The Anderson intelligencer. (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, July 21, 1870, Image 4
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From the Waverlg Magazine.
HOW TO FLIRT.
" What signifies the life of man
An 'twere na for the lasses, oh !"
Oh, of all the miseries of life, that of being
an old man and no longer able to make love is
the most intolerable! You may roast a man
over a slow fire, or plunge him in a river on a
cold December night, and leave him there to
freeze?but they're nothing, absolutely nothing,
to being forced passively to look on younger
blades going ofi* with some sweet fairy to a
sleighing party, a picnic, a moonlight sail upon
the water, or any one of the score of expenses
one has for making love, while you are bellow?
ing like a bull of Bashaw, with the gout, and
dnnkiug barley water as a penance for your
sins. But, thank our stars! we've not got quite
to that.
Flirting, sirs, is the amusement for a man of
taste; not quite heartless, reckless, everlasting
flirting, but that preparatory play before mar?
riage ; it reminds you of the savory smells of
viands before dinner, or the wheeling of an ea?
gle before he darts on his prey. I love to stand
in a ball room and see such flirting going on,
especially when both are adepts; and the keen?
est observer and most consummate actor is sure
to win. Do you doubt it, you heathen ? then
let me tell you a story that will convert you
lone before"we get ready to rise from nectar
such as this.
My friend, Harry Vavasour, was a man of a
million. Besides being decidedly a good-look?
ing fellow, he was a lawyer of high talent, and
?versatile at that. His accomplishments were
almost as numerous as the thousand and one
nights of the Arabian tales. He sang, played,
painted, moulded busts, and had an enthusiasm
that burnt like the undying naphtha. He
could write poetry, and grand stuff it was ; had,
as Scott's humble friend said, "an awful knowl?
edge of history;" dabbled in belles leltres until
his criticisms were sought for as of value; and
could talk German, French, Italian, and, for
all I know, Hebrew, Syriac and Chaldee. At
a dinner party his jokes were always the best;
and in a ball-room few could rival" him if he
chose to exert himself. There's no greater mis?
take in the world, let me toll you, than to think
a man of sense cannot be a courtier.
But with all these advantages, Harry had one
draw back?and that worse than the seven
plagues of Egypt?he was poor! Now to be
poor in this country is like being a galley slave
in France. It is les majestoe?the highest crime
known to the laws. In Boston a man's talents
can do much, and in Philadelphia his birth can
do more, but in New York, and throughout the
country generally, money is the Alladin's lamp
$>r us.
Harry Vavasour was twenty-five before he
fell in love; for young lawyers who, in more
senses than one, know' less practically than
theoretically of their profession, usually have
enough to do to keep off duns and blue devils,
without thinking of matrimonv. But he had
aot been idle, and practiced love-making on
more than oue saucy vixen, both to punish her
for fickleness to others and to keep his own
hand in. All this time, however, he was wait?
ing for the right one to come along; for there's
a destiny in these matters; and I believe with
the old Piatonist, that the souls are separated
in the far recesses of eternity, and that each
meets its companion and is reunited to her on
earth.
At length Harry met the fated one; and an
angel she was, too, with eyes brighter than dew
drops on the grass, and a voice like the ringing
of rain in a wood. She seemed to float when
she walked, as Cicre in one of Flaxaman's
glorious illustrations?by-the-by, Flaxaman was
a far greater man than Canova. But enough of
this, for I've no taste for love-sick pictures,
and leave those things to old maids, school?
boys, and bread-and-butter misses. I must not,
however, forget one quality she had, and that
was a fortune. She was in every respect suited
for Harry; for as it takes oxygen ana hydrogen
to make water, so if one of a couple is poor the
other, egad, ought to be rich. Ham', however,
determined to win her before he knew this, and
trust to luck for a maintenance.
There was only one thing in his way?Miss
Balfaur was a flirt, and a desperate one. But
then she couldn't help it. It was all because
her name was Kate. I never knew a girl of
that name who wasn't a coquette; and I would
recommend it to the 'serious attention of the
clergy, whether they ought to baptize children
with such a fatal cognomen. I don't object to
a flirt of a certain kind?every man to his taste,
you know, aud Kate was a splendid creature.
Yet it was not every one who could tell the se?
cret of her charms, but knowing ones?like you
and me, Oliver, see these things as readily as
La Place saw the rebuke in the heavens. She
had heard of Harry often before, and had re?
solved to conquer this unconquerable one ; and,
to tell the truth, Harry had come to the same
conclusion in regard to her. Now, to my mind,
as a cycloid, though not the shortest line be?
tween any two given points, is the one in which
objects move the fastest, so a flirtation of this
description is the most rapid road to love. And
thus it happened now.
It was at a party they first met, and as she
was the belle of the evening, and Harry the
most desirable of the beaux, what wonder that
she should wish to win him to her side ! He
appeared at first to yield to her charms, for, sit?
ting down beside her, she seemed deeply inter?
ested in a conversation which was maintained
by both with equal brilliancy, but which he
brought to a sudden close on finding how large
their audience had grown. Then he rose to
offer a seat to an elderly lady, and with a gay
remark to one, and a bright sally to another, he
had glided away before Kate well knew how
it was done, and was chatting with a rival
belle in another department. No wonder Kate
was piqued. She determined, you may well
suppose, to have her revenge.
But Harry was not to be caught off his guard.
He knew?the rascal!?the mercy he had to
expect, and so was cautious. When a crowd
pressed her to sing, he was aecidently convers?
ing with another lady in a different parlor;
when they danced he was at the side of a rival
belle whom it was therefore natural for him to
lead out: and when Kate, in the coquette quad?
rille, would have flirted him, he foresaw it in
the wicked glance of her eye. And thus he
kept it up. throughout the evening, though a
while before they parted he joined her, as if by
accident, and made a partial amende for his in?
difference, just enough, egad 1 to keep her in a
good humor, without altogether removing her
pique. He knew then that she would go home
and think of him.
They met again, and again, and each time
Kate grew more interested in Harry; for he
dashed his cavalier manners occasionally with j
sentiment, and by now piquing and now sooth- j
ing her, got her heart at length enlisted in the
struggle, until she was?to use a common but'
good old Saxon phrase?over head and ears in
love. Not that he wholly escaped himself, that
he neither could nor wished to avoid; but flat?
tering her with occasional triumphs, he won
her on to determine on a lasting one. And
having done this he was sure of his game. But
it was long before he learned his success. Slow?
ly her weakness revealed itself. Once, but only
once, in a ball-room, when he was flirting with
another, he caught her anxiously observing
him, though her eye, when he turned, was
averted with a quickness that would have de?
ceived most people. Once she blushed at meet?
ing him unexpectedly in the street, though in
an instance her countenance resumed its usual
composure. On one occasion he was led to sus?
pect that she came to a party because he was
to be there ; and once he knew her to wear a
certain costume because he had said she looked
outre in it; and this last discovery made his
heart thrill, for, with a proud character like
Kate's, it was an evidence that she was sensi?
tive to his opinion. Thus, little by little, he
penetrated her secret. And nothing but his
profession, whose first maxim is to learn how to
conceal your thoughts and feelings, could have
prevented him from betraying the passion
which made his own heart lava. But he knew
the fitting hour had not yet come. Kate
thought every man had an eye to her fortune,
and it would not do to alarm her too soon.
One evening he called and found her alone.
She had been pensive before he entered, but at
sight of him put on her gayest mood and the
conversation rattled away. One of their mu?
tual acquaintances had just been married, and
this afforded her a scope for her wit. Oh, could
vou have heard her ridicule love, you would
have little thought her, at that very moment,
its victim. Harry joined in her sportive tirade,
but when she thanked her stars she had no
heart, he said, fixing his eyes searchingly on
her,?
"No heart?"
"None, believe me," she retorted gayly.
"Then you could never love ?"
"/love I"
"Do you plead guiltless to friendships ?"
"Friends ? I have none."
"You do not think so," be said, meaningly,
and her eye wandered before his searching look.
"Indeed?and do you question my word?"
"Waiving the word, I think?I know you are
not what you affect to be."
"Why, really, Mr. Impudence!"
"You are gay because you have sentiment to
conceal, and laugh at love because you feel few
can love as deeply as yourself."
The color rose to her cheeks.
"A pretty notion you have of yourself to
think you see this. Oh, the conceit of these
men!"
"And yet you know I speak the truth."
"I am a s?d flirt, on the contrary."
"You are very sensitive," said he meaningly.
"You are very impudent," she retorted
poutingly.
"And "when you love it will be with the
whole soul."
"What nonsense!" she said, affecting to
laugh, though her cheek was crimson. "The
next thing, you'll tell me I am as tender look?
ing as the Lady Edith?a picture we were all
laughing at the other night. Have you not
seen it ? It is here."
She advanced to the table and opend an an?
nual lying there, but there was a nervousness
in her manner that did not escape her lover's
notice. The tissue paper stuck to the plate,
nor could she remove it; Harry offered to help
her. By accident their hands met; strange to
say, hers lingered, as if she had no power to
draw it back. He felt the touch thrill both her
and himself, and his fingers closed instinctive?
ly on that fair hand. It trembled perceptibly.
A moment thus passed, during which neither
spoke. She was trembling as if she could
scarcely stand. Passing his arm around her
he gently supported her to the sofa, and drew
her toward his breast, still without a word. Her
head fell on his shoulder and she burst into
tears. She felt that be read her heart?that
her weakness was known to him. She sobbed
as if her heart would break.
"Kate, dear," he whispered, "we have acted
very foolishly, for we have long loved each oth?
er. We have hearts in unison?let us hereaf?
ter be one. Will you, dear Kate, be mine?"
She made no resistance to the embrace with
which he pressed her to his side, but nestled
their like a dove long a stranger from and but
just returned to his home. At length he bent
his face, and pushing back her curls, softly
kissed her. Ivor was the caress unreturned,
though timidly and scarcely perceptibly.
"Ah! Kate," he said, at length, "we've been
two arrant flirts."
"But we'll be so no longer," she replied, half
tenderly, half archly, as she lifted her dark
eyes, still glistening through tears, with a look
of ineffable love to his face.
Ever}' one of you asleep, egad! excepting
Oliver! Well, I don't wonder. There's not
one man in a hundred cares to hear a love sto?
ry, and for myself I should have been asleep,
too, if I hadn't been the narrator. But then,
listening to one's own voice is a temptation.
Rem auk able Predictions.?The follow?
ing extract, which a writer for the Cincinnati
Enquirer quotes from page 310 of Mr. Calhoun's
works, auu which was written in 1849, reads
like history rather than prediction :
"If it (emancipation) should ever be effected
it will be through the agency of the Federal
Government, controlled by the dominant power
of the Northern States of the Confederacy
against the resistance and struggle of the South?
ern. It can then only be effected by the pros?
tration of the white race; and that would ne?
cessarily engender the bitterest feelings of hos?
tility between them and the North. But the
reverse would be the case between the blacks
of the South and the people of the North.?
Owing their emancipation to them, they would
regard them as friends, gtrardians and patrons,
and centre accordingly all their sympathy in
them. The people of the North would not fail
to reciprocate and to favor them instead of the
whites; under the influence of such feelings,
and impelled by fanaticism and love of power,
they would not stop at emancipation. Another
step would be taken?to raise them to a politi?
cal and social equality with their former own?
ers by giving them* the right of voting and
holding public offices under the Federal Gov?
ernment. Wc sec the first step towards it in
the Bill already alluded to?to vest the free
blacks and slaves with the right to vote on the
question of emancipation in the District of Co?
lumbia. But when once raised to an equality
they would become the fast political associates
of the North, acting and voting with them on
all questions ; and by this political union be?
tween them holding the white race at the South
in complete subjection. The blacks, and the
profligate whites that might unite with them,
would become the principal recipients of the
Federal offices and patronage, and would, in
consequence, be raised above the whites of
the South in the political and social scale. We
would, in a word, change conditions with them
?a degradation greater than has vet fallen to
the lot of a free and enlightened people, and
one from which wc could not escape should
emancipation take place (which it certainly
will if not prevented) but by fleeing the homes
of ourselves and our ancestors, and by aban?
doning our country to our former slaves ' to
become the permanent abode of disorder'an?
archy, poverty, misery and wretchedness."'
? "Sam, what do you suppose is the reason
that the sun goes towards the South in the win?
ter?" "Well, I don't know massa, unless he
no stand the climate of the norf, and so am
'bliged to go to the souf where he 'sperienccs
warmer longitude."
? A gentleman says,, to preserve fresh meats
for several days, he salts them down in an or?
dinary corn-sack. This process keeps off the
flies and renders the meats cool and nice.
? Swift at one time proposed to put a tax on
female beauty, and to leave every lady to rate
her own charms. He said the tax would be
cheerfully paid, and would be very productive.
Spanish Treatment of Masons in Cuba.
The New York Journal of Commerce has re?
ceived inquiries from Masons in the United
States regarding the treatment of Cuban mem?
bers of the fraternity residing within Spanish
jurisdiction. The facts have been difficult to
obtain ; but, as nearly as that paper can get at
them from special sources of information, some
months ago a Cuban lodge was meeting in a se?
cret place near St. Jago de Cuba, when some of
General Valmaseda's troops made a descent up?
on them and captured them, eighteen in num?
ber. The object of their meeting, the Masons
insisted, was only the transaction of ordinary
businesss. But Valmaseda had, or professed
to have, a belief that they were assembled to
promote the cause of Cuban independence.
They were, therefore, turned over to one of his
lieutenants, Gonzales Boet, and marched off in?
to the country, under charge of a detachment
of soldiers. On reaching a secluded spot, Boet
ordered the captives to be shot down, and they
were thus assassinated without trial or prelimi?
nary inquiry of any kind. It is believed that
Valmaseda had given Boet a verbal order to do
this deed of butchery. The murdered Masons
were all Cubans, gentlemen of high respecta?
bility, and, their friends assert, were innocent
of any complicity in the Cuban revolution;
though there is no question that their private
sympathies, as those of nearly all Cubans-born,
living within the Spanish lines, were with their
struggling fellow countrymen. The Spanish
government in Cuba foresaw that this piece of
inhuman slaughter might give rise to demands
of explanation from the American or English
government, and Gonzales Boet was arrested
and detained in some prison unknown to our
informant, to be produced in case an inquiry
was instituted at the instance of a foreign pow?
er. But neither the American nor the English
Government meddled in the affair?it is doubt?
ed whether either of them were ever accurately
advised of the circumstances?and the mur?
derer of the eighteen Masons remains unpun?
ished and unrebuked by the Spanish authori?
ties of Cuba to this day. Whether he is still
nominally incarcerated or is free, we are unable
to say. Soon after hearing of this horrible oc?
currence, a lodge of Cuban Masons met in Ha?
vana, to take the usual steps for commemora?
ting by a "Lodge of Sorrow" the death of their
unfortunate brothere, when they were pounced
upon by order of the Captain General and
thrown into prison. Among the number seized
were several officers of the United States moni?
tor Saugus, and these were set free immediately
after arrest?the Captain General or his subor?
dinates fearing that this Government might
exact reparation for any ill-treatment of the
officers. Upon the arrival of the Cuban Ma?
sons?between thirty and forty of them?at the
Erison, they were examined by the Judge who
olds court on the premises, and he, finding
that they had committed no offence cognizable
by him, gave them their liberty. The Spanish
local government was much incensed at thus
losing its victims, and, by a peremptory order,
all the Masons were rearrested and put into a
military prison, where they now remain. The
just Judge, as a mark of the Captain General's
displeasure at his humanity, was exiled to
Spain, and in the Epoca, at Madrid, published
a justification of his course in the matter.
What will be the fate of the Cuban Masons,
upon whom the hand of tyranny has fallen so
harshly, cannot be surmised. It is given out
that they will be tried some time or other by a
court martial. They may be shot or sent to
Fernando Po, or kept in prison for a term of
years, or during the pleasure of the Captain
General. It is thought the cxtremest penalty
will not be inflicted upon them, as the Captain
General hesitates to enrage all the other Ma?
sons in Cuba, and to incur the further enmity
of that powerful organization throughout the
world. The Masons under arrest are men of
high character, and some of them of elevated
social position, and arc believed to have re?
frained studiously from any overt acts of aid
and comfort to the revolutionists, although
their feelings must naturally be with the strug?
gling people in the interior. Other Masonic
lodges in Havana, composed of Cubans, have
not been disturbed, we are told ; but they earn
their exemption ftom De Rodas' persecution
only by carefully avoiding the appearance of
sympathy with the Cuban cause.
Tun Term Rebel.?In the course of an able
and lengthy editorial notice of Gen. Hamp?
ton's recent address before the Washington
Light Infantry in Charleston, the Memphis
Sunday Appeal takes occasion to discuss the
significance of terms intended to he opprobri?
ous :
We do not sympathize in that general feeling
which repels the name of "rebel." Indeed, we
regard the word as consecrated. It has lost its
odium. We had as soon be called "rebel" as
"truly loil." In spite ol Shakespeare's apothegm,
we are inclined to believe that there is a
great deal in a name. A rose might still smell
very sweet if called dog fennel, but it would
certainly cease to he popular. Charles Lamb
wrote a farce whose hero, Mr. Hogsflcsh, could
induce no fair damsel to marry him until, by
Act of Parliament, he became transmitted into
Bacon. This principle of human nature,
which leads us to look with disfavor upon any
person or thing stigmatized by an odious name,
is well understood by politicians, and in all
ages they have made use of it for crushing
their opponents. The partisans of Charles I.
characterized their vulgar but iron-nerved ad?
versaries as Puritans, in derision of their as?
sumed saintlincss and austerity of demeanor,
or as Roundheads, in allusion to their ridicu?
lous fashion of wearing the hair cropped close ;
and they, in their turn, reciprocated the com?
pliment by giving the cavaliers the opprobri?
ous name of "maglignants." The two great
English parties of a latter day received appel?
lations of a similar derisive character. 'Tories'
was originally the name of certain Irish rob?
bers, and the court party took its revenge by
applying to their antagonists the name of the
Scotch beverage of sour milk, called whigg,
whose virtues they considered expressive of
their sour disposition. It has not unfrequcntly
happened that the nick-named party has finally
grown proud of the appellation at first bestow?
ed iu derision and intended as a reproach. A
memorable instance is that of the early revolu?
tionists of Holland, who incurred the contempt
ous epithet of 'Lcs Gueux,' or the Beggars.
They accepted the title in defiance, and acted
upon it. Instead of broaches in their hats, they
wore little wooden platters such as beggars used,
and foxes' tails instead of feathers ; and their
great Admiral scoured the seas with a broom
affixed to his masthead instead of a flag. In
like manner the term "Huguenots" soon lost all
offensive import, although it was originally used
as expressive of the secrecy with which the first
French Protestants conducted all their proceed?
ings, flitting about at night, like King Hugon,
the national hobgoblin of French nursery tales.
The term "rebel" which the dominant party of
the North so freely bestow upon all who differ
with them, has pretty much lost all trace of a
dishonorable character; and the name which
was worn so gloriously and triumphantly and
virtuously by him who was 'first in war, first in
peace, and first in the hearts of his country?
men,' cannot he considered a slanderous appel?
lation by those who claim him as the father of
their country."
-r?
Jonah's Grave.?I had almost forgotten,
says an Eastern traveler, to say that at the vil?
lage of Ninnevah, the spot where the miracu?
lous gourd grew is still pointed out. The same
spot according to Moslem tradition, is the site
of Jonah's grave, and a mosque, not very hand?
some, has been erected upon it. We succeeded,
after a great deal of trouble, in getting an order
frcm the Pacha to view the interior, and greatly
to the disgust of the guardian of the Bhnne, he
had to let us in, making us, however, take off
our boots, and grumbling loudly that never be?
fore had a Christian foot defiled the mosque, j
But we saw nothing worth describing. The re-1
puted tomb is covered up with rich draperies,
which are never removed.
The "Fourth of July" all a Myth.
Is history, after all, only a record of lies ?
Here comes the Philadelphia Ledger, pronoun?
cing the Fourth of July all a mistake, affirm?
ing that nothing connected with the Declara?
tion of Independence ever occurred Upon that
date. It asserts that according to indisputable
evidence, the Declaration of Independence
passed Congress on the second day of July,
John Adams, Writing from Philadelphia on Ju?
ly 3, 1776, as follows:
" Yesterday, the greatest question was decided
which ever was debated in America, and a
greater, perhaps, never was nor never will be
decided among men. A rcsolutiou was passed,
without one dissenting colony, 'that these
United Colonies are, and of right ought to be,
Free and Independent States.' The second day
of July, 1766, will be?the most memorable
epoch in the history of America. I am apt to
believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding
generations as the great anniversary festival."
According to the same authority, it was first
published on July 8. Writing under date of
the 9th, he says:
"The Declaration was published from that
awful stage in the State House yard, on eighth
of July. On this occasion, the battalion para?
ded on the Common, and gave us the/ue dejoie,
notwithstanding the scarcity of powder. The
bells rang all day and almost all night. Even
the chimes chimed away."
As for the signing, it did not tike place until
August 2, 1776, as shown by the following ex?
tract from the minutes of that date:
"Aiigust 2,1776. The Declaration, of Inde?
pendence, being engrossed and compared at the
table, was signed by the members."
There is no mention elsewhere in the minutes
of any circumstance connecting the Declaration
of Independence with July 4. Jefferson is
reported to have stated that'he believed it was
signed on July 4, a circumstance McKean sub?
sequently proved could not have occurred, be?
cause the resolution had not yet been engross?
ed. Here we are, then, all at sea, and without
a Fourth of July. Who in the future can ever
shoot off a fire-cracker or a rocket with any
feeling of enthusiasm, knowing the "glorious
fourth" to be a ba3e counterfeit ? Who can
console headache on the morning of the fifth
with the excuse of excessive patriotism ? We
feel as though a great light had gone out of
history, now that America with its one nation?
al holiday is made bankrupt even of that.
Recruiting for the Civil Service.?The
Washington correspondent of the New York
World says:
Mr. Grant is still recruiting the Federal civil
service from the late Confederate array. Fol?
lowing the introduction of Mr. Akerraan, Gen.
Toombs' staff officer, into the Attornev-Gener
alship, John D. Pope was nominated to the
Senate for the position of United States District
Attorney in Georgia, made vacant by Aker
man's promotion. This nominee (Pope) was a
rampant secessionist at the outbreak of the war,
became a quartermaster in the Confederate ar?
my, and was at Chickamauga. At the close of
the war he became ex-Governor Joseph E.
Brown's law partner, and remained so till both
Brown and himself were made judges under the
Bullock regime. Pope's disabilities were re?
moved some time since. His nomination is
distasteful to the Republicans, who evince a
disposition to be more sparing of amnesty since
the Executive is giving signs of meaning to
throw much patronage in the ranks of white?
washed Confederates. It is said not to be out
of the question, but that, in the event of Sec?
retary Fish's resigning, that portfolio may be
tendered to Alexander H. Stephens. Advices
from Georgia report Mr. Stephen's health as
much improved. It will be remembered that
President Grant is highly complimented in the
second volume of " The War Between the
States," Mr. Stephens' recent work.
Seasonable Advice.?The heat especially
out of the shade is intense. How to avoid
prostration by such weather is trite, but if the
telling of an old story saves the life or mitigates
the sufferings of one individual, it is worth
while to tell it. Therefore we say that while
this very warm weather prevails, do not be in a
hurry about anything, but walk, cat, drink and
work slowly. Keep in the shade as much as
possible. Patronize ice-water sparingly, like?
wise animal food. Subsist upon the rich, ripe,
sound fruits of "the season. Bathe with moder?
ation ; do not remain in the water longer than
ten minutes. Wear light clothing; wc mean
light in weight, but maintain worsted or flan?
nel under-garincnts. Do not get angry; anger
is a dangerous passion when the mercury has
risen above 80?. Do not fret. Avoid worry
and anxiety. Sleep at least eight hours out of
every twenty-four, and let the hours for sleep
be selected from the early part of the nijrht.
Above all, avoid intoxicating beverages. They
arc no use at this season, even when swallowed
temperately; they are damaging in the extreme,
if taken in extremely warm weather immode?
rately. A couple of drinks of ardent spirits
will predispose anybody, the hard working man
especially, to sun-stroke, apoplexy or syncope.
Be temperate in all things, good-natured and
chaste, and fear not.
Organizing a League.?A lady in Fair
field county, Tenn., sends the following story
to the New York Independent, with the assu?
rance that it is the simple truth : "At a meet?
ing of Republicans, white and colored, for the
purpose of forming a union league, it was dis?
covered that they had no Bible on which to
swear the members. The chairman inquired
where one could be procured. A colored
man said he had one, and offered to mount his
mule and ride to his house, two miles away, for
it. As they could not think of swearing in
members without one, his offer was accepted,
and proceedings were suspended till his return.
There were thirty men to be sworn ill, and, as
the officers officiating were very particular to
sen that each one laid his hands ou the open
Bible, the ceremony was quite a lengthy one.
After the league had been formed, business
transacted, and the meeting broken up, the
chairman discovered, to his horror, that the
supposed Bible was a copy of Shakespeare. It
was too late to remedy the mistake. Mum was
the word.'^ So he carefully handed back the
'Bible' to its owner, not even venturing to in?
quire if he ever encountered any difficulty in
finding his minister's text on his return from
meeting."
--tp
The Right Principle.?Mr. W. P. Pres?
ton, of Maryland, having been asked if he was
a candidate for Congress, made this cxccllcut
reply:
"My answer simply is, if the Democratic
party choose to select me as the standard-bear?
er of the district, I will accept the position,
and endeavor to convince those who honor mc
with their confidence that they have not mis?
placed it; but if I am never to get to Congress
until I manipulate my own nomination, I shall
never go there. I would rather remain at home
than feel that, instead of representing the un?
biassed will of the people, I owed my position
to cunning contrivances which secured mv
nomination. Truly thankful to the kindness
of my friends, I owe it to myself to say I am
among those who believe the office should seek
the mail, and not the man the office.'^
? An exchange says, a bachelor is a misera?
ble, disagreeable, dissatisfied, hated, despised,
forgotten, unreasonable, unlawful, unchristain
like, uncharitable, unprincipled, ought-to-be
ashamed, good-for-nothing, uncombed, unwash?
ed, unclcaned, unpatched, uncared-for, off-cast
of creation, who ought to eo and marry sonic
artistic, musical, smiling, blushing, delightful,
charming, social, tasteful, sweet, exquisite, re?
ligious, prayerful, conscientious and virtuous
old maid ; and raise tin a family of sweet, good
looking, loving, laughing, curlcy-hadcd, dim
plcd-chcekcd, bright-eyed, cute, frolicking,
blissful, cheerful, joyful little children, and
thus follow the worthy example of his father
before him.
Testimonial to Judge Orr?The close
of Court, on Saturday last, was made the occa?
sion of a very handsome tribute from the Ab?
beville Bar to Judge Orr, as a testimonial of
their appreciation of the ability and impartial?
ity with which he had discharged the duties of
the Term;
Col. Thomson, on behalf of the .Bar, dis?
charged the duty with customary grace and
courtesy; He assured his Honor that it was no
idle'compliment, but expressed the concurrent
sentiments of the Bar and people?a feeble
tribute of their appreciation of one who had
gained their respect and love by the honest and
impartial exercise of all the high qualities of
the judicial magistrate.
Judge Orr expressed his profound sense of the
unexpected honor?the more prized by him, as
it came from those whose abilities he respected,
and as representatives of a people among whom
he numbered some of his best friends. He
adverted to the considerations which had iu
duced him to accept the additional labor, and
paid a merited tribute to Hutson J. Lomax of
Abbeville, and Wilson Cook of Greenville,
through whose efforts the change was made.?
Abbeville Press and Banner.
? Why is a man who has no children invis?
ible ? Because he's not a parent.
? The way to treat a man of doubtful credit
is to take no note of him.
? Advice is the only sort of vice that some
people don't follow.
? Kerosene lamps arc styled "parlor maga?
zines" from their explosive tendencies.
? Though men boast of holding the reins,
the women generally tell them which way they
must drive.
? A man may properly be said to have been
drinking like a fish when he finds that he has
taken enough to make his head swim.
? Why is a beautiful and fascinating girl
like a butcher ? Because she is a "killing crea?
ture."
? A young man in Chicago recently opened
a clothing-store, and was sent to jail for it.?
Reason?the clothing-store belonged to another
man.
? A witty Frenchman said there were al?
ways two parties in a love affair?the party
who loves and the one who consents to be so
treated.
? A Georgia editor has had his pistols sto?
len. He advertises to give the thief the con?
tents, and no questions asked, if he will return
it.
? There are two reasons why some people
don't mind their own business. One is that
they haven't any business, and the second that
hey have no mind.
? "Aunt Jane," said an exasperated wife,
"I wish it was a custom for women to trade
husbands as it is for men to trade horses!"?
"Why, my dear?" "Because, if it was, I'd
cheat some woman before sundown."
?"Bachelors," says Josh Billings, "are al?
ways a braggin ov their freedom !* Freedom to
darn their own stockings and poultiss their own
shins. I had rather be a widdower once in two
years, rcglar, than tew be a grunting, old hair
dyed bachelor only ninety days."
? A lady of theshoddyocracy at Des Moines
found, on returning from a walk, some call
cards on her table. She' called a servant in
great haste, saying: "John, John, take these
and run, quick; them ladies is forgot their
tickets."
? A young gentleman in Chicago recently
found himself in company with three young
ladies, aud generously divided an orange be?
tween them. "You will rob yourself," ex?
claimed one of the damsels. "Not at all,"
replied the innocent, "I have three or four
more in my pocket!"
? When a girl out West is kissed she looks
surprised, and says, "How could you?" To
which the swain replies, "It will give me pleas?
ure to show you," and proceeds to give a aupli
caic.
? A Pennsylvania editor having stated in a
paragraph that there was a man in the place who
had been drunk thirty-live years, was called
upon by twenty different persons, who demand?
ed a retraction, each visitor insisting that the
item was a personal attack.
? At a recent decoration of graves, a youth
in kid gloves, speaking for a genteel party, ad?
dressed some ox-soldiers in front: "My dear
fellows, you prevent our seeing; you arc
standing up there right in front of us." A
high private retorted, 'Yes, sir; and we stood
in front and covered you all over through the
war."
? The fourteenth wonder of the world has
been found. It is a man residing in Bullock
county, Alabama, who has bought neither com
nor bacon in thirty-seven years, and who does
not owe a dollar!
? An intellectual young lady?"Oh, mam?
ma, I asked Miss Brown what is dew. She says
it is the moisture imbibed bv.plants during the
nights of the summer months. Now, mamma,
dear, dew is the condensation of aquous vapor
by a body which has radiated its atomic por?
tion of caloric below the atmospheric tempera?
ture."
? The editor of an Augusta (Ark.) paper
saw Jeff Davis the other day at a hotel in
Memphis. He says: "The last time we saw
him was down in Georgia, riding thinly by our
thin lines, reviewing. And there he sits eating
-a grey-headed confederate postage-stamp.
He wasn't insuring lives when we belonged to
him."
? Boston is credited with the possession of a
young lady whose cars were too large to suit
her aristocratic notions, and who, to remedy
the over-bountiful provision of nature, went to
a physician and had a delicate crescent of pink
?Turtle about an inch and a half long removed
rom each protuberant. It is generally con?
ceded that an aurist in this peculiar line would
find ample employment in Boston, if the men
were possessed of the same delicate notions as
this sensitive young lady.
? The Texas State Press Association, anx?
ious to disabuse the public mind of erroneous
impressions regarding that State and its people,
have issued an invitation to the press of the
United States to meet them at Houston on the
15th of November next, to travel with them
over the public thoroughfares, visit the towns
and cities, view the beautiful country, become
acquainted with the people and partake of their
hospitalities. Certainly if Texas has been
misrepresented, there could be no more effect?
ual way devised for setting her right before the
world.
? The London Globe is responsible for the
item, in which a German gentleman, finding
that his wife had eloped with a fast friend of
his, pens the following note to the destroyer of
his domestic peace: "Sir, I have for some time
wished to get rid of my wife. Eight days since
she was bitten by a mad dog, and I have been
waiting with resignation for the usual results.
You will stand by her and help her in her sad
plight. Farewell!" Half an hour after re?
ceiving the communication the ardent lover
eloped again, but quite alone. Persons similar- j
ly afflicted please copy.
THE CHRONICLE & SENTINEL,
Published at Augusta, Ga.
DAILY, TRI-WEEKLY AND WEEKLY
CONTAINS all the latest news by Mail and Telegraph,
embracing full Commercial and Financial RMJOT s from all
the leading centres, rogether with the latest I olitical and
Coneral information upon all subjects which interest the
reading public. , ,?
The terms of the DAILY arc S.1 for six months, aod?tO
for one rear. .. ?_, . ? , .? ,
The TM-WEEKLTi isf3.u0for fix months, and S6 for
?TO?^WKEKLY CHRONICLE & SENTINEL is a mam?
moth paper of thirtv-six columns, filled with Editorials,
Telegraphic Dispatches, Communications on home matters,
together with Agricultural, Commercial and Financial ar?
ticles?making it one of the most desirable and valuable
papers in the country to the Planter, Fanner and Mer?
chant. The terms are Sa per annum, or 81.50 six months.
All subscriptions arc required in advance.
Liberal commissions paid responsible agents.
Address all letters and communications to the
C1IRONICLE A SENTINEL,
Augtikta, Us.
UTT" Specimen copies sent free.
May 'JO, 1870 48
THE POLICY-HOLDEES'
LIFE AND TONTINE ASSURANCE COMPANY
OF THE SOUTH,
29 Broad Street, Charleston, S. C.t
HAVING deposited $50,000 with the Compi
troller General for the protection of it?
policy-holders, will issue the usual forms of Lift
and Endowment Policies.
// is ike most liberal Company to tht Assured in
the World.
The Charter guarantees to the assured the each
surrender value of his policy after one anntial pre*
mium has been paid, except in ease of fra?d.
It is the only purely mutual Company in thi
South.
It has no Stockholders. All eurplus profits
must be divided among the policy-holders.
It is thoroughly conservative.
Its investments are confined by charter to the
most solid securities, and it is under management of
men of well established ability and integrity.
Persons desiring any information will please
?communicate With any of the officers.
WM. MCBURNEY, President.
E. P. ALEXANDER, Vice Pres. and Act.
GEO. E. BOGGS, Sec. and Gen. Agent.
JOHN T. DARBY", M. D., Med. Adviser.
JAMES A. HOYT, Local Agent for Andeisofl,
and Dr. TIIOS. A. EVINS, Medical Examiner.
April 21,1870 43
GEORGE W. CARPENTER'S
Compound Fluid Extract of Sarsa*
par ilia.
GEORGE W. CARPENTER'S
Compound Fluid Extract of Bucha
THESE celebrated preparations, originally in?
troduced by George W. Carpenter, under the pat?
ronage of the medical faculty, have been so long
extensively used by Physicians aud others, that
they are generally known for their intrinsic value,
and can be relied on as being most valuable rem?
edies in all cases where Sarsaparilla or Bucha are
applicable, and cannot be too highly recommend?
ed. They are prepared in a highly concentrated
form, so as to render the dose small and conven?
ient. Orders by mail or otherwise will receive
prompt attentiou.
GEORGE W. CARPENTER, HENSZEY & CO.,
Wholesale Chemical Warehouse,
No. 737 Market street, Philadelphia.
For sale by Walters & Baker and W. H. Nardin
& Co., Anderson, S. C. Dowie & Moise, Whole?
sale Agents, Charleston, S. C.
Oct21,1869 17
A. B. MULLIGAN,
COTTON FACTOR
and
General Commisson Merchant,
ACCOMMODATION WHARF,
CHARLESTON, S .. C.
Liberal Advances made on Cotton*
ggg3" I will, when placed in funds, purchase
and lorward all kinds of Merchandize, Machine
ry, Agricultural Implements, Manures, Seeds, &c
Sept 23, 1709 13 tj
Greenville & Columbia Bailroad.
GENERAL SUPERINTENDENT'S OFFICE,!
Columbia, January 15, 1870. >
ON and after WEDNESDAY, Jannary 19, the
flowing Schedule will b? rrra daily, Snncmy ex?
cepted, connecting with Night Train on South
Carolina Road, up and down, and with Nigh
Train on Charlotte, Columbia and Augusta Road
srens North:
L've Columbia 7.00 a m
" Alston 8.40 a n?
" Newb'ry 10.10 a m
Arr. Abbeville 3.00 p m
" Anderson 4.20 p m
" Gr'nvillo 5.00 p m
L've Greenville 5.45 a d?
w Anderson- &.2& a fta
" Abbeville 8.00 a m
" Newb'ry 12.35 p m
" Alston 2.10 p m
Arr. Columbia 3.45 p m
The Train will return from Belton to Anderson
on Monday ami Friday mornings.
JAMES 0. MEREDITH, Gen. Sup't
Jan 20, 1870 80
n. BtscnoFF. r. wn.nr.nx. j. h. pixpsk..
JOHN McFALL,
WITH
HENRY BISCHOFF & CO.,
WHOLESALE GROCERS,
AND HEALERS IK
WINES, LIQUORS,
Cigrars, Tobacco, Sco.9
NO. 197 EAST BAY,
CiHAMlSSMH, S(D, CA.
Not 25, 1869 22
Schedule Blue Bidge Bailroad.
ON and after this date the following s abed ale
will be observed by the Passenger Trains over
this Road :
vp. Down.
L've Anderson, 4.20 p m
" Pcndleton, 5.20 "
ii perry villc, G.10 "
Arr. Walhalla, 7.00 "
L've Walhalla, 8.80am
" Perryville,4.10 "
" Pendletoo, 5J0 "
Arr. Anderson, 6.10" "
In cases of detention on the G. and C. R. R.,
the train on this Road will wait one hour for the
train from Belton, except on Saturdays, when it
will wait until the arrival of the Belton train.
W. H. D. GAILLARD, Sup't.
March 10, 1870 87
Tutt's Vegetable Liver Pills I
For LiTer Complaint, BilTiousness, &c.
Tutt's Sarsaparilla and Queen's Delight,
For purifying the blood.
Tutt's Expectorant,
For Cough's, Cold's, Consumption, &o., . Aa?
Tutt's Improved Hair Dye,
The best in the world,
Are for sale i-n Anderson by W alters & Fajmbv
Druggists, and Druggists and Mer?hants generally
throughout the United Slates.
July 29 1869 6_IJF
JAMES H. THORN WELL,
Attorney at Lutt,
ANDERSON C. H., S, C
jggf- Office in the residence immediately opp??
site Dr. Cnter's, on Main street.
Feb 3, 1870 32 Scv
Flour, Bacon, Corn, &c
AFINE lot of Flour, Bacon, Corn, &e., eft
hand, and for sale cheap by
M. LESSER, Agent.
Marek 24, 1870 39
You had better Believe It*
ALL persons owing me money had better come
forward and pay up, or they will certainly
be sued. M. LESSER, Agent.
March 24, 1870 89
Groceries.
SUGAR, Coffee, Tea, Syrups, and all kind*
Groceries can be had, at reduced prices for
cash, by going to M. LESSER, Agent.
March 24, 1870 89
The Spondulix!
HAVING purchased my Goods for cash, I want
it strictly understood that I must have cash
for them. M. LESSER, Agent.
March 24, 1870 39