Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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"What I Kno about Pharniin." What I kno aboutpharmin iz kussed little. Mi buzzum friend, Horace Greeley, haz rit a book with the abuv name, and altho i haven't had time to peroose it, yet i don't hesitate to pronounce it bully. Pharniin (now daze) is pretty much all theo? ry, and, therefore, its astonishing that a man kan live in New York and be a good chancery lawyer, and also kno all about pharmin. A pharm (now daze) of one hundred akers will produce more buckwheat and pumpkins, run on theory, than it would six years ago, run on manure and hard knoks. There is nothing like book larning, and the time will eventually come when a man wont hav too hav only one of "Josh Billings' Farm? ers' Adman ax," to run a pharm, or a kamp meeting with. Even now it ain't unkommon tew se three or four hired men, on a pharm, with three or four j spans of oxen, all standing still, while the boss goes into the library, and reads himself for the clay's plowiog. If I was running a pharm (now daze) I sup pose '1 would rather nav 80 bushels o v some sew breed ov potatoes razed on theory, then tew hav 84 bushels got in the mean, beknighfe? ed and underhand way or our late lamented grand parents. Pharmin, after all, is a good deal like the tavern bizziness, onny body thinks they kan keep a hotel (now daze,) and enny body thinks they kan pharm it (now daze) and they kan, but this is the way that poor hotels cum tew be so plenty, and this is likewise what makes pharmin such easy and profitable bizziness. Just take the theory out of pharmin, and there ain't nothin loft, but hard work, and fired little krops. When T see so mutch pholks rushing into theory pharmin, as there is (now daze,) and so menny ov them rushing out agin, i think ov that remarkable piece ov Skriptur, which re? marks, "menny are called, but few are cho? sen." I onst took a pharm on shares miself, and run her on some theories, and the thing figured up this way, i dun all the work, phurnished all the seed and manure, had the ague 9 mouths out ov 12, for mi share ov the profits, and the other phellow paid the taxes on the pharm for his share. By mutual konsent i quit the pharm at the end ov the year. What I know about pharmin ain't wurth bragging about, and i feel it my duty to state, for the benefit ov my kreditors, that if they ev? er expekt me to pay five cents on a dollar, they musn't start me in the theerotikai pharmin em If a man really is anxious tew make munny on a pharm, the less theory he lays in the bet? ter, and he must do pretty much all the work hisself, and support his family on what he kan sell, and go ragged enuff all the time tew hunt tees. I kno of menny farmers who arc so afflicted with superstition that they wont plant a single bean only in the last quarter uv the moon, and I kno others so pregnant with science that they wont sot a gate post until they have had the ground analized bi sum professor of anatomy tew see if the earth haz got the right kind of ingredience for post holes. This iz what l call running science into the ground. The fact ov it iz that theories of all kinds work well except in praktiss; they are too of? ten designed to do the work of praktiss. They ain't no theory in breaking a mule on? ly to go at him with a club in your hand and sum blood in your eye, and break him, just as you would split a log. What i kno about pharmin ain't wuth much enny how, but i undertook to brake a kicking heifer once. I read a treatiss on the snbjekt and phollowed the direckshuns cluss, and I got knokt end waze in about 5 minuts. I then set down and thought the thing over. I made up my mind that the phellow who wrote the treatiss was more in the treatiss biz? ziness than he was in the kicking heifer trade. I cum to the konklnshun that what he knu about milking kicking heifers ho had learnt bi leanin over a barnyard fence, and writing the thing up. I got up from my reflekshuns strengthened, and went for that heifer. I will draw a veil over the language I used, and the things I did, but I went in to win, and won I That heifer never bekam a cow. This is one way to break a kicking heifer, af? ter a man has studyed all the books in the kreashuu "on the subject, and tried them on, he Will run back onto mi plan, and make up his mind, as i did, that a kicking heifer is worth more for beef than she is for theoretic milk. I have worked on a pharm just long enuff tu kno that there is no prayers so good for poor land as manure, and no theory kan beat 12 hours each da (sundaze excepted) of honest La bur applied to the die. I am an old-phashioned phellow, and hartly bate most nu things, because I hav been beat by them so offen. . . I never knu a pharm that was worked pretty much by theory but what waz for sail or tew let in a few years, and I never knu a pharm that was worked bi manure and muakle, on the good old ignorant way of our ancestors, but what was handed down from father to son, and always was noted for raising brawny-armed boys and buxom lasses, and fust rate pota? toes. What I kno about pharmin is nothing but experience, and experience now daze ain't wuth a kuss. I had rather hav a good lookin theory tew ketch flates with, than the experience even of Methusler. Experience is a good thing to lay down and die with, but yu kunt do no bizziness with it j (now daze;) it ain't hot enuff. Give me a red hot humbug, and I kan make most ov the experience in this worle ashamed of itself. i Husband's Mistakes.?We make a great mistako in our treatment of our wives; as lov? ers wo arc worshipped, as husbands we arc too often bearish to them. We run into extremes each way. But why, after paying a woman the highest compliment we can, we are, when she has accepted it to consider her exempt from the attentions due to her sex, we could never un? derstand. Is it that "familiarity breeds con? tempt?" In that case, she also should lose her former exalted opinion of us. Politeness, by its silken fetters, restrains many an evil feel? ing ; it is a bad plan to throw them off entirely. We need not be as ceremonious as if with ut? ter strangers, but we had better keep up our good manners; it pleases the wife and does us no harm. Last yea r we would not have sworn at her "strumming on the piano," nor told her she did not know what she was talking about?why should we do it notv ? At least, let us "school ourselves before fo:ks;" there is no occasion to mortify her foolishly, women will better bear downright ill usage than this kind of lowering treatment. Let a man respect his wife, treat her like a lady, and she will most commonly act up to his standard. The woman who is con? stantly put down, becomes incapable of acting for herself on an emergency; she has no confi? dence in her own judgment; she distracts you by her irresolutions, or occasionally obstinately adheres to some ill advised line of conduct, be? cause your continual opinionative contradic? tions have ceased to have any weight with her. Once she learns to say, "Oh, when I propose anything, Mr.-will go to the contrary way," there is an end to your domestic comfort. ? It is reported that a party of gentlemen were expelled from a church on Long Island a few Sundays ago just for playing a quiet hand of euchre in their pew. Early History of, and Observations on the Hog. As far back as the records of history enable us to go, the hog appears to have been known, and his flesh made use of for food. The various allusions to this kind of meat, in the writings of old Greek authors, plainly show the esteem in which it was held among that nation; and the Romans actually made the art of breeding, raising and fattening pigs a study. Every art was put in practice to impart a finer and more delicate flavor. Pliny informs us that they fed swine on dried figs, and drenched them with honeyed wine. They also had a dish they called Porcus Trojanus, which consisted of a whole hog, with the entrails drawn out, and the inside stuffed with thrushes, larks, oysters, nightingales and delicacies of every kind, and the whole bathed in wine and rich gravies. In fact, the hog was held in very high esteem among the early nations of Europe, and some of the ancients have even paid it divine honors. The Jews, the Egyptians and the followers of Mohammed alone appear to have abstained from the use of its flesh. But passing by the further history of swine in Europe, we know that from the earliest times in our land the hog has been regarded as a very important animal; and its flesh has been, and still is, the staple article of consumption in every household.? Among the poorer classes, how often is the pig their chief source of profit. The small cost at which the animals can be reared and fattened, and their fecundity and wonderful powers of thrift, under the most disadvantageous circum? stances, render them an actual blessing to the poor, and they may justly be termod " the poor man's friend." Now, of all the domestic animals kept by man; the hog, agriculturally, is the only one bred and raised for food alone. Hence, the sole and legitimate aim of the breeder of swine is to obtain a breed of hogs that will produce the largest amount of pork and lard, from a given quantity of food, in the shortest possible time. All animals require a certain amount of nutritive matter, merely to sustain life. This matter may be derived from the food supplied daily, or from fat previously stored up in the body. And the amount required to sustain life varies according to the breed, disposition and the circumstances under which the animal is placed. The animal of restless, rovine dis? position, and those exposed to the cold and storm, require more than those of a quiet dis? position, and better provided with warm and good shelter. Eutin all cases a certain amount of nutritive matter is necessary for its support, and directly or indirectlv, this is derived from the blood. Hence, it follows, that the breed or animal that the farmer wishes to raise is the one that has the best appetite, together with the greatest power of assimilation ; or, in other words, the hog that can eat, digest and assimi? late, daily, the most food, over and above the amount required to imstain life. Or to put it still in another form, the hog that will make the most pork from a given quantity of corn, is the hog sought after by all breeders. Hogs readily adapt themselves to circumstances, and when they are liberally fed and provided with warm, comfortable shelter, and are kindly treated, they grow gentle and quiet in disposi? tion, have smoother coating, shorter legs, long? er bodies, smaller heads and ears, grow rapidly, mature early and are a source of profit and Eride to their owners. On the other hand, if alf starved, ill-treated and neglected, they roam about, grow long-legged, short-bodied, long-nosed, heavy-eared, thin, gaunt, pinched, unsightly, ill-shaped, savage and unprofitable. Of course these changes are not suddenly brought about, but are, nevertheless, certain, if either course is persisted in. History and ex Eerience teach that it takes years of careful reeding, and patient, close attention to bring the hog up to a good and profitable standard. But that a few years of neglect, and ill-treat? ment and starvation will ruin the most perfect breed. One of the most desirable qualities in a good pig or hog, is a good vigorous appetite; as a hog that will not eat is worse than a mill that cannot grind. Another very desirable quality is a quiet disposition. The blood is derived from the food, and the flesh is derived from the blood. Animal force is derived from the trans? formation of flesh. The more of this that is used in unnecessary motions, the greater the demand on the stomach, and the more food will be required to sustain the vital functions. This quality of quietness, combined with a small amount of useless parts, or oflal has been the aim of all modern broeders. Its importance will readily be perceived, if we assume that 75 per cent, of the food is ordinarily consumed to support life, and that the slight additional de? mand of only one-sixth more food is required for the extra offal parts and unnecessary activ? ity, such an animal will gain in flesh and fat, in proportion to the food consumed, only half, as fast as the quiet, refined animal. A little calculation will show this to be true in theory, as it undoubtedly is in practice. Thus: Take two pigs?No. 1 eats 100 pounds of corn, 75 pounds of which are required to Bustain life, and gains, say 20 pounds. No. 2, a coarse, restless fellow, eats 100 pounds of corn, 87$ pounds of which are necessary to sustain life. No. 1 has 25 pounds of food over and above the amount required to bus tain life, and gains 20 pounds. No. 2has only 12} pounds, and con? sequently cannot produce more than ten pounds of pork or flesh. The two great aims of the breeder should be to leisen the demand on the stomach for offal and unnecessary activity on the one hand, and increase the power of the stomach, and other digestive and assimilating organs. For the purpose of fooaing, a good stock may be created by obtaining from some reliable breeder, a thoroughbred ooar pig, and crossing him upon common stock; theu, for the next ear, procure another thoroughbred pig, and reed him to the largest, earliest and likeliest sow pigs of the half-brood, and so on, gotting a thoroughbred each year. Shaking the Table-Cloth.?"Mercy on us 1 Carrie, where did all these pieces of bread and cheese, of cake and sandwiches, dried beaf and pie, come from ? Enough to make some hungry child a meal." Carrie looked out of the window. It was her father who had spoken. He was standing on the icy pavement before the door, regarding her curiously. "Oh 1" said she, it is where I shook out the table cloth." "'Where you shook out the table-cloth, my daughter 1" Carrio's mother was a very careful woman ; but she had been sick a day or two; and tho work had been done by Carrie. Her father was all ready for a walk, his over? coat buttoned to the chin, his fur cap drawn down over his cars, and an umbrella in his hand; but he turned and came back into the house, and sat down. Carrie knew that a lec? ture was coming. Now, like most little girls, and some large ones, she was not fond of lec? tures ; but in the case present it could not bo helped, and she knew she deserved it; so she submitted with the best possible grace. "My daughter, if you want to grow up to be a careful, prudent and saving woman, and do honor to your mother's training, you miiRt be careful how to shake your table-cloth. Many a man, despite his hard toil and labor, had been kept a poor man for lifo just because his wife did not know how to shake her table? cloth." ? As a farmer living in Madison county, Illinois, was threshing his wheat, the friction set his machine on fire and entirely destroyed tho thresher and the Btacks of wheat. The fire also swept over the entire field, consnming everything that came in ics way. It was with difficulty that eveu the horses were saved. ? At one of the Pittsfield, Massachusetts, churches last Sunday, so many of the audience got sleepy, that the minister stopped in the midst ol bis sermon nnd had a hymn sung, and then finished his discourse to more attentivo hearers. Curious Crops In Germany. A Nuremburg letter to the Chicago Tribune saya: One of the most common crops raised in Germany is that, of trees, so that one sees pine forests planted in great numbers. These are laid off in rows as straight as those of a corn? field. There is scarcely any wood at all in Germany but what is thus cultivated. The land is, in many places, so poor that it cannot be tilled every year; so that by taking a num? ber of years to raise a crop of trees the occu? pants effect the double purpose of supplying themselves with wood and of getting, at the end of that time, fallow ground again. One can see the pine tree fields of all ages; some with little trees of one or two years' growth, and others with largo ones ready for the axe. When they gather in a forest they grub up every stump as low as there are any roots fit to burn. Another curious crop in Germany is that of fish. In Northern Bavaria, especially, the fish ponds are very numerous. Tho whole country is spotted with them, and has the appearance of being filled with lakes. Tho sight is quite unique, and often beautiful. Wherever there ia a marshy place, or the lands need to be drained, they catch the water in a fish pond. Those in America who are cursed with sloughs might take a lesson from the Germans in this. Many farmers realize as much from their water crop as from their land crop. At the foot of hills often, and where the waters come down from a mountain, they build these ponds. Not unfrequently they dam up large streams or turn off sufficient of the water lor their pur? pose. Sometimes along a whole brook one may see dozens of fish ponds following close one after another. They have, accordingly, in Northern Bavaria always a good supply of fish, notwithstanding they are far from the Bea, and no large rivers flow through their country. Another crop that is extensively cultivated in these regions is hops. This being the great beer country, hops are, of course, in extensive demand. The whole country in the neighbor? hood of Bamberg and Hersbruck produces scarcely else. As far as the eye can reach the hills and valleys may be seen covered with hop poles, which are now stacked in pyramids, the time having not yet arrived for planting them. The shooting of the young hop-vines has just begun ; and, as one rides along in the cars he can see for miles on both sides of the road, field after field of hops rising to his view. In some localities one can see nothing else, every hill and hollow being planted with them. I presume that nine-tenths of the country people in some of these districts are engaged, exclu? sively in hop raising. The grains also that arc cultivated here, as also throughout all Ger? many, have a close relation to beer-making, barley being the chief ono of them. Barley here takes the place that wheat or corn does ih America, and when a farmer brings his crops to market it is not to the warehouses, but to the breweries. A Female Odd Fellow.?An old man sixty-five years of age, named ?toole, who was the janitor of Odd Fellow's Hall in Indianapo? lis, and had charge of the private books and works, as well as keys, for some time past, has been under the domination of a Mrs. Phill bean, who acquired a fearful influence over him, and prevailed upon him to let her witness the initiation ceremonies in Odd Fellowship, while she was concealed from view. There is a room adjoining the main hall of the Odd Fellow's building, designed for the reception of an organ. Entrance to this room can be obtained only from the outside, and there Mrs. P was admitted by the janitor on several differ? ent nights. Thence she witnessed three if not five initiations. She was supplied with the private books and work of the Order, and the keys to the rooms. These articles were taken to Indianapolis a day or two ago by the Chief of Police It is said that the janitor instruct? ed the woman in three degrees of Masonry. She makes herjboast that she is an Odd Fellow and Free Mason, and has given evidence that she knows about Odd Fellowship. For some time past the janitor has paid twelve dollars a month rent for the woman's house. She want? ed more money, and demanded one thousand dollars a year. This he refused to pay. She asked for fivo hundred and a mortgage on one of janitor's houses. This was also refused. Then she told what she had seen and leaimed. On Friday night the janitor*was tried before a committee of Odd Fellows and expelled from the Order. It is said that he is keeping dose to his house.?Baltimore American. Eve and the Fig Leaves.?-An amusing story is told of a daughter ?f a distinguijhea Southern General, who was spending the sum? mer during the war at Silver Springs, Florida. Ab is well Jcnown, the ladies were compelled to? resort to all sorts of expedients in order to make their gowns presentable, and many of them became very expert in the use of dyei, so that, Bhut out from the rest of tho world as Ihey were, their attire was almost invariably neat and lady-like. It appears that the young lady in qnes ;ion had black barege which she wished to res tore to its pristine beauty, and so ordered her maid (Eve) to boil her some fig leaves, which, ati is known, are excellent for restoring color to dark materials, Having waited some time for the decoction to be brought her, she went out upon the (pi? lery of the hotel, and called in a loud voice: "Eve have you put on the fig leaves ?" A number of gentlemen seated below with diffi? culty suppressed a ]augh, and the young lady receiving no answer, reiterated her question more londly than before. Unable to restrain themselves, the gentlemen laughed loud and heartily. The absurdity of her question sud? denly flashed upon the fair young lady, and she retired, to hide her blushes and confusion to her chamber. Eve and the fig leaves was a Standing joke at Silver Springs all that season. Laws Relating to Newspapers.?We have been asked to give the law, as it now stands, relatiug to newspapers and subscribers.: 1. Subscribers who do notgive oxpress notice to the contrary are considered wishing to con? tinue their subscription. 2. If subscribers do not order the discontinu? ance of their periodicals, the publishers may continue to send thein until all arrearages arc paid. 3. If subscribers neglect or refuse to take their periodicals from the office to which thoy are directed, they are held responsible till they have paid their bill, and ordered them discon? tinued, i 4. If subscribers move to other places with? out informing the publishers, and tho papers 1 are sent to the former direction, they aro held rcsponsiblo. ?. The courts have decided that refusing to tako periodicals from the office, or removing and leaving them uucalled for, is prima facie evidence of intentional fraud. 6. Any person who receives a newspaper and makes use of it, whether he has ordered it or not, is held in law to be a subscriber. Churning Butter?At times, from some peculiar cause, much difficulty is encountered in churning. The butter will not come. There are instances of persons having churned tho whole day to no purpose, which is certainly very trying to the good house-wife. As a last report, try a table-spoonful of soda or pearl ash, dissolved in a pint of warm water; pour it in? to the chum while it is in motion, and if but? ter don't form after this application, the opera? tion may be abandoned as nopcless. ? ^ ? ? ? Goethe used to say that it is only necessa? ry to grow old in order to become indulgent. "I see no fault," said he, "committed by others which I have not myself committed." Ago does not generally bring with it lenity like this. Living as it docs in the past, it is apt to look upen the days of its earlier life as containing all (hat there is of bright and good. Narrow vs. Broad Gauges.?The propri? ety of altering the width of the broad-gauge lines of railway to one more likely to securo dividends to the stockholders seems to be forc? ing itself on the minds of directors of railroads, the question of the advantages of the two gauges having been apparently settled in favor of the narrow wherever experience has been had. A careful and elaborate estimate of the comparative cost of one hundred miles of nar? row-gauge (threo feet^ track, and the same length of wide gauge (four feet eight and a half inches,) makes the former ?1,635,800, or.?16,338 per mile, and the latter $2,538,300, or ?25,383 per mile. This includes not only the entiro cost of the road, with siding, fencing, and en? gineering but depots, shops, locomotives and cars also ; in short, it includes tho completed road and its equipments. If the narrow-gauge road were reduced from three feet to two and a half?the Festinoig railway in Wales is only two feet wide?its cost would be materially re? duced. Tho difference between a road costing twenty-five thousand dollars a mile and one equally able to do the business costing only six? teen thousand dollars a mile, is a point of no little importance. But it is not in the first cost alone that there is a difference in favor of the narrow-gauge track; a proportionate difference runs through the operating expenses. The re? duction of the gauge reduces the unproductive weight of the trains; the rails, instead of be? ing crushed, as they are beneath heavy trains of wide gauge roads, are merely worn out: and thus there is a material saving in the wear and tear. The narrow-gauge locomotives would weigh only six tonB instead of fifteen; and the passenger cars, carrying twelve persons each, would weigh only two or three tons instead of eight. This small locomotive, with its small train of cars, would not of course carry as many passengers as a train on the wider road, but, in case of one-half tho roads in the West, it could easily be able to carry all the passen? gers needed to be transported. Since it is ad? mitted, on behalf of the broad-gauges, that as a rule they don't pay, it is claimed on behalf of the narrow that they cannot help paying if Eroperly managed; allowing them of course to ave the same chance of traffic as the wider lines, the chances would seem to be altogether in favor of a universal adoption of the latter sooner or later.?New York Shipping Litt. The Eichest Widow in America.?In the bright and bustling city of Hartford, Connect? icut, resides the handsome and wealthy Mrs. Colt, relict of Samuel Colt, the inventor of ';he revolving firearm. From the Brooklyn Union we learn some interesting facta relative to her property. Some ten years ago Colonel Colt died, leaving a magnificent property, including a nice little estate valued at $5,000,000 to his wife. The estate is comprised of beautiful grounds, on which are residences, churches, manufacto? ries, etc The widow has improved the origi? nal value and beauty of the grounds very much. A $200,000 church, for the workmen on the es? tate, was erected under her direction. It is ornately embellished with everything that cor? rect taste backed by an open pocket-book could furnish. Among the most enviable features of Mrs. Colt's perquisites are. that her grounds contain great ponds fairly alive with enormous gold and silver fish; that the lanes are adorned with exquisite statuary, including a small but other? wise surprisingly close copy of the Amazon, that such enviable delicacies as fresh figs, oran? ges, peaches, etc., are obtained from her mam mouth hot house the whole year round; that her huge conservatories contt,it:, a collection of rare exotica unsurpassed in this country; and that, in fact, she has within her grasp all that an enormous fortune handled with appreciative lavishness and culture can procure. Mrs. Colt continues to wear half mourning. She is a brilliant lady, who receives and enter? tains her friends in a manner so pleasent as to render it a particular jfavor to be rankod among her acquaintances. The Origin of Dancing.?Egypt claims to be the inventor of dancing, as well as tho sci? ence of geometry. One of the most famous of their dances was the Astronomical dance, round an altar, which was supposed to represent the sun, whilst the priests around it were the indi? vidual planets; their movements were, as befit? ted the sacred occasion, solemn and stately. In later and more civilized tjmes, the govern? ment, dreading the effect of public aud self practiced dancing upon a people naturally much given to licentiousness and immorality, forbid the higher classes to learn the art, and permitted persons of the lowest caste to take it' up as a regular and recognized profession. Grace of posture and movement was the chief end attained, and they danced to the sound of the harp, lyre, guitar, pipe and tambourine, and in the streets to the drum. According to Wilkinson, a primitive form of the modern bal? lot, and especially the step of the pirouette, delighted an Egyptian party upwards of three thousand five hundred years ago. Their dres? ses were transparent, and sometimes they ap? pear to have danced entirely naked. The dance was often supplemented by gymnasts, and among the inferior order of performers, tended toward a species of pantomine and dumb show. Jefferson's Ten Rules.?1. Never put off till to-morrow what you can do to-day. 2. Never trouble another for what you can do yourself. 2. Never spend your money before you have it 4. Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap. 6. Pride costs more than hunger, thirst and cold. 6. We seldom repent of having eaten too little. 7. Nothing is troublesome that we do wil? lingly. 8. How much pain the evils have cost us that have never happened. 9. Take things always by tho smooth handle. 10. When angry count ten before you 6peak; if very angry count a hundred. I Flies on Horses.?Tho Journal of Chernir try gives the following as preventive of horses being teased by flies. Wo wish some of our readers would try it, and report the result through these columns. The recipe is as fol? lows : Take two or three haudfuls of walnut leaves, upon which pour three quarts of cold water, let it infuse one night aud pour the wholo next morning into a kettle, and let it boil for a quarter of an hour. When cold, it will be fit for use. Tho way to use it is to mois? ten a sponge, and before a horse gets out of the stablo let those parts which are most irritable be smeared over with liquor, viz : Between and upon the ears, neck, flanks, etc. Not only tho gentleman or lady who rides out for pleasuro derive pleasure from the walnut leaves thus prepared, but the coachman, the wagoner, and all others who use horses during the hot weath? er. ? The statistics of the General Life Insur? ance Company of London, it is announced, prove that if one hundred thousand intemper? ate persons from fifteen to seventy years of age be compared with one hundred thousand per? sons of regular habits, thirty-two of tho former class will die as frequently as ten of the latter class. Out of ono hundred thousand of each class 10,007 of the intemperate will be dead be? fore the ago of forty, and only 4,2156 ol tho temperate. The proportions of deaths of in? temperate to temperate persons, it is calculated, is, therefore, thirty-two to ten. ? A gentleman in Jefferson City, who was troublca with bed bugs, soaked the bed with kerosene and turned it, leaving the light burn? ing. Just as lie was dreaming that a regiment of bugs were drawing up a set of resolutions condemning him for using kerosene, he was awakened by a fireman pointing tho nozzle of a hose through the window. Tin; houso was injured, but the man was not. ? Why are poor relations like fits of the gout ? Because the oftener they come, the lon? ger they stay. ? Glory is well enough for a rich man, but it is of very little consequence to a poor man with a large family. ? Though men boast of holding the reins, the women generally tell them which way they must drive. ? A young woman in the country says she wishes she had a magic mirror, to see how her husband amuses himself in her absence. ? "There are three things," said a wit, "which I have loved without understanding them?paintings, music and women." ? It may not generally be known that edi? tors get one important item of subsistence at a very low price?they get bored fo. nothing. ? Drink nothing without seeing it; sign nothing without reading it, and make sure that it means no more than it says. ? There is something queer about women. You take one that would walk up to the mouth of a cannon or a hideously bearded man with? out flinching, and show her a little spider, and she will scatter worse than a shot gun. ? Our friend whose eye-sight was not good, was recomended to try glasses. He says he went and took four at the nearest drinking sa? loon, and the result was that his sight was so much improved that he could see double. ? Somebody that claims to know, gives ad? vice about dressing for photographs. Dark brown, dark green, maroon ana plain black Soods without gloss, he says, will make a rich rab color. Silks of the same color will take considerably lighter. Snuff, brown, dark leath? er, dark drab, acarlet, cherry, dark orange, crimson and slate will also take a rich drab col? or. Violet, blue, purple, pink and magenta will take very light, and should be avoided. The hair should not be very wet or glossy. ? The physicians of Sehna, Ala., have made out a "black list," on which all persons who have failed to pay for being physicked are set down "as incorrigible sinners, who will be left in their next sickness to go to the devil in their own way." The arrangement is said to be very satisfactory to both physicians and citizens, the former will be saved a great deal of annoy? ance in trying to collect worthless bills, and many a poor cus3 among the latter will be en? abled to live out the natural term of his life. DON'T OVERLOOK THIS. No Charge for Showing Goods. fTpIIE subscriber has just returned from New I York, and is now receiving a la;rge and well-selected stock of Goods, which he is confi? dent can BE SOLD LOWER Than any stock of Goods EVER BROUGHT TO THIS MARKET. His stock consists, in part, e? Calicoes, Cambrics, Lawns, Percales, Muslins, Mozambiqueg, Japanese Cloths, Mohairs, Organdies, DeLaincs, Alpaccas, Jaconets, Swiss, Nainsook, Blea. & unblea. Shirting and Sheeting, Plaid & Striped Homespuns, Bed Tickings, And, in fact, everything else belonging to the Dry Goods line. I have also an unusually large and cheap s(tf>ck of Mens', Ladies, Boys and Misses BOOTS and SHOES. My stock of Mens', Youths' and Boys' CLOTHING and CLOTHS, Embraces everything in that line, from Cot? ton and Linen TWEEDS to the finest CLOTHS and CASSIMERE8. My Gents' Furnishing Department Is completo in everything usually kept in th at lino Of Fancy Goods and Yankee Notions, I have an endless variety. AH of the latest styles of? Ladies' and MiBses Hats and Bomets, Mens', Youths' and Boys' Hats .ad Caps, Hosiery, Gloves, Collars, Cravats, Toilet Soaps, Ribbons, Laces, Gimps, Embroideries, &o. GROCERIES, HARDWARE, IRON, STEEL, HOLLOW-WARE, SHOVELS, FORKS, 8PADES, HOES, AXES, HATCHETS, HAMMERS, &0., &0., &0. Be sure and examine my stock before purcha? sing, for I am confident I oan sell yon goods. A trial is all I ask. M. LESSEE, No. 3 Granite Row, Anderson O. II., S. O. April 6, 1871 40 MARBLE WORKS. LOCATION, Main St., near Railroad Bridge. WE WILL FURNISH MARBLE WORK AS LOW AS CAN BE BOUGHT ELSE? WHERE. Below is our Price List: Tomb Tops, of Vermont Marble, common and ordinary, 6x3 feet...$ 35 to 40 Good Quality. 45 to 47 No. 1 and Statuary. 50 to 65 Italian, of same. 50 to 55 Head Stones, 4x1 ft. 6 inches.... 14 to 10 Head Stones, 3x1 ft. 2 inchea, and 3x1 feet. 8 to 9 Monuments, Monumental Head Stones at same rates. Box Tombs, plain. 115 to 125 Fancied, good quality. 135 to 160 No. I Heavy Paneled, with posts... 175 to 190 Lettering.3 and 3 cents a letter. At our Shop we put up those ?250 Tombs at $100, and guarautee to furnish as good ma? terial and heavier paneled work for the same. Parties wishing Marble Work will find it to their interest to call on us. T. WILDMAN & CO. May 25,1S71 47 It ill Gnat Mtttj AT PENDLETON, S. C. A LL orders for TINWARE from country raer chants and village stores promptly filled at low cash prices. Old fin vessels, lamps, guns, pistols, sowing machines, etc., repaired, flags, Booswax, Tallow, &c, takcu in exchange. Any ono wishing anything in the above line .rill do well to give me an early call, TAR LOR and COOKING STOVES always on hand. GEO. D. BARR, Pendlcton, S C. Fcb IC, 1S71 33 1871. SPRING TRADE. 1871. CROQUET. Complete sets from $3 to $20 per set. BASE BALLS. All the different kinds at reduced pricei. FISHING TACKLE. Of every description. TRAVELING BAGS. For ladies and gentlemen. FOREIGN FANCY GOODS. GUNS AND PISTOLS OF ALL KINDS and PRICES. AMMUNITION, SPORTSMEN'S GOODS. Goods shipped to any part of the country per express. The same careful attention given to or? ders by mail as to personal purchases. Prices for onr goods based on gold at par. POULTNET, TRIMBLE & COn 200 w. Baltimore Street* BALTIMORE, KD, April 6, 1871 40 ly IMPORTANT 1NOXICTJB TO CONSUMERS OF DRY GOODS. All Retail Orders amounting to $20 and Over Delivered in any Part of the Country .Free ol Express Ohargreef* HAMILTON EASTER & SONS, OF BALTIMORE, MD., In order the "better to meet the wants of their Retail Cm* tomcrs at a distance, have established a SAMPLE BUREAU. and will, upon application, promptly send by mail full lines of Samples of the Newest and most Fashionable Goods, of FRENCH, ENGLISH and DOMESTIC MANUFACTURE, guaranteeing at all times to sell at low, if not at less prices, than any bouse in the country. Buying our goods from the largest and most celebrated manufacturers in the different parts of Europe, and Im? porting tiie same by Steamers direct to Baltimore, oar Stock is at all times promptly supplied with the uovcIUeo of the London and Paris markets. As we buy and sell only /or cash, and mate no bad debts, we are able aud willing to sell our goods at feom Tew to Fifteen Per Cent. Less Prokit than if we gave credit. In sending for samples specify the kind of goods desired. We keep the best grades ot every class of goods, from the lowest to the most costly. Orders unaccompanied try the cash will be sent C. 0. D. PROMPT-PAYING WHOLESALE BUYERS an? Invi' ted to inspect the Stock in our Jobbing and Packing De? partmcnt. Address HAMILTON EASTER 4 SONS, 197, 199, 201 and 203 West Baltimore Street. Baltimore, Md. Oct27,1S70 IS ly WAVERLY HOUSE, Anderson, S. C. -*-? JOHN A. MA YES, Proprietor. -<t> THE WAVERLY HOUSE has been repaired and fitted up, and hoe now a magnificent ap? pearance. Mr. Mayes is lately of Abbeville, and is well known as a good Hotel keeper. The House has been newly furnished, and has all the modern improvements and comforts., and will give the best the country affords in way of fare, which will be served up in the best of style. Stop and see us, and you will be well treated. March 23, 1871 38 H. H. SCUDDAY, M. D., Physician and Surgeon, ANDERSON C. H., S. C, RESPECTFULLY tenders his services to ihn citizens of Anderson Tillage and vicinity. With an experience of sixteen years in all forms of disease peculiar to this climate, he hopes to meet the expectations of all patients committed to his care. Special attention given to Obsterics, and dis? eases of women and obildren. When not professionally engaged, he can usu? ally be seen at the Drug Store of Messrs. Simp? son, Hill & Co., or at the residence formerly oc? cupied by J. B. Sloan, deceased. March 23, 1871 38 6m M. GOLDSMITH. p. KUD GOLDSMITH & KIND, FOUNDERS & MACHINISTS, (PHCENIX lKOS WORKS,) COLUMBIA, S. C MANUFACTURERS of Steam Engines, of all sizes r Horse Powers, Circular and Muley Saw Mills, Flour Mills, Grist and Sugar Cane Mills, Ornamental House and Store Fronts, Cast Iron Railings of cv-ery sort, including graveyard*, residences, &c. Agricultural Implements, Brass1 and Iron Castings of all kinds made to order on short notice, and on the most reasonable terms. Also, manufacturers of Cotton Presses, &o. May 18, 1871 48 tj HENRY BISCHOFF & CO., Wholesale Grocers, AND DEALERS m WINES, LIQUORS, CIGARS, TOBACCO, &?., No. 197 East Bay, H. BISCnOFF.I I S%$Sl\ Charleston, S. C, Feb 23, 1871 34 6m MACQUEEN & RIECKE* WHOLESALE Produce & Provision Dealers, Have constantly on hand and receiving, Ba? con, Dry Salted Meats, Pork, LaruV Fbur, Sugar, Molasses, &c., &c. Purchasers are requested to examine their stock at 21 and 23 VEND?E RANGE, CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA, Feb 23, 1S71 34 6m m ^ER^HEEE, Millj?ariniShaftin^PDlieys L?SEND FORA ClBCUi'AR-fe: Bert 16, 1870 12 ly WM. UKNRV TRE9COT. W. W. HUMMIBEV9. TRESCOT & II?MPH11EYS, Attorneys at Law, WILL practice in the Courts of the Eighth Circuit, and in the United States Court Office in Broyles' building, opposite the Bensc* Hon?o. Anderson C. H. Feb 0, 1871 33