Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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tumorous Department. Just Like That.?Mr. George Robey, the English actor and raconteur, tells the story of a gilded youth of effemin. ate tendencies who by some fluke of luck found himself stony broke. De/ elding that his best bet was America, he tried for a job on one of the boats , crossing the Atlantic. After being turned down by ship after ship he almost despaired of ever getting out of England. Finally his luck changed. He struck a boat on the poin? of sailing and found that a stpker had failed to show up. Joyfully, he signed on, t j 1 KAlonr went anoara, aim was uucttiu utn'n by the captain. Then he disappeared. Nothing was seen or heard of him for three days. But on the fourth day the skipper suddenly came upon a resplendent figure in full yaching kit, glasses slung over his shoulder, promt nading. "What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded. "I thought I told you to go below." The regilded youth gazed at the irate officer, tapped him lightly on the shoulder, and pleasantly inquired, "Oh, haven't you heard? I've left."?The Argonaut (San Francisco). Long Distance.?A railway employe was in the witness box, and was being cross-examined by a very self-important young lawyer about a case which had resulted in a damage suit as a consequence of an accident on the railroad. "You say that you saw this man fall from the train?" said the lawyer. "I saw him fall, yes," replied the railway man. "Yet it was night time," insisted the lawyer. "And you were at one end of the train and the man was at the other. Do you expect an intelligent jury to believe such a yarn? How far cr.n you see at night?" "About a million miles, I think," re plied the railway man. "i can see ine moon. How far is that?" The lawyer retired.?Houston Post. Her Kind Heart.?The dear old Scotchwoman tramped miles over the hills to get a bottle of medicine for a small boy who was ill in. her remote village. When she had described the symptoms, the doctor set about preparing the mixture, one ingredient of which a poison which could be administered only in the smallest quantities. She watched him pouring it out wiin the utmost care into the measuring glass. He poured a little from the bottle, held the glass up to the light, and then put in a few more drops. "Ah. doctor," she said reproachfully, "you needna be sae stingy. Remember, it's for a puir wee orphan laddie."?The Argonaut (San Francisco). TL- *...*..1 T.??K?"Vrt,. lnnV fpH I no nwiui i wki'i A vw .ww.. .-x. up, old man." "Yes, I've had a tiring day. That little beast of an office-boy of mine came to me with the old gag about getting off for his grandmother's funeral, so just to teach him a lesson I said I would accompany him." "Ah, not so bad; was it a good game?" "Xo, it was his grandmother's funeral!"?The Passing Show (London). Identified.?A man called at a village post-office for a registered letter which he knew would bd awaiting him. The letter was there, but the clerk demurred at handing it over, as he had no means of identifying the caller. The caller took a photograph oj himself from his oocket, remarking: "I think that ought to satisfy you as to who I am." The clerk looked long and earnestly at the portrait, and then said: "Yes. that's all right enough. Here's your letter."?Kansas City Star. t Pure Politics.?"And whom did you vote for, Miss Sophy?" "Well, you see, the Conservative candidate was simply stunningly goodlooking. But the Liberal had always been splendid to his family, so I mark C<1 DOtn DailOtB, Ciosea niy e.vcs, Biimfled them, put one in the box and tore up the other. Nothing could be fairer than that."?The Passing Show (London). A Question of Genealogy.?Robert Stevens?"I've a question to ask you." I.eo Besselman?"All right, shoot." Robert?"If a boy is a lad, and the lad has a stepfather " l /doftnltr ?'4r,n fin." 1AO n?v. v?>v_, " Robert (walking slowly away)? "Does that make the lad a stepladder?"?The Christian Evangelist (St. Louis). Qualified.?"What profession i3 your boy Josh going to select?" "I'm going to educate him to he a lawyer," replied Farmer Corntossel. "He's naturally argumentative an' bent on mixin' into other people's troubles an* he might jes' as well get paid fur his time."?Washington Evening Star. Superprohibition.?"I hope that the fact that the wets showed strength in your State does not affect your belief that prohibition needs enforcement." "It needs more than that in some unregenerate districts," replied Senator Sorghum. "it needs reinforcement."?Nashville Evening Star. Cruel Skeptic. ? Magistrate ? "Last time you were here I told you I hoped never to see you again." Delinquent?"Yes, sir, I know, sir? but I couldn't get the constable to believe me:"?The Passing Show (London)". Such is Man.?When he is born, his mother gets the attention: at his marriage. the bride gets it; at his funeral, the widow gets it.?The Associated Editors. OH, FOR if' i sz*s-s i m -V/' And vet t I HE CLIMBED I I ?*? DOWNr j Jacque^j Christmas. Eleanor 'S^rM VUTUN NrViPAfll UNION ?/.r~??| BLIZZARD was brewing MAI Little cutting pieces of snow were being blown in whirl; j around corners and dowrj j mShpHH the street. Huddled dowrj ^ ^^0 in his coat stood a newsboj jjraWSt of some eight or nine years i His face was drawn with tin; cold and he beat his hands against j : his sides to keep them warm. Last-minute Christmas shoppers, ! hurrying along to get their various errands dene, gave no thought to th< j little fellow who pestered them with' his papers. lie ought to have known j ; better when they had so many thing* i to think about. "Yeh, all the news?the latest news j Won't cha buy one, mister? I onlj l. mrn-a" I To lnnboil 11T , liU>C 11 Ul'Ut. AAV* iVVWV- x.t pleadingly Into tlie face of a passer j by. "Sorry, sonny," smiled the man,' "got one here now that I probablj won't ever get a chance to read?sc busy," and he hurried along his way.1 The rush of pedestrians subsided a moment. The boy singled out a young woman, as he said, "She looks kind I'll try her." "Yeh?all the latest news?just out ?won't elm buy one, please, lady: I only have a few." She opened her purse and started to hunt for the money. "I've just got to sell these papers .( out early tonight, 'cause it's my last chance to buy that doll. You know, my little sister, they say, isn't very well, and the only thing she says she j wants is an orange for Christmas, but j i I know better." He paused for breath.1 THE DAYS OF CH & I c } hay sny "There ain't no Sai IIGHT ?*> I [HE CHIMNEY | She Opened Her Purse. "She wants a (loll, hut she thinks she can't ask for it 'cause we haven't money for (lolls. I lmve, though," he said promptly. "I've been watching a doll in cue of the windows here. I'm going by tonight and get It." "What is your naine, son?" "Jacques and my sister's?ma petite soeur?Marthe." ' "Zshack??What a queer?" "No; it isn't," he said, anticipating WJlilL MK" ?.U1IJ& 111 ?iiy. .li.V mother is French. Those names are beautiful?to us," he added after a pause. "Where do you live, Jacques?" "Sixt.v-n no Kensington Square. Top floor, hack- two rooms, I've got that down pat now. 1 aven't I?" "Yes, you won't get lost right soon," she replied as she p-it her arm around him, and gave him a gentle tap on the shoulder. "Merry Christmas, Jacques," and she was on her way. She stopped a little way down the street, however, wrote something down, th.Tt hurried on. Another half hour found Jacques hugging un orange and a little doll under his cout as he trudged along home. When he opened the door a little voice started chanting, "Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques?you're late tonight." "Yes, Martlie. Today I was talking to' Santa on the corner, and he said he was awfully busy. lie doubted if he would get all around this year." "Oh I" said Martlie in a disappointed toue. ILDHOOD: *'t. 4< ;wv y , v a / i ^ A.J? ^ TREMB/VTHi . /"?! ??? ira t^iaus i Jacques' mother was sewing busily upon a garment she was intent upon finishing. Tomorrow was Christmas, His Mother Was Just as Excited as He. and no sewing was going to be left over to bother her. Marthe's bedtime came, and Jacques fixed his presents In preparation for the morrow. He had found a Christmas tree branch in the street, and this he made into a little tree UDder which he placed his gifts. Christmas morning dawned brightly in the little French home. Jacques' surprise was complete, for Marthe went Into raptures over the tree and her presents. She alternately hugged and kissed her doll, keeping up a constant chatter to it In French. The orange and a few other presents that she had found under the tree she put on the shelf, so that she could admire them while she rocked her doll. Jacques ^d had; his surprise, too? "Give and it .shall be given unto you" ?lor his two packets under the tree had grown to be six or seven. "Mother," he said, "I think I will have to try my new mittens and see exactly how warm they are." So saying, he slipped into his coat and pushed on the door. What ailed It? Was it frozen shut, stuck, or what was the mutter'.' With his mother's help the door was opened. To their surprise they found that a huge pile of packages had been the cause of their trouble. Jacques gave a cry 01 aeiignt ns he pounced upon the bundles. His mother was Just as excited as he, as she helped carry In the stuff. Then fol owed one of the happiest hours the family hud ever known? ; whole two-dozen oranges and all sorts of wholesome food. Jacques' mother fairly wept with joy. > Santa remembered us after all, mother," said little Jacques, "and he left this note on one of my presents. . Look, mother, It says:? " 'I hope you will always be as i thoughtful of your sister, Jacques. A ' Merry Chrlstmns and a Bright and Huppy New Year. 'SANTA CLAUS.'" j ? FJ. T. E. Neuburger, acting post1 master of Spartanburg, was arrested I , Saturday on a warrant charging him with having made a false affidavit in order to secure a registration certilicate. Neuburger was appointed, acting postmaster upon the expiration of : ?U .. 1 ? ? n4 LVl.rt Tbrt UK* t*i til i;i i Ud'.iiiusici r iim:. i nv warrant was issued on the affidavit of J. Adam Crews, for many years an employe of the office, and said to l>e of Republican affiliation in politics. It is alleged that at the lime Neubergcr swore he was a citizen of Spartanburg he was in reality a citizen of (ilen Falls, ' New York. Neuberger ' says that tl.e warrant was sworn out for political purposes. j ?Christmas turkeys are said to be plentiful in Greenwood at 30 cents a 1 pound. ^V.NV.V.V.'uV.VAV.Wrt^ j \ The Minister and : | the "Vamp" |i By Miry Grihim Bonner Ja fw.V.V.V/.'.V.V.VV.'.V.VArf ((?), Western Newspaper Union.) VTOW the minister wns young and I enthusiastic and eager. He loved his work, he loved tlie parish. lie loved the people. They were a bit too talkative at times. They did enjoy telling : him just how he should preach and act and think and do. But It was all so well meaning that it failed to annoy him. Sometimes when he might have , been annoyed he became amused. In! stead. It was so much the better way. The minister was extremely attrao tlve. Every woniun In the parish knew that. Every man admired the minister, too. His was a most engaging personality. But things became a trifle awkward when It appeared as though the minister could not talk to any one of the opposite sex for more than ten minutes without urousing observations. And how weary he did get of being told he mustn't take the last piece of cake In a dish. It was so tiresome a bit of so-called witticism. He realized that It might be difficult for a minister to be permitted to choose a wife for himself. He somehow had a new admiration for ministers who appeared to have done their own matrimonial choosing. He feared that one might even take almost anyone to dodge the constant comments and chatter on mutrlmony which an unmarried man seemed to encounter. And then the minister fell in lovel Oh, madly and rapturously in love. And with a girl from out-of-town whom people said was not the type for a minister's wife, at all, at all. And the minister had said he hadn't looked for j a type, he had picked out the one he j had carec? for. He even heard people whispering , the word "vamp." "A vamp who had t He Came Into the Chapel and Told of ! His Engagement. T ensnared him," someone said. He in- f I quired the various definitions of the , word "vamp." He almost failed to be | amused; lie became so angry. And f tills was the Joyous Christmas season \ when love and good will should hove ^ been In the hearts of his people! A man told him a "vamp" was a dan- t gerous delight. I A woman told him a "vamp" was a j woman without principle. \ A young boy told him a "vamp" was : a misunderstood, Innocent lady with ^ sense enough to appreciate that "men" , I of seventeen were not ehlldred. An oculist told him that a "vamp" < was an adept at the possible uses of t j the eye muscles. An old man said a "vamp" was a , dear little girl. And a mother told him a "vamp" s was n dangerous creature from whom ? ' every mother should keep a son as j from a deadly poison. A young girl told him she envied a i "vamp" and wished she could he called one. And a father told liira that a "vamp" j was one from whom It is best to keep j away tlie son, but whose society it !? j was all right for an older man to en- -j | joy. 'j He sought the dictionary's version { and found "Vamp" described as dealing with such things as feet, short ntit-fc nf hnnts nnrl ehnps milstc. .S and various other things. { They were making the Christinas 3 ; decorations for the church when the minister came into the chapel and told them all of Ids engagement. *l "The wedding is to be on Christmas eve," he said. jt Everyone stopped winding ground .* pine and looked amazed. They mutI tered congratulations, and then the .j future wife appeared and worked with | them. J And then they till began to feel bet- !jj I ter. For while they had been gossip- $ Ing anil quarreling pettily as they had .* worked, the future wife of the minister brought with her the spirit of the -j Christmas season. Perhaps she wasn't a typical wife for a minister they con- i eluded, but she was an ideal wife for $ I a minister. j i For she lived and breathed good- ? will and eheer and her gaiety fresh- {' | ened the very atmosphere oi' the place | and gave them new incentive. y The minister cnlled her his "vamp!" X Ilis definition of one was: ',y "A Merry Christmas in real life!'' X ! ?-? ! ?A contract has been let tor the y j erection of 100 cottages for operatives.!] I at Lockhart mills. I $ c " GREAT "MERCHAN This photograph of John Wana fore his death, shows the great men many friends in the autumn of hi3 1 July 11, and until his fatal illness establishments in Philadelphia and Philadelphia, the son of a "German fc foundation for his great fortune and was twelve years old. The first n turning over a row of bricks in the SOUTH CAROLINA NEWS ?i Mrs. 13. IL Tillman, widow of the ater senator, is critically ill at her lome at Trenton. ? The Southern depot at Prosperity, dewberry county, was destroyed by ire last Thursday. * ? Erskine College and the Due West 'emale College suspended, work last, veek, a week ahead of time because io many of the students and teachers ? verc sick with flu and'other ailments. ? Judge Mauldin. having overruled a notion of B. B. Evans to appoint, a y )oard to inquire into the sanity of Ira < farrfson, sentenced to die on Decern- 1 >er 22 for the murder of J. C. Arnettc, 1 if Columbia, Evans went before Asso- 1 late Justice Thomas P, Cothran ask- i' V .1 ng for a .stay of execution until an :ppeal from Judge Mauldin's decision n the matter could be heard. Justice ^othran took the motion under adisement, for a short time and overuled it. ? Holding that conviction in a Fedral court of violating the prohibition I Q.W8 is no bar to trial in state court's \ or the same transaction, the supreme ourt of South Carolina on Saturday ismisred the appeals of Arthur MosIy and Calvin Spencer, of Cherokee , ounty. Mosloy and Spencer appealed I rom sentences imposed in the circuit ourt on the ground of former con Iction in the United States courts. Under decisions of the supreme court he rule has been well established that ! . single transaction can give rise to | noro than one violation" the opinion, ! written by Chief Justice Gary, assert- 1 d. ? The Republicans of the house on,; Yiday ousted from his seat Thomas J V. Harrison, Democrat, who has been j crving from the Seventh Virginia j llstrict since 1902. The vote was 202 , 0 100. After ousting Harrison tli^e , Republicans seated in his place John , Jaul, who will serve until March 4. ' -larrison, as soon ns he could be heard J barged that Republican patronage in ! /irginia was a matter of barter and | lale, and ti at it was altogether in :hargc of Hascom C. Plemp, of the ! Vintli district, and National Commit- 1 eeman from Virginia. He exhibited ! 1 num!)er. of etters alleged to have j >ocn written* by Rlemp and also a large 1 umber of cancelled checlcs which he } :aid represented money that had been > >aiil to Slemp on account of hia acti- ; itios in securing Federal patronage. , ? *? 4% * ? Feinsteins b j CONTINUES THB0S : a vf.w valuable c FOR LATE J For Men and Boys We ] the Following: RED ROOM SLIPPERS?At CHRISTMAS NECKTIES?At HOSIERY in all colors?At SWEATERS?At : MEN'S WOOL SHIRTS?At DRESS SHIRTS?A wide raiiKo of HATS and CAPS?At MILKED and FLEECED UXIONSl MEN'S RiKRED and FLEECED SI MEN'S INITIAL KELTS?At ......... For Ladies a I.'EDROOM SLIPPERS in all color SWEATERS- -From HOSIERY?Pair from L.-\D1HS' KIMONAS?txautilu! ran HANDKERCHIEFS?10 Cts. values HOXED STATIONERY?At CHRISTMAS KOXES?At MLANKETS? At FANCY TOWELS?At CERTAINS?At - A LARGE LIME OF TOYS. I FIND IT AT ] Feinsteins Dep> YORK, T PRINCE'* DEAD. \ maker, taken only a few days be- " chant prince as he appeared to his life. He waa eighty-four years old was active in managing his vast New York city. He was born in 4 rther and a French mother, and the I success was begun there when he loney he earnod was 7 cents, for brickyard his father owned. Harrison was re-elected to his scat in the November election and will resume the place from which he has been ousted on March 4. , "JAYS" RESPONSIBLE. Many Automobile Accidents Due to Carelessness. Blame for the greatest number of itreet and road accidents In which autofnobilea and pedestrians figure, Is r placed upon the shoulders of the "Jaywalker," by M. O. Eldridge, executive chairman of the American Automobile association. The public is entirely too ready to blame the driver,, Mr. Eldridge declares, the first cry that goes up, as a rule, when such an accident cccurs, is that the driver was at fault, when, as a matte.- of fact, in a large majority of cases the person injured was to blame. Explaining a chp.rt summary of traffic accidents in New York city, in tvhich the faultgrjflcapaclty of the , proper party i3 shown, Mr. Eldridge ieclarcd that while almost 60 per cent * )f the causes of accidents are unknown :he blame in the cases where the fault waB determined was overwhelmingly placed on the injured one. , "Over a certain period of time in which 7 I'll accidents, involving prl.ate automobiles occurred, the police lopartmcnt of New York city found by .borough examination that in 450 :ases the driver of the car was to blame," he continued. "In 3,168 cases :he person injured was to blame, and n 3.6S3 casra the cause of the accident was unknown. With the heavy preponderance of blame placed on the wron injured in the known causes of iccidents, it is but fair to presume hat the Injured person was to blame n more than 50 per cent of the renaming if.GS3 cases, liusing this upon mnsbrvative estimates. "During the same period of time, In .vhlch 1,209 accidents involving taxicabs, occurred, tho cause for 51 such cases was traced to the driver, while 137 cases wore bfamed on the person injured, and the causes of 714 accidents remained unknown. "These figures emphasize the contention that no traffic legislation is complete until it provides a penalty for jay-walking. If a motorist is to be fined for disobedience of a traffic signal then the pedestrian should be fined for jay-walking across the street, putting himself as well as every motorist in the Immediate vicinity of danger." [olidav Sale | TUKBAY, DEC. 23D I 3-IFT SUGGESTIONS ? SHOPPERS, | lave Complete Lines of $ $1.25 and $1.75 .< ~ 25 CTS. to $1.00 }; 10 CTS. to 98 CTS. X $1.00 to $7.95 Y $1.98 to $2.98 X patterns?At 75 CTS. to $3.98 $ _ 50 CTS. to $3.50 * 'ITS?From 69 CTS. to'$1.50 ? 1IKTS and DRAWERS?At X 69 CTS. to 98 CTS. * .. V- 75 CTS. | ncl Children , | . s?At 98 CTS. to $1.25 X _... 75 CTS. to $7.95 - 10 CTS. to $2.50 ? Ko of patterns?At $1.75 >?A Special?At 5 CTS. Each A 5 CTS. to 50 CTS. X ? 5 CTS. and 10 CTS. V no o~;?. V ? <pi.?o r?i? 50 CTS. Pair X 98 CTS. Pair X DOLLS AND FIREWORKS ? FEINSTEIN'S/ | artment Store I s. c. I v v v v v 'I'-'.