Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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BY CL?NKSCALES & LANGSTON. ANDERSON, S. C, WEDNESDAY MORNING, JANUARY 6, 1897._VOLUME XXXH - NO. 28 ?_??---????^???? ?-.-.-5-, : ?; For Three Thursday, Friday, Saturday, January 9 8 and 99 - WE OFFER ANY - $10.00 Overcoat - In otjr house - For $5.00. Got too many $10.00 Overcoats. Don't want to carry them over. None of these Overcoats taken out on approval. Spot cash. No deviation. THOS. A, ARCHER. CLARENCE OSBORNE. ARCHER * OSBORNE ISH Ute gablic to know that they have recently opened up a new line of FIRST Cooking and Heating Stoves, Cooking Utensils of all kinds, Crockery, Lamps, Glassware, Tinware, Woodenware, &c, And that they propose selliDg them as cheap as anybody in Anderson. Come and see oar Goods and get our prices. Wo will treat von right. We want yonr trade. We want to give you full vaine for it. We are alao prepared to do all kinds of TINW0RK, such as Roofing, Guttering and Repairing. Our Shop is well equipped, and we will do your work on short notice and at rea sonable prices. ??f* We are keen op for business. Don't give us the go-by. Yours truly, ARCHER & OSBORNE. EAT TO LIVE ! This is usually the case, but now is the time to live to eat. If you. fail to buy your Christmas Goods from. LIGON & LEBBETfER You can't enjoy this pleasure. RAISINS, CURRANTS, CITRON, Finer this year than ever. COCOANUTS, ALMONDS, BRAZIL NUTS, ENGLISH WALNUTS, PECANS, HAZEL NUTS, MALAGA GRAPES, APPLES cheaper than ever. Everything to make home happy in onr line. SSF* Special prices to Merchants. LIGON & LEDBETTER, A Car Apples just received. Wholesale Grocers. LEND US YOUR EAR ! AND LISTEN TO OUR SONG! We have on hand the largest stock we have ever carried, and our motto is to seH goods, not keep them. . . OUR line' of Shoes is large and complete. Cloiing out a lot of Ladies $1 00 Shoes at 75c. Also a lot of Men's High Cut Bro gacs af ?1 00. There is good wear in both of these Shoes, and the price is dirt cheap. We don't mean to be undersold in Flour. All bought before the rise, and it'e bound to go in a harry. 50 barrels of good family Floor to go at S-5 50. Tobacco cheaper than ever heard of before. Come nnd try our "Tar Heel" at 21r\ One of the best chews on the marke". We mean business, and ask you to give us a ch.tnce and we are bound to sell you. A new Jo*, of Blue Straw Wheat just arrived. O. D. ANDERSON & BRO. P. S.?Bring your P<ws, Corn, Butter, Eggs, etc , to us. A. Big Failure ! TXT E are clad to announce that the CORN CROP for 189G with our SHOE TT CUSTOMERS has been a total failure. Tnis explains the absence of smiling Corn Doctors in our midst, together with the fact that our sales on SHOES have increased 43 per cent. Figures talk for themselves?so do onrSaoea. Our Shoe line is a dandy, but "there are others." For in stance? Our Elegant line of Flour, On which we have a booming, growing trade and a happy set of customers. Once a customer on Dean's Patent always a customer. See us before bnyiDg even a pound of COFFEE, SUGAR, or any thing. Yours always truly, M DEAN & R?TL1FFE. Cotton Buyers for Trade?not for Profit. SHOES. SHOES. J"ust Opened, our At Greatly Reduced Prices. ? Call and examine our Stock before buying, as we can SAVE YOU MONEY. THE YATES SHOE COMPANY, Anderson, S. C. SAM JONES ON GENIUS. Diversity (8 the Rule of Humanity. Atlanta Journal. Humanity is many-sided, is of many kinds?all casts, colors, clique and kinds. In all phases of life we have diversity. America in its social life ranges from the dudes of the four hundred to the old red-nosed bums in the back alley saloons; from the so ciety woman to the old darky hunting \ ^ssums because his home is out of meat. In the business world from millionaires down to mendicants. In the political world, they range from Gladstone to a State legislator. There may he something below that, but he is nearly out of sight. In the farmer life from the big planter down to the old darky with the stiff-eared mule, in the manufacturing circles, from Carnegie, of Pittsburg, to the red neck of Mississippi, sitting up with his tar kiln. In the railroad world, from George E. Roberts, president of the Pennsylvania, to the brakeman on some jerk-water road out west. Oh, the millions of teeming, struggling humanity between these two extremi ties in all the classes I have mention ed. Energy and thrift and brains head the procession in the commercial and professional world, with now and then a genius like Edison in elec tricity; a Wannamaker in merchan dise; a Milton Smith in railroading; a Philip Armour in manipulating. A man who does big things, great big things, and keeps on doing them, is a genius. Just any ordinary, com mon fellow could not do it the firet time; and he cannot keep on doing it. An old-fashioned cannon will shoot as loud as a Gatling gun, but it just can't keep on shooting a hundred times a minute till it gets so hot you have to pour water on it. A little peg won't fill a big hole. You have got to brush the peg or lose it. A frog might be as big as an ox if his hide would stand the stretch, but it bursts on the way. A mule might pull as much as an engine, and then again it mightn't. A few great men. lead the procession in all lines. A Brooks, a Spurgeon, a Beecher, will pitch the tone for a century higher than most men can sing in the theological world. Here and there, a farmer is getting rich, broadening his acres, shows the world what a farmer can do if he is a man as well as a farmer. A man who succeeds at one thing may have suc ceeded at many others. A failure isa failure. It takes pluck and vim and brains to ''get there." If a fellow has got them and don't "get there" he ought to be left, and will be left, and left forever. There is a good deal of independence and dogmatism about a fellow who gets there. A man who is always working, struggling and doing something loses sympathy with tramps and idlers. A man who keeps and saves and accumulates loses sympathy with the prodigal ani wasteful. A man who studies and thinks andgrows intellectually soon parts company with fools. One man will take a great railroad system and bankrupt it. An other man will take hold of a bankrupt system, like Samuel Spencer and the Southern System, and literally raise it from the dead. One pastor can take a church and run it like a thing of life. Another soon gets it ready for spiritual interment. One farmer converta 3unshine and showers into grain and wheat and oats and corn and cotton and potatoes. For another all these things seem to make only weeds and grass. One college gradu ate ha3 taken curriculum of the school simply as a springing board to leap into higher and better success. Oth ers have come home from college to board with their daddies until their daddies-in-law furnish equal or better lodgings. One man begins braking on a railroad. By and by he is pres ident of the road. Another fellow starts out as vice-president and winds up without the position of brakeman. Gravity inverted carries a man up ward. He who can in vertgravity don't need wings to fly. A Joseph Pulitzer can take a daily newspaper out of the dust and give it the largest circula tion of any newspaper in the world. Others turn their newspapers over in to the hands of the sheriff or receiver. There is more in the man than there is in the land. If a boy has got in him what we call metal in his blade of a knife he will cut his way. If he has not he had as well stay down and take it easy. A little boy was run ning along in front of a gentleman on the sidewalk once and couldn't keep out of the way well. The gentleman said to him: "Get out of my way, boy. What arc you fit for, anyway The little fellow replied: "I am the stuff they make men out of." There is the point at last. If the fellow has got the stuff in him that can make a man then lie gets there. There is a diversity in wives. Some wives arc but wings to their husbands by which they can fly from hilltop to mountain-top until they soar in the altitudes of success. Other wives are but millstones about their husbands' neck. So in every phase of life they come and go. They go up and come down. Ambition, effort, economy, honesty?these qualities carry to highest success. Indolence, extrava gance and shiftlessness cut a man": legs or arms off and make him crawl like a worm. I don't know a man to day who has succeeded in life but who deserved to succeed. There may be some who have failed who didn't de serve to fail. A man who is aimless, purposeless, ambitionless is a cipher. The world must carry him, must feed liim, must clothe him. The success ful man is preeminently a busy man. If something is not ready-for him to do, he hunts a job. The old adage says: "All things come to him who waits." "Whether all things come to him or not, death and the coffin come to him sooner or later. Many a man has pulled nearly to the top of the hill of success, and then let his wagon run back with him to the bottom of the hill. Maybe if he had pulled an hour or a day longer he would have reached the top and rested on the hill of success. More failures have been made near the hill top than everywhere else from base to top. It takes a man to pull when his shoulders are sore, when he is out of breath and trembling in every nerve; but the fellow who starts to the top determined to get there or die, gener ally dies on top of the mountain. Very few lie dead between the base and the top. I would not ridicule a man's natural infirmities if he has not had the facility or opportunity to remedy them, but thousands of the defects of life are not natural. They come of the life we live. They come like a sober man becomes a drunkard, Jike a good man becomes a rascal, like a rich man becomes a pauper. To stultify and blunt the capabilities is as wicked as arson or theft. To per vert the faculties which, if rightly used, would bring success, is a crime itself. It is my duty to use all I have, mind, heart and soul resources and all, as simply stepping stones to some thing higher and better. It is easy to roll down grade, but we only climb up by effort, and measured all round the effort in climbing is far easier than the pangs of rolling downward. I have mixed with men who have succeeded. They meant to succeed or die. I have mixed with men who failed. They had rather fail than die; hence they failed and have not died yet. Traveling as I do, almost con stantly here and there I see diversi ties manifold, maniformed. Some of them inspire and some of them sicken. Thus humanity marches on, every man to his liking. ? Saji Jones. The Dangers of Confidences. Everything that is delightful is dangerous, and the woman friend, on account of the very sympathy and un derstanding which makes her such a comfort, may become a source of peril to the unwary, who are apt to confide too much. A cynic once said that the only way to treat friends was to re member that some day they might be come enemies. To do this would be to do away with all friendship, all trust, all that makes love sweet and beautiful, but at the same time there is a world of sound advice in Burns' admonition to "aye keep something to yourself you scarcely tell to any." If the details of your private affairs, your griefs, and trials, and joys, and hopes, are not to become public prop erty you must keep your own council or else trust some one for having more discretion than you have yourself. There are many women capable of the most exalted friendship, great of heart, broad in sympathy, wise in council. Having found one of these grapple her to your heart with hooks of steel, but remember that the truest friendship is all the finer for its re serve. The heart that turns out every thought and emotion for our inspec tion is like a shallow box, of which we soon tire, because we know all its contents. We like to feel that in the soul of those nearest and dearest to us there are still depths which the plummet of our love has never sound ed, and secret chambers the opening of whoose doors may some day flood our friendship with perfume and light* mm * m* Not His Handwriting. Old man Davidson, in Lcakecouuty, Mississippi, has a son in Texas. A short time ago young Davidson got into trouble and was arrested and fined. He had no money, and it was go to jail or raise it by some means. He told the sheriff that if he would wait until he oould write home to his father the moeey would be forthcom ing as soon as his family were ac quainted with his troubles, and that the mails could bring it. The sheriff suggested that he telegraph to his father to send him the money by tele graphic money order. He acted upon this suggestion. "When the telegram reached the Mississippi office the operator had to send several miles into the country to the old man. When Mr. Davidson read it he was confused and could not understand it, and ap pealed to his wife to assist him. She looked at the telegram, and handing it back said : "John, that ain't Wil liam's handwrite ; it's a trick of some of them town folks to beat you out of ?5U.'' The old man thought his wife was right. William laid in a Texas jail until he got a reply from a letter. ? "A horse is no good any more," declared the bicycle dealer, <;ridc him an hour and he's tired." "Vos, but one of ycr durned machines is allus tired before you start to ride it,' - said the farmer, who was just looking around. ? Not a few who read what Mr. l?obert Kowls, of Hollands, Va., has to say below, will remember their own experience under like circumstances: "Last winter I had la grippe which left nie in a low state of health. I tried numerous remedies, none of which did me any good, until was induced to try a bottle of Chamberlain's Cough Remedy. The first bottle of it so far relieved me that I was enabled to attend to my work, and the second bottle effected a euro." For sale at 25 and 50 cents ?:? bottle by Hill Orr Drug Co. SARGE PLUNKETT. A War for Cuba Seems Almost Ce -tain if Spain Wants to Get Angry. Atlanta Constitution. Everybody in these parts is in for helping Cuba. All are for war, aud it is common talk that it will only be a little before-breakfast job. Brown pulls down the lid of his left eye, as much as to say : "Do you see anything green," whenover he hears anything about how easy we could set tle the whole business, and remarks privately that he thinks he had heard such talk before. He was so badly fooled in a small matter in 1861 that it is impossible to get him enthused for Cuba. But I am for Cuba, for it is nothing more than I have expected for a good while that a war should come, and I am almost persuaded that wars are a necessity. I do not know if it is tariff or silver or over produc tion or too many people, but anyhow, the people invite a change?anything to relieve the pressure of hard times, and I am afraid there is too little of the patriotic feeling in the thing. We have been reading up on wars and the causes of wars, and in this connection we found the history of the crusades of much interest. After mature deliberation, we have decided that it would be a pretty hard job to find anything better than a revival of the old crusades, if too many people is what is the .matter with the world. Millions went upon these crusades in the olden times, and but few that went ever returned. It was thus that the population of Europe was trimmed out time after time, and I expect that they would have kept on with them had not America been discovered and furnished a place to receive the sur plus of Europe. At last America can stand no more, and some plan must be hit upon for the relief needed. A war with Spain over Cuba might be a very small affair in itself, but it might lead to something big enough to sat isfy us all and have the effect of re moving the pressure without reviving the crusades. Brown and I disagree on many thinge, but I always give him a chance to express himself. He swears that England can always be depended upon in taking care of her own. He tells me that he has been watching through a long life and that somehow England gets up some sort of devilment every time there is any meddling with the tariff, and that he has never seen a prospect of changing the channel of trade from the way they want it but what something would happen to divert from such a movement. He points to instances to strengthen this argument. Some years ago the town of Brunswick, Ga., took a spurt, and it looked as if commerce was going to be revolutionized through that port. Just as Brunswick got at its best an epidemic of yellow fever struck the port and Brunswick ha3 cut no figure from that day to this in the commerce of the world or on the question of direct trade. I do not believe that any people would sow the seeds of an epidemic to carry a point or to avert something that they might consider igainst their interest, but they might raise a war to such an end and-there might be people in this country who tvould help. But I am with the great majority? let us have war. I am glad to have something to abuse ; it is necessary to aave something, and Spain will do for little while. It had begun to get so that we had nothing to abuse. We had cussed the yankees and the north until we had exhausted the subject ; long ago we had quit spelling negro with two "g's ;" the Chinese, the dago and everything else had outgrown all our abuse and we just have to jump on something. So let 'cr roll, but I can warn che young generation that there is mighty few "soft" places in a war that is a war. I know a fellow that tried every branch of the Confed erate service for a "soft" place and died in disgust at himself for being a fool. When the war first started he joined the cavalry and pranced around through Tennessee drinking butter milk until he got so big and fat that it was a misery for him to ride, and so he got a transfer to the heavy ar tillery at Savannah. At Savannah he lay around and ate oysters until he got bigger than ever and lazier than ever. He had but little to do, but he grumbled about having to throw up breastworks and handle heavy guns, and decided that he had made a mis take in leaving the cavalry. One day after he had lifted at a big cannon for a few minutes he decided that he would get a transfer to the flying ar tillery, and according he did, aud went to Virginia in great glee over getting away from the heavy guns of Savan nah. About one week with the army of Virginia convinced this man that he was the biggest fool that ever lived on earth. He pulled his own hair, gritted his teeth and jumped up aud down iu his frenzy. When the seven days' iight at Kichmond had ended he went out on a log to himself and spent ten hours just in-cussing himself, but the fool went right to work for anoth er change. This time he got a trans fer to the infantry, and when he had tried this a few hours he shut his mouth and was never known to speak again during the war. There is noni! but an old soldier that could imagine the joke in going into the infantry fui' an easy place. It is mighty nice to look upon pic tures and see the horses rearing, the flags awaving and the brave men rush ing and struggling, but yop may look at all the pictures of the world and know [nothing of what wir really ?2i | And it is very fine to listen to patri otic speeches and step proud to the sound of music, hut these things can learn you nothing of war nor of war matters as they really are. Fighting is not all of war either. There is marching and starving and lingering in sickness aud grieving for home un til the most of fellows would take the mere fighting part as a dessert. But I have no desire to keep a sin gle arm from the patriots of Cuba. If war is not a necessity, it is at least foolish in an old man trying to stay the tide when it turns that way. I can remember how anxiously the Con federates hoped for help from abroad ?especially from the Democrats of the West?and how our spirits droop ed as the years rolled and instead of the thrilling songs of the beginning we had sueh as "When the Cruel War Is Over." Sarge Plunlett. Herrmann's Great Trick. Now that Herrmann the .Great is gone there can be no harm in explain ing how his wonderful trick of catch ing the bullets shot at him by six National Guardsmen was done. It will be remembered that HerrrJiann performed this feat twice for the benefit of the Herald free ice fund once on August 1, 1894, and again last May. On both occasions the famous pres tidigitateur stood alone upon the stage, while six picked marksmen from the State National Guard fired point blank upon him from a platform built in the audience. On both occasions Hermann, pale of face and painfully alert, caught the bullets, previously marked by a committee of noted army men, and handed them back hot from the barrels for identification. Of course it was a trick, but it was a dangerous trick, and one that Herr man disliked to do. But even he was less nervous than the marksmen, who, acting in perfect good faith, feared that they might kill the plucky magi cian. Many have beeh the alleged explan ations of this trick published in vari ous newspapers. They have all been wrong. Herrman himself told the Herald how it was done, and here it is : Of course there was an accomplice, and this accomplice was not one of the marksmen, but the sergeant in charge of them. This sergeant took the six regulation army bullet car tridges on a silver platter to the com mittee. The committee examined tbem, made sure they were genuine, marked them plainly and replaced them on the platter. The sergeant instantly raised the platter in plain sight at arm's length above his head, walked over to the marksmen, and they them selves each took a cartridge, examined it and placed it in the rifle. Then came the shooting. The trick lay in the platter, which had a false bottom. Under this bot tom lay six other cartridges, identical in size, weight and appearance, but holding bullets made of a composition of plumbago and mercury. When the sergeant held the platter aloft, he touched a spriDg and by a clever me chanism these six "fake" cartridges jumped into the platter, while the genuine cartridges disappeared be neath the false bottom. So it was the composition cartridges that the marksmen unknowingly put into their rifles, and on firing this composition was instantly melted by friction through the barrels and dissi pated in the air. Meantime, however, the supposedly empty platter was taken behind the wings, where tho genuine cartridges were drawn out, quickly heated and carefully placed by an attendant on a table, where Herrmann, just before the firing, carelessly picked them up and palmed them. Holding them in his hands during the firing, he im mediately produced them a3 the smoke cleared. A simple trick, but a very daager ous one, for if the platter's mechan ism failed to work completely, one or more of the genuine cartridges might have got into the rifles of the marks men and thence into Herrmann's body.?iVeto York Herald. Easing his Conscience. "Well," said the deacon. "Isold old Bill to-day." "Who to?" asked his wife. "Jim Alleubauirh. Got ?30 for 'im." "Fifty dollars ! 1 don't see how your conscience ever let you let any body pay that much for a balky horse that ain't worth more'n $15." "Well." said the deacon, thought fully, "I don't believe I could have done it only I know that Jim will take him out one of his Sunday fishin trips an' old Bill will balk, and Jim will hev a chance to set fer three or four hours meditatili' on the sin of Sabbath breaking." ? 11c was an earnest minister, and one Sunday iu the course of a sermon on the significance of little things, he said : "The hand which made the mighty heavens made a grain of sand; which made the lofty mountains made a drop of water; which made you made the grass of the field; which made nie made a daisy!" How's This. Wo oiW One Hundred Dollars reward for any casc'f Catarrh that cannot bo cured by Uall's Calarli Cure. \Ve,.the uodcrtignrd bare known P. J. Cheupy for the last IS years, and believe him perfectly honorable In ail business transactions nud finan cially able to carry out any obligations made by their firm. West A , Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, 0. Waldikd. KlNHAN & Marvin, Wholesale Drug gists, Toledo, O. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken Internally, tHlng directly upon the hlood and mucous surfaces of the sygtfra. Testimonials scat free. Trice 75c. > ; botilo 3vM bj 2?! druggists. Zeh Wkite Tells a Fireside Story. One autumn evening as I sat before the fire in the cabin of Zeh White, the 'possum hunter of Tennessee, I asked him to narrate an adventure, and after a bit of thinkirjg, he said : "Up to 10 y'ars ago there used to be heaps and heaps of painters (pan thers) on this yore mounting, and now and then they would cum skulkin' 'bout the cabin o' nights and cry out in a way to make yo'r ha'r stand up. One afternoon I cum home from town to find my ole woman in the sulks She used to get that way now an then, and it allus ended in a row When she began to jaw began to whistle, but arter half an hour I got mad. I'd agone out and slept in the woods, only it was gwine to be a dark and rainy night. She sulked and sulked and when it cum time to go to bed I sot right yere and never minded the time. She didn't offer to make up and so I was sittin' yere ? when mid night cum. She was asleep and so was I when thai.* cum a cry from out doahs. It was just like the hoot of woman lost in the woods, and it was ringin' in my ears when the ole woman sits up in bed and calls out : " 'Zeb White, what on airfch wae that ?' " woman hootin' fur help,1 sez I. " 'It can't be. No woman wonld be hootin' around yere thin time o' night. ?' 'Then it may be an owl.' " 'Then you may be a fule.' "Her callin' me a fule riled me up,' said Zeb, "and, though I was purty sartin that it was the scream of a pain ter, I determined not to gin in. Party soon we got it again, and it was nigher the house. The beast was prowlin' around, and that scream made a chill creep up by back." " 'It's a painter,' said the ole wo man, as she got out o' bed alookin' purty pale. " 'Sho ! Jt's one of them Davis gals lost in the woods. Reckon she was out arter chestnuts and got turned around.' " 'Then you don't know sugar from sand. Listen to that. Does that sound like the hoot of a woman ?' " 'Jest exactly. I'll bet my ole gun agin a coon skin that it's a wo man. I'll opea the doah so she kin see the light and thenjcsll to her. Powerful dark night for aloman to b? stompin1 around in the woods by herr self.' " 'Zeb White. I'm a-tellin' yo' it's a painter, no woman. If yo' wisn'? so tarnashun shuckless and low down yo'd know it fur yo'rsell!. If yo' open that doah somebody's gwine to git clawed and bit.1 "That riled me sum mo," said the old man, aa he hitched back from the fire, "and I was hound', to open that doah or bust. I could even h'ar the painter prowlin' around but, yo' aee, I wasn't gwine to let the ole womau bluff me down. I riz right up and was listenin' when she sez : " 'This yere painter is arter meat fur shore.' '"That yere woman is lookin'fur our cabin, yo' mean, and yere goes to let her in.' "'Zeb, hain't yo'got no sense in yo' head ?" " 'Not arter livin' with yo' fur twenty y'ars !' "With that I crossed over and open ed the back doah, an' a ; I did so the ole woman made a diva fur the bed and kivered up her head. I had just swung the doah back and opened my mouth to hoot when sunthin' knocked me clean across the cabin and uttered an awful scream. It was a sure-enough painter an' a mighty big one at that. He fust jumped on the bed and scratched at the clothes. But as I got up he turned and tackled me. Ever have a fout with a painter ?" "No, I never did." "Yo' needn't sign for one. They've got teeth like the biggest kind of a buzz saw an' thar claws are liko red hot knife blades. I was took so sud den that the critter had all the advan tage at fust, but bime-by I got hold of a stool and sorter held my own. He kept me mighty busy, but I saw the ole woman sittin' up. in bed arter a bit and heard her say : " 'Zeb White, if that's one o' them Davis gals, then she's powerfully changod about since last Sunday. Why don't yo' as' her to take off her bunnit and stay all night ?' " "How did the matter end ?" I ask ed, as the old man was a long time re filling his pipe." "Wall, I finally druv the critter out doahs and got the doah shct; an' then I fell down and fainted away, and didn't know nuthi/T mo' fo' an hour. I don't rightly remember how many bites and scratches I got, but I was laid up for six weeks, and had a tuff time of it." "Mrs. White didn't have anything more to say, did she?anything more about your taking the panther's scream for the hoot of a woman ?" " 'Sartiuly, she did," he replied "Bout the fust words I heard arter I cum to was : " 'Say, Zeb White, you'd better look out fur that Davis gal arter this ! She's bit an' clawed yo' till I've got to make a poultice as big as a barrel to kiver the hurts.' " ''And what did you say in reply ?" "Nuthin' ? nuthin' tall. I'd jest bluffed myself an' got the worst of it, an' so 1 shet up. ?es, shet right up, an' let her grin and chuckle an' poke fun at inc. Ves I knowed when I was licked an' I laid thar an' cried an' didn't hcv nuthin' to say?nuthin' 'tall.''?-'/. Quad, in St. Louis Rc pitblic. ? A Warren County (Tndiana) man thinks he has a foitune in a calf that hii two hcid? and a tail. Mr*. William McHnley. Those who have ey?r participated in official life at the National Capital know how important a role is played by the wife of the President of the United States. The read?blc volume, "The Ladies of the White House," shows that this importance dates from the accession of Gen. Washington to the Executive chair. The President's wife has as many social duties to per; form as any Queen or Empress of tjae Old World. But uulike them she i? not protected by a rigid and historical etiquette in the discharge of her offi cial functions. Democracy has de stroyed these bulwarks, and opened the White House doors to the world; - The President's wife stands in het parlor on regularly appointed days to be looked at, commented upon, criti cized and stared at by as many thous ands as can crowd their way into th? Windsor Castle of the New World. This is the one custom more honored in the breach than in the observance. Another is the practice of delegations of either men or women, or both, call ing upon her in regard to every sub ject upon which the can be discussion; - There are others, bnt these are suffi cient to show that the path of the mistress of the White House is not strewn with roses altogether. It re; quires the calm, heroic spirit, the sa voir faire of a courtier, to fill the of fice satisfactorily. When this is jjjfc . case there is an Administration which is long remembered as having been embellished by Dolly Madison,7 Har> riet Lane ?r Mrs. Harrison. '. It is a matter of gratulation thai the new mistress of the White Hons? after March 4 will be one well quali fied for the position. Mrs. McKinley nee Saxton is of American colonial del scent, who carries in her heart the tra^ ditions and achievements of this great Republic. Well "educated, and cnlr tured, she possesses the social grace requisite to the society leader. Ac* quainted with the prominent men of both parties, accustomed to the offir cial society in the Capital of the State) of Ohio, as well as in the Capital of the nation, she will bring to her task the experience and unconscious train ing which will make easy its perform: ance. Loving domestic' and literary life, yet keenly alive to national and international, home and foreign af: fairs, sh? will bring with her the at mosphere which befits the residence of our Chief Magistrate.?American Jew ess. *#' ?> m ?t The Mosaic Age in Literature. Biblical scholars will need to be alert to keep up with the substantial and unquestioned results of archeo logical discoveries. No field is more fascinating or confirmatory of the Scriptures, particularly those of the Old Testament. At a church congress recently held in Norwich, England, the proceedings of which were report ed in the New York Sun, Prof. Sayce, dealing with a great mass of newly discovered material in recent excava tions, said : "From Egypt, Babylon, Assyria; from Palestine itself, old literatures and inscribed monuments are pouring in coeval with the age of the patri: archs and of Moses;, and offering num berless opportunities for testing the truth and antiquity of the biblical re cord. We now know that the Mosaic age in the East was a highly literary one, as literary, in fact, as the age of the Renaissance in Europe, and that it would have been a miracle if th? Israelites, whether in Egypt or Ca naan, had not shared in the general literary culture of the time. In the century before the Exodus ac tive correspondence was constant ly going on from the banks of the Nile to those of the Euphrates. That correspondence was in the foreign language and foreign script of Babylonia, necessitating the exist "ence all over the civilized East of schools, libraries, teachers and pupils. The antiquity of Chaldan literature was equally great. The chief cities of the countries boasted of their li braries, some of which had been found ed six thousand years ago. At the very time when Abraham was born in Ur of Chaldea, one of its poets was composing a great epic in twelve books, which formed the close of the long preceding perion of epic verse. So far as the ancient East is concern ed, we cannot too soon rid ourselves of the notion that literature is a mod ern invention. "Moses then could have written the Pentateuch, and those to whom it is addressed could have read and under stood it. The books of the Old Tes tament are but a fragment of the He brew literature which once existed, and even apart from the possible cor ruptions of the text, the meaning of numerous Hebrew words and gram matical constructions is merely a mat ter of conjecture." ? Teacher?"Now, if I take your slate pencil what can I do with it?" Little Boy?"You tan turi your hair." ? Recent insurance statistics show that if the wife dies first the husband on an average survives nine years; while if the husband dies first the wife survives eleven years. ? Many merchants arc well aware that their customers are their best friends and take pleasure in supplying them with the best goods obtainable. As an instance we mention Perry & Cameron, prominent druggists of Flushing, Michigan. They say : "We have no hesitation in recommending Chamberlain's Cough Remedy to our customers, as it is the best cough medicine wc have ever sold,! and always gives satisfaction." . For-sale at 25 and 5U cents per bottle by Hill Orr Dru- Co. The Garden of Eden. The site of the Garden of Eden is not yet'-, .y, determine: with each authority as to com mand universal acceptance, and the claims of new localities are put forth from time to ? time,- perheps with more, confidence than the proofs justify. A Colora^?, lawyer thinks he baa found it in that ?rate?id fact, at no great distance from his resi dence and Haw office He haa, at any rate, >';:; found evidences of early human neenpaocy there, and has personally no doubt that bo has lighted on the primeval cradle of the . race. He la "convinced tint mankind originated In the chain of mountains pass ing through Colorado," and perncps hia reasons for his faith areas sound as those pat forth ii: proving itegonesfs else where. The tokenii left by these early dwellers do : not differ materially from those found in other partn of the world ; they know the'':r-y. use of fire 3nd how to pile itor.ee one on another, making wall?, and also how to . fashion of t^ern some rode wespons and instruments. These are the common traces of primeval man, and, unsupported by other e rtdence, may net assure every body that Paradise was in the Sen Luis Valley, or that Adam and Eve took op housekeeping in one of ita cavee, leaving the cloud'of their domaitic hearth r? j ?pon its Valleras'"testimony. Still, the theory of ti e resident attor Dey is an inter esting one, i ind q dite es plausible as lilt of King John, "of Abyeetalii, who aiweys maintained when sober, tout the Garden of ?3 Eden was h) h h dominions, and that Adorn and Eve and' the first born of the genera tions of men wore Abyssiniens, like him ? self. Preci? testimony ori the e?lject:is hardly to bu looked for, anc! among many .learned and unlearned conjectures that of the Colorado advocate is perhaps as well entitled to a hearing as those of Moses bar ? Cephas or Origen ? New York Tribune. '? All. Sorts of Paragraphs. * ^ ? Some people live on the install-*^ ment plan. ?r Half of your wotry to day is due j| to your neglect yesterday. ? The more we love men the more we can sec in them, to love. ? An excellent thig to remember is 4ihet every , story ?as .two eidea. '.' ? The unmeant mischief of fools is all-pervading and irremediable. ? The majority of people who want to be coaxed ought tc he clubbed. ? When some peo ple have nothing to say they seem to talk the most. r ? The same opportunities make a hero of one man and tin ass of another. ? Business covers a multitude of transactions just oui, of. the reach of the law. ' ?There are three varieties of the dog that never bark?the Australian dog, the Egyptian shepherd dog and the "lion-headed dog of Thibet." ? When a young :uanTs family ap proves of the girl he marries the young woman may safely be regarded as too good entirely for thifi hard and croci world of ours. ? "I hear you had a financial die- " cussion with Deadwood Pete. Did -"?'.; yon find him open to conviction?" "No, hut when I left him the doctor had to take fourteen stitches in him." ' .I? ? Perry Patetic?"Don't you wish;? we lived in a country where grub and booze growedon trees?" Weary Wat-aR eon?"Naw, I'd rather it growed on bushes. Trees have to be climbed." ? Blynkins?"A girl who can sing' ; just as soon as she gets up in the morniDg must have a sweet disposi-JjjB tion." Wyukins?"Not necessarily.JH She may have a grudge against some body in the neighborhood." , ? Husband?"There is one thing I can say for myself, anyway: I havefjH risen by my own efforts". Wife? "Never in the morning, John.__JUlo^^ tice that it takes two alarm clocks and all the members of the household to get you up tihen." ? The la? A. Stewart said: "?? .? you have two bushels of potatoes to sell, spend uh e price of one bushel in advertising the other." But there are ' dull men in the busr ^ess wv allow\ : their two bushels of t otatoeb to rot ; while a rival in business advertises and sells a oar load. For a pain in the chest a piece'of flannel dampened with Chamberlain's Pain Balm and bound on over the scat|? of the pain, and another on the back i, between the shoulders, will afford prompt relief. This is especially valuable in cases where the pain is caused by a cold and there is a tendency^ toward pneumonia. For sale by Hill Orr Drug Co. ? Paul Du Chaillu tells of the do ings of a queer African species of ant, which the natives call the bashikohay * which marches through the forests in a regular line. This line usually av er&ges about two inches in breadth and is often several miles long with not a break in the column. "All - <: along the line," says the great travel- . er, "large and fierce-looking ants act as officers, keeping the singular army >?| in order." ? A discovery of wonderful inter est to the followers of the Darwinian : theory of evolution was made not long since near the village of Sinkl?'a, Mexico, while workmen were prepar ing the ground for a new coffee plan- - tation. Thi:3 wonderfut ethnological find consisted of hundreds of skele tons of what some believed to be a * prehistoric people of very low order of intelligence. Each of the skeletons is provided v ith the,.honos of a.long, thick caudal appendage, which In life i turned up like a squirrel's tail; ? Eight hundred years ago alh?f the large cities of England had tig^' lar slave markets for the sale of whii.?_ slaves from all parts of the kingdom' In the "Life of Bishop Wulfstand" the writer says: "It was a moving sight to see in the public markets rows of young people of both sexes tied to- \ gethcr and sold like cattle?men, uri mindful of their obligations, deliver ing into-slavery their relatives, and even their own children." In anoth er part of this work it is u?ted that these slaves were "particularly young ? women, of line, pioportions and cij ?reat.bcauty." ) .