Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, June 03, 1919, Image 4

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\S i&umorou? Jjrpartmrnt An Effective Break.?A dusky doughboy, burdened under tons of medals and miles and miles of ribbons, service and wound chevrons, stars et al., encountered a Twenty-seventh division scrapper in Le Mans a few days prior to the division's departure for the states. "Whar yo* all be scra^pin' in dis yar war, boss?" meekly inquired the colored soldier. "We've been fighting up in Belgium '5 and Flanders with the British," re r%r ? plied the New Yorker, proudly. "Well, we ben down in dem woods K ?wittcha call 'em woods 'way down eoiith?" "The Argonne?" suggested young Knickerbocker. "Yas, yas, dem's de woods?d" Argonna" "You know our division was the first ' to break the Hindenburg line, colored boy," explained the Twenty-seventh man. 'Was it) you wot did dat tricky? Y*know, boss, we felt dat ol' line sag 'way down in d' Argonne."?The Gas Attack. / ~~" """""" He Wae on the Right Track.?Dr. J. M. Buckley, the Methodist divlna was asked one <Jay to conduct an "experience meeting" at a colored church in the south. ( A colored woman arose and bore witness to the preciousness of her ? eM?ion a? lixht-bringer and comfort giver. . ' "That's good, sister," commented Dr. Buckley. "But now about the practical side. Does your religion make you strive to prepare your husband a good dinner? Does it make you look after him in every way?" Just then Dr. Buckley felt a yank at his coat-tails "By the colored preacher, who whispered ardently: "Press dera questions, doctor; press dem questions. Dat's my wife!"?Ladies' * ^ Home Journal. Couldn't Maybe?In a Trap!?"England really did dig deeply into its resources during the war," insists Lord! Northcliffe. "I am reminded of the old woman who had come up from the country to see her daughter married in London. " "Motorbuses and taxicabs were out of the question, and she was a little nervous of having a 'growler/ sne chose a man with a good-tempered face, and timidly inquired: "There is no fear of your horse running away, is there? He's not afraid of motors, is he?" " 'Bless you, no mum,' said the genial cabby- Why, he didnlt even shy ,at railway trains when they first come in."?Los Angles Times. Yet.?A zealous excise officer was sent to Ireland to try to locate several "moonshine" stills which were known to exist. Meeting a native, the excise officer approached him, saying: "I'll giT? you nve snnungs, rai, u you can take me to a private still. "Troth, an' I will, sir," was Pat's reply, aahe pocketed the money. "Come with me." For many weary miles over mountain, bo* and moor they tramped, until they came Into view of a barracks. Pointing to a soldier seated on a step inside the square, Pat said: 'There.you are, sir, my brother Mike; he's been a soldier for ten years, an* he's a private still."?Vim. The Sigh Language.?Ephum Johnson was up before Judge Shlmmerplate on a cruelty to animals charge. " 'Deed Ah wasn't abusing dat mule, v Judge," the old man demurred. >. "Did you not strike it repeatedly with a club?" "Yassah." "And do you not know that you can accomplish more with vanimajs by speaking to them?" "Yassah; but this critter am different. He am so deef he can'^ hear me when Ah- speaks to him in de usual way, so Ah has to communicate wid him in de sign language."?Charleston Mail Three Out, All Out.?"Might I ask how my three-act drama is comirag on, sir? Has it been accepted^ questioned the young dramatist eagerly. "The three members of the reading committee have read it," replied %the manager, "and I think it will do with one act cut out" "I am glad to hear it is no worse, sir," said its fcuthoi, breathing a sigh of relief. "But," continued the manager, "unfortunately each one wants to strike out a different act."?Harper's Magazine. I , , TH^y Couldn't Help It.?Two friends met in the Strand the morning after an airplane raid. "Any damage done your way?" the first asked. "Damage! Rather!" answered the other. "Father and mother were blown clean out of thef window. The neighbor ?nv it'n thA first time they've been seen to leave the house together In seventeen years."?New York Globe. The Holy Terror.?Lady?They say Father Hooley advanced to the attack with a prayer-book in one hand and a bomb In the other. Returned Soldier?They're always thryin' t' belittle a good man, mum. Lady?Why. wasn't it true? Soldier?No, lady; he had bombs in both hands.?Life. ? e ? Taking Stock of Him.?The Suitor? "I hope, sir, that you will consider me in the nature of an investment, even if I may not pay regular dividends." The Girl's Father?"My dear boy, don't talk of dividends. I shall be glad if you don't levy regular ussess1 ments on me."?LifeHe Knew.?Teacher?"Don't you know that punctuation means that you must pause?" Willie?"Of course I do. An auto driver punctuated his tire in front of our house Sunday and he paused for half an hour."?Boston Transcript. Uo f.arpi?tl On.?Fond Mamma?Oh, look, papa, how solid baby feels this morning. Catch hold of him. Papa?Yes, there certainly seems a difference. He was all "holler" last night-"?Tit Bits. Just Work.?Lady?Do you want employment Tramp?Lady, yer means well, but yer can't make work sound any more invitln* by usln' a word of three syllables.?Tit Bits. ( - IB HBB l;"v Th? "Simple Cook this summer on a N< Cookstove. It will save ; care of many needless hou With this stove you can k low kitchen-and-dining ro< no bother with coal or smoke or soot. The long sures the intense white fla STAI* * Washingto Norfolk, y Richmond n m (jtfewOrlei I Luziani II aSouthi ff Souther nl aad'Net tiierepu iiig the in the \ States. he Reily-Ta" JSkwl GUARANTEl If, after using the entirt can according to directions satisfied In every respect, wlU refund the money jroi CLEANING AND PRESSING ?T is real economy to have your Clothes Gleaned and Pressed frequently, and uesides Clean Clothes, if rightly pressed, add much to one's appearance. Satisfaction guaranteed. ROYAL PRESSING CLUB. R. D. DORSETT, Proprietor. satistai sweet t 1 Aid to difiestic and en. LASTIM jijC- | And 01 | ap Flavor Lasl ?w 'Perfection Oil fically correct?th you the time and or low at will. T sehold tasks. efficiently, depenc eep your bung.- time *nd om clean and cool Don' t let this sumi ashes?no odor, fashioned coal ranj blue chimney in- Aladdin Security me?one &cienti-v for all purposes?i JDARD OIL COMPy (New Jersey) a, D. c. Baltimore, Md. Charlott* /a. ' Charles tc , Va. Charlestc al 1 msCoflee V" le is distinctly 11 em coffee for 1 npeople.New II isitshome^iir, | v Orleans has I ctationofmak 11 best coffee If vhcJe United II EVERY POUND-SOLD IN Alt jl INDIVIDUAL AIR-TIGHT TIN CAN IB INE "fie* I /lor Company I Orleans J| i content* of // , you ire not / your grocer u paid for It SINGER SEWING MACHINES T AM Agent and Salesman for the A Genuine Singer Sewing Machine? absolutely the best domestic sewing machine in the world, regardless of price. Also I repair Sewing Machines of all kinds at reasonable prices- Call on or write to me at York, S. C. 12 sw 3m H. F. FAKFR. |ST IN G ction for the ooth. , appetite and >n ? benefit ioyment in IG form. lily 5 cents ackaee. ffBSH I " / I , ,,j,, Mamm at can be regulated high he New Perfection cooks lably?means meals on ; comfort. All sizes, ner find you using tlfS oldie. See your dealer today. y.Oil is the best kerosene obtainable everywhere. \NY >, N. C. in, W. Vs. V # in, S. G. . l::> FIEST NATIONAL BANE * -* SHARON, - - S- C. A REAHLY HELPFUL BANK? A Bank to be helpful to a community must at ?.11 times be ready and able to take dare of every reasonable call for banking accommodations. It " can only lend money when the other fellow wants it and needs money. The man with a big balance doesn't need to borrow. This bank is hero ready to furnish money to the man who has a need -<or it and in every caso it is our pleasure to meet such legitimate calls for funds. Tnen too, we can serve the man who has money and who doei not need to borrow. We can and will an<} do take care of his surplus fundsrendering a strict and accurate account of every transaction at the end of.each month. We also protect him against accidental loss, Are and burglary, then too a Checking Accountpaying by Check?is the safe way ttrdo business. Let us have your accountJ. S. KABTNESS, Cashier. n-nonTiCPTftWAT flAQTifl 1 iau'l; vxuww. ? J. A. MARIONATTORNEY AND COUN" .LLOIt A1 LAW Office opposite the Courthouse. / Telephone No. 126, York Exchange. YORK. ~- 8. C. JOHN R. HART ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW. Prompt and Careful Attention to All Business Undertaken. Telephone No. ,69. YORK, S. C 76 f.t It J. S.- BRICE Attorney At Law. I'rompt Attention to all legal Business of Whatever Nature. Office Opposite Courthouse. Farm Mortgage Loans Made In York County through Attorneys? ' C. E. SPENCER, York, 8. C. C. W. F. SPENCER, Rock Hill, S. C. Interest rates low. Get ready for crops, Improving the farm, buying land, and settling over-due claims. CAROLINA BOND & MORTGAGE COMPANY, Union National Bank Building, Columbia, - - S. C. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiniiii ? 1 JiFff''3^^^ - if.; / BE U . 1*$hW 5 v I WE HAVE MM W ? Yes, to be sure, we a 5 ficient number of Mules ? demand that may be ma ? others wlio need additior ? . or other use, and too, w ? will be pleased to own, tli = ments in every way?qi = Come and see us if you 1 s spring farm work. We I MU1E3 JAMfiSB iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiuimiiiiiiui I ? y m ' jp E2AJB81 THE ?AND IT'S YOUR Through specia manufacturers, Week only, a h stantial set of C with every Ma ware is good wa worth a,lot to yourself." I And Rem< The price of a ] will not be incri ly be a gr^at re( if ever, but ther TWO NE The Wonde Yes, it's rivet-tight, rivets, clinch inside - smooth as glass, and tt\e inside. And, ren . only one or two thre; and cause no end o inside and outside? slcin deer*. ~ rIf you haven York] AUTOMOBILE INSURANC] I BEG TO CALL THE ATTENTIOl of Automobile owners to the fact tha I am In position to insure their cars 1 a Good, Strong Company, the agenc for whiph I have recently accepted, a A LOWER PREMIUM RATE than can be securdtl elsewhere. Th company does not insure cars over fou years old. In case you wajit your ca Insured it Is necessary that I have th following Information: Name of automobile, factory num ber, whether touring or roadstei model (year). The policy covers toss or damage b Are or lightning, either in garage o anywhere else in the United State: regardless of origin of Are. In cas you care to save a substantial amour ion your automobile insurance, I an I expecting the business. Don't let anybody persuade you tha my rates arc not the lowest, withou making a personal investigation. SAM M. GRIST All Kinds of Good Insurance. iiimiiiiiimiiiiiiiimiiiiiMiiiiiiiiimiiiiiiif ? ITT 1Kgg.?^pr>- " HEN YOU WANT 'EM re yet supplied with a sufto supply any reasonable ide on us by farmers and lal work animals for farm e have the kind that you iat will meet your requirelality, weight., size, style, lave a hurry need in your can supply you. ROTHERS H0RSES IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUII == < ' I ilji iiTj. , mMfmK I W *- J) I I ! BARGAIN ! WELL WORTH WHILE! ' * 1 arrangements with the and during this Bargain >eautiful, useful and subooking Wdre will be given jestic Range sold. This /--A- -T \ i4.fr. ,re ^noi cneap ware;?it ? you. Come and see for imber? Vlajestic Range this week lased, and there will hardiuction for years to come, e may be an increase soon. W AND IMI rful Unseen Riveti i . just like the old Majestic, bui of nickeled parts, leaving n there are no big, bulky bolt-hea< lember, rivets hold tight; bolts ads holding are bound to work ] f trouble. The Majestic is sir -it's a striking, beauty?more i 't a MAJESTIC, avail yourself ? this wonderful range?b $ uirniture I ! ^ %. ! % \ ' % 4 k ' ~ iimnniiHiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii '! TEA * I 1 it a ? J n 5 v i y a v J it a ^ J AtTENI ;|stjmm 11 WINTh !| JUNE 17?. FACULTY I c I PRIMARY I B = Distinguished ] | Pleasant Surrc | Library of 20,< |N For Bulletin Tn iiiiiiiibiiiiiiiiiiiiliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiuii REAL ESTATE ,j The past is behind us. _The future is i< > ahead. -The old town has taken on IJ' new life. _Be wise and secure your < > home before prices go higher. A few of my offerings: < > The R. J. Mackorefl residence in the < > center of town; 10-rooms, with all j [ modern improvements. Lot 1S2 x 340 * | feet. Plenty of room to erect another < ( house on back side of lot. Enough < i said. < i Five-room cottage on Lincoln street 4 1 with water and lights. Lot 60x326 !! feet. Property of Mrs. O. E. Wilklns. <, A real bargain. . : The R. E. Heath residence on CleveZ land Avenue. Six rooms, with water, light and sewerage. Lot 86 x 218 feet. 5 A nice home for some one. S The R. H. 'Dobaon estate lands on 5 West Madison Street, three aCres, jj with three tenant houses. Has a fron; tage of about 300 feet. An ideal place Z to build a home and priced just right. See me at once. 5 The J. C. Wallace residence on Blast 1 Madison street. Lot 200 x 268 feet Eight-room residence. You could not 2 build the house for anything like what Z I will sell you the property for. Be; sides it is an ideal place for a store 5 room. Some one is going to get a S bargain. 5 Remember, I have lots of others, S town and country. '< > Loans arranged on farming lands. < | GEO. W. WILLIAMS I z REAL ESTATE | E Room 204 First National Bank Bldg _ \ 2 W Typewriter papers, 15 Cta. lb. and I I upward, at The Enquirer Office. T Great Majestic Bargain \ SPECIAL DEMONSTRAT Tfc A -n/N A TVT n A T T1 i JBAliUiiliN Pft Iir< 1 Majestic R At Our Store?One Wee June 9th to 14t * To Be Truly Economical Th Be a Majestic in Tour 1 Economy is not merely spending tl buying a range at too low a pric economy. The First cost is not the only cost tional ffrst cost of a Majestic is n with its economy of fuel and sati Nearly a million Majestic Range cally, scientifically and satisfacto lions and millions of people, civili is proof positive of their superioril There is only one best. The pu The Majestic is recognized as th< ranges. The construction, materi and beauty of this wonderful rar ' and it embodies important featu 'iio other range. Your Opportunity ii At our store?-during Majestic Ba your chance to get acquainted about ranges. We assure you i your while to investigate. >ORTANT FEA ing Oh, Joy! Top Need t the A smooth, highly polis ickel burnished blue, not o with beauty of the Majestic [oose eliminates the work, d tooth trying to keep the ran$ than just an occasional thin retains its beautiful v< of this opportunity to get acquai now the inside of ranges. ' "* x iidiuwai N . ' *. uiiiuiiiiiiiauiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimu C H E R i / BETTER POSITIONS? BETTER WORK? BETTER SALARY? ) ' [ER SCHC at ' IROP COLL JULY 25 ROCK HILL, of experienced teaci OURSESOF STUDY WORE, GRADE WORK, [IGH SCHOOL AND COLLEG Educators for Short Lecture Cours iiindings; Large, Cool Dormitories, 000 Volumes, Swimming Pool, Tei address? D. B. JOHNSON, IIIIIIIIUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUIHIIIIIHIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUIIII YORKviLLE OOrTON C WE HAVE COTTON SEED H For Sale at $12 per ton, Cas OUR ROLLER MILL continue possible service, and our I from all parts of the coun help to swell our list of friei ; WE ARE HANDLING Don Forge Coals of the Best gra wfe are giving prompt atteni WE HAVE COTTON SEED I purposes. WHETHER IT IS MEAL, Hull .Meal or anything else in < consideration is that our fi ers must not be disappoin they receive. YORKVILLE COTTON (1 W Crop and Chattel Mortgages at WW Trp< be Enquirer ufttce. upward, i Range Veek ION AND 3F i anges k Only h, 1919 ere Should < kitchen he least money? e is indeed false ;?the little addiothing compared sfactory service. is, now economi- , rily serving milans and soldiers, ;y over all others. blic has judged, e standard of all al, workmanship Lge is unequaled, res possessed by s Here? rgain Week. It's with real .facts it will be worth ~ , V I 1 v TITHES Is No Blacking. v < hed cooking top, nly adds to the , but absolutely f irt and worry of je looking nicecoat of paraffinei ilvet blue color. nted with L , e Co. * t )ol EGE " ? sc. 1ERS ffi. ' es. > v mis Court. = President. - 1 ^ rdmiiiimnmiwin?! J rmrnl ULLS ii h, at the Mill. < | is to give the Best 3I pleased customers 3I ty are people who II ids and patrons. <3 V lestic, Steam and 3I' m des obtainable and 31 , bion io all orders. 3 3 < > ? ji /TP. AT. fnr feedincr < 4 4 4 4 Is, Coal, Ice, Flour, < J our line, our first ?j lends and custom- ?? ted in the service < I . 4 4 in /inuniiiv o IIL lUJUrflni c < > . ewriter papers, 15 Ots. lb. and it The Enquirer Office. % 1 ,'aJi~'~ iiIff'i'' 'fcii ^f^ii1hir*Tai