The Anderson intelligencer. (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, April 04, 1872, Image 1
We^Kection of ?^ AefflTRniiTice-Fi^siaeiit
How it is Conducted.
There is nothing-more complicated than the
election of President and Vice-President under
our present political system. How it could
ever ^pave been devised is a mystery. -There-are
fejy.even amoug our most intelligent men who
"tan*explain from the commencement the man?
ner in which a President and Vice-President
are elected, .and the great mass of the people
are profoundly igrierant,- We* propose here to
trace the election up from its germs. First,
there is the primary town, or local.caucus for
'the-different' parries; then comes the county,
tiistrict and State conventions; through that
machinery delegates are appointed to a nation?
al convention. These national conventions
..nominate, candidates. "Thesj nominations,
n?wever, legally amount to nothing. . Each
State elects a number of Electors correspond?
ing to its Senators and Representatives in Con?
gress, and they vote for whom they ch??se ab-1
solhtely for President and Vice-President?
?There is nothing requiring them' to' vote for any
?*nan who has been nominated, except so far as
they, may consider it binding in honor. The
Constitution intended. that they should have
the first and final choice. Its framers suppose
that the Electors would be among the first men
of the country, and would be better judges of
who would be fit for President and Vice-Presi?
dent than their constituents, the people; hence
they were made an intermediate body. In or?
der to give these Electoral Colleges full au?
thority, the Electors Are obliged to vote by se?
cret ballot
Suppose, for instance, that Ohio should pop?
ularly cast its twenty-two electoral votes for the
candidates who were in the.field, and supposed
to be against Grant and his colleague,.and up*
on. counting the electoral votes there might be
? number for. Grant These votes would stand,
and it would be next to or quite impossible to
find out the persons who had. cast them .against
the will of the people. The United States
Senator in this State is voted for by the mem?
bers of the Legislature viva voice, and if there
is any betrayal of pledges the responsibility
cannot be dodged. But there is no such secu?
rity in 6ur votes for President and Vi.ee-Presi
dent *It "is" to the credit of the country that
thns far in seventy years no elector, under the
shield of the secret ballot, has ever cast a vote
different from that which it was intended by
the people he should give. But it may happen
in the future. Our politics are becomifig more
corrupt, and rif there was a-close .vcterin the
Electoral College bet'ween'ri val candidates there
is no knowing what might happen. The elec
.;. toral or intermediate system ought to be abol?
ished. After the Electoral College has met in
each State op the first Wednesday of) Decem?
ber, and cast'its vote,* it Bends a messenger with
it to Washington.
. Early in February the votes of the States
are'obened at 'a joins session of the two Houses,
thfe President of the Senate presiding. In
case: one candidate has a majority over all the
others, he is declared elected. If not, the Sen?
ate retires to its chamber, and the House pro?
ceeds to vote for the thrice highest candidates
who had been voted for by the Electors. The
vote is not, however, according to .the usual
form,'but' Is given by States. Thus,' New York
?cft?ed with her thirty-one members. They
flag leave :to retire, and do retire. Sixteen of
them direct that the vote of the State?and it
is only one?be recorded for the candidate run?
ning against Grant Delaware is called, which
has but a single member, and he casts one vote,
the same as.has beeu given by the thirty-three
gentlemen of the Empire State. Each State
Has simply one vote, and a majority of the
delegation determines it. A majority of all
the States, which are now thirty-seven in num?
ber, would be nineteen, and that is absolutely
required. If the vote should stand eighteen
foj&KSlGrant eighteen for Judge Davis, and
one State equally divided and casting no vote,
there wou'd t>e .no choice. On the 4th of March ;
the-'session of Congress not only terminates,
but the terms of its members expire. In the
tr?ft or three weeks they have to vote they may
not'haVe chosen any man for President. The
House has been, on one occasion, nine weeks
in choosing a Speaker, audit is reasonable to
assume" that it might be three weeks and not
elect'a President Then, we hear the reader
incmtirei who, on the 4th of March, would be
President? We-will further explain. When
there is no choice for President and no choice
for-Vice-President, the United States Senate
chooses the latter officer. By a wise provision
in'the Constitution, the Senate selects between
the hep highest candidates voted for by the
Electors. As the Senators vote individually, a
choice is almost certain to be made. The
Vice-President being elected, and the 4th of
March'arriving without a Presideut, he assumes
that office for four years, the same as if the
President had died, or as if he himself had been
elected.. In case there is no Vice-President on
the 4th of March, the office devolves upon the"
President pro tern, of the Senate; and in case
of 'fife disability, upon the Speaker of the
Blouse; then upon the Chief Justice of the
Supreme Court, and, finally, upon the oldest,
in length of service, of the Associate Justices.
But in case of a disability of both President
and Vice-President, the person discharging the
duties of President does not hold the full term,
but only till the next annual November elec?
tion, when a new Piesident and Vice-President
will be elected for four years. This Electoral
system ought to be abolished; it affords too
great an opportunity for fraud to reflect the
wishes and intentions of the people. It is too
complicated. The Presidential vote, of the
di fie rent States .could be indicated, aud the
State aiitomony preserved, by voting directly'
for president and Vice-President, and then
checking at Washington a number of votes
equal to our Senatorial and delegate represen?
tation. If this is not done, we shall upon some
fine morning wake up and find ourselves shame?
fully betrayed by the men in whom we have
reposed confidence as Electors. The law ougb .
Alto to be; so changed that Congress could com?
mence to vote early in the session, in December,
for putting it off till the middle of February
renders the risk too great that no choice at all
will be made.
Bot more than all there ought to be some
provisions made for a contested election. Each
House.is the judge of the qualification and
election of its own members in Congress, and
in all ibe States there is a provision by which
a contest for Governor and other State officers
is toTjeiudicially decided. But for President,,
the highest office of the Republic^ with all its
vast responsibilities,. there is a silence in the
Constitution and iif the laws Of Congress that
opena?th? door for the most tremendous -trou?
ble, it hotr anarchy. Congress seems to be su?
preme- in the counting of the votes. It seems
to have the power to reject the vote of any
State at its pleasure.' There iB no revising of
its errors in the Supreme Court, or any other
tribunal, Here an opportunity is given to a
corruSf majority in tho. House to throw out
votes enough to defeat the will of the people
without any remedy, At the last Presidential
election the vote of" Georgia was not counted,
and it was threatened also to throw out New
York upon some vague charge of fraud if its
vote had', been decisive of the contest This
ought not to be permitted. Above all other
officers, there ought to be a method by which a
man, conceiving himself chosen President,
could legally contest the choice of his compe?
titor, and in case of. success be put in posses?
sion of the office. The sooner this is done the
better.?Cincinnati Enquirer.
Mr. Snnincr und tho Cincinnati Convention.
The Washington correspondent of the Chi?
cago Tribune has had a talk with the Massa?
chusetts Senator, and- reports the result of his
interview as follows:
Last Friday night I called upon the Senator
from Massachusetts. He has been suffering
from the old stripes received in the Senate in
the days when slavery was aggressive, and his
back and spine give him such pain at times
that he recjines an his commodious library
busied with some favorite book. I found him
opening his evening mail, entirely alone, and, j
inquiring about his health, was assured that ]
nothing of public Or political movement added
-to his trouble;- -Tor," said he, "I have not had
much repose since I entered the Senate, and
cannot see that mental action, agitation, or op?
position does me harm." People who think
that Mr. Sumner is less of a character than he
used to be because the Executive has dispos?
sessed him of his old committees where he did
such great service, should see his mail from all
parts of the country, and the hearty expres?
sions, of .respect and support which he is re?
ceiving. Mr. Boutwell told me himself, on the
same day on which I made this call, that ifj
there were an election of Senator from Massa?
chusetts to-day/.GhaHes' Sumner would be re?
turned triumphantly just as thrice before.
Mr. Sumner is concerned about the Cincin?
nati Convention; He believes it ought to be a
Republican convention?Republican in the
larger, broader sense of a common country,
legible legislation, and exemplary Executive,
whose mind will permeate and illuminate his
party, and make all feel that we are not sailing
sidewise or poop-foremost, but straight on. He
believes that President Grant is not a Republi?
can President?and, by the way, Mr. Sumner
ought to know what Republicanism is, for he
gave the name to the party, if any one man
did. Even as early as 1854, when John A.
Andrew wrote him a letter, imploring him to
appear at Worcester and address the new con- j
vention there, Mr. Sumner said in the course of j
his speech?and the applause which followed it
accepted the name he gave it?"We meet as
Republicans to declare moral w:.r on the oli?
garchy of slavery'." The Senator gave me the
names of several gentlemen whom he under?
stood were to appear in Cincinnati as volunteer
delegates. I think I violate no confidence in
naming among others President Woolsey, long
at the head of Yale .College, a. gentleman now
in his. seventy-first year, who took the profes?
sorship of Greek there in 1837, and became
prt?dent in 1846. He is the translator and
editor of some of the finest works of Euripides,
Sophocles, iEschylus and Plato. Ex-Senator
Foster, of Connecticut, has also indicated his
hope in that convention; Be is a direct descen?
dant of Miles Standish, a graduate of Brown
University, and a doctor of Jaws, and he was
made a Senator in Congress in 1855, and pre?
sided over the Senate after the death of Mr.
Lincoln. I was also told that Mr. James K.
Moorhead, of Pittsburg, one of the wealthiest
and most respectable men in the Keystone
State, looks to Cincinnati as the real Republi?
can Convention of the crisis, and will give it
his support. Mr. Moorhead was ten years in
Congress. Mr. Samuel Bowles, of Springfield,
an editor whose life is as bold as his journal,
will also go to Cincinnati.
1 Mr. Sumner thinks that the present adminis?
tration has exceeded that of Andrew Jackson
in violence of personal purpose and attack up?
on other departments of the government, and
it is not improbable that, before long, we shall
hear from him, reviewing the personality of the
administra Jon and its debasing influence upon
the public morals and the people. Whatever
position Mr. Sumner may take toward this
convention, I feel assured that he is in sympa?
thy with it, as an old Republican, and yet a
man who, in the wear and tear of public life,
has of late become intoned with a more mellow
charity and sympathy for all people, North and
South. The Southern people who look to the
interests of their children will not be blind to
these'healing opportunities, when the* most
ardent men in the extreme North are at last
impressed with the needs of all, and wish to
see a more perfect union, with justice, tran
quility, harmony, and good understanding re
establfshcd.
The Game Laws.?By recent enactments of ]
the General Assembly of South Carolina, the
old and long-obsolete game laws of the State
are revived and declared a part of the statute
law.' As a matter of interest to those of our
?readers who are foud of the chase, we give a
summary of the provisions of these laws. It is
declared unlawful for any one to kill a doe or
fawn from the first day of January to the last
day of July in anyye?r, or to'kill a buck from
the first of September to the last Friday in
October, or from the first of March to the last
day if April in any year. And the period
when it shall be unlawful to kill a doe is ex?
tended to the first of September. The penalty
for a violation of cither of these provisions is a
fine of ten c ollars, while the same penalty is
attached to fire hunting at any'tune, with an
additional penalty of tweuty-nve dollars for
every deer and fifty dollars for every horse or
head of neat cattle killed while so doing. .-An?
other equally important provision attaches a
fine of ten dollars to any One who shall hunt
on any lands whatsoever at a greater distance
from his or her place of residence than seven
miles, without the consent of the proprietor;
and also declaring every entry upon the en?
closed or unenclosed lands of another, after
notice from the owner or tenant prohibiting it,
a misdemeanor punishable with fine or impris?
onment, or both. In case of a failure, on con
victioUj to pay the fines, one-half of which goes
to the informer, the trial justice before whom
the case is tried is required to commit the con?
victed party to jail for periods not exceeding
two or three months, according to the of?
fence.
? In a certain town there had been a very
exciting election for the office of sheriff. The
successful candidate, of course, was very much
elated, and at night was for a long time talking
it over with his wife as they sat around the fire
before retiring. Meanwhile the youngsters in
the trundle-bed were "all ears;" at length one
tow-head popped up under the inspiration of |
the query: "Ma, are vie all sheriffs, or only you
and pa?" -'Lay down,- you little fool,"
snapped the mother; "only your pa and I."
'? A preacher out west'was lately referring
to instances of special providence of God, and
mentioned the cases of two widows noticed in
the scriptures. "In the one case," said he,
."the widow's husband was dead!" At this
point he saw a smile upon some countenances,
and his lapsus lihgui striking him, he corrected
himself by saying: "In fact, both the husbands
were dead!"
? What is the difference between a spend?
thrift and ? feather bed ? One is hard up and
the other soft down.
A Scathing Denunciation of the Republican
Party.
The special correspondent of the Baltimore
Gazette makes the following report- of a speech
delivered by Hon. Daniel W. Voorhees, of In?
diana:
Washington, March 24,1872.
Very unexpectedly, yesterday, Mr. Voorhees
got the floor in the House, and made one of the
most thorough speeches, arraigning the Repub?
lican party ana the present Administration,
that has yet been made in Congress.
Mr. Voorhees, in opening, referred to the
condition of many of the States in the Union,
which, he says, excites the unmingled pity and
indignation of the civilized world. They are
the theme of sorrowful and of bitter comment
wherever the channels of human intelligence
penetrate. They engage the attention of all
the departments of the Government. Execu?
tive proclamations spread evil tidings about
tbem, and hurl every principle of their liber?
ties, every muniment of their safety to the
ground.
Congress enacts laws against them which ut?
terly destroy every vestige of freedom, and
forge and rivet on their helpless limbs the fet?
ten? of despotism. It also sends forth its pow?
erful missionaries of mischief in the form of
committees, backed by the money and the pow?
er of the Government, whose labors are to
blacken the character and the fame of their
people under the guise of official investigations
and official reports. The bead of the Depart?
ment of Justice, the late Attorney General, he
who led his people, into the war, and then re?
turned to plague and lay waist the hearthstones
of his followers, superintended in person the
inquisition and the torture inflicted upon the
descendants of those who fought in the battles of
the Revolution.
The army of the United States, in a time of
profound peace, has been launched like a bolt of
destruction into their midst. It is engaged in
sensing,- without sworn charge or warrant of
law, the youthj the middle-aged and the.gray
haired grand-sires in the sanctuary of Ameri?
can homes, and driving them like herded beasts
into crowded prisons. And the President him?
self, in his recent message, prepared, as he says,
in haste, as if he had affairs or greater impor?
tance to engage his attention, yet found time
to give his sanction to all this, and to add
his malignant mite to the general accusa?
tion. 7 '
And so Mr. Voorhees proceeded to arraign,
the Republicans, charging that since peace
came, seven years ago, that party has ]>oured
upon the unresisting and helpless South the
floods of disorder, corruption, bankruptcy,
crime, oppression and ruin j that by its conduct
and policies every blessing of free government
has, been scourged from the face of a country
containing over twelve millions of people, and
larger in extent than many of the foremost
powers of Europe; by this party the Constitu?
tion has beeu trampled under foot, dwarfed into
a dead-letter, or widened and extended by frau?
dulent amendments, according as the unscru?
pulous purposes of a powerful party would be
best promoted; from turret to foundation the
Republican party have torn down the govern?
ments of eleven States; have rent all their
local laws and machinery into fragments, and
trampled upon their ruins. Mr. Voorhees de?
scribed the ostracism and political punishments
visited upon the old citizens of the South.?
Every man who, during the conflict between j
the sections, was clothed with the slightest re- j
sponsibility, has been marked by the blight of
ineligibility, and, like the leper of old, it was
made a crime for the people to again reach
forth to him the hand of friendship. Even the
sacred instincts of human nature became dis?
qualifications for office. The ties of kindred
were made criminal, and he who gave a cup of
cold water and a crust of bread to. the thirsty
and famished son, underarms for a cause which
he believed to be right, and for which he was
willing to die, was branded with dishonor and
driven out from the councils of his countrymen.
The loving mother who sheltered her weary
and wounded boy, laid him in his own familiar
bed at home once more, kissed his feverish lips,
wiped away the gathering dews of death, anu
with a broken heart closed his dear eyes forev?
er, was condemned for these acts of angelic
ministering, and incurred the penalties of con- j
flscation. lie who dismounted and gave his
horse to a brother in the moment of danger and
close pursuit; the sister who wrought and sent
clothing to him on the toilsome march; the
maiden who prayed for her lover as. he lay dy?
ing in the Wilderness or at Stone River, all fell
under a common curse. Even the white
haired grandmother of four-score years, whose
youthful husband, perhaps, was at the Cow
pens, Eutaw Springs and Yorktown, or, may
be, fought under Jackson at New Orleans, in
the war of 1812, wa3 deprived of her pension,
that small morsel of bounty from an ungener?
ous Government, if her heart yearned or her
aged hand was extended in sympathy to her
children and her children's children on the
plains of the South. A more sweeping and
universal exclusion from all the benefits, rights,
trusts, honors, enjoyments, liberties and control
of a government was never enacted against a
whole people, without respect to age or sex, in
the annals of the human race. The disgrace?
ful disabilities imposed upon the Jews for near?
ly eighteen hundred years by the blind and
bigoted nations of the earth were never more
complete or appalling.
The peroration of Mr. Voorhees was excel?
lent, and to be thoroughly appreciated must
be read in full.
The Cincinnati Republican Convention. 1
? The New York Tribune, commenting upou
the scope, character and aims of the Liberal
Republican Convention to be held in Cincin?
nati in May next says:
"The Convention to be held at Cincinnati on
the first day of May is to be a Republican Con?
vention. Neither the Grant nor the Demo?
cratic party can participate in its deliberations.
The nominees will be Republican, and it will
then be in the province of the people to deter?
mine whether or not to elect them. No man's
vote, who may choose to give it, will or can be
rejected. The inquiry as to what may have
been his views in the past will not bo made.
Although all Republicans favorable to the
movement are invited to attend, it is expected,
of course, that the representatives of the differ?
ent States will meet separately, and determine
for whom the vote of their respective States
shall be given, as is the case in all National
Conventions. This will put it out of the power
of those who might contemplate mischief if it
were timply a mass meeting."
A Washingtou dispatch says: "Those who
are best informed with regard to the Cincinnati
Convention, say that it is the intention of the
managers to exclude all who have not been
identified with the Republican party from its
deliberations, thereby making it strictly a Re
Sublican meeting. Judge Davis expresses a
csire that the Cincinnati platform shall be
silent on the subject of free trade or protection,
so that it may be acceptable to the friends of
either principle."
? To talk heavy science, say "protoxyd of
hydrogen," instead of "ice." It sounds larger,
and but few will know what you mean.
From the Southern Farm and Home.
Household Economy.
t "Gather up the fragments that remain, that
nothing be lost." These words were spoken by
the Great Master, at whose wish bread and
meat were furnished to the hungry multitudes,
without money and without price. They con?
tain the sum and substance of all household
economy. The correct mode of management,
to avoid waste in every department, is the de?
sideratum so much to be desired in household
affairs. The dream of life is to make home a
regained Eden, to wreathe it with joy and glad?
ness, and to spread around it the radiance of
peace and happiuess. Yet how often, from
mismanagement, does the reality become but a
torturing and tormenting nightmare.
A few plain rules, drawn from long expe?
rience, without entering much into detail, will
form the subject of this paper. The first rule
we shall give is this:
Take good care of all we have; see that
nothing is lost from want of proper care and
attention.
How often are our garments moth-eaten, and
our provisions moldy, for want of a few hours'
sunshine. How many of our garden supplies
are yearly wasted from not being gathered and
dried at the proper time. Often we are forced
to sup thin, watery broth for soup, in winter,
when okra, tomatoes, beans, etc, are withered
and dried on their luxuriant summer stems.
A Northern lady once said that a Southern
family threw away more, in the course of a
year, than a Yankee one would subsist upon
for that length of time. If we would examine
into this matter, we would see the correctness
of the assertion. Why are we forced, year by
year, to buy Northern garden seeds ? We live
in a far more fertile latitude, we are blessed
with longer seasons and a more genial climate,
yet we must have northern supplies, when our
own vegetables are falling to the ground, from
whence they sprung, unnoticed and uncared
for. Carrying this same survey into our fields
and farms, how much greater and more serious
becomes the waste. Tons of hay suffered to
bleach .and wither away, our cattle perishing
for want of winter supplies, and we grumbling
over tough and unpalatable steaks. Shame
upon us! How we neglect our Master's com?
mand, "Gather up the fragments, that nothing
be lost."
Our second rule is: Buy only what we need,
and at the time we need it.
We live in a world where "moth and rust
doth corrupt, and where thieves break through
and steal." How often do we realize our short?
sightedness in this matter, when our supplies
become musty from standing, and our hoarded
goods grow small by degrees, and, if not beau?
tifully, at least wonderfully less. No specific
rule con be given on this matter, as convenience
to market, and other things, will differently af?
fect different households.
Our third rule is: Buy always the best arti?
cles that we can afford. It is the poorest econ?
omy to buy cheap and indifferent goods, either
for food or clothing. The physician's bill, and
the repeated demand for new supplies, will
make the chaap bargains by far the most costly
in the end.
Our fourth rulels: A place for everything,
and everything in its place.
What a beautiful lesson we may learn here
from the Master. The disciples, on coming to
His tomb, found the grave clothes folded and
laid away, and the napkin that was about His
head, not lying with the linen clothes, but
wrapped together in a place by itself. How
touching is the lesson of order euforced by
this high example; how important that we en?
deavor to profit by it. Who can calculate the
amount of time and labor lost by misplaced
articles? Suppose a mathematical calculation
was made of the number of hours lost to a
housekeeper by mislaid keys, the reckoning
would be incredible. We have often known
half of the day consumed in looking for tools,
utensils, clothing, etc. When our first parents
lost their' pure and sinless state, this blight
seemed to have fallen upon all earthly posses?
sions, and now half of every careless lifetime
is consumed in looking for what is lost or mis?
laid. The only way to avoid this dreadful
waste of time and labor, is to have a place for
everything, and be sure to keep everything in
its place.
Our fifty and last rule is: A time for every?
thing, and everything in its time. The saying
of the wisest of men, that there was a time for
everything, is particularly true in household
affairs, and if things are not done at the proper
time all the management in the world will
never set them right again. A systematical
division of the labor of the household is abso?
lutely important. The continual clashing of
employments is the surest way to produce dis?
order and confusion. Regular hours for meals
should be closely observed. How much grum?
bling and complaining will this annually save!
A word here to the female heads of families.
Never put your cook to other work, to the neg?
lect of breakfast dinner and supper. If you
do, take my word for it, you will have a frown?
ing husband and a complaining household.
Let it be our constant endeavor to keep all
around us in good humor, and happy faces and
pleasant smiles will be our daily reward. Al?
though our homes may never again be the
abodes of luxury and case that once they were,
yet it is still in our power, by correct manage?
ment and economy, to make them delightful
and happy homesteads, where, from the morn?
ing and evening altars, will arise a sacrifice to
God, acceptable and well pleasing in His sight.
L. RUTHERFORD.
The Atlanta and Richmond Air Line
Raii.PwOad.?The Board of Directors of this
Company held a meeting in Richmond, Va.,
last week, of three days duration, at which
much important business was transacted.
Messrs. Harrison and Reed, members of the
Board from Anderson, S. C, were not present,
but sent in their resignations, which were ac?
cepted.
The building of the Road was represented as
rirogressing as rapidly as possible. Much de
ay has been caused by the bad weather of the
Winter months. The balance of the iron to
complete the whole track from Charlotte to
Atlanta has been purchased, and 16,000 tons
will be landed in Wilmington, N. C, in July.
It is thought the Road will be finished in
twelve months.
The length of this Road, from Charlotte to
Atlanta, is 262 miles, and will cost about
&,000,000.
The Annual Meeting of the Stockholders
will be held at Spartauburg, S. G, on the first
Wednesday in June.
The President and officers of the Company
have labored hard to make the enterprise a
success, and indeed they have accomplished
wonders, starting as they did without money
but a great deal of faith. Col. Buford is one
of the best railroad men in this country. It
may be truly said that he has worked himself
almost to death?having been confined to bed
bv general debility for some time past. He is
now up and hard at work again.?Charlotte
Democrat.
? Is "borrowed trouble" similar in its nature
to sigh-lent grief?
How to Carre a "Corker. .
If your wife or cook insists that the turkey
shall be placed upon the table whole, you
must sharpen your knife, procure two or three 1
extra handkerchiefs to re more the perspiration
that will accumulate on your brow, place your
trust in Providence or Newport, and buckle in.
No matter if you have a razor edge on your
carver, always toueh it up on the steel before
commencing, and while so doing get off some
joke to the lady nearest your right hand; this
will make the guests think you are an old tur?
key-slasher, and are perfectly at home in such
work. Make a graceful stab with the fork
(which should be in the left hand, unless you
are right-handed,) and pin the fowl to the
plate; at the same time give a muffled war
whoop to call attention to yourself, while with
your right hand you cut off the outer joints of
the wing. After cutting off the wings look
and see if the head and feet are off; if not,
. they should be amputated at once. To show
your dexterity, change hands aud balance
yourself on your stomach across the back of
your chair, while you shave ths white meat
from the breast.
If .you wish to make a sure thing of the
fowl, it would be well to have a handsaw,
hatchet, draw knife and cleaver lying near your
chair, where you can use them to chop away
the tougher portions of the bird. If you can?
not obtain a sufficient purchase on the fowl
with your fork to keep it steady, you can put
one foot on the same while you can cut the
drumstick, the second joint, and haggle off
sufficient dark meat to go around.
After you have pretty well cleaned out one
side of the fowl, change ends by dexterously
throwing it in the air with the fork and catch?
ing it as it falls. This will make a sensation
among your guests, especially those who, not
knowing your skill, failed to provide them?
selves with oil cloth suits. It also allays their
hunger, for a few moments and giyes you a
chance to recover your wind.
Take off the other wing and leg in the same
manner as you did the first, only swinging your
knife and fork more carelessly, as you gain
confidence in yourself. After taking off the
dressing and standing it on the floor, where you
can reach it without trouble, employ yourself
in picking out all the little-"tit-bits" and ex?
tra pieces of white meat that everybody likes,
and concealing tbem ou the lee side of a soup
tureen, where you can eat them yourself after
you get through carving. When the fowl has
been decimated sufficiently, begin attending to
the guests, always giving the toughest portion to
those with poor teeth, or none at all. Ask ev?
erybody which they prefer, dark or white meat,
and give them the opposite color from that
(ailed for. A littleHtudy of these simple rules
will render any man capable of carving any?
thing.
An Embarrassing Situation.?An ex?
change informs us that the old philopena trick
has been revived again in Alabama, where "the
young lady takes a double almond in her teeth
and the young man bites it off " That sort of
thing used to be popular in Doylestown, Pa.,
but it is hardly ever tried any more since the
painful accident which occurred at a philopena
party last Winter. The lady who held the al?
mond between her teeth was somewhat ad?
vanced in years and not a little dilapidated.
The almond was uncommonly tough, and the
man who nibbled was in deadly earnest. He
closed his teeth on it and pulled. It would not
give. He pulled harder, but made no impres?
sion. He clinched bis jaws upon it and gave a
desperate wrench. It is unpleasant to relate
what followed; but, as truth crushed to earth
will certainly rise again aoy how, whether we
try to keep her down or not, we may be par
doued for saying that as consequence of the
violent efforts of the young roan, he found him?
self standing up in that room holding in his
mouth a nut in which were fixed a double set
of porcelain teeth- belonging to the aforesaid
maiden. It was embarrassing in a certain
sense for all parties; the young man thought
it would be soothing to the feelings of the
company if he went home. Other and less
perilous games are in vogue at Doylestown this
year.?Max Adder.
Sloshin* About.?During a certain "court
time," in Pike county, Alabama, there was a
trial for a general row, and a witness testified
that one Slar, tons tall, "jest kept sloshin' about."
As this remark about the chivalrous Slanton
stall was frequently repeated, said the lawyer
for the defense: "Come, witness, say over
again what it was that Mr. Slantonstall had to
do with the affair." "Slantonstall ? Why,
I've told you several times; the rest of 'em
clinched and paired off, but Slantonstall, he
jest kept sloshin* about." "Ah, my good fel?
low," exclaimed Nat, quite testily, "we want
to know what that is. It isn't exactly legal
evidence in the shape you put it. Tell us what
you mean by sloshing about." "Well," au
Bwered the witness, very deliberately, "you see
John Brewer and Sykes, they clinched and
fout That's in a legal form, ain't it?" "Oh,
yes," said Nat, "go on." "Abney and Black
man then pitched into one another, and Black
man bit off a piece of Abney's lip?that's legal,
too, ain't it? Simpson and Bill Stokes and
Murray was altogether on the ground, a bitin'
and kickin' one another?that's legal, too, ain't
it?" "Yes, but what about Slantonstall?"
"And Slantonstall made it his business to walk
backward and forward through the crowd with
a big stick in his hand, and knocked down
every loose man in the crowd as fast as he
come to 'em. That's what I call sloshin' about."
A Court Held by Mistake.?The Cir?
cuit Court for York County commenced its sit?
tings last Tuesday, Judge Thomas presiding.
The gmnd jury reported only two true bills,
one against John Shaw and Robert McCorkle,
charged with assault and battery with intent to
kill; and the other against Lawrence Withers
and Andrew Bridges, charged with larceny.
The grand jury was discharged on Tuesday
evening. The only case taken up was that of
the State against Thomas Spencer and W. P.
Roddy, charged with the felonious taking and
carrying away nine bales of cotton, the prop?
erty of W. B. Daniels, in Januarv, 1871. The
bill of indictment laid the offence in two
counts, one for grand larceny the other for
breach of trust. S. P. Hamilton, Esq., appear?
ed for the prosecution, Colonel W. B. Wilson
for the defence. The jury rendered a verdict
of not guilty, and the prisoners were discharg?
ed from custody. After, the trial of this case,
the court adjourned until the first Monday in
July next This sudden and most unexpected
termination of the session was occasioned by
the discovery of a very recent act of Assembly,
changing the time for holding court Here?
after the Circuit Court of York County will be
held on the first Monday in March, July and
November. The term just ended was illegal,
and its proceedings are null and void.
? A good sort of man was recently asked to
subscribe for a chandelier for the church.?
"Now," said he, "what's the use of a chande
| lier? When you get it you can't get any one
to play on it."
All Sorts of Paragraphs.
? A Wisconsin man has some trees which
produce apples without seeds or core.
? I caught her gently by the arm, my gentle,
blue eyed Kate. She cried, "Let go, you fool,
you hurt my vaccinate."
? Milch cows should always be supplied
with an abundance of pure water. They
should never be allowed to drink foul wa?
ter.
? The girls in old times didn't behave any
better than they do now-a-days. Even the Old
Testament tells how Euth followed the Boas
around.
, ?"Two intimate friends in this.city," says
a Baltimore paper, "had an animated dialogue
with red-hot pokers, and one of them has since
had only one eye on things in general."
? As a lawyer and a doctor were walking
arm in arm, a wag said to a friend: "Those
two are equal to one highwayman." "Why T"
"Because they are a lawyer and a doctor?your
money or your life."
? Thompson is not going to do anything
more in conundrums. He recently asked his
wife the difference between his head and a
hogshead, and she said there was none. He
Bays that is not the right answer.
? "Hunting the tiger, gentlemen," observed
an English officer, relating his East India ex?
perience to a friendly circle at a London club,
is capital sport?nothing better?except whea
the tiger takes it into his head to hunt you;
then it is apt to become too exciting."
? The greatest run of luck on record is that
of a Baltimore cigar dealer, who within the
last three months has inherited a fortune,
drawn a big lottery prize, found $7,000 in the
cellar fit his house, and lost his mother-in
law.
? There is at present so much said in regard
to the definitions of words given by Dr. Web?
ster in his dictionary, that it may be apropos
to call attention to his masterly explanation of
the word "boil" in earlier editions, according
to which the word signified "a circumscribed
subcutaneous inflammation, characterized by a
pointed pustular tumor, -and suppurating with,
a central core?a peruncutis."
? A woman was arrested the other day for
whipping her husband in the streets. And
served her right, too. When a woman wants
to whip her husband, she should take'him by
the ear, lead him up at least two pair of stairs,,
thrust him into a chamber, ana then wollop'
him in a pleasant and civilized manner, ana
not make a public exhibition of the affair.
? A San Francisco tobacconist who is evi?
dently up to snuff, advertises as follows: "Fully
realizing the benefits which a free and enligh?
tened press bestows upon the masses, and hav?
ing always regarded the newspaper as the poor
man's college and instructor, I feel sure that I
could in no way subserve the interest of my
fellow citizens in a more substantial manner
than by the dissemination among them of the
leading journals of the day. I have, therefore,
with this idea in view, made arrangements for
a liberal supply of morning and evening pa?
pers, and in future will keep them on my coun?
ter for free distribution to all who shall pur?
chase cigars or tobacco to the amount of ten
cents."
Ku Klux Trials in Spabtanbubg.?At
the Court of Sessions for Snartanburg county,
John W. Vandever, Z. W. Vandever and Jaa,
H. Vaudever, a father and two sons, were con*
victed of conspiring and combining against
the rights of General Bates, a citizen of that
county, and were sentenced by Judge Moses,
the two former to two years imprisonment, ana
the last, on account of his youth, to six
months, in the common jail of the county. It
is worthy of note that the indictment was un?
der the late act of the Legislature, (1870,) and
that it was prosecuted by the Solicitor of the
Circuit, Homer L. McGowan, Esq., to convic?
tion by a jury composed of eleven white men,
before a native Judge of South Carolina, in
the very heart of what the Radicals are pleased
to designate as the "Ku Klux" district
The Spartan says: The case was ably argued
on both sides and clearly and forcibly present?
ed by the Judge to the jury. After considering
the case for about half an hour, a verdict of
guilty was rendered. The juiy consisted of
eleven white and one colored. The eleven
white men, we believe, were all Democrats,
and at least two of them had been previously
charged and arrested as members of the Ku
Klux Klan. This verdict not only gives the
lie to the oft repeated slanders of the radical
press, that no Ku Klux could be convicted in
our State Courts, and that the members' of the
Kian were bound by an oath to perjure them?
selves in case they were selected as jurymen to
try any of their brethren. We have never
doubted that an intelligent jury of our citizens
would convict any member of the Ku Klux
upon proper evidence of guilt, as readily as
they would write a verdict of guilty for any
other offence. It was necessary, however, for
party purposes, to make a great parade of par?
ties charged before the Unitea States Court
where the machinery was all in the hands of
Grant's appointees, and where the guilty and
the'innocent would alike be victimized to Rad?
ical prejudice and hate. The vile slanders of
the Radical press were to be made good, that
leading and influential Democrats were leaders
of these Klans, and it was necessary to haveaa
unscrupulous Judge and a packed jury to con*
vict them.
Ratheb Slendeb.?A Detroit man, who
had contributed a bundle of his cast-off cloth?
ing for the relief of the victims of the Minne?
sota fire, received from one of the sufferers the
following note :
"The committy man giv me amonst Other
things wat he called a pare ov pants, and
'twood make me pant sum to ware 'em. I
found your name an' where you live on one ov
the pokits. My wife laffecl so when I shode
'em to her that I thot she would have a conip
shun fit. She wants to kno if there lives
and brecthes a man who has legs no bigger
than that. She scd if there was he orter bo
taken up fur vagrinsy fur havin' no visible
means of support I couldn't get 'em on my
oldest boy, so I used 'em for gun cases. If you
hav another pare to spare my wife wood like
to get 'em to hang up by the side uv the fire
plasc to keep the tongs in."
Interesting to Millers.?A new mill or
machine for manufacturing flour from grain
without mill-stones has lately been put into
operation in Edinburgh, Scotland, and is con?
sidered by competent authorities as one of the
most important inventions of the present day.
This mill reduces the grain to flour by percus?
sion, while it is unsupported, and falling freely
or being projected through the air. The wheat,
in passing through the machine, is struck by a
scries of bars moving at an immense speed in
opposite directions. It is thus instantaneously
reduced to a state ready for bolting, no injuri?
ous heat being caused, and the flour produced
is of much superior quality to that obtained by
ordinary grinding, while the cost of its produc?
tion is considerably less. The machine in op?
eration in Edinburgh realizes, it is said, a] IT the
advantages claimed for it?Rural Carolinian.