The Aiken recorder. [volume] (Aiken, S.C.) 1881-1910, July 15, 1892, Image 6
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i
Mr. Fitzgerald, a distinguished
English engineer, predicts the iminedi-
ate construction of tunnels and bridges
for an all-rail route from Loudon to
Constantinople.
Once A Week thinks that the Tice
execution must serve to convince the
sceptical that that the new method of
capital punishment in New York is
something of u success after alt
Owing to the ravages of insects,
apples, which, ten years ago, were fed
to animals as the cheapest food to be
had in Oregon, are now sold at from
$2 to $7 a box in that state. •
Notwithstanding the rich pasture
lands of England, and the fact that
she consumes more butter than any
other country in the world, dairy
farming there has been declining.
In proportion to population Swit.
zerland has a larger army than any
other European nation. Every citizen
of the laud has at some time under
gone military training and is ready
for service.
Cigar-tobacco growing and manu
facturing has made marked progress
in India within the past ten years, and
now excellent brands of her choice
tobaccos are known throughout the
world’s markets, except in the United
States.
The ubiquitous microbe is finding
his way into the mouthpieces of tele
phones, aud people are advised by the
New York Mail aud Express to clean
these instruments occasionally with
warm water and carbolic soap. How
much greater peace of mind wo would
have in this world if the scientists
didn’t know so much!
Still another African traveler, Cap
tain Binger, has gone through the
savage regions of the west coast and
the Niger without an escort and in
safety. The Frenchman says that the
natives were everywhere peaceably in
clined toward him, and he was sur
prised at their honesty. At one place
he found five or six sheds filled with
merchandise and nobody was needed
to guard them, as there were no
thieves among the people.
Brazil with 3,210,000 square miles
and 14,000,000 people is the United
States of South America. Her foreign
trade is now $315,000,000, about
equally divided between exports and
imports. England sells Brazil $47,-
000,000 worth of goods annually, and
buys only $5,000,000. The United
States last year took from Brazil
$83,233,056 worth of coffee, rubber,
sugar, hides and skins. We sold to
Brazil $14,710,955 worth of our pro
ducts, but this is double the amouut
sold four years ago.
In a French city where many rib
bons and silks are woven, the looms
which are in the homes of the people
are now to be operated by electricity.
The dynamo will be driven by water,
furnished from the city reservoirs.
An optimist predicts, in the New
York Post, that this experiment, if
successful, foreshadows the day when
much labor in the household will be
performed in the same way; that
electric machines may yet do our
washing, polish windows, sift ashes,
and clean and slice vegetables.
Among what the New Orleans
Picayune calls the odd survivals in the
United States navy is the theory that
an ensign is a very young man and
not to be trusted too far. When lads
were midshipmen at 12 or 14 and
there were wars to thin out the officers
at the top, a man reached his lieu
tenancy at worst in his early 20s.
But now that the midahipmitc is un
known and promotion is slow, an
officer may remain an ensign at 27 or
28. A few of the older captains and
admirals still hold to the idea that an
ensign needs looking after, and it is
not long since men approaching their
SOth year found themselves hampered
by rules as to coming aboard ship by
10 o'clock and other regulations, such
as prevailed in the days of boy mid
shipmen and ensigns.
It seems a pity to the New York
News that old Professor Mor«e could
not have lived to enjoy the crowning
achievement of his inventive genius,
the electric telegraph. Deeming, the
murderer, was hanged in Melbourne,
Australia, on a recent Monday morn
ing. Melbourne is on the other side
of the earth from us and away down
in the Southern Hemisphere. The ac
count of that execution was going out
of the morning newspaper offices in
New York at 4 o’clock that morning,
six hours before the event occurred,
according to time records. The ap
parent paradox of reading about a
man’s execution several hours before
it occurs is, of course, owing to the
difference in diurnal lime, but what
an amazing achievement! Well might
the old profesor have exclaimed,
In the language of the first, tele
gram sent over his little experimental
line between Washington and Balti
more, “What hath God wrought.”
Modern Conveniences.
Little Dick—What's mamma got
her teeth in a tumbler for?
Little Dot—Mebby they ache. Wish
1 had that kind.—[Good News.
•‘The CBorious Fourth.”
THE BOT’9 RESOLVE.
Breathes there a toy with soul so dead
M’ho never to himself hath said
Away along In May:
‘Til save my cash that I may buy
Borne crackers loud and rockets high,
To wake thc’echoes in the sky,
On Independence Day?”
THE CHICKEN’S FOURTH.
“I’m afraid of the Fourth of July,”
Clucked a chicked who lived iu Delhi;
‘‘So I’ll pack up my grip.
With my sunshade and *kip,
And away to the city I’ll fly.”
LEO AND THE FOURTH.
That July is the month of the Lion
Zodiacal writers have written.
But the Lion that I have my eye on—
He represents Britain—
Had troutdc iu saving his bacon
One day in July
Gone by.
So a statement like this
Cum gano .sails
Must be taken.
the aftermath.
Alas, when the day has gone by,
How heavy and beartfelt the sigh.
As the bills all come in
For the fireworks and din,
And we find the fun costs mighty high.
Aud the boy, as with pain he is tossed
O’er his pillow, then reckons the cost
Which the day’s sport imposed,
In his both optics closed
And the finger or two he has lost.
MAY'S PRISONER.
“So Harry is really coming at last,”
said Mrs. Chapin, as her husband laid
down a letter he had been reading and
took up the newspaper. ‘‘Every
summer for five } ears he has talked
of it, but I am glad that his visit has
been postponed until now, so that
you,” to her sister-in-law, “can help
entertain him. Frank always said
you two were meant for each other.”
A scarlet flush rose to May Chapin’s
usually pale cheeks.
“What possessed the man to come
here now?” she exclaimed. “He will
spoil our visit together, and if I have
been held up to him as half the para
gon Frank has pictured him to me,
we shall hate each other cordially. 1
almost hate him now!”
“I wouldn’t, May,” began M e.
Chapin, who was an inveterate teaser;
“it has always been a pet scheme of
Frank’s that you two should marry.
Indeed, I think he only asked him
here now so that he could make you
acquainted.”
“I won’t stay. I’ll go to Cousin
Mason’s until lie is gone!” exclaimed
May. “When will he be here,Frank!”
to her brother.
“Who?’’ asked Frank innocently.
‘•Your paragon, Harry Briston.
“He? ohi”—referring to the letter
which he placed carefully iu his
pocket—“he will be here on Satur
day.”
“On Saturday,” repeated May, with
a sigh of relief, “almost a week yet.
How does he look, Frank?”
“Pretty well, I believe; ho hasn’t
been ill,” replied her brother.
“What is the use of being so hate
ful, Frank? you know what I mean,”
said Miss Chapin. “What is he like?”
“Opinions ditt'er,” replied Mr.
Chapin. “Some think like his mother,
some like his father.”
May turned in mock despair to her
sister-in-law.
“Cook mutton for dinner today,
Carlie,” she said; “Frank hates it.’’
“1 wouldn’t dare,’’ replied Mrs.
Chapin, “because after diuner I mean
to ask Frank for some money to get
us some new dresses before Harry
comes.”
“Don’t ask, Carlie,” replied Mr.
Chapin, seriously; “I have to make
up a large sum of money this week,
and shall have hard work to do it.
I am going to Trenton tomorrow
to see about it. You and May may
go with me if you wish.”
“Of course I’ll go,” replied his
wife; but Miss C rapiu excused her
self. “I have some letters to write
before I go to Cousin Mason’s,” she
said. “You go, Carlie, and I will
write them tomorrow.”
“Surely you are not going away be
cause Harry is coming,” exclaimed
Mr. Chapin.
“Indeed I am,” replied Miss Chapin.
“I haven’t heard anything but Harry!
Harry! Harry! for the last five years.
I know 1 shall hate him, aud I hope 1
shall!”
“AH right, sis,” replied her brother.
“Go, of course, if you wish,” and an
indescribable exuression flashed into
his eyes. “He will be here Saturday.”
I A few moments later he looked up
from the paper.
“Here is a chance to earn your
dresses,” he said. “See here !’’
“Fifty dollars reward for the cap
ture—or information leading to the
capture—of Harry Wainlee, an insane
gentleman who escaped from the
Trenton asylum on Monday, and is
supposed to have taken the road to
Linton. Said patient is five feet
eight, young, with dark hair and eyes;
is clean shaven, with the exception of
a heavy dark moustache. Not violent
or dangerous unless contradicted or
excited.”
“Well,” queried May, as her brother
paused, “how will that help us 3 ”
“Catch him,” replied Mr. Chapin
laconically.
“Oh!” replied May, with more than
a hint of sarcasm in her tone, “I did
not think of that; I wonder I did not
Ihink of it!”
The conversation soon turned upon
the expected journey, and the escaped
patient was not mentioned again until
Mr. and Mrs. Chapiu were leaving
home the next morning.
“You are not afraid to stay alone,
are you, May?” asked Mrs. Chapin.
“I am not alone,” replied May.
“Bridget is in the kitchen, aud there
are neighbors almost within call. Be
sides, what could happen?”
“The patient from the asylum might
call,” replied Mrs. Chapin.
May Chapin laughed. “I would
much rather see him than Harry Bris-
ton,” she said.
“What did I say that for?” she said
half aloud as she watched them drive
away. “I am afraid of that man
and I do not want to see Harry Bris-
tou, but I can’t stay here like a piece
of goods in a shop window, and
Frank ought to know it.”
Later Bridget came with a pitiful
story. Her mother was sick, could
she go to her for one hou ? And in
the kindness of her heart Miss Chapin
hurried away and bade her stay until
night. Then as the gate banged be
hind Bridget’s substantial figure, and
Miss Chapiu realized that she was
really alone, she locked every door in
the house.
But as the hours dragged by and
nothing occurred, she grew weary of
the stillness of the house, and unlock
ing a side door, stepped into the gar
den. She was bending over a rose
bush when the click of the gate
aroused her; she looked up and grew
pale.
A young man of twenty-five, or
thereabouts, was approaching. Even
in her sudden alarm Miss Chapiu felt
a thrill of pity for the intruder.
It was too sad that one so young
and handsome should be insane; for
she had no doubt the man before her
was the escaped lunatic, the man that
had kept her in fear all day. A gen
tleman evidently,and the advertisement
had described him well. But when
his dark eyes met her own she could
scarcely believe that the light of reason
had fled. Magnetic eyes they were,
that drew her thought into words be
fore tlicir owner had uttered a sen
tence.
“I—I—have been expecting you all
day,” she faltered.
A look of surprise came into the
gentleman’s face.
May noticed the change in his ex
pression.
‘•Oh, dear,” she thought, “perhaps
I ought not to have said that, I am
afraid he doesn’t like it. I must say
something else.” She hesitated and
coughed.
“Of course, I’m glad to see you,”
she began. “Frank, my brother, was
telling me all about you this morning.
How handsome and nice you were,
and all that, you know,” she added
hastily, fearing that he might, with
the cunning of the insane, guess the
purport of her brother’s communica
tion.
The gentleman stood gravely i*e-
garding her; he did not look danger
ous, and the great wave of pity that
swept over the girl’s heart soul the
tears to her heart. If she could but
secure him in some way—not for the
reward, no such unworthy motive
moved her, but to save him from aim
less, helpless wandering, perhaps
from death, and to restore him to his
friends. She looked about helplessly ;
her eyes fell upon ajar of preserved
fruit placed in the open window of
A bright though!
as the gentleman
the pantry to cool,
came to her just
spoke:
“I am Harry—”
“Yes, yes, I know!” she inter
rupted, “I knew you were coming. 1
—I was going to carry these preserves
down cellar.” She dragged tlie jar
from the window ledge as she spoke.
“They are so heavy! won’t you please
carry them for, me! That is, you
know, if you would just as lief,” she
added hastily.
The gentleman stej ped forward ami
took the jar.
“Certainly,” he replied courteously,
his grave eyes regarding her, “which
way, please?”
“Down these steps if you will be
so kind, please; my brother had an
outside cellar door put in under tin*
side porch. A fortunate thiug, and
very convenient.”
“I shouldn't think such steep stairs
very convenient,” said the gentleman.
“Oh! dear, no, you are right. They
are not convenient,” replied Miss
Chapin quickly. “Would you please
put the jar in a cupboard you will
find down there? You don’t mind
the dark, do you? you are not afraid
of it? I mean,” she explained con
fusedly, “you can see iu the dark,
can’t you?”
The gentleman, half way down the
narrow stairs, paused and seemed
about to speak, but his words were
lost in the clang of the lock on the
door as Miss Chapin banged it to and
turned the key. Then she sank down
on the porch step, weak aud
trembling.
Usually the first thought that comes
after some great danger or excitement
is trivial.
“Now,” said Miss Chapin to her
self, “he will have a paroxysm aud
break the preserve jar!”
There was a few moments of sus
pense while she waited for some sound
to announce the arrival of the expect
ed paroxysm, but all was silent. She
began to feel a sense of relief, almost
I
of exhilaration. Then the face of her
prisoner appeared behind the screen
in the small square ventilator in the
wall near the door. He watched her
a moment or two before attracting her
attention.
‘•I have put the jar where you told
me to,” he said, “uow may I come
out?”
“Oh! do stay a little longer, please.
I’d so like to have you stay until my
brother conies, if you please. He’ll
be so glad to see you! You will, won’t
you? And it is cooler down there than
anywhere else. There is a bench down
there and you cau lie down and go to
sleep. It will do your poor head so
much good. There,” she added *oax-
ingly, “go away from the window
now. I don’t want to talk any more
uow.”
How glad she was that she had |
fastened the inside door^, else he
might find his way up into the kitch
en. The face disappeared, and she
grew courageous, and presently went
into the house and opening the piano
began to play soft airs that she fan
cied might soothe her prisoner to
slumber. “I will not tell Frank and
Carlie until they are rested,” she
thought.”
They came before she expected
them. Garlic’s face wore a conscious
look, and Frank glanced about the
parlor expectantly.
“Why, May,” he began, “where is
Harry? He came this afternoon and
Carlie and I stayed away so that you
two might get acquainted. Have you
captured him?”
May’s face was a picture of dis
may as a hint of the truth flashed upon
her.
“I—I’m afraid I have, Frank,” she
stammered. “He—he is shut down
cellar with the vegetajjles. I thought
h was the insane man.”
And without another word, but with
an I’ll-get-even-with-you look at her ,
brother, she ran up the stairs, followed
by Frank’s shouts of laughter, aud
shut herself into her room.
Half an hour later Carlie tapped at
the door.
“Come down, now, May,” she said,
“Frank has smoothed the way for
you and has left Mr. Briston in the
parlor alone. Come, you must apol
ogize before,—” with a spice of mis
chief in her tone— “you go to Cousin
Mason’s.”
May w r ent down, and, as Frank
afterwards said, made her apologies
like a man. That they were accepted
may be inferred from the fact that
when, six weeks later, she made her
intended visitja Cousin Mason, she
was Harry Br^Mm’s promised wife.
GEMS MADE BY ART.
How Counterfeits of Precious
Stones Are Manufactured.
Chemists May in Time Provide
Gems by Artificial Means.
Dick, |thc Seagull.
It is well knoWn that birds return
year after year to build their nests iu
the same place, often in the same tree.
The Boston Transcript reports a more
surprising case, in which a winter
visitor from the north, a seagull, has
been known to manifest a similar
local attachment.
It is twenty year* since Dick first
came aboard the lightship which lifts
and dips over Brenton’s reef, the
roughest bit of water in Xarragansett
Bay, and one of the mist dangerous
spots upon the Atlantic coast. For
twenty years he has shared what the
crew had to eat; has been their gentle
aud aflectionate pot; has taken his
part of the weather and enjoyed it all.
At just such a time every spring he
has disappeared, to spend the summer
on his native shores, but every autumn
has found him back again for the
fierce and dreary winter.
He never returned looking so worn
and out-of-feather as he did last au
tumn. Age is telling on him, and for
three or four springs the sailors have
watched his departure With sad mis-
A Natural Pea-shooter.
Jack’s botanical friend, Mr. Ernest
ingersoll, sends him a bit of news
about one of the wistarias—those
large-leaved, climbing shrubs that in
June hang their purplish-blue bios,
-om* in great clusters upon frames or
doorways, or high up on the front of
nouses and cottages. He says it is a
natural pea-shooter, lie found it out
in this way: Wishing to keep some
seeds of the Chinese wistaria, ho
picked a few of the pods that follow
the fall of the flowers in autumn, and
laid them upon a mantelpiece iu his
warm study. Midwinter came, and
one day the gentleman was astonished
to hear a sharp crack, like a tiny pis
tol-shot, and see one of the seeds fly
clear across the room, from its burst
ing pod on the mantel. It struck
against the wall as if trying to pass
through it. He laid the other pods
away in paper, and a day or two later
heard the sharp little reports made by
their snapping open. This vine, then,
is not content that its seeds shall
simply fall to the ground at its root,
and there spring up into growth, but
fhe pods wait until they have become
so tense with drying andjshriuking,
that they cau hold there edges to
gether at the seam no longer. Then
they fly apart with a spring that hurls
the seeds many yards, so that new
vines may spring up far from the old
one. As this goes on year after year,
you cau easily see how rapidly these
wistarias, if allowed to grow, would
spread themseTves over almost any ex
tent of country.—£St. Nicholas.
“The finest imitation diamonds are
made out of rock crystal,” said a
Washington dealer in precious stones
to a writer for the Washington Star.
“The bases of the most successful
counterfeits of all kinds of gems is a
pure, very dense and highly trans
parent sort of glass, which is termed
‘paste’ in the trade. For diamonds
this glass is simply cut and polished
iu facets, while for imitating other
stones, such as rubies, emeralds, sap
phires, &C., metallic oxides are mixed
with it.
“In manufacturing glass for such
purposes the processes employed have
to be conducted with the utmost
nicety. For making even tbe best
mirrors the necessary silica is obtained
from ordinary white quartz, while
common window panes are produced
from sea sand to a large extent, but
in this case rock crystal is substituted,
composing about 50 per cent, of the
ingredients of the paste. To it must
be added 22 per cent, of carbonate of
soda, and due proportions of calcined
borax, saltpetre and red lead. All of
these things are reduced to the finest
powder, mixed, fused together by
heat in a crucible and cooled slowly.
“The density, transparency and
beauty of the paste depend upon the
care taken in these processes. Thus
made it is all ready to be cut up into
diamonds and prepared for market.
It may be, however, that the manu
facturer desires to produce counterf- it
gems of other sorts. If so, he has
the means readily at hand. Supposing
that he wants rubies, he fuses with
the paste a very small quanity of per
oxide of manganese aud a trace of
Cassius purple, which will give the
proper color. For emeralds he em
ploys in like manner oxide of iron,
and for sapphires oxide of cobalt.
“Topaz is easily formed in the cru
cible by mixing with 1000 parts of the
paste 40 parts of glass of antimony
and one part of Cassius purple. For
manufacturing other kinds of gems
there are methods equally simple. Of
course none of these imitation
precious stones has the chemical oou-
stitution, hardness, specific gravity or
optical properties of real ones. Ac
cordingly their falseness is readily
perceived by an expert. Inasmuch ns
the elements of which various gems
are composed are well known, syn
thetic chemistry has attempted to re
produce them by putting the in-
gi’edients together and effecting crys
tallization in the laboratory. In this
way large masses of what might be
termed true ruby and sapphire arc
turned out artificially, such gem-like
material having some usefulness for
industrial purposes, although lacking
the brilliancy of nature’s products.
“For my own part 1 am confident
that sooner or later some, if not all, of
the stones deemed precious will be re
produced by artifice. Tim chemists
who have hitherto confined their at
tention to taking things apart are be
ginning to learn how to put them to
gether. All the gems are very simple
iu their composition, am! the problem
is merely to make their elements
crystalize properly. In all such
knowledge science has made little
progress as yet. We do not even
know for what reason one substance
is transparent while another is opaque,
though presumably there is some rela
tion between the arrangement of the
molecules in the transparent body and
the length of the light waves, which,
in the case of tiie transparent body,
permits the latter to pass through.”
The Pearl Diver’s Foe.
‘•Your wealthy ladies of Chicago
who assemble at evening part es and
soirees in magnificent costumes
covered with fine pearls know little or
nothing, perhaps, about the many
dangers encountered in gathering
these pearls from the sea,” remarked
J. G. Danvers of London, England,
at the Treinont House yesterday. “I
wrs on a trip along the coast of Zanzi
bar, Africa, a year ago, when I
learned that sea pearl fishing is not a
trade for men of weak hearts to fol
low. The pearls are gathered at the
bottom of the sea by divers.
“The reason a man with a weak
heart is not lit for fhc work is because
the stopped breath and the pressure of
ninety feet of sea water, with i’s
weight of sixty-two pounds to the
cubic foot, will bring on palpitation
of the heart and burst the weaker
vessels, causing distressing and often
dangerous hemorrhages. But the
divers are still stalwart savages, in
such rugged health that the physical
danger never occurs to them. The
dangers constantly menr.ee the diver.
Wherever the oyster grows there also
thrives the giant tridachna, a mon
strous bivalve whose shell is from
4 to 6 feet in length, firmly anchored
to the bottom.
“It lies with its scalloped shells
yawning a foot or more apart. Im
mediately anything touches it the
shells snap together, and once these
large shells are closed not a dozen
meM out of water could get them
apart, far less the single diver, fifteen
fathoms deep, who may have dropped
into the capacious mouth or have
carelessly put his hand within its
shells while groping in the gloom.
“If such a fate befall a driver there
is only one thing for him to do, and
that is to amputate himself from the
enormous mollusk and rise to the sur
face, fainting, bloody, aud mangled.
These savages will fight anything from
a lion to a python on land, but they
haven’t the courage to run against
a bivalve under ninety feet of water
and stand the chance of those yawning
shells closing iu on an arm or a leg
anti crushing the bones to splinters.
“If the monstrous mollusks should
close down and catch the diver’s head,
of course ho would never know what
killed him. His head would be
mashed to a pulp, and it would go off
as if severed by a guillotine. I saw
only one native who had been caught
by the mollusk. It had closed down
on his left hand, and the only thing he
could do, as the monster held him was
to cut off his left arm at the elbow.’’
— [Chicago Herald.
The “Treasure” State.
Montana is the largest of the newly
admitted States; in fact, it is as large
as Washington and North Dakota
combined. It is one-sixth larger than
the United Kingdom of Great Britain
and Ireland. It is the third State in
the sisterhood, ranking next after
Texas and California. It contains
143,776 square miies, and is therefore
the size of the States of New York,
New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland,
Virginia and West Virginia all rolled
together. It is about 540 miles in
length, and half as wide. As it is
approached from the east, it seems to
be a continuation of the bunch-grass
plains land which makes up all of
North Dakota. But almost all at once
upon entering Montana the monotony
of the great plateau is relieved by its
disturbance into hills, which grow
more and more numerous, and take
on greater and greater bulk and
height, until, when one-third of the
State has been passed, the earth is all
distorted with mountains and moun
tain spurs. These are the forerunners
of the Rockies, which, speaking
roughly, make up the final or western
third of this grand and imperial new
State. A glance at the map will call
to the attention the apparently con
tradictory fact that the principal seats
of population in the State are directly
iu the Rocky Mountain region. This
is difficult for the majority of readers
to account for. They think of the
Rocky Mountains as great bastions of
bare stone—and such, indeed, the
main range is; but the spurs and
lesser or side ranges are grass-clad or
wooded elevations, and even amid the
veritable Rockies themselves are in
numerable valleys coated with the
ricbest, most nutritious pasturage to
be found anywhere iu the world. In
or beside such valleys are the cities
built there to be close to the mines
that are being worked in the moun
tains.
What a W'unuiguii Is.
A wannigau is a fiat-bottomed boat
on which a house is built, according
to the financial ability of the owner,
and many of those iu the We st were
well built and very comfortab^and
cosily furnished. Some stand high
above the river at its ordinary stage,
and in case of high water are sup
posed to float. Others were built be
low the bank near the waters edge
and raised several feet by means of
blocks and posts. With the water
very near the flooxs no danger was
apprehended by the occupants, but
the current brought down logs aud
debris.
Yesterday the frail underpinnings
on one side of some half dozen wan-
nigans were knocked out, and they
ignominioiisly toppled over in the
water, piling furniture, crockery aud
occupants in confusion. Then the
water came in and added to the work
of destruction. The wannigans might
have floated on an even keel, but they
were never built to be launched with
only half the ways knocked out. — r$t.
Paul Pioneer Press.
A Bogus Coffee.
Says a man who has been down in
Mexico: “The mesquite bean that
grows so rank in Mex'co, Texas and
New Mexico is a ‘dead ringer’ for
coffee when parched and ground. I
have a friend who has gone down on
the Rio Grande and is flooding the
market with this spurious coffee. It
looks and smells exactly like the genu
ine Java before it is boiled, and the
most experienced cotiee buyer is liable
to be deceived in it. I am told mat
coffee dealers are buying this stuff and
mixing it with their ground coflee,
like some grocers sand tlicir sugar.
The surest way to get pure cotiee is to
buy it unparched and unground.”—
[New York Tribune.
Johnny’s Mind Dissatisfied.
Mr. Fizz.etop was under the painful
necessity of administering a severe
castigation to his son Johnny. After
he luyl completed Ids labors he said
sternly to the suffering victim:
“Now tell me why I punished you.”
“That’s it,” sobbed Johnny; “you
nearly pound the life out of me, aud
uow you don’t even know why you
did it.”
The Seng of the Rain.
It’s rain, rain, rain,
From the sun’s rise till it sets,
And it’s rain, rain, rain.
In all shapes and styles of wet*.
It’s, oh, to be a swan
Or a tish of the humid flood,
For then there weren’t such reoron to kick
At this compound of moist and mud.
“Will it never let up,” we sigh,
It comes down fiercer still
Aud ev’ry drop of a heft and size
To move or drive a mill.
The gutters a foaming sea.
The streets a raging main
And the plashing torrents in liquid notes
Sing: “Rain, rain, rain.”
If Darwin’s doctrine’s true
That nature kindly gives
To man tbe means to adapt himself
To the needs of where he lives,
If the rain keeps up as of late,
Some nigh-by day—who knows?
Just like a duck’s we may start to look
For webs between our toes.
—[Philadelphia Times.
HUMOROUS.
Police headquarters—The helmet.
• The telephone takes everybody’s
word.
Perhaps the best way to teach baby
to walk would be to give it iu charge
of a step-mother.
She (earnestly)—It must beawfully
dangerous to be a soldier. He—It is,
indeed. The women are always after
you.
Aeronaut (just alighting on church
spire)—I’d like to have hold of the
fellow who said there was plenty of
room at the top.
“Love laughs at locksmiths,” she
said to him, encouragingly. “Yes,
darling, I know,” he replied, sadly,
“but not at No. 11 boots.”
A Forcible Argument—Suitor (per
sistently)—Why do you keep me wait
ing so long for an answer? Remem
ber that you are growing older every
minute!
She—I know I’m cross at times,
John, but if I had my life to live over
again, I should marry you just the
same. He—I have my doubts about
that, my dear.
“Doctor,” said the sufferer supinely,
as he dropped into the dentist’s chair,
“my nerve is completely gone.” “Oh,
no, it is’nt,” was the cheerful reply.
“Wait till I get a firm hold aud you’ll
realize your mistake.”
“Charlie,” said Maude, “papa don’t
like you because he says you're ex
travagant in your dress.” “Well, he’s
mistaken. Just tell ycur father I
haven’t paid a tailor’s bill for two
years,” retorted Charlie.
New Cook—I’m told the missus
wants things in th’ high-toned fash
ionable style. Sure, I’m afraid I
won’t suit, for it’s only plain cookin'
I’ve done. Old Cook—It’s aisy
enough. Make iverything taste like
something ilse.
A Lake Which Ebbs and Flows.
Judge C. F. Lott, one of the most
careful observers in Butte, Montana,
lately said: “Years ago a party of us
camped on the bank of a deep, clear
lake iu Lassen county, near its eastern
boundary. Having quartered our ani
mals at the lake, wo picketed them tor
the night and we lay down to sleep.
About 10 o’clock, or a little later,when
the guards were changed, one of them
went down to the lake to get some
water. In a moment or two he came
running back, declaring the water had
disappeared. lie woke us up, telling
of the strange fact, and several of the
party went with him to the edge of
the now empty chasm.
“It was a deep, rocky basin, with
immense bowlder® in the bottom, but
there was not a drop of water in what
a few hours before was a lake fully a
quarter of a mile long. Just before
sunrise the following morning two of
us who were on watch heard the
water returning. We observed it with
much interest, and before breakfast
the lake was half full. By 9 o’clock,
when we resumed our journey, the
water had all returned, and the lake
was filled to the brim. The water
disappeared and returned through
several fissures in the deep bottom of
the lake, but none of us were able to
account for the strange phcuomcnon.”
— [Oroviilc (Cal.) Register.
Weak-Kneed “Bad Men.”
“Don’t talk to me about your ‘bad
men’ and your ‘killers’,” said Hal
Ronse of Texas, at the Lindell. “I
have been among the very worst on
the border, and, while I don’t want to
appear as a boaster or a fighter, I
never have yet seen one of them that I
was the least bit afraid of. They are
nearly all cowards and assassins, and
all a man needs to protect himself or
liis interests among them is a little
pistol and a steady nerve. The aver
age so-called ‘killer’ in Texas and
throughout the West is a cur who has
made his reputation by shooting poor
devils in the back or taking advantage
of an unarmed man. The}' murder a
tenderfoot on the prairies as they
shoot down a bufl'alo, and at about the
same distance, too. and they delight
iu a bar-room brawl among them
selves when they know no one is going
to got hurt, because one is as big a
coward as the other and each man is
afraid to shoot first. The fact is, I
had rathor face a dozen of these
Western ‘killers’ at once than one of
those quiet, determined meu in the
large cities of the country.”—[St.
Louis Globc-Democrat. I