Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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BILL ARP Receives Detters IT Tin Atlanta C\ Vo# there is another trust just con Blmated. -Mr- Vanderbilt and Miss ?^JVC put their millions together jouiebody is going to suffer by it. Kj, thing is all wrong. Rich people btnot to marry lich people, but I .j see h W vrc can 8fcoP 1^* There prettier girls than Miss Fair and Knower men than Mr. Vanderbilt, money loves money and that set II jt. That pretty little nursery about Cinderella marrying a itt is as dead as Hector. But I ??.{see how wo can prevent these Eiland combinations and great ac tions without a heavy income . JD,j an inheritance tax. Even ,5 ?be millionaires would hideout it or ?0 out of it. They would Ee tho rcvouuo men just like the (shiners do. Wc see that Van ilt is dodging them now in New ;and Governor Roosevelt is after pin a special message. It looks . te poor'folks will just have to pit-aud thank the Lord that we oat of jail and that it is as well Qg as what it is. They can't ? any trust on air and water and gardens and home raised-chickens eggs and potatoeB. We had as as for dinner to-day and will strawberries ia a week or two. gue arc many good things not yet in combine. I suggested to Mr. Hiter the other day that I was in :cr of a church trust in every small ni, for I wanted. to hear him and tbe preachers preach and was afraid luve my own little church for fear riving offense to our preacher. 1 ok it would be a good idea for the ichera to rotate and preach in the [treat churches, and we would make combine of the salaries and divide oat pro rata. Doctrinal sermons re about played out,* anyhow, and :epting baptism by immersion there rery little difference in the essen priociplcs of the Christian denom tioDS. We all want to idolize ebody aud I had just as leave lize lour preachers as one. Home of tho preachers are disturbed at what I wrote about the 400 in r York, and want me to retract and iliin, and I am pleased to learn 0 the New York Christian ?dvo that the Associated Press dis to that I quoted from was much Ulcerated and distorted. Enough admitted, however, to show that r. Caduian is skeptic on the sub 1 of miracles and drew conclusions a his own argument that the editor s he cannot accept and that Mr. Im?n says he does not himself ae ???. That is funny; the editoi says se preachers often give tumultuous lause to a meritorious pape , but d refuse to indurse or approve the r. That is funny, too, and is an if sion that Mr. Cad man's argu t against miracles was meritorious, ut enough of this. The northern bodist church can take care of If. The editor says he has re ed from two to twenty letter? from ii of fourteen different States ask if that press dispatch spoke the |b. ifpd I have received many, and ag them are two who indorse Cad and the 400, and one from a Mor > elder who asserts, that the purest ?til Christian faith is to be found in the Mormon church, and he Bi me some tracts and begs me to I them. The letters I have re ed are no doubt sincere, and they written in polite and scholarly tiage, and gave me no ground for se. any men cf zsasy UJI??? there ?re j is world and it becomes us all to B?lerant. Error thrives On intoler aod persecution. here is an editor from Virginia complains to the Constitution, taken exception to my saying : far as I am concerned I feel as if H5 nothing and less than nothing 'e scale of existence, for I know *bence 1 came nor where I am ?- ' And. he asks impertinently have become an agnostic, and fty utterances are astounding, rc are some smart people who are ^critical and can't-help it. They (l for something to hawk at and their conceit. 'Wh'ar man knows secret of his being or whore he ! from in the beginning ? The I aria^ered Job out of the whirl* 1 ?nd said: "Where wast thou ft I laid the. foundations of the W' Declare it if thou hast under ling. " Perhaps this editor can er- And again the Lord asked "Have the gates of death been ed unto thee? Knowost thou ordinances of heaven and canst set the dominion thereof ?'* This Fr wants to know if I have a Bible * me. Yes, and 'that is what it ~-and much more on that line, tay I vraa talking to l)r. Candler union depot in Atlanta. Tho was about to leave and he had ?f the hand ' ra?l when a news r ??an hurried up with his pad 1 S LETTER. rom all Parts of the ion. institution. and pencil and said : "Hello, Bishop. Excuse nae, but ?here are you going?" The bishop pulled himself up gently as the car began to move and said: "My friend, I am going to heaven. Where are you going?" I enjoyed that, but if I had been the reporter I think I would have asked : And where is heaveu, and how big is it, and when will you get there? That undiscovered country from whence no traveler returns is still the mystery of mysteries. No, my friend, I repeat that I know not whence I came nor whither I am going and therefore I humble myself under the mighty hand of God and trust Him as a little child trusts its father. I have just returned from a brief visit to Jacksonville, where I went in search of milder weather, for I have a bad cough and the grip, cte,, but I did not find much difference. The weather is bad everywhere-got on a trust I reckon. I had some fun, though, at the expense of other peo ple. A good old matron came to sec me and lavished on mc many pleasant compliments and among other things enid; "You must come and see us. We have every book that you ever wrote upon our parlor table. Yes, we have your 'Uncle Remus' and your 'Mingo and Daddy Tack,' the runa way, and all your othe'r books. Well, now of course, I didn't have the mean ness in my heart to tell her that I was not Joel Chandler Harris, so I just swallowed it all down and felt flat tered. Next I tackled a conductor, and when he read my pass he looked at me and smiled: "I am very glad to meet you, major. My father was a Colum bus man and he just banked on you. Yes, up to the day of his death he said everything that Bill Nye wrote-' ' "Bill Nyc is dead," said I solemn ly. He looked bewildered and I re lieved him by telliug him that I was Bill Arp and not Bill Nye. I wish I was rich. I know a man whose name was Duncan, and one day I found him brooding over the lire in his bac?r store, and says I: ;iWhat are you thinking about, Duncan ?" He smiled sadly and said: "I was just wishing I was rich.' " '" What for," said I. "Why just to have my opinions respected. One of my customers asked me this morning what I thought about cotton-would it go up or go down, and I told him I thought it would rise in a few days, and'he told another feller what I said and he turned up his nose and said: 'Duncan -Duncan-hang Duncan. What does bc know ? Why didentyou ax Shorter?' Well Shorter is rich and I'm poor, but I know more about cotton than he does, for he never bought a bale in his life." Now, I don't want to be rich just to have my opinions respected, but I would like to have a chatity fund at my command so that I could respond to some of these pitiful appeals that I receive almost every day. They m?ke me heart sick and I can't do anything. About half the letters I receive ask for something that I cannot supply. They want to know the missing word and some of them actually offer to give me half the reward if I will tell it to ' them. And theft these chain letters come almost every day and they ex pect me to send some money and make three copies and send to turee of my friends and pay postage all round. And some of my young friends want compositions or points for a debate about, the Philippines or the Cuban war. And some ambitious young peo ple send mc a lot cf poetry to bc criti cised. They are afraid of Frank Stanton. Well, of course, all these letters are written with good intent and some of them have a stamp in closed, but they are a white man's burden and I cannot do justice to them. As for autographs, I send them with pleasure, for it is an easy task. I wonder if "Uncle Remus" has a similar experience. Neverthe less, I am still calm and serene. BILI. ARP. A Beautiful Complexion. There is no person on earth but what would like to have a nice complexion. This is especially true with the ladies. There is no way to secure it by cos metics'. The trouble it? deeper. It is in the system. Tyner'a Dyspepsia Remedy will invigorate the system ??d give you a beautiful complexion. It is harmless and never fails to ac complish resolta. It will- not only give you a beautiful complexion but perfect health. Price 50 centB per bottle. For sale by Wilhite & Wil hite. Sample bottle free on applica tion to Tyner's Dysyepsia Remedy Co., Atlanta; Ga. ^ - A farmer was standing at the foot of an enormous cornstalk. "How big is^our corn?" asked a stranger. "I don't know," answered the farmer. "I sent one of my boys up to seo a little while ago, and I'm worried to death about him." "How so? Can't he get back?" "No, that's the trou ble. The cornstalk's growing np fnoter than he can climb down." THEIR NEW BEDSTEAD. BY CLARA AUGUSTA. Souse Aunt Sabriny bas come to stay through the heft of the Winter at our house, we've been kinder put in for room to sleep. She's that sot that she will have the fore room chamber, no matter who comes, and morc'n once Ezra an' I has had to sleep up in the attic on two old lounges, an' Icgot stung with a wasp, an' Ezri ho fell through a brokcu place in the floor, and onto the plasterin' above 31 uriah's chamber, an' skaired that girl so's she hain't been able to help me wash dishes yet; strange how awful delicate girls is now days, but sha said she was a drcamin' that Fit/. Smith had just proposed to her when down come about four bushels of plasterin' plumb into her face and eyes! I s'pose it would have made a most anybody a leetle surprised at the time of it, but thc effects of it scorns to hold on. "Why don't you buy one of them are shutting up bedsteads?" says Miss Forbes that lives across the field, an' had run in to borrow a pinch of sala ratus. "Well, I dunno," says I, "I hadn't never thought on it." "Melindy Jones has got one in her fore room," says she, "a real pritty, genteel piece of furniture, too. It's a book case when it's shut up, an' it's a bedstead when it's open, an' it's got a matteras an' spring? into its insides, and it's as easy to sleep onto as a forty-pound live geese feather bed, Melindy says." I mentioned the bed to Ezra when he come in from the ham after a luncheon of doughnuts and cheese, for he was a tbrashin' of his pea beans, an' thrashin' makes yer stom ach feel terrible empty. Ezra, he's one of those folks gnat's allers ready to ketch onto any new thing, An' the idee of a shut-up bed stead suited him to a T. "We'll have one right off !" says he. "I wonder I never thought of it be fore. I guess you don't git me to sleep up there in that are attic under the eaves, amongst the wasps an' bumble bees, and strings of worm wood an' cammymial, any more." An' tho very next day, he took the money that Deacon Symonds paid him for that brindled cow that had her off horn broken off, an' he posted down to South Brimfield, an' bought ono of them bureau bedsteads. It was a real handsome piece of fur niture, an' we sot it up in the back parlor, an' Ezra was as proud as a peacock struttio' round it, an' expa triarchin' onto its wonderful pints. "She's a dandy!" says he, "see how firm she stands onto her legs ! I tell you what't is, Betsy, you can't never snore so's to shake ber foundations, as you do the foundations of that are cottage bedstead that we've been a-layin* on for the past ten year!" "For the land sake, Ezra Higgins!" says I. "I never snored as much as one full grown, able bodied snore in my life, an' you know it; I may have give a little snort now an' then, when I was extra tired, or had et something that didn't sot well onto my stomach -but you snore . enough to lift the rafters every night. Aunt Sabriny, she heard you t'other liight, an'-gci up an' took out her curl papers so's if the lightning struck the house and she was killed, she'd be 1 presentable as a corpse. She said she never' heard it thunder harder in her life, though she didn't see any lightning." Wail, when it come night,* Ezra he Wanted to go to bed by eight o'clock, so's to try that new bedstead. There was a party over to1 Pine Plains that night, an' everybody in the house had gone except Ezra an' I an' Aunt S \ briny. She'd gone upstairs with the toothache jest after dark, an' a ginger poultice an' a hot flat-iron, to keep ber company. She hain't had a tooth in her head for twenty-five year except some store teeth but she has the tooth ache just the same, so she says. We fastened up thc house, an' put the key on the winder, so'H the folks could get in when they come home, an' then Ezra he unjiggered the bureau an' turned it into a bcd, an' got into it. "By jinks!" says he-as he hove a sigh of satisfaction, "this is comfort! She's as easy as a cradle. The man I got her of said I should never want to sleep anywhere else after I had tried her once! Why in na ter, Betsy, don't you hurry up an' come to bed?" "I've got to wind up the clock, an* put the cat in tho wood ?hod," says I,-"an I ought to pick over the beans to-night. To-morrow's Saturday, an' there's allers so muoh to do." "Let beans go to glory!" says Ezra. "I want you to come and try this bed! Jest set down on the side of her and see what a spring there is to her!" Jest to humor him, I sot down, an' goodness sakes alive! The rr inuit I let my heft down onto that bed she went off like a pistol, an quicker than s'cat she shut up jest like a clam-shell, an' Ezra inside of her ! Swallowed up like Jonah in the Bible story! "Git mo out of here!" yelled he "Betsy! Betsy! She's squattin' tho breath all. out of me! I'm Hatter'n a po? enke ncr! Rip hci c?i?cu! Smash her! Dinged if I care for thc price of her! The old brindle cow bed the garget, anyway! Tain't all loss! Hu'st her, Betsy ! an' be quick about it!" I was so flustrationated that for a minuit or two I didn't fairly sense jest what had happened, but as soon as I'd got my idees together, I knowed that I must rescue the partner of my bosom. I tried to git up, but good ness gracious! thet are bedstead had ketched the skirt of my gownd and shot in there, an' there I was just for all the world like a mouse with his tail ketched in a steel trap! I couldn't get up, an' I couldn't break loose, an' 1 couldn't get my gown off, for it was a kind of a polli nay style, an' there warn't no room in it to work. "Betsy! If you don't do something, I ?war I'll make it hot when I do git out!" yelidd Ezra, "(iee whizz! How I sweat! The insides of her is hotter than Tophet! Why don't you pull her apart, an' not set there like a 'tame! fool?" "I can't !" says 1. "I'm hitched to her by ther skirt of my gownd !" says I, "an' if 1 was to die I can't git loose!" "A woman never knows nothin!" says Ezra-"never! I wish to heaven I'd never been fool enough to tie my self to one ! Drat the whole tribe of 'cm. Oh, good Lord! I shall die! I'm a-suffocatin'. You'll he a widow, Betsy, if you don't git a move on you an' git me out!" I give a wriggle an' a jump, but, land sakes! I might jest as well have tried to bu'st up the universe! That pesky thing of a bedstead an' bureau had got a grip onto mc that meant business ! I sot up a yell that made the very picters on the walls shake with fright. "Hello! Hello! Hello!" says 1, an' as luck would have it, Aunt Sabriny she heard it an' come tip toeing down stairs to see what the racket was. "It serves you right," says she when she had took in the state of affairs. "I told you, Ezra, that you'd better let that two-faced, new fangled con trivance of Satan alone. Why didn't you get a bed lounge, or a cottage bed, or something or ruther that you was acquainted with its habits, an' could depend on? You allers took up with new things, Ezra, an'-" "New things has took up with me," says Ezra, 4lan' if you don't turn to an' help git mc out of hero. I'll be jiggered if you dou't walk out of this houso bag an' baggage, as soon as ever I git loose!" An' Ezra, he sot to an' swore a string of oaths as long as my arm, an' Aunt Sabriny she got ukairt. an' cut me loose, an' we tackled that bureau bedstead with the axe au' the fire shovel, an' managed to rescue Ezra along about one o'clock in thc morn ing. I draw a curtain over the scene. If anybody wants a bureau-bedstead they can have this one cheap. -'mt ? ?rn - ? I was reading an advertisement of Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy in the Worcester Enterprise recently, which leads me to write this. lean truthfully say I never used any remedy equal to it for colic and diarrhoea. I have.never had to use more than one or two doses to cure the worst case with myself or children-W. A. Srmocr&, Popomoke City, Sid. For saie by Riii-Orr JJrug Co. . - Some light is thrown on the eco nomic condition of Sweden by official statistics showing that forty per cent, of the asserted value of ali farm lands is mortgaged, and fifty-four per cent, of city property is under mortgage. The out-stAdiog mortgages on thc farms of Sweden amount tc $266,000, 000, which, considering the size of the country is a very small total. Mr. H. A. Pass, Bowman, Ca., writes: "One of my children was very delicate and we despairer of raising it. For ?ncuth? my wife and I could hardly get s night's rest until we be gan the use of Pitts' Carminative. We found great relief from the first bottle." Pitts' Carminative acts promptly and eures permanently. It is pleasant to the taste, and children take it without coaxing. It is free from injurious drugs and chemicals. - A curious article of war was adopted by a Chinese junk when at tacked by a man-of-war. The crew threw cocoanuts into the sea, and then jumped in among them. Nearly all escaped for it was impossible to tell which were heads or which were nuts. For frost bites, burns, indolent sores, eczema, skin diseases, and es gectally Piles, DeWitt's Witch Hazel alve stands first and best. Look out for dishonest people who try to imi tate and counterfeit it. It's their en dorsement of a good article. Worth less goods are not imitated, (ret De Witt's Witch Haze! Salve. Evans Pharmacy. - Clara (on the wrong side of 30) "I am sure I don't know what he secs in her." Cholly-"Well, they say love is blind." Clara-"Blind ! non sencc ; I never saw a man in love yet who did not see 10 times as much in his sweetheart as I could." As the season of the year when pneumonia, la grippe, sore throat, coughs, colds, catarrh, bronchitis and lung troubles are to be guarded against, nothing "is afine substitute," will "answer the purpose," or is "just as good" as One Minute Cough Cure. That is the one infallible remedy for all lung, throat or bronchial troubles. Insist vigorously upon having it if I ? "something else" is offered you. | Evans Pharmacy. He Apologized. ''Many funny things happen on tho big sound steamers which never find their way into prin;," said a traveling man, in a hotel lobby on upper II road way. .'The last trip 1 made down to Bos ton was characterized by" one of thc funniest things that I ever ran across. There was aboard a New Kugland spinster, one of the most sour-faced. rasping-voiced, disagreeable old fe males that I have ever soeu. She was always giving trouble, and kept the poor luggage steward constantly at her beck and call. At last the man lost his temper, and told her to go to the devil. "Thc lady, in a high state of indig nation, reported thc man to the cap tain. That gentleman told thc stew ard he must find out the lady and apologize to her. "Thc steward consented to do so. At luncheon ho appeared, and accoot- ! cd thc first lady at thc table thus: " 'Were you the lady 1 told to go to the devil?' 1 'No,' said this lady, and several others, all equally surprised and amused. "At last, by a scries of separate in terrogations, ho discovered thc right lady. She respoueed. with an indig nantly virtuous air: " 'Yes, I am thc lady.' " 'Ah, then,' said thc steward, 'the captain told me to tell you that you needn't go.' " mm ? mm Why He Did Kot Hang On. A workman repairing the roof of one of the highest buildings in Dublin lost his footing and fell. Striking a telegraph linc in his fall, he managed to grasp it. "Hang on for your life!" shouted a fellow workman. Some of the spectators rushed off to get a mat tress on which bc could drop. But the workman, after holding on for a few seconds longer, suddenly cried out, "Sthand from undhcr!" dropped and lay senseless in thc street. Ile was brought to the hospital, and on recovery was asked why bc did not hang on longer. "Shure, 1 was afraid the wire wud brake," he feebly re plied. - mm . mm Happy is the man or woman who can eat a good hearty meal without suffering afterwards. It' you cannot do it. take Kodol Dyspepsia Cure. lt. digests what you eat, and cures all forms of Dyspepsia and Indigestion. Evans Pharmacy. - On a fourth trial of a suit in Texas agaiust the "Western Union Tel egraph Company for $27,000 damages thc jury recently returned a verdict of 50 cents. If you have a cough, throat irrita tion, weak lungs, pain in the chest, ditlicult breathing, croup or hoarse ness, let us suggest One Minute Cough Cure. Always reliable and safe. Evans Pharmacy. - When a dog barks at night in Japan the owner is arrested and sen tenced to work for a year for the neigh bors whose slumbers maj' have been disturbed. "(Jive me a liver regulator and I can regulate thc world," said a genius. The druggist handed him a bottle of DeWitt's Little Early Risers, thc famous little pills. Evans Pharmacy. - Lieutenant Bil!, a Br; i sh officer with thc Belgian troops in thc Congo Free State in Africa, recently captured by the natives in a fierce fight, and was afterwards killed and eaten. J. Sheer, Sedalia, Mo., conductor on electric street car line, writes that his littlo daughter waa very low with croup, and her life saved after all physicians had failed, only by using One Minute Cough Cure. Evans Pharmacy._ T?MNOL'I I HEADACHE, I J NEURALG?A,| & LA GRIPPE. I 2J Relieves all pain. X Brs. Strickland & King, OFFICE IN MASONIC TEMPLE. jLtmT- Gas and Cocaine used for Extract og Teeth-_ NOTICE. WILL let to the lowest responsible bidder on Fridav, April 21st, at lia. tn, the building of n new Bridge over Wilson's Creek, on new road lead ing from Cook Station to Kocky River Church, near Oliver McKee house. Plansand specifications made known on dav of letting. W. P. SNELGROVE, Co. Sup'r. NOTICE. NOTICE is hereby given that the Wil llamston Baptist Church will apply to tho Secretary of State for a Charter for said Church. The corporator aro C. V.. Hurioo. ii. C. .Martin and ii ugh Mn haffev, Sr. Williamston, S. C., April 1,189?. WEAK KIDNEYS are dangerous Kidneys because they are favorable to the appearance of Bright's Disease. Prickly Ash Bitters Heals the Kidneys. Cleanses and regulates the Liver. Strengthens the digestion and removes constipated conditions in the Bowels. IT IS FOUR MEDICINES IN ONE. A SYSTEM TONIC PAREXCELEENCE. PRICE $1.00 PER BOTTLE. PREPARED BY PRICKLY ASH BITTERS CO. ^jj HOLD BY ALL DBCnOISTfl Kf . ^S; ?^'- ?^- s?- ^Z- SZ> s^l- ?S- ??. 4g? ^ ^'ti&> ? ^ ^ v=v ^i? ' ivfi? '<?? ^ v ~ v ^r- ^5? \? SS EVANS PHARMACY, Special Agents. A FIRST-CLASS COOK Can't do first-class work with second-class materials. But you can hold the girl accountable if you buy your : : : : GROCERIES FROM US I We have the right kinds of everything and at the right prices. Where qualities are equal no dealer can sell for less than we do. We guarantee to give honest quantity at the very LOWEST PRICES. Come and see UH. We have numerous articless in stock that will help you get up a square meal for a little mouey. Our Stock of Confections, Tobacco, Cigars, Etc., Are always complete. Yours to please, Free City Delivery. ]R\ BIGBY. For the Prevention and Cure of t?io Prevalent Troubler . . . GRIPPE, COLDS, And their accompaniments. Neuralgic Pains, Headache, Pain in the Limbs, OUR GR8P CAPSULES Are almost a Specific. This remedy should be iu every household. _ EVANS PHARMACY. STOVES, STOVES! IP you have a Stove to buy SAVE MONEY by getting thc latest improved, the largest oven for the least money. I will take your old Stove in part payment on a new oue. Crockery, Tinware and Glasswares Lamp doods,, A full and complete Stock. Bring me your HIDES and RAGS. JOHN T. BURRISS N. B.-Prompt attention to all Repair Work, Roof Painting, Plumbing, ?cc. Over Post Office. m. fri. i?i A TT LIFE, TTE! O FIRE.! V\ ACCIDENTlIlkl Call for nice Calendar. Thone No. 115? , AGENT, Office always open* C-4 4 * g ?ci 0 ?d M Sd 3 c < H M H > o sd ? s M H 3 2 Q "3 fi CD ?3 ft > B ~ ? 2 a B aa \Z % P ? d 2 a %.< M w H Q o ?sj ft . o o 9 w r es e > SIT ON THE FENCE AND SLEEP! . . . W"H!LE the procession passes if you want to. Nobody will disturb you. Hut *f you are alive to your own interests arouse yourself, sbake off slumber, climb info the band-wagon and wend your way with the orowd to THE JEWELRY PALACE OF WILL. R. HUBBARD ! Tbev that want tho best and prettiest to be obtained in Diamonds. Jewelry, Silver and'Plated Ware, Watches and Clocks that will keep time and are backed with a guarantee, Fine China and Glassware and beautiful Novelties, know that to Will. R. Hubbard's is the place to go. They that want honest treatment know that this is the place to lind it, Alt Goods are justas represented, and are fully covered by guar The young man who baa a girl and wants to keep her ?oes there. Hubbard will help you keep her. The young married couple goes there to beautify their little home. Hubbard beautifies it for you. Tho rich people go there because they ?an afford it, and the poor go there, also, because they can afford it. ?B- Everything NEW and UP-TO-DATE. JW ENGRAVING FREE. WILL R. HUBBARD, Jewelry Palace, next to Farmers and Mataban t a B an k. PATRICK MILITARY INSTITUTE OPENS SEPT. 14 Offers Best Advantages in Al! Respects. Students may save Time and Money. JOHN B. PATRICK, Anderson, S. C.