Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, April 08, 1921, Page Page Eight, Image 8
*'l i. ? ?
Sjiummmts ?rj?rfownt.
\v^Unanswerable.?Army officers in
Washington tell how the cleverness of
a,,newly appointed officer xm General
Wood's staff once saved the newc,9rn,er
from a severe arraignment.
The general has always liked young
men, but not when they were "fresh."
Now he chanced to overhear the boyW.
(." officer referred to say to a group
of frfends:
UfWood? Mighty fine fellow."
The general joined the group amid
profound silence. Turning to the
lieutenant he said sternly:
.Vfij-'I. think, sir, you might have said
'General Wood.'"
. .."Why, sir," answered the youngster
with' happy presence of mind, "did
you ever near or General .pennies or
General Julius Caesar?"
Curtesy. ? Four old Scotchmen
were seated around the tab^e in a
Glasgow clubroom. It was in the wee
sma' hours and Dougald looked across
at Donald and said, in a thick, sleepy
Voice:
' "Did ye notice what an awfu' peculiar
expression there is on Jock's
face?"
"Aye," said Donald, "I notice that.
He's' dead. Been deed these four
is An
hours. s
.; ' "What? Dead! Why did ye no tell
me?"
'>Ah, no?no," said Donald. -"I'm
Tto '^hat kind o' man to disturb a conveevial
evening."
' '-v. , ^ _ s
A Bit Too Severe.?"I have come
said the angry man to the superintendent
of the streetcar line, 4to
g?t justice, sir. Yesterday, as my
wife was getting off one of your cars
thiel conductor stepped on her dress
and tore a yard of frilling off the
The superintendent remained cool.
"Well, sir,1" he said, "I don't know that
we - are to blame for that. What do
^oii expect us to do? Get her a new
dress?"
'"No, sir I do not intend to let you
oft so easily as that," the other man
replied gruffly. Kki brandished in his
riiglit" hand a small piece of silk.
"What I propose to have you do," he
said",'"is to,match this silk."
U-Xlrie Sergeant's Recipe.?Most army
stories cannot be printed, but here is
one .of the mild ones: A hungry
4.oughboy approached the grouchy
iiiess sergeant long after mess was
over and doubtfully asked how the
qhan^ces were for a little something
to-'eat. .
The sergeant smiled upon him with
cjfufte unprecedented favor and asked
seriously: "How would you like a
jam sandwich?"
"Fine," said. the. doughboy, loosening
his belt in anticipation.
"Well, here's two good slices of
bread. Jam 'em together."
Preaching and Practice. ? "For
.heaven's sake. Martha," the Rev. Dr.
Preachley called to his busy wife:
K%-of /->,!<
come ana uihf uus ^ miui v?.
of,my hearing1! "
' "Why, how cross you are," the wife
and mother protested, hurrying to remove
the offending infant.
-Cross? Who wouldn't be cross?"
waV-the peeved retort. "That brat
keeps pulling at me to play with it,
and" yelled when I only slapped its
hands. How do you expect me to ever
finish writing my sermon on "Suffer
little children to come unto me'?"
i i..
vToo Exact.?An American politician!'who
at one time served his country
in very high legislative place,,
passed away, and a number of newspaper
men were collaborating on an
obituary notice.
'V^Vhat shall we say of him?" asked
one. of the men.
^Oh, just put down that he was always
faithful to his trust."
"Yes," answered another of the
group, "that's all light, but are you
going to give the name of the trust?"
Enough Said.?The farmer was met
by .a seedy-looking individual, who
called out: "Is that your pork on the
road down there?"
'"."Pork?" repeated the farmer. "What
do you mean? There's a pig of mine
there.".,,.
' tSOWOMT.n XtSTum xrwiw urnoh ' ..i...
THE CIRCUS PARADE.
"We are to lead the parade," said
the members of the band, "and we
' will play fine mu??
sit' to make evte
eryone' feel happy. .
"They will be
so glad that they
jCZSWA are at the circus
p and will say,
yr*v?rTfi xU <1 wn?,?../v to nnt-h.
t''" C'rCUS
charmer tind the
m/m [ eryone will say
^JK7 vV 'l?W (1Ueet' W(i are"
r**1^ "Aud tlioy will
"We Amuse." wonder how I can
g w a 11 o w t li e
sword," said the lady sword swallower.
"Then we will coine," said the cam- '
els, "and we, will have fine looking
shawls upon our backs. and humps:
We are the Bactrian camels if nuy.
one should want to know and there are
probably many who want to know
this."
t'Then we will come," said the elephants,
"and beautifully dressed ladies
win rule upon us.
"They will ride upon us too," said'
the camels.
"And we will niurcli in the parade,"
said the clowns, "and as we go about
the . ring we will make funny jokes.
We amuse the people and make them
laugh. Last j\ear we had some visitors
with us. There was a great tall
man who had made pictures and a
very short man who made pictures
too.
"That is, they drew funny pictures,
and they knew that visiting us would
help them to make still funnier pictures
for we are so funny."
"Ah, but we will bark anff shout,
"'Bow-wow,'" the dogs said. "And
we will wear fine ribbons on our collars
and lobk very much dressed-up."
- "We will march too," said the horses,
"and after that we will run races and
a man with a big rope will see If he
can capture us all at one fling.
"We pretend to lie very wild. That
is to make the cliKus exciting, but we
aren't really wild at all. We're gentle
and kindly and friendly, but it is our
nart to act wild so we do."
. ,"\Ye fly abqut an<l come back
to the lndy',s arm who trains us," said
the pigeons. "It is true, she has two
arms, and some of us will fly t,o one
arm and the rest to the other arm.
But we who are telling you about what
we will do will fly to her right arm
and so we only spoke of the lady's
arm." '
"In the olden days," said one of the
elephants, "the circus used to travel
by road. They didn't come by trains
arid my great grandfather told how
he and his friends used to swim the
small rivers when the rest of the
circus was travelling over the bridges
'they came to, for if they had gone over
the bridges, the bridges might have
gone through with their great weight.
"That is an interesting hit of family
history."
"When the circus is over the peopie"
wiil come and look at all of us," said
another elephant.
"Yes," said one of the other camels,
"they will all come and admire
us."
"They will see me," said the Nubian
Lion, "with ray handsome big inane
and my huge body."
"And they will see me." said the
"Ah," continued the tramp, "out
there's a motorcar just been by."
i-An Ingenious Thing.?Mrs. Mason,
who had just had installed an electric
cooking* stove, asked her maid, Norah
what she thought of it.
i, "To me, mum," said . Norah, "it
seems like a great invintion. When
you and Mr. Mason was away for
over Sunday, mum, 1 burned it all the
time, mum, and there seems to be
pliaty of electricity still left!"
i 1
To Make Them Pay.?Hacon?"My
wife is working on a new kind of a
slot-machine which she expects to
make a lot of money out of."
Egbert?"Really?"
Racon?"Sure thing; it is to be at
tached to a trout uooi\ ana wnen a
1'eJlow comes home late at night he
"/
doesn't get in unless he puts in a $5
note."?Yonkers Statesman.
ve ^
No Admission.?The senator was
back home, looking after his political
fences, and was asking the minister
about some of his old acquaintances.
'How's old Mr. Jones?" he inquired.
"Will .1 be likely to see him to-day?"
"You'll never see Mr. Jones again,"
said the minister. "Mr. Jones has
gone to heaven."?The Non-Partisan
Pender (Minn.)
Why the Editor Left Town.?Miss
B. M. D. sang sweetly and effectively
"Just as I am, Without One
Plea."?i-'airmont West-Virginian.
lSable Niger Antelope from Africa.
"They will be told '
that I Jo not 1(1 II it l| IT]
make a nice pet
but am rather t J
cross. Still I am >
worth looking at. \Jtyr -hit
even if T'w not \Jw rp\
much?'on being a , | t
pet." ^
"T hey will ' *
speak of my beau- ^rf/. i
ty," said a beauti- ,
ful big spotted 'j h
Bengal Tiger. h h / |
"They will come Vi 'fr (
to see us," said PN 'At
the Russian jf
Brown Bear, "and |K .,Jff
I will stan d U 11 ^ rrrikf IJ
up on my hind "On My Hind
legs and look at Legs."
theiu out of the
bars of my cage. Of course I will
look at them with my eyes but I will
look through (he bars Of my cage all
the same."- *
"And they will feed us peanuts,"
said the elephants, "and they will
lnmrh as thev see us wave our heads.
The peanut man will tell them that
the elephants can he fed at this time,
and then he will make money selling
his peanuts and we will be fed."
But it was time for the parade to
start, so they followed the bund, and
all the people who saw theui clapped
their hands.
One Way Out.?"Father, 1 need a
new riding hal>it."
"Can't afford it," he growled.
"lint, father, what ;mi I to do without
a riding habit?"
"Get the walking Imhit."?Boston
Transcript.
The Time Limit.?'Miss Toots, will
you marry me? 1 would gladly die
for you," offered the wealthy, but
aged suitor."
"How soon?" queried that practical
twentieth century maid.
MURDER AND SUICIDE
Grandmother Kills Self and Grandson
Rather Than Be Separated.
"When Mrs. Susannah Kish, 70.
heard that her son, Frank, who lives
in Chicago, wan preparing to sue for
divorce and take unto himself a new
wife it instantly flashed throifgh her
mind that Frank would be sending for
his 6-year-old son, Sammy, who had
been making his home with her, relates
a Detroit, Mich., dispatch. And
she loved the youngster even dearer
than she had ever loved any of her
own children.
She decided to garnish the last
hours with her grandson with a round
of pleasure. First, she arranged an
elaborate party. The house was gaily
decorated. There were numeroustoys,
bright colored favors, gifts for
each of Sammy's little guests, candy
and a big white frosted cake. The
children of the neighborhood were invited.
At the party Mrs. Kish announced
that Sammy was soon going "upon a
long journey" and his playmates "must
make merry now, for they would never
see him again." Her statement
was interpreted as meaning the child
was preparing to join his father in
Chicago. There was a general feeling
of pity for the grandmother, whose
very life seemed wrapped up in the
boy.
The day before the party she bought
Sammy a new suit of clothes and herself
a new dress. They were all black,
but little Sammy didn't think anything
of this/ The grandmother didn't
let him wear the suit at the birthday
party, for she said that was for his
trip.
For two days after the party no life
was noticed about the Kish home.
Neither Sammy nor his grandmother
had been seen. Neighbors knocked
repeatedly at the doors, but received
no response. Becoming suspicious,
they notified the police. When the
latter broke in they found the house
filled with gas. The grandmother was*
lying on the bed' with her grandson
tightly clasped in her arms. Both
were dead. ''The crevices about the
doors and windows had been carefully
stuffed with rags. The new dress and
suit had been carefully laid out?for
their long journey.
THEY TAKE THE PLEDGE
Real Snakes Used to Cure Otd Liquor
Heads.
McKee's Rocks moral tone, long
classed as low, is on the uplift, because
Chief of Police Street has tacklrt'i
Y\\rr Vtnn/?i/"?nn I
"hootch chasers." Immune to every
punishment, blandishment or promise
of future welfare, they have succumbed
to the chief's latest ruse of incarcerating:
them in a "terror cell"
Vith six big Mexican snakes of the
i pine and bullhead varieties says a
McKee's Rocks Pa., dispatch.
Chief Street's' unusual experiment
came only after he had exhausted
every known method for curing perpetual
drinkers. Reformers and sociologists
were appealed to. Fines
and jail sentences had little effect.
nFo the chief, on the suggestion of a
western friend, procured six Mexican
pine and bullhead snakes. Although
quite harmless they are terrifying in
appearance, measuring six feet in
length with the thickness of a man's
arm.
Whenever one of the old whiskyteers
heeds "real persuasion" he is
placed in the cell with the snakes.
When awakened he sees his cellmates
1
j It Is Comi
2
S We Are Going to I
9 Weather Now and
J die Dresses Will Be
COME IN AND LE'
J Our Organdies and Voilci
? made up early.
? FIGURED
i In all of the best, patterns
i son as high at $2.50 a yarc
j 19 CTS., 45 CTS., 68 CTS
1
SOLID COLUJK
A
9 In all the wanted shades?
i
9 WHAT IS I
0
i) Than a nice White Voih
' goods tluit yon want?Pvi
5 25 GTS., 39 CTS., 49
5
Next we will show yo
9 WHITE OR
? Priced at 25 CTS,
9 Very select quality and bi
1 IMPORTED C
j In Colors?Maize, Orchid
A Nile and Copen?Special 1
l KIRKPATRK
3 Sells It For Less
and ivariably "cuts lip some real didoes,"
to use the words of Chief
Street. t
A nicely scrolled "pledge," hanging
on the door, bears the tremorous signature
of several dozen "old-timers"
who have spent the night in the "terror
cell" and awakened there the next
morning.
GREEK PRINCE KILLED
Brother of King .Con&tantine Loses
Life in Battle.
Prince Andreas, of Greeec, brother
of 'King Constantine, has cfied from
wounds received in fighting near
Brusa, according to a Constantinople
dispatch quoting' a Turkish announcement.
The Turks also assert that
General Vlachapalos in command of
the Greek attack against the- Turkish
nationalists on the Brusa front, has
been killed in action.
Prince Andreas of Greece was the
third son of the late King George.
He \vas horn in Athens on January 20,
1SS2, and served in the Greek army
during the Balkan war in 1912. Following
the flight of King Constantine
from Greece in 1917, it was reported he
aspired to the throne, hut this move
was reported to have been1 blocked by
M. Venizelos, then premier of Greece.
REAL ESTATE AGENCY
FOR SALE
Fifty Acre Tract?Near New Zion
church and school; three-room house
and barn; lot of good saw timber*
The J. W. Dobson Property?Corner
of Congress and Madison streets. Good
nine-room dwelling and store. Lot
faces on Congress and Madison streets,
with room for more buildings. Attractive
bargain.
Cottage on Wright Avenue?Five
rooms and commodious sleeping porch,
electric lights, water and bath; Lot 80
feet front. 280 feet back.
Nine Room House?Between residence
of C. F. Sherer and Carroll Bros.'
Store. If you are looking.for a fine location
and a bargain, see me quick.
Five Room House?Off King's Mountain
street, Yorkville. Lot 90x200 feet.
Thirty Acres?One mile of Yorkville,
on King's Mountain road.
Tract of 142 Acres?Two miles of
Clover. Has a first class neatly painted
eight-room hous^, with good barn
and outbuildings; also a well'finished
four-room house with oiitbuildings.
Entire place is good level, land with
practically no waste. Will'' sell as a
whole or divide so as to leave settlement
developments on either tract.
New four-room house?bjear Yorkville
Graded chool.
Residence Phono 111 and
Office Phone 74.
C. F. SHERER, Real Estate
This
Store
IS HEADQUARTERS FOR FINE
FURNITURE, MATTINGS, RUGS
AND TAPESTRIES.
WE CARRY A LARGE STOCK
OF COOKING STOVES,
RANGES AND HEATERS.
Automobile Accessories, Gasoline
and Oils.
M. L. FORD & SONS
Licensed Undertakers and Embalmers.
Automobile Hearses.
CLOVER, S. C.
I
ing? j
o 1
L
lave Some Warm $
e
Voile and Organ- ? j
: What You Want J
r US SHOW YOU I
5 and get. those Dresses ?
f
VOILES 6
?
5 that you paid last sea- J
[ for?Arc here today at f
75 GTS., 98 CTS; Yd. ?
IED VOILES J
-Priced now at '
49 CTS, Yard J
'RETTIER 2
?
e Dress? We have the ?
ccd at
CTS., 98 CTS. Yd. 2
u our jf
GANDIES
, 68 CTS., 98 CTS. Yd. ?
.'antiful new patterns in V
)RGANDIES i
Vf I
, Harding Blue, Grey, ?!
.Meed at p
$1:98 Yard ? j
;K-BELK CO. {
Sells It For Less (f
Following the return to .Athens of
Constantine, Prince Andrews was up
pointed a general in the Greek army
and late last month was said to he in
command of a division at the front.
He was married to Princess Alice of
Battenberg on October 7, 1903.
LEAVES LARGE ESTATE
Property of Late Cardinal Gibbons
Valued at $100,000
The will of Cardinal Gibbons was
filed in the Orphans' court in Baltimore
this week, disposing" of a personal
estate of about ?100,000.
)u i^iaiiujj \j. i ?. \??u i aiuiiiii- I
istrator, of the Baltimore Jiooe.se;
I Refrigi
| , YES, QUITE TRUE,
| eariy to think about Rcf
a but really it is not too e
| one of these home neecs
5. summer. We can supply
| we may not be able to d
| that you look at our Rcl
5 now while tlie "getting i
| You'll find our prices
= V\*il 1 find that our Rcfrigi
= 0. K. as to quality: Loo
U REFRIGERATOR S|
ICE BOXES?75 and
| YORK EUR
fa >
NEW LOT OF CHOICE
\
Wc hare a choice bin
now?arrived a few day?
for a jNTnlc or two come a
exchange and give you ;
MULES JAMES B
j YOU NEED .THE DOC!
s
\ CALL NO. 65, CLOVER, ;
OUR PRESCRIPTION DEPART,'
J rharmacist.
! WE KEEP?Fresh Candles.nil tin
I and WRITING MATERIA
therexall. CI" I PE
; store
i Prompt and Accurate Servic
I OIL MILL PRODUC
See lis for n good ex
We liavc nice briglr
OUR GINNERIES ARE
THAN THEY HA
I We can handle 125 bale
charge is 60 CENTS per
ROLLER MILLGrinds
Wheat, Corn a
Feed, Chicken Feed, I
11 ay, Flour "and Corn
money.
I DEALERS IN COAL ANI
| YORKVILLE COTTO
the Rev. Louis R. Stickney, rector of <
the cathedral, and the Rev. Eugene I
J. Connelly, chancellor of the diocese,
is left the hulk of the late prelate's
estate. Under a codicil drawn in November
1010, all the property owned
by the cardinal in Virginia and West
Virginia is bequeathed to Bishop Donis
J. O'Conncll, of Richmond, Va.
in a private memorandum left for
the guidance of his executors, he designates
the disposition of certain
funds for Catholic educational purposes
in the archdiocese. Personal
legacies ranging from $3,000 to Bishop
Carrigan, down to $100 for the servants
of his household, also were spec
I iried in the memorandum.
erators , |
it may seem to be a little |
rigcrators aiid lee Boxes; 5
arly if you4 expect to buy E
s'itics tli is year?for next ?
' you now?next summer ~
.0 so. Hence, we suggest =
'rigcrators and Ice Boxes 5
is good." E
quite interesting and you E
erators and lee oBx-cs are |
k at once. ' ?
?25 to 100 lbs. capacity. . |
1100 lbs. eamcitv. =
j. ? j SS5
NITURE CO J
MULES?
ncli of grilles at our barns
? ago. If you have a need
nd see us. 'We will sell or ,
i fair deal.
[(OTHERS H0RSES
hi u.ay ,a
iati n ^
UJ& !?
' \
and we will get one for you. *
WENT is in el large of a Licensed ' .
j time.? See us for STATIONERY \
LS, Magazines, Perfumery, etc.
[ARMACY J- E. BRI80N, | '
Proprietor }
:c CLOVER, S. C. ;
r 1
TS I
change of Meal for Seed. |
t Hulls. ; . | ,
IN BETTER SHAPE J ,
VE EVER BEEN. f j
is in 12 hours, and the |
Hundred pounds of lint. | i
.ml Oats. Sells Flour, Hog I ^
lorsc ami Mule Feed, Oats, S
Meal. Try us and save 2 |
) ICE. | (
? OIL COMPANY | |
c
OLIVER /
CHILLED
PLOWS"
WE ARE OVERSTOCKED ON ONE
HORSE AND NO. 10 OLIVER
CHILLED PLOWS AND WE ARE
GOING TO SELL THEM.
IF YOU ARE IN THE MARKET FOR
ONE OR MORE WE WILL
SELL.YOU CHEAPER THAN
THE OTHER FELLOW?NO
MATTER WHAT HIS rmue.
MAYBE. COME BEFORE THEY
ALL GO?COME NOW. r
Wc have Orange and Amber Cano Seed.
CARROLL BR-OS. y .
DOUBLE THE LIFE
f t /
Of Congoleum, Linoleum or Any
Similar Floor Covering By Using?
COS 10 LAC |f?|?
THE I3E&T all use Varnisfi;
For your Spring Cleaning use
"jap-a-lacA .'>?
We have a good line of both of the
above and also a line of 1
HOUSE PAINTS
Second to none. See lis for Pure Linseed
Oil, Turpentine, White Lead and
Colors. See us and get prices that will ^
surprise you. '
white wash and paint brushPEOPLES
FURNITURE
COMPANY -?
.V ' \
R. C. Brockington . ' F. L. Hinnant
W. M. Brown r??'
Palmetto Monument to.
YORK, -v- s.e.: /
20 CEMETERY STREET'
J. G. SASSI'S OLD STANDNear
Southern Depot'hnd Rose Hill
' Cemetery.
. We make the location of our yafde
plain so that ybu may know where to
lind us when you start out to find the
PALMETTO MONUMENT CO. /
Come down East Liberty Street to
Cemetery Street,, at the Southern Passenger
Depot, and turn to the left?you
will find us at the Corner of Rose Hill . .
Cemetery. - N \
FINISHED MARBLE
We hav$ just received a handsome
'line of Monuments, etc., in finished
marble, and can supply what you want
on very shori notice. We specialize in ,
the best Granite Work.
PALMETTO MONUMENT.CO.
"Honor Them With a Monument,"
PYRAMID PAINT SHOP
BOCK HlfcMre?
AUTO PAINTING? ' ;
* / ; -f' ', ' ' ' '
SPRING?the season of thtfyear that
makes you want to be out in the bpe'n
as much as possible?is here, and now
is the time to have that Automobile of
your's painted.. Painting?rightly done
?will add much to its appearance and
much to its life?}ve do it right.
Scores of our customers will gladly
testify to the quality and workmanship
of our Auto Painting. ' ~ .
Think it over. Come and see us. .The
cost isn't so much and you'll be more
than pleased with the .job we do. /
AUTO TOPS? ?
To be sure we make Auto Tops?real / .
Tops?Tops that are as good; as the /'
original builder made?better if you de- ,
si^-e a bettor top. See us about it.
JAS. A.- JOHNSON, Prdp.
PAINTING?
i / .* .
If you are thinking of do
ing any painting this spring
or sunnncv, either your
house on the outside or inside
work see us before you
buy your paint. We:sell DEYOE?it
is reeoghized as
top-notch in covering and "
lasting quality.'
FLY SCREENS?
.. Insure your comfort .this .
summer by screening your
residence. Our screens last.
LOGAN LUMBER YARD
DORSET. PS
HARNESS AND SHOE
? HOSPITAL ?
Corner Congress and Jeffersons Sts. v
We wish to announce that! we have
1 deled to our force an
expert shoe ' \
-Repair man?
Capable of doing any Shoe Repair
,vork. Your repair work solicited, and
t' you will let us know we will call for
t in town.
w e ask our farmer friends
to bring us their harness
for repairs.
Prompt Service and Good Work and At
Fair Prices.
A. D. DORSETT, Prop.
Seville enquirer
Dno Year by mail ? $3.00
Six Months by Mail ? ? 1.75
!>ne Year by Carrier ? 3.50
Six Months by<Carrier ? 2.00
ifi/ Extra postage for delivery by Vllarge
Letter Carrier, one cent a copy.
?apers delivered at the postoffice to be
tailed for by subscriber, without extra
:harge for postage.
Three or more annual'subscriptions
eturned and paid for at one time, $2.50 ,
?ach by mail, or $3.00 if delivered by
:arrier. . . .
... '