtling heart of Africa still throbs, msoeii by civilized oj-es; yet its secret is teing gradually revealed. Slowly, but sure- I y. the circle of terrors which surrounds it : < liiotwr iiMi-i-.u*'-.-! 1.?? '? vu i?? inu viiwiin ui uai ill" , - ... i .ravclcrs ami courageous missionaries, ami ivory year biings willi it some fresh discov?ry made by these brave men. Several uoiillis ago, an English expedition pencilled by boats up the Niger river and its ri bill a lies, the Biuue and llic Tshadda, to region never before explored, and brought | jack knowledge of the natives and their ountry, of a deej>ly interesting and valua- j ?l?! eh a racier. And now, scientific circles ire gratified by ibe return to England of' I >r. Livingston, after wandering in Africa a icriod of sixteen years. Dr. Livingston went out to Africa as a Missionary, but availed himself of tho op- j lurtunily which a long residence in that . oiliitry afforded, of gathering much valua- j do geographical and astronomical knowl- :dge. Starting from Cape Town, the brave i Missionary went northward hoy011 d Lake I Sgami, and thence westward till he reached he Atlantic coast, at Loanda. Returning, ; martially by tho same route, ho again reach- | id the Lake Ngarni, whence he directed his 1 steps eastward, and reached the opposite | coast at the mouth of the Zambeze rivers, liaving twice traversed tho African continent?a feat never before performed. It was a journey of perils. His body was torn, and his arm broken on one occasion, by a lion, while an unoffending Christian missionary alone saved him from death, a hundred times, at the hands of barbarians. The public will await with much anxiety J the report of Dr. Livingston's travels.?Si. 1 Louis News. Self-Mode Men.?It is the subject of. frequent remark, that most of the distill- j gui*hcd public men of America, were the j architects of their own fortunes, and either j in a great measure self-educated, or, if they J enjoyed the advantages of a college education, were in no wine among the most distinguished there. Of the multitudes of young inen, who every year take the first j honors at colleges, we somehow or other hear very little afterwards. Wo make this remark froin no desire to disparage college education, but it is a curions fact which we should like to see accounted for. On the other hand, under the quickening impulse of poverty, hosts of bright and ener? I getic spirits ure daily forcing their own way ' into the front rank of evory department of iiQAful iiwlnalrtr on/1 />nfAm?ioA ? >*! ?*?Ia %.wv/> ?. J itou I#* nuu lUfcV WO most influential public stations, without the advantages of college education. In Great Britain, howover, the very revcrso 6ecms to be tlie case. The lending men of the Cabinet, of tho House of Lords and Commons, on the Bencl), at the Bar and in tho Pulpit, are now and long have been men who.graduated at the Universities with high, often tho highest, distinctions. Certainly, all tho departments of public and professional life are quite aWWbly &hd efficiently filled in Great 'Britain as in temw.-Richm6M DhipaM; "" SENATOR BUTLER. I The following graphic sketch of Senator Butler, we extract from a letter published in tho Charleston Courier : We commence with one who is universally conceded to he the most unique and original intellect in the Senate. Though this gentleman (Judge Butler) is a favorable subject, we find the tusk of accurate delineation to he far less easy than we anticipated. Like tho poor artist that had to deal with j the philosopher of Forney, with all our efj forts wo cannot keep him steady to any single posture or expression. Like all men ! of impetuous impulse, lie is restless. One | moment we see liim pacing to and fro the ! space between the chimneys behind the I Speaker's chair, gravely musing on some ' matter of moment?we look nsrain, and lo ! I . # . i he is environed by a living palisade of brother Senators, eager to catch up any chance opinion that may fall from him in a colloquial way?one moment giving the grasp of his warm right hand to some younger Senator?the next directing tho storm of popular debate with a strength of lungs and redundancy of animation as if he had just started fresh for the labors of the day. I The effect of this gentleman's powers arc ! greatly aided by his countenance, which is { one of the most striking that we ever saw ; and yet the peculiarity lies so much in the expression, that we find it not e:isv to describe it. Nature has certainly given the j world assurance of a man in a form, complexion, and mild meteoric locks of this remarkable person. A strong and searching intellect looks out on you from beneath that streaming mass of silvery hair. The face is melt-gar*, but there is a soul in?ihe nooks and corners of its rugged surface.? Every thing about him?his appearance, his style, his daring of tone and spirit remind us of primitive ages when the human heart and the human soul were larger than in our degenerate days. More entirely, perhaps, than any man in public life, lias lie given the South assurance full, ami heaped, ami running over of what he means, ami what was meant hy his ex- ' isteucc. South Carolina has reason to he proud of her venerable son, and prouder . because in d stance and absence he never | allows his heart to travel away from Insna- J live State. This is substantiated by his labors, his speeches, the impress of his whole life. He stumps his image and superscription on all tlpit is sound and solid in the policy of the South. Every Part of his public life shows him to be a statesman endowed in an eminent degree with all the qualities which enable him to discharge the most responsible duties. He has shown, also, that it is possible for the same person to bo a most dexterous and subtle disputant upon a point of law, as well as statesman-like reasoiier upon comprehensive questions. We have enjoyed the privilege of hearing hi.n in the Supreme Court on important cases. There lie seems ' to us to hold the same pre eminence that i._ -i .1 - - - .... I iic u?>v? in me oenaie, 10 uc mosi admirably I qualified for this department. XIis powers of reasoning are wonderful. Givo him the most complicated and doubtful case to support?with an array of apparently hostile decisions to oppose him at every step, lie rises and commences by some general undisputed principle of law that seems per- , haps at the first view not to bear the remotest relation to the matter in controversy; but to this ho appends another, and another, until by a regular series of connected propositions he brings it down to the very point before the court; and insists, nay, demonstrates, that the court cannot decide against him without violating one of its own most venerated maxims. Nothing can be more masterly than the manner in which ali this is done. There ? no ostcn lhuon 01 ingenuity anil research. Everything is clear, siinp'e, and familiar; it is ^ only when we are brought to the ultimnte result that we start at discovering that by imperceptible approaches he has gained a vantage point from which ho can descend upon his adversaries, and compel tlicm to abandon a position that was deemed impregnable. The moment a question is submitted to him, his mind seems to intuitively ?|>ply all the great principles that are favorable or hostile. For the rest he s?ems to depend upon his extemporaneous power of going through the most intricato processes of thought with all the ease and familiarity of ordinary discourse. Alter reviewing the career of this distinguished man, an impartial observer will be disposed to say that as a profound and original mind, he stands in the Senate alone. ' Venerable fur hi* years, venerable for his abilities, venerated throughout the South ' for his fidelity to her interests, high in honors, and * possessing in these tumultuous times, an equanimity and dignity of mind that renders him infinitely superior to mere ' party spirit. Xhia is not the time for settling tb* .precise place he will fill up in the great gallery I of American statesmen; and yet we think we are safe in predicting that he nratt and wM take place with such names as CI*?, Calhoun, Randolph, Marshall, and sheet of other immorUI spirits. WttliMMSAMiMf**.? if* 1id private lire, wis gentleman ie known as a warm sympathizer with every species of genuine excellence; and fearless in the expression of that sympathy. In his frank ' and generous temperament?his forgetfulness of self?ho is said to resemble the lamented Clay. If wo were to pursue the i resemblance into the character of the two | men, the points of similarity would multi- | ply. Thero are deeds in this gentleman's j private life which will never pass away.? | They blend a warm beam with our own j admiration, and prove conclusively that he has a heart as warm as his intellect is ample. Hut this is sacred ground. This (long may it be deferred) must be left for his | obituary. THE DETECTION OF MURDER. iv series ot experiments have recently been made by Dr. Pollock, an occulist of Chicago, to test the trutli of an article pub- j lished sometime since by a celebrated physician in England, which alleged that the last scene viewed by a dying man would j remain impressed upon tho retina as docs | the impression upon a daguerreotype plate. In each experiment that Dr. 1\ has made, he has found that an examination of tho | retina of an eye with a microscope, reveals a wonderful as well as a beautiful sight, and that in almost every instance there was a clear, distinct and marked impression. The recent examination of the eye of J. II. Deardslev, who was murdered in Auburn, conducted by Dr. Sanford, corresponds with those made elsewhere. The following is 1 . * - uic |>u>jiiaiicu uccuunii oi me examination: " At first we suggested the saturation of the j eye in a weak solution of atrophia, which evidently produced an enlarged state of the pupil. On observing this, we touched the j end of the optic nerve with the eitrnct, j when the eye instantly became protuber- | ant.. I "We now applied a powerful lens, aid ! discovered in the pupil the rude, worn away . , figures of a light coat, beside whom was a ( round stone, standing or suspended in the . air, with a small handle stuck as it were in the earth. The remainder was debris; evidcuiiy lost from the destruction of the optic and its separation from the mother brain. Had we performed this operation when the I eye was entire in the socket, with all its - * - jruHcnui connection Willi tlio Dram, there is not tlie least doubt but tlmt we should have j detected the last idea and impression made . on the mind and eve of the unfortunate man. The thing would evidently be entire, and perhaps we should have had the contour, or better still, the exact figure of the ( murderer. The last impression before death ( is alwaj*s more terrible on the brain, fiom ( fear, than any other causc, and figures im- | pressed on the pupil more distinct, which , \vc attribute to tho largeness of the optic nerve and its free communication with the " brain." \ The Farmer and his Daughters.?A ; i laughable incident occurred iu this coun'ry ; 1 some time since, the circumstances of which j 1 we got from one acquainted with tho trans- , I action. An old gentleman farmer, who had ? two handsome daughters, was so cautious of i his charge, that he would not permit them J to keep tl?e company of young men ; however, they adopted the following expedient < to enjoy the company of their lovers : Af- 4 ter the old man retired to rest, the girls ' would iinnir n filipnt. mil nf tlm irin.lour o.wl I J, ? " I ' the beau would seize hold of the sheet, an J i with the assistance of his lady-love, who 1 tugged lustily above, would thus gain an i entrance; but it so happened that one eve- i ning the girls hung out the sheet too early, ; for the old gentleman, by some ill wind, I was accidentally round the corner, and spy- < ing iho sheet, could not conjecture the < meaning of its being there ; so ho caught i hold and endeavored to pull it down; the < girls above supposed it to be one of the < beaux, began to hoist, and did not discover j their mistake until the old man's head was level with the window sill, when one of them exclaimed, "Oh lud, 'lis dad!" and letting ( go the sheet, souse came down the old man , on the hard ground, dislocating one shoul* der. With him to make "old maids" out j of his daughters, was a matter not so easily accomplished ; and withdrawing all further opposition to their keeping company, he was soon a father-in-law. Dead Letters.?During the quarter ending to-day, the openers of dead letters in the General Post Office found 1,900 which contained money. The Aggregate amount ' is Tlirnilflfh tliA vinrilnn<*a !.? ' ? ---I O v. MIO Department, seven-eighths of this money < has already been restored to its proper i owners.? Washington Star. I Nineteen hundred money letters missing * during the last quarter! What a world of swearing these missing letters have made, and nearly 4II owing to the writers them- 1 selves. Mis-spelled names, names rightly 1 spelled, but wrongly pronounced, the clerk ! calling the name one thing and the caller 1 another. Misdirected letters sent to the wrong place,lbe town right, the county or Bute wrong, and so on. Over eleven thousand dollnrs. jniasing in. ldnety^lay?, but over threw fourth* of it restored. That ill. j<K-~JCxchanff9. - ,, . . v Tb?i? Is * far upon the Uitola Look of ONE WHO DIED WITHOUT LIVING. Mr. Paul Legrand, who died at Dijon, Burgundy, at tho ago of seventy, leaves the following memoir, whereby ho proves ho has not lived : All that is suffering, sorrow, ennui, des- j i pair, desire, regret, should be deducted ( from life, because wo should ourselves havo (' deducted it, had heaven permitted. When t threo years old I was weaned; at Bix I i could speak badly; at seven I split my skull; at nine I was curcd. I must, there- ] ' fore, extract nine years from my existence; 1 1 i ? lor sureiy 10 urinK a nurse's sour milk, not ^ ' to speak, or badly, and to split one's skull, < is not living. At the age of nine I began 1 my studies. Owing to my cracked skull, 1 my head was a hard one, and I proved ? stubborn to tuition. I required two years' 1 labor to spell the alphabet. I was indebted 1 to letter Z alone for about fourscore hun- j 1 dred lashes ; the other twenty-threo letters > made a complete martyr of me. At the age of twelve I could read, but ' my body was mangled with alphabet scars. I An attempt was made to teach me Latin, and I lost my French in the experiment.? 1 At fifteen I knew nothing at all, and a 1 forced diet of bread and water had reduced j ' me to tho condition of a skeleton. Six j ] years more had therefore to be deducted.? j At sixteen my father made mo a notary's , i clerk. There coniinenced a new species of -1 martyrdom. I got up at six, swept the . ' office, lighted the stove, was drubbed I by the taller clerks, and my father, over- j whelmed with complaints about me, de- | prived me of my dinner. This life I led for five years, and from life I will positively J < deduct them. | I At twenty, my father, quito disgusted ' with his son, put mo on hoard a ship at1' Clicbourg. I washed the decks, climbed up t the top mast, mended the sails, and re- i ' ccived thirly lashes a day upon my back.? ! ? Dim was endured for four years. At twen- ; ' tv-fonr 111V f-itlmr miila mo " I [ married Mademoiselle Ursula Devousins, s n turner's daughter; her portion consisted . I of 30,000 livres, mortgaged upon a sugar 8 sstate at St. Domingo. The day after the I wedding I found that my wife had a wood- I un leg, made by my lather-in law, the tur- 1 ner. The poor woman made a thousand 1 ipologies for her infirmity, and I pardoned !1 lier out of regard to her marriago portion, c The St. Domingo blacks rose against the s whites, burnt the marriage portion, and the * wooden leg was all that was left to me. 1 At thirty I lost my wife in consequence 1 jf a scrofulous disease. I spent six years I if marriago repenting every minute. I ' therefore deduct these six years from my c life. Having, as everybody else, slept a I Lhird part of my life, I deduct twenty-four pears of sleep, and am below the right reckoning, for I was a great sleeper. A { pear lost, adding minute to minute, in ^ searching for the keys of my desk, which j [ was constantly mislaying. Does one ive when ono looks for a key ? Three j ears lost in having myself shaved, powlered, &c., five years in suffering toothache, nflammations of the chest, with relapses md convalescence. Three years lost in saying "What's j'cloc!: I" 44 We have bad weather to-day ;M ? 'how do you do?" " how is your lady ?" ' I have a bad cold. Malborough ?'en va ^ ;-en guerre?what mud in the street?what ^ i winter this year! Six months lost in [laving the mud brushed off ono, and six ^ iii brushing ones hat. One year of endurance of the entire acts of theatre. One ^ pear lost in listening to the modern dramas, ^ the chief'd cevure of genius not understood. . One year lost in complaining of salt and ^ tasteless soups, of cutlets too much or too undone, of indigestion of hard eggs. Total, seventy-one years. I bog lea\'o to de- ? ilare that in giving up the ghost, I do not ^ give up anything worth keeping. The First Snow Storm in the City of Mexico.?La Nacion, a newspaper of the a City of Mexico, speaks in ita number of the 21st ult., of the snow storm there thus: l1 "Last iiicrht at half past 9 o'clock, a e heavy snow storm brgan which lasteJ s?varal hours. Never havo wo seen this phc- 8 nomenon, so common in altitudes higher than ours, in Mexioo before* It also exci- * ted, to a high degree, the curiosity of the inhabitants of the capital. The thermometer of Iieaumer was one degree al?ove zero, " and maintained itself there during the ^ whole night. The flat roofs of the houses, the streets, the hills which surround the ? city of the lakes, and give her so beautiful ' 8 an aspect, the public walks, all remind us this morning, of the first snow storm we over witnessed, which was last fall, in tho United States and in Europe. Mexico city presented this morning a truly picturesque sight, for thb green leaves of our eternal ! . spring formed a lively contrast with the flakes of snow, whiuh dressed them in an j attire to which they were not accustomed. 1 Baltimore harbor has now been closed with ice so long that there are lying at the m<>*lh of Pabtpscd two hundred res- t sets unable to reach pott, and the creWre*nosed foi great suffering from coM. Sora* >*"? P?n=t?S' fha steamer Sosqn^Annv fitted her ,up as an ice breaker and tow boat, and ' uned her i , HOW MANY MARRY AND LIVE. ! Young man meets a pretty face in tlio ball-room, falls in lovo with it, courts it, marries it, goes to housekeeping witli it, and boasts of having a home and wife to graco it. The chances are nine to one he has neithor. ll?r pretty face gets to be an old story ?or becomes faded or freckled or fret- ! Led?and ns tho face was all he wanted, imd all he paid attention to, all he set up ! with, all ho bargained for, all he swore to ' lovo. honor and protect, he gets sick of his ' trade, knows a dozen faces which he likes better, gives un Btavinsr at home of - . ? ' i consoles himself with cigars, oysters and . politics, and looks upon his home as a very ! indifferent boarding house. A family of children grow up about him, but neither he nor his "face" knows anything about train- ' ing them, so they come up belter skelter; ; made toys of when babies, dolls when boys ind girls, drudges when young men and I women; and so passes year after year, and j not one quiet happy homely hour is known j throughout the whole household. Another young man becomes enamored af a "fortune." IIo waits upon it to partics, dances the polka with it, exchanges billet doux with it, pops i,. a . .,tion to it, jets "yes" from it, ti'kcs it to tho parson's, , weds it, calls it "wife," carries it liome, sets up an establishment with it, introduces it Lo his friends, and says (poor fellow!) ho, too, is married and has got a home. It's false. lie is not married ; he has no home. ; And ho soon finds it out. lie's in the wrong box, but it's too late to get out of it. ! IIo might ns well hope to escape from his zoflia. Friends congratulate him, and he lias to grin and bear it. They praise the liouse, the furniture, the cradle, the new bijle, the new baby?and then bids tho "fur- ' - 1 innre, nnu no wiio husbands it, good norning! As if he had known a good 1 norning since he and that gilded fortune vere falsely declared to Lc one! j j Take another case. A young woman is jI mitten vvilh a pair of whiskers. Curled j lair never before bad such charms. She ets her cap for them, they take. The deighted whi.skers make an offer, proffering hemselves both in exchange for one heart, j ' ['he dear Miss is overcome with mnmnnin.i. i ' y, closes the bargain, carries home the prize tnd shows it to pa mid ma, and calls herself ' :ngaged to it, thinks there never was such i pair of whiskers before, and in a few j ' veeks they aro married?Married ! Yes he world calls it so, and wo will. What ' I s the result ? A short honeymoon, and he unlucky discovery, that they are unlike ' is chalk and cheese, and not to he made >ne, though all the priests in Christendom >ronounco them so. furson Brownloio and his Joneshoro' Customers.?The last Knoxville Whig con- ' ains a characteristic and pathetic appeal < rom its editor to his former customers at ' onesboro', where the Whig was originally luhlished. IIo ofters to take bills on the ( Sank of Eii-st Tennessee, which aro worth , wenty ccnls to the dollar, in full payment, ( nd adds: " Persons wishing to square up with us, | ^ an dow do so. If, however, they wish to ( ;et off at a cheaper rate, they can withhold | ( ven these hills, and wo promise during the ( oming year to receipt thein in full through ( lie paper, forever, and file our claims against , hem in the High Chancery of Heaven, iid let them settle witli their God in the ( rorld to come! mum ng.vu ?> xino ui.miguiu uHtnguo, | oopskirts, boot-jacks, broom-corn, babyumpers, fishing tackles, patent medicines, licking pigs, frozen cabbage, old clothes, t Jolt's revolveis, second-band tootli brushes, * ;inger cakes, parched corn, circus tickets, r any other articles found in a country re- * nil store!" ? A rig in the Parlor.?A young lady in j boarding house, very vain of her musical ' ? nlcnt, was one day entertaining the com- , iany with a song, when a crusty old bach lor camo out of his room on the next , loor, and bawled from the top of the , lairs: 44 What aro yon doing with tint pig?? )o turn that pig into the street 1" " What pig?" cried several. i The bachelor descended the stairs, looked 1 nto tho room, and?" I thought I heard a 1 >ig squealing in this room P < The girl never sung afterwards, without < Irst ascertaining that the old bach whs ah ent. "Julius, why didn't you oblong your stay it de springs P ( "Kmc, Mr. Snow,day charge too muchP 41 How so, Julius V " Why, day cliarged dis colored iodiwid- i lal wid stealing de spoous." ^ r? ** Harry, did you ask Hicks for that noney F' I "Yea,?!*." , * What did ho frayf ' " Nothinghe just kicked me Into the ond. Thnt'a all he enid." J -I . < . I. tmiutwHPj . .. , A liule girl hearing her mother observe o nnother Jady Umt she was going into mlf mounting, enquirod whether any of Do^boAt to bi "^aoW? to tanner#, "" PATENT OFFICE REPORTS. Tlio last l'atent OHice (Agricultural) lie* port is tlie best we have jot seen. Judge Butler will please accept our special thanks for a couple of copies. One of them we shall keep. The other will he cut up ns we need it for the printer. Our readers may expect entertaining selections from its pages from time to time. Thcso Reports are admirable thing*, embodying as they do a large umotinl. of wry new ami useful information. Congren# is applying money most judiciously and beneli-ially in the publication of such work*. We think they oilglit to be very largely multiplied ami carried to the highest possible grade of excellence. There ought to be increased promptness too, in pulling them before tho countiy. The repoit of cwli year should be required to he ready early in the spring of (lie following y?nr. Would it not be well to Iijivo two Agricultural Reports every year, one in the spring, the oilier in the fall?the first to be ready for distribution bv August, the other by January. To this end let appropriations be liber:.!! > ide. Out of our enormous treasury, let a huge munificence be lavished upon this department of the public service. Let the Agricultural table be. magnified into a bureau. There is no difficulty in doubling the usefulness of these important labora. Money will command the talent, and all other means necessary to etFeet enlarged improvements in this regard. It should be done. The Government can bestow upon the people of the United Slates no more effectual benefits than would accruc from ample, unstinted appropriations for the objects here indicated. And we trust soma active and energetic member of Congress will taku hold of the matter, and study it u ?.i _ . uitiviuiiy, wiin a view 10 speedy ami docnlcd improvements in this hrnncli of governmental operations. lie would deserve the real gratitude of liis country, mid sooner or later, would receive it.?Ed <jcfield Advertiser. Terns.? In a recent number of the Houston (Texas) News, it is stated that tho present high price of cotton, and the prospect of it still heing higher, seems to huvo snhauceil the value of field hands in all parts of Texas. The True Issue s;?vi n snln was lately made in LtGrange, when 0110 jood field hand was sold for $1720, and iilioiher fur ?iou0. A gentleman from Houston informs us that a good many wagons are now arriving in that city daily, loaded with cotton. For the last two or threo weeks wagons have been very scarce in that city, owing to the bad roads?but the roads are now getting passable. The Cnmanche Indians, near Fort Belknap, are now sending hides, dressed deer skins, buffalo robes, &c., to Houston for sale. A Blondy Crew.?In the reign of King Dharles 11, a club of duelists was formed, in which none was to be admitted that had not fouglit his man. The president of the :lub was said to have killed half a dozen persons in single combat; and as for tho jther members, they took their scats accorJing to the nuinlicr of their slain. There was likewise a side table, tor such as had .lrou... I.t.wul o~.l ..I., - 1.... ,..,j wiuvii) ?? ? ? oiivtni n inuuiiuiu imhitioti of taking the first opportunity to ptnlify themselves for the first tiihlu. Thin jluh, consisting only of 4 men of honor/ lid not continue long, most of the member* >f it being put to the sword, or hanged, a ittle after its institution. A Nexo Guano Island.?The Washing.on correspondent of the Now York Herald lays: " Mr. flowen called upon Secretary Marcy .o-day, and deposited the neccssary bonds ?nd authenticated documents, in aecorlance with the law passed last session, har? ng discovered a guano island, called Somluiro, containg over 0,000,000 tons, kvithin eight days sail of New York. The Secretary informed him that the government would protect hiiu in its occupation with it* strong arm." Over the River !?The Sehnn Rpnnrf??? ?r?' ? the 10th inst., says the trip lias Wen made at last. Yes, dear reader, the car* on the Alabama and Tennessoe rivers railroad crossed the Coosa river on last Friilay evening. The President of the roadf mid a number of others, took tip a cannon with thctn, and fired eighty-fivo rounds, it being eighty-five miles from this city to the foist bank of the Coosa. The President, we understand, rode over on the "cowcatcher." - >?> -jK J How to Manage a Balky Horse.?\i j* niiu, inni ii you win lie a handkerchief jovtr the eyes of a lioraa who balks at a hill, bo will step on as if he were Mind, and aa it there were no hill before him. ' r 'x Men may lose by being too oommuitiea^ , tive. Tlio great laconic philosopher; Shirk, $ _. says : "Keep shady, nud if you see,aqu*r-, ^ tor on the ground, put your foot on Ik." Advice to ilusbanda. -7- To asofrtaui whether your *ifo is jealous, lace up another lady's shoe, and let ber catch yoj