The Kershaw gazette. (Camden, Kershaw Co., S.C.) 1873-1887, October 15, 1885, Image 1
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VOL. XIII. , CAMDEN. S. C., THURSDAY, ^OCTOBER 15, 1885.
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NO. 4.
A SnYaicc.
X>l*?n, a Choctaw, 350 voim of ano,
Hoa killed h minor In a Loadvlllo brawl;
Tried mid condemned, tbo rough-boards curb
their rase,
And watch him strldo In froodom from tbo
ball.
?*lt?turn on Friday, to bo shot to death I"
Bo ran tbo sentence?it was Monday night.
Tbo doad iuuh'b comrades drew a oil-pleased
breath:
T'>0nbr{jfbfht '?n* KtUnbllntf don> *<?ro
Tho days sped slowly; but tho Friday oatne,
And HookOd tho miners to tbo snooting
v round;
*ooy choso bIx riflemon of deadly aim.
And with low voloos oat nnd lounged
around.
"He "HI not come." "Ho's not a fool." "Tbo
men
W ho ?ot tho savago freo must faoo tbo
blamo."
A Choctaw bravo smiled bitterly, and then
Bullied proudly, with raised bead, as Dixon
oauio.
Bllout and storn?a woman at bis hools;
? He motions to tbo brave, who stars hor
tread.
Next rnlnuto?flamo tho guns; tho woman
reels
And drops without a moan?Dixon Is dead.
?John Uoylo O'ltollly.
THE LAST CONTEST.
A soldier, who had won imporisha
blo fniuo oa tho battlo-tields of bis
country was oonfroutod by a gaunt
sirnugor clad all in black and wearing
un itnnonctrablo mask.
"Who aro you tbat you daro to
block my wayr" domandod tho sol
dier.
Tlion tho stranger threw asldo his
mask and tho soldier know that ho was
Death.
"Havo you como for moP" askod tho
soldier. "If so, I will not go with you;
80 go your way alono."
But Doalh hold out his bony hand
nod beckoned to tho soldior.
"No," criod tho soldior, resolutely;
"ray tlmo is not couio. Soo, here'aro
tho historios I am writing?no hand
but luino can finish thorn?I will go
whoa thoy aro dono."
"1 liavo hidden by your sido day and
night," said Death; "I havo hovorod
about you on a hundrod battle-tiolds,
but no sight of mo could ohill your
heart till now, and now I hold you in
tuy power. Como!"
And with thoso words Death seized
upou tho soldior and strovo to boar
him henoo, but tho soldior strugglod so
desporately that ho prevailod against
Doalh, and tiio utrango phantom de
parted alone. Thon wlion ho had gone
the soldior found upon his throat tho
imprint of Douth'a cruel llngors?so
iicroo had boon the struggle. And
nothing could wash them away, for
thoy wore disease, lingering, agonizing,
iHjal dlsoaso. Hut with quiot valor the
?Boldier.roturned to his historios, and
for many days thereafter ho tollod up
c on thom as tho last and best work of
vrjjlls noblo life.
^.?"How thin and palo tho soldier is
b celting," said tho poople. "His hair
^M^bltenlng aujl his eyes are weary.
Ho should not havo undertaken the
Mstorlos?tho labor Is killing him."
Thoy did not know of this strugglo
ritn Doath, nor had they soon tho
I Upon .tho soldier^ tfafrpt- "Ml
io physicians who camo flr him aua
?aw tho mirks of Death's oruel lingers,
?hook their hoads and said tho soldier
could not livo to complote his work
upon whloh his .whole heart was sot.
And tho soldier know it, too, and
many a time ho paused in his writing
and laid his pon ttsido and bowod his
head upon his liuuds, and strovo for
oonsolation in the thought of the groat
famo ho had already won. So when
Death oamo a noooud time ho found
tho soldier weak and trembling and
omnoiated.
"it would bo vain for you to strug
gle with mo now," said Doath. "My
poison Is in your veins, and soo, my
. dew is ou your brow. But you aro a
bravo man and I will not bear you with
mo till you have askod ono favor, which
1 will grant."
"Give iuo an hour to ask tho favor,"
said tho soldior. "Thero aro so many
things?my historios and all?givo mo
an hour that I may dcoido what I shall
nskP"
And as Doath tarriod, tlio soldior
com tun nod with hlmsolf. Bofore ho
olosod his oyos forovor what boon
should ho ask of DoathP And tho sol
clior s thoughts apod buck ovor the yenri
nnd his whblo life came to him liko a
lightning ilash--the companionship and
smllos of kings, tho glories of govern
ment and political powor, tho honors
of poaco, nnd joys of ooiiquost, the din
of battlo, tho Bwoots of a quiot homo
Hfo upon a western pralrlo, tho gentle
devotion of a wlfo, tho olnmor of noisy
boys and tho faoo of a llttlo girl?ah,
there bis thoughts llngored and olung.
' "ximo to oorhpleto our work?our
? books?our histories," oounsolod am
bition. "Ask Death for llrao to do
fi< i. ' orowning act of our great
But the soldier's oars woro deaf to
tbo orlOs of ambition; thoy hoard anoth
er voloe?tho voice of tho soldior's
h?*f^~nnd tho whlspored "Nellie
?Nollle?'Nellie.V That was all-no
other words but those, nnd the soldior
strugglod to his foot, and* strotohed
forth his hands and oallod to Doatb,
and hearing him oolllng, Doath oame
to him and stood before him.
"I have made my choice," said the
soldior.
"The books?" askod Doath with a
.soornful smllo.
"No, not them," ?.jild tho soldier,
"but my llttlo girl?my Nelllel Give
?me a lease of life till 1 havo hold her In
those arms, and thon oomo for mo and
1 will go!"
1 lion Doath's hideous aspeot was
ohanffotlt his storn features relaxodnnd
? look of pity oamo upon them. And
Death said, "It ?hall bo so," and sav
ing this he went his way.
Now the Soldior's child was far away
""J?!'rom where the
aoldlor lived| beyond a broad, tempost
uous ocoaw. Sho was not nsyou might
suppose, a little child, although the
soldier spoke of her as suoh. She was
a wife and a mother; yet oven in her
womanhood sho was to tho soldier's
hesrt the same llulo girl tho soldior
had held upon liU knoo many and
many a limn while his rough nands
W4Havnd pralrfa flowers In hor soft, fair
otws. And the soldier oallod for Nollle
no*? J"8* M '?? did then, when she sat
on hlj knoe and prattlod of her dolls.
This Is tho way of tho human heart
It having been nojsed ahont that the
soldier was dying and that' Nollle had
?,or ft01"0** the sea, all the
poople tied ivlth eaoh other in sooth
ing the last moments of the famous
Uaaii, for he was bolovod by all, and all
were bound to him by bonds of patri
a,ooe J10 *o
brafe a soldier upon the battlotioidsof
Du* 5* *9ldt9r <?id not
JolS> -Xmpfcthy<
Sfl)r of Ne,n*'*nd
oomfYig.
wd pressed
*? :
His oaua, ana laiKoa ui mo times nuvu
they wont to tho wars togothor; and
the old comrade told of this baltlo aud
of that, and how such a victory was
won and how such a city was taken,
But tho soldior's oars hoard no sound
of battlo now, and his oyos could sco
no flash of sabro or stuoko of war.
Bo tho peoplo caiiio and spoko words
of vonoratiou and lovo aud hopo, and
?o with quiot fortitudo, but with a hun
gry heart, tho toldior waited for Nellie,
his littlo girl. I
Sho caino across tho broad, tompest
uous ocoau. Tho gulls How far out
from land and told tho winds, aud tho
winds blow further still and said lo tho
Bhip: "Speed on, oh ship! speed ou in
thy swift, straight course, for you
are boariug a treasure to a father's
hoart!"
' Thon tho 6hip loapod forward in hor
pathway, aud tho waves were very
still, and tho winds kopt whispering:
"Speed on, O ship," til! at last iho ship
was cotno to port and tho littlo girl
was claspod in tho soldier's ariua.
Thon for a soason tho soldier seemed
quito himself again, and people said:
"Ho will livo," aud then prayod that
ho might. But thoir hopes aud pray
ors woro vain. Death's soal was on tho
soldior and thoro was no rolcase.
Tho last days of the soldier's lifo
woro tho most beautiful of all?but
what a mockory of ambition aud fame,
and all tho grand protontious things of
lifo thoy wore! Thoy woro tho triumph
of a human heart, aud what is hotter or
purer or swootor than that?
No thought of tho hundred battlo
fields upon which his valor had shown
conspicuous camo to tho soldier now ?
nor tho ocho of his otorual fame?nor
ovon yet tho murmurs of a sorrowing
people. Nellie was by his sido, aud his
hungry, fainting heart fed ou her dear
lovo aud his soul wont back with hor
to the yoars long agono.
Away boyond tho western horizou
upon tho prairie stands a little homo
ovor which tho vinos trail. All about
it is tho tall, waving grass, and over
yondor is tho swalo with a legion of
ohattoring black-birds perohod on its
swaying roods and rushos. Bright
wild flowers bloom on ovory sido, tho
quail whistles ou tho pasturo fonco, and
from his homo in tho chimney cornor
tho crickot bogins to chirrup an echo
to tho lonely bird's call. In this little
Erairio homo we soo a man holding on
is kneo a littlo girl, who is tolling him
of hor play as ho smooths hor fair curls
or strokos hor tiny velvet hands; or
porhaps sho is singing him one of her
baby songs, or asking him strange
quostions of the groat wido world that
is new to her; or perhaps ho binds tho
wild flowors sho has brought into a lit
tlo nosegay for hor now gingham dross,
or?but we boo it all, aud so, too, does
tho soldior, and so doos Nollio, and so
they hoar tho black-bird's twitter and
tho quail's shrill call and tho cricket's
faint ooho, and all about them is tho
sweet subtle, holy fragranco of mom
ory.
And so at last whon Doath camo and
the soldier fell asloep forovor, Nollio,
his littlo girl, was holding his hands
by tho smile that rostod on his faco
whon ho was dead you might havo
thought the soldior was droaming of a
time whon Nollio prattlod on his knoo
and bado him weavn tho wild flowers
in her ourls.
Klllurnoy Helped by tho Prlnoo.
"Killarnoy," wrir.os a correspondent,
"is already roaping bonolit from tho
prince's visit. Tho hotola nro almost
lull, and the soason improves as it ad
vanoos. Tho singular foaturo of this
yoar's oxperionco is tho way strangers
havo trooped in. Moro than 60 por
oont of tho guosts havo orossod thosoa,
and tho company at ono hotel last wook
includod a Dano, an Austrian, and two
Gormans. ' Tho Yankoo olomont ono
moots largely, but ono oxpoots to moot
it largoly. 'lho Irish visitors aro ohiolly
brides?with thoir appurtonant brido
grooms, tho display of now wodding
rings at tho broaKfast tabios quito riv
aling n jowelor's stook. Tho royal in
fluoncc is folt along tho gap and by tho
luko. His royal highness would appoar
to have boon personally oonduotod by
many of tho guides, rowod by most of
tho boatman, and suocossfully solicited
by all tho boegars. Tho piaco whuro
he first drank illicit whisky and tho
spot whoro 'that big lady out of Lon
don* (tho princess) Inst drank goat's
milk aro polntod out onorgotlonlly but
variously. Thoro is moro uuanimity
about tho oxaOt plaoo whoro a wood
cook rose and whoro a rod door do
scondod, and in fact tho prinoo and
f>riuco9s arO already regarded as rank
ng pari passu with CrDonoghuo and
Kato Kearney. I must not omit," adds
our correspondent, "ono bit of repar
tee which 1 myself overboard. My
guide soowlod at a poasant who starou
well at him. 'You'll know mo ngain if
you moot mo,' said my guido. 'Not if
you wash your face,' said tho peasant."
/'all Mull UastUe.
Hanonok's Courtony to Gordon.
Gon. Gordon retatod an inoldont of
his experience in Now York whloh np
f>earoa to havo touohod him vory doop
y. He was oompllraontod in tho first
plaoo by being invited to aot as aid up
on Gon. Hanoook'* staff. Whon ho
oallod to report for duty ho was hand
ed an ordor whloh dirootod staffoflloors
to tako thoir positions in tho lino ao
cordlng to their rank. Gon. Gordon
was embat-rassod whon ho road this.
He had hold ono of tho highost ofllcos
in tho oonfodorato army, but undor tho
existing ordor of things he had no
rank. Bo ho solved tho voxod question
of his position by going modostly to
the end of ' Mno below ovory one of
the rogulnr army oflloers down to the
humblest. Hut ho was not permitted
to remain thoro. An aid from Gon.
Hanoook oamo galloping up and di
reotod Gon. Gordon as tho ranking ofll
oer to take ills position at tho hoad of
the staff noxt to Gon. Hanoook himself.
This recognition of his old grade doop
ly touohod Gon. Gordon, not that he
oarod anything for tho position Itself.
Ho is too muon a man of tho world to
bo movod about tritios, but tho spirit
of courtesy and frlondlinoss that dio
tated tho offer stirred his chlvalrms
nature to Its fullest depths. Again at
the tomb (ion. Gordon foil baok, doold
Ing to ylold ?.iu placo to some of Gen.
Hanoook's rogular military assooiatos.
But even thon ho wss foiled by tho
watchful-uourtosy of Gon. Hanoook.
Word oamo quietly to (ion. Gordon
that he was out of position, and ho was
direoted to move up above Gen. Kogor
Jonos and hold his place to theoloso of
the ceremony.?N, K World,
All of the old California mining
town* are in a doOayod or dcoaylng
condition. Some of them, most flour*
lshlng from 1&49 to 1864 or 1866, are
blotted from existence and lost to
memory, save In the immediate neigh*
borhood w^iere they once stood.
' v.. .
SSfv ; ? <
12AHLY OHIO WK1TLK11S.
Mnnankcli Cutler** M.mloii for tl?? Ohio
Coiup.my?Tim t*lont??-r Hottlrra.
It was now docidod to mako direot
and immediate application for the pur
chuso flNand iu the territory north
west of tho Ohio rirer, and as on agent
to nogotiato with Congress tho assooi
atos chose ono of thoir own nurubor,
tho Rev. M:\nasxch Cutlor. pastor of a
litllo Congregational church in tiio
hatnlot of Ipswich (now Ilaiuiltou).
Massachusetts.
The company could have employed
:io bettor man thau Dr. Cutlor. In tho
primo of lifo. forty-live yeurs of age,
lie was, perhaps, second ?u general ge
nius and culture to uo living Ameri
can, except Franklin, and his name
possossod a prestige in tho li'.ornrv and
scientific circles of Boston, Now York,
and Philadelphia. Sinco his gradua
tion from Yale, twootv-two years be
fore, ho had studiod and ta^n do^reo9
in tho threo learned profession . .iivin
ity, law, and medicine. His education
was ono of unusual solidity, aud the
versatility of his genius was attosted
by tho fact that in addition to his cler
ical dutios ho had writtou upon iuo
toorology, astrouotny, and botany.
His strength was rondurod readily cf
fcctivo by tho possession of a koon in
sight into human nature aud of a court
ly graco of conversation. Ho was
further qualifiod for tho duty ho was to
undertako by his doop sympathy with
tho Rovolutibuury soldiers. Ho had
boon among them as chaplain through
two campaigns.
Had Dr. Cutler gono forth as tho
ambassador of a poworful nation, his
mission could not have boon tnoro vast
ly important than it was iu his capaci
city as agont for this fooblo, struggling
colonization sooioty, nor could it nave
domandod more consummate tact Ho
journoyed in humble stylo iu his ono
horso shay or gig, and thoro was nothing
in tho appoaranco of tho quiot, com
fortable, dignitied Now England par
son, leisurely jogging along tho coun
try roads of Massachusetts and Con
necticut, suggostivo of tho mighty iu
Uuonco ho was to oxort in moulding
tho futuro of tho West aud of the ua
tiou. Ho loft his homo in tho latter
part of Jimo, preached in two towns
(Lynn, Massachusetts, and Middle
town, Couuocticut), whore ho lurried
for Sunday rost, and arrived in Now
York, where tho Continental Congress
was then in session, on July 5, "by tho
road," he chronicles, "that enters tho
Bowery." Ho put up hi9 horse ,4at
tho sign of tho 'Plow aud tho Harrow*
iu the Bowery barns."
Tho work which this man was to
perform in Congross was twofold. Ho
sought to purchase a largo tract of
publio land at the most advantageous
torms posBiblo, and to procure such
legislation for tho territory as would bo
satisfactory to thoso iutondiug immi
gration to it. Tho purchase would
have boon almost ontiroly valueless, in
tho mluds of a majority of tho Ohio
Company associates, if llioy could not
havo it clothod with tho laws to which
they woro acoustomod. They wer.e ftl
moit to a man tolly in aooord jjritk jtbo
njiiiu miuAmMP-fWHV nude Jit
prohibited slavory in Massachusetts.
TIjus it oarao about that the prospect
ive purchase was used as a powerful
lovor to effect tho formation aud pass
ago of tho ordlnanco of 1787, or as it is
commonly callod, tho Ordiuanco of
Freedom. The details of tho plau by
which Dr. Cutlor accomplished hi9
dual object would fill a voluiuo. In
brief, ho used ovory argumout, ovory
olemont of personal persuasion, ovory
art of diplomacy, which oould havo an
offoct in his favor. Ho picturod tho
noods of tho bravo mou who sought to
mako tho purchaso aud tho debt of
gralitudo tho nation owed them. Ho
urged as an important consider
ation tho roveuuo which would accrue
to tho government from tho salo, and
from othors which would probably
quiokly follow. Thoro was at this
timo a strong fooliug of disaffection in
Kentucky, and immediate danger that
that torrltory would ombraco tlio first
opportunity to join her fortunos with
Spain. Tho planting beyond tho Ohio
of a strong colony of mon whoso pa
triotism was unquestioned, Dr. Cutlor
arguod, would bo a measure woll oal
ouiatod to bind tho Wost to tho East
and promoto union. Virginia and the
South generally woro intonsoly patriot
ic, and it is probablo that this consid
eration was of groat importance in the
opinion of thoir dologatos in congross,
and lod thorn not only to favor com
paratively oasy torms of salo to tho
Ohio Company, but to permit tho on
aotmont of such an ordinanco as that
body of mon dosirod. Up to this tlmo
ovory ordlnanoo for tho govornmont of
tho Northwost Torritory containing an
antislavory olauso had boon votod
down, and ovon tho inoporatlvo ordi
nance of 1784, of whioh Thomas Jeffor
son was tho author, had bofore its pass
ago boon shorn of its artlolo prohibit
ing slavery aflor tho yoar 1800. Tho
oruinanoe before oongress whon Dr.
Cutlor arrived in Now York contained
no restriction of slavory whatever.
Still, it had come down to tho 9th of
July, and passod its socond reading.
Upon that day was appointed a new
oommltteo, whioh was prouared to au
thorlzo to proparo and submit a plan
of govornmont for tho Federal torrl
tory, and four days lator, upon tho
13th of July, tho rosult of thoir labors,
tho Ordinanco of Froodora, passed.
Tho committoo had sont a draft of tho
ordinanoo to Dr. Cutlor, "with leave
to mako romarks and proposo amend
ments, and ho found afterward that
tho amendments suggostod by him wore
all raado, oxoopt one (relation to taxa
tlon), whioh was bettor qualiUod.
Thoro is evidence extant, indlsputablo,
that tho moasuros introduced bv his
agenoy, and tho passago of whioh was
seourod through his sagaolty, wore
thoso forevor proscribing slavory and
onoouraglng religion, morality, and
eduoatlon.?Alfred Matthews, in Harp-?
?r's Mayaiine for He/itember.
North Carolina In roooivinsr the ben
oflt of a steady How of Immigration,
tho average numbor of immigrants por
month b(3ng niiout 160. Tho Btnto
Commlssftnor of Immigration snys that
thny ooino mainly from I'onhsvlvanlA,
hut all tho Middlo mid Now Kngland
HlAtos nro represented. Most of tho
nowoomors nro fnrmo? or mechanics.
Tho majority go to tho western part of
tho stato. Charleston, Hwnln county.
la tho obleotivo point of many. Dr.
Clark Whittler, brother of tho poet,
John G. Whittinr, hits bought 60,000
aores of land thoro, bolng About one
third of Swain county. . Ilo proposos
to divide it Into 1,000 farms of sixty
aores oAob, And onlthoso to sottle 1,000
fimllui.
From data of his own the oditor ot
the Montgomery (N. Y.) Standard ha*
satisfied himself that the Horseshoe
Falls have worn away more than fifty
feot daring the past thirteen yoara.
J '->k *??... V, ?>., M. - \
People. .
Miss Cleveland's book will pet h?
$60,000.
' Vandorbilt's annual income. If p?IJ
in gold, would wolgh ten tons. -
i George W. CiiihU acts as usher overj
Sunday in a little Long Drunth oluircu.
President Polk's widow believe*
'that "sho still lives in her husband**
? memory."
\ Sam Jonos calls bis coarso and un?
grammatical style "tho nigh out in th<
English Liugungc."
Dr. J. M. Riggs, of Hartford, Conn.,
olaims to havo uuearthed tlvo first speo*
imons of a new potato bug/
8lr Moses Montetiore is called by one
of his oulogists the most illustrious Jew
since David and Solamon.
? Chief Justice Waiie is in Scotland
trying to recover bis health by oatlng
oatmeal in nil its native wildnoss.
Frank It. Stockton, tho story-toller,
"has soft brown oyes in which Lis gon*
tlo humor shinos as ho speaks."
l)r. Prime's ostato is ostimated at
$300,000, most of whloh ho is said to
havo mado out of editing tho Ob
server.
James llussoll Lowell will rosume
bis litorary labors in Amorica by writ
ing a biography of Nathaniol Haw
thoruo.
Walt Whitman is tho ohiof curiosity
in tho town of Cumdon and erory street
car drivor loves to talk to strangers
about him.
George R Sims,who wroto "The Cry
of tho London Pjor," is about to pub.
lish what seems u soquol to lt,"Roguos
and Vagabonds."
Speaker Aldrich, ol tbo New Hamp
shlro Houso of Representatives, Is so
liko president Clovel&nd that he Is
sometimes addrossed as Mr. President.
Judgo William T. Crow, of Carnes
villo, Go., has all his tlx ohlldron and
forty-sovou grandchildren living within
a mile of tho old homostoad
Lord Tonuvson's poom on the mar
rlugo of tho Princoss Uoatrloe is re
ferred to us an oplthalamium by one
writor. Whon poetry gots awful bad
it is hnrd to Una a narao for it
Dr. Tift'any says Grant told him thai
all musio seemed to afl'eot him as dis
cord would tho sonsitivo, sklllod and
cultured oar. Ho would go a mllo out
of his way rather than liston to a band.
Popo Loo's oucourugemontof histori
cal studios has beeu such a markod fea
turo of his policy that the papal medal
commemoratlvo of tho eight years of
his pontificate, just struok, bears * fig
ure represouting History.
Mot-iz Jokai is a Hungarian novelist,
not u nowspapor funny man, ?s the
uamo might iudicato. Ho has hit upon
a good plan for disposing of, tho auto*
graph boro. Ho announoos that ho la
willing to sond a p>ago of his nianu- 1
script, with his signature, to any porr
son who will send two florins to a ooiv
tain oharitablo Institution of whloh *
i? a member.
Ho states that the great pbot's
name, Victor, Is really only a Franco
Latin substituto for tho true name of
Hugo's father, Siglsbett, whloh means
"brilliant with vlotory." Ho says that
thore is amplo documentary ovidonco
to provo that Victor Hugo's ancestors
wero Gorman artisans.
Miss Catherine Wolfo, the philan
thropist and roligious arohroologist, is
not a "Gardon ol Eden orank" tTieRov.
Dr. William Hayos Ward oxplalns, and
it was not with the objeot of vorifylng
tbo Garden of Edon story sho sent him
to Asia; although ho addsi "I havo
thought it worth while to mention that
it was in tbo city of Slppara, the slto of
which was dlseovored uy tho Wolfe ex
pedition, that tho Chaldean historian,
llorosus, Bays that tho records of the
antediluvian world wore buriod, by the
command of the gods, that thoy might
bo dug up aftor tho flood."
?Compiled by the Detroit Fret Prett.
The Hair of Ann Arbor Student*.
The ^pompadour hair-out worn by
Ann Arbor students is solf explanatory,
and tho only thing of its kind known
to famo. It is suvorely olassloal, Julius
Ci?9ar having boon taken down with it
the night he rollod up his trousers logs
and waded aoross tho Hellespont The
barbor who performs tho delloate oper
ation was pullod groen and ripenea to
order. He has got the business down
flno and oan talk his oustomcrsto doath
in all tho anciont and modern lan
guagos. Ho always makes ohange in
English, however. Tho student pom?
padour is low-nookod nnd short-sleeved
on tho sidos, and is out on train over
the skylight of tho intolloot This
builds tho head up in tho swamp lands
which nature ofton glvos ovor to hard*
ness of heart and imparts a collegiate
turn of mind to the arohlteotural plan
of tho wholo stago business. A young
man ofton enters tho university with a
head oonstruoted on the oottage plan,
with all tho bedrooms downstairs, and
leavos It, aftor a few years of intimaojr
with tho pompadour barbor, to all ap
nearanoes a thoroughly reformed man.
Nature has a way of gottlng tired
sometimos, and lying down besida her
work and going to sleep before tha
suppor-bell rings. This gives the Ann
Arbor barber a ohanoe to demonstrate
whoroin ho knows moro about his bus*
inoss than tho original arohitoot
pruning from tho aide of the head and
putting on a hip root whero nature had
lot it go at composition, he generally
raanagon to impart an air of intellectu
ality that is warvantod to hatch chiok
ens from door-knobs. If the patient
has boon playing with tho university
for sovorul yoars, tho intolloot is allow
od to projoot ovor the brow, to indioate
that Roats insido aro soiling at a pre
mium. This 1* tho onlyN true reason*
why Ann Arbor students are longer
hoadod than tho ront of mankind.?De
troit Journal.
Liko (Ion. Grant, the flrit Napoleon
diod of cancer. In his oaso tho oanoer
was in tho stomaoh instoad of in thi
throat. It cftusod him muoh severer
naln than Grant suffered. Toward the
Iant ho could not digost Ids food. He
was tormontod by a constant thirst
His pulso beat with a foverish qulok
nens. He improvod, grew worse, and
had all tho hope, depression and de
spair that marked Grant's illness. Un
liko tho Amerioan soldier, ho did not
retain 'Is mental faculties to the laat
Tho ? jumstanoes were different
Napoloon was a vanquished man* a
prisoner deserted by hit wife, and inr*
rounded only by tite members of his
military family. His last word* ra*
ferred to his son and the army. Grant
not only suffered less, but hl? laat
hours wero brightened by a thousand
loving words and tributes from wifa
and ohildren, old army comrades, hit
former foes, and themoet distinguished
man of the world.
lit* Oonqttitror and tho Eiic
lleh Fore^ta.
the Conqueror, like Kiug
?Hook muoh Delight in Huut
' V acoordiug to c:gblooiilh oon
jriaus, "had suoh u Fury for
Ithat Passion that ho resorved
ig and Spotting in bid Forests
U or to auoh Of lio thought
r to indulge." Tboso chroniclers
rocood to give a torriblo picture
King depopulating largo tracts
ipelure In order to form a New
tltbough be alroady bad sover
it country?"turning out all tbo
Inhabitants, destroying the Housos,
Gardens, and eveu Cburchos, which
stoodlln that tract of land in order to
tuakait a desert." This viow of Wil
lianpTconduct with regard to the Now
Forest has fallen before modern exam
ination. of'Hho district. The Koltic
and Wost Snxou barrows nre still to bo
scou^tho sites of the dwelling of tbo
Ro&uns are clearly vjslblo. The pot
ter's-work, loft carelessly upon tho
grotiud by tbo Roman not tors, in found
tffedftarbed and unbroken but u fow
inches below tho surface. What can
account for tho total disappearance of
ever# traco of those bouses and church
es which William destroyed?some 50
churches, n* it is staled in certain
chronicles, and, of necessity, a number
of viragos to bouso tho people who
worpttlped thero. Tho ouly two church
es entorod in MDomosday," thoso at
Broken hurst and Mllford, still stand;
and Unmodiatoly after the afforestation
two ,new ones wero built in tbo very
of tho wild forost, one at Boldro
0 at Hordlo. Most of the "cas
tho forests woro rnoroly earthen
iehmonts made by tho Kolts and
?8axons: and though a few for
est --ftamos end in ton, which indionte
thee&iitenoe of somo soattered homo
ate aqs/ many more end with hurst,
S-- eatts "wood." Then thoro are
met as Boyd on, the rough
^d; li rams haw, the bramblewood(
r, the fursy ground; Stookleigh,
rpody place; and Staneswood,
tod, aud Test wood. Modern
ties consider that William did
unit the folly of turning a liigh
Ivated district into a, dosort,
the doer wonld havo found no
for many years; but that ho
oonverted a wild woodland into
forest Yteue, tho "furzy couu
jbeoame the New Forost A gr&at
Eirt of this district whloh he afforestod
o alroady held in demesne. It all now
became subieot to forest laws. There
wemtahabltaittii, even manors, within
tWwtatt thtoe'had to .submit to its
itefftnd werr grsnted Its privl
" In tbe Charta de Forests of Ca
icntlon is made of horsos, cows
lid goptt, which wero protootod
forost, sod also of ocrtaln prlvl
(the people. 8o> under Will
ere wero homesteads to whloh
wero attached of posturing* oat
>diftg s trine, and catting of tim
d turf, %vora Jaws *x" '
la hunting tha jloer,, as
But It
jdld
90S
fhtcr off
T.jiuse b?J wished to maiteo.
-;4 raiio Of slaves; and In the for
woll understood to bo a muoh
lighter offuuso to kill a man than a
doer. Aud so tho story grow of his
cruolty and tyranny. In this forost
William the Ku'd was killed, and his
brother aud nupbew; tho rocords of
their strange aud sudden deaths uro
very unsatisfactory, aud tradition has
attributed thom to the vougoauco of
Houven, visiting William tho Couquor
cu's cruelty upon his descendants. It
seems most i.robab.u that Kutus was
the viotiin of a conspiracy, and that
bis brother's and uophow's deaths wero
merely accidents in name. ? The Jitiy
hsh illustrated AUtyuziiie.
How l-'lylM& Pis!, l?'ljr.
An oxocllout opportunity of obsorv
ing tho atrial moans of propulsiou in
the flying tlsh was afforded mo during
\ six days' oalua lately whon crossing
tho Bay of Bengal. I watched day by
lay some hundreds rise undur tho bows
Df tho fhip. Tho wntor surfaoo was a
plasty oalin. As each tlsh roso it
iproad its wings at once, apparontly
boating tho surface with tlioni two or
thruo strokes before tlioy steadied out.
[ Bay apparently, for it was not a deli
alto boat so much as a struggle to riso.
Tho tail which, of courso under wator
was in rapid motion to escapo from tho
ihlp, now gave ton or a doston rapid
boats, which could bo conntod by tho
ripples on tho still surface, and tho tlsh
was off in aerial (light.
As ouoh tinh iost tho impetus of tho
Qrst Vise, which generally happened at
about forty yards, theidnooutars show
ad us tho anal fius, which had till bow
been fully extended, drooping to fool
tho water. As soon m tho surfaoo was
fait the tail was introducod and five or
lix smart strokes, also indloated by
ripples, brought tho impetus up again
sua carried tSo fish about anothor
thirty yard', when anothor drop sont
it oh again, and so forth, some of tho
Dlder fish travollng in tl>i? way 400 to
iOO yards. The younger iish frequent
ly fell awkwardly in this attempt to
regain impetus. When waves are
runbing It requiros a olevor fish to
galti impetus by a few Judicious strokes
gn the orest of a wave, aud many a
1th tumbles over in tho attempt
I bnoo saw a fish rite olose to tho
ihtp's quurter, and U flow parallol with
the ship, pursued bOlow by a dolphin
ufta. The latter folfowod Wory
of tho fish, kooplng almost un*
, At the first dip of tho tall the
uor mado a dart forward, but
d It, and again doggod its prey
i)j keeping Jun undor It On tho soo
in I dip the tail went into thopursuor's
M' uth, and thore was an oud of tho
ir. It always struok mo that it
w med a strain on the fish to koop tho
tfi Igs e* to ruled.? Cor. Nature.
?s
< oL Henry W. Cleveland. well known
i * Journalist In Georgia and as tho
Dk graphor of Aloxandor H. Stephens,
1a 7 one dayi "Tho death of Na.
f>c leon perhaps ohanged the wliole
so irse ofm* life." "In what way?"
fell, I wo* in London shortly after
,h i ex-Kmporor arrived at Chiselhurst
It* m his German prison. 1 was known
In] London as ft veteran Confodorate
:>(|loot and a proposition was mado to
lobompany fronts Napoleon, with a
picked forco, in a seoret and sudden
tesoeut upon Franoe." "Anothor re.
lurn-from-Klba affair?" ' Something
life It 1 agreed, aud the arrango
naf nts were progressing when tho illus
trious exile noouino too 111 to oarry out
Ida project Perhaps it was Just as
*ell for me, but I have always won*
lered what the rosult would have
If suooessful, it Is possible that
I |would hare been deoorated with the
>n of Honor oross and made a
or a Marshal of franot."
Bernhardt Is said to hare
much of late, and to look all
jrettsof *g?.
PICTUUp-BUYlNG.
Ifuw ArtUti KuMitud In Putting 1'eople
Out of-tlto Humor.
??Lot mo tell you," said a salesman
In tbo picture br.sinoss tho other day,
??that artists as a olass are tbo most
trying and short-sightod pooplo in tbo
world. For iustanco, tboy will actually
try to spoil cacb other's saloi. Tboy
can uot be made to see that whatovor
helps ono helps tl?o market."
"How can thoy spoil ouch othor's
?ales?"
??In manv ways. I'll givo you an in
stance, and will tako a caso that hap
pened a good many years ago, so that
no one's feelings shall be hurt. I had
for a customer a wealthy gentleman,
and had just about persuaded him to
buV a really good landscapo by a lead
ing artist; pneo, $700. In fact, tbo i
gentleman had virtually bought tiic
picture. Ho was just beginning to
spoak about making a payment wIil.i
an artist, a mutual acquaintance,
strolled into the room. Now tbo gen
tleman wanted contirmation of his
judgment, as people often do, and so
appealed to the nrtist coming in, r.ud
asked his opinion of tho purchase. The
artist felt a twingo of jealousy, lie
balanced biiusolf lirst on his heels and !
then on his toes, made opera-glasses
out of his hands, and squinted, at the
pioturo from ovory possible point o(
viow. Finally ho spoKe. 'It is a lino i
Eioture. It is woll conceived, drawing
rst rate, admiruble color. I like the
trees, tho sky, tho water. In fact, it's
an oxcollont work of art. Still, if you
roally want my opinion, I'll tell you J
something- You see that small llguro
in the distance?tho tfguro of a man
lishingP Woll, if you will tako tho i
trouble to lind the soalo of measure
ment, you will discovor that tho man's
lishiug-polo is cortuinly over lifteen
foot long!
"Wheu I hoard that 1 know in a
minuto that my bargain was oft*. Tho
gentleman buying tho picture did not
roly onough upon his owu judgment,
and besides 1 had had experience. Tho
artist criticising the pioturo appoarod
to bo fair and squaro. Ho had roally
givon tho work its due uraise, to begin
with. But he bad got his deadly work
id after all. That sploudid work of
art was spoiled for that purchasor by a
littio brush Btroko intonded to repre
sent a llshing-pole. The gontleman
never lookod at it again that it did not
scorn to him to bo all lishiug-polo, and
ho finally told mo tho fishing-polo had
mttdo the pioturo odious to him, and
he would not buy it"
??And you say that artists often do
that sort of thingP"
'?Yos, thoy'vo spoilod a good many
tales for each other, in my experience.
But, mind you, I don't say that they
havft any malicious intention or always
realize what they are doing. It is the
caslo^t thing in tho' wprld to disoovor
aomo^fctle, trifling, good for nothing
aofeot ILat will turn a pbrson against ?
picturn" ,. y '
?WFsupposo a purchaser is put out
with Sufith's pioturo, doesu't
'-im all tho tuoro likely 't6
^^ry ouQ o< Btownu>P'ji
'I say artists aro i?hort-sightod.~ In mjf
oxperienoo, if a man buys a pioturo
and is- happy and satisfied ovor his
purohaso ho is moro thau likely to turn
around and buy moro pioturos. Tho
nppotlto grows on him. But if ho is
ohlSM and mado to fool dissatisliod
with hH own tasto nud his own judg
ment ^st as ho is about to buy a pict
ure pPis thrown buck on himself,
grows disgusted, and turns bis back on
tho wholo business."
??How do you think tbo tasto for
picture-buying may bo promoted?"
"There's no telling anything about
it. Picture-buying bore in San Fran
cisco comes on at irregular intervals
liko an epidemic. Somotimes 1 think
it conies in wavcB, like hot woulhor, or
liko anything olso we don't under
stand.
"Is it not possible llie trade should
ovor bocotno equalized, and u stoady,
rogular demand for pl-lurea bo ostab
lislied?"
"Woll, if you a<k mo that question,
I shall liavo to toll you that bore again
tho artists are at fault. In dull timos
tho artists go along slowly and care
fully. Tboy growl a good deal, but do
protty good work. Lot the market im
f?rovo over so littio and tboy got per
uotly wild ami turn out pictures by tho
dozon. They roason that If they can
soil a possible throe out o: four pictures
why uot flftoon out of twenty? Tho
consoouonco is they kill tho gooso that
lays the goldou ogg. Tboy glut tho
market with poor pioturos, oxlinust
purchasers at tho oarliost possible mo
mont, and flatton out a boom which
began favorably and might have boon
couxed to last a long time."
"When do you thinx the artists will
learn to manage tlioir binine** a flairs
w'ith discretion?"
"Not boforo themillnunium. " ? iS'a/i
Francisco Chronicle.
Greek Ilrli?an<l?.
A namphlot written by a Grook, a
oavalry lioutonunt, glvos some vory
curious accounts of tlu> system of brlg
andago nn It 1h now oarrlod on in tho
Grwoo-Turklsh boundaries. TI?o brl
grand's code of laws, a? nt present ox*
sting, itt n strange mlxturo of barbari
ty ami chivalry. It contains several
clausoa, some of which run us follows:
"All traitors (o bo killtul and exposed.
Tho rich to bo captured, nnd not allow
ed to depart till they have paid random
and sworn not to injure tho Inigamls
by a relation of their ndv*>turt's to tho
authorities. All soldiora to bo killed.
Tho boarorsof tho ransom to bo rospoct
od and small money to bo given them
on thoir departure. All robber* plot
ting with government to bo killed.
Should a captive escape, his keoper is
to bo hold responsible nnd expelled
from tho band. Never to stonl tho
goats and sheep from tho shophord but
to pay for all taken. To offer gifts at
any monastory or hormitago, by way
of oxplntlon for sin." It Id tho shep
herds Who support tho brigands, and
by whoso moans they are so well hid
front the authorities Thny supply
them with bread, moat, ami wlno.sorve
them as guides In tlmos of danger, and
It Is their ohlldron that are oducatod to
bo brlgAnds and who reinforce thoir
ranks. Immnnso precautions are taken
by the robbers against surprises, They
always travel by night, proooeding In
Mo through the open oountry, never
through the narrow passes, for foar of
ambushes. The smallest object, the
faintest sound startles them, and down
they drop flat on their stomachs till
their confidence is renowed. llofore
starting on any of those journeys, they
alwaya appoint a rendezvous in oase of
separation. Their soonts go on in front,
driving horses or oxen, and habited as
drovers. Under thoir shelter follows
the main body, poeplng cautiously be
neath the oattle to see if an onemy Is
approaching, and behind come the van
Eard, who, if anything is amiss* whls
? like a night bird, nnd tho band dls
oertea.
An Ancctlnle of Mndlion.
A lottor published in the Washington
Posl gives un interesting account of a
journey mado by Andrew Jackson'#
secretary of stato from Washington to
James Madison's e9tato of "Moutpoller"
noar Orango Court-Houso, Va. Aftor
an uncomfortable day and night ride
in an old-fashioned Virginia stago
coach ovor heavy roads, Mr. Living
ston arrived at Montpellor at 1 o'clock
in the morning. Mr. Madison was
arousoifand tho socrotary of stale was
shown to his chambor. Tho latter
savs:
Ho found tho vonorablo fathor of tho
constitution a wan and wasted old man,
whoso hair was blanohod and whoso
form was wastod by blasts of morothan
eighty winters. He had arisen from an
antiquo poster aud curtainod bod and
was sitting beforo a wood lire, and by
his sido stood a small aud simple table,
on which thero burned a single tallow
candlo. Tho vonorablo statesman was
himself curtainod and almost concoalod
by a night-gown that roached to his
foot. But Mr. Livingston said that as
soon as ho had opened up tho con touts
of his solitary embassy to the old soor
ho Bhowod, hko Moses, that "his eye
was not dim. noithur was his natural
faco abated." Ho requested Mr. Liv
ingston to road tho proclamation to
him (meantime ordering auothor can
dlo to bo lighted, Mr. Livingston hold
ing tho papor closo to and betwoon tho
two dim lights), aud durlng^thc road
lug Mr. Madison gave austere audionce,
somotimos suggesting a modification,
an intorlinoation or a slight para
fihrase, but this mentally and subject
voly. Whon Mr. Livingston had iin
ished, Mr. Madison, after somo qulot
rotloctlon, reouostod to have the paper
retaad. Again Mr. Livingston slowly
nritl deliberately read, agaiu tho great
AAd grave constitutionalist from bo
noath his night oap muttered mental
modification. Fiuully, ho asked that
ho might road the dooumont and note
upon it the chaugos or oomiuonts which
Gen. Jackson had requested. This ho
did, and his iutorliuoatlons wore as
terso and beautiful and pithy as tho
pages of tho FeiUralist.
And now tho gray of tho dawn was
stealing through tho curtains. Mr. '
Madison remarked that he had had Mr.
Livingston's oarriago sent back, and
that ho would drive with tho seoretary
In his own oarriago to tho Court-Houso
to catoh tho stage for Frodricksburg
and that thoy would walk down to
breakfast while the curriago was being
propared. It so fell from some mis
calculation that when they roaohed
Orango Court-Houso thoy found tho
stage had already somo tlmo gone. Mr.
Maaison at once insistod that Mr. Liv
iupston should uso his oarriago to Fred
onoksburg, writing and giving tho
couchmau a note to tho landlord of a
tavern midway between tho stagos, or
nearly so, instructing him to furnish a
fresh team thenco to Frodoricksourg
and return. When within somo ten
v miles of Y* -ricksburg tho stage was
ovor take .. J passed, and Mr. Living*
sfon?wus thus enabled to anticipate his
closest calculations. When be reaohed
thu white /house the follewlng^y.ajid
sufnMIMPthfe revised draft to the pros-J
ident, it was formulated and promul
gated in tho form and phrase of the re
vision.
I).vino Kci-?;cn nt the Cnp tol.
Divine services wore hold every Sun
day morning in tho old hall of tho
house of representatives, but whoa the
nuw hull was occupied, and the war
was commenced; congross bogan to
elect Washington clergymon as chap
lains, who pro furred to occupy their
own pulpits, and thus s:\vo tho oxponse
of hiring substitutes. Tho result has
boon that while under tho old plan of
having congressional sorvicos at tho
capitol uoarly all of tho senators and
representatives attended, but fow of
them now ever darkou tho doors of tho
city churchos.
'Iho oUl hall of tho houso, modolod
after a Grecian thoutro, was as impos
ing In appoarauoo as it was unfit for
logislation. Tho talout of sucoosslvo
architects, of tho luxuriant L'Enfant,
tho magnificent Latrobo, and the
practical Bulflnch, aided by tho deco
rations of accomplished sculptors,
foreign and domestic, and sot off by
all tho gorgeousnoss of modorn up
holstery anu Honduras mahogany,
wrought and polished by tho mastor
artists of Now Fork and Philadelphia,
had conspired to mako a room uttorly
unfit for any earthly purposo to whioh
it could novor bo applied, for no mem
ber could hoar what any other mombor
said. At tho bottom of a lofty colon
nado, which rivalod tho portico of tho
Pantheon in magnitudo and aurpassod
it in tho rlchnoss of Its matorials was
tho ourtainod pagoda, whioh, ilko the
poet's nightcap, "a Cap by night, a
stocking all the day," after aorvlng for
six days as tho throne of human legis
lation, bocamo tho chair of pulpit elo
quonoe on tho seventh. There was a
ohoir compoaod of those officers of con
gross who wore singors, with tho wl/eg
and daughters of somo of them, and
hymn books woro provided.
The chaplains of tho sonate and of
tho house, who alternately officiated,
adhered to their respective forms of
worship. Distinguished divines visit
ing tho motropolis woro Invited to ofll
clato at tho capitol on Sunday, and
thus Roman Catholic bishops, llobrow
rabbis, Unitarians, Presbytorians, Epis
copalians, and Mothodists oaoh had an
opportunity for explaining thoir ro
spoollvo creeds. Whonever tho sormon
was too long, and an inspection of
watchos told tho audionco that the
northorn mall had arrived, there woro
visible signs of impatience. When It
waxod later, and resldont auditors,
who wont to tho oltv ohurohos in the
aftornoon, begun to roar that they would
loso thoir own early and frugal Sunday
dlnnor, othor symptoms of disquiotude
wero viaiblo. And when at last the
dlnnor bolls woro hoard from the
neighboring boarding-houses, many of
the audionco woula uncoromonlously
losve, bringing tho nroacher to an
abrupt conclusion. It Is to bo regret
tod that theso congressional sorvicos at
tho capitol havo boon discontinued.
They soctirod tho attondanoo of the
sonators and representatives, not one
ilk twonty of whom now hoar a sermon,
*?d they exerolsod a pleasant influonoe
upon tho asperities of legislation.?
Item I'f.rle.y t'oore.
?. rnm ? ?I ? ? .
(Jon. Grunt did not liko coarse sto
ries. It Is rolatod that on tho (Jener
al's staff in one of his campaigns was
a rough and roady fighter, "full of
strange oaths" and stranger vulgari
ties, One ovoning, in tho ^proionoo of
(ion. Grant and several brother offlcors,
he oponed tho conversation in somo
suoh way as this: "Well, boys, I'vo
got a mighty good thing to toll yon.
It would hardly do to repeat, of ootirso,
in tho presonoo of ladies." "Well,"
Grant Interrupted, in his firm but quiet
way, "allow me to suggest, then, that
it might bo advisablo to omit it in the
preiono?^ gonUojno^/*
WIT AND HUMOK.
Tbo boat English socioty no longer
US03 the I'aU Mall Uatelte (or bustle#.-?
Louisville Courier-Journal.
It is c? ?asy to toll a lie u it Is to
toll tbo truth, but it i* not half so
lonoaomo. ?Uoston l\>st.
Burlington man a iked a doctor
what in his opinion caused tbo most
sloknoss tbo yoar round. The doctor
replied without hositation, "Tbo Pro
hibitory law." ? Lurlington Free Press.
An alleged improvomont on tbo
once fashionable cuckoo clock is ono
in which nu owl appoars instead of tho
cuokoo whon tbo clock strikes, and
"toots" quite naturally. HU daylight
appoaranco, bowover, "is not quite na
tural.?New York Evening PosL
Tho follow who sonU Mr. Clovoland
a four-leaved clovor, ono loaf of which
was stuck on the stow with muollage,
will bavo no inlluonoo with tho Admin
istration liuroaftor. Tho latter may bo
taken iu onco, but it will not bo twlco
by tho samo person.?boston PosL
This is tbo soasou of tho year whon
Lucv and John come in ruefully from
tho back piazza and try to oxplaln to
an unsympatbizlng audience how it
was that Lucy's fragile 100 pounda ha*
brokon dowu tho hammock that her
pa's soljd 185 pounds swung safely in
all tbo uftoruoon.?Someruillc Jour
nal.
Ho was from Louisville. They met
at Brighton Boach. Sho?You-aw
bavo soon Henry Ward Beeoher, aw
supposoP Ho?O yos, often. 8h?-~
Eh, and what do you think of his de
livery P Ho?His doliroryP O yes.
Why I don't think it oquals either
Heokor or Morris, He has no ourve,
you know. ? Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele
graph.
An old darky was proachlng somo
time sinco and be saw ono of h?a con
gregation asleep, so be began: "You
remember when Paul was preaching in
the Temple a damsel was asleep in the
fourth story, and sho fell down, smash
ing all the smashers, and the frag
ments they picked up twelro basket
ful, and whoso wifo will she be in de
resurreotlonP"
Agram, Austria, has a oomlo paper
oalled the Scourge, but it isn't as fuiv
ny as it formerly was. Tho editor has
just gono to tho penitentiary for tvo
voars, with two fasting days thrown
in, and tho publisher got ten months.
A humorous articlo on the Hungarian
Parliament, in whioh the authorities
failed to porooivo the fun, was the
oause of tho troublo.
"His pants ajarm mo so," the maid
on said (referring,* to her poodle,
whioh an unruly oow a chase had led)
as she walked with Fitxnoodle. "Aro
they too tight?" tho untaught Fit* re
pllod; hia indignation rising. (He
thought the maiden's mind no oocu
pied, and her soliloquising). Sharp
ly she turned, and in her pretty head
her eyes glowed like a mousor'si
"111 wed no man so ignorant^" she
said, "ho usos ?pants' for 'trousers!'"
One of the pillars of our State, a
member of the Assembly, with no ed
ucation fospeak or. lnit'plotity bf oon-'
fidenoe and fondness for the sound of
his own roice, grow exoited during tho
last session ovor what he oallea tho
"pressure under a bill."
"There's somothlng mysterious in
that bill," said be. "It struck mo
suddenly, as if a littio bird brought
tbo news. I can soo it in the air; I
can feel it in my bones. At any mo
ment tboro may be an explosion be
neath our foet, and tbon we will seo
how blind wo aro."?Z/arper'a liatar.
"I am bonost in what I say, I'm
bonostl" bo shouted, jumping np and
down and cracking his hools together.
"I want to liok somebody or get liok
ed! I'm spilin' for a fight! I want
goro?gallons of it?an' I am willing
to shea barrels! Gimmo exercise or
gimmo doath!"
Tbo crowd closod in and pounded
him, and walkod on him, anil jumped
on him, and fell on him and whipped
him cold.
Two hours lator his only romaining
oye opened slightly and ho whisperod
with a sigh of oontent:
"Boys, I was honost. This Is para
dlso!"?Drake's Magazine.
American journalism responds nobly
to tho strain imposed by the silly sea
son. A mammoth oave, ohuokful of
writhing rattlesnakes, has been dis
covered in Alabama this week; the
Jaokson (Ga.) Newt has notod tho
stoppago of a grist-mill, owing to all
tho snaVos in tho pond having crawled
out simultaneously to sun themselves,
theroby lowering tho wator-head sov
oral foet; tho Now York lltrahl has
onrlohed the Smithsonian Institution
with a snake Chat has a hoad liko a
pug-dog, jumps liko a frog, and whis
tles, and the New York Times has
firlnted its annual oomlo article on the
rain-boy.? Philadelphia Jiecord.
A year or more ago an auctioneer in
this olty had for sale a lot of homeo
patbio medioinos. All those medioljUHi
woro dumpod into one pile and difbos
od of in ono lot, thore being various
kinds of medioinos in the mass. A
boarding-house koopor bought the lot,
and some days aftor tho parohase the
auotionoer asked hors "What did you
do with that homeopathio mediolne,
Mrs. P" Sho remind: "I thought
I could use it, and It was cheap, and
so I orUshed it under the roller and
filled n * sugar-bowls with it The
boarders soomed to like It, and espoo
ially whon powriorud ovor pies."?uos
ton Traveller.
No, Claribol, we cannot toll you tho
best way to mako clara-frlttors. Wo
bavo novor eaton a clam-fritter. Wo
havo ofton tried to; but wo are com
pelled to oonfoss with shame and hu
miliation that wo havo always failed.
Wo havo oaton h<. no-made boarding
house broad, and wo live to tell it.
And wo Ivuve ovon got away with a
rubbor doll-baby by mistake for a
cruller. But wo havo never yot suo
oooded In eating a clam-fritter. Wo
have managed tTio frittor part, Clari
bol, but tbo clam part has always re
mained to point tho flngor of scorn at
us, ami wo aro willing that It should
do so till 1 itu end of tlnio rather than
tackle It again, Clurlbel.?Punk.
Smuggling from Canada Into tho
United Slides is not only very brisk,
but the smugglers aro bold In avow
ing their business. The following ad
vertisement appoars in papers along
tho border: "tor sale- A farm within
two miles of tho boundary lino at La
collo, Provlnco of Quoboo, on which a
row of buildings has been ereotod
specially for trade purposos. No oth
er house within two miles on either
side of the lino. Coal-houses, under
sheds, stablos, bay scales, eto. The
stand Is well known to the Amerioans,
and all kinds of goods, such as liquor,
butter, horses, grain, bay, eta, find an
oasy channel into the Htates it all
times. A good, active busfnesl-man,
oan clear his $100 a day, or night, be
sides making on an ayerage flO.OOO a
ywol net profits. "?/Mo* Journal.