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^tumorous |l f part went Our Language is So Explicit!--The tradesman had rendered his bill, waited a month, and then wrote: "Please, sir, I want my bill." Back came the bill with these words: "Certainly: here it is." The bill .was returned, and in a month the tradesman again wrote: "Kindly send me the amount of my bill." And the answer came, politely and promptly: * ?- u 1ai aj off ?? "certainly; u it> ivi.-u. ' The third month the tradesman again wrote: "Will ^ou send me a check for the - amount of my bill?" The answer came, with a blank, unsigned check: "Certainly; here is the check. I have kept the amount of your bill." The fourth month the tradesman wrote: "I want my bill paid." And the answer came back: "So do I." ' Then the tradesman gave It up. ,.$ure Cure Wanted.?A wild-looking man rushed, into a dentist's office, nearly upsetting* the butler at the door. "Do you glue gas here?" asked the newcomer. . "We do," replied the dentist. "Does it put a fellow to sleep?" 4 "It doesr -- -. > . "Soudd sleep, so you can't wake him UJ>?"' " ' *U' v ^ y<"Yes." "You could break his jaw or black vhls eye and he wouldn't feel It?" ^ '^te would lenow nothing about It." / "How long does he sleep?" "About a minute, or probably a little less." "I expect that's long enough- Got It all ready for a fellow to take?" "Tee; take a seat In this chair and show me your tooth." V 'Tooth nothing," ibid the excited caller, beginning rapidly to remove his coat and vest. "I want you to pull u porous plaster off my back." Wagnerian Organ Effects.?An organ-grinder. whose repertoire consisted largely of old-fgshioned Italian melodies and operatic selections, played one or two of them before a suburban . house. There happened to be a party of music-loving people on the porchdevotees of Wagner. Tho host, whose hair was long and hri/shed pompadour, becltOQed to the man- "I should be glad," said he with a lofty manner, "if you would kindly play a few selections ( from Wagner." I/nmediately the organ-grinder, 1 - * ' J '1-11.. ..nllarf. ( tttrawing up nu nunun wuui;, * "Wagner! Wagner! Not for fifty dol- i lara. I breaka three organs an' kllla , two monk wid your Wagner! I play ( him no more!" On 1 n WTTT-^ Go Up Head, Johnny.?Once upon a time an inspector was examining a very youthful clasa of Scotch boys, and among other subjects he requested the teacher to ask her pupils a few que*- , Hons in Nature knowledge. Desiring , her class to do her honor she decided upon the simple subject, "Chickens." "Now, children," she said, "I want you to tell me something very wonder' ful about chickens." ( vHow they get out of their shells?" promptly responded one little fellow. "Wg|J," said the teacher, "that is, of 1 course, wonderful; but I mean something mora wonderful still." There wag silence for a few seconds. Then up spoke Johnny. "Please, ma'am, it's malr wonderful hoo they ever ? oVin]la'" / Bui, njiay Why He Wanted to Know.?A pawnbroker,was awakened In the mid- 1 die of the night by a furious knocking , at his door. Opening the window he looked out and asked: "What's the matter?" "Come down," demanded-the knocker. calmly. "But " ,, "Come down!" The pawnbroker hastened down- 1 stairs and peeped around the door. i "Now, sir," ho demanded. "I wan'sh know the time," said the reveler.! "Do you mean to say you knocked me up for that? How dare you r The midnight visitor looked injured"Well, you've got my watch," he said. When the Weather was Very Cold. ?An American and a/Scotchman were discussing the cold experienced in winter in the north of Scotland. ' Why, it's nothing at all compared to the cold we have in the States," said the American- "I can recollect one winter when a sheep, jumping from a hillock Into a field, became suddenly frozen on the way, and stuck in the air like a mass of ice." "But, man," exclaimed the Scotchman, "the law of gravity wouldn't allow that." llT l? ?4Vw, conlipfl lhf> tale X MIUW 111(41) ?V|/??V*. ? ? pitcher. "But the law of gravity was frozen, too!" A Sign of Bad Weather.?A nervous woman on an ocean liner approached a deck-hand during a season of 'headseas," and asked: "Have you ever seen any worse weuther than this, Mr- Sailor?" "Take a word from an old salt, mum," replied the dock-hand. "The weather's never very bad while there's any females on deck a-making inquiries about it." Couldn't Do Better.?Two friends who had not seen each other for several years met again, unexpectedly, as neighbors in a new suburban place. "Hallo. Biiklns! Who are you working for now?" asked Simkin3, over tli<* garden fence. X "Sahte people," was the cheery answer_ "A wife and five children." I . r < j> T . ,, I. Coming to York THE ASSOCIATED DOCTORS Specialists Will Be at Shandon Hotel on Thursday, September 11th, for j One Day Only. ? / x \\ Convincing Evidence for the Sick, How Chronic Sufferers Are Being Restored to Health Through Associated Doctor's System of Treatment. Offer Service Free of Charge The Associated Doctors, Specialists, licensed and authorized by the State if South Carolina, and who have met vith such phenomenal success, will be n YORK, at the SHANDON JfOTEL, in THURSDAY, SEPT. 11TH, for Dne "Day Only, to demonstrate th^ir lew system of treatment of chronic cases. Thiese regular, reputa ble physicians believe that the combined skill of several trained specialists n chronic disease cases can accomplish -' nore than one doctor alone?in other R'ords, in unity there is strength. The offer to treat all^who call on h^ visit, Absolutely Free, is their jrlginal method of geiting their system j >f treatment before the public quicker, ind no one, rich or poor, white or coined, should neglect to take advantage >f their very liberal free offer?ABSOLUTELY FREE?(medicine excepted). Co cutting, no knife! 11 \ It makes no difference how many loctors you have consulted or how nany patent medicines -you have tak- ' ?n, you cannot afford to miss this opportunity of ascertaining your exact :ondition and be honestly advised. No ?ne should require further evidence of he skill of these Specialists than the ollowing: TESTIMONY Mrs. S. A. baker, Lamar, S. CM ' \ vi.tcs: 'T am feeling lots stronger and ? >etter. Have good appetite. I am lure glad I am taking your remedies." / ( William C. Orr, Bamberg, S. C., < vrltes: "I have taken all the remedies r*cu prescribed for mc and am "feeling nuch better. Will you please send me mother." . * H arm! C. L. Therrell, Chesterfield, S. C., writes: "I am getting on Just fine. ' Peel well, eat well and sleep well." Now that you know the truth, you liave only yourself to blame if you continue to suffer from Piles, Kidney and Bladder trouble, Discharges, Bed Wetting, Blood Poison, Skin Eruptions, Rheumatism, Epilepsy, Uric Acid Poisoning, Paralysis, Nervous troubles and Debility, Neuralgia, Stomach and Liver troubles, Catarrh, Indigestion, Asthma, Constipation, Gall Stones, Bronchitis, Pleurisy, Tumors, Ovarian and Female Troubles, Enlarged Glands or any reflex conditio^ of the nervous system, and those diseases about wnicn j most people dislike to consult the gencral practitioner. ; Married women should be accompanied by their husbands and children by their parents. ... * | k V J'.' Remember the Hotel, Day and Date ?one day only. ^ Hours: 9:00 a. m. to 4.00 p. m. T, Office and Laboratories v 511-512 Lyric Buildine, % j /| BIRMINGHAM, ALA. \ V \ SCHOOL BOOKS < The Graded School opens next Mon- q day and of course all children of the ? school age are expected to be on the s< job. Then, too, most of them will re- 81 CJ quire some New Books?some more? q some less. Remember, that tills Store p is headquarters for all South Carolina .f< adopted School Books and also for SCHOOL SUPPLIES ? 11 We have quite a complete stock of Books and the othef School Room nc- ai cessities. Let'us serve ydu. ^ But we want to remind you in regard D to School Books that we arc not allow?i *~ o^ll *hnw nrn/m) fnl" CASH. HI OH. --i . w Shieder-Snelling Drug Co. F 8,000 PAIRS OF SHOES AT OLD PRICES \ We have an Immense stock to go at the Old Prices. 10,000 yds. 35c OUTING at 25 CTS. f 10 Bales BED TICKING?At f 20 CTS. ami 25 CTS. * 35,000 yds. 40-inch\SHEETTNG?today's price is 29c?Going at 20 CTS. Hamilton HICKORY SHIRTING?At . 33 1-3 errs. Y(l. j 000 BOYS' SUITS At $5.00, $6.50, $8.50?Worth $3.00 per Suit rrrdfe 1n New York today. LAST FEBRUARY WE PURCHASED Our entire stock of WAVE POPLINS and SERGES. Today they are 50 per cent higher. We pass>all on to our customers at the Old Price. It will pay you to look this immense Stock over. McConnell dcompanys Cheapest Store in South Carolina WHOLESALE AND RETAIL OUR SPECIALTY IS WOMEN'S, MISSES AND CHILDREN'S READY-TO-WEAR HATS. In All Styles and Qualities SCHOOL OPENS NEXT MONDAY See us about the New ^chool Hat for your child. / OUR OOODS ARE OP BEST P5 QUALITY? And we challenge competition in the prices. WE HAVE NEW SHAPES For use in making over the last year's hat and it will be our pleasure to help you in re-trimming your old hat. We have an entirely now line of Velvets and Ribbons and everything that goes with Millinery. Homemade Handkerchiefs a Specialty. The Millinery Parlor Mrs. J. M. FERGUSON, Prop. CARLOAD BUGGIES i JUST ARRIVED ? F< Orood Buggies, too?the kind g0? that will please you in the w style and workmanship? u ?-1 a 1 X CSS, III1U. liii? l l'cli vuiihj; iui ' nc the price. Sec us if inter- tic ested in buying a buggy. < Incidentally keep the Nor- walk Tires and Tubes in j mind. They're sure good. , CARROLL SUPPLY CO. ci se REAL ESTATE FARMS AND CITY PROPERTY CATAWBA REAL ESTATE CO. Capital $150,000.00 Established 1002 F1 J. M. CHERRY, JAMES S. WHITE, FJ President. Secretary, ROSS F. ROACH. F] Salesman. D. "YOU LIST IT. WE SELL IT." w Hock HJ1I, - - S. C. " Gi Ju HORSES AND MULES. W F STILL have a few young Mules and Horses: also some Second Hand Stock. Will sell at reasonable prices, T cash or credit. York No. 5. 32 tf B. B. FERGUSON. liniiiiiiiiiiiiiiciiiHiiiiiHiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiiiiimi I CHATTANOOGk | K-H a E We have just received a = GRATES. Sec us. Tlicy ? ri _ x i a service ana saLisiactiuu. r Summer Time with us it b = and preparing for the very a staring us in the face. 1 PAIORIf YES'thp< 5 tttLUJUL moar.s of lie | you intend liaving one inst a the approaching winter, it 5 place your order with us n | Our Motto?SERVE | THE YORK HARDY I YORK, - s ' ~ iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiuiiiiiitiiiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiiiifiriiiiii Clover Crops (ioocl farmers have long since demnstrated the value of Cover Crops and lost good farmers are particular to ie to it that a part of their lands a^e Dwn to Cover crops in the early fall? arly sowing insuring better stands, rimson Clover, Vetch and Rape have roven their worth as cover crops both jr pastureagc .and for turning under >r soil Improvement. We have the ?ed?RAPE, VETCH and CRIMSON LOVER. Be sure that you sow down jmc of your acreage to these crops. [ORSE FEED? Yes, we know that you know that we re headquarters for Horse and Mule eed. We arc telling it to your neigh r, so he'll know. Also as to AIRY OGW FEED? Ours is the kind that makes more lilk and butter and costs less per galn to get the milkERGUSON & YOUNGBLOOD / MTERALL'S 'ASTE FAINTHAS NO SUPERIOR. CHEAPER, BECAUSE IT WILL TAKE ON TWICE AS MUCH OIL AS ORDINARY PALsT. ALSO HAVE LINSEEiD OIL AND TURPENTINE * IN STOCK. LOUIS ROTH ?UIC K AND , OAKLAND AUTOMOBILES lace orders novf for future delivery. QUINN WALLACE ABOUT GROCERIES Ladies and Gentlemen: i; A word with yop about Groceries, lien you buy Groceries for your tao you want the Best in Qaulity and e Most for your money. My constant tcntion striven,t6 Groceries and I Jlevo that a can make it to you * incest to become a REGULAR CUS5MER at this store. All sorto of >odstu(ts are gradually advancing, ike my advice and buy freely of the >ods quoted here: ItESII VEGETABLES? Always in siock. Everything sold at >west Prices consistent with quality. Potato Slips?your orders oomc >w for Potato Slips?$2-50 per 1,000 dlvered. Orders filled In 3 to 5 days Money refunded. J. D. HOPE, Sharon, S. C. f 50 HAMS WANTED We want to buy FIFTY COUNTRY JRI2D HAMS. If you have any to II, see us at once. When you have a pood Fat Deef to II, LET ME KNOW. flESII FISII? KID AY AND SATURDAY. We will have a nice assortment of KESH FISH FRIDAY AND SATUR\Y. Let us have your order. hen that Calf cets four weeks old? its too strong for wife to hold? ist send him on to town? e pay you the cash right down. ? O. G. JITY MEAT MARKET C. F. SHERER. Pmr iimiiiHiiiii!iiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiniiiiKiiiiii>t 1 f ILL . I GRATES j shipment of the above 5 are the kind that give 5 While-we still have Old = ehooves us all to be up = cold winter mat is now 5 3AL0B1C is the ideal jj >ating the house, and if 5| ailed in your house for E, would be desirable to = OW. Li ! - U - RITE. f VARE COMPANY | - - S.C. I ifiiiifiiiiiiiiioiijiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiituF ANNOUNCEMENT * IT IS WITH,PLEASURE that I announce to my'friends and the publrc generally, that I have opened a GROCERY AND FEED STORE In the Wylle Building, recently vacated by the Hart Grocery Co-, and I am now ready for business and will appreciate your patronage. I will handle a general line of GROCERIES and FARM SUPPLIES and of course a full line of FEEDSTUFFS for work animals, hogs, cows and poultry. I want your business and will appreciate your favors, and will give my patrons PROMPT SERVICE. COURTE^T * mrnnvmrAxr r>T T? Cirn nT A OO UUB A I.J. Iliil XAWi>, X'i.rk.r)j. GOODS and FAIR PRICES. Call on me for your needs whatever they may be. J. M. FERGUSON A In the Wylie Building BARRELS AND KEGS We h?ve 5 and 10 gallon Molasses Kegs and 50 gallon Barrels, but you had best see us quick. Supply is limited. BARBED WIRE? We have it. Also have the Hog Fencing and also Baling Wire. CHURNS/ We have both the Dazey Chum and the Taylor Chitrn ?either will give satisfac fcory service. HARDWARE? See us for whatever you need in Hardware. i FARMERS HARDWARE & SUPPLY CO. ^ A ? ' i , i f - ] 4 ] "I f ? Som< "descei that wa men wh price pi For t men wa ! , "life." That' be mix< ttrlian vi II UbU J 1 I ' B l . 1 a i V rV'v;.-v v ' ' v? * KT" " V \ DID WE O PEN On the Morning of the 20th? We did. And to our surprise the Goot and Tender beef eating folks of Yorl gave us a splendid response. As al children do, we are crawling new; bu if past patronage is an index it will on ly be a short while before crawlini will be a thing of the past, and NO>i 11 it ID 9U11IUIM1I15 JjUV/U iv/ wi Viiuw JW want Plione No. 6, and the Bicycle Be livery will be on the Job Immediately ON FRIDAY AND SATURDAY We have booked the following gooc things to eat: Cutlets, Fresh Water and Salt Water Speckled Trout, Fresh Eggs, Butter and Cheese And somebody might want a piece o Bologna Sausage. It is therefore un necessary to expense yourself to th< extent of a trip to Rock Hill in orde to satisfy your desires. We hope t< nave It, and if not, it is your privilegi to express your wantr and it shall b< our aim to satisfy the demands of thi public, when permitted by existin! conditions. ? We want to buy Eggs, Butter an< PhirlfPTi<i The SANITARY MARKED LEWIS G. FERGUSON, Prop. FEELING BLUE LIVER LAZY TAKE A CALOTAE Wonderful How Young anc Energetic You Feel Aftei ITIn1n?/a TViin \T niirtAolrtflt icuuug xiuo iiauocaicoi Calomel Tablet. If you have not tried CalotaJ?s- yoi havo a delightful surprise awaitini you. The wonderful llver-cleansinj and system-purifying properties of calomel may now beymjoyed without th< slightest unpleasantness. A Calotab a bedtime with a? swallow of water,that's all. No taste, no salts, nor th< slightest unpleasant effects. You wak< up in the morning feeling so good tha you want to laugh about it. / Your livei is clean, Your system is purified, youi appetite hearty. Eat what you wish,? no danger. The next time oyu fee lazy, mean, nervous, blue or discouraged give your liver a thorough cleans ing with a Calotab. They are so perfeci that your druggist is authorized to refund the price as & guarantee that yoi will bo delighted. Calotabs are sold only in origina sealed packages. Price thirty-five cents At all drugstores.? (adv). i - * moke Virginia- Carolirr - - , V Does Qualit mean :ancy . , price to you a smokers still pay a i idants" of Virginia-Cs s transplanted years ado 10 judge tobacco by qua! efer Virginia-Carolina. his tobacco has all the i mt in a cigarette?flavor, 's why Virginia-Carolina ?d with other tobaccos, 3U smoke it straight?in a t The Virginia f.4 I _ , i. .ij j(? )(u ?- ? Bv , <- s ' ? SCHOOL BOOKS AND , i SCHOOL SUPPLIES * c 1 PLEASE REMEMBER THAT t WE ARE PREPARED TO SUPPLY ALL STATE ADOPTED ! SCHOOL BOOKSCSALSO THAT WE HAVE EVERYTHING ' NEEDED IN THE WAY OF SCHOOL SUPPLIES? Pencils, Tablets, Pens, Inks, Composition Books, Exercise 1 Books, Efc. Please Remember That All School Rooks ore SPOT CASH?Xo Books ' ? CliarRcd to Anybody. I CLOVER DRUG STORE 3 R. L. WYLIE, Proprietor 0 Phone No. 2 Clover, g. O. 3 ' PROFESSIONALGARDS. 1 P. W. HUNTER M. D. ' 1 ~ . Office in Up Stairs of Kennedy Broe. & Darren Building. For present can "be found upon in" quiry at Shieder-Snclllng Drue Company. Telephone S6. 4t . . . , ' - > X -J. A. MARION ? ATTORNEY-AND COUNSELLOR AT . ) LAW i Office opposite the Courthouse. Telephone No. 126, York Exchange. 'YORK. 8. a I - JOHN R. HART 3 ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW. Prompt and Careful Attention to All Riieinaee I Inrlai4al/an I TeTephone" No.'*69. YORK, 8. C f 76 tt It ! J. 8. BEIOE Attorney At Law. Prompt Attention to all local1 r Business of Whatever Nature, j "Office Opposite Courthouse. \ DR. WM. M. KENNEDY ? DENTAL SURGEON ? j 1 Office on Second Floor of the Wylle | l Building. ' ^ Telephones: Office. *9; Residence. 1W. The Enquirer Office. / [ Straight99 ? , V V. 1 < y \ SSiv;:-,.V J ? - ' ' " y ' ^ / ' / ? ' * ' . * t ? - - , . * .? - > Fancy price for irolina tobacco to Turkey, (ot Uty rather then ' < qualities which * body, zest and < doesn't need to but tastes best * i Piedmont. . \ v^v\V int \ I J I ' \ ."' . " ! UJ Ij - i X fl i I