Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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4 \ The aver jfe length of life in Nor way h greater than in any other coun try ou the globe. The total school enrollment for the United States last year was 14,200,000 including universities, private and parochial schools. The man of brains and energy •'longing for a career” has no business leaving a farm nowadays, maintains the American Farmer. He can put all the brains of a Webster or a Na poleon into the development of a 100- acre tract, and find they will yield a rich re:urn. One of the revelations of the census is that the nursery and floral interests of this country made use of 170,000 acres of land, and employ a capital estimated at $42,000,000. At no former era of the Republic, avers the Boston Cultivator, would the census show such a result as this. A glacier has been found in south ern California. For many years tra dition has told of such a phenomenon of nature, and recently an expedition was sent out by the Los Angeles Her ald to investigate the matter. The tradition was verified, for upon the upper levels of Grayback Mountain, the greatest of the San Bernardino range, a glacier one mile long, and ou the average two hundred feet in depth, was found. The icy mass, according to computation made, moves down wards at the rate of forty-seven feet a year. Discussing the value of a tree as a schoolmaster, Garden and Forest pre sents as the first of its lessons that ‘‘it teaches man to reserve judgment by showing that the insignificance of a germ is no criterion of the magni tude of its product, that slowness of development is not an index of the scope of growth, and proves to him that the most far-reaching results can be attained by very simple means. A barrel of acorns may be the nucelus of a forest that shall cherish streams to fertilize a desert; a handful of cedar cones may avert an avalanche, while a bushel of pine seed may pre vent the depopulation of a great sec tion of country by mountain tor rents. Red Cloud’s son, Big Cloud, a young man of twenty-one years, recently passed through St. Louis on his way home to die. He became a hopeless consumptive during his stay at Hamp ton, and as the rules of that institution forbid any moribund student to re main there the sick brave was des patched without ceremony to South Dakota. Curiously enough, his com panions and attendants on the trip were a young bridal couple, Little Bear and Yellow Minnie, who were made one by the chaplain of the school a few weeks ago. The party were all in dire financial straits, and sympa thetic passengers on the train raised a purse to lengthen the honeymoon joys of the lovers and to provide a few last luxuries for the dying man. It has been long believed that the Andes would forever remain a barrier between the eastern and the western coast of South America, and that the republics of the coutineut would upon this account always be isolated as at present. Engineering skill has, how ever, succeeded in solving this, the most difficult problem ever sot for it, and a railway across the Andes is now in process of construction. Hereto fore all communication between the Atlantic and Pacific coasts of the country has been by means of mule trains, or a long ajid trying sea voy age around the Horn, both of which were, at certain seasons of the year, dangerous as well as tedious. The new road is to be built as a means of communication between Argentine and Chili, and nearly a hundred miles of track is already open for traffic. Aside from the increased comfort and speed of railway travel there are in ducements ofleied by the new route that no other railway in the world can equal. It passes through one of the most picturesque portions of the southern Andes, and opens up a re gion of which hitherto little has been known. A Peculiar Little Animal. An old trapper has been bringing from the mountains for two weeks a number of peculiar little animals that have puzzled a good many people to tell what they were. They are about the siz • of a common coon. Their bodies arc long ami slender and well protected witn a thick growth of brownish-colored hair. Their eyes arc black and snapping, and when teased they growl and spit like a cat, showing a row of teeth as sharp as cambric needles. The name of these ; little animals is the bussiris, and they are a species of the civil cat, ranking between the cat and the weasel. They are better than all the pussies in crea tion as rat exterminations, and about twenty of them have been turned loose in different warehouses and liv ery stables in this city. — [San Fran cisco Call. The diving apparatus is ne of the latest objects to which telephone has Peen applied Be Patient with the Living. Sweet friend, when thou and I art gone Beyond earth’s weary labor, When small shall be our need of grace From comrade or from neighbor; Passed all the strife, the toil, the care, And done with all the sighing— What tender truth shall we have gained, Alas’ by simply dying? Then lips too chary of the praise Will tell our merits over. And eyes too swift our fault? to see Shall no defect discover; Then hands that would not lift a stone When stones were thick to cumber Our steep hill path will scatter flowers Above our pillowed slumber. Sweet friend, perchance both you and I, Ere love is past forgiving, Should take the earnest lesson home— Be patient with the living! Today’s repressed rebuke may save Our blinding tears tomorrow; Then patience e’en when keenest edge May whet a nameless sorrow. 'Tis easy to be gentle when Death silence shames our clamor, And easy to discern the best Through memory’s mystic glamour; But wise it were for thee and me, Ere love is past forgiving, To take the tender lesson bojne— Be patient with the living! — [Good Cheer. A BOX OF CHOCOLATES. BY HELEN FORUEST GRAVES. “Why,” cried Eleanor Goode, “It’s a perfect palace?” “Isn’t it?” echoed Miriam Kasson. •‘I wish, dear, I could ask you to stay and spend the day, but I dare not; I’m too much of a stranger here to take any liberties.” “Oh, I shouldn’t expect it! 7 ’ said Eleanor, looking around at the deco, rated ceilings, pale blue silk draperies and lovely bits of landscape on the walls. “I know exactly how you’re situated, Milly. But can’t you come shopping with me? Bob has given me a five-dollar-bill to buy a nevt gown with, and there are some of the sweotest old-blue ginghams at Tuck & Nipp’s.” Miss Kasson shook her head. ‘•Impossible!” said she. “You see the family have gone to Barrington to a funeral, and I am left in charge. And you don’t know,” she added with a comical little pursing up of the lips, “how afraid I am of Mrs. Yerkes, the housekeeper, or how ray heart beats when I feel myself compelled to give an order to the butler.” “I wish I were you!” cried Elean or. “It would be such fun!” “One hardly knows,” sighed Mir iam, “whether one is a lady or a ser vant I” “Oh, there can’t be much doubt of that!” said Eleanor. “Look at your self in the mirror, dear. Wouldn’t you say that you beheld a princess in disguise?” , “Nonsense! But at least let me get you a glass of cool water, Nell; you look so flushed with your long walk.” She slipped away, while Eleanor beguiled the time of her absence by a lengthened survey of herself in the mirror. Yes, it was no unsatisfactory view --a dimpled, rosy young Venus, with sparkling hazel eyes, red lips and a complexion of purest pink and white. And then— Good gracious! one of the ribbon loops of her airy summer dress had come loose. She looked frantically around for a pin to repair damages; but no pin was to be seen. “They’re in the bureau drawer,” said she to herself. “Milly always was too distressingly neat for any thing. Oh, here they are!” grasping at a paper of pins. “And here, too— oh, the delicious little glutton!—here’s a box of chocolate caramels, tied with pink ribbon. I’ll teach her to hide her sweeties away from me! How she will stare when she finds them gone!” It was the act of a moment to whisk the bonbon box into her little shop ping-bag, and appear deeply absorbed in repairing the damages to her ward robe, when Miss Cassou came Jn, bringing a glass of water and some fancy crackers, on a small Japanese tray. By the time she reached the famous emporium of Messrs. Tuck A: Nipp, the “bargains” in old-blue Jginghams were gone, and nothing remained “fit to be seen” at any price to which she couid venture to aspire, and so she be took herself sorrowfully to the pretty flat which she called home. And none too soon; for a telegram awaited her there, announcing tbit her mother, in Orange County, was very ill, and it was necessary for her to go thither at once. At the end of two weeks she brought her mother home, nearly re covered. Little $arah, the youngest sister, re ceived her joyfully. “It’s been so lonesome without you, Nell.” said she. “I've kept house beautifully, only Biddy has scorched the oatmeal every morning and the coli'ee hasn’t tasted just right, and Bob lias been so busy he couldn’t find time to go walking with me.” “Busy!” satirically echoed Eleanor. “Oh, but he really was! He’s got a real case, Bob has; and it’s awful interesting, too. The judge assigned it to him because the defendant—I think that’s the proper law phrasq,” with a pretty little wrinkling of the eyebrows—“hadn’t any means to pro vide one for herself. And she’s ever so pretty, Bob says, and lie’s quite sure she isn’t guilty; and wouldn't it be strange,” nestling her curly head against her mother’s shoulder, “if Bob should fall iu love with his first client?” Eleanor looked distressed. “Mother,” said she, “didn’t I tell you what would come of your allow ing Sarah to read so many novels? In love, indeed! Most likely the woman 13 an adventuress.” “All the same,” persisted Sarah, “Bob says it’s a very interesting case, and it’s iu all the papers headed, ‘The Great Diamond Robbery.’ ” “The child has been reading those horrid daily papers, too!” groaned Eleanor. “And it has advertised Bob more than a dozen ordinary title cases, or breaches of contract, or that sort of thing,” insisted Sarah. “He says so himself.” “Well, I declare!” said Mrs. Goode, who shared the romantic proclivities of her young daughter. “A diamond robbery and a beautiful girl! Of course she didn’t do it.” “Oh,” cried Eleanor, impatiently, stamping her foot, “how impractica ble you all are! Why shouldn’t she be guilty? Can’t a pretty girl be wicked as well as a plain one? As if looks mattered! But all the same, I’m glad Bub has had a good opening in. the courts. And now, mamma, you must have a cup of tea, and lie down awhile before did tier.” “I’d wager my existence,” said Mr. Robert Goode, making a desperate at tack on the cold ham and radishes that garnished the breakfast table, “that she’s innocent. Only, here comes up this question: Where arc the jew els?” “Yes,” said Eleanor, incredulously, “that’s the very question—where arc the jewels? How you men are daz zled by a pair of bright eves!” Mr. Goode had given his sister a long account of the legal tangle, com plicating it still further by learned technicalities and a ceaseless repeti tion of “my client,” “the defendant” and “the complainant,” to all of which she had given but a half atteu- tion, and at the end of the meal she rose hurriedly. “I’ll go out for a little,” said she. “I want to see a dear friend of mine, who must think I’m neglecting her shockingly.” And in the soft July sunset she went to the big house on Fifty-sev enth street, and timidly pressing the electric button, inquired for Miss Kasson. The tall butler froze her with a glance. “Ain’t been ’ere for a long time,” said he, and shut the door uncere moniously iu her face. And she returned home in great amazement. In her absence Mr. Robert Goode had been “turning the place upside down,” as little Sarah expressed it, in search of a bag to carry his papers in. “The lock of mine is out of order,” said he, “and I can’t get it back until Wednesday. Any one of your bags will do. Nonsense! Do you think I want a Saratoga trunk?” as Sarah pro duced her mother’s travelling case. “Or a doll baby’s satchel?” as she reached down her own from the top shelf. “Is this all you have got?” “There’s Nell’s shopping bag,” said the little girl. “It’s littler than moth er’s and bigger than mine.” “Get it then—quick! there’s a dear little dot! Oil, don’t stop to dust it!” “But I must,” plead the housewifely little thing. “It was on top of the wardrobe, where Nell put it before she went to Orange county to brother home. Audits—aw-fully dusty! And I think there’s something in it, too.” She was fumbling at the catch, when Robert caught it from her. “Pshaw I” said lie, impatiently. “A box of candy!” He tore the pink ribbon knot apart, the lid dropped off, and little Sarah, standing on tiptoe to look into the bag, stepped back with a shriek. Something from the inside seemed to flash up into their eyes like impris oned lire. At the same time Eleanor came into the room, flinging her hat and scarf wearily down. “So,” cried Robert, looking up with a face which would have furnished a study to any physiognomist, “vou are (he one who stole the Grafton dia monds!” “I? The Grafton diamonds?” What do you mean. Bob? Have you gone crazy?” gasped Eleanor. “Where did you get those jewels? What are you doing in my room?’’ “We found the diamonds here in a box in your leather bag,” said her brother. “The diamond necklace for the theft of which poor Miss Kasson is on ti iai!” •‘Miss—Kasson! You never mean that it is Miriam Kasson—my friend, Miriam.” “Didn’t I tell you so this very day?” cried Goode. ••You never mentioned her name at all. You kept saying my ‘client’— ‘the defendant.’ But, oh Bob, I know it ali now ! I was there—at the big house on Fifty-seventh street, the day before I went to Orange-County for mother. I was in Miriam’s room, and I opened her bureau drawer to find a / pin, and I thought it would be a joke to take ber box of candy away. I never opened it. I never dreamed what was iu it, and when I got home and found the telegram from Aunt Laura, I just mg the bag down and thought uo more of the whole thing. Oh, poor, poor, darling Milly! But how came the diamonds in her possess ion?” “Don’t you know? But how should you?” said Mr. Goode. “The neck lace was put in her special charge to be delivered to the jeweler who was to call for it at three o’clock. And when he called, it was gone. But it’s all right now. Great Scott! Nell! who would suppose that you were the thief?” Eieanor made a hysteric grasp at her brother’s arm. “Will they arrest me, Bob?” stam mered she. “\yill they put me in prison? But I don't care, so long as Milly is no longer unjustly suspected. Yes, I am a thief! But—hut I didn’t know it. And I never meant it!” And she burst into a storm of mingled tears and laughter. There was a rather unusual scene in court that day when the necklace itself was presented iu evidence before the legal luminaries. The complaint was withdrawn, the prisoner was honorably discharged. The composed and aristocratic Mrs. General Grafton was greatly moved, and made many apologies to Miss Kasson for the position she had taken. The newspaper reporters got a great many “points” for the evening editions, and Mr. Goode, the “rising young lawyer,” left court, with Miss Kassou leaning on his arm, amid a tempest of applause. “Lucky dog, that!” said his com peers. “After this his fortune is made!” “And all because of my foolish lit tle practical joke,” said Eleanor. “After this, I never shall want to look at a chocolate again. But, Milly, darling, why didn’t you to send to me in your trouble?” “Could I bear to have my dearest frieud know that I was suspected of theft?” sighed Miriam. “And when I knew the uame of the counsel as signed to me by the court, my lips wore more tightly sealed than over. Oh, Nell, he has been so good—so noble I He has never doubted me for a moment, even when appearances were most against me! No, I shall not go back to Mrs. Grafton’s, al though she has begged me to do so.” with me,” “Yes, you said, “You will come home said Eleanor, caressingly, must—you shall!” “I will stay with you,” she “uutii I get anjother situation.” But she nev^r took another situ ation. Any one could have guessed the outcome /^of it all. Even little Sarah guesst i it, when she said: “I do b fallen in lov lieve that our Bob has with Miss Kassou!” Shi is That are Lost. It has, to many persons, been an interesting (peculation as to the as pect of the countless wrecks which have been swallowed up by the North Atlantic since the churn of waters has been ploughed by the keels of ships. Their number is probably to be reckoned by the tens of thousands, and the greater part of them lie in a comparatively small part of that field. If we count this'portion of the Atlan tic which is most peopled with wrecks as having an area of 8,01)0.000 square m>!fs, and estimate the total number of such ruins within this space as 30,- 000, we would have an average of one sunken ship for each hundred square miles of surface. If till these crafts were at once sailing over tho surface of the sea we should, from the deck of any one of tlietn, be likely to no e the masts of several others. But as they lie on tho floor of the ocean the greater part of them are probably reduced to low mounds of rubbish, so that if the ocean floor were converted into dry ground, and we <■ ossed it in a railway, seeing the fields as we d > the prairies, it would require an attentive eye to discern the existence of mauv of these remains.— [Scribner. Ungrammatical, But to the Point. There are strange chambermaids a 1 Shepherd’s Hotel iu Cairo, Egypt. A lady declared that the one who waited on her room and attended to all the duties of the calling, even to making the beds, was a Frenchman, dressed as if for a dinner party, with white waistcoat and dresscoat, and having the air of a refined and educated gen tleman. It was really emharassing to accept his services in such a capacity. One lady, on arriving at the hotel, rang for the chambermaid, and this gentleman presented himself. Sup posing him to be the proprietor at the very least, she said: “I wish to see the chambermaid.” “Madame,” said he, politely, in the very best English he could master, “Madame, she am I!” Aud He ••Popped.” Arthur—Do you like to hear the popping of those toy pistols, Miss Madge? Madge—Yes; anything that pops just tickes me to death. — [New York Herald. HONEY-MAKING. It Takes Millions of Flowers to Produce a Pound of Honey. Facts About Beekeeping in This and Other Countries. “Did you ever consider how many flowers are required to supply one pound of honey?” said a naturalist. About two and a half million is a fair estimate. Think what a vast amount of toil by h#rd-working bees that rep resents! However, there are other creatures besides bees that gather honey. For eqample, there is the ‘honey-wasp’ of tropical America and the honey-making ant of Texas and New Mexico. The latter is very abundant iu the neighborhood of Santa Fe.aud the sweets it collects are high ly esteemed by the Mexicans not only as food but for medicinal purposes. There is an insect called the ‘tazma in Ethiopia which deposits its stores of honey without wax. It looks like a giant mosquito, and its product, which it hides away in holes under ground, is eagerly sought by the na tives as a remedy for diseases of tho throat. “There arc giant bees in In ia which suspend combs as big as house doors from the branches of trees in the forests. In the Koono province of Lithuania bees are reared in ex cavated tree trunks in the woods, and the famous Koono honey derives its peculiar and delicious flavor from the blossoms of the linden trees which are so abundant in that region. The tribe of people in the province devotes its attention exclusively to bee keeping. Bee keeping is taught in Switzerland by paid lecturers, who go from town to town and from canton to canton. In that country honey is a staple arti cle of food even among the poorest classes, bread and honey being the most common breakfast. One gets nothing else for the morning meal at the big hotels. Consequently nearly all of the Swiss product is required for home consumption and very little of it is imported. “All over continental Europe api culture is a very important industry. The German government compels all schoolmasters to pass an examination in beekeeping. European Russia produces 700,000 pounds of honey annually. The ancient Greeks were famous for honey making, but the busiuess is neglected by their modern descendants. Corsican honey is ren dered so bitter by the arbutus blos soms from which much of it is ob tained as to be unpalatable. The greatest beekeepers iu the world are in the United States. Single individ uals in California each own from 2000 to 12,000 swarms, which they farm out to the owners of orangeries and other fruit orchards during the blossoming season. One bee farm in San Diego county in that state fur nishes 150,000 pounds of honey' annu ally. Some bee farmers have floating bee houses, which follow the streams to find flowering pastures for the in sects. This was done in Egypt thousands of years ago. It has even been proposed to send swarms by- ship to the West Indies in winter. — [Washington Star. An Algerian Wild Beast Dealer. About 90 per cent, of the wild ani mals used for the beast tights of the Circus Maximus came from Northern Africa, and the Algerian coast towns are still the favorite rendezvous of in ternational pet dealers. On the steamer wharf of Algiers strangers are besieged by the native beast ped dlers extolling in broken French the mer.ts of their tame baboons, jackals, monkeys, and young Jons. In the outskirts of the Ca-bah, or hill su burb, there are regular beast farms, where lions and leopards by-dozens of pairs are kept for breeding purposes. The travelings agent of the famous Hagcnbeck sale menagerie, in Altona, near Hamburg, gives an amusing ac count of a visit to one of these zoo logical stock farms, where strangers need a guide to avoid an- encounter with the sideshow pets running loose iu all directions and rearing their young in all sorts of unexpected places. “Don’t stir that brush pile,” said the agent’s cicerone, “there’s a pair of porcupines in there and they might scare you if they start up all of a sudden. Not too far that way, cither,” he interposed, seeing the vis itor trying to take a detour to the left; “the old he-baboon makes that crib his headquarters and might tear your coat to pieces,” and so on, till they reached the lion kennels, a series of grottos excavated from a ledge of porous limestone and secured in front with short iron bars “How do you keep those youngsters from running away altogether?” in quired the agent, stepping back to rid himself of two baby lions that had squeezed through the bars aud were tugging away at his trousers. “Oh, you couldn't drive them away,” laughed the proprietor, an old Arab, engaged iu cleaning the dens by means of a long-handled hoe. “They play all over the yard iu the evening, but come back of their own accord as soon as the night gets a lit tle cool.” “Some of your boarders seem to feel quite at home,” said the visitor, pointing to a huge male lion that had turned over on his back and was play ing with a stick and a fragment of a skull bone. “Yes, they are taking it easy enough,” said the old Arab, “only on stormy nights I notice that they get restless aud push about the bars as if they were trying to find a way out. It is the time when their relations in the wilderness are doing most of their business.”—[San Francisco Chronicle. The Jaw Muscles. A very curious question has recent ly been answered by Professor Karl Sauer, on of Berlin’s most prominent dentists, in tho following manner, says a writer in the St. Louis Post- Dispatch: “The various circus performances of iron jaw development, whereby a man hanging from a trapeze holds another by a strap between his teeth, denotes such powerful strength of the muscles of the jaws aud neck that to a layman such a feat seems a little short of a miracle. “But this demonstrates only to what extent ihe strength of the muscles of the jaw can be developed by cor responding exercise. It is not as diffi cult as it seems to find out the average ordinary power of these muscles. “A flat steel or iron land pierced at the end with two holes through which a piece of wire can be pulled serves for this purpose. Tho band is laid across the teeth of the lower jaw as far back as the corners of the mouth will permit. The weights are attached to the wire, and must touch the floor or table when the mouth is held open. The wires are taut aud the person making the experiment must stand perfectly erect. “I found more than twenty years ago, while making a similar test, that the average weight which can be pulled up by the jaw, so that the lips will be closed is fifty pounds. Persons who eat coarse food, dry bread, etc., or those in the habit of cracking nuts with the teeth, acquire greater strength of the jaw than gourmands who mince delicately prepared dish es.” Housekeeping Made Easy. It has for some time been under stood that a New York electrical firm, which has been experimenting in the application of electricity to domestic purposes, was about to bring out a number of devices that would effect a revolution in the art of housekeeping. This promise is yet unfulfilled. The English, however, have been forging ahead in tho same field and with most gratifying results. Complete sets are now being manufactured in England, by the use of which an immense re duction in the labor of household duties cau be enjoyed. The sets in clude an electric kettle, which boils water a very few minutes after the switch is turned, aud by which an in valid or business man in a hurry cau make his own breakfast without trouble. There is also an electric toaster, and in the electric saucepan an egg can be boiled or stew prepared with the greatest ease, while on the electric grill chops, steaks aud pan cakes are turned out with dispatch. Iu the complement are electric ironing appliances, and the electric heaters and bath warmers are much admired for efficiency and cleanliness. Ou the other hand a series of fans can be so arranged that any room can be kept cool in the hottest day in summer. — [New York Commercial Advertiser. The Rattlesnake’s Signal. The rattlesnake’s rattle is like the sound that would be produced by the rattling of a number of peas in a pa per bag. This represents the slight ness of the sound. We arc accustomed to pictorial representations in which the reptile is made to look very angry and energetic, the tail erect in a man ner to suggest a loud 'alarum. Ac cordingly, when one hears it for the lirst time one is surprised to find the noise so slight. The sound, instead of being a rattle, is rather a tinkle, and perhaps it has a rather more metal lic character than the notion of the shaking of peas in a paper bag wo aid represent. But slight as the sound is, the person who has never met one of these reptiles before, and who, without seeing the suake, hears for the first time among mountain rocks or prairie grass its delicate, yet won derfully distinct warning, knows in stantly who and what his neighbor is. — [Quarterly Review. The Expression “Hand and Seal.” The expression “hand and seal,” which occurs so frequently in legal documents, is a reminder of the time when few men were a le to write even their own names. Scores of old English and French deeds are extant, some of them executed by kings and noblemen, in which the signature is a hand dipped in ink, the seal be.ng afterward appended, together with the sign of tlie cross, the name of the tn.sn executing tho deed being written by another hand. Dipping the entire hand in ink was, however, inconven ient and dirty, and later the thumb was substituted. The seal continued to be used, and though now it has become only a formality, legal prac tice has in many cases pronounced its employment indispensable. Cannot be Found. Ob, the pretty Kiri is a winsome pearl And her face is fair to see, But the homely girl is nearer fair What a nice girl ought to be; For a pretty girl is proud and vain, And she frets the heart of man, And she does just what she wants to do, Because she knows she can; Ah, ves! Because she knows she can. Oh, I would wed could I find a girl Who quite combines the grace | Of a homely maiden’s honest heart With a pretty woman’s face. To win this prize I would search for aye. But, alas, I fear I shan’t; Though I explore the whole world o’er I know full well I can’t; Alas, Aud alack! I know I can’t. — LSt. Louis Republican. HUMOROUS. “Help! Help!” as the lady cri< d after the hired girl left. Young man, uo one may be able to tell your fortune, but you can work it out for yourself. “How on earth did Coke, the an thracite baron, every get into soci ety?” “Through the coal hole.” On the Steamer: He—l should judge that you were a typical sailor. She—Well, yes—that is, I can heave about everything except the anchor. Rubber heeis for marching have been introduced by a French army surgeou. One would expect to see l hem bounce into popularity at once. Of all sad things by tongue or pen How sad it is to find. When you have paid a two hours' call That tie wa* up behind. “I should call tho photographer a friend of his race.” “For what reason?” “He always tries to make people look pleasant who do business with him.” Mrs. Lawnville—Which would you rather do today—go to school or help me in the garden? Little Boy—Go to school. “Would you? Why? “'cause teacher’s sick, an’' there ain’t a-goiu’ to be any.” Mother—The grocer sends word that he gave you an extra dozeu of e &8 3 Gy mistake. Where are they? Small Son—I seed I had a dozen to spare, so I threw ’em at some boys wot were kiddin’ me. You oughter see ’em scoot. An Illiterate Man’s Bargain. During the recent high water, when the flooding of the bottom lands along the Missouri was tho topic of conver sation with every one, a party of gentlemen were seated around a com fortable fire in an Independence office telling stories of flood and fish. One, a noted jurist, told this, which he claims is “Gospel fact”: It was during the flood of 1831, when so much of tho bottom lauds were “out of sight,” and a lean and lauk Kansan, tiie sole proprietor of an eightj f -acrc plat, stood on a mound surveying the great lake covering his real-estate possessions, and, disgusted, swore to sell, trade, or give away every rod of that “dod-blasted bot tom.” The opportunity soon came. Pass ing along the highway, this Kansan met another leading a calf, but still the Kansan smelt trade. To the owner of the calf he advanced and the fol lowing dialogue took place: “Stranger, want er trade?” “Wall, 1 might; what yer got?” “Well, I’ll give you a clean deed to forty acres of Kaw bottom laud fer that ar calf.” “I’ll take yer up.” The papers were drawn up and the calf was delivered, and soon after the Kansan told the story to a friend with this remark: “When I Famed that the ’tother fellow warn’t able to read, I worked the whole eighty off on him, by goily!”—[Kansas City Times. A New Type of Bullet. English ordnance experts arc inter ested at present over a new style of bullet for shoulder rifles that has been invented by Gen. Tweedle. The bul let has a case which is closed at the base aud open at the head, the case ending about half way between the shouider and the point. Upon strik ing (he head spreads ont like a mush room and suddenly becomes a projec tile of much larger calibre than it was at the time it left the gun. By this means it is thought to secure the advantages of both the small ana the large calibre weapons. During its flight it has the properties of the small sized bullet, little resistance to the air. When it strikes, however, it does not content itself with inflicting a mere wound, which may or may not incapacitate the soldier struck, but it shatters and tears, placing the ono hit hors de combat on the instant. Although not primarily intended to pierce armor of any thickness, it has been found that the Tweedle bullet is much more effective for this purpose than any of the smaller calibres that have been tried in competition with it. — [Detroit Free Press. Couldn’t Stand It. First Boy—“Ain’t you goiu’ swim- mi n’?” Second Boy—“No.” First Boy—“You -aid you was. Why don’t you?” Second Boy—“Mother said if I went in swiramin’ I’d have to take some soap along and wash.”—[Good News.