The Anderson intelligencer. (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, April 26, 1877, Image 4

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THE EDITOR. BY ^VlLLDRIVrE. 5 it editor who wills to please, IJInui 1.iiinl.lv crawl noon his Seneca. And kiss the hand that beats him ; Or if he dare attempt to w?lk, Must toe thc mark that othera?chalk, And Cringe to ail that meet him. Saya one, your subject* aro too grave Too much morality you have Too much about religion ; Give me some witch or wizard tale?, With slip-shod ghosts, with ?us and ecalea, Or feathers like a pigeon. I low to read, another cries. Those monstrous fashionable Ilea In other words, those novela, Composed of kings and queens and lords, Of border wara and Gothic hordes, That used to live in hovels. M*fii . ?. ? ' . ' Sb-no, cries one, we've bod enough fauch confounded lovesick stuff, To craso the fair creation ; Give us some recent foreign news. Of Russians. Tarka, th? Greeks and Jews, Or ony other nation. Ths man of drilled scholastic lore, Would like to ?ce o littlo more In scraps of Greek or Latin ; The merchant* rather have thc price Of Southern indigo and rice, Or India silk or satin. Another cries, I want moro fun, A witty anecdote or pun, A rebus or a riddle ; Some long for missionary news, And some-of worldly, carnal views Would rather hoar a liddle. The critic, too, of classic skill, Must dip in gall hi? gander quill, And scrawl against thc paper ; Of all the literary fools, Bred in our colleges and school.?, He cuts tho silliest caner. Another cric?, I want to sec A jumbled up varlciy Variety in all things; A miscellaneous, hoagc-podgc print, Composed, I only give thc hint. Of multifarious Hmall things. I want some marriage news, soya Miss, It constitutes my highest bliss, To hear of weddings plenty ; For in a limo of general rain None suffer from a drought, 'tis plain ; At least not one in twenty. I want to hear of death, saya one, Ofpeoplo totally undone, By losses, fire or fever; Another answers, full as wise, I'd rather have the fall and rise Of raccoon skins and beaver. Home signify a secret wish For now and then a savory dish Of politics to ault them ; But here iri real with perfect ease, For shon'd they swear ?hi moon was cheese, We ?1 ?? et should di spute them. Or grave or humorous, wild or tame, I-ofty or low, 'tl? oil tho same, foo haughty or too humble ; And every editorial wight Has naught to do but what is rightr And let tho grumbler grumble. HANS AND FRITZ* Hana and Frita were two Deutschers who lived aldo by aldo, Remote from tho world, its deceit and its pride; With their pretzels omi beer tho spore mo ments were spent, And the fruits of their labor were peaco and content. Hons purchased a horso of u neighbor ono day, And, lacking a part of tho Geld-aa they say Modo a call upon Fritz to solicit a loan, To help him to pay for his beaut ifni roan. Fritz kindly consented tho money to lend, And gave the required amount to hlB friend ; Remarking-hi? own simple language to quote "Bcrnaps lt va? bedder vo moko us a note." Tho note was drown ap in their primitive way "I, Hans, gets from Fritz fcc fly tollors to day" When tho question arose, tho note being made, "Vieh von holds dot bapcr until lt vas bald?" "You geepa dot," says Fritz, "und den you rlfl know You owes mo dot money." Soya Hons: "Dot lah ao; Dot makes mo remembers I haf dot to bay, Und I pringo you dor note und der money some day." A month had expired when Hans, aa agreed, Paid back the amount, ond from debt ho was freed. 8ays Fritz, "Now do', settles us." Hans re plies, '?Yaw ; Now who Sa!'es dot boper according by ' law?" "Igecps dot, now, aind'tit?" soys Fritz; "den you ace I alvoys remempera you bold dot to me." Soya Hans, "Dbl Ish so, it vos now shust so blain Dot I knows vot to do von I porrows again." -C. F. Aram fo Appleton* Journal JOT Hay. WAK-El)---A WIFE. Jabez Screggins was a bachelor of five? end-forty, stout ia person, rubicund in visage, and poss ess od of a comfortable ia como. Having witnessed a brother's chipv/rcck in matrimonial seas, ho WM Eomowliat shy of tb?? fair sex. However, arter spending the greater part of his as ia tonco in skirmishes with washer-women and boarding-house keepbi*, he thought if ho only had a nice wife-a superfino woman-life , might, etill hold eomo charms for him : thereupon he began to think ovar the list of his acquaintances. Not having mingled mach m feminine Botdety, he was aarorisad to find that the number sevt? comprised them all. After several agitating evenings spent in con sidering the pro/s and con's of each lady, ho waa no nearer tho desired! end than when he began. As a dernier resort, he concluded to write the name of each oligiblo upon a piece of paper and place tho slips within his oigar-casa ; ho would draw out five, and the remaining two should decide his fate. It happened that chance favored Mrs. Daniel fockard, a widow, fair, fat and forty,/ and Miss Seraphima Driscoll, a mature maiden of thirty-eight summen. Having arrayed himself in his best suit, being further adorned with a button-hole Douquet, Mr. Scroaria* sallied forth cn o pleasent..evening benton conaneaL HA concluded to call on the widow first; widows are conceded to be sash charm log creatures, you h?atr^? tte relict of tho lamented Daniel was, doubt lees. Na frills, nor furbelows, on her: . and, to crown all, she must be a capital housekeeper, aa she h*d had experience. Yes, it was better to consider her attrac tions first. Of ooaree, she would only be too happy to become Mrs. Seroggins and evory one knew she o* oed thehouso in which she lived, and, In addition, a moderr-to account at tan Wik. TV., ll. .mw- Ct- _L . . * - - - MMJ mv ?uro m. IXiVf^"' ~BTUtO. 11018000 thea? cogitations ho fauna himself at tho widow'*.domicile? Biogiog she bell, a . tidy maid servant ushered him into tho parlor. While walting for the relict ta appear he took an inventory of her sur roundings. What simplicity combined with excellent taste! Really, if that was vsd ^C=if?& cf 2-Crr. I"., how aiuiabi? did . che Appear ; bat her eossert failed to im press ono as favorably ; he looked some what tuross and gloomy. Well, Jabea had hoard a report ?jmewhero that the Pack ards did not live Very happily, owing to lack of congeniality ; of-course tba fault *r=s ca, $f i?uts^ Hi? aaditattons were interrupted by the entrance 40 Mrs. Daniel, who ex pressed hew^-v.delifhtcd to seo him, while indulging' in the mental soliloquy : "I wonder vh^, bringa $hat old chap j Jwre?" % After: spending an hour or ao in de-1 Ughtful converso, Mr. Scroggins wended hu way hoincwurd, thinking what a charming woman \/a.s Mn*. Packard, and that chu older . %vViier; wi? somewhat hasty in his warning concerning that much abused ci?as,or society; known JU? Jabez felt that ho had no timo to lose, rcrjicrr.br ring tho aOvlcut pru Verb, "Maku hoy while tho sun shines," and his first call was followed by a scries of otbe/s. He could not afford to spend time and money like the young fops who irrev erently styled him "old fogy." But that he might not scenj ton pointed in his at tentions he thought it but fairto give the /air Seraph i m a a chance. Acting upon the idea, he called upon the maiden one Sabbath evening and invited her to accompany him to hear tho Kev. Spout well. Thc gushing creature gladly ac quiesced, for, ?aid sue: "I du dote upon tho clerical brethren ; they are such heavenly mortals j they seem almost too angelic for this vilo earth." "That is pretty strong langunge, Miss Driscoll," answered Jabez, feeling him , self us good as any parson in the town. "Dou't you think there are as good lay men as preachers?" "La ! Mr. Scroggins, how you do talk." I Chatting thus on their way to church, Miss Driscoll thought, "here's a brand to be plucked from the burning," while Mr. Hcroggins came to the conclusion that if this (Ievout creature should happen to becomo thc partner of his weals and woes, ho would, in the time between now ana then, have to mind his n's and (j's. In her early youth Miss Driscoll had loved, "not wisely, but too well," in con sequence of which she considered herself qualified tu judge ot tho tender passion in its various phase?. At tho present time shu was interested iu a certuin dominie-more zealous ia good words than workH-in fact, no less a personage than the Iicv. Spoutweil ; and, as a proof of her interest, no moro earnest worker could bo found in thc parish thau she. As a consequence our boro found that he had more thna be had bargained for io tho shapo of ?ewing societies, tea-drlnk ings. and other mcetiugs for the benefit of tlie parishioner*, to ull of which he was pressed into the service as the escort of the first directress-viz, Miss Seraph! ma Driscoll. Jabez, after a short session of .such mild dissipation, began to lind it some what monotonous, and thought he would settle natters by popping thc question to tho "vldder" before he was a week older. As if to facilitate his design, he found, upon his return homo from business one evening, a dainty missive, the "Jabez ScroggniH" written unmistakably by ? lady. Upon opening, ho discovered it tc bo an invitation from Mrs. Packard tc spend tho evening, tho following Wed nesday week, at her home, to meet a few of her personal friends. "By Jupiter!" exclaimed Mr. Scrog gin:;, "ju.; t tho thing I PH fix matters all right now. I<et me sec," with a medita tivo air, "which will be the best wuy tc ask tho nil-important question? I won der, doe* she admire inc dignified or ten der Btylo? I think I'll practice both tho dignified style-ahem : My dca: madam, allow mc to express my appovn of your many sterling qualities, and, ns i token of my approbation. I now offer' - pshaw I that will never do; sounds toi Eriggish ! I'll try style number two ?uens her Christian name is Jane ; neve mind that will answer ut present. Thi will sound better : 'My dourest Jane, yoi can not fail to discern that I entertaii feelings of the most tender emotions tc wards yon,; arid earnestly entreat thf^ yoi ^ill 4oofc';W?tli favor upon: tty suit ao ranko ci? the-nappiest of m?ii by'-han: il all, that's no better than tho other I reckon Pd best truBt to luck. PU jut Rend. n. hiuidsomo bouquet with roy com plimcnts ; looks kind of high-toned, thu sort ofthing." Upon thc eventful evening Mr. Scroc gins made his entree in Mrs. Packard parlors, where ho found a scoro of hulk and gentlemen, with a few only of whoi was acquainted. By tho time li began' tpi wonder at tho uan-appearatfc of nia hostess he beard n slight noiso i the door and saw tho object of h thoughts entering tho room, leaning upo tho ann of a gen t h'm an, who was lookin at her with the conscious right of po: session. Jabez thought he had neve seen the widow looking so well. Sb was dressed in black velvet, with poit laco at tho throat, and held the idcutici bouquot that the admiring Mr. Scroggit had taken suob, pains to select. Lut, what does it all moan ? Frient are stopping forward and congrntulatin her. ls tho gentleman a long-lost bro? lu or cousin ? But tho aspirant for ma moriial1 dignities was notion;-; left., doubt. lu making tho circuit of tl room his channor stepped in front of hil and said : "Mr. Scroggies, allow mo to make yo acquainted with Mr. Hemsen." "Delighted to make your acquuiutanc Mr. ScroggitiB," reapouded Mr. Rc nisei "and I in turu take great plesuro in ii troducing you to my wife, Mrs. Renison Aids ! poor Jabe* was forced to wear smiling countouancc, while within fierce tumult was raging. Taking h departure as soon as consistent wita a] ficarances, hu hurried home, cursing h ack, and mentally consigning all wi dov to India, whoro they take their deparan from thia muudunu sphere in cotnpar with their H'-go lonlu. "AVnat's dorio cau't bo undone," wise: thought Jabezj about, a \VQ :lc after h first matrimoniar failure. ?halt bai to insole myself with Miss Driscoll. I1 just step around thero this evening ac novoit all Bottled, i No mora ^?raatin > "Good evening, Miss Driscoll." "Ah, good evening, Mr. Scroggius, am just making out a report of tho Ind China mission, to bo ready at the ne: meeting of thc society, for tho relief i tho heathens. I feel so deeply for tho Koi* creatures 1 so benighted in this ci jhtcned ago 1" "'My dear Miss Driscoll, I wish ye would tako os deep an interest in a POI heathen nearer home." (Guess thal put neatly, thought Mr. Scroggins.) "Why, how so, Mr. Scroggius? Pi my part, I have always found the hcatht very unappreciative. Really now, wou' you bollovo it, if you offer them alftf friendly advice, they i.amcdiatcly tui round' and ask you for a oap of toa or ?grain of sugar? I have no patience wit taem. In what manner could I be! you?" *'E" tinderiskis"* the C~L-? your humble servant, or, in other word will you accent my hand and heart, at become Mrs. Jabek Scroggins?" "Good gracious, Mr. Scroggins, y( take me completely by surprise! I nev thought of such a Ihisg," replied il Seraph* with unblushing effrontery-{fo botween you and I,' gent?o reader, si had thought of it frcqnoutly.) "Still, ?ou think your welfare depends upon ni ?-I-had better Bay-O, don't doare {Tabee I what would folks say if thi eawjrou . "iroik* go to bia-No, I meau go KamschatkaVi % t i tr ?.i t < v/ months from to-day ?" "1 leave it all to you," answered Sex phima, hiding ber head on his man boaoin. T?iey decided to go to house-keopir. aa Jabez yearned for the comforts o: home. And as Scraphima had no. nf relatives, they were to bo married at ); boarding-place, and immediately rerii to their own homo, whoro Jabez h caused an elegant wedding-supper IQ prepared. As ho .vid to himself: "A fenow never expects io bo marri moro than once in a lifo time, so w< invite a few of onr friends Jtnd do < thing up in ?tyft."<Hft? li The auspicious^ morn dawned brit ^mon.!-! The prospective bridegroom donned his new suit, bought for thc occasion, and spent thirty-five minutes iu ^r^njc iug his necktie, and alter a'geiiw?ieyr- j vey ho felt himself completo in every Earticular. On his way to the carriage e was surrounded by a crowd of gamins, and was saluted with the request, !tSay, boss, give a quarter to drink yer health?" Scattering some silver among them ho entered the coach am1, gave the driver the address, No. 146 Sycamore avenue. Leisurely alighting he ascended the ste j M and rang the door bell. Thc door was opened by the Indy ?if thc house, who, upou seeing him, exclaimed : ^'Oh ! Mr. Scroggitii, bo calm ; I dare say it is a fortunate escape for you." "What's thc matter?" tusked Jabez, "Has anything happened to Miss Dris coll-ia alie aiclc ?" "Worse, Mr. Hcroggins ! She lias gone off with thc licv. Ilpoutwcll !" "How! Where! What?" queried Ja bez, frantically. "They were married thia morning at his aister'?, and have gone on their wed ding trip." "Spoutwell ! Why, Spoutwell was to h ?tve msrried us. And she--'pcr?td?ou<? creature! Never again will I bolicve in a woman !" Entering the coach, Jabez was driven to what was to have been his wedded home. There, aa if in mockery, were thc friends invited to supper. Of course ex planations werr* given as to thc absence of thc expected bride, and the guests dis pt*raed in their ways, chatting freely over the pretty little scandal. While thc mia er*bi< host was left to grieve over his second matrimonial failure-his bridal toast had turned to funeral meats, and his desire, for n wife wa* a? though it had not been. It was a long time ere Jabez Seroggins regained the even tenor of his mind ; and, even yet, nothing can so lacerate his fcelinga as thc mention of a fascinating widow, or an enthusiastic devotee. A Goon MULE STORY.-" Pleasant Itidcrhoodtt" sends tho following "true mule story" to tho 6Y. Nickola* Mnyu zinr : Thc rescue of a mulo in Bienville Parish, La., from a well sixty feet deep, caused so much surprise and interest here lately that I ? nd an account to you. It is vouched for by ?onie of thc host citizens of this place, who witnessed it, ...?id I assuro you it is every word true. This mulo fell hind feet backward into ah old dry well sixty feet deep ; it ia suppose that the edge of the well caved in with him. All efforts tn rescuo him wa? fruitless, aa he was completely wedged in. Finally the owner of tho mule, sup Flosing that tho poor creature waa severe y iniured by the fall, decided that il would be moro merciful to have him killed than to allow him io starve to death. Not knowing auy other way of dispatching him, he hau a cart load of dirt thrown in upon him. But, instead of allowing himself to bo buried alive, his m ules nip quiully ?hook ou thc dirt I and pressed it down with hia feet, tbUB raising himself several ?nebea above his original position. Another load was thrown in, with tho ?arno result; and then some one said that if the mule would continuo tramping down the dirt it waa possible that he might be extrica ted; it would bo no barm to try, any way. Acting cn thia suggestion, all the farm hands went to work niling tho well, carefully pouring the dirt in on the sides, so aa not to hurt the mule. It was slow work filling that dcop well, but n hearty interest was awakened by tho persevor ance with which tho poor animal tram? pied down tho dirt, and all worked with willing hands. Slowly but Burel/, inch by inch, did he ! ascend, until tho great well was filled j"trUiiiu a few feet of the top; then, as I complacently os if nothing strange had happened, his muleahip stopped out ?afc and Bound I I think if he could have then been blesfied with the gift of speech, he would have said, "All's well that ends well !" Wasn't be a plucky fellow ? THE LIMITATIONS OF THE TELE PHONE.-There appears to be some draw backs to the entire success of the tele Shone. Thc experimental trial nt Phila elphia and New York, Monday evening, demonstrated, among other things, the following facts ? First, the music ia audi ble only at the receiving end of the cir cuit. The audience at Steinway Hall heard the air of "Home, Sweet Home" very distinctly, but tho spectators who saw Prof. Bosoovitz playing tho piano at the Western Union office, in Philadel phia, heard nothing but the successive thuda of the keys. Second, the telephone admits only of tho transmission of dis tinct notes: it ia not capablo of repro ducing a harmony, or combination of sounds. So far aa tho music itself is con cerned, a child thumming susie1 'Meli* known nir with ono hand would afford quito aa much entertainment. It follows from these facts that thc telephone, al though a marvel of invention, ia still little more thau a scientific toy, to he ad mired, like Maelzol'a chess player, but of no present practical use. The principle which it involves, however, is oqetof,io\ menso importance, and may yet bo So dor veloped as to auporcedo thc telegraph sign manual with the human voice. Baltimore Gazette. I'HE DURATION OF LIF;?.-In Massa chusetts mortality statistics showing the average duration of human lifo are care fully collected, and aro unusually accu rate. Recent investigations in that direction reveal some vr.-y curious nnd equally interesting fttcio. Tho Jongc^t number of years is given to unemployed men who livo to tho ago of 68-a severe commentary upon the wisdom"?f'those' sages who have taught tho healthfulness of toil; tho shortest, 22, is allotted to factory operatives. Tho average life;of|i a Judgo is 65 years ; of a farmer,!C4 ; .'of |i bank officers, 68 ; of coopers, 58 f" public I officers, 67 ; clergymen, 56 ; shipwrights, . 155; hatters, lawyers and rope . masera, |! A ; blacksmiths, merchant.!, calico prin ters and physicians, 51 ; butchers, 50 ; carpenters, 49 ; masons, 48 ; ' .Hors and jowelers, 44; manufacturera, bakers, painters, shoemakers and mechanics. 48 ; editora, 40 ; musicians, 8?1 ; printers, 38 :. machinists, 86 ; teachers and clerks, 3*f Theso figures- furnish food for much curious speculation. HURRYING TO THE STORE.-During tho last dull season a well-known Chicago merchant was observed taking giant steps in th? direction of his placo of business at seven o'clock in the morning. A rival tradesman, who wu well assured that h?"go solea was not thc motive that in duced this rapid transit, hriled tho swift "commercial traveler,'' and interviewed him as follows : "What's hroko loose, Charley T. Where are you going in such a hurry ?" "I'm irkini? *? the stors." "Trade must bo active with you !" "It's not trade that has called me out" "It'a not a woman, is it?" "No ; of co ^not. ~Bnt I'll eiolairt the thing to you to keep down .y^ouv in-1 fernal suspicions. There aro three part ners in oar store, and we hove Only two chair-. The lost man that eon?M In *ibe ?norning has wo stand np all day. It is very important for me to get to the store early this morning-good day." And Charley "lit out" liko a Tcportcr for a morning newspaper ?>i route to a fire. - A fftcctiouH physician, an old bach elor, said the other day to a single lady : "How can you with a clear conscionco snarer St. Peter when 'you shall reach heaven's gato for your heartlessnes in re fusing so many marelajro I offers ?" Tho1 ? ?i t? y aro?iy replied, "I shall tell tbis I Apostle that Dr. --did not ask ?c."J FARM, GARDEN AND HOUSEHOLD. 1 n,? TJLA.. 1 .?.JP iLjlL ti?. i.a_i.' ail hear?! BO much of the "big tree? of California" that when this ?ubiecl in mentioned one's mind naturally nie* ofT weat of tho ltocky^Mouotoina.. At the C? li t? ?J ii i ul >* v cn\i- ncciiouu of unra frvui a Bingle tree HO immense that one hun dred men could uland within the circle made by the bark, as it aloud enclosing a space just toe size of tho trunk of the tree. Tbt* came from California, and tva*, perhaps, thc largest tree in the world. There have, however, recently been discovered some tree* in North Car olina that are "no sardines." In surveying the route of tho Spartan burg and Asheville Railroad the engin eers encounteied somo chestnuts that seemed to nestle theirs burs in the upper firmament. A contractor had to eradi cate one of these, as it atood directly in tho way of tho track of the lUiad, and it measured ten feet three inches across the stump, and was solid to thc centra. Thia information we received from the President of the Spartanburg and Ashe ville Railroad, who induced z party of friend? to vint?, the route to enjoy the magnificent climate aud scenery ot that hitherto unexplored section of Western North Carolina. An ox-president of n railroad was in the party, and when he saw those mammoth chestnut trees he asserted that the fence question was set tled, for he intended to induce the citi zens of his county to contract for enough rails to enclose the county, and then de stroy all the eros? fences. That's a good idea ; for a now chestnut rail fonce around tho county would last till you and J are gone, and what need we care then about good fences ? Mean while, wake up tho Legislature upon the subjeet of tho fence or stock law, and let us see if there ure not big trees enough up there to run a fenco from I'oinsot Spring to the nirtheast corner of Horry, and .if so wo will make firewood of all tho cross fences in the State. Let ur. have a fence law to secure Col. Duncan's road a big rail splitting and a lively freight cus tom.-//. ll'. Ailen, in frew* and (bu rfir. FIRST Wornt i KO OF CORN.-If the ?and his been packed hy rain since thc corn was planted, run close and break deep-if the land is close and open, the ploughing ?H not important. In that event use plows that will go over rapidly and save labor*-a shovel, or sweep, or cultivator will answer. Avoid throwing much dirt to thc young corn, only enougn to cover up any young grass that may be present, but be aura it is well covered ; much hoeing will not pay in a corn crop, tho plough alone ought very nearly to make-of course thinning and some chopping is generally unavoibablc. Thin to a stand ns soon os danger of frost ond worm is over. Nothing in moro prejudicial to a plant than having anoth er plant, with the same wants as itself, growing beside it-the struggle for exis tence *hen become?, intensified. If the middles are not very hard or foul, and time presses, they need not be ploughed out at thia working In any event puib on rapidly to give cotton its first working j iiitt an noon as it will bear it. The farmer who keeps well ahead, not only stands tua best chance to make the best crops, but will do it w?th very much leas actual labor than the laggard. Let it never be forgotten that the time to kill grass is before it can be seen. Resides, every one knows that early and frequent workings make cotton grow off rapidly-and nn early growth ot stalk is one of the surest ante-cedents of a largo crop of bolls. .--1-, n . THE FARMER AND HIS BUSINESS. The farm is the only place where a farm cr can obtain a practical education. It is to him what; the laboratory is to the chemist-the place to acquire, or at least to perfect hit agricultural education. The timo in which to acquirq.it is as long as that which bo spends on the farm, even if it be threo acore and ten years. If he is a good scholar, and ambitious, he will roaster his profession; but if stupid or indolent, he will find little to learn in connection with it. The model farmer possesses those ac tivo habits, that practical turn of mind, that intuitive forecast, of the future state of tho markets, that general Intelligence and strict integrity, which, combined with a scientific knowledge of his call inga, will alway;; insure success. You will observe that this implies a great deal ; nothing less than that tho farmer should be a well developed man. And what calling tends moro certainly and directly to a full, manly development than that of tho agriculturist, when prop erly pursued? WORTH KNOWING.-Tho Wiener Med icinithe Prate mentions a case in regard to tho management of kerosene lampa, which it behooves those-using this kind of light to notice. A merchant returned hoirie about twa o'clock at nighty and found his wifo lying on the bed groaning beauly and unconscious. She waa wait ing his return, and at last, tired out, laid herself on the bed, after turning down thc'Wick of a' lighted kerosene lamp as low.aa possible, without extinguishing,it. Iri this; position of tho 'wlak,' if tho; oil. is bad,"a vapor'mixed with an innumerable Siautity of specks of soot diffuses itself rough the apartment, and so covers the eyes, noaa and respiratory ergans^that pn falling asleep ono rumi tue rtaVof suffo cation. It ia always advisable, therefore, in the use of kerosene lamps to allow the wick to burn brightly or to extinguish it entirely. - Kleptomania in Now York has de veloped n negro who steals only from tho doctors. There is method In hi? madness slmM-ttls-dwlftred Ufur'flB'tBsTet'eTery thing bnt their prescriptions. - "Take notice that when this post is dbi Bf"sigh!, it ii :?i?t ?afo to pass this WVfllW '?he intoitlgent warning placed ob a spoV in inroad in Cambridgeshire, England, very liable to be Hooded. - In LosrAngJbles, ? Cfi?-, a benevolent family took in a tramp and nursed him during a long sickness. And now he sues for pay for a lit*** work that ho did about tho nouso wi ile ho waa recovering. - An Omaha man is doubly in trou ble. Ho deserted his wife to olopo with ? girlj and the ?tifo is chasing him. Thon ho deserted the .girl, and she is chasing him. Thc chasers have joined in tho pursuit, and he fears the worst if they catch him. - Now is the timo of tho year for ama teur agricultural editors to indulge in ad vice united to tho season. One in a neighboring city, who has a window gar den three feet long and fifteen inches wide, rays it ia time to whitewash your hoe handles, trim your clothes line, trans plant your coal scuttles, and bury your ?riudstono to prevent it j from freezing, 'earling calves should be shod, and hens' nails pared at once. - A New Orleans paper notices the Cuiiuua faut inai .onureiv dinerent weathers and climates prevail on the two banks of the Mississippi river. A frost on ono. side seldom passes to the other, and while tho right bank may be flooded wlUvfiTginrtn nina UialnA .roay.be tuffar ing from severe drought The west bank regularly "produces heavier lugar* crdps th?U th5 C??; hank, kira tho uiircrellce is constantly increasing. ?uD? yoong noan -in ?abuojbe, ?o%a, wont on Saturday week to a country dance and did not return borne until the church bells were ringing the next morn ing. His father told bim he must go to church, rad he went Before tho minis ter h'jA finished the opening prayer the your >f, reveler was sound asleep and dreaming of the dance. An old lady who sat next to him touched hi* hand to arouse him, whereupon he seized her wrist and aHan?*4 *? oaiji-ijjt-'.uw.xf circle to the lift .Swing''th? girl with WHAT I KNOW ABOUT VEOCTINE. I IOPT* Borros, May ??, WTO. rr. it. R*r*r.jfn. Uta. : ! ' Dear Slr-I luv? L*doo?#S dermo ic expervmce w'th tho VEOETINE. For dyspepsia, ger?? d? Milty, *>><. Impure blood, tho VruETiHE ls su perior to anything which I bato ev?r BKd. I commenced UtkJnt VKQETIJIE ?bout tte taladle of iMt winter, and, titer using ? tow bottles, it. K,iilr?l<r rn ml tn? nf d ri now la. and my DkXM ?ever wu In to good condition as ftt th spree/nt tliiie. It will afford tne pleasure to giro any further particulate rel. Uve to whet I know at*;ut thlt good medicino to any one who wit! rall or odilreai we at my residence, 330 Albeit street. Very respectfully, WONKOK PARKER, 386 Athens strict. Dyspepsia. SYMPTOMS.-Want of app?tit.-, rltlngof food nnil wind from the stomach, acidity of tho stom ach, heartburn, dryness and whiteness of the tongue in th? morning, sense of distension in tho stomach and bowe!*, sonietiuiea rumbling and pain; costiveness, v.hlch ls occasionally Inter rupted by diarrhea; paleness of the urine. Tue mouth is clammy, or han ? cour or hitter futo. Othor frequent symptom? aro waterbrash, palpi tation of the heart, headache, and disorders of tho censes, aa seeing double, etc. There ls gen eral debility, languor and n-erslon to motion : detection of the spirits, disturbed sleep, and frightful dreams. Gainad Fifteen Pounds of Flesh. Sot-in BERWICK, MO., jan. 17,1872, H. lt. Srr.VF.xs, Ksn. : I>ear Slr-I hare had dyspe|>sla in its worst ....... .<R. JK- ..... ?roars, and h*v~ fr.ken hundreds of dellars' worth of medicino without obtaining any relief. In September last I com menced taking tho VEOETINE, tinco which time my health liss steadily improved. My food di gests ?veil, and 1 have gained li ft con pound? of flesh. There are sevorai others in this place taking tho VEOETINE, and all havo obtained relief! Yours truly. THOMAS E. MOORE. Overseer of Card Room, 1'crtsinouth Co.'* Mille. FESL &1YSELF~A NEW MAN. NATICK, Mass., June 1,1872. Mr. If. It. STEVENS: ?JeerMr-Throagh tho edvlco and earnest persuasion of the Rev. K. S Mest, of thlsplace? I h.i>u btjeu Ullin;; VEOETINE fur djapepsU, ot ?vhich I have antlered for years. I have used only two bottles, and already feel myself a uow luau. Respectfully, hu. J. \Y. CARTER, GOOD EVIDENCE. CINCINNATI, NOV. as,1872. Mr. H. II. STEVENS: Dear Slr-Tho two bottles of VEOETINE far nlshed me by your agent my wife ha? used with great bennflt. For a long tim? she haa been troubled with, dizzimwa and costiveness ; those troubles are now entirely removed by tho uso of VEOETINE. Shu was also troubled with dyspepsia and con eral debility, and has boen greatly benntlted. THOMAS OM,MORE, 22?>ViY mt ct rec t. BBMABI.B EViDBffCK. Mn. II. R. STEVENS: Dear Slr-I will mi>et cheerfully add my testi mony to lim great number you have already re ceived In favor of your great and good medicino. VEOETINE, for 1 do not think enough can be tala in Hs pralso. fur I was troubled over thirty ycart with that dreadful disease, Catarrh, and had such Dad coughing spells that it would teeni at though I could never breathe any more, and VEOETINE has cured me; and I do feel to thank God all tho time thal chere ls to good a medicino aa VEOETINE, and I also think lt one of tho best medicines for coughs and weak sinking feelings at the stomach, and advise everybody to take the VEOETINE. for I can assure them lt is one of the best medicines that ever was. MRS. L. GORR. Comer M n gail no and Walnut streets, Cambridge, MBBB. APPRECIATION. CHARLESTOWN, MOSS., March 19,18C9. H. R. STEVEN?: This ls to cortlfy that I havo used your "Blood Preparation" (VEOETINE) in my family for several yoart, and think that, for Scrofula or Cankerous Humors or Rheumatic affections, lt cannot bo excelled; and ns a blood purifier and r pring medicine it la tho best thing I have ever used; and I have used almost everything. I can cheerfully recommend it to any ono in need of such a medicine. Yours respectfully, Mas. A. A. DIN8MORE, 19 Russell street. Veget?n? ie Sold by all Druggists, T?TT'8 HEED THE PILI'3 TUTT'b -CXMLulUMJ JLdJEfl FILLS TUTT'S--. ? SS A sj s PILLO ?STTI Woras of Advice, mn TOTT'8 PILLS TL'TT'SRKSPKflTFULLY offered by ILLL3 TCTT'S AV W, H. Tu TT, M.O.. for many pjfrS TiiTT'ciyearn Demonstrator of Anatomy In nrl TO TTT-TT'R "IS."edlcal College or Georgia. _ lll'l'l ?Hi. ?,,2 Thirty ycart* experience In thefiLL2 TUTT S practice Of mcdlclue, together with PILLS TTJTT'S lineen yean* test ot Tutt's Pills, PILLS TUTT'S and the thousands of testimonial! PILLS TUTT'il given of their efficacy, warrant ino PTT.T.O TUTT'S 111 ?ayInc that they will positively PILLS TUTT'; "" TUTT'; TUTT'; TUTT'S dice. Constipation. Pife*'. Kkl'n lils- PILLS TUTT'S casci. Bilious Colic. Itheumatlsm, PILLS TUTT'S Palpitation of the Heart. Kidney PILLS TUTT'S Affections. Female Complaints, 4c" PILLS TI'TT'U all ?f which result from a derange- n.T.g if.ii.S "lent of the Liver, no medicine has LiI1 J'S sSlzJLZ ever proven so suceessful as PlUiif/ifS TUIT'STUTT'S VEGETABLE LIVEItPlLLS TUTT'S PILLS. PILLS TUTT'S ..-.-.: PILLS TPTT'8 : TOTT'8 PILLS . PILLS TUTT'S ? CURE SICK HEADACHE. : PILLS TUTT'8 :......: PILLS TUTT'8 ;.-.: PILLS TUTT'8 : W.TV? PILLS : PILLS TUTT'S : REQUIRE NO CHANGE OF i PILLS TUTT'S . DIET. : PILLS TUTT'S !.-.. PILLS TUTT'8 ..".".-.-? FILLS TUTT'S . TCTT'S PILU : PILLS TUTT'S -ARE PURELY VEGETABLE.: PILLS TUTT'8 :...._? PILLS TUTT'S ..-.--.--) PILLS TUTT'S . TDTTM PILLS : PILLS TUTT'S . NEVER GRIPE OR NAU8E- : PILLS TUTT'S : ATE. : PILL8 TUTT'S :-.".".I PILLS TUTT'S .-.?.: PILLS TUTT'S : THE DEMAND FOR TUTT'S: PILLS TUTT'S -PILLS ls not conunsd to (Mtj PILLS TUTT'S -country, bnt extends to all parts: PILLS TUTT'S -of tho world. : PILLS TCTT'S !...-.*: PILLS TLI'T'8 ?-?.-.: PILLS TUTT'S : A CLEAR HEAD, elastic limbs, j PILLS TUTT'S -good digestion, sound Sleep,! t-lLLS TUTT'S -buoyant splriU, Sos appetite,: PILLS TCTT'S -are som? of the results of the; PILLS TUTT'S -uso o? TUTT'S PILLS. : PILLS TUTT'S 5...._.?.uuMt.-M.._5 PILLS TUTT'S :.: PILLS TUTT'S : AS A FAMILY MEDICINE : PILLS TUTT'S ; TUTT'8 PILLS ARE THE ? PILLS TUTT'8 . BEST-PERVECTLY HARM- : PILLS TUTT'S : LE83. : PILLS FTTT'a :.\ PILLO o1 "8 :.-.-J PILLS A. :i"8 : SOLD EVERYWHERE. . PILLS TUTT'S : PRICE, TWENTY-FIVE CTS. : PILLS TCTT'S i._._...": PILLS TUTT'S f-~.".~.-j PILLS TUTT'S : PRINCIPAL OFFIO E | PILLS TUTT'S : 18 NTREXT, PILLS TDTT*8 ! Bi ETA TOB U. j PILLS TUTT'8 ?._^..~~.PILLS DR. WTT S CiPCtfORAHT. This unrivaled preparation has per formed some of the most astonishing cures that are recorded in the annals of history. Patients suffering for years from the various diseases of tho Lungs, aftei trying different remedies, spending thou sands of dollars in traveling and doctor ifig, "have, by the use of a few bottles, anttfely recovered their health. OR. TUTT, ^Toy.A^.o.una Dear ste t-Wbea la Ai Kan. tail winter. X used yon? Expectorant for my oough. and realised more bontfit Crora lt thauisayUilncXevor took- I asa ae weU tatt X wai sot go to nocida nest winter aa X Intended. Send me one dosen bo ttl aa. by expresa, for sots? fritada. A I.TB BP tflfraiUNOA Itt-Wait Thlrty-ftrrt Street. Boston, lasaexy li, ?14. This eertlflee that I have recommended the ute ol Dr. Tutt's Expectorant far tUaeas*? of tho lacet for the peat two ye*??, and to ay knowledge many bottles been need by my patienta wita the hap piutt results. In two oSAoer. her? lt waa thought oon.. tinned ooiuamptton had taken placo the JJhrps xtesVnt effeotedeenre. JJ. XX. SPlZAQtrjs, ,>CX>. "Wo oan notspaiJttoo hJjhlyof Dr. Tutt'a ix? pootorane? ana fer tho take of a off arl ag hum Mi ty Hope lt may beesmo mote lenerelly known."-Citais 7IAH ADVOCATE._ ? ' f^)ld by.l>r?ta?1<te. Price ?l.OO ^ MARBLE YA?p. THE undersigned respectfully . Infcnns the publls that he has j-ist roeoive,t a stock of new Marble, of excellent f{na\iiy, Mid will at once open a Marble ffaratliar Da7ld White's Blacksmith Shor?l^lj]Kt Street, where ho will keep on hand first ntnutt al/w.Ir cnwl la HIOTIHTOI t/v illl ?ll .-.T-_1 for T Monuments, Tablais . Head Stones, In fine style. Give Hie a caii ami ??ve money, aa I am determined to give satisfac tion ia my worky and to - AU orders at such prices os I cannot bo undersold. SAMUEL MUUrilY. /? Anderson, ti, O. Feb 8,1877 30 .JQ;,L n-:-:-? THE U' PIEDMONT MAMUFACTURrfiC J?AN3FACTtraKas or , : * SHIRTINGS and SHEETINGS. MILLS AT WEDHONT. 8. C. tf. P. HAMMKTT.."Preeident and Treas. Post Offioo address-Oreen villa, 8. O, ; KAHLIN BEATTIE...Secretary. Post Offloe addreas-OreenvlU?. 8. Cr ROTAL KALLOCK.Superintendent. . Post Office n/Llr..-t-IMedrnont- Pl C., G. H. r. F?rVT, Agent, Anderson, 8. C. Jan 18,1877 27 ! Gm, a 3 S r-i t? g a? H. , c lg lpt1 H g s?3 strip! & Fi "I ?S??| H E ts 'gala 2 |> g's2'! ogg rs n ? ? ?C '-.. S ls? . 2 5? S -TI T??7' 09 ? P r- 2 ? s "? s* ?y. rr ? S ? lbs ?3 HE lp , r? !>. a? -3. H <D j~ < O Cli -io d r . SI?? KCl) PU ?M S- s> > .8 ? s >a -i ^ O g - M . -1 O Pl . ?r H Ho * ?5' 5 o' ij ?i e.3i W s-5 Co = 2 O* 2 - O .1 B SI?. ?5 35 S'S g*?>ti*3tl 2.2 ? 11.8a s al ss |g g -* ffi o 3 3 ^ <V ca 2 O P > a-" fa* M 2 g ~co . 5? S'S 3 s? I sf ?| ? 3 I 1 ff M tl ? o's, *< a I _ ft 1 O & O e 2 s sr 5 ?ig o s*? ^3 5 3 ? S S S ? S*P - P ra Z!~ ci _ - re ero s ~& ~~ "er S. G.S =3 ra ra'C^ HT 2 3 n 7* 3 ?"?< 3 ?43 2-"* 5 5. ^1 ???.??? 3 r?llll?l H 0 H fl H 0 2 ? g g Kg S-G^1 ?BS! -fi 3?? SS3?3 5 -I?p -f8^ S g S^r Ssl?S g 'S*a??^ ? vs ? |lwP **?-? tm* ?.at?*: c_ *? LIBERAL TERMS FOR FfRTOZIRS F?K I Ht Yt7VI&?4&7-?.' '4 v-i:.?*. Hf . . TT K OFFER fiiB DAJWC., through our .igviiut, mc ioiiowmg Uenuine F?rtil. izers, long established nnd will known in this County, and etill Warrant?! a? |uHy Up to standard : Carolina Fertilizer, Bradley's Patent Phosphate, Palmetto Acid Phosphate., JEO-fFor terms apply to'thc following Agents in Anderson County : BLECK LEY, BROWN ifc CO., Anderson, S. C.Carolina Fertilircr und Add Phos A. B. TOWERS, Anderson, S. C.Bradley's Patent Phosphat?. J, C. CHERRY, Pendleton, S. C.Carolina Fertilizer and Acid Phosphate T. CHYMES ?t CO., WilUatnston, S. C.Carolina Fcrtilixcr and Acid Pbosplmi,. C. E. HORTON, Williamston, S. C.Bradley's Patent;Phosphate. A. J. STRINGER & CO., Belton, 8. C.Carolina Fertilizer and Acid Phosphate. LEE & SLOAN, Hones Path, S. C.Bradley's Putent and Acid Phosphate. ?. 8. MCCULLOUGH, Hones Path, S. ?.Carolina Fertilizer and Add Phosphat?. ir?*- Call rfml see the above agent* before purchasing your Guanos. Wo nell th?ra for Cash, <>n good credit, or for Cotton at fifteen cents per pound. Feb 1. 1M77 GEO. W. WILLIAMS & CO.. CharlcHton, S.'o _?_ 3ui THE BEST PUMP IN THE WORLD. NOTHING conduces more to GOOD HEALTH than PURE WATER, nished by the Such is fur DOUBLE ACTING STONE FORCE PUMP, Manufactured by J. C. Nichols & Bro., Atlanta, Ga., which brings thc water pm? and frral, from the bottom of the well. No slime or tilth collects on thc pump or in the well. No snails, worms or green moss pots about the water. It is free from rust or other impurities and can bc operated by a small child with ease, and brings thc water fresher than any oth er Pump. It. is of stone, glazed inside and outside, and never will decay. It improves tho water beyond a doubt by ventilating thc well, and keeping it like a moving stream of water. With a hose attached, it become? a good tire-engine, ever ready at your door to extinguish thc flames th case of fin;. It is bqttcr and cheaper than insurance. It? work ing givey complete satisfaction, as those acquainted with it will testify. It is a homo enterprise, permanently established, and relies on ita own merits, upon which it asks your patronage. This Pump is represented in Anderson and atljoLum* Counties, together with tho Counties of Hart, Elbert, Wilkes and Oglethorpe in Georgi^ ALONZO JL.. WELCH, Anderdon, S. C. Send In orders at once for Pumps, and they will be delivered and put Sn immediately. He means business. April ft. 1877_38_ BUSINESS IS BUSINESS! AND those who carry on business are compelled to have money. That is our situation a? present. Therefore, we earnestly call upon nil parties indebted to us to pay at once and SAVE COST. Prompt payment is a great source of friendship, and it is oar desire to remain friendly with our customers, if they come forward promptly and pay us what they owe. Money wo are obliged to hoyo. Wo offer au inducement of ono cent per pound for Cotton over market voltio to those indebted to us, and wish to settle their Ac counts. We have on hand a large stock of GHOOBBIBS ! Flour, Bacon, Shoulders, Hams, Coffee, Sugar, Molasses. ALSO, Boots, Shoes, Leather, Saddles, Hats, Caps, DryiGoods, Tobacco, Cigars, Wines. Liquors, Iron. ?Steel, And all Farming Implements. Any person or persons purchasing Goods will benefit themselves by calling and clam ming our stock Indore purchasing elsewhere. We buy for Cash and sell for robb only: therefore, wc arc enabled to sell cheaper. Call and judge for yourselves, and be cominan of this fact. 1 MCGRATH & BYMM, Mccunnies* How. ARE YOU GOING TO PAINT? Then Use New York Enamel Paint Co-'s CHEMICAL F A. 11ST T ! ruin! '. l< it READY for use in WHITE, and over One 'hundred different Cotort. Made of strictly prime White Lead, Zinc and Linseed Oil. chemically combined, warranted Much Handsomer and CAeqner, and to last TWICE AS LONG as any other Paint, lt has taken the FIRST PREMIUMS at twenty of the State Fairs of the Union, and is on MANY THOUSAND of the finest houses in the country. Address, I NEW YORK EN^MLE?L. PAIN'S? COMPANY) I 103 Chambers Street, Now York. Prices Reduced. Sample Cards sent free. May 18, 187G 44 ly AT COST. "tXTK offer the following articles at Prime Coat Tor Cash, to wit : Haddien, TV Ladies' Dress CoodH, Etcady-madc Clothing, Cleats* and Wo men*' Hhuwls, a splendid lot>.of them ; KI? ?It ct s and Turning Plows, Our object is to (pdt Keeping most of these lines of Goods, and we want to dispose of them. Persons indebted to us-we mean yon and everybody else-are earnestly re quested to pay uj) at once. Wc wont our money, and its got toc?me. We still ke?p a large stock of Goods ou hand, and if you pay up what you owo in?, per haps after the 4th of March next wc may credit you again. . Wc arc agents for the well established Fertilizers-thc Wando and the Carolina and sell them for cash, on good credit, and for Cotton next Fall. Anderson, 8. C., Jan. 28, 1877* DLECKLEY, BROWN & CO. SIMPSON & SADLER, HENSON If OUSE CORNER, Dealers in Drugs, Medicines, &c., Are just receiving a large variety of FRESH GARDEN SEEDS, From those most reliable Seed Gardens of llob't Buist, jr., D. M. Ferry fz Co., and Johnson, Robbins <fc Co., at wholesale or. retail. ALSO, CHEMICALS FOR Homo Made Fertilizer, At l?'w?st prk".* for Cash. Feb i, ?BI / 2U WM. KTTENOEH. II, P. VJlMO?itl. EXTENDER & EDMOND, ' Ttioltnioiit?, Va., ?. .(?.... i -".j * ;. '? MANUFACTUREOS PORTABLE and STATIONARY ENGINES, Boilers, of all l imb, ? Circular Saw Mills, Grist Mills, Mill Gearing, Shafting, Pulleys, ?c., American Turbine Water Wheel, > Cameron's Special Steam Pomps. )/3r~ Rend for Catalogue. Nov 2, 1870 Ki IV Greenville and Columbia Railroad. CHANGE OF SCHEDULE. ' Passenger Train? run dally, Sunti?y c^cpttd. connecting with Night Trains on South OjWBM Itollroad up and down, On ?nd after W*dnr?U?r. March 1 ?. tho following will ho thc Schedule. WiLHITE & WILLIAMS. Auderson, 8. C., DEALERS ?N DRUGS, MEDICINES, CHEMICALS, dec, LAMP and LAMP GOODS, PAINTS, OILS, VARNISHES, BRUSHES, OYF STUFFS! A-r A Full Line of PERFUMER Y And TOILET ARTICLES, CIGARS and TOR A CCO, And ali other Article? uen?llr '?yd in our i ' line. t?? f i ..? ll NEW CROP GARDEN SEEDS, at Wholesale and Retail Jan 2o\ 1S77 ? Lcavo Columbi? at-.-.* *5 * Lcavo Alston.g ? ?JJ Leave Newberry." n ? ru Leave Hodges.-.- '??Rm Leave Pelton.;.5 22 S 2 Arrive a*. Greenville.. 35 P T . DOWN. , ?.? Leave Greenville at.:..... ' J ? *" Leave l??lton.? ? I?re Hodges.?j.?o p T Leave Auton.n.u.;.? K S ? Arrive ?Columbia-bnt?&TCX&B* V 'ANDEKSON miANCH-DOWN. Leavo Walhalla..........i..... 5 ? ? ? Lcavo I'eiryvlllo.? ? ? al ^Torcadlcton.,.jw? \ g , n Leta ye Anderson.?.:v : 7 A ? ? ?> Arrive at Walhalla. .5 li S S f??ve Ferry viUo.J..-.I ?5 ? ", I^aro TepnletoT?,.. .;.-- ?So? I>taro Anderson..:.-." 2 JX i, ? Leave Belton.-.?.- ZZ? THOMAS DODAMF.AD, Gen. Supt Millinery Goods. MISS DELLA KEYS begs to inform tho Ladies of Anderson and surrounding .ountry tliat she ia now receiving select assortment or SPRING GOODS, such na ladles' Hats, Bonnets, Ribbons, Flowers, Collars, Cuffs, &c, which will bo sold at the lowest figures for tho.cash. A,full assort ment of Summer Goods will be added to my stock in u few weeks, and every effort made to please my customers in styica and Srices. Millinery, ' MantuarMakfng and tamn?t?c n**-*p^jsu Ul is usu^l MISS DELLA KEYS, No. 3 Brick Rango, Up Stairs. March 22, 1877 30 3m Chanqe of Schedule on Spuih Caro lina Rata road. . ClIAKI BCTON, Match 13.:19.?. On and arter thia date, tho Kellar Day Tgj*? ger Train w III run na follow?, 8onday? gj Leave Columbia at.~.SJ " ? Arrive at Charlesloti at.-.-? ?K ?ia Ux e Charleston at,.r.* ^ " m ATrlve at Columbia r.t. 1 iioiiT Kxr-nrs* ACCOMMOPATIOX TSA"1 LcaVe'Cotuhibln ut.-.-r~? ?A S ar Arrive at Charleston at.-J Tipm Leave Charlciton at.-.-? m Arrive at Columbia at.r ;-"riTi5ibla ?. Camden t rain- will run Jhfongh io Colutaoi? Mondar". Wednesday? ?nd ?aturdar?. tf r.vK-4--i.'-r.h:n'f'r. ?J.?. "iLS Vt*