Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, September 05, 1919, Page Page Eight., Image 8
^tumorous |l f part went
Our Language is So Explicit!--The
tradesman had rendered his bill, waited
a month, and then wrote:
"Please, sir, I want my bill."
Back came the bill with these words:
"Certainly: here it is."
The bill .was returned, and in a
month the tradesman again wrote:
"Kindly send me the amount of my
bill."
And the answer came, politely and
promptly:
* ?- u 1ai aj off ??
"certainly; u it> ivi.-u.
' The third month the tradesman
again wrote:
"Will ^ou send me a check for the
- amount of my bill?"
The answer came, with a blank, unsigned
check:
"Certainly; here is the check. I have
kept the amount of your bill."
The fourth month the tradesman
wrote:
"I want my bill paid."
And the answer came back: "So
do I." '
Then the tradesman gave It up.
,.$ure Cure Wanted.?A wild-looking
man rushed, into a dentist's office,
nearly upsetting* the butler at the door.
"Do you glue gas here?" asked the
newcomer. .
"We do," replied the dentist.
"Does it put a fellow to sleep?"
4 "It doesr -- -. >
. "Soudd sleep, so you can't wake him
UJ>?"' " ' *U' v ^
y<"Yes."
"You could break his jaw or black
vhls eye and he wouldn't feel It?" ^
'^te would lenow nothing about It."
/ "How long does he sleep?"
"About a minute, or probably a little
less."
"I expect that's long enough- Got It
all ready for a fellow to take?"
"Tee; take a seat In this chair and
show me your tooth."
V 'Tooth nothing," ibid the excited
caller, beginning rapidly to remove his
coat and vest. "I want you to pull u
porous plaster off my back."
Wagnerian Organ Effects.?An organ-grinder.
whose repertoire consisted
largely of old-fgshioned Italian melodies
and operatic selections, played
one or two of them before a suburban .
house. There happened to be a party
of music-loving people on the porchdevotees
of Wagner. Tho host, whose
hair was long and hri/shed pompadour,
becltOQed to the man- "I should be
glad," said he with a lofty manner, "if
you would kindly play a few selections (
from Wagner."
I/nmediately the organ-grinder, 1
- * ' J '1-11.. ..nllarf. (
tttrawing up nu nunun wuui;,
* "Wagner! Wagner! Not for fifty dol- i
lara. I breaka three organs an' kllla ,
two monk wid your Wagner! I play (
him no more!"
On 1 n WTTT-^
Go Up Head, Johnny.?Once upon a
time an inspector was examining a
very youthful clasa of Scotch boys, and
among other subjects he requested the
teacher to ask her pupils a few que*- ,
Hons in Nature knowledge. Desiring ,
her class to do her honor she decided
upon the simple subject, "Chickens."
"Now, children," she said, "I want
you to tell me something very wonder'
ful about chickens." (
vHow they get out of their shells?"
promptly responded one little fellow.
"Wg|J," said the teacher, "that is, of 1
course, wonderful; but I mean something
mora wonderful still."
There wag silence for a few seconds.
Then up spoke Johnny. "Please, ma'am,
it's malr wonderful hoo they ever
? oVin]la'" /
Bui, njiay
Why He Wanted to Know.?A
pawnbroker,was awakened In the mid- 1
die of the night by a furious knocking ,
at his door. Opening the window he
looked out and asked:
"What's the matter?"
"Come down," demanded-the knocker.
calmly.
"But "
,, "Come down!"
The pawnbroker hastened down- 1
stairs and peeped around the door. i
"Now, sir," ho demanded.
"I wan'sh know the time," said the
reveler.!
"Do you mean to say you knocked
me up for that? How dare you r
The midnight visitor looked injured"Well,
you've got my watch," he said.
When the Weather was Very Cold.
?An American and a/Scotchman were
discussing the cold experienced in winter
in the north of Scotland.
' Why, it's nothing at all compared
to the cold we have in the States," said
the American- "I can recollect one
winter when a sheep, jumping from a
hillock Into a field, became suddenly
frozen on the way, and stuck in the air
like a mass of ice."
"But, man," exclaimed the Scotchman,
"the law of gravity wouldn't allow
that."
llT l? ?4Vw, conlipfl lhf> tale
X MIUW 111(41) ?V|/??V*. ? ?
pitcher. "But the law of gravity was
frozen, too!"
A Sign of Bad Weather.?A nervous
woman on an ocean liner approached
a deck-hand during a season of 'headseas,"
and asked:
"Have you ever seen any worse
weuther than this, Mr- Sailor?"
"Take a word from an old salt,
mum," replied the dock-hand. "The
weather's never very bad while there's
any females on deck a-making inquiries
about it."
Couldn't Do Better.?Two friends who
had not seen each other for several
years met again, unexpectedly, as
neighbors in a new suburban place.
"Hallo. Biiklns! Who are you working
for now?" asked Simkin3, over tli<*
garden fence.
X "Sahte people," was the cheery answer_
"A wife and five children." I
. r < j> T . ,, I.
Coming to York
THE
ASSOCIATED DOCTORS
Specialists Will Be at Shandon
Hotel on Thursday,
September 11th, for
j One Day Only.
?
/
x \\
Convincing Evidence for the Sick, How
Chronic Sufferers Are Being Restored
to Health Through Associated
Doctor's System of Treatment.
Offer Service Free of Charge
The Associated Doctors, Specialists,
licensed and authorized by the State
if South Carolina, and who have met
vith such phenomenal success, will be
n YORK, at the SHANDON JfOTEL,
in THURSDAY, SEPT. 11TH, for
Dne "Day Only, to demonstrate th^ir
lew system of treatment of chronic
cases. Thiese regular, reputa
ble physicians believe that the combined
skill of several trained specialists
n chronic disease cases can accomplish -'
nore than one doctor alone?in other
R'ords, in unity there is strength.
The offer to treat all^who call on
h^ visit, Absolutely Free, is their
jrlginal method of geiting their system j
>f treatment before the public quicker,
ind no one, rich or poor, white or coined,
should neglect to take advantage
>f their very liberal free offer?ABSOLUTELY
FREE?(medicine excepted).
Co cutting, no knife! 11
\
It makes no difference how many
loctors you have consulted or how
nany patent medicines -you have tak- '
?n, you cannot afford to miss this opportunity
of ascertaining your exact
:ondition and be honestly advised. No
?ne should require further evidence of
he skill of these Specialists than the
ollowing:
TESTIMONY
Mrs. S. A. baker, Lamar, S. CM
' \
vi.tcs: 'T am feeling lots stronger and ?
>etter. Have good appetite. I am
lure glad I am taking your remedies."
/
(
William C. Orr, Bamberg, S. C., <
vrltes: "I have taken all the remedies
r*cu prescribed for mc and am "feeling
nuch better. Will you please send me
mother." . * H arm!
C. L. Therrell, Chesterfield, S. C.,
writes: "I am getting on Just fine. '
Peel well, eat well and sleep well."
Now that you know the truth, you
liave only yourself to blame if you continue
to suffer from Piles, Kidney and
Bladder trouble, Discharges, Bed Wetting,
Blood Poison, Skin Eruptions,
Rheumatism, Epilepsy, Uric Acid Poisoning,
Paralysis, Nervous troubles
and Debility, Neuralgia, Stomach and
Liver troubles, Catarrh, Indigestion,
Asthma, Constipation, Gall Stones,
Bronchitis, Pleurisy, Tumors, Ovarian
and Female Troubles, Enlarged Glands
or any reflex conditio^ of the nervous
system, and those diseases about wnicn j
most people dislike to consult the gencral
practitioner. ;
Married women should be accompanied
by their husbands and children by
their parents. ... * | k V J'.'
Remember the Hotel, Day and Date
?one day only. ^
Hours: 9:00 a. m. to 4.00 p. m. T,
Office and Laboratories v
511-512 Lyric Buildine, % j
/| BIRMINGHAM, ALA. \
V
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SCHOOL BOOKS <
The Graded School opens next Mon- q
day and of course all children of the ?
school age are expected to be on the s<
job. Then, too, most of them will re- 81
CJ
quire some New Books?some more? q
some less. Remember, that tills Store p
is headquarters for all South Carolina .f<
adopted School Books and also for
SCHOOL SUPPLIES ?
11
We have quite a complete stock of
Books and the othef School Room nc- ai
cessities. Let'us serve ydu. ^
But we want to remind you in regard D
to School Books that we arc not allow?i
*~ o^ll *hnw nrn/m) fnl" CASH.
HI OH. --i . w
Shieder-Snelling Drug Co. F
8,000 PAIRS OF SHOES
AT OLD PRICES \
We have an Immense stock to go at
the Old Prices.
10,000 yds. 35c OUTING at 25 CTS. f
10 Bales BED TICKING?At f
20 CTS. ami 25 CTS. *
35,000 yds. 40-inch\SHEETTNG?today's
price is 29c?Going at 20 CTS.
Hamilton HICKORY SHIRTING?At
. 33 1-3 errs. Y(l. j
000 BOYS' SUITS
At $5.00, $6.50, $8.50?Worth $3.00 per
Suit rrrdfe 1n New York today.
LAST FEBRUARY WE PURCHASED
Our entire stock of WAVE POPLINS
and SERGES. Today they are 50 per
cent higher. We pass>all on to our
customers at the Old Price.
It will pay you to look this immense
Stock over.
McConnell dcompanys
Cheapest Store in South Carolina
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL
OUR SPECIALTY
IS WOMEN'S, MISSES AND CHILDREN'S
READY-TO-WEAR HATS.
In All Styles and Qualities
SCHOOL OPENS NEXT MONDAY
See us about the New ^chool Hat for
your child. /
OUR OOODS ARE OP BEST P5
QUALITY?
And we challenge competition in the
prices.
WE HAVE NEW SHAPES
For use in making over the last year's
hat and it will be our pleasure to help
you in re-trimming your old hat.
We have an entirely now line of Velvets
and Ribbons and everything that
goes with Millinery.
Homemade Handkerchiefs a Specialty.
The Millinery Parlor
Mrs. J. M. FERGUSON, Prop.
CARLOAD BUGGIES i
JUST ARRIVED ?
F<
Orood Buggies, too?the kind g0?
that will please you in the w
style and workmanship? u
?-1 a 1
X CSS, III1U. liii? l l'cli vuiihj; iui
' nc
the price. Sec us if inter- tic
ested in buying a buggy.
<
Incidentally keep the Nor- walk
Tires and Tubes in j
mind. They're sure good. ,
CARROLL SUPPLY CO.
ci
se
REAL ESTATE
FARMS AND CITY PROPERTY
CATAWBA REAL ESTATE CO.
Capital $150,000.00 Established 1002 F1
J. M. CHERRY, JAMES S. WHITE, FJ
President. Secretary,
ROSS F. ROACH. F]
Salesman. D.
"YOU LIST IT. WE SELL IT." w
Hock HJ1I, - - S. C. " Gi
Ju
HORSES AND MULES. W
F STILL have a few young Mules and
Horses: also some Second Hand
Stock. Will sell at reasonable prices, T
cash or credit. York No. 5.
32 tf B. B. FERGUSON.
liniiiiiiiiiiiiiiciiiHiiiiiHiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiiiiimi
I CHATTANOOGk
| K-H
a
E We have just received a
= GRATES. Sec us. Tlicy
? ri _ x i
a service ana saLisiactiuu.
r Summer Time with us it b
= and preparing for the very
a staring us in the face.
1 PAIORIf YES'thp<
5 tttLUJUL moar.s of lie
| you intend liaving one inst
a the approaching winter, it
5 place your order with us n
| Our Motto?SERVE
| THE YORK HARDY
I YORK, - s
' ~
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiuiiiiiitiiiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiiiifiriiiiii
Clover Crops
(ioocl farmers have long since demnstrated
the value of Cover Crops and
lost good farmers are particular to
ie to it that a part of their lands a^e
Dwn to Cover crops in the early fall?
arly sowing insuring better stands,
rimson Clover, Vetch and Rape have
roven their worth as cover crops both
jr pastureagc .and for turning under
>r soil Improvement. We have the
?ed?RAPE, VETCH and CRIMSON
LOVER. Be sure that you sow down
jmc of your acreage to these crops.
[ORSE FEED?
Yes, we know that you know that we
re headquarters for Horse and Mule
eed. We arc telling it to your neigh r,
so he'll know. Also as to
AIRY OGW FEED?
Ours is the kind that makes more
lilk and butter and costs less per galn
to get the milkERGUSON
& YOUNGBLOOD
/
MTERALL'S
'ASTE FAINTHAS
NO SUPERIOR.
CHEAPER, BECAUSE IT WILL
TAKE ON TWICE AS MUCH
OIL AS ORDINARY PALsT.
ALSO HAVE
LINSEEiD OIL AND
TURPENTINE *
IN STOCK.
LOUIS ROTH
?UIC K
AND ,
OAKLAND
AUTOMOBILES
lace orders novf for future
delivery.
QUINN WALLACE
ABOUT GROCERIES
Ladies and Gentlemen:
i;
A word with yop about Groceries,
lien you buy Groceries for your tao
you want the Best in Qaulity and
e Most for your money. My constant
tcntion striven,t6 Groceries and I
Jlevo that a can make it to you * incest
to become a REGULAR CUS5MER
at this store. All sorto of
>odstu(ts are gradually advancing,
ike my advice and buy freely of the
>ods quoted here:
ItESII VEGETABLES?
Always in siock. Everything sold at
>west Prices consistent with quality.
Potato Slips?your orders oomc
>w for Potato Slips?$2-50 per 1,000
dlvered. Orders filled In 3 to 5 days
Money refunded.
J. D. HOPE, Sharon, S. C.
f
50 HAMS WANTED
We want to buy FIFTY COUNTRY
JRI2D HAMS. If you have any to
II, see us at once.
When you have a pood Fat Deef to
II, LET ME KNOW.
flESII FISII?
KID AY AND SATURDAY.
We will have a nice assortment of
KESH FISH FRIDAY AND SATUR\Y.
Let us have your order.
hen that Calf cets four weeks old?
its too strong for wife to hold?
ist send him on to town?
e pay you the cash right down.
? O. G.
JITY MEAT MARKET
C. F. SHERER. Pmr
iimiiiHiiiii!iiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiniiiiKiiiiii>t
1 f
ILL . I
GRATES j
shipment of the above 5
are the kind that give 5
While-we still have Old =
ehooves us all to be up =
cold winter mat is now 5
3AL0B1C is the ideal jj
>ating the house, and if 5|
ailed in your house for E,
would be desirable to =
OW. Li
! - U - RITE. f
VARE COMPANY |
- - S.C. I
ifiiiifiiiiiiiiioiijiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiituF
ANNOUNCEMENT *
IT IS WITH,PLEASURE that I announce
to my'friends and the publrc
generally, that I have opened a
GROCERY AND FEED STORE
In the Wylle Building, recently vacated
by the Hart Grocery Co-, and I am
now ready for business and will appreciate
your patronage.
I will handle a general line of GROCERIES
and FARM SUPPLIES and of
course a full line of FEEDSTUFFS for
work animals, hogs, cows and poultry.
I want your business and will appreciate
your favors, and will give my patrons
PROMPT SERVICE. COURTE^T
* mrnnvmrAxr r>T T? Cirn nT A OO
UUB A I.J. Iliil XAWi>, X'i.rk.r)j.
GOODS and FAIR PRICES.
Call on me for your needs whatever
they may be.
J. M. FERGUSON A
In the Wylie Building
BARRELS AND KEGS
We h?ve 5 and 10 gallon
Molasses Kegs and 50 gallon
Barrels, but you had best see
us quick. Supply is limited.
BARBED WIRE?
We have it. Also have the
Hog Fencing and also Baling
Wire.
CHURNS/
We have both the Dazey
Chum and the Taylor Chitrn
?either will give satisfac
fcory service.
HARDWARE?
See us for whatever you
need in Hardware.
i
FARMERS HARDWARE
& SUPPLY CO.
^ A
? '
i ,
i
f
- ]
4
]
"I
f ? Som<
"descei
that wa
men wh
price pi
For t
men wa
! , "life."
That'
be mix<
ttrlian vi
II UbU J 1
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. 1
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DID WE O PEN
On the Morning of the 20th?
We did. And to our surprise the Goot
and Tender beef eating folks of Yorl
gave us a splendid response. As al
children do, we are crawling new; bu
if past patronage is an index it will on
ly be a short while before crawlini
will be a thing of the past, and NO>i
11 it ID 9U11IUIM1I15 JjUV/U iv/ wi Viiuw JW
want Plione No. 6, and the Bicycle Be
livery will be on the Job Immediately
ON FRIDAY AND SATURDAY
We have booked the following gooc
things to eat:
Cutlets, Fresh Water and Salt
Water Speckled Trout, Fresh
Eggs, Butter and Cheese
And somebody might want a piece o
Bologna Sausage. It is therefore un
necessary to expense yourself to th<
extent of a trip to Rock Hill in orde
to satisfy your desires. We hope t<
nave It, and if not, it is your privilegi
to express your wantr and it shall b<
our aim to satisfy the demands of thi
public, when permitted by existin!
conditions. ?
We want to buy Eggs, Butter an<
PhirlfPTi<i
The SANITARY MARKED
LEWIS G. FERGUSON, Prop.
FEELING BLUE
LIVER LAZY
TAKE A CALOTAE
Wonderful How Young anc
Energetic You Feel Aftei
ITIn1n?/a TViin \T niirtAolrtflt
icuuug xiuo iiauocaicoi
Calomel Tablet.
If you have not tried CalotaJ?s- yoi
havo a delightful surprise awaitini
you. The wonderful llver-cleansinj
and system-purifying properties of calomel
may now beymjoyed without th<
slightest unpleasantness. A Calotab a
bedtime with a? swallow of water,that's
all. No taste, no salts, nor th<
slightest unpleasant effects. You wak<
up in the morning feeling so good tha
you want to laugh about it. / Your livei
is clean, Your system is purified, youi
appetite hearty. Eat what you wish,?
no danger. The next time oyu fee
lazy, mean, nervous, blue or discouraged
give your liver a thorough cleans
ing with a Calotab. They are so perfeci
that your druggist is authorized to refund
the price as & guarantee that yoi
will bo delighted.
Calotabs are sold only in origina
sealed packages. Price thirty-five cents
At all drugstores.? (adv).
i
- *
moke Virginia- Carolirr
- -
, V
Does
Qualit
mean
:ancy
. ,
price
to you
a smokers still pay a i
idants" of Virginia-Cs
s transplanted years ado
10 judge tobacco by qua!
efer Virginia-Carolina.
his tobacco has all the i
mt in a cigarette?flavor,
's why Virginia-Carolina
?d with other tobaccos,
3U smoke it straight?in a
t
The Virginia f.4
I _ , i. .ij j(? )(u ?- ?
Bv , <- s '
?
SCHOOL BOOKS AND ,
i SCHOOL SUPPLIES *
c
1 PLEASE REMEMBER THAT
t WE ARE PREPARED TO
SUPPLY ALL STATE ADOPTED
! SCHOOL BOOKSCSALSO THAT
WE HAVE EVERYTHING
' NEEDED IN THE WAY OF
SCHOOL SUPPLIES?
Pencils, Tablets, Pens, Inks,
Composition Books, Exercise
1 Books, Efc.
Please Remember That All School
Rooks ore SPOT CASH?Xo Books '
? CliarRcd to Anybody.
I CLOVER DRUG STORE
3 R. L. WYLIE, Proprietor
0 Phone No. 2 Clover, g. O.
3
' PROFESSIONALGARDS.
1 P. W. HUNTER M. D. '
1 ~
. Office in Up Stairs of Kennedy Broe.
& Darren Building.
For present can "be found upon in"
quiry at Shieder-Snclllng Drue Company.
Telephone S6.
4t
. . . , ' - > X
-J. A. MARION ?
ATTORNEY-AND COUNSELLOR AT .
) LAW
i Office opposite the Courthouse.
Telephone No. 126, York Exchange.
'YORK. 8. a
I
- JOHN R. HART
3 ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR
AT LAW.
Prompt and Careful Attention to All
Riieinaee I Inrlai4al/an
I TeTephone" No.'*69. YORK, 8. C
f 76 tt It
! J. 8. BEIOE
Attorney At Law.
Prompt Attention to all local1
r Business of Whatever Nature,
j "Office Opposite Courthouse.
\ DR. WM. M. KENNEDY
? DENTAL SURGEON ? j
1 Office on Second Floor of the Wylle |
l Building. ' ^
Telephones: Office. *9; Residence. 1W.
The Enquirer Office.
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Fancy price for
irolina tobacco
to Turkey, (ot
Uty rather then
' <
qualities which *
body, zest and <
doesn't need to
but tastes best *
i Piedmont.
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