THE SCHOOL FOR IDLERS.
BY SIMON PURE.
At the next meeting, the President announced
that he had received his first
letter lrom Brother Penn, who, it will be
remembered, was sent out as travelling
committee, to gather usefhl information
for the School. In this matter they could
* AM/MnoltfYr {V\?* fKo
I10L, OI CUUrsc, tiaiiii ui igiuaitij, iui uv
admirable Pitkwickians did the same
thing years ago, but they had the merit
of following a good example, at least.
After the debate, the President said he
would put off the other exercises, and
ask the Society to listen to the reading
of the letter which was as follows:
On Board Steamer "Diogenes' Tub,")
March 12, 18?. >
Dear Friends?Alter waiting a week
in New York, and pondering all the while
which of all the routes offered to my
travelling desires I should choose, as most
instructive and beneficial to the inquiring
mind, whether to go Hoboken or to
? - 1 1
iSrooKiyn, or 10 emoarK on one ui me
Ndrth River barges, or to exile myself in,
a foreign land, and revel among the green
hills and brown marshes of Jersey, I
finally chose a trip to the sunny South,
and embarked upon this elegant steamer.
As fortune would have it, I had been entirely
fleeced in New York, and my last
half dollar was reluctantly paid to the
man who brought my valise and umbrella
on board. But supposing it the ordinaiy
lot of mortals to be X-sponged in New
York, I tried to make nothing of it, and
pursuaded the purser to give me a seat at
the second-cabin table, and a berth when
he could, promising to pay as soon as I
reached my destination. I had never
'been at sea before, and the idea exliilerated
me. I felt about seven fdet high, as
I paced the deck, and though unaccustomed
to smoking, I accepted a very
strong cigar from a savage-looking
Colonel, and went to puffing and spitting
at a furious rate. The marble palace^of
the Yankee Babel faded in the distance,
we passed the forts and the bar, and
could scarcely discern the minarets of
the city of churches; Sandy Hook was
close in sight, and so was the open sea.
The open sea! how my heart jumped at
the thought of it; but something below
my heart jumped fully as much, for the
tobacco was strong, and the swell of the
sea was stronger. .1 threw away the
cigar in disgust, didn't feel as tall as I
did?had to keep swallowing hot saliva
?seemed as if somebody was emptying
a tea-kettle into my mouth. A beautiful
young lady sitting opposite me, whispered
to her father, something to the
effect " that the gentleman \yas horrid
pale." The father whispered in reply
'that he was sea-sick," whereupon the
young lady exclaimed, "How ridiculous!''
and burst Into a lengthened apostrophe,
in which the Arabic words
" hehe " and " telie " were most prominent.
I could but relish her sympathy,
and as I am still young and susceptible,
I fell violently in love, so that I turned
nearly purple. I retreated at once to
my state-room, but the waiter said I
couldn't go in without a ticket. I went
back to the purser and waited awhile for
my ticket, then to the state-room again,
but had to run somewhere else for a key,
and when I got back my agitation hod
been too much for me. The breakfast
for which I had paid 87 cents was at my
feet! I was speedily in my berth, and
as soon began, as I supposed, to recover.
But, on getting up to take a look from
the little window,- with my mouth wide
open to catch the fresh air, I found mv
mistake. The ship gave a lurch, and a
big wave came in at the window, and a
good portion of it went down my throat.
It,made me horribly sick, but when I1
called the doctor, he said it was just the
thing to cure me. And sure enough,
when I had recovered from the effects of
that dose. I could eo upon deck without
any qualms of stomach, and eat my
scanty meals in the second cabin wfeh a
double relish. I suppose the reason
fishes are never sea-sick, is because tfeey
take so much salt water when they go
to sea. Their is a good deal in that.
Well, I had a glorious revenge upon
the girl I loved. When I went upon
dev. , she half recognized rae, and I Was
bold to ask her how she was. She scouted
the idea of being sea-sick. It was blowing
very strong from the eastward, and the
vessel felt it, and so did the girl I loved.
I remarked that she looked pale, but she
didn't believe it. I asked her up to walk
the deck: it was a relief to her as long as
we kept moving, but when I stopped
to introduce her to a friend, she felt the
poetry of motion in her soul. I had no
.?fii -11 -r - ??,i
idea snc uao a sionuicu, uii, mi ui a, ouuden,
a pair of doeskin pants, worth $13,
were in ruins. My passion at once subsided?so
did the young lady.
When we were assembled in the cabin
at evening we had various ways of passing
the time. Sometimes we told stories,
sometimes we sung, and aniorjg the songs
was one I havd thought proper to perpetuate
among the Records of the School
It was sung by a seedy looking individual
who was going South to speculate in
abandoned property. It ran nearly as
follows: ?
SONG.
When I was young and tender too,
I had to mind and had to do
Whatever mother bade me;
She need to keep a walnnt stick
That kept me on the doable quick,
And that woe when she had me.
When I was twelve, and quite a beau
Among the girla, I used to know
A Miss Priscilla Cadme,
And with the help of smile* and nods,
I fell in love at forty rods,
And that was when she. had me.
When I was older, say nineteen,
I thought it time to have a queen.
And asked her if she'd wed me;
She Mid she didnt much object.
Or words to something that effect,
And that was when she had me.
Bnt when, to make the matter straight,
I went up to. negotiate
Affairs with Colonel Cadme,
He said be didn't care to sell,
And told me I might go to ? wofl, ''
Just then was when bo Lad me. "V
r I
hid my sorrows in the cup
Until I got my dander up, *
I couldnt have been madder; ?
Till she proposed that we be one
In spite of pathe thing was done
And that was when I had her.
Two little urchins on my knee,
I'm proud to say, belong to me.
That is, to me and Madam t
For when we left onr native aod.
We passed a year or two abroad.
And then was when we had 'em.
Hopmg the above letter will be of benefit
and amusement to the brethren, I
remain, an reroir, Pen v.
Draft horse for sale.- a large,
powerful, well-trained draft horse for sale
on reasonable terms.
Inquire of Lieut BEEBE, Poet Quartermaster,
Hilton Head.
Military and natal goods.-a
Larsre Assortment of Army and Navy Goods
may be found at the Military Store, 113Ierchanta'
Row. DOUGLAS A CO.
DUNBARS & FRANZ, 10 SUTLERS' ROW.
Dealers in Sutlors' Goods, Wholesale and
Retail.
CN. BELLOWS. No. 8 SUTLERS' ROW,
Dealer in BOOTS, SHOES, CLOTHING,
FURNISHING GOODS, and Sutler*1 Good* of
Every Description,.Wholesale and Retail.
POLLITZER & KUH,
No. 15 Srnxua' Row, Hilton Head, j
WATCHMAKERS.
Always on hand a large assortment of Military
and Fancy Goods i Meerschaum Pipes. Se-1
am, Tobacco, Ac. i
lOffBcia'.t
heaoqimrterh, Deit. of the soctii,
Hh.tox S. C., Jane 3,ISM.
! GtmuOwnt,)
1 No. 81. f
The following circular, from the
War Department, is re-ynbllshed for the information
and guidance of all concerned:
war department,
cibcclar.) Adj*t Gen'i.V office,
No. 3d. ) Waxhingtotx, May 2, ISM.
1. TO pro Viae ior certain capes ui wuwi,
which may arise at the date9 the original terms
of service of Volunteer organizations will expire,
the following regulations are established, ana
announced for the information and guidance of
all concerned. Their execution will be under
the supervision and direction of the Commissaries
of Musters for Corps and Departments:
H18TE8S-OCT AND DISCHARGES FROM VETERAN REGIMENTS
WHERE THRKT-KOrRTOS TME2EOE
HAVE RK-ENLISTED.
I. In regiments where three-fourth (i-t) of the
men have re<enlisled?and which are therefore
Veteran?the organization they may have at the
dates of expiration of term, fsee Sec. 1, General
Remarks,) will be maintained, but all men who
have not re-enlisted, fexcept those who have
joined since date of original organization,) will,
on said date, be mustered out and discharged
the service.
The Musters-ont will be made by the Assistant
Commissary of Mnsters of the Division to which
the troops belong, and that officer will be held
i strictly accountable that the mnster-out rolls are
| accurate, and made ont In accordance with the
[ Mustering R< illation?.
A separate mnster ont roll will be made, on 1
the prescribed form, for the detachment from
eachcompanv.
Particular attention is Invited to the Mustering
Regulations, in bo far as the formal discharge
paper of the Volunteer is concerned. Wee Sec.
5, General Remarks.)
After the mnster-ont and discharge papers
shall have been folly prepared, the Department
or Corps Commander will cause the discharged
men to be formed into detachments, under comgtent
officers, and forward them to the States
se Sec. 6. General Remarks,) to which they re[
epectively belong, there to be paid off, promptly,
under snch regulations as the Paymaster General
may establish.
The senior officer of each detachment will take
charge of the mnster-ont rolls and discharge papers,
and be responsible for their safety until
placed in the hands of the Paymaster
omens fob vcteun EKSixcna.
11. Under paragraph 9. of General Orders, No.
191, 1SC8, it Is announced that officers in service
whose regiments or companies may re-enlist,
(now applicable to regiments or companies
where three-fonrths have re-enlisted.) will have
their commissions and rank continued. To
this end, officers will continue to serve, under
existlug musters, until the original term of their
regiments shall have expired, when they will b?
re-mastered, under their existing commissions,
for three years. To secure the back rank?not
pay?of the grade in which they may be remustered.
the Assistant Commissary of Muster*
will make the following remark upon the remuster-in
roll: ' To rank from ISC..
under Paragraph 9, (General Orders, No. 191,
War Department, 1SC3."
No provision herein will be construed as authorizing
the retention in service of unlit officer*.
All snch should be reported by the Department,
nr Armv Commander, to the Adjutant General
of the Xray, with the view to their discharge.
Mr$tki?-orT or rfoimfnts not victtxan.
II. Where regiments fall nnder the provisions
of Section 1, < Jenerni Remarks, and less than
three-fourths thereof have re-cnllsted, the reenlisted
men and ail recruits (drafted and volunteer]
who have joined the regiment since the
date of its original master-in, [Section 1, General
Remarks,] will be formed into one or more comI
panies of the legal maximum standard, and officered
by such officers as>may be selected by the
Department or Army Commander. The re|
mainder of the regiment will then be placed en
| route to the State, there to be mastered ont and
Bid off in accordance with the .Mustering ReguLions
of the Armv.
In regiments falling under the provisions of
Section ?, General Remarks, ana where less
: than three fourths have re-enlisted, at the dates
I the periods of service of the respective companies
; expire the men thereof entitled to discharge,
and the company officers, [present and absent]
will be mnsterea ont by the As?istant Commissary
of Masters of the Division, In accordance
with the rules enunciated In Section 1, of Paragraph
1. The remainder [re-enlisted men and
recrnits who have joined since date of original
| organisation] will be temporarily assigned to
| the last company to be mustered out. When
the men of all the companies entitled to discharge
have thus been disposed of, the remainder
J will be formed into one or more companies of
th* Wnl maximum standard, and officered by
such officers as may be selected by the Army or I
j Department Commander.
II. Nothing herein will be considered as interfering
with the requirements of Oenernl Orders,
j No. 18i, series of 1S03, from this office.
orrskp-al bkmarvs.
III. 1. Where all the Companies of a regiment
were mustered in within two [21 months ot the
date at which the organization will be determined
by reckoning the period of sen-ice on the 'ihth
of May, 1S61, [that dale is considered as the date
of original organization and master-in of the
Regiment.] the period of sendee of the regiment
will expire May li?th, 1S04, [expiration of original
term] and. at Ihnt date, all the members of
the regiment, except re-enlisted ones, and those
who have joined since date of original organization,
should be discharged.
IL Where there is a difference of two months
or more between the dates of master-in of the
first and last companies, the companies will be
mustered out separately, and the del J and staff
reduced proportionally, and in the inverse order
iu w hich they were mustered in, under Paragraph
S3, Mu^eriug Regulations. The field oliicers,
however, to be mustered out at each stage of the
reduction, will rest with the Commander of the
Army or Department The musters-out will be
made by the Assistant Commissary of Musters
for ths Division.
III. When troops are mustered out of service,
all officers and men, present and absent, who arc
entitled to be discharged, will be considered as
mastered ont at one time and place, except
prisoners of war, who will be considered as in
service until their arrival in a loyal State, with
an allowance of time necessary for them to be
returned to their respective places of enrollment.
With officers and men of this class, commanding
officers of regiments and companies will exercise
great care in stating, in the remarks on the
muster-out rolls, the dates and places of capture,
tQUS ;
Prisoner of War. Captnred at
December ISO....
IV. Officers and men absent from their commands,
on detached sendee, sick in hospital or
paroled, [after the officer under whose command
they may be, has satisfied himself that their
terms of service have expired J will be furnished
with transportation by the Quartermaster's Department
to the place where the Regiment is u>
be mastered oat, in time to be present at the said
muster. The transportation will be tarnished
upon the requisition of the Commanding officer
under whom the officer or soldier may be serving,
or of the surgeon in charge of the hospital
where he may be sick. The descriptive list* of
the men will accompany them, ana be turned
over to the officer who may be charged with
mustering out the force, by whom?after the data
therefrom has been enteral on the muster-out
rolls?they will be forwarded to tbe Adjutant
General or the Army. If from sickness, or other
proper canse, enlisied men cannoj be sent tu
time, as above directed, they will be discharged
at the hospital, and their final papers there made
out, nnder direction of the surgeon in charge,
and forwarded to the commaudcr having tbe
power to discharge, as in the case of anrgeon'e
certificate of disability. The principles announced
in Paragraphs 3 and 15, Appendix u B," Revised
Army Regulations, will be applied in soeh
cases; and, with a view to determining claims
for pension, all information will be given in the
papers which will throw light on the nature ana
cause of the soldier's sickness.
V. The following extracts, from the Mustering
Regulations, are published for the information
and guidance of all concerned:
" Whenever volunteers, or militia, arc mastered
for final discharge, on the expiratiou Of their
term of service, a discharge will be furnished for
each officer and soldier, whether present or absent
" The blanks for these must be filled with
great care and neatness, and signed, with official
rank affixed?at the left hand?by the Colonel or
other regimental commander for the field and ,
staff, by captains or other company commanders
for their respective companies, and by the Muttering
Officer, and by the Mustering Officer returned
to the said commanders for delivery to the
individuals."
Form qf Diteharge.
TO ALL WHOM IT MAT CONCERN.
Coat of Arms.
Know ye, That a of Captain
company regiment of
volunteers, who was enrolled on the.... n
day of one thooaand eight hundred and *
to serve .... years, or daring the war, ia
Ho-oHtr .>.:vii from the service of the ['lilted
8tates, day of , lfld.at by
reason?of bein<> mastered out of service on tbe
expiration of his term. " No objection to his
being re-enlisted is known to exist.
Said was born in in
the State of is .... year* of age,
.... feet.... inches high,.... complexion, ....
eyes, .... hair, and by occupation, when enrolled,
a
Uivkx at...., this .... day of.... 134..
Commanding company?or regiment, ^ ^
Captain .... U. S, Infantry and Muttering OJictr.
' Where troops are. mustered ont ol service,
final statements mast not be given. Tbe musteroat
rolls take the place of final statements in
such cases."
VI. As a general rule, in returning troops to
their States for muster-oat, they will be seat to
the points, therein, where they were' mastered
in, there to be met by Mustering Officers and
Paymasters.
VII. To hasten the muster-oat of trdbps, it is
hereby made the duty of regimental and company
commanders, under the direction of the
Commissary of Masters of the Corps or Department
and Assistant Commissary of Masters for
the Division, to look after the data necessary
for tbe preparation of tbe muster-out rolls. To
this end it is directed that each company commander
shall have the moater-ont roil of his
company, or such men thereof as are to be discharged,
made out in rough, so that it can be
quicicly arranged, und a fair copy maue at uirrequired
time.
VL1I. As the interest of tn enlisted man is always
prejudiced, if his record ou the rolls is imperfect,
Mustering OUIcers and Paymasters will
promptly report all ofllcers who may neglect
to have the rolls of their regiments and companies
accurately made out, with a view to
their being recommended for dismissal from
the service.
IV. Iu mustering out independent companies
and batteries, or fractional parts thereof, the
ftrlnclples, so far as applicable, laid down hereu
for regiments, will be observed. Questions
which may arise relative thereto, will be decided
by Department and Army C'oinmauders.
By ou?ra or tuk Sec'y or Was:
K D. TOWN8END,
As*L Adit. General.
Bt Command or Baio. Gas. J. O. FOSTER,
\V. L. M. Bi&oiJt.
I A Sat. Adjt. Cen'l,
OrriciAi.:
Tsomam J. Ro.tix60.\,
1st Lieut. VJlst V. S. C. T.,
Act, Ashi. Adj't General.
T^iis sentence will bo erased, should there
be anything in the condnct or physical condition
of the soldier rendering him unfit I or duty
in the army.
F)rt royal house, union squars.
Hilton Head.H C. GILSON A RIDliKLL
Proprietor.