Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

In (be United States the annual pro* daction of paper has reached the enor* mous total of three billion pounds. Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes says that if nine-tenths of the medicines in the world were thrown into the ocean Tnaukind would be greatly benefited. The Boston Cultivator avers that the Province of Newfoundland is more inclined to this country than any other in the Canadian dominion. Rightly managed, believes the San Francisco Examiner, a crop-insurance company could be made an important force in improving the quality of our farming. The population of Wiscoasin, Min- nesoia and the two Dakotas is largely made up of Germans and Scandinavi ans—all non-English speaking people, according to the Argonaut A philological statistician calculates that in the year 2000 there will be 1,700,000,00 people who speak Eng lish. and that other European languages will be spoken by only 500,000,000 people. The New York Comercial Adver tiser notes that ‘-Kentucky is waking up to a realization of the importance of public eduation, and the number of new schools and school buildings is rapidly increasing.” Balmaceda, the President of Chili, is having newspaper men shot at a rapid rate. He probably agrees with Napoleon, suggests the Atlanta Con stitution, that four hostile newspapers are more to be dreaded than a hundred thousand bayonets. Says the New York News: The sig nificant fact is stated that the sales of State and railroad bonds during the ■first half of this year decreased nearly $104,000,000. The financial situation is such as to justify no new projects, and a curtailment in the demand upon the steel-rail mills, which is always a measure of prosperity, is noticeable. Four new Norwegiau railways are proposed by King Oscar’s ministers to cost over one hundred million kroner, but the Government is not in a hurry. It is not going to build them all at once. Something like thirty years will, it thinks, be about the time it should take to finish the job with an annual outlay of three or four million kroner.' The Thing is yet to pass upon the plan. According to an eminent statistician the world has^ Lijg®. In the CUe- -five were tortured to death, 134 were assassinated and 108 were executed. A singular case was recently ad judicated in the sheriff’s court, Dum fries, Scotland. Twenty-five dollars was awarded as damages against a woman who had slandered another by a letter referring her to 1 Cor. 6: 10, in token of love for her soul’s ever- laftnig welfare, the implication being that she was a thief. “Tho sword of 4*e Spirit,” remarks the New York Observer, “was evidently not wielded by the hand of charity in this in stance. ” The growth of Canada is shown in the remark of a bank manager at a recent meeting. He said: “Thirty- five years is not a very long time in the history of a country. Bat I have seen the deposits of Canada grow from $15,000,000 on the best day of 1855 to $220,000,000 on the best day of 1890.” Evidently the financial condition of the country on our north ern border, comments the New Orleans Timcs-Deinocrat, is far from being desperatO; The enormous commercial develop ment of the United States can bo in ferred from the growth of the post- -office business. Take, for instance, the New York office. Its receipts -duiing the year ending March Slst last were $G.365,383, an increase of $515,310 over the preceding year; Chicago’s receipts were $3,422,406, an increase of $308,365, while Philadel phia, Boston, St. Louis and Washing ton showed increases respectively of $189,972, $125,126, $106,410 and $103,200. San Francisco’s receipts were $731,077. an increase of $44,192. The Superior Court of New York has affirmed a judgment for $436.67 obtained by Clarence A. Parsons against Charles Robinson for breach of contract. Parsons agreed to watch the stock market for Robinson and let him know when there was a good thiiifr. Th«*v were to divide the profits. J'arsons on October 5, 1886. told Robinson to buy 500 reorganization trust of the Texas Pacific Railroad, and he did so. The investment was profitable, but Robinson refused to divide. Judge Gilderslecve, writing the general term opinion, says: “Re liable information as to facts upon which the future price of a stock would depend is a sufficient considera tion to uphold a contract in relation to £uch stock.” Says Richard D. Blackmore, the English novelist: “Anything more absurd than our novelistic portrait of the ‘Yankee’ could scarcely be pro duced. I know many American gen tlemen; not on3 of them differs from us, except that, as a rule, they are more intelligent” Some years ago, recalls the New Orleans Picayune, it was shown by exhaustive inquiries that in the lesser colleges $1800 a year was the average salary of a professor. Columbia paid $7500. Harvard and Johns Hopkins $5000. Yale was endeavoring to reach this mark. The maximum at the Uni versity of Pennsylvania, Amherst, Williams and other institutions of the same grade was $3000. At Ann Ar bor, Mich., $2500, and so on down to $1000, and even less in the small in stitutions. The Chicago Herald declares the most important improvements in prac tical medicine in the United States of late years have been in surgery in its various branches. Tins country has led the way in the ligation of some of the larger arteries, in the removal of abdominal tumors, in the treatment of diseases and injuries peculiar to women and of spinal aflections, as well as deformities of various kinds. Above all, we were the first to show the use of anaesthetics—the most im portant advance made during the cen tury. Last year Norway increased her sailing fleet by about G6.821 tons, partly by purchase of old vessels from Great Britain, which finds a ready market for her worn-out craft among the Scandinavians. Cheaper labor in Norway, aptitude for the sea and con tentment with small profits and poor fare, observes the New York Mail and Express, account in part for the fact that the Norwegians are able to materially increase their sailing fleet, and in proportion as they do it this affects the chances of American ves sels to obtain paying freights. An apprenliceage of boys to actual farm work and management would be much more effective, maintains the New York Tribune, than is possible in a land-grant “university,” where most of the students look on and laugh while others labor. Agricultural schools cannot do what is so greatly desired of them, or be anything of a success as such, until they stand alone and are officered by practical as well as otherwise capable men, each indus trious in his specialty and devoted to it, while at the same time a naturally good leader and guide of youth. io super- io'Australian Geographical Society, recently left Adelaide. D. Lindsay is the commander-in-chief. Leaving the Peake, a station to the west of Lake Eyre in southern Aus tralia, the party will proceed to the Everard Ranges, and thence strike out into the unknown territory between tracks taken by the parties led by Gosse in 1873, by Forest in 1874, and by Giles in 1876. The country represents a tract 1300 miles in length, with an average width of about 300 or 350 miles. Then the explorers will pro ceed northward to the Fitzroy, going up between the tracks of Giles in 1876 and War bur ton in 1873—a strip of country roughly estimated to be 900 miles in length and 200 in width. In the exploration of the Kimberly coun try, horses instead of camels will be used. The next move will be into the Northern Territory, whence the expe dition is expected to return to Adelaide. A Tribute to the Sheaves. All day the reapers ou the bill Have piled their task with sturdy will. But now the field is void and still; And. wandering thither, I have found The bearded spears in sheaves well bound, And stocked in many golden mound. And while cool evening suavely grows. And o’er the sunset’s dying rose The first great white star throbs and glows. And from the clear east, red of glare. The ascendant harvest moon floats fair Through dreamy deeps and purple air. And in among the slanted sheaves A tender light its glamour weaves, A lovely light that lures, deceives— Then swayed by Fancy’s dear command. Amid the past I seemed to stand, In hallowed Bethlehem’s harvest land! And through the dim field, vague descried, A homeward host of shadows glide. And sickles gleam on every side. Shadows of man and maid I trace, With shanes of strength and shapes of grace, Yet gaze but on a single face— A candid brow, still smooth with youth; A tranquil smile; a mien of truth— The patient, star-eyed gleaner, Ruth! . —[Edgar Fawcett. DAPPLE’S MISTRESS. BY EMMA G. JONES. A Pure Air Indicator. One of the many curiously devised instruments patented during the last few years is an apparatus for measur ing the amount of impure air which may gather in a room within a given length of time. This odd machine “ev- oluted” from the fertile brain of Pro fessor Wolpert of Nuremberg, Ger many. It is well known that air is very poisonous to the human system when the carbonic acid gas in the air exceeds 1 part in 1000. In order to test the matter and tell exactly when the one-thousandth part limit has been reached^ Dr. Wolpert has provided an instrument or appa ratus consisting of a vessel containing a solution of soda and phenolphtha- lein, from which, every 100 seconds, three emerges a red drop through a syphon, which is so arranged as to travel down along a prepared white thread about a foot and a half in length. Behind the thread is a scale beginning with “pure air” (up to 0.7 per 1000), at the bottom, and ending above with “extremely bad” at the top. In pure air the drop continues red down t<> the bottom, but it loses its color by the action of the carbonic acid gas; the sooner the more there is of that gas present. — [St. Louis Re public. Had Never Been Told So Before, j Couvict—Excuse me. ma’am, you ( dropped your handkerchief. Lady Visitor—Thank you; you are very good. Convict (eagerly)—Say. ma’am, you couldn’t manage to persuade tke Gov*; ’nor of that, somehow, could yer [Somerville Journal. “Stop, Dapple; we must look to this.” The scene was a green stretch of summer lawn in front of a fine old Virginia farm house; the speaker a slight, bright-faced girl, gracefully mounted on a small, gray pony. The sun was dropping out of sight behind the green hills, and far away, down the silver bend of the Accoceek came the tramp of retreating troops, with now and then the muffled roll of a drum or the shrill bray of a bugle. Old Virginia, the queen-mother of the sunny South, was overrun with soldiers, devastated by fire and sword, shaken to her very foundations by the thunders of civil war. Colonel Moreton was far «wagr from his pleasant home, in the front ranks of death and danger; bat Irene, hfa only child, still braved the terrors of invasion,and remained at the farm house with her invalid mother and a few faithful old servants. Cantering across the grounds, an hour after the retreat of the invading troops, something attracted the young lady’s notice—a prostrate figure under the shade of the great cottonwood tree. “Stop, Dapple, we must look to this!” Dapple stopped and Miss Irene leaped lightly from her saddle, and throwing the silken reins over tho pony’s neck, she went tripping across the grounds to the spot where the figure lay. d m pale, w3rh face, abundance of carting, chest nut hair. Colouel Moreton’s daughter looked down upon the senseless soldier with all her woman’s divine compassion stirring within her bosom. “Poor fellow,” she murmured, lay ing her soft hand upon his brow; “I wish I could help him.” The soft voice and the softer touch called back the veteran’s wandering senses. He opened his eyes and looked up in the young lady’s face. Great, Inminons, handsome eyes they were, that somehow reminded Irene of her brother Tom’s eyes; and Tom was dbwn in the trenches in front of Rich mond. The compassion in her heart stirred afresh; she smoothed back the tangled curls from the soldier’s brow. -My poor fellow,” she said, “can I do anything for you?” He struggled up to his elbow with a stifled groan. “My horse threw me,” he explained, “and they left me behind. I think I must have fainted from the pain. I thank you very much, but I can’t see how you can help me. I suppose l must lie here till they take me prison er, and I’d almost as soou be shot.” Irene smiled, a smile that lighted her dark, bright face into positive beauty. “I am in the enemy’s country,” she said, “but if you will trust me I think I can help you; at least, I will see that you are refreshed and made com fortable.” Sho put her hand to her bosom, and drawing forth a tiny silver whistle she put it to her lips and blew a sharp little blast. Dapple pricked up Ids gray ears and came cantering to her side, followed instantly by a colored man-servant. “You see,” smiled Miss Irene, flash ing a beaming glance on the soldier, “I hold my reserve forces at a rno- meni’a warning. Here, James, help this gentleman to the house, and then ride for Doctor Werter to dress his limb.” James obeyed without a word, and by the time the sun was fairly out of sight tho Union soldier, refreshed and made comfortable, lay asleep in the best chamber of tho pleasant old Southern mansion. Meanwhile, on tho long veranda, Irene kept watch, he alight, willowy figure wrapped in a scarlet mantle, her flossy, raveu tresses floating on the winds. By and by, as tho midnight stars came out and glittered overhead,above the dreamy flow of tho river, above the murmur and rustle of the forest leaves, arose the clash and clang, the roar ami tramp of advancing troops. Irono’s dark face flushed, and her She crossed the step and lapped of her guest’s lustrous eyes dilated!. veranda with a swift / lightly at the door chamber. “They are coming,” she whispered; “they will take you prisoner if you remain. .You inust go.” The soldier started to his feet and made his way^put, but he reeled against the door-pjost, faint and gasp ing for breath. “I cau’t walk!’,* he cried; “there’s no hope of escape!” But Irene held jout her lithe, young arm. “Yea, there is,’V she said,cheerfully. “Lean on me; I c^n help you down, and you shall ride, Dapple. He knows the river-road, anil you shall overtake your comrades jby dawn. Hurry! there is no time t<^ lose!” The soldier leaned upon the brave, helpful young aym, and succeeded in reaching the lawn below. “Dapple!” (the young girl called, in her clear, silver ’SKTes, “come here!” In a breath Dap jle was at her side. The girl stood and “Oh, Dapple, sobbed, “it breaks from you. Good- looked at the gen tle creature, aud tHien threw her arms about his neck. pjretty Dapple,’ my heart to Dapple!” In the next bre her eyes flashing tears. “Come, sir,” sh|c to help you to this gentleman she stood erect, a mist of through said, “allow me mbunt. Dapple, take dqwn the river-road, aud at your utmos t speed.” Dapple uttered but the soldier he utated. “Why, don’t cried the girl, you remain here jiud ruin self and me?” He vaulted into a word. “Away, DapplJj, «ried Irene, and pony shot off like a sagacious whinny, you mount, sir?” impatiently. “Will both your- the saddle without like the wind I” the little mountain an arrow. * * The war was ojrer, and once mox*e over the blasted^a ad desolated homes of Virginia poace and freedom reigned. Captain Rutherford made it his busi ness to go back r.o the Potomac hills, and to Colonel Moreton’s farm-house the moment h|e was discharged from where the stately old d he found nothing but and of Dapple’s mis- ightest tidings could he service; but homestead sto a mass of ruin tress not the obtain. Three years captain found heir of an old un off on a tour amid Dapple went wit did vince t brave little yond reach been the cap panion in all was with him green Tyrol va went by, and the ex self the wealthy and took himself wiss mountains. as he always night when the him safely be- nemy. He had separable com- wanderings. He ambling over the eys and climbing the steep Switzer sleeps. One SeptembeV afternoon, when the captain’s tone drawing to a close, somewhere irt the vicinity of Mont Blanc, he fel)l in with a traveling party from ^[ew Orleans. It con sisted of Madame Lenoir, her son and two daughters,^ and a young American lady who was her companion and in terpreter. Captain Rutherford found madam a charming woman,and while the young persons of the party busied them selves in spreading out a collation under the trees, he lay amid tho long, rustling grasses, wteuing to madam’s pretty feminine (matter, and in his turn relating incidents and reminis cences of his own war experienco for her edification. Among other things he told her of Dapple, and dt his midnight ride among the blue hills of old Virginia. Madam was iatensly interested. “And the gallant little pony carried you sarely through?” she cried, with beaming eyes. “Safely through, madam, with the enemy at my very heels,” replied the captain. “Miss Moiteton,” cried madam, “will you havl the kindness to pass the coffee? A|d pray, Captain Ruth erford, whatewr became of Dapple? he captaiuKaised himself to a sit ting posture. pie,” he called, “come tc rest shadows gray mountain p<o#y “Dapple, D| here!” From the hand a smd came ambling companion, ac ancing with the coftee pot in her slid white hand, uttered a sharp little cr| coffee ou the feet. “Oh, Dapp Dapple heai knew it in an orth. Madam Lenc'V’s and wasted all ustling leaves at , Dapple!” she cried, the sweet voice, and slant He broke into a joyous neig^ and shot like an arrow for the youngiady’s side. She caught his shaggy be d and held it close to her bosom, scobing like the silly child she was. “Oh, Dapie, my pretty Dapple, have I foipd L ou at last?” Madame L aoir, comprehending the denouement, ooked on with glisten ing eyes. Two week; later the pleasant party was breaking up. Madame and her party were giaig back to France. “And nowBrcne,” said the captain, “how is it toft? You will not listen to my salt oiftcept my love? Then vou will be urced to Dart from Dao- ple again. She is mine by the right of possession. I caunot give her up. Come, now, give me your final decision—are you willing to part from me and Dapple forever?” Irene looked up with her old glori fying smile. “I could bear to part from you,” she said, wickedly, “but never again from Dapple. If you take Dapple you will have to take her mistress, too, Captain Rutherford.” And tin captain made no objection. A month later saw Dapple’s mistress his wife.—[New York Weekly. FOB THE HOUSEWIFE. The Foolish Sheep. “No animal that walks on four legs is as big a fool as a sheep,” says a sheep raiser. “We have to watch them every minute and if vigilance is relaxed for an instant the entire flock is likely to practically commit suicide. In handling most animals some degree of self-help or intelligence can be re lied on to aid the owner in saving their lives, but sheep seem to set de liberately to work to kill themselves. If caught in a storm on the plains they will drift before the wind and die of cold and exposure rather than move 100 yards to wiudward to obtain shelter in their corral. To drive sheep against the wind is absolutely impossiole. I onca lost over 1000 head because I could not drive them .to a corral not 200 feet away. In the corral they are still more foolish. If a storm comes up they all move ‘down wind’ until stopped by the fence. Then begins the proceedings so much dreaded by sheepmen, kuowu as ‘p.ling.’ The sheep will climb over each other’s backs until they are heaped up ten feet high. Of course, all those at the bottom are smothered. Not one has sense enough to seek shelter under the lee of the fence, as a horse or dog would do. Again, if a sheep gets into a quicksand its fate teaches nothing to those who come immediately after, but the whole flock will follow its leader to destruction. No more exas- peratingly stupid brute than a sheep walks.”—[San Francisco Chronicle. EASIEST WAY TO CLEAN LACE, An old lace maker, who has woven many a gossamer web for that connois seur of laces, Mme. Modjeska, and has taught the fair actress to fashion some of the daintiest patterns her deft fin gers delight in doing, gives this sim ple receipt for lace-cleaning: Spread the lace out carefully on wrapping paper, then sprinkle it care fully with calcined magnesia; place another paper over it and put it away between the leaves of a book for two or three days. All it needs is a skil ful shake to scatter the white powder and then it is ready for wear, with slender threads intact and as fresh as when new.—[New York Herald. A Wooden Tea Service. County Commissioner Tolman has a most unique tea service. It includes not only the usual articles of a set— the tray, platter, butter dish, sugar bowl, cream pitcher, cup and saucer— but also a caster, supplied with the usual cruets—the whole made of wood. Two kinds of wood, black walnut and white wood, were em ployed in their manufacture, and the contrasted colors, which appear iueven the covers of dishes aud tops of cruets, have a beautiful efiect.—The, ghalo. service is as useful as any made of crockery, and was the work of a skilled woodworker while confined in the county jail for drunkenness. He agreed to make them for Mr. Tolman if the latter would furnish the mate rial. The wood of which they are made cost Mr. Tolman $8.—[Port land Argus. Unprogressire Mexico. A recent traveller in Mexico says the natives are unwilling to adopt modern ways, and it is nearly impossible to make them change. An Englishman engaged in mining put up a hoisting plant, bat found at once that it was money thrown away, as the workmen would not consent to its use. They had long been accustomed to carry the ore in sacks supported by a broad can vas baud passing over their fore heads, and to receive so much for it at the mouth of the shaft. To get it there an ascent of over 200 feet had to be made by means of ladders, and ac cordingly progress was very slow. But nothing would induce them to use the hoisting machinery, and it had to be abandoned, every man working in the old fashion.—[Chicago Herald. A Honeymoon Episode. They had been married but two months, and they still loved each other devotedly (I am not describing an in cident in France). He was in the back yard blacking his shoes. (In fact, the incident occurred in Chicago —if it had been in New York of course they would be living about seven stories up in a flat.) “Jack,” she called at the top of her voice, “Jack, come here, quick.” He knew at once that she was in im minent danger. He grasped a club and rushed up two flights of stairs to the rescue. lie entered the room breathlessly and found her looking out of the window. “Look,” said she, “that’s the kind of a bonnet I want you to get me.”— [Brooklyn Life. To Use Molasses for Fuel. The large crop of sugar which Louisiana is raising this year has greatly complicated the problem as to what to do with the molasses. There will be 700,000 barrels, or 27,000,000 gallons, or 300,000,000 pounds of molasses which the planters do not know how to get rid of. The output of molasses in Louisiana is now so great that there Is no market for the lower grades. The Planter, the organ of the sugar interests here, pro poses that the molasses should be used for fuel in the sugarhouses in place of coal. It calculates that molasses would be much cheaper than the cheapest coal, and would be a good fuel.—[Chicago Herald. EAKTHEXWARE IN COOKING. The flavor of food baked or boiled in earthenware is said by those who have made the experiment to be far superior to that of vegetable or ani mal food cooked in the same w ay in iron vessels, for the reason that iron is a conductor of heat, while earthen ware is a non-conductor; consequently, food eooked in the latter is rarely ever burned, the degree of heat not varying perceptibly during the process of cooking, thus preserving the flavor of what is cooked, as well as uni formity throughout the substance of the meat, vegetables or grains, until the process of cooking is completed. So earthen ware takes the premium, as it deserves to, and those who have found out how much better they can do their cooking in these vessels than in ironware, give pots and kettles a cold shoulder often.—[Boston Cultivator. TAKING CARE of THE STOVES. This is the season when the stoves of the household,with tho possible ex ception of the cooking stove, where that has not been superceded by the gasoline burner, are out of use for a season, but the certainty that they will soon be required again should keep them from being neglected. As soon as the season for fires has passed, if they are removed they should be stored in a dry place; the pipes and elbows should be well cleaned out and cared for, otherwise holes may be rusted through them iu a single sea son. All the sheet-iron work about stoves of any and every description should be cleaned up and either be kept blackened and pol ished or be oiled to prevent rust. For the cheap circular heat ing stoves one rubbiug of kerosene will be sufficient if stored in a dry place, bat if put in the cellar, as they sometimes are, severaljdiHfg3‘ , ^j'if "be" necesSary* 'TBTSTTgti The season. The brick linings that have become cracked or broken can often be repaired with fire-clay cement with but little trouble aud so as to make them serviceable for a very considerable time. Much subsequent annoyance may be saved by keeping all the separate parts of stoves together when storing them away, so that none shall be mislaid or lost at the time they are wanted.— [New York World. RECIPES. Sherbet—Crush a quart of straw, berries or other small fruit to a paste; add three pints of water and the juice of a lemon. Let the mixture stand two or three hours, then strain through a cloth to clear of seeds; add three- fourths of a pound of sugar, and stir until dissolved; add ice, and drink when quiie cold. It is very delicious. Bread Padding—Four good-sized slices of stale bread soaked, then squeezed dry, add one pint of milk, two eggs, beaten light, sugar, salt and nutmeg to the taste. The milk is added last. Bake twenty minutes, or until a knife can bo run through clear, as in custard. Make a sauce of butter and sugar rubbed together aud flavored with lemon. Serve hot. Angels’ Food—Whites of eleven eggs beaten very light, one and one- half goblets of powdered sugar sifted twelve times, one goblet of flour sifted twelve times, one teaspoonful of cream tartar sifted into the flour, or juice of part of a lemon. Do not butter the tin you bake in, or very slightly. When done turn wrong side up and let it sweat itself out. Bake 40 min utes in a slow oven. Tapioca Jelly—One cupful of tapi oca, four cupfuls of cold water, juice of a lemon and part of a rind; sweet en to suit the taste. Soak tapioca in the water four hours. Set within a saucepan of boiling water, and stir frequently. If too thick after it be gins to clear, add a little boiling water. Add rind and juice of lemon when quite clear, and pour into a mould. To be eaten cold with cream. It is also very nice flavored with orange. Stewed Cauliflower—Use for this dish any cauliflower; the smaller and less perfect plants are as good cooked in this manner. Cut them into small clusters and lay in cold salt and water for half an hour before cooking. Then stew in hot water until tender—about twenty minutes. When done turn oft nearly all the water, adding butter, pepper, and salt and cream or milk j enough to make a nice sauce, a littic bit of flour—very little if milk is used. Let boil ap gently and take up in a hot dish. If not served immediately, keep hot, but not boiling. Twenty I ears Ago. How wondrous are the changes Since twenty years ago When girls wore woolen dresses And boys wore pants of tow, Aud shoes were made of cowhide And socks of homespun wool, And children did a halfday’s work Before they went to school. The people rode to meeting In sleds instead of sleighs. And wagons rode as easy As buggies nowadays. And oxen answered well for teams, Tho’ now they’d be too slow, For people lived not half so fast Some twenty years ago. Oh, well do I remember The Wilson patent stove, That father bought and paid for In cloth the girls had wove And all the neighbors wondered How we got the thing to go, They said ’twould burst and kill us all Some twenty years ago. The girls took music lessons Upon the spinning wheel And practiced late and early At spindle, swifts and reel. The boys would ride the horse to mill • A dozen miles or so, And hurry off before ’twas day, Some twenty years ago. Yes, everything has altered so I cannot tell the cause,. For men are always tampering With nature’s wondrous laws. And what on earth we’re coming to, Does anybody know? For everything has changed so much Since twenty years ago. —[John Doe. HUMOROUS. Have the grip—Bulldogs. Sound asleep—The man who snores. The end of a long strike—A home run. Royal rakes bring a lot of rubbish to the surface. Pat says: “Love is that tinder loike* it do be asily kindled.” According to history Pocahontaa didn’t believe in clubs. She prevented Capt. Smith from joining one. “You talk a great deal in your sleep, John,” said Mrs. Henpeck. “It’s the only chance I get,” said John, meekly. There are a good many “high-fliars” iu Chicago. But tho fellow who/has invented the new flying machine is! not one of them. / “A proposal,” mused Yan Jenkins “amonuts to a man’s saying /Wilt thou?’ interrogatively and a girl’i put ting it imperatively.” Mistress (benevolently to aid in anticipation of a complii What would you do if you coj the piano as well as I can? should take lessons. First ^onng-fcacfy—Do you always -btiy two kinds of paper? Second Young Lady—Always. You see when I write to Charlie I use red paper, which means love; when I answer Jim’s let ters I use blue paper, which means faithful unto death. See. “I can’t understand your father, Marie. He doesn’t like me any better than he did at first, and has always treated me as if I was a blockhead.’' “I know, Tom, it’s too bad, but it takes poor father such a long time to get over first impressions.” Railway Official—Smoking not al lowed in the waiting-room, sir. You’ll have to go out to the platform. Mr. McFinigan—I’m not smokin’, sir. “But you have your pipe in your mouth, sir.” “Yis, an’ I have me fut in me boot, but I’m not walkin’.” A woman like a clock? No—n o! You’d not say that if oft you’d met them. A clock serves to point out the hours, But a woman makes us all forget them. Washing Away the Earth. A French geologist made a careful calculation of the amount of solid matter yearly carried off into the ocean by tho action of the rivers of the world and other causes. He esti mates that the reduction of the aver age height of the surface of the solid land is 0.006 inches each year. Making allowance for the corresponding rise in the bed of the ocean, and taking no account of the occurrence of volcanic aud other exceptional phenomena— the general tendency of which is to hasten the process of disintergration— the period at which the solid land wilt have ceased to exist and the surface of the earth will be covered with water has been estimated. As, how ever, that period is 4,500,000 years distant, the prediction need cause no immediate disquietude. — [Pittsburg Dispatch. Captive Balloons. One of the curious results cf the financial success of the Eiffel tower in Paris has been the institution of a portable captive balloon society. The projectors argue that there is evidently a latent passion in the human breast to ascend to high elevations and gaze upon extended views, and they pro pose to travel throughout the country with captive balloons capable of lift ing spectators to a height one-third greater than that of tho Paris tower. They calculate that each balloon will be able to make 36 ascents a day, and that great profits will accure from a tariff of $2 a head-—[Chicago Herald. Answered. “What would you do if you had a voice like mine?” said Binks, who is rather proud of his basso profundo. “I’d take it out into the woods and yell with it till it bu’st,” said De Garry, who prefers his own teuor.— [Harper’s Bazar.